The Flower's Faith
by ultimateromantic
Summary: InuKag sequel to Butterfly Keeper. As Inuyasha sets off to right his wrongs, he and Kagome find themselves in the midst of a new enemy, who challenges the trust that holds their love intact.
1. Ch 1: My Love

**Hello, hello! Alright, everyone. Here with the sequel to The Butterfly Keeper is The Flower's Faith. And I've decided to start this fic off with a song-fic chapter. It's from my new favorite favorite movie titled Kal Ho Naa Ho, which if you haven't seen, GO DO IT NOW! The song is Maahi Ve (Eng: My Love). Yeah, I know the fact that I have a Punjabi/Hindi song is really really weird, but like I said, I am a language geek. Let's just pretend it's Japanese. I just really wanted to include it, because the music is perfect for this chapter. Please forgive, and if you can, find the song, cuz you may appreciate the emotion more then. **

**I am the Uber Fluff! Feed me! Feeeeed me! (Leave reviews.)**

Chapter 1: My Love

_Maahi ve… Maahi ve _

_That's the way, maahi ve._

The approaching night sky danced as they did. The splendor of the bright fall day met with the mystique of night and somehow found their common ground, their glory, as vibrant as the colors beneath them. The excitement of those below the heavens was thick in the air, and one might have said they would have given nymphs a run for their money. As perfect as an illusion it was, and if some fantasy, one they could still touch with their flimsy fingers. How came it to be such a perfect evening? Even with the ambiguous weather of autumn, they must have predicted well. And whether by luck or fate, the fall of rain would not have hindered them anyway.

_Tere maathe jhumar damke  
Tere kanno baali chamke hai re  
Maahi Ve_

"Amazing…"

"How do you suppose it works?"

"What kind of instrument is this?"

As the monk's hand reached out to begin some kind of investigation, a voice rang out to stop him, "Miroku-sama!"

The small group of men turned towards the call, and the miko known as Kagome stepped out from the crowd of people. Dressed in a long white skirt with a light blue kimono, she undoubtedly looked very different from the others. Although she accepted wearing the fancy blue shirt, the matching hakama was damn-near impossible to get used to. She opted instead for a skirt of her own, and though it was an unusual style of clothing to wear at an ancient celebration, she figured it wasn't any worse than the clothes the villagers had seen her wearing before. Her ebony hair was raised into a loose bun, and a few of her bangs ran free, due to running back and forth all day.

_Tere haatho kangana khanke  
Tere pairo payal chance hai re  
Maahi Ve_

Kagome slapped his hand away, "Don't touch that. You might break it."

"My apologies, Kagome-sama. We were simple amazed by this contraption you brought from your world. What do you call it, again?"

"A stereo," she replied, "And since you wanted some music, this is the best way to do it."

Luckily, she had moved her portable stereo to Kaede's hut before the well had closed. It may not have been able to run on battery life forever, but for a wedding reception, of course she had to make an exception. Miroku's eyes scanned the crowd before he asked, "And where is my lovely bride?"

"She's probably socializing. Don't work, I'll make sure you two receive your blessing together. I'll just go find her. You all enjoy yourselves."

_Naino se bole. Rabba rabba  
Mann mein dole. Rabba rabba  
Amrut ghole. Rabba rabba  
Tu soniye._

_Jind maahi ve_

As she left the small group of men behind, she couldn't help her eyes from widening just a little as she saw some people dancing to the music. Perhaps it was instinctive for them, but it was nevertheless a shock to see how quickly the villagers adapted to the aspects of her world. But once the small shock of it passed, Kagome felt content with the thought. Maybe they were generally accepting people, or maybe they just knew how much she had sacrificed to help them. It made her feel wanted… needed, so much more than in her own time.

She made her way carefully through the appointed dance floor, intent on reaching the building on the other side, wherein Sango was preparing herself yet again for a flood of congratulations and any other sort of blessings the villagers could conjure up. Whoever said weddings were slow didn't see entire villages showing up out of nowhere to honor their heroes.

Kagome giggled to herself as she saw Shippou joining in the dancing as well. The little one wasn't very coordinated, but she doubted anyone would mind it, given how adorable the kitsune was in his little green kimono. His big green eyes stared up at her happily as she picked him up off the ground. Afterall, even the littlest of her friends deserved a good dance.

_Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

_Everybody sing: Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve_

_Jind maahi ve. Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve_

_Everybody Sing: Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve_

_That's the way. Maahi ve._

Both miko and kitsune giggled as she spun them round and round, holding him around the waist and stepping to the rhythm. Their laughs echoed through gaps of the music, smiles as illuminated as boughs of sunlight. They danced alongside the others before Shippou pointed out, "She's back, Kagome."

_O tere aankhen kali kali _

_Tera gora gora mukhdha hai re_

_Maahi ve_

_Tere rangat jaise sona_

_Tu chaand ka tukda hai re _

_Maahi Ve_

Adorned in traditional white, Sango was truly a sight to be seen. True, the outfit itself was simple, but as could be expected, the bride was glowing. Even after weeks of nervous anticipation, she held no furrow upon her brow now. Already as she stepped out of the building, she was instantly swarmed with more guests wanting to congratulate her. But the exterminator insisted on speaking to Kagome first and foremost. She signaled for her friend to come over.

_Tere gaal gulabi. Rabba rabba_

_Chal sharabi. Rabba rabba _

_Dil ki kharabi. Rabba rabba_

_Tu soniye. Jind maahi ve._

"Sango-chan. You look so beautiful," Kagome exclaimed as she hugged the bride.

"Arigato, Kagome-chan. And this wedding is so perfect. I can't thank you enough for your help."

"It was nothing. I was glad to help out. Anyways, be sure not to go too far off. I think Miroku-sama's going to have a fit if he doesn't get to have his first dance soon."

They looked down as the kit spoke up, "Hey, don't forget about dancing with me too?"

Sango smiled brightly, "Of course not, Shippou-chan. Matter of fact, that monk can wait. Come on, you two."

_Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve_

_Everybody sing: Soni, Soni. Aaja maahi ve_

_Jind maahi ve. Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve_

_Everybody Sing: Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve_

Grabbing both of them, Sango jumped onto the dance floor. She didn't so much dance as she spun the three of them round and round. Like some sort of childish game. As Sango's laughs now accompanied the others, Kagome didn't think she had ever seen her friend so happy before. The past few weeks had been very stressful. Sango had wanted to wait until she found Kohaku to have the wedding. But after searching for weeks with no trace of him, they had to assume the inevitable. After all, if he was alive, he would have remembered her and have come back, wouldn't he? It was especially hard for Sango to accept, but seeing her face so filled with joy now made it easier to believe that life would go on.

Kagome stopped the movement as she saw Kaede giving her a signal. She turned to the bride, "Sango-chan. I think Miroku-sama's master wants to perform his small blessing for you now. Let's go get your husband."

"Wait a minute. Where's Inuyasha?" The exterminator looked around.

Kagome sighed. She supposed it was to be expected for the hanyou to not like parties. He wasn't exactly what you would call social. Still, honoring their friends would be nice. "Don't worry. I won't let him miss this. You go on to Miroku-sama. I'll find Inuyasha."

In the shadows of the building, two eyes watched the miko undividedly. The figure in question stood leaning against the wall with arms crossed, clearly perturbed at the whole idea of a wedding reception. He wasn't one to get invited to celebrations, so he was out of practice, to say the least. He smirked as he watched Kagome push her way past the guests, eyes scanning the area and calling out above the noise. She didn't know it, but she was coming closer and closer to his grasp. 'About time.'

"Inuyasha!" She called yet again.

Having gone through the huge crowd of people, she rapped her fingers impatiently on the wall of the building. Somehow it seemed the hanyou only showed up when it suited him. She turned to walk off in another direction, but gasped as she was gripped around the wrist and pulled backwards around a corner. She let out a small yelp of surprise as another hand came on her shoulder to turn her around and into the darkness, "Not so fast, wench."

_Barse rangini kaliyan hai mehki bhini bhini_

_Baje mann mein halke halke shehnaiya re_

_Jitne hai tare aanchal mein aa gaya sare_

_Dil ne jaise hi li angadayee re_

Though she hadn't seen him, the sudden presence of recognizable lips on hers told her it was the hanyou she was looking for. Inuyasha pulled her closer to him with one hand on her waist and the other at her neck. She giggled tenderly. For someone as gruff as Inuyasha, he certainly liked to kiss. She had to force herself to pull away from him. "Inuyasha… the monk is going to bless Miroku-sama and Sango-chan. We should be there."

"Keh! Who the fuck cares!" He lowered his lips to hers once more.

"But… they're our… friends…" she murmured between kisses, "It's rude to… ditch them."

"Oh please! You owe me, wench."

As his lips locked with hers once more, she peeked out to see that the blessing was already taking place. The crowd was watching as Miroku and Sango stood facing each other as the monk babbled on drunkenly. But Inuyasha hadn't a care in the world at that moment, so long as the girl of a thousand pleasures was there locked in his embrace. Some unknown longing quickly possessed him over the past weeks. Some odd desire he never much expected from falling in love, and which he had not the strength to push away now. It was the mere presence of her skin and the touch of her lips that swelled up his soul. It alone quelled any fear, anger, even boredom harboring his thoughts. As though she could uproot the blood from his flesh and claim it with simple soft touches.

_Tu jo aayee sajhke mehndi rajke_

_Chal bajke, Oh Soniye_

_Dil kit no ka khaye dhajke, Oh Soniye_

How she managed to break away from him, he couldn't even begin to comprehend. All he knew what that when he opened his eyes, she was retreating into the crowd, looking rather irritated, perhaps because their little romantic rendezvous had resulted in missing Miroku's master's blessing on the new bride and groom. But dear Inuyasha wouldn't have considered that. He called out to her in frustration, "Come back here, wench! I ain't done yet!"

He gave chase, or however much he could, which wasn't much considering the herd of people he had to practically burrow through. He growled lightly as he finally caught sight of her, making her way through the crowd with much more ease than himself. How very typical, that when he needed her she just happened to want to do something else. 'Stupid wench,' he muttered in thought.

And when she turned back to glance at him, a glorious smile emboldened her features, catching him off guard.

_Jind maahi ve. Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

_Everybody sing: Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

_Jind maahi ve. Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

_Everybody sing: Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

Even through the swarm of sounds he could hear her pleasant laughter. Soft, but no less powerful than anything, he stared at her in confusion. She glanced back at him every few seconds, before trekking once again through crowds of people. It finally occurred to him, 'She wants me to follow…'

Intrigued, though still confused, he followed towards her. When she had escaped behind the mass of party guests, she ran behind the nearby alcove. Towards the beach? She couldn't have been abandoning the party. He smirked, 'Really thinks I'm her damn puppy, doesn't she.'

When he got past the crowd, it was no hard chore to go after her, even after she hid behind a rock. With his demonic speed, he was able to catch sight of her just as she ducked down. And if that wasn't enough, the sand footsteps leading up to her were a dead give-away. He didn't even slow as he maneuvered from the other side of the rock to grab onto her. She yelped as his hands grasped her forearm, and she pulled them both out into the open sands as she erupted into a fit of giggles. He couldn't remember seeing her so happy before, and it was that which grew him in to kiss her once more.

Sweet… so very sweet. With the smell, the taste of grapes… of fruit and flowers. His kisses pleaded with her to release all her soul to him. She never faltered. Not once. And as their souls found each other once again, so did Miroku reach out for his wife's hand. She obliged, and they looked into each other's eyes for their first dance.

_Chanhda, meri chanda. Tujhe kaise mein yeh samjhaoon_

_Mujhe lagti hai tu kitni pyaari re_

Sango blushed as Miroku's eyes scanned over her features a thousand times over. This time, it seemed such an innocent thing for him to do. For a moment did she bow her head before he tilted her face back up by the chin. His smile was so pure; he was no longer the lecher she had grown to accept. Though surely that pervert was still in there somewhere, this night was for Sango, and at least for tonight, the mature and beautiful side of her houshi shined through and through.

_Mujhe lagti hai tu kitni pyarri re_

Kagome broke away from Inuyasha's lips so she could pant for breath, and looked to him with bright eyes. "Be careful, Inuyasha. You're going to make me dizzy with all this."

_Khusiyan jitni hai sab jitni hai sab dhoondh ke laoon_

_Teri doli ke sang kar do sari re_

His eyebrow crooked to one side, and she knew immediately what he was considering. Sure enough, to test his new theory of punishment for leaving him in the dust before, he hoisted her up by the waist, and spun round and round as fast as he could. The result wasn't what he expected, for she squealed with unrequited joy. However, even after realizing that making her dizzy wouldn't make her sorry for what she did, he dared not stop. The sound of her laughter was too beautiful for him to let go.

As they spun themselves on the beach, so did Miroku and Sango spin between the crowds of watchful eyes. Although Inuyasha and Kagome were missing the first dance, they didn't much care at the moment. Soon, a huge smile broke onto Inuyasha's face and though he tried to hold it back, a small giggle did escape his lips.

_Teri doli ke sang kar do sari re_

A push on his shoulders told him it was time to put her down. As he set her back on the sand, she ran a hand through his hair and gazed at him lovingly. He blushed pink and tried to turn his face away from her so she wouldn't see just what an effect she had on him. But his shyness only caused her to smile more. To see him with her now, smiling, even laughing slightly, wanting to be with her, was beyond her wildest imagination. They said that relationships usually started out this way, but how she prayed that it wouldn't be leveling out any time soon.

Her fingers lightly caressed his cheek, opening the obscure trenches in the contours of his face. The muscles loosened beneath her, try as he might to prove to her that he was in control. He looked upon her, his Kagome, face illustrated with drops of Jupiter as she smiled. The never-ending smiles, and the moments like these, bless them all. Within the darkness of time and space, earth would not dawn if they were without each other. No matter what ambiguities faced the insecure hanyou in this new and strange relationship and behavior, when the sun rose, he would still be hers. Just as she would still be his.

"We really should return to the party, okay?" She remarked, sounding more like an uneasy question than a statement.

He reluctantly nodded, and let her leave his grasp to run back to the others.

_Tu jo aayee sajhke mehndi rajke_

_Chal bajke, Oh Soniye_

_Dil kit no ka khaye dhajke, Oh Soniye_

Kagome was first to return, followed by Inuyasha. But Inuyasha did not follow her into the crowd along with Kagome. Unfortunately, the action gave Kagome a curious idea. "Don't tell me you're afraid of dancing, Inuyasha."

"I don't dance," he replied in an unsporting manner.

True, but perhaps not the smartest reply, for it gave Kagome a strange, and perhaps even a horrid idea. "Come on, Inuyasha. Dance with me! It's easy. Watch."

_Jind maahi ve. Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

_Everybody sing: Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

_Jind maahi ve. Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

_Everybody sing: Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

To give a quick demonstration, she joined Sango and a few other girls and began dancing along with them. Inuyasha shook his head as he smiled. Even if he did consider the whole thing to be completely childish, Kagome sure looked happy.

But his attitude changed quickly as Kagome stopped dancing and approached him. He looked wide-eyed as she grabbed onto his arm and began pulling him towards the dance floor. "What the hell?"

_Tere maathe jhumar damke _

_Tere kanno baali chamke hai Re_

_Maahi Ve_

He tried to pull away from her, but she refused to give up. She made her way through the crowd towards the center of the dancing area, where he wouldn't be able to get away so easily. "Kagome, I ain't doing it."

_Tere haatho kangana khanke_

_Tere pairo payal chance hai re_

_Maahi Ve_

"Oh, come on, Inuyasha. You don't have to be good at it to do it."

When they reached her destination, she turned towards him again. He crossed his arms and scowled at her as she tried to pry them open. He said, "It's so stupid."

She sighed in frustration, "Argh! Can't you just be reasonable for once? We're at a party if you haven't noticed."

"No, forget about it!"

She put her hands on her hips for a moment. He could tell she was trying hard to figure out a way to tackle this issue.

_Naino se bole. Rabba rabba_

_Mann mein dole. Rabba rabba_

_Amrut ghole. Rabba rabba_

_Oh, soniye. _

Kagome tried once more to pry open his arms, but failed once again. "And what's so wrong about dancing with me?"

"It's pointless. Pointless and stupid."

"Inuyasha…"

"Wench…"

She turned her cheek and held her chin up high. "Well, if you're afraid, you should have just said so."

_Jind maahi ve. Jind maahi ve. Jind maahi ve._

As she walked away from him, not a quarter of the way across the dance floor, she felt something clasp her wrist. Just as quickly, she was hauled backwards and into the hanyou's arms. She gasped slightly as she looked up into his amber eyes, full of determination and a whole lot of annoyance. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off but his harsh-toned voice. "'Afraid' this, wench!"

_Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

_Everybody sing: Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

_Jind maahi ve. Soni…_

Kagome gasped once more as she felt herself being pulled through the gentle air. She barely registered his hands on her body nor the movement of her feet as she fell in step with him. It wasn't until his palm came up to caress her cheek for but a moment when she finally realized… that Inuyasha was dancing with her.

Her smile grew and grew as she heard in the distance her friends hollering and cheering them on. Before she knew it, practically everyone around her seemed to be encouraging them. He lifted one of her arms into the air and spun her. Once, twice, three times, four times, five times, six times.

…_soni. Aaja maahi ve._

_Everybody sing: Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve. _

It may have only lasted for a few seconds, it may even have been somewhat sloppy, but when he stopped spinning her and she collided with his chest, Kagome looked up at him with the most adoring eyes imaginable. He glared back, "Afraid? Keh!"

Kagome didn't wait to hear anymore and she kissed him again. It was chaste, simple, just letting him know how grateful she was to have him there with her.

_Jind maahi ve. Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

Miroku and Sango, Shippou and Kirara, Kaede and the old monk, all waved at Kagome and Inuyasha from the other side of the dance floor.

_Everybody sing: Soni, soni. Aaja maahi ve._

'I win,' thought Inuyasha.

'I win,' thought Kagome.

To be continued…

……… **Wow, Inuyasha… dancing. Try to wrap your head around that little number, cause I'm laughing my head off just thinking about it. If it seems so totally out of character, I'm sorry. I just thought it was so funny to think about, I couldn't resist. **

**So, yeah, lots of cuteness. Hope you liked it. If you did or didn't, I don't care, just respond please. I'd like to know how I'm doing and if you think I can improve at all. **

**Okay, so now there's the issue of updates. With my other stories, I've usually been able to update at least a few times per week, but now that I'm back in college, it's a bit of an issue. I'm struggling to get all my work done, and am trying to arrange for me to study in Spain next year. Therefore, I am sorry to say, the updates will be kinda unpredictable. During school breaks, I'll be able to update more often, but otherwise, I have to put my schoolwork first. I hope you'll be patient with me, and I promise I'll try my best to make time for this story. **

**Please respond, maahi ve! **


	2. Ch 2: The Dancing Hanyou

**Back sooner than I expected! I was just so happy that I got so many reviews for the first chapter that I just had to thank you for it! So, I know that last chapter Inuyasha was completely OOC, but as I'm beginning to establish in this chapter, it does have a purpose. Not a huge one, but a purpose. No, I didn't just do it because it would be funny as hell to see him dancing. Anyways, here's the next chapter. Thank you all so much for reviewing, and please continue to do so, because I love it. **

Chapter 2: The Dancing Hanyou

"No!"

"I just want to know how…"

"No!"

"I'm just curious. It is rather unusual, after all. If you just open up…"

"Fuck no!"

Miroku leaned against the tree and loomed over where the hanyou and miko were sitting, still arguing. "Your relationship will get nowhere if it's this one-sided. You know what they say," he began giggling, "It takes two to tango."

"Temee!" Inuyasha turned with fists clenched, but the monk had already evaded the chance of an immediate beating.

The monk's smirks only proved to escalate the hanyou's frustration. He should have known that dancing with Kagome would come back to bite him, even if it was under ten seconds. Now, everyone was either poking fun at him or pressing him for explanations. For the most part, he had been successful in running away from them whenever they did it, but there was the little problem of a certain trouble-making miko that kept him always within close range. He swore he would die from humiliation.

Shippou made his appearance, "Dinner's ready, you guys. Why don't you 'shimmy' on down to the fireplace."

Miroku and Shippou exploded once again into uncontrollable laughter as Inuyasha snarled at them once again. "You bastards! I'll kill you!"

He got to his feet as the others disappeared over the hill, but he didn't make it more than a step. "Osuwari."

"Agh! Wench!"

Kagome tried to suppress the giggles to no avail. "You know, they're only laughing because they know it gets to you."

"You!" He pointed a menacing finger at her from the ground, "You have no soul!"

Given his position, she didn't take the words to heart. Though he attempted to pull his chest off the ground again, he knew full well the spell would not release him for a few more moments. Any accusation he could make now just seem comical. All he could do for now was glare at the girl, "First you fucking trick me into dancing. Now because of that, no one will leave me the hell alone!"

His scowl didn't faze her. Not in the least. "Well perhaps I would be more sympathetic if you told me how in the world you learned to dance."

He wrinkled his nose, looking rather pompous, "Keh! Why is it so damn important? I ain't never doing it again. You can be sure of that."

"You know I'm not just going to let this go, Inuyasha. Might as well tell me. I promise I won't let them tease you anymore if you do."

A few more moments and the spell wore off, but Inuyasha didn't get up just yet. With his cheek still pressed against the dirt, he pondered if it was really worth telling her about. Something like this… it just seemed too dear to his heart to be exposed. Then again, he knew better than anyone that he couldn't keep a secret from Kagome forever. Maybe if he just got it over and done with…

She kept her gaze on him and he pulled himself up into a sitting position once more. His eyes didn't meet hers. He stared at the ground where he had been lying, as though it were his one and only companion. Though his melancholy demeanor disturbed her, she hadn't anticipated what his answer would be. "It was my mother."

Her smile, curious and innocent, suddenly faltered. He didn't see it, but he sure felt it hanging in the air. The young miko brought a hand to her face, fingers barely touching her lips. She murmured back, "Your mother?"

He nodded, and she felt her heart sink. How could she have been so stupid? She knew what a sad past her hanyou had. She knew, and she pushed him to tell her about the most dear, most painful memory. Inuyasha never talked about his mother. And although he tried to hide it from the world, Kagome knew that her death still ate away at him. It was in his character to hold it all inside, and there were times when Kagome wondered if he had ever even had a good cry about it. How could she possibly add to that weight in his heart?

"Inuyasha… I…" she stammered, "I'm so sorry… I-I shouldn't have said anything. We had no right…"

She turned her body away from him and wrung her hands nervously beneath her chin, trying in earnest to cleanse her hands from guilt. "… Oh, how could I have been so stupid?"

She gasped lightly as Inuyasha's clawed hand came out to pry one of her hands away. Quickly taking her palm into his, he squeezed gently as though she was the one in need of comforting rather than him. "It's okay," he replied softly.

She shifted back towards him, eying their clasped hands for a moment before gazing back into his eyes. No, it wasn't okay. Her ears could just pick up the sound of him gulping, and the chaos that soared past his eyes told her he was fighting against something immortal. Some malice that he wouldn't allow to die though it tore through him. He leaned back against the tree and caressed her knuckles with his palm as he shook his head in a kind of nostalgic manner. Staring at the empty autumn sky, he smiled, "I don't know what the hell she was thinking. She didn't even teach me much. Just enough to pass the time. I suppose she thought it would be good for me to know to be around people. Keh! Like I was really gonna be invited to a bunch of parties."

He was trying to laugh, forcing a smile for her benefit and hers alone. She didn't buy it. She couldn't remember hearing a true laugh from him. The realization of that chipped away at her all the more. There was such pain in his eyes. So much it seemed to billow from him like smoke. How long since he had laughed or cried? How long had he kept it locked inside? She dared to ask, "You really miss her, don't you?"

His answer was quick and sharp, "Missing would be pointless."

An uncomfortable silence followed. Inuyasha was hoping they could just forget about it at that, but Kagome couldn't let go. Her other hand came back to toy with the white hair splayed out on his shoulders. She eyed the task with too much attention, and the hanyou found himself worried about what she was thinking of. She glanced up and him again and opened her mouth to speak, but stopped short when she saw the look of worry in his eyes. No. She couldn't. What she would do was smile weakly for him and sigh, "I suppose you're right."

That voice, that look, those eyes… he swore he should just bury himself. After everything that had happened, it could only mean one thing. 'Damnit! Here I am, sulking about someone who died years ago. Kagome didn't just lose her mother. She also lost her brother, her grandfather, her friends… hell, she lost her whole life and future because of me. She doesn't deserve any of it. It's just so fucking unfair."

Her gaze lingered on his hair. The white strands that she has chosen long ago. They were hers now, weren't they? Hers to see? Hers to touch? Inuyasha was more beautiful then he could ever understand. He couldn't know just how many times she had stared at him in wonder, in absolutely awe of his strength and his passion, and most of all the sudden appearances of his heart. If she had been his mother, wouldn't she have loved his hair too? Loved everything about him? Kagome understood sacrifice. She had made more of them than most people she knew or heard of. And thinking that Izayoi had given up everything for her son, she couldn't help but grin again. If Izayoi did it, then Kagome wasn't the only one to have loved Inuyasha to the ends of the earth.

But when she suddenly smiled at him brightly again, he became confused. She had to have been in pain. But she wasn't even crying about it? He'd seen her cry about it before. What made now any different? Her eyes sparkled as she fiddled with his hair, "Then I suppose I have your mother to thank for the dance."

Her voice was sweet, angelic as he had always known her to be. He smirked, "Keh! Don't forget I'm the one who did it."

She let out a breathy laugh, "I know… and you know what?"

"What?"

She brought her face up closer to him as her hand maneuvered to his neck. Capturing him in a deep kiss, he instantly forgot his worries. He settled into the feeling of it as gently as mist. The striking face of evening reproached him for his sorrows, replaced the torn wound with a part of himself to be filled by her. Even under the mocking night sky soon to come, he shouldn't fear. Kagome was the one who would show him the morning.

How she managed to be stronger than him, he would never know. It was in her right to be sad. Shouldn't she be? Couldn't she be? After everything she held dear was taken from her? It confused him greatly. He had seen her cry countless times, sometimes for the smallest of things. To think that she could somehow keep from falling apart… how did she do it?

When they broke away from each other, she smiled to see his eyes filled with hope again. If she was good for only doing that, it would have been enough for her. "Thank you."

He seemed to be in a trance for a few moments, before he blushed and turned away, "Keh!"

They were interrupted by the sound of something shattering… a pot… then a voice, "Oh my God!"

'Sango…'

Inuyasha and Kagome got up as quickly as they could. As they ran back towards the camp on the other side of the hill, Inuyasha began to draw his sword. But he halted on the peak, then held out an arm to stop Kagome as she came behind him. She collided with his arm in a hard grunt, then sent a glare his way, which he did not care to see. They looked out, beyond their camp, to the fields of wheat. They could see Miroku and Shippou, still as rock as they stared, not even daring to breathe. They could see Sango, hands shaking, skin pale. She took a few steps, slowly, and then stopped. She wouldn't dare trust herself. Could she even keep herself standing?

Inuyasha sniffed the air, and Kagome watched as his eyes widened. Youkai? Human? She tugged on his sleeve to hoist herself up, trying to catch a glimpse of what he was seeing. "Inuyasha, what is it?"

He shook his head in dismay, "It can't be."

"What?" she asked, just before she spotted who he had seen, and gasped.

All she could do was whisper, "Oh my God."

The short figure in the fields came closer and closer. Stopping as he reached the opening at the end, he stared long and hard at the exterminator woman. A few more moments longer, and then, she had found her strength. Sango sprang forward, running as though trying to defy fate. Running to escape from herself, and this cruel dream that would steal away from her at any moment. She reached him, threw her arms around him as she fell to her knees; sobbed out loud into the valley as she squeezed him closer.

Everyone else relaxed, and smiled. As Inuyasha re-sheathed his sword, Kagome let a few tears fall… happy tears. The hanyou placed his hand on her back as he watched on. She cried for this. Despite his attitude for the behavior, Inuyasha didn't blame her for it.

Sango's tears dampened his uniform quickly, and had barely enough time to calm down before his voice sent another wave of emotion through her, "I remember… Aneue."

To be continued…

**So, I generally want to make the chapters about this long so that I have enough time to edit, and I know that by the end of Butterfly Keeper, I was up to twenty pages, so I guess I kinda spoiled you. Unless I get into a situation where I won't be able to write again for a loooong time, I doubt I'll be making another chapter that long. I was seriously completely exhausted after finishing Butterfly Keeper. If the fates are nice to me, I may be able to get in a chapter twice as long now and then, but I can't promise anything. **

**So, yeah, some cuteness. Next chapter will get interesting. Another twist! Please respond, and I'll love you foreva. **

**HelikaAkileh: **Ain't so much the pressure I get from people. It's more that between all the work, I'm just so damn tired all the time, I can't think romantic thoughts, which I feel like I need to write well. But I think about this fic everyday, so in a way, I'm always doing something with it. Thanks for the patience and support. (hugs)  
**kyocat: **Ya know, I didn't consider that one, but you're right. Curse my melodramatic ways! Well, thanks a bunch. (hugs)  
**Lacey Beans: **Haha… blonde moment. Took a few seconds for me to realize what TBK meant. Thanks a lot. (hugs)  
**Princess of stars: **Me: Hmm, is that how you spell it? Linguistics brain: beginning. Me: Why? Linguistics brain: What do you mean, 'why'? Me: Well, where'd the extra 'n' come from? What's the allomorphy behind that one? Linguistics brain: Aren't you supposed to be thanking a certain reviewer? Me: Ah! …… Sorry I was late. Thank you! (hugs) …. (I'm such a geek).  
**Toxic Panda: **Well, it isn't my first InuKag fic, but thanks all the same. (hugs) P.S: I love pandas!  
**kawaiibritt: **Aaah… okay… Thanks for the patience!... Don't kill me! … I have more… (hugs)  
**Kawaii-CherryWolf: **Wow, I really have been working too hard. I think you love linguistics too much when you try to analysis the word 'fluffy'. Ach! What am I saying? I'm so odd! I love fluff! Thank you a lot. (hugs)  
**Star+Robin: **I'm absolutely in love with Kal Ho Naa Ho, and I'm actually thinking of using the plot line to create another fic sometime. I highly recommend it, and the song. It was like my summer theme! (hugs)  
**Jenn-silent breed: **Yeah, I know it was. Don't hate me, please. I just loved the thought of him dancing. Oh well! Thanks for coming back! (hugs)  
**Rachynn: **Kinda OOC? I'd say completely OOC, but thanks for being nice about it. But hopefully I'll make up for it later. (hugs)  
**trekker4life: **The next best horror movie! Dun dun dun! (hugs)  
**LiLDoggieDemon: **Both, actually. They may have finally gotten together, but I never believe that staying in love is that simple. There will be conflict, and most definitely happily-ever-afters. (hugs)  
**srg1: **Well I'm glad you were looking forward to the story. Reading really is the best medicine, I think. Hope you're feeling better. (hugs)  
**issa-malv: **It's really good to hear that, cause I'm always thinking about it and wondering whether I need to do better. Awful habit. But knowing that it's turning out good makes me feel fantastic. (hugs)  
**Tairoru: **I was wondering myself. I was planning on waiting until I had a few more chapters lined up, but I was just so excited about it, I couldn't bear to wait. Thanks for enjoying it. (hugs)  
**Kamira: **(gasps) You took my 'toodles' and my 'hugs'? But I'm the cuddle whore! You can't have them for free……… Okay, so maybe you can. (hugs)  
**InuKagome: **You know those dancing Santa dolls they have in some places? Wouldn't it be just awesome to have an Inuyasha one? I swear, if I knew how to make things, I would do it. It'd be great merchandizing, I think. (calls Warner Bros.) Damn! (hugs)  
**nekoxlove: **Oh, the story will definitely be finished. I'd never forgive myself if I just let this story go. It's more a question of when it will be done. (hugs)  
**butthead24: **I LOVE YOU TOO… but my heart belongs to Inuyasha. Sorry. Oh, whatever shall I do? Teehee! (hugs)  
**nooneluvsme: **No, he doesn't dance, and especially doesn't giggle. But that's what makes it so deliciously scary! Run away! I'm so glad you're enjoying my story. And I'll try not to haunt you with Inuyasha's… giggling. (shivers and hugs)

**I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH!**


	3. Ch 3: Alliance

**Ugh! What's this now? I can't respond to people in the chapters anymore? As of Nov 21st, looks like I can't respond to your reviews here anymore. However, I will be doing that new 'reply' thing they set up, so I'll still be telling you how much I love you. No worries! **

Chapter 3: Alliance

"I swear, sometimes I wonder if she's _trying_ to avoid me," the monk groaned.

"Why would that be a surprise? Done it before, hasn't she?" Inuyasha stated, leaning against the tree with arms behind his head.

He whined, "Even so… we are married. I have husbandly duties to attend to."

Kagome shook her head, "What you consider 'husbandly duties' leaves much to be desired."

Miroku sighed and leaned back on his elbows. As a married man, he didn't seem too different than the old lecherous monk. But having sworn off any forms of groping, flirting, and, in his mind, simply looking at other women, the sexual repression was already getting to him. "Don't get me wrong. I'm glad Kohaku is back. It's just that I was assuming a honeymoon was supposed to take place right after the wedding. Any longer and Sango may say no to the whole thing."

"I'm sure she wouldn't do that, Miroku-sama. I think she's still adjusting to the idea that he's back. She must be so worried about him."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. He didn't think it mattered what Kagome said to the monk. Miroku only had one thing on his mind. So long as he could last until they were far enough away for Inuyasha not to hear or see them, it didn't matter. It was rather odd though that the honeymoon had been delayed for almost a week. With the sudden appearance of Kohaku, Sango had done nothing but watch over him, talk to him, and make sure he was okay. He was sure the poor boy felt rather coddled. But he could sense Sango's worry. It somewhat worried him, too. If the shard was no longer in Kohaku's back, then it must have been removed. That he was still alive and well made no sense at all. And whoever had taken it out hadn't yet appeared to claim the rest. There had to be a few still out there. They never did find Naraku's pieces.

The exterminator entered the camp site once again, followed by Kohaku. "Kagome-chan," she called.

"Nani?"

"Can I talk to you in private for a moment?"

"No problem," the miko replied as she got to her feet.

Not two steps and the girls suddenly became aware of the men hovering just behind them. They each turned around. If their boys weren't the perfect examples of dogs following the masters, they didn't know what was. Sango grimaced and half-shouted, "Note the word 'private' in my last sentence."

They didn't budge, looking as though Sango spoke another language. Kagome continued for Sango and waved her hands at Inuyasha and Miroku, "Go on. Shoo, shoo."

Finally adhering to their orders, they each sulked back to their spots beneath the tree. The two girls glanced at each other for a moment before laughing. "I swear, they are the biggest babies in the world," Sango chuckled.

"More like biggest puppies. With any luck, maybe we can get them to roll over and play dead," Kagome laughed.

It had been unusual enough that Inuyasha was still hesitant to let Kagome out of his sight for very long, even after Naraku's defeat. That Miroku had picked up the trait when it came to Sango was testament of either too much male-bonding between monk and hanyou, or the sexual repression built up from the lack of a honeymoon. They could only hope that Shippou didn't pick it up, too. Kagome noticed, the little kitsune already had his eyes focused on the little village girls. And with his entertaining fox-like tricks, he already had the means to woo any of them.

As Kagome followed her friend around the hut, she couldn't help but notice the feeling of happiness completely saturating her. She hadn't known Sango before her brother was taken. Looking back, she could tell that there had been something missing in those eyes, something only her brother could fill. She smiled to herself. "Sango-chan. How is Kohaku-kun doing?"

The exterminator's face lit up even more, "It's amazing. A part of me really believed all this time that he would never return to me, not like he used to be…"

They stopped and Sango turned to face her friend, "… But seeing him now, Kagome-chan, it's like Naraku never existed for him. Like he was always that innocent kid unable to catch Kirara. And yet… I know he's grown so much, too. He really has taken care of himself, even when serving Naraku. I don't know whether to think of him as a boy or as a man now. I suppose all that really matters is that he's healthy and happy."

Kagome nodded, "That's right. And as long as he's around the people who love him, perhaps there are some memories of Naraku that can't even touch him now."

"That's all I ask for."

"Sango-chan, does Kohaku-kun remember anything about what happened to Naraku and the jewel shard?" Kagome asked curiously.

"How the jewel shard left his body without killing him? No. All he remembers was when his memories came back to him, and how one morning, he just woke up and couldn't feel the shard in his body anymore," she sighed, "I've wondered myself how he's managed to stay alive. Whoever removed that shard must have known how to without killing him. As to why someone wicked enough to steal a jewel shard would knowingly spare the life of a child, it is beyond anything I could have imagined…"

Sango placed a pleading hand on Kagome's arm. "Listen, do you think you could take care of Kohaku for me while I'm gone? Since everything that's happened, I'm still a little uneasy about leaving him alone."

Kagome's thoughts returned to the sulking monk on the other side of the hut, "You mean…?"

"Yeah, I know the delay was unusual. But Kohaku seems fine enough for me to finally go on that honeymoon. I'm sure houshi-sama must be going out of his mind," she laughed, "Just as long as my brother is taken care of..."

Kagome nodded, "No problem, Sango-chan. Your brother will be in good hands."

"Arigato. Now I just need to fetch my husband."

They headed back to the others. Sango stopped in front of Miroku. "You ready to go yet?"

"Huh?" He looked up, "But what about…"

"It'll be fine. I asked Kagome-chan to look after him while we're gone. That is… unless you're not feeling up to it."

"No! I mean, yes! I mean… Let's go," Miroku stammered.

Kagome shook her head as the monk got to his feet, 'Like dogs…'

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Under the unless veil of darkness, the presence of sunlight over the mountains stole her dreams away.

She had it all, once. Born with nothing, from nothing, but she had found everything. And perhaps it was the cruelest of all for fate to have taken it away when she had barely had the chance to spread her wings. Was she made for imprisonment? She always told herself there was something more to her life than death. In her life, there could have simply been more life. And this existence… it wasn't so. She didn't know, not anymore.

Always more sunrises. To her, they were sickeningly beautiful. Mocking things. She scowled at them. Maybe it would have been better to die. Was that not in a sense the ultimate freedom? Perhaps, but she was unwilling. To walk down that path would mean no turning back, no life, no anything. At least here, in the world of the living, she had a fraction of hope. That single ember of hope was the only thing even close to resembling a soul. It wanted freedom, and more importantly, it wanted the freedom to live… not to die.

What choice did the wind sorceress have? It meant her freedom. There was nothing she could have done if she wanted to live. What choice did the wind sorceress have?

She recalled well the rediscovery of slavery. She recalled well the day her existence took a different, yet frightfully similar course. Naraku had died, but his magic hadn't left. Not really. Not at all.

'_No use in letting the shards stay here. Some measly youkai would just cause trouble if they got a hold of them. At least I'll be able to put them to some good use,' she thought as she slid the door shut behind her, 'After all, I've earned it for all those times I put up with Naraku's orders.'_

_What a surprise to discover that Naraku hadn't taken the Shikon shards into his last battle. Either very clever or very stupid. It didn't matter to Kagura. She finally reached the door to the room where she knew the shards were kept. The presence of the palace still chilled her to the bone. She wouldn't be staying long. _

_The door slid open. As she entered, she could see the shards winking at her from their stand, begging her to take them. She smirked. Even if not a whole jewel, the pieces would serve her well enough. Kagura reached out her hand, but halted with a slight gasp. It wasn't that there was one shard she couldn't account for that drew her concern. One of them caught her attention. Unlike the others, this one was soaked in blood. Thanks to her demonic sense of smell, she determined the owner immediately, "Kohaku?"_

_If the shard was out of his back, the poor boy must be dead. Like herself, she knew Kohaku had earned for his freedom. He had betrayed Naraku a few times, and it was a miracle he was allowed to live this long. So much for that. She frowned at the realization, and then felt her body tense up. If the shard was taken out, how did it end up here? _

"_Confused yet, Kagura?"_

_She spun around, releasing a sharp gasp as she finally realized the presence of another being in the room. How had she not smelled him before? She saw him sitting within shadow, and something about him confused her. He was… injured? There was healing gashes on his skin, covered in blood-soaked bandages. From the look in his eyes, he seemed to be in a lot of pain. His condition brought Kagura to ease again, "Kokuei, you're still alive. Though barely, I can see."_

_His wicked smirk showed no signs of pain. In fact it was horrifically happy. "Naraku may have abandoned me. Naraku may have died, but unlike you, I'm able to take control of my own destiny."_

_Kagura snarled at him, "You're pretty pompous for a mere clone."_

_He shrugged, "Perhaps, but even a hanyou's better-half is able to rule you."_

"_Pardon?" She took out her fan to hold it menacingly against her shoulder, "And how do you plan to do that?"_

"_You will serve me, Kagura. I'm taking over."_

_She stared at him with light interest, before stating bluntly, "No."_

_He chuckled, "You don't seem to comprehend the truth, Kagura. If I am able to control my life, who is to say that I can't control yours? Who is to say that I can't control the wind?"_

_Kagura screamed, clutched her chest as an unspeakable pain sprung through her body. Her nails dug into her skin, as thought that might somehow tare away the agony. It lasted so long, she lost the strength to stand, and she fell to her knees before the dark hanyou. When the pain died away, a new realization dawned on her. She couldn't feel her heart beating._

_Looking up, she saw what she thought she never would have to see again. Naraku's creation, clearly just managing to survive, held Kagura's heart in his palm. "You! How?"_

_He did not answer, and he didn't need to. The door opened behind them, and another figure stepped inside. Kagura recognized the scent right away. She turned slightly to look up at the pale face, accentuated by midnight black hair. Not so much a zombie as a person lacking any real life in her aura, her eerie presence was well-known to the wind sorceress, for she could always feel the air around her saturated with malice. "Kikyo…"_

To be continued…

**Dun, dun, dun! Wow, this feels more like a soap opera every second. Hurray! Haha, don't worry. I won't like make them all family members or give one an unheard of disease. Unless…… no, no, no! It'll all be good. Please respond, everybody. And I'll try out this 'reply' thing to thank you. (hugs) to everyone for now! **


	4. Ch 4: My Dream

**Okay… let me just say right now, for the record, how totally utterly completely overjoyed that I have 53 reviews after only 3 chapters. It is really beyond my wildest expectations for this story. I can't tell you how good this makes me feel. It only inspires me more to do my best for your sakes as well as my own.**

Chapter 4: My Dream

With the valley awash in the splendor of the autumn skies, Kagome and Kohaku watched as Kirara's fiery tale slowly faded into the distance, until it became a mere dancing flicker upon the trees, until it disappeared behind the mountains. As much a trusty steed to the monk and exterminator as any horse, with Kirara's participation Kagome felt awed by the pure fairy-tale quality of this honeymoon trip. However, once the travelers were out of sight, the miko did notice Kohaku wringing his hands together. Without Sango or Kirara, there wasn't anyone around he was really familiar with. She averted her eyes to the kitsune, who looked back with the same open green eyes as always. She nodded towards Kohaku and Shippou took his cue.

"Come on, Kohaku. I'll introduce you to the villagers."

Shippou motioned for the boy to follow. For a moment, he glanced back at Kagome, as though silently asking for permission. She frowned for but a moment, then nodded her head in agreement. As the two disappeared into the village, Kagome sighed. Perhaps the poor boy had forgotten how to be a child. Then again, she couldn't help but smile when she remembered how blessed they were to have the essence of childhood in the kitsune.

But even that was fading fast. She didn't doubt for a moment that the first villagers Shippou would introduce were the little girls. She made a mental note to keep a close eye on any quality time between the little one and the lecher.

"Finally… That Shippou was giving me such a headache," Inuyasha's voice interrupted her thoughts, "Do you know how many questions he asked me? I couldn't stop him. I'll kill the monk next time I see him for putting me in that position."

'Uh oh,' Kagome wondered hesitantly, "What did Miroku-sama do?"

"All I know is that Shippou just wants to know about girls, girls, girls and there's only one lecher around who could put those thoughts in his head."

She giggled, then sighed. No more little Shippou. Who would she take care of now?

The flap of drying fabric in the wind caught her attention. She looked towards the river below the hill, where the sheets were still hanging out to dry. She suddenly remembered all the chores still needing to be done. There would be more to do, what with Sango leaving for her honeymoon. As she began her descent down the hillside, an irritated voice called, "Oi, wench! Where do you think you're going?"

Kagome cocked an eyebrow as she looked back at Inuyasha, "Laundry."

"Keh! I don't think so. I'm tired."

"Huh?"

"I said I'm tired, wench."

"Well I ain't stopping you," she waved him off.

"Get back here, Kagome!"

"What do you need me for?" she called back with a hitch of frustration in her voice.

"I can't sleep without you here!" he shouted back.

Her face fell under his words. Hung from his lips like the drying sheets, she could not mistake the complex of childhood winking at her. His voiced seemed to have pitched up, and although it was still gruff, it sounded somewhat like a lark. Like an escaping breath of capriciousness. Might Inuyasha be still a child, if not in heart, even if Shippou and the seasons had already come of age? "Inuyasha…"

Seduced by the unusual tone in her voice, he caught her fanciful gaze, and blushed profusely. Even he had to admit that he had cornered himself on that one. But he knew enough about Kagome by now to know that if he came back with some rude comment, she wouldn't come to him. He fought against the urge to insult her with his obsessive desire to be by her side. "K-k-k-keh…"

It was hard, but it was enough. Kagome couldn't help but come to him as he beckoned so desperately, dragging her as would a riptide back to him, back to dying in the waters of his presence. She didn't utter as a sound as she sat down beside him, nor spared him a glance as she placed her head upon his lap. Though she tried to hide her smile by curling her hand in front of her mouth, he could see her eyes buck up before she closed them. He smirked, and followed her into slumber.

As she drifted off, the miko was smiling, 'If he still needs me, and I still need him… then we'll always take care of each other.'

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"_Inuyasha… Inuyasha…"_

"_What?"_

"_Close your eyes."_

"_What are you blabbering on about, wench? My eyes _are_ closed."_

"_You only think they are, baka." She giggled, and then pouted slightly, "If you don't close your eyes, then I won't be able to either. And then how will we be able to find each other? How will we ever be able to let go?" _

"_Huh? You make absolutely no sense."_

_She shifted in his lap, turned to kiss him sweetly. Never mind her odd words, he found he had more care for her affections than her riddles. Inuyasha conceded his heart to her in his return. She cradled it, treasured it. The throb that swayed his heart reached his fingertips and toes. No matter how hard he fought with this sudden altitude of his senses, his reaction was no different than the other kisses they had shared. If he fell time and time again with her into this world, how was it that he had not died yet? How could she continue to take him higher without killing him?_

_Her faint shudders encompassed him. If she was as enraptured as he was, perhaps she knew the words he could not speak. Maybe… if luck would have it. Were she to feel the same weakness in her bones, then Inuyasha never was truly alone. He never asked for her understanding, though she had given it to him a little bit more with every glance and kiss. All he really wanted was the chance to love her. At the end of his life, it would be the only thing that could bear him away. He wouldn't die without returning to her._

_When they parted, he smirked between his gasps for air. Her wiles to tame him never faltered. How she did it, how she moved him, he would never understand. "No sense at all, wench."_

_He pulled her against his chest. Her forehead pressed against his neck, and he could feel some strands of her hair fall down the collar of his haori, tickling his shoulder. When his hair fell over her head, as though it shielded her, he found himself curiously awed by the sight of their hair intertwining. It seemed to bloom around them. Somehow… it seemed familiar, yet not at all, at the same time._

_He glanced around the unusual spring season for a moment, remembering that it was fall when he went to sleep. "This must be a dream."_

_Her hot breath shocked his skin, "Is it a good dream, then?"_

"_Keh."_

_She smiled, "Tell me what you wish, Inuyasha."_

"_What?" Inuyasha wrinkled his forehead._

"_You heard me."_

_Her playful, yet dominating tone brought a smirk to his face. "You're not even gonna ask nicely?"_

"_Your dreams, they're mine as well. Why should I ask for what is already mine?"_

_He turned his head to place his chin on her hair, and let himself breath. Since this was a dream…_

"_Tell me. Just let go. Close your eyes and let go."_

_He sighed hard and stared up into the clouds. Is that what she really needed? For him to just close his eyes… and let go? In dreams, they say you understand things that you really don't understand. That when you wake up, some of your ideas will merely confuse you. The things Inuyasha understood as he held Kagome in his arms, he would not take to heart in his waking hours. In dreams, where his heart and mind became the most intelligent, maybe he could let go of whatever boundaries the physical world held for him. _

_The memories flashing before him could have been fake or real, but they all left him wanting one thing. "I guess… if I could wish for anything more than what I already have, it would be… for nothing more."_

"_Hm? How do you mean?"_

"_Sounds silly, I suppose. I don't know. Just… to have nothing else to do. No more youkai to fight, no more hateful humans, no more of these awful memories. Just… living my life the way I should. Not really having anything to do but be in this world…"_

_She sat up to look at him as he went on, "… I kept thinking that… if I could just get past where I am now, then maybe I'd have a chance at that. But something always seems to hold me back. Still," his eyes glazed over slightly, "I can't help but dream that I could make it happen someday. That maybe I'll never have to fight ever again."_

_He bowed his head, signaling that he was done with his piece. Kagome's hand upon his chin brought back his attention. She dipped her head in order to catch his gaze, smiled that big smile of hers, "You'd lose your mind. With no youkai to fight, you'd be bored to tears."_

"_Keh. It's only a dream."_

"_True, but who says there's anything wrong with dreams?" _

_She cupped her face with both hands. "Why can't you and I keep our childish hearts, and lose the memories still?"_

_With eyes as resplendent as the moon, she stilled his thoughts of doubt. The doubts that haunted him even in his slumber. Beneath the forces of nature that cursed his blood, he gave into the feeling that this human somehow understood everything about him. The earth-colored eyes told him so, commanded it be true. _

"_Let go."_

_He heard the words, but they played on stilled lips. It was as though she spoke with her mind. But it was all he had, before he felt reality pull him away from his spring into autumn, and into a world where he no longer understood his mind. _

………………………………………………………………………………………………

He begged his mind to take him under again. With every passing second, the logic of the dream spilled farther and farther away from him, and along with it, the memory itself. Though more than willing to ignore waking reality, with a body now ready to wake, the real world refused to leave him alone. Yet when he opened his eyes once more, he found not disappointment, but contentment. Kagome still lay asleep on his lap. From the sounds of her breathing, she was asleep.

For what lack of peace there was in Inuyasha's life, she made some for him. Not just in her actions or words, but in the purity that surrounded her. It loosened him more and more each time he watched her sleep. Any unreachable stars he could chase after seemed to fade away. It was Kagome, it was her way. It was his only drug. And the strident memories were instantly pushed aside.

With that, he left his dreams behind, and resumed to spend whatever precious time he had to watch over Kagome without worry. Though there was something, unconscious perhaps, that tugged at him lightly. Something deep within him singing out without words, thinking in the beats of a heart that for him and hers, someday, there would be rest.

To be continued…

**If some of the things seem just a little bit obscure in the dream, it's supposed to. That's what dreams do, after all. Okay, anyways… please review, as always. I'll see if I can update sooner this time. Finals are on Wednesday, so hopefully I'll have it up by next weekend. Bye all!**


	5. Ch 5: I Ponder You

Chapter 5: I Ponder You

Violence begets violence. Violence begets hate. Violence begets love. Was it really such a bad thing, if it could save her?

Her eyes watched the sun slowly break through the dead of night, sitting by the window of the palace washed in a sickeningly thick aura. Another morning. Such vibrant things. She hadn't had time for them… when she was alive. If there was one thing that death had taught her, it was that no one could ever respect life like the dead. Nor could anyone respect death like the dead.

Sometimes it didn't have to be so painful. Kikyo had been one of the lucky ones. A part if not all of a soul reclaimed, at least she was still able to help the villages. Her work had always given her purpose. She loved saving people. It made her feel important. Or maybe 'important' wasn't the right word. Perhaps 'powerful'? But she couldn't say there wasn't weakness in her. There was a time when she thought her work was all for not. There were always more youkai, more people dying, more war. Emotionally, it had been too much. Though she loved her work, she wanted freedom.

The hanyou Inuyasha was that and more.

Where there was once happiness, there was now agony at the thought of him. It was wrong that they were tricked. Wrong that she died. Wrong that they had been kept apart, and by her reincarnation, no less. 'Kagome… You may be somewhat of a priestess, but you'll never be me. You'll never take my place.'

She clenched her fists at her sides and looked to the floor. 'Inuyasha…'

"Now where have I seen this before?"

Her head shot up out of surprise, but she did not move beyond that. He was always quick about coming and going. Perhaps the most frightening thing about him was how he came without warning. She held her tongue. The being behind her with a dried up existence, with blackness, somehow had such presence wherever he roamed. Though normally reserved for the good, the one word she could use to describe his evil was 'magnificent'. Perhaps only someone as wicked as he could turn a good trait into something bad.

She could hear him coming closer, and when his breath caressed her ear, she cringed, "I remember this look about you well. The look of rejection. It doesn't do you justice."

"Unless you have something important to say, please leave me in peace," she bit out.

"Don't be so touchy, Kikyo," he hissed as his arms ran up and down her forearms, "After all, we both know what it is you want."

She tried to step away, but he pulled her back into his chest. His hands had a hard grip on her. The nails pierced her skin, though she did not cry. But Kokuei had managed to get a tiny whimper out of her. His malevolent voice filtered to her in hot waves, "Why wait for him when you could have something much much better?"

Kikyo felt her blood begin to boil. She clenched her teeth, "You consider yourself better?"

He chuckled, and wrapped his arms tightly around her as his cold lips lingered in her hair. She shuddered. This copy, this fake, was nothing like the hanyou she fell in love with. Though he looked like her Inuyasha, sounded like him, smelled like him, felt like him, the presence of his pseudo-soul wouldn't leave her alone. He squeezed her closer to him, "That's what I love about you. I've always wanted you, miko. You know I have. I know you have wanted me, as well. And you may have it now. I promise you, it will be an experience you won't soon forget."

Kokuei felt the heat of her purifying powers on his arms, but he did not move away. He smirked, "Think you can hurt me, Kikyo? Don't be a fool. If I destroy your replacement, don't you think I would destroy your hanyou as well? He's _bound_ to want revenge his one true love…"

"The girl is not my concern!" she interrupted, "But I will not let you have Inuyasha. His life belongs to me. I will win him back."

"You sound pretty confident… for a dead woman."

Kikyo grimaced and tried to focus more energy to her hands. Somehow it seemed to get harder and harder, knowing that Inuyasha wasn't coming to save her anymore, and never would again. Not really. Kokuei simply held tighter against her assaults. "That will do nothing, miko…"

He brushed his lips against her neck, "… The pain only excites me more."

Her face quivered under the outrage. But he did let go, and for that she was grateful. She turned around with the intent on fighting him, but he was already at the door. With one hand still resting on the opened door, he smirked back at her. The silver hair and golden eyes enveloped her with no hope, but instead with utter despair. "Think about that offer. Do not think I will spare my lesser-half for your sake."

As the door shut, Kikyo let out an infuriated hiss. Her shaking hand came to clutch her heart. It ached beneath the ribs. Kokuei always left her feeling this way. Seeing a pure physical replica of Inuyasha reminded her of her great love, but her heart broke a little more as she had to keep telling herself that it wasn't Inuyasha. If it had been, she wouldn't have pushed away. She wouldn't be in fear and regret.

Being a part of Inuyasha, Kikyo was bound to be drawn to him. Each time she met with Kokuei, she left wondering if it was good for her to do this to herself. But if there was one thing that bastard did for her, it was give her some fraction of hope. Hope, because she would someday be rid of both him and Kagome. She felt sure he couldn't hurt Inuyasha, and even if he tried, she wouldn't let him. So long as that girl was out of the way, Kikyo had a fighting chance to win her hanyou back.

Staring out the window once more, her eyes watched as the fields rose and fell against the wind. 'I'm meant to save people. I know that. But don't I have to make myself happy too?'

She sighed, 'They'd think I had turned evil. What do they know! Have they suffered what I have suffered? If I am to fight for my rights, then I can't let a simple girl stand in my way… She will be destroyed. I'll make sure of that. And I won't ever look back.'

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Was she loved because she was beautiful, or was she beautiful because she was loved? It did take a while for him to notice these little things about her. How dark her hair could be, how brown her eyes were, how even the scars on her body became beguiling to him, how she made the air around her shine. These were the things that only became clear to him over time, as he fell more in love with her every day. He had to go with the latter option in the end, but he did ponder how it could be… that _he_ was loved, yet still a monster. Or maybe… just to himself. It was never an option before, that he could find a home, that he could be beautiful to someone. What of Kagome? Did she ever know just how beautiful she was to him?

He glanced up once towards the village and sniffed the air for the presence of the boy and kitsune. They were still gone. Satisfied, he felt no shame in allowing his hand to run through her ebony hair. He didn't know why he did it. There was no reason.

She shifted a bit before settling back into place, releasing a soft sigh that made him gush. His claws gently combed back her hair. The constant desire to touch her had been such a surprise to him. The idea that he needed her, really needed her, was a frightening thing to a hanyou who had been alone as long as he dared to remember. Far from love, friendship wasn't something he even expected. How could he trust this thing called friendship, or love? If it meant having his heart put to trial, it never seemed worth it. However, love, the greatest gift to life's design, seemed completely unhindered by his fears. No matter what doubts he had, he couldn't doubt for a second that he loved her.

'Should I tell her? Does she even know?'

During the battle, he had been too preoccupied with Naraku to notice whether or not Kagome had heard his spontaneous words. Had she still been unconscious, or had the others managed to wake her in time? Either one he would have preferred rather than not knowing what he was to do. She just had to know, didn't she? At least to him, the final battle was sufficient proof to his feelings.

He sighed, 'I think that. But what if she doesn't?'

He tensed as he thought of telling her, 'Am I going out of my mind? I can't just tell her. It'd be far too humiliating…'

Another sigh, 'I'm lucky enough to even have this much. If I scare her away… But she should know. She deserves it… Agh!'

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't smell the newcomer, until she was standing right in front of him. The hanyou nearly jumped up. "Kaede-baba," he regained composure quickly and lowered his voice, "What are you doing here?"

The old miko nodded towards the hut just feet away. "I live here, remember?"

He scowled, "Keh."

She sat down on her knees in front of him, letting her bow fall behind her. Inuyasha hadn't realized till now just how old the miko was, when her muscles trembling slightly as she lowered herself to her knees. He could hear her grunting ever so slightly, possibly from the pain that troubled her. "But since you're here, I think I should let you know something. I'm heading for a village far south from here. Victim of the war, I'm afraid. It is a long journey, so I will be gone for awhile. But if you all would like to come along, I'm sure they could use help rebuilding."

Yet the woman was still fighting to her last days. He shook his head, "Sango already left Kohaku in our care. She probably wouldn't want to come home to him missing again. And Kagome wouldn't…"

His face fell gently; he would rather bite his tongue than continue. Kaede didn't need to ask what was bothering him. The hanyou's eyes gazed down upon the sleeping girl with such worry and dejection. The old woman sighed. After the well closed, Kagome felt very uneasy about leaving the area. It did get easier for her over time, but whenever the girl overstepped that boundary, the anxiety would come off of her in waves.

Inuyasha continued as best as he could muster, "I just… don't think she could do that right now."

"I understand," Kaede nodded.

Truthfully, despite it being Kagome who had lost her whole family at once, the old woman was more worried about the hanyou in front of her. Any subject of the future or the well, even using Kagome's items put him in a bad mood. In some situations he had even gone out of his way so that she wouldn't have to use her things, no doubt attempting to shield her from the painful thoughts. Somehow Kaede knew that what Inuyasha had done was eating away at him. She couldn't blame him for that, but it wasn't good for anyone. "Inuyasha?"

"What?"

"I just think you should know… you can't protect her from everything."

He glared at her hard, as though he took her words as a challenge. She had a feeling he wouldn't take her words to heart. Perhaps he refused to believe what she said, because the idea of failing Kagome again scared him so. Considering how protective he was of her, it wouldn't have surprised her.

With nothing more to say on the matter, she got to her feet, "I'll just get my things and be on my way. Please take care of the hut and the village."

Inuyasha barely heard her, and his eyes fell to the forest, where the well still waited. Quite a few months now. Kagome was strong, but no amount of strength could possible defeat the pain of losing one's world. Though she had told him that she was glad she stayed with him, he couldn't help but think that if he hadn't messed up, she would have had both worlds. If he hadn't destroyed her life, maybe he would have been worthy of her love, and worthy of loving her. If he hadn't closed the well, he might have been the man he wanted to be for Kagome. He might have been able to tell her that he loved her, without even flinching.

He glanced at the wonderful girl in his lap, 'She may deserve it. But I sure as hell don't.'

He sighed, 'I just don't know if I can tell her what I feel right now. I wonder if I ever will.'

To be continued…

**Whew! Finals are finally over! Thank goodness! Maybe now I can write more often. We'll see what happens. I can't make any guarantees, but… who knows? And maybe I'll be able to make them a bit longer, as well. Stay tuned, and as always, let me know how I'm doing. **


	6. Ch 6: Danger Never Dies

**I was hoping to get this out a lot faster, but I wasn't expected to have to go into surgery. I apologize with the bottom of my heart. Here is that sixth chapter I've promised.**

Chapter 6: Danger Never Dies

At the sight of his calm face, at the sound of his light snoring, she smiled. The miko stood up and brushed the dirt off her clothes. 'About time. Maybe I can go find that field again.'

Her eyes loomed over the horizon, and she sighed. With Sango gone, Kagome was left playing mother to Shippou and Kohaku. Although both tiring and thrilling at the same time, the realization of how she became such a good caregiver didn't give her as much joy as it probably should have. She was proud. There could be no doubt of that. She was proud of herself and this new life she was building for herself.

Higurashi Kagome came from a world were education and business affairs were extremely important. Living in Tokyo, it didn't take a genius to see what a reputation her country had. If there had been nothing else, Japan would have gone down in history for unusually strict, if not corrupted, school systems and policies. She knew long before she started her quest what it meant to risk her education. When you sacrificed your education in modern Japan, you pretty much sacrifice your whole life.

Was she scared of losing her opportunities? Of course. Did she have regrets for her future? Of course.

The Feudal Era was so different from the Japan she knew. Everything moved slowly here. Sure, they didn't have the luxuries she was used to, but they lived strong, despite centuries of war and famine. They didn't know what the next five hundreds years would bring. That the very grass they sat upon would soon by covered in skyscrapers. That the air would, by their standards, become unlivable. They had no idea what would become of their beautiful country. Yet Kagome took what little comfort it could bring in the fact that one trait remained, despite all war and agony and time: the love of a family.

It didn't matter how many problems there were in her country, because at least for her, family made up for it. Call it naïve or pathetic, but she knew it was nothing to be ashamed of. It was because of family that she remained proud. Because devotion stayed with her, no matter the five-hundred years between them. She knew the reason why she was who she was now was because of her caring mother. A mother who she left behind in Tokyo, who perhaps was still waiting for her daughter to come back.

When Kagome thought of her mother, she thought mostly of the little things she did to keep herself occupied. Memories of her mother's bored projects served to be the greatest therapy of all. When there was time, Kagome did the things her mother did, from cooking to art. And since Inuyasha had fallen asleep, it was the perfect opportunity for another craft.

She had had an eye on a field of flowers just outside the village. Sango and Miroku were due to return in just a few more days. Kagome was hoping that she could make some dry decorations for the hut that had been built for them in the village. It was still so new, there was nothing inside.

Before she left the campsite, her eyes scanned the area for Kohaku or Shippou. Satisfied that they would not see her, she walked off towards the flower field. To make sure the sleeping hanyou didn't wake at the loss of her scent, she had placed her sweater just under his nose. Her feet treaded softly as she walked away from the camp. It wasn't that she didn't want the others around. It was just that this was something she wanted to do on her own. It was her therapy, and it deserved her undivided attention.

'Not that Inuyasha would care,' she thought, 'I have never met anyone as possessive as him.'

Although most of the time she adored him for being so protective of her, she had to admit it got a little annoying at times. Inuyasha didn't need to worry about Naraku anymore, so she could only assume he was afraid that Kouga would come back again to take her away. She shook her head. It didn't matter what anyone told him. The hanyou was always looking for an excuse to fight.

The field came into view, and her smile grew. Located beneath a cliff were patches of pink, purple, orange, and yellow. It warmed her heart as memories of her mother came to mind. 'Mom, I know you'd be proud of me.'

………………………………………………………………………………………………

She didn't like it. There was something cowardly about the whole thing. Something very unmikolike.

The breeze of fall was as restless as she was. Strands of her hair flowed by her eyes several times as she looked down beyond the rocky edge, to the girl below. If hovering so menacingly above her wasn't enough to pose a threat, what disturbed her more was the childlike way her victim picked the flowers. How could anything be more horribly innocent than this?

"I've made it far too easy for you, Kikyo," he spoke beside her, far too close.

She could feel the heat coming off his body. Thinking the heat itself must have been as artificial as his soul sent shivers down her spine, "I don't understand."

He smirked over her shoulder, looking at the girl below, "Foolish girl, to think she's not in any danger. And to place herself beneath a cliff couldn't have been anything short of stupidity."

Kikyo's lips thinned, "Kokuei. You want me to break the cliff apart? Perhaps you are the foolish one."

"Where's your confidence? I've seen your powers. Use them right and you could break apart stone."

She turned her head away. Maybe stone, but she still couldn't seem to keep Kokuei's hands off of her whenever they met. The faint sounds of humming caught her attention. The girl was humming. Kikyo grimaced, "Why? Didn't you want to be the one to kill her? Surely you aren't going to give that up for someone like me."

He laughed, "Hesitant, aren't we? You know I'm still too weak."

Her gaze fell back to him. The smirk on his face and the twinkle in his eyes told her he was hiding something. He didn't have all his strength back. She knew this, despite what a powerful impression he had on her. But Kokuei wanted to kill Kagome himself, didn't he? It was a part of his wicked instincts. Why wasn't he waiting until he got his strength back? Somehow, she was afraid to ask. If it was worth keeping his mouth shut for, it couldn't be anything she wanted to hear. Her mind shifted through any reason she could think of, none of them explaining why Kokuei would allow Kikyo to kill Kagome…

'Unless… he doesn't think this will kill her.'

Kokuei's eyes sparkled as he saw her brow furrow. Beneath the white bangs, his thoughts were almost always in shadow, and yet neither the miko nor anyone else could hide their insecurities from him. Kikyo shuddered as he grasped her arms, gently this time. But oh so gently, it paralyzed her. "Would you rather I send for Kagura? I would have thought you would want to do this. That is…"

He fake-pouted as he traced a claw tenderly over her arm, just hard enough to stimulate her skin through the gi, "Unless you've grown soft."

Kikyo held back a growl that would have been very Inuyasha-esque. Though who knew if she even remembered that sound that once made her heart leap. "Don't be such a fool! This girl took everything from me. I… would be happy to do it," she tried to move her arm out of his grasp, as she bit back a scream, "It would just make me feel better to know what you're planning."

"Don't hurt yourself, Kikyo. It's never good for a woman to think too much."

Her blood ran hotter.

He stepped away and whispered, "Just do it, Kikyo."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

'Some purple delphinium, light pink lisianthus, some aster for a nice touch… Hmm, what else?'

Though it seemed like there was enough variety to go around, it still felt like there was something missing. Kagome's eyes scanned the field six times before she settled on something that would surely fill the void. "Fuchsia."

As her hand reached out towards the curly pink blossoms, she froze momentarily as memories of Inuyasha came to her, holding up a single fuchsia and cheeks painted pink. 'So this is where he found those flowers.'

Kagome smiled to herself as she picked them one by one, but consciously left plenty behind. After all, they were sure to be her little gifts in the future. She sat back on her heals and twirled one flower in her fingers. When once Inuyasha and flowers never came together, when once Inuyasha and kisses never came together, there were more now than she ever imagined. She couldn't deny that she enjoyed the tender moments. There was always something new, something innocent about every flower and every kiss. They were the witnesses to her choice to stay by his side. And yet, something about them seemed wrong.

Kissing thrilled her, as it did confuse her. As time went on, they got both better and worse. As time went on, the feeling of innocent desperation that started out with their kisses slowly developed and branched away into both contentment and also intense fear. She had memorized the patterns of his feelings for years, in his gestures, voice, and eyes. More recently, in his kisses, she could determine his anger, sadness, happiness, jealousy, and fear. Why was it that the fear was growing? Even behind the joy, she could feel his instincts to cling to her accompanied by worry. The ways he would cradle her in his arms… he felt tense.

The flowers, too, confused her. How many times had she seen him, face on fire, lips thinned and teeth clenched, fingers shaking ever so slightly around a freshly picked blossom? It didn't take a genius to know that he was a nervous wreck every time. One might have fancied him courageous, a fine example of a gentleman, but anyone who would have thought such things couldn't have known Inuyasha's character. The hanyou was indeed chivalrous, but enough to put his stubborn pride on the line countless times to give Kagome flowers? Kagome wasn't stupid.

Inuyasha said he did it just because. Sango said he did it because he loved her. While she didn't doubt that these reasons were true, there just had to be something more. Someone like Inuyasha… doesn't throw away pride for such things as sentimental as flowers and countless kisses.

'Inuyasha… what's wrong? You're afraid of something. I don't know what. Are you afraid of loving me? Afraid of losing me? What troubles you?'

When nature erupted, she didn't notice it. It was quick… far too quick for her to comprehend when it finally happened. Her mind only managed to register the boom when the sound echoed back from the mountain. She didn't even have a chance to look up. No time to stand, no time to run, and no time to even understand what was happening around her. Rocks rained around her in thunderous rhapsody, crashing loudly and violently against the soft field, swiftly ripping through it. And all that was left for time before she was taken under by them were her instincts, as she screamed out with all her might. "INUYASHA!"

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Something stirred him. He didn't know what. Consciousness came back to him, but his eyes squeezed shut in the hopes that it would force his mind back into slumber. His body was still tired. Why was he waking up? The first thing Inuyasha recognized was the pleasurable scent of his Kagome, followed by the texture of cotton on his face, from where the scent permeated. Instinctively, he reached out a hand, expected to grasp a sweater full of Kagome, but was only greeted by more cotton.

Inuyasha's eyes opened, confused immediately that her smell was there and that yet she was not. He lifted his head and looked around the campsite, seeing not the miko or anyone else for than matter. His cheeks puffed out as he exhaled hard, 'Shippou will never leave us alone if she keeps going off to play with him every damn free moment.'

He rested his head once more in the sweater, finding comfort in the smell and the memories it provided. He yawned and closed his eyes, fluffing up the fabric to serve as a pillow. But something put off his plans for sleep. Something hard inside the sweater. He grunted as his hand searched around, until it finally grasped something small and round. His eyes flashed open as he recognized the feel of it immediately. When he retracted his hand, he pulled out with it the almost completed Shikon no Tama.

'What?'

"INUYASHA!"

Out of confusion more than shock, Inuyasha was at his feet in an instant. Kagome's scream… Panic welled up within a second as he forced his senses to wake up fully to tell him where she was. He didn't need them in the end, and it didn't take long to find his direction. Not two seconds after the scream, a cloud of dust rose high in the distance, thick as smoke. Arising from the same place where a flower field sat below a cliff. "Kagome!"

The hanyou's still sore muscles screamed as he sprinted with all his might. The crash didn't go unnoticed by the people nearby. Practically everyone stopped in their paths to stare at the billowing dust and barely noticing Inuyasha. He passed many gasping on-lookers along the way, all of whom were too shocked by the crash to make a move. Inuyasha growled as he pushed past one of them, knocking the poor man to the ground, "Move, damnit!"

All he could hear was the sound of his own panting, of his heart booming in his chest. Smells of dirt filled the air, blocking out everything else, so he couldn't even smell Kagome anymore. That alone was enough to break him down. His mind became dizzy, his limbs unstable. A temporary abandon of sanity registered through his weakened heart as a loss of all senses… a loss of all feelings except the desperation to see Kagome safe once more. Agonizing memories that had once been remembered in contentment poured out from every burdened, frantic leap. Each one breaking upon him in silence behind the rapid fire of his pulse. 'No… It was supposed to be over! Please God, don't let this happen! Onegai… onegai!'

Running over the hill, his heart collided with his toes as he saw the pile of fallen rocks behind the cloud of dust. A half-gasp, half-whisper escaped as his heart violently denied the possibilities running through his head. It didn't matter how his knees hurt as he skidded to a stop when he reached the rocks, nor did it matter how he couldn't breathe through the dust, nor did it matter that he could barely see behind the watery appearance that became the world through his tears. He dug madly, desperately through rubble, each moment praying with every fiber of his being that she would be alive when he found her. Promising whatever Gods there were out there that he would do _anything_ if it meant they would save his Kagome.

He plowed and plowed and plowed through rock, finding nothing. After what seemed like hours of searching without finding her, he growled in frustration loud into the sky, the sounds resonating off the mountains and mocking his ultimate failure. Each time it was a new stab to the heart. That he could lose Kagome all over again, that he had not been there to keep her from dying… He whimpered, "N-no…"

His white ears swiveled to the right as he heard the shuffle of rock. Without even needing to think, he rounded the pile to the other side, and once again began digging with all his might. Alive? She just had to be… Just had to be. She _was_ alive. She was conscious. And she was fighting for him… so he had to keep fighting for her.

Inuyasha had not the words, the tears, nor the mind power to express the feeling coursing through him as he came across her body: dirty, bruised, broken… but very much alive. The sounds of her gasps for air surrounded him, sounds that at the moment were more beautiful than anything. When he uncovered her upper body, he was able to pull the rest of her out from under the rock. She groaned as her twisted ankle strained against the ground and hissed as Inuyasha hauled her clear into his arms, putting pressure unknowingly on her broken arm.

Amazingly enough, for a good minute neither spoke. Until finally the dust settled. She finally stared up at him, only to find the most angry hanyou eyes she had ever seen. She sucked in a breath and barely had time to prepare herself. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! HOW COULD YOU BE SO GODDAMN STUPID, YOU BITCH? You… You…"

He clenched his fists, teeth, and eyes as tight as possible. She couldn't see it, but he was fighting every emotion within him to keep the tears behind his eyelids. She shuddered at the power behind his voice, "Inuyasha…"

He shook his head violently, "No! No! There's no fucking excuse for going off on your own like this! I'll never forgive you for this! Never!"

Her eyes welled up with tears as well. It wasn't so much because of his hateful words. It was the way his arms shook as they held her, as his hand pressed against her broken arm. He pulled her even closer to him, his face buried in her hair. In her ear, she heard and felt his uneven gasps for breath. Both moving yet heartbreaking, she hadn't a clue what to say or how to react. Her arm ached awfully, and she bit her lip hard to hold back a cry of pain, though the idea of moving it out of his grasp frightened her even more.

No more was said. After a few more moments of uncertainty, Inuyasha regained composure of himself. Kagome dared another glance, and quickly wished she hadn't. Instead of the tender and timid image that broke her heart, the fierce glare that wouldn't even meet her eyes tore her insides apart. She gasped as he suddenly stood up, adjusting his hold so he wasn't hurting her arm. With no words or any form of acknowledgement, he began walking back to the village. Kagome used her good arm to clutch his haori and she buried her face in his shoulder. At this point, she was just praying the walk back would be long.

To be continued…

**So the good stuff finally starts. ****To make up for the delay, I am writing a holiday one-shot to post before the holidays are over. So far I'm really proud of it. It'll be called Baby Golden Eyes. I would really like for you to read it. I'll catch you all later. Toodles!**


	7. Ch 7: Forgiveness

Chapter 7: Forgiveness

Kagome found herself content to stare at the flames of the fire. In the late evening, everything around her was orange. The sunset outside, the fire inside, and the color of the walls as the light danced around the hut. Her skin too took on a warm hue. However, on the inside she felt cold, and at the moment wanted nothing more than to be in Inuyasha's arms again.

He hadn't looked at her… not once, since they had returned. Even now, he wouldn't meet her pleading gaze. Though he placed her gently on the futon, as if in honor of her injuries, his face held no kind manner. Kagome had seen him like this before, once upon a time, when they had first met. She remembered well his once cold demeanor. It was said among her friends and even the villagers that over such a short period of time, his eyes had softened to her, no doubt due to his undying trust that she would never ever let him down… not once. Over the years, the knowledge that he was slowly opening his heart to her became her greatest pride. Pride, because she loved him, and he would always be able to rely on Kagome alone for anything and everything. So much for that. Had she not broken that record when she went off on her own today, when she had nearly gotten herself killed? No doubt, in terms of trust, they were back to square one. Her eyes filled with tears at the thought, and she unconsciously wished he would bandage her wounded heart instead of her wounded body.

The silence was deafening. Every moment brought more uncertainly to whether or not he would even speak to her again. Was it a mistake to hold her tongue? She thought that maybe it would give him time to let things settle, but maybe it was just giving him time to get angrier. The miko watched him bandage her lower arm with a tenderness she had come to expect, but his lips and nose twitched upwards occasionally, and she knew he was fighting back a fearsome growl.

She had to say something, even if he didn't feel like responding. Whether she would sink or swim, she had to get across this space between them.

She thought quickly about what to say. "I... I felt the jewel in my sweater. W-where is it?"

No response.

"I-if you use some tree sap, it should help somewhat. I can use some of the nutrients to make an ointment… and it'll be sticky enough to hold the bandages together."

No response.

She sighed. Definitely back to square one. "Thank you for saving me, Inuyasha."

Again, nothing.

"Inuyasha…"

She placed her good hand on his, but he immediately retracted. The hanyou reached for another section of bandages and used his sharp teeth to rip off the portion he needed. The ache grew within her, until she expected to combust. If he would but favor her with his glance, maybe it would be enough to save her.

"Please, Inuyasha. I'm sorry. I really am. I shouldn't have run off like that. It was stupid of me. I just thought that maybe if I left the jewel behind with you, then it would have been alright, and nothing would have happened."

She heard a barely restrained growl. He finished on her arm and moved down to her hand. There was only a bloodied scratch on her palm, but he wrapped up the wound carefully as though she could break apart at any moment. His eyes focused on her hand with an intense glower. But for the first time since the accident, she saw some warmth behind them. Physically, she didn't know if it even had a name, but she knew the look well. She knew his motions well. His movements with her hand were slow and deliberately thoughtful. It had to mean something. Maybe a window to break through.

She took her chance and reached up for him, ready to seal her apology with a kiss. Perhaps the biggest surprise of all… was when he turned away from it. She stifled a gasp as she placed her free hand on her collarbone. He had rejected her advances, rejected her kiss! Kagome's eyes widened, and she knew he had noticed. He stopped his work on her arm and shifted his sharp gaze towards the fire.

Lips trembling, body icy without the warmth of him, the poor injured girl didn't recall ever feeling so afraid before. Palpable, tangible was her growing fear, as was the winter air physically freezing her sensations. With a sudden jolt of doubt, she found nothing but harsh conclusions, all summed up in the nightmare that Inuyasha would never trust her again, perhaps never even speak to her again. She tried to tell herself it was childish to think he would stay mad forever. He loved her, after all. It was a mistake. Just a mistake. She had been able to bat her eyelashes out of fights more than once. So then why did reconcile seem wholly unfeasible now?

Since they were together, there had not been a single disagreement that could stand against their tender kisses. She knew well by now Inuyasha's fascination with the art of lip-lock. He was a desperate kisser, not in a way that frightened her but in a way that amazed her, in a way that would occasionally make her wonder what was going on in his head. Though not at all demeaning, they were possessive enough to make her certain that something was not right with his thoughts. And both the worst and best part of it all was that it didn't matter either way because their kisses took away his pain and anger.

The build up of tears just teetered on her lashes. Though she inhaled hard to hold them back, she had no choice but to assume that the hanyou smelt them before she even knew they were there. The desire to hold suck them back in faded away as her hope continued to slowly flicker out. She wore three of them as badges on her cheeks, not even bothering to wipe them away. There was nothing more she knew to do. Not even her ultimate weapon against him, her kiss, could bring his affections back to her.

As Inuyasha moved away to the other side of the room to fetch more supplies, Kagome let herself go. Her sobs were as quiet as a mouse, with only a small squeak here and there, and a small rush of air as she just attempted to breathe. Her arms instinctively encircled herself, blocking her heart from the pain that flowed from him and into her shaking body. Poor Kagome half-expected to feel his arms come around her, but they never did, and every passing second lacking his contact made the reality of their argument more and more a threat.

She barely registered the laughter just outside, but she did stop her cries as she heard the curtain rattle against the doorframe. Even as a human, Kagome could sense the tension in the room suddenly climb, the intruder's mood changing from contentment to concern. The voice was too pitiful at the moment for Kagome to handle with Inuyasha hanging in the room. "Kagome-chan, what in heavens happened to you?"

Without a thing to say, she could only listen to the sounds of footsteps as Inuyasha took wide strides to Sango, pushed the first aid kit into her arms, grunted in aggravation, and broke away into the evening woods. The emptiness escalated.

"Oh God, Sango-chan. What have I done?"

The exterminator was at her side and gripped the plastic box hard against her stomach, "What do you mean, Kagome? What's wrong?"

It took a few moments, but in between a few hiccups, she was able to say, "I thought it would be okay. I just wanted to make something beautiful like my mother used to. I was just picking some flowers, and the next thing I know, there was a rockslide. I swear I didn't do anything to cause it. But now Inuyasha is so angry with me. I don't know if he'll ever trust me again. I led myself right into trouble, the idiot that I am. It was so stupid for me to assume that there would be no danger anymore. I didn't know what I was thinking. I… I just wanted to be close to my mother's memory again… that's all… that's all."

By the ends, her words were so breathy, Sango only managed to make them out. After the miko was finished, she gave her a few moments to gather herself again before speaking, "Is that what Inuyasha said? That he'll never be able to trust you again, that it was stupid to think that there was no more danger?"

Kagome sniffed and looked up at her dear friend, eyes and cheeks stained red with the force of her cries. "…No."

"So then why do you think that?"

"Oh, I know it's true. You didn't see him as he bandaged me. He wouldn't even look at me, and I felt dead inside because of it. Nor would he speak to me at all. And you must have seen how he left so quickly when you came in. He's so desperate to get away from me now…"

"Kagome, I don't think he was desperate to leave the hut. I think he just trusted me to take care of you so he could calm himself down. Since the others aren't around to help, as I can see, I take it that he hasn't had the time to think things through."

The teary-eyed girl shook her head stubbornly. Sango sighed. There were times when the miko was just as tough to convince as the hanyou. But anything was worth another try… "Kagome, why do you think Inuyasha loves you?"

She froze, and turned her eyes away as her cheeks pinked. "What?"

"Well certainly there is something about you that made him chose you over his wish to be a full youkai."

She scoffed, "Yeah, I got lucky and happened to have the shikon jewel buried inside my body."

"No," Sango almost laughed at such a ridiculous answer, "Think harder. What else?"

Many moments passed in silence. Kagome clutched a thin blanket to her nose. It smelt of life and forest, and Inuyasha. "Because… because we trust each other more than anyone else. We've never abandoned that faith in our bond."

Sango smiled, "You see? That's exactly my point. Because you have faith in your love, you trust in each other's love. If your relationship comes from trust, then if Inuyasha loves you, isn't it safe to say that he will always trust you?"

She couldn't come up with an answer for that, because it made too much sense. "Well… what do I do? He won't even speak to me. I've tried just apologizing up front, tried forcing him to look at me, I even tried in vain to kiss the anger out of him, but nothing's worked."

"And why is that unusual? You know Inuyasha. He always needed an explanation. Perhaps all you need to do is tell him your reasons for doing what you did. No need to throw apologizes everywhere. Perhaps if he knows that you trust him enough to share your pains with him, then he will be able to let go of his anger."

Many more moments came and went. Cold, lifeless, things so unlike their love, they couldn't bear to last forever, could they? For the first time in a good many hours, Kagome smiled.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

With a rustle of wind, Inuyasha's long white hair fell over his shoulders and onto his muscular back, revealing a golden locket and a worn out magical rosary. His claws fingered the necklaces and they rattled against each other. These items which held his sanity afloat. They reminded him everyday of the one decision that had no regrets… Not a one…

So much a part of him now as Tetsusaiga, these little things made his mind full of endless possibilities, some horrifying, some wonderful. His entire adulthood was packed into these little tokens. It was around the times he had recognized their power over him when he was probably considered at last grown-up, or so it seemed to the others. The knowledge of that fact came with an extra incentive that loving Kagome was what made him grow, and without her, he was nothing more than a little lost hateful boy, alone in the cold.

Behind the happy times constantly invading his thoughts came times equally bad, most of which included the events of this day. The hanyou was still haunted by the sounds he heard rocks thundering, smelt the dust ever-rising, and heard her frightened scream for rescue. His heart turned away from the memories, refusing to recall the pain of the unthinkable, of death.

He put his arms into his sleeves and stood his ground firmly. He ached to run back to the cottage and dry the silent dears of his beloved. Nothing could have quelled the ache like her touch, like her stare, like her kiss. Pulling away from her affections was harder than he could ever explain, but he knew what such a thing would do to his reasoning. He wasn't ready to forgive, to kiss and make up. Not yet… for fury stood beside him at the thought of finding her dead in that pile of rock, shrieking into the winter as he would cradle her broken body, residing to have her wrenched from his arms because he wouldn't have been able to handle burying her himself…

He clutched his palms and allowed his bottom lip to tremble in the cold. Perhaps he was a fool to have let his guard down, for he too believed somewhere deep inside that the danger was over, though logic should have told him otherwise. But however great that fault, he was no fool like the one who went off alone as her protector and lover slept well away from her. It was ridiculous, naïve, stupid, ludicrous, and all too terrifying to have happen to someone as perfect as Kagome. Did she even realize that she could have been lost forever? What in all the heavens could have possessed her to go off on her own, to a secluded part of the area, far away from his protection?

His thoughts halted as her scent wafted to him, sweet as spring, but cold as winter. He could smell her still-drying tears. His anger told him to run from her again, but the tears demanded that he stay and listen, the rattle of the locket and rosary reminded him that it was because of this silly naïve girl that he had learned to forgive again. She stopped just next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw she wasn't even trying to look into his eyes anymore. She was staring out into the distance. The worry was evident in her tearful eyes, but her posture and prideful manner proved to him that this was something worth listening to.

"Mother was very good at making things," she spoke sweetly, "I guess you can say it's my meditation. I… I won't try to make you forgive me, only to make this information known to you, because you deserve to know after all you've done for me…"

He nearly scoffed at that, thinking the young miko hadn't a clue what she had done for a certain lowly hanyou.

She cleared her throat, "You were right, you know? It was stupid of me to go off on my own like that. I just assumed that everything was safe here with Naraku gone. It was… a pretty stupid mistake…"

He nodded his head.

"… It's just that… It's been a few months now, since the well closed off forever. I'll never see my family again. But when my grandmother died, my mother honored her by doing some of the things she had loved, creating a tradition out of creating something beautiful… My mother isn't dead, but… since I won't be with her again… I assumed it would be righteous, as a daughter…"

His face softened, warming his body along with it as he stared at her in wonder. She smirked sadly, "… Pretty foolish I suppose. Look, I nearly got myself killed for a lame craft. Truth is, I thought that field was perfectly safe. I didn't even know anything was happening until the rocks came down, and I didn't touch anything to make it happen like that… But you have ever right to be mad at me, and I don't blame you for doing so. I just want you to know why, because if I don't get this off my chest, I think I will go insane," and she shut her eyes tight in silent prayer, "And because I trust you more than I trust myself."

He was speechless, which Kagome took to mean her strategy did nothing. She bowed her head and smiled hard through the tears, "It's okay. I don't hold it against you. You can still be angry."

Before the tears came flooding out again, she had to escape from him. But as she turned, Inuyasha's hand shot out and grasped her wrist. The feel of his touch jolted her senses into a chaos as blissful as her wildest dreams. The winds slowed against her skin, and she caught her breath in her lungs out of unconscious fear that there would be none left for her after this. His blistered, callused, dirtied hands that fought countless battles felt so tender on her delicate hand. So opposite, and yet so similar… like their hearts.

His voice was soft, yet there was a desperate quality to it that she could relate to his kiss. "I wasn't angry. I just…," he sighed, "I… was so scared that I…"

She looked up to him. He was still looking away from her, and she would have been offended by it, were it not for the way his hand trembled as he spoke, "…I was just scared."

"Inuyasha…"

She gave a small yelp as he turned to take her into a deep embrace. One arm snaked quickly around her waist as the other swung around the neck and gripped her shoulder. His cheek pressed against hers; his breath caressed her ear and neck. A balm on her fears, he seemed to absorb the pain through his fingertips. A small smile tugged at her lips as she remembered… remembered this emotion whenever his heart was open, how for every time her heart would crack, he would cosset every step towards recovery; how for every fight they had, his passionate eyes made her forget what world she lived in. Her own Newton's Law at it's finest.

Inuyasha was fighting to keep control of his emotions. The human night was just around the corner, and already he felt his emotional strength slipping from him. But love falls freely, no matter how hard he could try to keep a level-head. "Forgive me."

"Forgive you?" she questioned, "But you didn't do anything."

"I should have stopped this from happening. I should have known… youkai don't just want the Shikon jewel. Of course they would come after a miko. I'm such a baka!"

She pulled back, not enough to leave his hold, but enough to cup his face in her delicate fingers and lightly peck his lips twice. She shook her head side to side, "Shut up. Just shut up, okay. Don't ever s-."

She was cut off as his lips finally discovered hers again. Tender and unsure, though she knew there was a power behind him that only she could know, it humbled her to feel how he took care of her. The rush of passion flourished, the simple became exquisite, her world was reborn with this one act of charity.

In the wake of the evening, she stood in splendor before him. The scent he knew to be his home was fading with the effects of the new moon, and so the sensation became more precious to him. He didn't bother to hold his breath as he kissed her. Her hair and skin possessed what was left of his tamed senses. He inhaled all of her, without a second thought. She was his heart, her scent was his joy, and with every waft, his heart slipped.

Their lips smacked as the kiss parted, and when Kagome opened her eyes, Inuyasha's black human hair tickled her face. She smiled sweetly as she took a tendril into her fingers and brought it to her face. She ran the strands across her cheek lovingly, cherishing this part of him that he feared so much, loving the weakness of body because it meant strength of heart. With a sigh, she buried her nose into his haori and satisfied her worries with the feel of his warm body. Her cold nose welcomed the warmth and the smell of earth that permeated his fire rat clothing.

Inuyasha cheek pressed against her forehead, and already paranoid thoughts were running through his head, 'Kagome… How can I keep you safe? I can't change the fact that you're a miko. Youkai will always be after you. It's only a matter of time before I screw up again.'

A quiet vision of the well passed through his mind, and his brow furrowed in thought, in determination, in his never-ending promise to take care of the one he loved. 'Kagome…'

To be continued…

**Argh! Why do I feel like that took forever? Well, glad to get it out. I know, it is a lot of fluff, but this chapter does have an important point later on. Thank you all for being so patient with me. I really wish I could update more often, but what free time I thought I had is quickly being filled with new surprises. No, I'm not just lazy. Mostly, I am being delayed for this reason: with language as my greatest passion, my dream for years has been to live in a foreign country. Now, college is giving me the opportunity to live in Spain for a year. I dare not pass up this opportunity, but the application is a giant pain in the ass. And being so very important to me, this annoying application must be my first priority. But I will never abandon the story, and I hope you'll continue to stay with me. I worry about losing support every time I write. Please… everybody… if you're reading, let me know how I am doing. There is always an opportunity for improvement. And honestly, it will not be that hard to listen to advice. **

**Thank you all, and stay tuned for the next chapter, where the story takes off. Teehee! Toodles. **


	8. Ch 8: Bitter Cold

**Ugh… sorry about the super long delay. It's been quite a wild ride. But to make up for it, I've made this chapter twice as long as the usual. Please enjoy and review. **

Chapter 8: Bitter Cold

She pressed her forehead into both her wrists, her elbows rested on the table, her dark hair fell victim to the harsh breeze coming in through the window in front of her. Cruel and taunting. Her body ached not from over-working, but rather from lack of activity. Even her old life seemed a luxury in comparison to this. The nerves were spiked to move, and yet she had no means to satisfy. That spark of life she treasured was still too restless for her comfort, and it seemed to grow more and more each day. Slavery was no existence for someone who was mentally embedded in the wind.

Kagura's fan was in the corner, broken, beyond repair. No more dancing. Like her arms had been cut off, her very hands felt dead from lack of feeling, from lack of fight and power. How she missed feeling the power in her veins. She knew it was still there, but she couldn't help but feel like they had been subdued since her weapon had been broken. Her fingers twitched lightly against her frazzled hair. Such a need to reach for something solid and true to her needs.

The quill…

'There are times I think he is more powerful than Naraku. How am I to know if he wouldn't find out?'

Her body automatically contracted slightly, remembering the pain as her missing heart was squeezed. There would be no loss for Kokuei, were she to die. Given Kagura's history with betrayal, Kokuei took care to leave her out of his plans. She hadn't a clue what he was planning. Where once she had at least been a fighter, now she was a common slave. If she displeased him, he wouldn't think twice about killing her. It seemed too thin a thread to walk on.

But maybe… just maybe, she had a helping hand waiting out there for her.

She stared between her arms down at the quill and paper. She wouldn't have to do much, except maybe have to put up with sounding like a damsel in distress. At this point, she didn't much care, as long as she could be free. If her plan worked, then all she had to do after this was wait. It was just a matter of sending a letter by wind. Kokuei probably wouldn't even notice it. And though it was true that her chosen help had been nothing of the sort before, wasn't he the only one out there she had to rely on? Who else? Who else?

Her hand came to rest on the feather tool. It blew excitedly beneath her fingers, speaking in a way only she could understand. The path of freedom for her might only be a letter away. Everything but Kagura felt sure that it was her destiny to be free. Despite the disappointments so far, she wanted to believe it… needed to believe it again.

Her hand curled around her quill and she lifted it up to her eye-level. Her arm… somehow complete again.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"First snow," Kagome sighed to herself, content in watching the little white patches of heaven begin to form sheets on the grass.

The change from autumn to winter seemed to happen over night. It had turned colder, she had noticed that, but she never expected to wake up one night to white flakes on her nose. Not half a day earlier, Inuyasha had been refusing to speak to her. Now, he sat against the tree fast asleep with Tetsusaiga pulled to his chest, dark human hair cascading down around him in a sight truly glorious in the snow.

Out of habit, she turned her head to locate the others, afterwards realizing that they were back in Sango and Miroku's new hut. Miroku seemed… content… when he returned. She didn't bother to consider why. At least he was now relaxed enough to let Kohaku and Shippou stay with them for a while. They even offered shelter to Kagome and Inuyasha, but Inuyasha, being as stubborn as usual, insisted on staying outside to keep watch. Didn't seem to occur to him that his human state would do little to protect them if a youkai attacked. Naturally, she slept by his side, where she found she was truly safe.

She managed to make to her feet with only a grimace. Her body still ached, but it was worth the pain if it meant feeling the snow's light tickle. She put on some shoes and wrapped her sleeping bag around her body. She took a few steps and paused at the edge of the grass, where the shelter of the tree ended. As though it would be dangerous, she held in a breath as she stepped out into the world. Almost instantly, her shoulders pushed up to keep the snow from getting down her shirt. Kagome smiled into the nothingness of winter as memories of childhood flowed through her thoughts. All bundled up along with her brother… running through the backyard, making snowmen, snow angels… even now she was sure that winter was meant specifically for the young.

Kagome's gaze fell back to the hanyou, or rather the human, sleeping beneath the tree with his sword so close to his heart. Her brow furrowed in a guarded curiosity of what Inuyasha's winters had been like. Had he found winters to be wonderful like she had, or were they simply so cold sometimes that he couldn't wait for spring? Where was he during the winters that she enjoyed?

Snowflakes fell around his sleeping form, but never touched him. Each piece of the sky harboring him from the ugliness of the world. The little pieces of the heart that she often considered poetry… might very well have been his burden. But the winter made him look oh so beautiful to her. As though nothing could touch his splendor as long as she had the eyes to see him. Overwhelmed by the look about him, she turned her face away, and stared at the darkened sky that buzzed with the fresh season.

As though he knew she had been watching him, Inuyasha's dark eyes fluttered open. At first he didn't even notice the snow, but when his human senses finally picked up on the bitter cold, he lifted his gaze quickly to find the world covered in a sheet of white. Out of habit, he pulled his arms tighter into his chest. Memories of winters past without any shelter still lingered strong. Inuyasha grumbled to himself. The first winter alone had of course been the hardest. He never realized until then how much he had taken the simple things for granted, like a warm fire, warm food, and warm arms around him. It was a miracle, at least in his eyes, that he hadn't died that first winter after his mother…

His attention shifted as he caught sight of Kagome, standing out in the freezing, bitter world. He bit back a cry of outrage that he should see her standing in the cold, alone, like he had been for so many years. What stopped him was the look about her, the sheer joy that he recognized so well even in his human state. So very different had her life been, and yet he knew the joy within her so well, because she had been the one to prove it was there within himself. Standing in the cold, he couldn't find a trace of despair in her.

She arched her head upwards and towards the sky. Her eyes fluttered shut and he could see her sigh deeply, as though no power in the world could ever touch her. Inuyasha watched, mesmerized, as the tiny flakes of snow brushed against her cheek, her chin, her neck, and tangled in her ebony hair. Even with human eyes, he could see her skin shudder in response. He couldn't help but want to be the one to touch her cheek, her chin, her neck… and become tangled up in everything wholly Kagome, to be the one to make her shudder in rapture. His eyes became hazy as he thought of what youkai did to keep warm in the winter, and how it would feel to lay beside Kagome in a way that only mates do. 'Mates…' he thought, 'With Kagome…?'

His body shifted uncomfortably. Was it really what he wanted now? If he waited too long to claim her, he risked losing her to the wiles of some youkai. It was how most hanyous were brought about in this time, after all. Could he really stand back and leave her body unprotected in this dangerous world? He berated himself, 'That wouldn't even be a problem if you hadn't closed the well. Now, there isn't a place in the world were she could truly be safe.'

The past day still haunted him, even in sleep. He didn't want to think about it… never wanted to hear mention of it again, but the memory wouldn't leave him alone. There was a realization that it had been but an accident that had injured her so. But what kind of accident? Could it have been a stalking youkai who had been careless in his pursuit of Kagome? It was more than likely. He had been to that cliff before. That much rock… didn't fall on its own. Someone had to have started it, and Inuyasha didn't doubt for a minute that it was some clumsy youkai. If the dust hadn't blocked out his sense of smell, he would have tracked down the bastard by now. But if it had succeeded, what then?

'Something has to be done,' he thought as he turned his gaze away from Kagome, 'I can't just wait around for something to happen to her. It's only a matter of time before I… before I mess up again.'

"Inuyasha…"

He looked back towards her. She was staring at him, a sultry look to her that boiled him. "…You're awake."

Her piercing eyes shot through him like an arrow to the heart, imprisoning him within thoughts that he was afraid to want. A reckless desire laid into him, beneath his vision, magnifying with the tender softness of her features. Under the moonless, clouded night, there was barely any light to see by and yet somehow not even nature could hide her from what was her right, her beauty. She had to be the single most beguiling creature he had ever seen. Even in the cold, there was smoke within her presence. Something called out to the youkai buried deep within this now human body. Though human for the night, he was, and would always be a hanyou, and so what doubt could he have that his youkai desired her, and that his humanity wanted to shelter her from it? Where there was smoke, there was fire, and in his inner battle, either one of them could potentially be consumed.

"Come on, Inuyasha. The snow won't bite," she innocently beckoned.

Gulping away the emotionally exhausting effects of her gaze, he smirked, "Keh! It don't need to. It's just really cold."

She smiled back at him for but a moment before turning away, eyeing the valley of white. _Her_ valley… and her home, no matter what time period she was in. Within moments of staring, she felt a light weight on her head. She uttered a tiny cry of surprise before Inuyasha's hands came into view, wrapping around her body, carrying the edges of his red haori along with him. The pressure of his body on her back made her breathless, but as soon as he had enveloped her with the garment, he retracted his hands and body. Fighting back a complaint, she stared as he came in front of her to fasten the clothing into place, a stern look in his eyes, fully concentrated.

She exclaimed, "Inuyasha… I don't need this. Really…"

He didn't seem to notice, so she wriggled a bit to keep him from tying the knot, and tried to work her head out from under the haori. "I already have my sleeping bag. You'll freeze if you don't have this on."

He scoffed roughly, "Keh! I'm used to it by now."

"Inuyasha…"

He cut her off, "Wench. Just let me, okay!"

His voice was stern, but nonetheless quiet and balanced. She gave in and let him continue. Though with eyes hard and somewhat malicious, his hands were a balm to her senses, a glorious contradiction of sight and touch that only he could provide. The night came of age with the aid of his fingertips, as they made their way to adjust the cloth over Kagome's head, only to brush her shivering cheeks. From what she could see, it was purely unintentional, but before long, his dark eyes took on a different hue. As he straightened his haori around her head and neck, it seemed as though he willingly let his human fingertips graze over her skin… down her temple and across her cheek. Kagome's eyes fluttered closed.

A sigh of contentment brought him out of his trance, and he retracted his hands quickly. His cheeks were pinking, hard, and he looked away from her as he crossed his arms. She was taken aback at the loss of touch, but decided not to pay it any mind for the moment. She was still far too happy to care.

She smirked, "Thought you didn't like the snow."

"I didn't say I didn't like it. I said it was just really fucking cold."

She made a thoughtful look in his general direction, then nodded, "I suppose you're right."

For a while, his mood seemed to be improving, until they both spotted a group of men carrying firewood into their hut, to start a fire they could all huddle next to. Kagome wanted to go see if they could join in, but Inuyasha stopped her before she could even make a move. "Don't bother. They wouldn't want a hanyou to enter their hut, let alone share the warmth. Don't matter that I'm human tonight either. Those ones still know who I am. Keh! Even after 50 fucking years, the villagers here are all the same."

She grimaced at the rejection in his tone, and spoke before she could even stop herself, "You know that isn't true. What about Miroku, Sango, and what about me?"

"Don't make this about you, cause it ain't. This is about all these damned humans who don't have any respect… not even for a dying woman…"

She turned her head fast to gaze at him in confusion. "Dying woman? Wha-," and she gasped in realization, "You mean your mother?"

As though he just realized that he had gone too far for his own good, he turned his face farther away from her, as if trying to deny it, and ended up only confirming it. Kagome looked to the ground, "You hardly ever talk about your mother. Never this passionately."

No reply.

"Inuyasha, you know… maybe it would help if you talk about your feelings…"

"I don't have time for any of that mushy crap," he bit out.

There were some things… many things in fact concerning Inuyasha that the miko knew she should leave alone. His insecurities, his hatred towards humans was nothing new to her. Practically from the day she met him, the bitterness of his past had been on display. He had tried to hide it from anyone, but nothing could hide the anger that permeated his heart, the vendetta aimed for the world that put him to trial simply for being who he was, for being everything she loved. All this, not even Inuyasha could hide. But what he could hide was the deeper emotion, the raw anguish of a rejected child. And perhaps hiding that… was even more detrimental than anger.

She couldn't possibly leave it alone. She gulped, not really knowing what to say, but settled on saying what her well-wishing heart wanted to know, "Inuyasha… please… would you tell me about her?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his back stiffen. "What?"

His tone was eerily quiet, straight. She had to fight herself to keep from backing down. "Please… I… Your mother must have been wonderful."

She snapped her mouth shut as she heard a displeased growl emit from his throat, no less threatening than in any other night. He walked too feet away with his fists clenched before he turned back and snarled at her. "You have no right… You have no fucking right! Do you hear me?"

Kagome tried to hide the shame she felt behind the power of his voice, the command that felt more like an insult. "No right? And what right have you given your mother, when you have not even let her be mourned? I'm only trying to help you."

"And what do you know about how I've mourned, huh?" Inuyasha countered, "You know there's a pretty damn good reason I never talk about her…"

"Oh, I know there's a good reason. I've heard of how she suffered," Kagome said strongly as the tears started to prick her eyelids, "And I also know that not once have I seen you shed a tear on her behalf, even when I know full well that you miss her…"

He tensed as he considered her analysis, "…How long has it been, Inuyasha, since you let yourself cry, huh?"

The sound of her distress was too much for him. It only accelerated his aggravation. It infuriated him… that she could so easily abuse her power over him. Time and time again, she treaded through dangerous pieces of his past, breaking him down and exposing him, leaving him bleeding through his thoughts. And although he loved her all the more for it, he also despised her for it. This barrier, this hate… he would never let her take that away. "And what the hell would crying do? No amount of crying is going to change the past! Crying is weak, pointless! Just because I'm human for a night doesn't mean I need to humiliate myself!"

She sighed unhappily, and he turned away from her. She reached out a hand to grab his arm affectionately, but he pulled away as quick as he could. Kagome held in a cry and shook her head, "When you're ready to talk about it, I will be here, Inuyasha. Remember that."

The fight was over almost as quickly as it was started. Kagome had no regrets for her questioning, even as a few tears fell down her cheeks. She didn't feel anything short of despair. Inuyasha had argued so passionately… and she supposed he was always passionate about whatever angered him, but this… how could she possible have ignored it? From the day she met Inuyasha, Kagome had tried to open up his heart, make him realize that the world was a wonderful place, that there was good. But there were so many times like these when she felt hopeless. Of course she couldn't begin to understand his life. She knew that. And yet did that mean she wasn't allowed to try and make things right?

Although she tried to walk away with a purpose in her step, with the sleeping bag tight around her legs, she instead shuffled back to the tree, which she would have found funny if she hadn't been so angry. Once she reached her spot, she flopped down to the ground and curled up her knees. When she pulled up the blanket to cover her neck, she noticed that Inuyasha's haori was still wrapped around her, and her anger was put to shame. The world lay that night under a white blanket of show while she lay under warmth that surpassed the heat of fire. This red clothing… deep and bright just like Inuyasha's heart. Her eyes softened as the fabric brushed her lips and cheek. It was about at that time when she realized that she was his emotion. She was what released his passionate character. Not once did her presence leave him without feeling or action. Never had she missed a beat of his wild spirit. Her hanyou could never be contained, physically or emotionally. Somehow, whenever she was beside him, his rampant energy soaked through her body. As it appeared, she was the only one left breathless by the life in him, and she was the only one she knew to provoke it so effectively. She was pain, contentment, fear, worry, jealousy, fury, embarrassment, and love. Even when he was angry with her, didn't that just mean she was getting through to him? Didn't it mean that at least a part of him was listening?

Kagome sucked in a breath as she felt a soft pressure on her back. She turned her head in time to see Inuyasha's mighty arms embrace her and pull her back into his chest. She tried to look up to see his face, but her head was already nestled under his chin. Her heart fluttered as she felt his hot breath on her hair, as he seemed to engulf her in warmth.

He sighed. Close, but not close enough. He quickly moved one hand away to unzip one side of her sleeping bag and quickly climbed in behind her, effectively avoiding her injuries. With his other hand, he zipped up again and then maneuvered his arm back under her neck and over her shoulder. Before he could embrace her fully again, she turned over, pressing her nose into his collarbone. Both his hands gripped her at the back as he held her close to him. Her forearms pressed against his chest and her fingers kneaded his gi. Again, she craned her neck in order to look at his face, and this time, he obliged her. The light of her gaze brought him once more to that state that only she could summon. He saw a thousand reflections of what he was and what he could be, as though she unconsciously knew what he was. Her soul shined upon him with every wish in her being, and all he could do was sigh.

She spoke softly, "I'll be here, Inuyasha."

He looked away and pressed his lips into her forehead, murmuring, "I know."

"Whenever you're ready, I don't care when. It'll all be okay."

"I know."

"I promise, Inuyasha."

He tucked her head under his chin as the first signs of dawn crept over the skies far away, "I know."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_Sesshoumaru-sama…_

_I expect you would be surprised that I am still alive, because I myself consider it to be a miracle. It has been a while, Sesshoumaru-sama. You must have noticed the changes. For me, life turned around once, and then turned back again. There was a time when I had what I had always wanted: freedom, and a life to call my own. And having had it, I don't know if I could ever turn back. I'm writing to you now because I'm willing to put pride aside. I'm willing to ask for your help._

_If you are still reading even after I have lowered myself to ask such a thing, then I'll eagerly tell you everything I know. Though unfortunately, there isn't much _to _tell. Naraku may be dead and gone, but his replacement is nothing like I have ever seen. Ever since Naraku created him, I knew that intellectually he was at least an equal to Naraku. I don't know much about this new man's origin, only that his wild personality was more than Naraku had expected. He was created to assist Naraku in his quest to prevent some 'prophecy' from coming true, and in the end, was betrayed by his very creator due to disobedience. I still can't understand how he could survive the way he was. Even a youkai should have been dead. Perhaps Naraku implanted him with more powers than he should have. Or perhaps this thing was smart enough on his own to increase his strengths. If I was told correctly, you yourself have witnessed his strength, Sesshoumaru-sama. Would you ever forget the creature that looked exactly like your hanyou brother?_

_He calls himself Kokuei. The fact that he looks just like Inuyasha makes it obvious that whatever path was intended for him had everything to do with your brother. He looks, moves, sounds exactly like Inuyasha. I know it can not be a coincidence. Unfortunately, in his last days, Naraku had lost all faith in me, and so I never really knew why Kokuei was created. Now, with Naraku's death, Kokuei has claimed his place. He holds my heart now. How he managed to obtain it in his weak state, I do not know. Only that he has other prisoners to do this kind of work. Without my heart, I am a slave to his will. I used to be a powerful fighter, and now I am a common slave. Kokuei knows better than to trust me since he knew of my plans to betray Naraku. No longer part of his circle, I have no access to his plans. _

_Sesshoumaru-sama… There is one reason and one alone why I chose to seek your help. Out of everyone I have ever come across in this despicable so-called life, you were the only one I ever really trusted. Perhaps I have no reason to feel this way, nor should you have any reason to assist me. I understood full well as I wrote this letter that the chances of your help were slim, but it's the only chance I have. _

_On the prospect that you care, I must ask that you not come to find me yourself. Kokuei knows things, and who is to say he doesn't know about my connection to you? If you appear out of nowhere, I fear he may kill me before I could even blink. What I do need is for your wretched brother to make an appearance. If you tell him to come here, I think he will… for the rest of the jewel shards are still here in this castle. Knowing how he lusts after the jewel, I don't think he will pass up the opportunity. I'm not asking you to help him. I'm asking you to point him towards Naraku's palace. If he can defeat this look-alike, then I will get my heart and my freedom back. And if you do this for me, if you help me, I will be in your debt until my dying days. _

_Kagura._

He folded the paper over once, then twice, and placed it on the table. One of his youkai servants opened his mouth to ask, but with a wave of a hand, was silenced. "Leave me," he commanded softly.

The four inu-youkai shuffled out the door, leaving Sesshoumaru alone to think. Starring out the window, he brought his hand to his face, resting his chin on his thumb and pressing a finger to his lips. With his intense golden eyes, he eyed the valley slowly succumbing to winter. His ears could easily pick up the sounds of construction. Nearly complete.

It seemed like every time he and his baka brother passed, he would be left with a thorn in the side. It had taken a while to rebuild after that battle in his home. How did he get the misfortune to always end up in one of Inuyasha's problems?

It all went downhill after that Saku woman came seeking shelter. He had agreed simply because Rin took a liking to her stories. It turned out to be his mistake. It was a mistake the day he found out… that the prophecy was close at hand. He glanced at the painting of his father on the wall. 'Father, is this really a prophecy or could it just be some rumor in your favor? I know how much it would please you… Disgusting.'

Though he constantly told himself otherwise, he did care. Perhaps he cared a little too much. The truth was that it did affect him; it affected his honor. He wanted to believe that it was just a rumor, but Kagura's note confirmed it. The prophecy was a very real thing. Someone out there, like this Kokuei, feared its arrival.

He remembered Kokuei, that thing he battled just outside his own castle. The smell and voice had been identical to his brother. If that were all there was, Sesshoumaru would have assumed they were one and the same. But something in those eyes swayed his opinion as their swords came together for the first time. A small flicker of something savage. The same spark that consumed Inuyasha as he transformed. It was the same light. There would be no other. How Naraku had managed to extract the youkai blood and bring it to life, Sesshoumaru hadn't a clue. Nor did he understand why.

Chisaiga, as Kokuei had named it, was a sword so powerful it nearly had Sesshoumaru at his mercy. It was a powerful weapon, much like the Tetsusaiga, only ran so hot he could smell the smoke coming from it. If Kokuei could find such a sword, and know how to use it so elegantly, who was to say what else he was capable of?

No… he couldn't afford to risk it. Even if it was a complete waste of his time, even though the idea that he should have a hand in his brother's fate bothered him… 'Kagura.'

To be continued…


	9. Ch 9: The Only Chance

**I'm so glad. I got this one out earlier than I expect. Ugh… but still too long a wait.**

**Anyways, because it has been brought up, I should make something clear. I do plan on making Inuyasha and Kagome mates, and I'll be changing the rating when the time comes to reflect that. I have never done a lemon before, so I want to do it as a way of challenging myself. I hope those of you who don't like lemons will still stay with the story, because there is so much more to happen. I will tell you when the lemon starts and when it ends, so it'll be skippable. Any kind of sexual tension that occurs before that I will leave alone, unless I feel that it gets too limey. I hope that will be enough. Thank you all.**

Chapter 9: The Only Chance

"Really? I am flattered that you think so highly of my intelligence, Inuyasha-sama," chirped Myouga, wrapped tightly in a little cloth to keep warm, standing atop a low branch.

"Don't be. I've been waiting for you for weeks!" Inuyasha spat out.

"You don't say. I wonder why…"

"How the hell was I supposed to look for a damned flea? All I _could_ do was wait for you to be frozen out of house and home before you'd come crawling back to me, like you always do."

Myouga squinted his eyes, "Inuyasha-sama, your words wound me."

"You'll live. Now are you going to listen to my question or what?"

He turned his little cheek to the side, and tried to look as miserable as possible, "Oh, but I am so weak. I do believe I require a drink."

"Keh! You've had enough of my blood to last you the rest of the winter."

"Well, couldn't we at least go back inside where it's warm?" He pouted, a little more than irritated that he was being denied a meal.

"No. Kagome's in there."

The flea-youkai opened one eye to peek out at his old master's son. The look on his face was serious. "You mean you don't wish Kagome-sama to hear us?"

"I don't want anyone to hear us, Myouga-jiji. Especially not Kagome, so don't get any funny ideas."

Seeing as how he couldn't very well deny the hanyou who was giving him shelter for the winter, he sat down and put on his most astute face. "What is it you want to know, Inuyasha-sama?"

The hanyou sighed, stuffing his wrists into the long sleeves of his haori. Suddenly he regretted not taking Kagome's advice on getting some shoes. His feet were frozen. As a hanyou, it wasn't likely for him to get frostbite, but the cold didn't have a care for what he was. Nowadays he didn't much leave Kaede's or Miroku and Sango's hut. But for this, he had to brave the elements so that their conversation could be kept secret.

Somehow he couldn't forget everything that had happened because of him. He had thought that the guilt would numb with time, but Kagome's eyes were a neverending reminder of his mistakes. Though they were filled with love for him and his friends, they were still incomplete. Perhaps her goodbyes were left incomplete, and that was why she couldn't totally let go, why he couldn't let go. There wasn't a thing in the world he wouldn't do to help his Kagome, and so there was only one solution. "It's about the well."

"Yes?"

"It closed off many months ago."

"Yes, I know. Kagome-sama told me about the whole thing. Poor dear."

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. If he had known that Myouga was questioning Kagome about the well, he would have thrown him out into the cold long ago. He tried to let it go, and continued, "I want to open it again."

"Well, that's very generous of you," Myouga grinned slyly, "I always knew you had a sensitive heart somewhere inside you. You truly are your father's son."

Inuyasha grimaced, "Keh! Save your sentimental crap. I just want to know how to open it again."

He paused and furrowed his brow, "I'm sorry to say… but I have no idea."

"What?"

"You can't expect me to know everything."

The hanyou growled, "You mean to tell me that I've been waiting practically all winter for you to say that you don't know shit?"

"Well… yes," Myouga flinched a little, worried that he would be squashed for the bad news.

Instead, Inuyasha smacked the tree just enough for Myouga's branch to shake. The little youkai clung on for dear life as the vibrations turned his head into mush. When the branch stilled again and the dizziness wore off, he saw Inuyasha angrily stomping away towards the village. Myouga called, "But I do know someone who might."

That got his attention. "Who?"

"Your brother, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Sesshoumaru? What the hell would he know?"

"He is tai-youkai. As ruler, he knows more things than many villages combined. He'd be your best chance."

"Keh! No thank you. No way am I talking to that bastard when he probably doesn't know a damn thing. He's got no reason to."

Myouga bounced onto his shoulder as Inuyasha began walking again. "I just thought I should tell you in case you were interested, because I just caught his scent. He's close, Inuyasha-sama."

Inuyasha stopped quickly, "He is?"

As though on cue, Inuyasha recognized the stench of his youkai brother, and began to mentally berate himself for not noticing sooner. Within moments, he was able to target where Sesshoumaru was coming from. Out of instinct, Inuyasha reached for the hilt of Tetsusaiga. His brother was no doubt back to fight for the weapon. A part of him had assumed that Sesshoumaru wouldn't need the sword since Naraku was dead.

'No matter. That bastard is long overdue for an ass-kicking.'

He drew Tetsusaiga, a metallic ring echoing through the air. He called out, "Come on out, temee. I'd be glad to teach you a thing or two about Tetsusaiga."

"Put the sword away, Inuyasha," he slowly emerged from behind the bushes, "I am not here to fight. At least not today."

Although at first slightly confused by the statement, Inuyasha tightened his grip. "Bullshit! I ain't trusting you for a second! You're just after Tetsusaiga. Though I'd never thought you would stoop so low to use trickery. You bastard."

Sesshoumaru tightened his lips into what might have been called a smirk. "I came here to give you some useful information."

"Keh! If it's so important, then why the fuck would you tell me?"

"Because I have been requested to."

"Oh yeah? Like when Naraku _requested_ you to kidnap Kagome and you end up nearly getting her killed? And don't think for a second that I have forgiven you for that."

"First of all, neither you nor I knew who Saku really was. Second, I never kidnapped the miko. She wanted to come with me. You know that already."

"I know that you're a manipulative bastard. Now either get lost or prepare yourself. I won't go easy on you."

For what had seemed like a very long time, everything was silent. In the dead of winter, not even birds chirped or leaves rustled. Inuyasha skeptically looked at Sesshoumaru's face. Serious… yet softer than he remembered. His brow was wrinkled, as though he was thinking hard. Yet in all the years Inuyasha had known Sesshoumaru, he had never once seen any look of emotion about him. His instincts screamed that it had to be a trap. No tai-youkai would possibly hold back on a hanyou. The silence soon became deafening, and Inuyasha lifted his sword into the air for the strike. No way would he let Sesshoumaru get the chance to attack first.

He halted the blow and his eyes went wide. In shock, the hanyou could only stare in amazement as his older brother detached Tokijin from his side, sheath and all, and threw it off to the side. It landed softly into the snow, disappearing within the blanket of white and leaving behind only an imprint. Inuyasha risked a glance at where the sword had fallen, then gazed back towards his brother in utter confusion. He couldn't possibly think he could reach for it, did he? Sesshoumaru had thrown it many yards away.

"What do you want?" Inuyasha growled low.

"Just your attention. Now are you going to cooperate?"

Not knowing whether or not his brother could be trusted, Inuyasha didn't move or make a sound. Sesshoumaru took the silence as a sign to continue, "I know where you can find the shards."

"What?" Tetsusaiga lowered ever so slightly.

"_Inuyasha…"_

Inuyasha turned his head towards the direction of Kagome's voice. She was looking for him. Thinking fast, the hanyou ran forward and into the cover of the bare trees, pulling Sesshoumaru along with him by his shirt. The inu-youkai made a grunt of surprise as he was heaved against a tree. Inuyasha brought his index finger to his lips and shushed him. He glanced back to make sure that Kagome couldn't see them. She couldn't find out that he was looking for a way to open up the well. She might try to stop him.

Sesshoumaru had his eyes on the front of his clothes, where Inuyasha's claws still clung to him. He growled softly, "You will remove your filthy hand from me this instant."

As though he just realized who he had grabbed onto, Inuyasha jumped away and leveled his sword once again. "The jewel shards?"

He straightened his clothes and regained his passive stance, "You didn't expect Naraku's pieces to just disappear along with him, did you?"

"Then where are they?"

"Naraku's palace."

Inuyasha scoffed, "Keh! That place moved all the time. I don't know where it is anymore. There is no way I could even look…"

"In the far west," Sesshoumaru interrupted, "About two day's travel past my palace."

Inuyasha was about to argue when he heard Myouga whispering to him, "You see? I told you he was knowledgeable."

"Myouga," Sesshoumaru saw him, and Myouga froze in fear, "Even you must know why it would be worth my baka brother's time if he retrieved the shards."

Inuyasha glanced down at his shoulder where Myouga stood. At first the old flea looked confused, and then his eyes went wide with realization. The little flea hunched his little shoulders as he subconsciously attempted to hide his face in his little blanket. Myouga said shakily, "Uh… well… I-I really should be going. I really have to find…"

As he made to leap away, Inuyasha's claw snatched him. The hanyou brought him close to his face, holding him between his two sharp nails, and he growled, "Myouga-jiji, what do you know?"

"No, Inuyasha-sama! It is far too dangerous! I won't let you go- Gaaah!" He squeaked as Inuyasha squeezed just slightly.

"Okay! Okay! Okay!" Myouga yelped, "I'll tell you!"

When Inuyasha didn't ease his hold, Myouga thought it best to continue quickly before the hanyou lost his patience. "If you retrieve all of the Shikon shards and put them together, you could wish for the well to be returned to normal! It was be exactly the same as before, and will allow both you and Kagome-sama to travel through the portal whenever you please! But it is too dangerous, Inuyasha-sama! Countless youkai sense the shards are there! The area around the palace is littered with them, and they will rip you apart before you could even set foot inside!"

Sesshoumaru stated, "I doubt your words could stop him. For Inuyasha not to go, it would only prove his weakness, his inability to help someone he claims to love to return to her family."

Inuyasha growled, "And why the fuck are you telling me this? What could you possibly gain from it?"

Sesshoumaru was silent, and in his eyes, Inuyasha could see a hint of irritation. Why did it matter to him that the well could be opened again? Surely he had to have another motive. He always had… for as long as Inuyasha could remember. Even when he was growing up, it had been clear that Sesshoumaru had no obligation to be loyal to a filthy hanyou. Any meeting between them had been for his benefit. From attempting murder to sending Kagome back to her time. He smirked. That must have been it. He continued, "Keh! Don't tell me… You're still after our family's honor? You think if I fix things then she'll leave me for good? You're wrong. There ain't a damn thing you can do to separate me from Kagome."

Sesshoumaru watched his brother, untamed and careless, saturated with the bond between the miko and himself. The inu-youkai shook his head and walked slowly towards his swords. Inuyasha shouted, "You hear me, bastard? You're wrong!"

Sesshoumaru never uttered a word or a sound as he tied his swords back into place at his side, and never looked back as he walked off in the direction he had come from. Falling snowflakes tangled in his air, dusted his cheeks. Just before he was out of sight, Sesshoumaru said to his brother, "Do what you wish with the shards. I simply thought it would be of interest to you."

Inuyasha listened for the light footsteps of his brother on the snow, until the sounds faded away behind the sounds of wind. He growled to himself. 'That bastard. What kind of game is he trying to play?'

"Inuyasha-sama," Myouga squeaked.

Inuyasha realized the flea-youkai was still trapped between his claws. He squeezed slightly and Myouga squirmed. "Myouga-jiji… you lied to me. You said you didn't know anything."

"W-well… I didn't know where the shards were, so I thought that was out of the question."

Next thing he knew, Myouga was flicked through the air. He waved his little arms and screamed as he fell through the air and onto the snow. He was so small that he didn't even make an imprint. The small cloth he was using for warmth blew away with the breeze. "Ooh… Inuyasha-sama…The cold…" He cried.

Inuyasha began walking back towards the huts, where Kagome was calling for him. Myouga forgot about the cold and bounced after the hanyou, "Inuyasha-sama! You can't! You mustn't! What if it is a trap!"

"So what if it is," Inuyasha replied curtly, "I'll still kick all their asses."

Myouga managed to grab onto Inuyasha's haori at the back and hurriedly pulled it around his body. "And what about Kagome-sama, and your friends?"

"They'll never know. I'm going without them. And if you tell any one of them, I swear to you, I will feed you to the birds."

He gulped. "Hai, Inuyasha-sama."

Inuyasha glanced back over his shoulder at where he had last seen his brother. 'He said somebody wanted him to tell me. Who was it? Or is he just trying to cover up his own trap?'

His troubled mind would have to wait. There was a smell of food in the air. He spotted Kagome as he approached the village. She stood outside Miroku and Sango's hut wrapped in warm clothing. She rubbed her arms with her hands as her teeth chattered. A tender toss of her dark hair and the trapped snow cascaded down her back. Her cheeks were flush from the cold, but when her innocent smile pierced the air, he felt warmth again. "There you are. Took you long enough. Come on, the food is ready."

He managed a smile and made his way up to hill, 'Kagome… This could very well be the only chance I get to make this right. In the end, you'll understand… won't you?'

To be continued…

**Ugh… so much dialogue. I miss my fluff! (sniffles)**


	10. Ch : Runaway Puppy

Chapter 10: Runaway Puppy

The stillness of the earth made it appear as though it were dead. Colorless and cold, void of any sign of life, the endless rolling hills of white mourned for each other. Would anyone else see them lying dead by the valleys? Had anyone else even seen them when they had been alive? With the nearly constant fall of snow, not a footprint was left uncovered. Snowflakes evened themselves out amongst each other, so that the surfaces became smooth and looked as solid as rock. What few times the sun appeared, the wetness glimmered, more resplendent than a jewel. A land abandoned, completely unknown in the cold season, and no one to see the beauty… no one to understand what it truly meant to be winter.

When the winds did fade, only a light snoring was uncovered, which was followed by sleepy murmurs. "Mmnmm… Yes, yes. Fetch me more at once… Mm… Sweet, sweet blood… From now on, you come only to me…"

It took a little while for him to feel the odd sensation of motion, but Myouga was too groggy after such a good night's sleep to understand why he felt so odd. His little eyes just barely opened, enough to find himself face first in something red. He smiled dreamily, still half-asleep, "… Blood."

It didn't take long to realize that it wasn't blood, but some kind of cloth. As he slowly began to regain his senses, he recognized the smell coming off the red clothing. It was Inuyasha's haori, and Myouga was sleeping in the inner pocket. Lazily, he crawled towards the opening and peaked out.

He yawned sleepily as his tiny head stuck out, "Mmm… what's going on? Oh, how very lovely the mountains are this morning? … Wait… Mountains?"

The flea-youkai's eyes shot wide open as he gazed into the frozen wilderness, to the white mountains he was for some reason passing by. He looked up at his carrier, who hadn't even noticed yet that he was awake, "Inuyasha-sama! What are you… Where are we going?"

Inuyasha frowned a bit. So much for an easy trip. "What do you think? We're going to Naraku's castle."

"N-nani!" Myouga cried, "But…"

"I decided that it would best to wait after the night of the new moon to leave, just in case it took too long to find. Since that was two nights ago, last night was perfect."

Myouga stared wide-eyed at his master, "And what about me?"

"Keh! I knew I couldn't leave you back with the others. No matter how much I threaten you, you'd still manage to tell everyone. You're coming with me, and that's that."

"Oh, no it isn't, Inuyasha-sama!"

Myouga leapt into the air, intent on escaping even if it meant facing the hard cold. Even in the winter, he was far more likely to survive here than at Naraku's place. But not a second after he jumped, he felt something pull him backwards again. His back collided with the hanyou's chest and the flea plummeted downwards only to be jostled upwards again as Inuyasha ran. Myouga grabbed back onto Inuyasha's haori. It was then that he noticed he had been tied tight to the haori by a black string. He tugged tight on the knot around his waist, but it wouldn't budge. He whined loudly, "Ooh, Inuyasha-sama, how could you?"

"Keh."

If it weren't for Myouga's uncanny ability to be such a snitch, Inuyasha probably would have left the old man behind. No way could he risk leaving him with the others, though. Myouga was just stupid enough to spill the beans and ruin everything if he was given the chance. At least this way, he would have some form of companionship, even if it was Myouga.

Inuyasha sighed quietly. Ever since Sesshoumaru's arrival, Inuyasha had spent the rest of the week pondering what he should do. Night after night, he stayed up late watching as Kagome slept, wondering how much she truly needed to see him when she woke up. Perhaps she would feel betrayed? Perhaps she would feel frightened?

Perhaps she would feel unloved?

Often times he felt that being romantic made him intensely insecure, and it didn't seem to make much of a difference that he knew Kagome loved him. The problem was… did she know? Did she _really _know that he loved her? No way did a hanyou with a loveless past understand what it meant to show his feelings. Girls were odd… really odd… and this he noticed even as a child. They were so sensitive, so obsessive both about their relationships and about themselves, for reasons that to him seemed trivial. The observation didn't matter much. He didn't have much human contact in his life, and especially no friends. The closest thing he had to a romantic influence was Miroku… and if anything, that was just a representation of what not to do.

But that lecher did teach him at least one thing useful, and that was that females craved attention, especially from the males. He knew it had to be true, because he had seen the same thing being played out in Kagome's era. One of the initial shocks to him about the future was how dramatic love was there, how important it was. Nearly every picture or television show he saw had something to do with romance. What could he assume, except that Kagome would never understand his feelings unless he did the things she expected?

The constant kissing, he had gotten used to, although he was no more strong-hearted about being that close to her than their first time. She still set his soul aflame, and he was still utterly helpless against that. The flower-giving had taken a great deal of courage, but she had seemed happy enough for him to let it slide… especially once she kissed him. But he needed to do something more. It just didn't feel like a complete expression. No matter how hard he fought against his fight or flight instincts in order to please her, there were pieces still missing between them. He could feel it, like his very skin was being melted away.

Her family… would that fill the void?

If he had ached for a family's love, why wouldn't she? Wasn't that why he had left her behind for what would be about eight days? But on the other hand, he was already risking their closeness by taking off _once again_ without telling anybody. He didn't forget how upset Kagome was when he left the last time. Not to mention that with every passing mile, he felt the dull ache of her absence grow more and more palpable.

Inuyasha sighed, 'Who am I kidding? There's no winning against this thing.'

What he had to do, he had to do. Whatever lost ground with Kagome, he would regain it. Because she was Kagome, and she loved him, and she always forgave him with time.

Maybe if he could get her home to her family, then maybe he could finally feel worthy enough. Maybe, just like the movies he saw, he could find the courage to tell her, this time with words, how much he loved her.

The snow was getting thicker, harder to run through. He consciously ignored Myouga's protests as he worked his way through the four inches of snow that still managed to delay him. A trail of broken snow was left in his wake, winking at the mountains in the vacant dawn.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Kagome awoke from a full-night's sleep only to wince and retract her exposed arms into her sleeping bag. The cold made her hands feel so numb. She breathed hard into her palms to warm them up, and small puffs of steamy air escaped through her fingers and dissipated in the chilled air. She groaned, 'What I wouldn't give for an indoor heater right about now… and some hot chocolate… and a hot bath with some good shampoo…'

She opened her eyes completely and was confused for a moment to find the wall opposite her empty. '… and a hot hanyou,' she smiled to herself.

The young miko giggled lightly as she thought of how that would really hit the spot right about then. Her arms crossed over her head and she arched her back as she stretched, making a little squeaking noise. 'I wonder where he is.'

Kagome prepared herself to face the cold outside her sleeping bag, and sat up quickly just to get it over with. If she cocked her head to the side, she could see passed the beaded door and into the outside world. 'Clear skies. He's probably out hunting. Maybe this time he was smart enough to wear shoes.'

Glancing at the corner behind her, she noticed that the "shoes" she had "made" for him were still there. Even if they were poorly constructed, at least they would have given him some warmth. 'Perhaps not.'

As she got to her feet, she did realize that something was missing: her friends. Instinctively, she glanced at her watch. "Twelve o'clock? That late? How could I have slept in so long? I need to get to work."

Kagome hurriedly dressed herself and stumbled outside as she tied on her shoes. She dashed over to the woodpile and picked up as many dry logs as she could. On her way back towards the door, she spotted the others coming up the hill. "Oh, there you are. I'm so sorry. I slept in. If you could just tell Inuyasha to hurry up with that food, I'll have it ready in no time."

"Uh… Kagome-chan?" Sango said timidly.

Kagome looked back from the doorway, trying her best to keep all the logs in her arms. "Nani?"

She quickly noticed the serious looks on there faces, and she tensed up. They could only look that way for one reason. "Where's Inuyasha?"

Miroku scratched the back of his head and looked into empty air with a grimace, "Um, Kagome-sama, don't take this the wrong way, but… we don't know."

"Nani?" She gasped.

"We've searched the village and the nearby forest for two hours. There's no sign of him. He's gone."

"NANI?" Kagome bellowed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

'Shoes… shoes… Why didn't I just fucking take them?'

Once he got the fire started, Inuyasha began rubbing his feet as hard as he could to regain feeling. He had thought that he could handle the snow throughout the day, but what he didn't consider was that for the past two years, he hadn't spent more than an hour at a time outside in winter. His ankles and soles stung. Myouga was curled in the hem of Inuyasha's haori, shivering like there was no tomorrow, which according to him, wasn't that unlikely.

Inuyasha's honey eyes gazed long into the fire, trying to quell the emptiness that he felt from the moment he left the village. He had forgotten how hard it had been to be alone. Perhaps it didn't seem so hard before, until he met that silly girl from down the well. He couldn't help but smile weakly. Even if he didn't love her, he would still owe her his heart for what she did for him. After he had her, it was impossible to think he could ever go back to living the way he did. The hanyou never thought he needed anyone, not like he needed her.

What were the impossible things he had gained because of her? Adventure, definitely, and someone to look after. Not just Kagome. Shippou, Miroku, Sango, and Kirara too. They all needed him, didn't they? To protect them, to guide them. Kagome was the start of it all. He had a purpose, he had friends, and he had… he had a… girl? No… a woman? No………

'…… A… mate?'

How could he dare to dream? But the hope just wouldn't leave him alone. Her hair smoked in his fingers, her scent explored him, her kiss dissolved his body. He had been told before that anybody who wanted something so desperately risked losing himself to his wants, and Inuyasha wanted Kagome, more than anyone else, more than anything else. And he wanted the world for her. He wanted a place where he could build a life, a home, a family… with Kagome. He wanted to kiss her every morning and then again every night. He wanted her to know forever and always that he needed her.

'But would she even want me?'

A part of him was outraged that he would think such a thing. Kagome loved him. He knew that. 'Keh. Perhaps she would, but… right now, I think I would lose my mind if she said yes. I still can't believe that I have her now.'

"Inuyasha-sama?" Myouga snapped the hanyou out of his thoughts.

"Huh? What?"

"Is everything alright? You look awfully red in the cheeks."

His observation only caused Inuyasha's cheeks to redden more. Myouga pointed, "Oh! There it is again!"

"Urusai!" Inuyasha exclaimed as he slapped Myouga aside with his palm.

Myouga groaned as he swung back and forth on the string connecting them together. Inuyasha stuffed his hands into his sleeves, "Stay out of my business."

"What are you thinking about?"

Inuyasha turned his cheek and huffed, "What are you, a woman? I've had enough of women and feelings, thank you very much."

'Women and feelings?' Myouga mused, 'Women… and… feelings…'

His eyes lit up a moment before his eyes narrowed slyly, "Inuyasha-sama."

He didn't know why, but for some reason, the hanyou didn't like that tone of voice. It could only mean trouble. His cheeks pinked again as he saw the way Myouga was staring at him, as though he knew the biggest secret in the world. "W-what?"

Somehow even when his eyes closed, they were lit up. He swung like a pendulum on the string as he clasped his hands together joyfully. "Oh, I knew it. I just knew it. It happens to all of us, Inuyasha-sama. It's just a matter of time."

The hanyou's dark eyebrows pinched together. "Huh? What is?"

"You mustn't worry, young master. We all must find a way to cope with these feelings. It is truly a burden in a male's life."

"Male?" Inuyasha's hands suddenly felt hot, "I don't… Myouga-jiji, explain yourself!"

With the length of the string, Myouga was able to leap onto Inuyasha's raised knee. Quickly he pulled the string behind him and began his speech, "Now, the first thing you should know is this, Inuyasha-sama. A true show of strength would be that you wait until both of you are ready…"

Inuyasha said nothing as he stared at the flea in utter confusion.

"… Second, you must realize that this must be permanent. Only with the conscious consent of both could the bond be formed, but if you wish to keep the bond, you must never be with anyone else…"

'Be… with…?'

"…And lastly, there would be a half and half chance that the child would be a hanyou or a human if Kagome-sama conceives."

"NANI?" Inuyasha yelled, echoing off the mountains.

He froze, stiff as a rock, but Myouga didn't seem to notice. "Why, yes. At least that is what has been concluded. You weren't the first hanyou to seek a human as a mate, after all. Though you are the first hanyou to seek a miko…"

Before he could say anymore, Myouga was pulled through the air and found himself staring into big angry golden eyes. "You listen to me, Myouga-jiji!" Inuyasha snarled, "If you ever EVER mention this 'advice' of yours to anyone, especially to Kagome, I will rip you apart so many times, you will become nothing but dust. You got that?"

Myouga shivered, "But… Inuyasha-sama. I was only trying to help you. Every male has to understand how to make sense of his urges."

"Urges! You… I am not having this conversation with you!" His face was bright red, "You know what? Fine!"

As quick as he could, he cut the string with his teeth and threw Myouga to the ground. "You win! Go and run away again! Just get out of my face!"

Myouga made a yell of joy as he immediately bounded away, hoping the hanyou wouldn't change his mind before he could make his great escape.

Inuyasha growled and crossed his arms tightly into his chest as he forced his hard blush away. "Stupid Myouga-jiji," he muttered to himself, "Who does he think he is?"

He sighed, 'Alone again. Seven days to go.'

Myouga wiped his brow, "Whew! Thank goodness I escaped."

As he bounced away into the night, looking for someplace warm and far away from the hanyou, he smiled to himself, 'Inuyasha-sama, you are more like your father than you'll ever know.'

To be continued…

**Hahaha… the good old "birds and the bees" talk. Anyways, I've always been under the assumption that Inuyasha is utterly confused by the social behaviors of Kagome's era, therefore he thinks that Kagome expects certain things from him. This is why although he is romantic with her he still is insecure about a lot of it. Hopefully, this will work for you, cause it's a rather important point in the story.**

**Okay… so… please please PLEASE review! If you do, I'll get the next chapter in faster.  
**


	11. Ch 11: Separation Anxiety

Chapter 11: Separation Anxiety

At such heights, wind blew rampant in the air without burden. Within minutes, Kagome grew tiresome of the hard wipes of her own hair on her face and she angrily tried to push the dark tendrils back. A few strands were drawn to the moisture of her lips and clung to them with an unexpected force that her hands couldn't seem to counteract. She sputtered indignantly to remove them, snarling at her failure. With one hand, she held back what hair she could, wishing at the moment that she had been smart enough to bring a hair tie. The miko barely noticed how Shippou tensed in his pink-balled form. He moved through air as fast as he could in the hopes that finding Inuyasha would relieve the wealth of stress in the air.

Things weren't fairing so well for the others either. Kirara especially was suffering. Not only was she burdened with finding the runaway hanyou by use of her keen sense of smell, but at the speed they needed to just barely match Inuyasha's speed, they couldn't afford to have anyone on the ground. Sango, Miroku, and Kohaku all rode on top of her. The three humans on her back fidgeted nervously and fought with themselves about what they could say to their friend to ease her anger, ease her upset. For the most part, they managed to hold their tongues. Only occasionally would Sango's voice echo lightly in the air as she soothed her neko-youkai companion. And as the sun set every night over the hills, they knew they couldn't afford to go any further. Kirara and Shippou were so physically exhausted by the end of each day, and they silently wondered if they would make it through the ride back in one piece.

Three nights had come and gone since they began their journey, each of them the same… and silent… and Kagome was no better emotionally than the moment she realized Inuyasha had disappeared. No one could blame her. In fact, every one of them agreed he deserved more than a slap on the wrist for this one. Especially what with Kagome losing her entire life to be with that selfish hanyou.

Once again, they sat in a circle around a flaming fire, heads bowed low and eyes sternly focused on the embers. Kagome dug through her yellow bag for their meal, the last round of ramen she had left. At first, the others quivered at the idea of taking some of Inuyasha's oh-so coveted noodles, but at least in Kagome's mind, his loss was no loss of theirs. They patiently waited for their food, hands folded in lap, until only one Styrofoam cup remained. As the others devoured the meal, Kagome stared long and hard at the up-cooked ramen in her hand. Somehow, eating instant noodles never was the same after meeting Inuyasha. Maybe because it was something he loved, she always thought of him when she thought of ramen. She always thought of that childlike excitement in his face whenever she made it for him, even if he didn't much care for anything else she made. 'Inuyasha… you jerk… I trusted you, and you…'

Her appetite was gone in an instant. She dropped the cup back into her backpack and zipped it up with a hard tug. Sango noticed, "Kagome-chan…"

"He'll probably want this. I should save it. It's the last one we have."

As the sunset gave way to a starry, cloudless night, Kagome couldn't shake the feeling that she had it in every capacity to keep going. She had legs, didn't she? What was stopping her? But then again, she understood as well as anyone that she didn't have a clue where she was going without the nose of a youkai, and even now, she didn't have the heart to put any more pressure on Kirara or Shippou. Perhaps when her mood lifted, she would thank the two properly.

The two youkai fell asleep with ease after dinner. Sango and Miroku also settled in for the night side by side, but Kagome knew they weren't really sleeping. Not yet. They were secretly staying up to make sure she didn't do anything crazy, like go off on her own looking for Inuyasha. She scoffed inwardly. No trust. Then again, whoever said this team was known for being trustworthy? Even their fearless leader had abandoned them.

But no… she couldn't blame her friends for their mistrust. Every moment she waited, Kagome's anxiety grew. The air was restless too; empty of Inuyasha's presence and so, full of fears. What did she understand about this world besides being hunted? The years of close-calls made her too cautious to be more than a mile from him. At least before, she had a place to go where she could be safe, 500 years in the future. Now, there wasn't a place in the world that compared to the comfort of Inuyasha's protection.

Kagome chastised herself for how paranoid she was being, and wrung her hands together. 'Get a grip, Kagome. You're a big girl now. What would Inuyasha think if he saw you acting so afraid?'

She imagined what his look might be, staring back at her with crooked lips and eyebrows, ears twitching ever so slightly in the way she loved. 'Ha… He always did think I was a coward, that baka.'

In her mind, she could see him scowling at her and rolling his eyes, demanding that she calm down, and telling her in the gruffest way he could muster that he wouldn't let anything happen to her. She sighed. Even his insensitive remarks had a way of moving her.

Inuyasha… 'Oh… He'll be fine, too. He's been living on his own all his life.'

Not even her own thoughts believed her. As she so painfully recalled, she wasn't the only one to have close-calls. How many times had she come across him, sprawled on the muddied ground, face-first in his own blood? How many times had she wrapped his wounds with the tenderness of a mother to a newborn babe? How many times had she watched him suffer, only hoping that he would pull through so that she could keep living, keep breathing, keep loving? If she wasn't there to help him now…

For three days straight, she had been forcing herself to be angry. Every flaw she could find in him, she did. Every petty fight and glare. Every bitter memory that she had so foolishly forgotten for his sake. But she couldn't be angry anymore. What strength she had left she used now for her own sorrow, twisting it around her until she felt suffocated by the squeeze. There was no home left to run to when things got bad. Not anymore. There was only Inuyasha.

'Why, Inuyasha? Why would you leave? And what's more, why wouldn't you even tell me?'

"Kagome-chan..."

Nothing but a whisper in the wind, at least the voice managed to remind the miko that she wasn't really alone. Kagome smiled lightly. She knew they wouldn't sleep until she did. "Nani?"

The miko heard a shuffling behind her as Sango got out from under her blanket and the light crunch of snow as she came forward. Kagome gasped slightly as Sango draped a blanket around her shoulders. Kagome smiled her thanks as the exterminator sat down beside her, and continued staring out into the empty night only to see every dreadful possibility before her. Sango spoke up, "You really should get some sleep, Kagome-chan."

"Keh. You think I'm overreacting?"

Her words were tight and clipped, filled with a stubborn nature that Sango had grown accustomed to, but had never heard through this individual. The exterminator smiled warmly at the word so lovingly adapted from the hanyou. She shook her head and tried to be as encouraging as possible, "No. I don't, actually. But I do think that whatever is going on, we're going to need you at your full strength."

"What strength, Sango-chan? Not even Inuyasha has that kind of faith in me."

The fear ricocheted through Kagome's words and breath, pulsing so hard that the ground must have cried for her. Brave Kagome, without her true companion, without any retreat, was as vulnerable as any other; weak even in strength. Sango's smile faded as she realized she had no idea how to comfort her dear friend. "Kagome-chan…"

"It just doesn't make any sense. Why would he leave so suddenly, without saying a word to anyone? Why in the world couldn't he tell me?"

Sango put her hand on Kagome's shoulder and massaged it gently, a gesture that didn't nearly express the magnitude of comfort intended. "I don't know, Kagome-chan. I don't know. Although I wholeheartedly agree that he's a complete idiot for doing this, Inuyasha must have his reasons."

Staring into the night sky patched with black clouds, she wagged her head almost inconspicuously, "What reason could there be that I shouldn't know about?"

"You know Inuyasha. He hates to drag you into anything uncertain. And it isn't exactly the first time he's kept secrets for your sake."

Kagome's eyes widened, not with hope, but with a new fear, and stared back at her friend in desperation, for an answer to prove her wrong. "Sango-chan, you don't think… you don't think he's gone after Kikyo again, do you?"

Sango, having realized she might have just added to Kagome's fears, worked quickly to correct herself, shaking her head wildly. "No, no, no. That's not what I mean, Kagome-chan. And I don't think he went to see Kikyo. I just think he's willing to do anything to keep you out of trouble, even if it means keeping you in the dark half the time. It's stupid, but that's just how he is."

Kagome paused several moments as though in deep thought before asking, "But what if something happens to him?"

"He'll be fine. He knows how to take care of himself."

Kagome pulled her knees slightly farther into her chest. 'Yeah,' she thought, 'But… it was my turn to take care of him. We were supposed to take care of each other.'

"Get some rest, Kagome-chan. Make sure you have enough strength to osuwari him until he learns to heel."

Kagome managed a chuckle, and nodded her head.

When she settled beside her friends, she let her gaze linger for a few moments on the dying fire. The last light for miles to come. Once again, they would sleep in complete darkness. Just before she closed her eyes, she whispered into her blanket, "Please, Inuyasha, just stay safe."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

An unknown sense deep within the confines of his nature led him to wherever he needed to go. The scent of the air was crackling, an odd paradox against the soft and woeful murmurs of the wind, the whistles of a mystery left unsolved. Instincts battled inside of him, shattering him slowly until he risked losing the will-power to do anything but lie down and die. The want to go on collided callously with the need to turn back, to find salvation in the arms of the one who had marked his heart.

Four nights, alone. In the pitch blackness, at times he was almost certain he could hear her calling out for him. Through the sounds unheeded by memory, he found himself often wondering if she was looking for him. She must have been trying by now, for it had been days since his departure. But no group of humans and puny youkai could ever be able to track him. He was far too quick, he assured himself at least. But along with the satisfaction that his plan was working out came the disappointment that it would be days more until he saw Kagome again.

Four nights, alone. It had been too long.

He pushed his forlorn thoughts aside as a new smell permeated his nostrils, or rather many new smells. 'Youkai. Just like Myouga-jiji said.'

As he passed over the hill, the castle that he had been following for years finally came into view once more. It was still as sickly as he remembered. Over time, Inuyasha had begun to associate the darkened purple hue of the building with the ever-lingering presence of death. The palace was such a surreal thing. Given the knowledge that Naraku somehow had the power to make it disappear, Inuyasha had half-believed that it would vanish as soon as he laid eyes on it. But there it was, seemingly waiting for him, and it was obvious it had been there a long time, for the number of youkai littering the land before it's still-standing barrier were of greater size than any he remembered.

Something unnerving prodded his mind, and his mind countered back into nothingness, 'I am _not_ afraid. I can take these bastards easily. Wouldn't be the first time I've won all by myself…'

For a moment of inner strength, he grasped the rosary and the locket chain, tangling them into his fingers. His restless fingers had long ago memorized the edges and contours, the textures, and the overwhelming nearly-physical sense of belonging that permeated his thoughts at a single touch. The burgeoned power that had remained intact even with the break of half a century. A sudden rush of emotion compelled him to let go of them for his own sake, and he resolved to clench his fist to fill the odd emptiness in his palm. He dared not remember the last time he had to fight completely on his own. With no friends, no mission, no real reason to keep on living.

'Kagome…'

Something relentless and true had him in a constant state of anxiety. The realization that he couldn't remember a simple few days without her drew a gentle whine from him. Seconds had been tolerable, minutes had been irritating, hours had been aggravating, nights had been infuriating, but anything over a day's time had been unbearable. For two years, he hadn't been able to figure out this untamable need to be close to her. Perhaps to make up for his confusion, he had somehow spawned the idea that it was just because of the jewel shards. To even consider such a thing now would be a dishonor not only to himself, but to the many months of waiting in sorrow for her return. Four days might have passed and left him in one piece, but he might not be so fortunate on the long way back.

'Keh. Since when do I _need_ the wench every fucking second? I can take however long I need. Not like it'll make any difference with her.'

A random image of Kagome flashed through his mind, face flush with her frustration and eyes flaming with her passionate fervor. Beautiful even as she was angry, the echo of an 'osuwari' in his memory caused his ears to twitch out of instinct before his senses could remind him that it wasn't real this time. He sighed heavily when he considered what he could expect upon his return. But there was not a word she could possibly say that would hinder the happiness he would feel when he saw her again.

Scanning over the long stretch of youkai, he assured himself that his actions had been in the right. 'Good thing I didn't bring that wench along. Who knows what kind of trouble she'd get into…' his ears drooped low, '…Kagome… You're safe, aren't you?'

The vehemence of her anger was replaced in his thoughts with her clean serenity, a splash of morning's dew on his frayed nerves. Breaking through his stubborn denial, she was a balm on his heart, a wave of absolute meaning, a brush of something warm and sweet through his veins. Her movements were thick in the air as her smile surpassed time and space and physical truth. Her skin illuminated in the contagious darkness, like moonlight that had escaped the clutches of the possessive moon, breaking free and burning bright against all things black and cruel. The light was held for only him, and she alone guided him through the obscure, the cold. And should he be required to do the impossible just as she had, there wasn't a doubt in his mind that he would so long as he had breath in him.

An unbridled desire to shelter her from harm upwelled with an odd feeling that he could just as easily lose her as miss her. Every moment apart reminded him how very lucky he had been so far, how much there was to lose. Singed with a worry that hadn't dimmed in the slightest since he had left, his heart throbbed at the thought that anything could happen to her in his absence.

Out of worry that his fears would take him someplace he could not go, he brushed them aside. 'Keh, you know she is, baka. Those pathetic humans aren't _completely_ useless.'

He breathed deep before he set off down the path, not even trying to mask his arrival from the youkai between him and his goal. Rocks crumbled beneath him as he leaped softly. 'Just get this over with. Once you've got these bastards out of the way, finding those shards will be all too easy.'

As Inuyasha had expected, a darkened growl broke through all others, "Hanyou…"

The word must have been heard by all, for each youkai within view turned their heads simultaneously in Inuyasha's direction. Inuyasha smirked as they each erupted into growls of their own, meant to tell him that he was first to die. The one who had pointed him out rose up onto his haunches, towering high enough to be distinguishable from the others. "Fool. What makes you think any of us will let you leave alive?"

The hanyou made no sign of fear or hesitation as he pulled Tetsusaiga out of the scabbard. The thick screech of metal was met with a flash of yellow light as the katana expanded into a huge weapon of power. He held it into the air and grasped the hilt tight, "This."

A swing of his mighty sword, and the flames of power shot forth, intent on killing the enemy no matter how many times it was needed, "Kaze no Kizu!"

………………………………………………...

The sounds of the valley were music to his ears. The hum of a vigorous wind pushing past the somewhat muffled sounds of pain and light. Giddy anticipation flickered through the reflection of the water as his face hovered above, rippling as droplets fell to the large puddle. He smiled.

His claws rubbed against the edges before his fingers grasped the cloth that fell just over his wrist. The new material was oddly comforting, familiar, and invigorating, as though it ached just as much as he did for power. The ache for blood to feed into the lighter red of the woven threads. His eyes fell to the sleeve as his eyes sparkled in triumph behind a passive face, 'I remember this… It is perfect.'

His ears swiveled back as the sound of light footsteps came closer and closer, until the sounds stilled many feet away from him. His eyes turned to the side, but he did not move his head or body to meet the gaze of his companion. As one of his palms caressed the red fabric of his new clothing affectionately, the other palm grasped the hilt of Chisaiga, bleeding into it the purpose of its birth, breathing fire into its every edge with the will of a dominating youkai. Somehow the weapon always answered back, shadowed him over with an immortal presence, an inevitability, a physical longing.

"My wait is finally over. At last, I bring my deepest desires to shape, I put my enemies to shame."

He lowered his arm and turned his head, just enough for his profile to be visible. His eyes were closed, calm, majestic. A light fan of wind lifted his hair for but a moment and then fell again over his cheeks. "You know what to do, Kikyo. And you would do best not to disappoint me."

A cry from somewhere outside echoed even through the stone of the castle. The cry of a battle.

"Do not fail me."

To be continued…

**Teeheehee… Fun!**


	12. Ch 12: Truth in Shadow

**Fluff! Where are you? Aaaaaaahhh! I suppose it can't be there when the romantic couple is separated, but damn it, I want to write it! It's all there in my head and I have no place in put it at the moment. . **

**(sigh)… I guess I just have to make up for it by making this a little more… interesting…**

Chapter 12: Truth in Shadow

Dropping on one knee and thrusting the tip of Tetsusaiga into the ground, Inuyasha panted hard as the cries of the remaining youkai made his ears throb. In seconds, the desert landscape was empty, with nothing but a thick breeze of youkai dust. The corpses that had not disintegrated reeked with blood, and Inuyasha wrinkled his nose in disgust as the dust cleared. More youkai than he could possibly count, and he came through none worse for the wear.

As he moved to rise, his skin burned with the harsh reminder that his wounds were drying around his gi. 'Perhaps not.'

With a grimace and a hiss of pain, he managed to pull the clothing away from his chest. The success was more of a failure, for fresh blood began to ooze from the lacerations. He sucked in a breath and silently thanked the fates that he was hanyou. With a glimmer of encouragement that his strength had got him this far, he pushed aside the sting and rose to a standing position.

His eyes instantly lit up at the sight of the barrier surrounding the castle, glowing with an electric purple. After Naraku's death, the youkai must have sensed that the shards were here and unprotected. Unfortunately for them, with the barrier still in place, they had little to do except wait for something to happen. Inuyasha smirked and gently walked towards the barrier, dragging Tetsusaiga behind him and leaving a line in the dirt.

'That's it for the tough part. Now all I have to do is find those shards and I'm outta here. Good thing, too. These wounds fucking sting,' he thought with a light snarl.

When he figured he was close enough, he raised his sword high and waited for it to turn a dark red color. Once it was ready, with a heave and a loud grunt, the blade crashed against the ground and erupted into light. The already rampant wind sped up as the large purple barrier began to tremble and blister. Within moments, the barrier melted away, crest to bottom, and the world was quiet once more. Inuyasha proudly eyed the scar of broken earth running from his the tip of his sword to where the barrier once stood. Smirking as his success, he sheathed the sword and set off towards the castle.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Odd," the monk mumbled to himself as his gaze fell to the horizon.

A wind caught his hair and lifted it over his forehead as his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Sango, who at the moment was turning over dirt to put out the fire, looked up. "What is it?"

It took a few seconds for him to realize he was being questioned, and he shook his head slightly to pull himself out of his deep thoughts and he glanced back at his wife. "Didn't you feel it, Sango?"

Kagome had half-zipped her backpack when she suddenly recognized Miroku's pensive gaze, and paused. Sango came next to him and looked towards the same horizon, her voice strangely wavering as she spoke, "Feel what?"

"That enormous jyaki. Last night, I know I felt it. Like hundreds of youkai were gathered somewhere to the far north. Just now, it's like it disappeared in an instant."

Sango thinned her lips and grimaced, "Now that you mention it, I do remember feeling something enormous last night. I-I thought I was crazy. How could there be so many youkai in one place?"

Kagome came up beside them with Kirara in tow and Shippou still fast asleep in her arms. "You both felt this? And now the jyaki is gone?"

Miroku grimaced and shook his head incredulously, "Exactly. Like… maybe they had dispersed or something, or maybe were killed."

The miko's gasp drew their attention. "Kagome-chan?"

Kagome's eyes lit up in concern. "If there were hundreds of youkai out there, and then they suddenly disappeared, couldn't that mean that…? Inuyasha…"

She trailed off and put a hand to her mouth. Sango sucked in her cheek as she thought about it, and then replied, "Well, then that's good, isn't it? If it is Inuyasha, that means he's beaten them."

"But if there were hundreds of them, and he was fighting alone, he could have been hurt. Maybe even…"

"Kagome-sama, you mustn't think like that," Miroku chided with a stern, yet caring voice.

Her lips quivered, and that look of pensive thought passed over her. Long ago had they memorized that look about her, that worry that made her both a saint and a good friend. Doe eyes shining in the winter sun, the dark color pulsated like the beat of a heart, like a timid rush. She turned to them with her innocent eyes, "Onegai… Can we please leave now? I beg of you."

As much as they hated the idea of heading straight into the unknown, they hadn't the hearts to refuse their dear friend. And this little searching game had gone on long enough. As though it had been a waste for her to ask, Sango and Miroku instantly got to their feet. While Miroku gathered the last of their materials and went to wake Kohaku, Sango looked down towards the neko-youkai. "Kirara, how are you feeling?"

As if in answer, the tiny kitty transformed into a ferocious saber-toothed beast. Though reluctant to be a bother, Kagome gently nudged the sleeping kitsune in her arms. He awoke with a sound of surprise and stared up at the miko with his eyes still drooping innocently. Her gaze pleaded with him as a gentle voice warmed his heart, "Shippou-chan. I need you now more than ever. Please… we need to leave right away. Something doesn't feel right, and I can't wait any longer."

Shippou rubbed his eyes and heaved a heavy sigh, "Inuyasha no baka. He'll pay for making us do this."

Kagome smiled.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

'Kagome… I'd dare say I even miss your mindless chatter. Anything but this.'

It was true. The long hallways of Naraku's castle were more than just eerily quiet. He had experienced the eerily quiet, on more occasions than he would have liked, but this silence, this air was emptier than empty. Not even a gush of wind was there to remind him that the air was thin enough to breathe. Perhaps it was foolish to think so, but he had half-suspected at least the crackling of fire. No torches lit the way. Only with his keen amber eyes was he able to find his way through. Though at times, the darkness did feel consuming, and even the all-powerful hanyou had to pause now and then to adjust his senses. Agitated by the silence and his discomfort in response, he stepped roughly, enough to kick up a little dirt and make the walls echo.

Within minutes, he realized that he was walking through a dungeon. The scent of death still clung to the skeletons kneeling against the bars, arms outstretched into the walkway, bodies prostrated in prayer. Inuyasha covered his nose with his sleeve as he quickly made his way passed the chambers. When he finally found some stairs, he sighed in relief. Once he climbed them, the scenery didn't get any cheerier, but at least the air flowed normally here. His hands grazed the walls. They were more defined, smoother. Naraku's scent, old and faint, still clung to the air. Odd, since neither air nor stone could hold a scent this long, as least he didn't think so.

The companionable silence and faint stench of his enemy did more than just aggravate what was left of his nerves. They also cruelly reminded Inuyasha that for the first time in years, there was nothing to soothe his rising anxiety. With the others around, especially Kagome and Shippou, Inuyasha had had a reason to step up and be brave. When the others were so unsure, what choice did he have but to prove to them that they would always win? Every one of them had a weakness, and Inuyasha liked to think that he had at least somewhat managed to lift their spirits. Even with his gruff attitude, they seemed to understand what he really meant.

What they might not have understood was how, in secret, they had done the same for him. And they may not have understood that it was always their weaknesses that made him stronger. Who had he to be brave for now? Were Kagome beside him at that moment in the darkness, she would probably have been huddled against him, clinging to him like there was no tomorrow. And he would have had to roll his eyes and tell her that he would protect her… Would have had to hold her close and stop her incessant blubbering… Would have had to draw his strength from the strength she couldn't see within herself…

He ignored the billowing ache inside him as another smell came to him. The scent of the shikon no tama. The shards…

As fast as his wounds would allow, he kicked up his feet and moved towards the direction of the smell. The scent was strong in his nostrils. Strong enough to be mere feet in front of him. Yet with every step, the scent neither waxed nor waned, and the shards were nowhere in sight. A distant thought of recognition assailed him. A memory that encompassed years of searching through the dark, looking for the fragments just out of sight, perhaps around the next obstacle. A glimpse of what had been his life, frustrating and burdensome and yet fulfilling in the strangest ways. He somehow had come to treasure the journey much more than the goal, and perhaps they did too for the same reasons. Only this time, the hanyou was alone, thinking of nothing but an end to the darkness.

Faint whispers of curses dripped from his lips, barely strong enough for Inuyasha to hear, himself. His body dripped too, of blood. His battle wounds left a trail of scarlet drops behind him, making barely audible pitter-patters in the dust.

A glow awoke his senses, though it took a few moments for his mind to register the sight. Distant in the never-ending black, it seemed almost angelically white. It wasn't until his eyes adjusted that the color melted into a soft purple. Like refractions of light through water, the color pulsed and writhed violently. Inuyasha's speed picked up. The frame of a doorway passed just above his head, and he found himself suddenly in a vast chamber. Thick air blistered his eyes, but his nose was bombarded with the smell of the shards. From the center of the room came the source of the purple light. A barrier.

There, behind the flashes of purple, a small wooden stand held up the shikon shards.

Inuyasha didn't stop, didn't think. The shards were there, so close the smell burned his sensitive nose. So ready… so eager to be snatched away from the empty castle of putrid air and emptiness. Abandoned pieces of power that he had craved so long for his own power would soon become the means to fulfilling his love. The evil that saturated the jewel would be freed with the pure wish of a tainted soul. The goal of his lonesome journey nipped at his mind and heart. An image of his Kagome's joyful face brushed through him, electrocuted his body into action and pierced the nerves of his hands.

Without even pausing, his hands drew Tetsusaiga from the sheath and flung it high above the hanyou's head. The blade barely had the time to glow red. In a cry that shook the desolate walls of the hallways, Inuyasha thrust the sword through the air and into the ground. A familiar pulse of light escaped in the direction of the barrier. He watched.

The vision in his mind of the barrier melting away collided with the contrast in his eyes, so shocking to his system that his mind could have snapped. The breaking away of fantasy from reality wrenched a hard gasp from him as everything and anything around him erupted. His expectations shattered so fast, he barely had the time to question what was going on. Information came to him separately, incoherently, sporadically, and the only thing he could understand were the booming noises, the flashes of what could only be described as a kind of black energy, and a rush of pain through his skin and bones. Somewhere amongst it all, his feet lost touch with the ground, or at least he had lost the feeling in his limbs. He screamed loud and hard, in brutal anguish.

Out of the corner of his eye, he registered the sudden discoloration of the barrier. The purple gracefully faded into a black that somehow shimmered, as the sight of the shards suddenly vanished into thin air. Slowly breeching insanity from the maddening shocks of pain through each of his limbs, he wasn't even able to understand why he couldn't see the shards anymore.

Blackness leaked from the center of the room and crawled out over the ground, walls, ceiling, and Inuyasha's body. What little light there was began to fade away as his mind receded into something cold and unfeeling. As though out of instinct, out of a wild necessity, the image of a pale-faced girl with ebony hair broke through his screams of pain, and he struggled. His burning muscles tensed hard though the hanyou did not have the brain power to feel it. But with every passing echo of his cries, he felt his mind being pulled under deeper and deeper, until there was no such thing as breath or heartbeat, until he would have welcomed death with open arms were it not for the vision in his head.

"_Kagome… what do you wish?"_

_Her delicate hair tossed lightly in the gentle wind, contrasting with the pinkness of the sky at the evening yielded to her. Her pale face illuminated in the final rays of a setting sun, and her laughter infiltrated the feeling of absolute cold. The brown color of her gaze reflected back to him, amplified by the clear waters of her love, of her unrequited devotion. She smiled brightly though her eyes were growing damper. In another other place and time, he would have confused the wetness for a sign of pain… Not here. Here… somehow… he saw the happiness painted in her clear waters._

'Kagome…' even his thoughts were mumbling as he slipped away, 'I… I'm sorry… So sorry…'

Something else slipped into his thoughts. Something he couldn't even begin to understand. The vision of a tall figure, covered entirely in shadow, with long hair flowing in the violent wind. With a sweep of the head, the gaze of malicious amber eyes bore into him. White hair framed the familiar amber eyes, and Inuyasha'a very thoughts gasped.

'What…'

A horrid laughter echoed through him, sounds that confused him because the voice was so much like his own, and yet not at all. What was this laughter? Why did the sight of himself fill him with dread?

The shadows enveloped the reflection of Inuyasha and the cheerful image of Kagome's face. It soon fell over his eyes, his soul, his body, and not even the powerful hanyou could stop himself from being pulled away… away…

'……… Kagome…… I love you.'

To be continued…

**I am sooooo evil right now. I know! It's completely terrible! But you can kill me later. At least let me finish the story first. Lol! Maybe I can appease you with more fluff. Right now, it's kinda hard considering that Kagome and Inuyasha are separated, but what can I do? **

**I really REALLY hate to leave the chapter like this, but if I don't, my chapter segments will get all screwed up for a while. I'll try to get the next chapter out sooner to make it up to you, but I can't make any promises. In the meantime, please take a few seconds to tell me how I'm doing. I really hope I ain't losing anyone, and I want to be sure I'm still going acceptable work. I would appreciate it greatly.**

**Goodbye, Adios, Al Wiedersen, and Namaste.**

**P.S: Just in case you were wondering and sending me good vibes, I got the letter two days ago and… I'm in! Next year, I'll be studying in Spain! **


	13. Ch 13: Shikon no Tama

**Why is it that whenever I think I'll be able to update early something else comes up that keeps me from doing any more writing? I'm sorry for the long wait. Finals are around the corner, so time will be scarce, but I will try my best to keep on schedule. **

Chapter 13: Shikon no Tama

Other than the howling wind, only Shippou's hard pants followed the group of six as they soared steadily above the mountainside. The kitsune thought that perhaps it would be easier to fly if he transformed into a large bird rather than his usual pink ball, but taking on the form of an actual animal wasn't something he was very accustomed to, and within an hour, he was exhausted. The four humans looked at him sympathetically, and Sango's voice broke through the winds, "I'm sorry, Shippou-chan. If only Kirara could carry a bit more, but she's already suffering as it is."

As the exterminator gently ran her fingers through Kirara's mane, the neko-youkai growled softly to signal her willingness to help no matter the cost. Shippou's eyes narrowed as he gasped out in earnest, "Nothing… to it… Don't… worry."

Kagome sighed. 'I'll really owe him something big after this. I wonder if I could somehow manage to make pocky…'

The miko shuddered as a snowflake landed on her exposed wrist. Instantly she retracted her hands into her sleeves and wrapped her arms around herself. Just when she thought the winter couldn't go on any longer, there was always yet another snowfall. She wouldn't have minded so much if she didn't have to travel through it, especially so high up where the wind was brutal. And if she was so freezing cold despite wearing warm shoes and a puffy jacket, the others had to be feeling so much worse.

She glanced at her friends. They too had recognized the change in weather, and they huddled together a little closer atop Kirara. At that moment, Kagome wanted nothing more than to cuddle against something warm, or rather _someone _warm. She could swear that if nothing else, during the winter season, she had to love Inuyasha for that old haori of his. Sango, who had thought ahead, pulled out something closely resembling a poncho and gave it to Kohaku, who rode in front of Miroku and herself. Miroku took her moment of distraction to position himself a little closer to the woman exterminator and reach his hand out towards his favorite place.

Kagome shook her head in dismay as she heard a loud 'eep' of surprise followed up by a slap. "I should have known, you hentai! Next time I'll push you off."

"But my darling wife…"

She glared viciously back at her husband, "Wife or not, keep your hands to yourself for once in your life!"

She turned back and leaned her face over her brother's shoulder and mumbled, "I make it my personal mission that you learn nothing from my baka husband."

"Kagome-sama!" Miroku suddenly hollered, drawing everyone's attention, "Look!"

Not a moment later, they passed over the peak of the mountain, and they all gasped at the sight before them. A vast opening within the forest, void of vegetation, so far and wide they couldn't see where it ended. What little snow that stuck to such a desolate place frosted over seemingly infinite pools of blood and dead youkai. But that wasn't what caught their attention. Just beyond the blood-stained landscape and atop a steep cliff lay the giant palace that had evaded them for so long.

"Is that… could it be…?" Sango stared, wide-eyed.

"Naraku's castle!"

Kagome felt herself quiver. 'Inuyasha…'

Sango gave the call, "Kirara, take us down."

The neko-youkai obeyed and was closely followed by Shippou. When everyone was safely on the ground, Shippou transformed back into a kitsune with a loud pop and a puff of air. He immediately plopped onto his back, his little feet sticking up in the air, and he gasped for the breath that he had earned for throughout the day.

The group scanned the remains of what must have been a battle. Even the humans could smell the rapid decay of youkai flesh, spiking the air with a humid feel. Miroku used his staff to nudge a corpse in the side and grimaced at the unnatural noise the action produced. Shippou suddenly put a hand to his nose and exclaimed in a nasally voice, "Eew! That smell! What is it?"

Sango hunkered down next to the body Miroku had been prodding at, "Youkai."

Kagome clutched her bow tightly to her chest and walked around carefully as though looking for something.

Miroku kneeled next to his wife and looked over the body. This one appeared to be a jackal-youkai, a breed that had gone down in history for being the most cunning murderer. Not even their own packs were very trustful of them, and yet this one took his last breath mere feet from the majestic peacock-youkai. The exterminator mumbled, "In all my years, I've never seen a slaughter this gigantic. I don't think I've even heard of one."

"Any idea as to why they were all in one place?" the monk asked.

"Not a clue. For most breeds, at most, they'd travel with packs of their own kind, but from what I can see," she looked around once again, "These youkai are all different. And their numbers are big enough that they all couldn't have just wandered here unless it was something of great importance."

"Are… are they all dead?" Shippou squeaked.

"Hai."

The kitsune sighed in relief.

"Look! Over here!" Kagome cried.

The others were fast on their heels to reach her. When they slowed down beside her, she was kneeling on one knee and staring hard at the ground. Her fingers reached out and touched a deep fracture in the ground, which extended many feet ahead. Clean cut and beautifully rigid, there couldn't be any question that it was recently formed. They knew the mark well enough to recognize it immediately. The others sat down beside her. "These marks," Sango said, "The Kaze no Kizu?"

Kagome did not reply, but she did grip a piece of the broken earth in her palm. Her eyes were so washy, it appeared as though she was in a trance. They were afraid to ask what she was thinking or feeling, but her anxiety was as thick as mud. Once the silence became all too unbearable, Miroku got to his feet and squinted his eyes as he looked around again. "These scars are all over the place."

Kagome's whisper of a voice as she mumbled the hanyou's name brought back her friend's attention. She clutched the bow tightly with both arms and furrowed her brow in deep concentration and confusion. "Why did you come here?"

"Kagome-sama, we should keep looking. Perhaps he is in the castle."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

The two youkai landed once more with the humans perched on their backs. From what they could tell, there hadn't been an entrance at the bottom of the cliff, so they found the most obvious entrance they could above the rock. They glanced around the castle. The entrance looked a great deal like a porch, for it was slightly elevated and was comprised of a long stretch of wooden planks. A roof sheltered them from the light snowfall, and they all realized that despite a regal design, the castle was sickly and not at all pleasant. The outside did have a certain cold beauty, but it wasn't something they could imagine living in, nor could they imagine that anyone would want to. There were no windows, or at least, none that they could see clearly. Mostly, the castle was made of stone and was supported by long planks of wood or steal. No light guided the way towards the main door. The walkway was filthy with the neglect of months.

Shippou sneezed as some dust puffed up under his feet. "Naraku wasn't that fond of cleaning, huh?"

Miroku ducked under a cobweb and stepped in front of the group, "It's been months since Naraku's death. This place probably hasn't been touched since."

Sango slowed slightly so as to stay close to her brother, who was starring off into space. She grimaced when she considered what he had to have been thinking, of the time he spent there under Naraku's control, without any recollection of who he was. If this suffocating emptiness had been anything like how the palace had been before Naraku's end, she didn't want to think about how Kohaku could be plagued by memories of his servitude simply by being here. She wondered if she should have left him behind.

To her surprise, Kohaku spoke up as though there were no painful memories in his heart. "For such a big place, I remember there was hardly anybody here. The others must have left."

"Or disappeared along with Naraku," the monk added.

"If that's the case, then shouldn't the castle have disappeared as well?" Sango asked.

Miroku bit his inner cheek, "Naraku controlled everything by magic. Not only people, but objects and places. If this palace is still standing, it could mean that there was enough magic put into this place for it to sustain itself for awhile."

Miroku nodded his head towards the door, signaling Kirara to help him push it open. He pressed his shoulder against the rotting wood and waited for her to get into position. When she had her forehead firmly pressed against the door, they both heaved with all their might. The door fell open and echoed loudly as it hit the wall on the other side. Dust from the door filled the air, and Shippou covered his nose again. "This place isn't exactly what I would call magical."

"Perhaps not to a youkai, but even humans can feel things out of the ordinary."

The monk stopped and closed his eyes tightly as he thought out loud. "Not even years of holy training could have prepared me for this feeling."

"What is it, houshi-sama?" Sango asked.

"It's confused," Kagome chimed in delicately.

"Kagome-chan?"

She stared off into the darkness of the hallways, perhaps seeing the things that no one else could see, "Miroku-sama. That's what it is, isn't it? I feel it too. Like a kind of confused aura, torn… agitated."

Miroku smirked wryly and stepped forward again, "Glad it isn't just me. It might be just the effects of the castle or it could be the dying jyaki of Naraku. Anyway, I think we should all stay as close together as possible."

Without warning, Kagome shot off and ran into one of the hallways. "Kagome-sama!"

They didn't hesitate as they sprung after her. Kagome had the advantage of a flashlight to lead the way, and it was only by her distant light that they were able to follow safely. "Wait! Kagome-chan!" Sango called out.

"Kagome!" Shippou cried before he tripped over a pot hole in the way.

The others sped on past him and he scrambled to his feet, "Aaah! Wait for me! I'm just a kid!"

By the time the kitsune got off running again, the light from Kagome's flashlight was fast fading. Given a few moments, he could have used his youkai senses to adjust his eyes to the dark, but with the others taking off so quickly, he couldn't afford to get left behind. Not in this dark and gloomy place.

A sharp corner caught him by surprise. He collided head first with the wall. At the speed he was going, the impact was hard. His ears picked up the sounds of crumbling rock, and he instinctively covered his head as panic took over. When a few flakes of rock fell on his face, he pulled his body in tighter and shook his tail rapidly. And then, all was still. Daring a peek, he glanced up towards the wall, which was still intact.

He didn't have the time to breathe a sigh of relief as he scampered on to find the others.

When he caught sight of his friends once again, they were standing inside a room with their backs towards him. He growled innocently as he jumped on to Miroku's shoulder. "What's going on? Why did everyone run off?"

Miroku's shocked expression broke through the kitsune's frustration. He followed his line of vision until he too laid eyes upon the last thing they expected. Sitting upon a wooden stand in the corner of the barely lit room were all missing shards of the Shikon no Tama. "Nani?"

"I hardly believed myself when I sensed their presence," Kagome commented in disbelief, "Why are they still here?"

Miroku and Kohaku shrugged, and turned as they heard Sango's deep gasp. "That's it! It must be!"

"What is?"

"That's why all the youkai were here. They sensed the jewel shards, and they could smell that Naraku was no longer protecting them."

"Then why couldn't they make it inside?" Kagome asked.

Miroku thinned his lips. "Some barriers can last for years without dimming. It's possible that when Inuyasha showed up, he destroyed the barrier and the youkai before any of them could find a way inside," he sighed, "Though that doesn't explain why Inuyasha came here in the first place."

Kagome hesitated several seconds before taking soft steps towards the shards. As though drawn by the broken aura of the pieces, the large hunk suspended on a chain around her neck was pulsing with every sway of her legs. The metal chain grew slightly hot on her delicate skin though she did not take notice. What she did notice was the feeling of magnetism flowing through her veins, warm and dense, just like the feeling she always had when she used her powers of purification. In a moment's time, she realized that the jewel knew it could be completed right here and now. That desire, that magnetism that enveloped her body left her memory spent, and she lost track momentarily of why she was there.

The ends of her fingers trembled as they came within millimeters of the rough and jagged edges. Sango's voice somehow pushed through the miko's thoughts as the exterminator replied to Miroku's statement. "Perhaps… Inuyasha is after the shards as well?"

That broke Kagome from the invisible draw of the shikon jewel. She turned her head fast, her hair whipping hard against her neck and cheek. Her voice was tight as she spoke, "No. He wouldn't. He gave up that dream long ago."

"Well, I… I had thought so too. But come to think of it, did he actually ever say that he didn't want the shards anymore?"

"No…" she paused and bit her lip, "…but if he had wanted the shards, he would have found them by now with his sense of smell, wouldn't he?"

"Good point," Miroku commented, "But I don't think there's any other reason for Inuyasha to come here. If he is looking for the shards, it's possible that he's gotten lost in the castle."

Kagome gazed back at the last shards, and narrowed her eyes as though she was daring them to deceive her. 'Inuyasha never gets lost,' she thought to herself, 'Not with his sense of smell.'

As though he had heard her thoughts, the kitsune mumbled to himself loud enough for the group to hear, "I couldn't even smell the shards when we came inside. The air was so still."

"Kagome-chan. Take the shards. We can't afford to have any unsavory youkai getting their hands on them."

She glanced back at the exterminator questioningly for a moment before nodding her head in agreement. Her friend was right. Even if they were looking for a runaway hanyou, they couldn't let this opportunity pass them by. As a miko, Kagome was obligated to protect those shards from anyone who might try to steal them and use them. With a gulp of air, she reached out with trembling fingers and felt the tips warm in the eerie glow of the shards. For some reason, the thought of a completed Shikon no Tama frightened her even more than the idea of having the shards scattered over Japan. Perhaps she understood subconsciously that it would mean an end to what they had been working for for years. Perhaps she knew that she alone had the power to complete this nearly-three-year quest. Perhaps the idea of something so powerful and so easily manipulated nestled in her clumsy hands frightened her. Perhaps the pulsing aura of the shards foreshadowed her most secret fears, stimulated the memories of desperation for power in the eyes of Inuyasha.

As soon as her fingers touched the shards, the suffocated fear locked away in her heart once again. The glow of the shards went from purple to white and illuminated the small room. Kagome released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Shaking off her worry, she pulled the large piece they had managed to keep from her necklace. She closed both palms together and shut her eyes tight. She didn't know what compelled her to try to connect the pieces in prayer, but she gasped mere moments later when she felt the shards merging in her hands. She opened her hands to reveal a fully-assembled Shikon no Tama.

"Kagome-sama… how do you do that?"

The miko shook her head lightly, "I don't know. I just felt like it was what I needed to do."

"Well, come on," Shippou exclaimed, "We still have to look for Inuyasha."

"… Yes," Kagome mumbled.

As they hastily made their way out of the room and back into the hallway, Kagome clutched the jewel in her hand. That feeling was back.

To be continued…

**Yeah, yeah. Dialogue, dialogue. Boring! Let's have some fun already! **


	14. Ch 14: Empty

Chapter 14: Empty

"Baka, baka, baka, baka, baka, baka, baka…"

Little Shippou alternated between two hands, pounding on his head repeatedly as his eyes filled with tears not only from pain but from guilt.

Kohaku and Sango continued coughing from the dust in the air and Miroku quickly inspected the situation. They had simply been walking down the same hallway as before. There had been no sign of any suspicious, not even a sound. Before they knew it, they were bombarded with rocks as pieces of the ceiling collapsed. They had backed away in time to avoid being hurt. Kagome, however, who had been directly beneath where the rocks fell at the time, did not fall back but rather instinctively ran forward.

While Miroku did not see Kagome fall, he still called out to her in a panicky voice, "Kagome-sama! Are you alright?"

Naturally, because she recognized the concern in the monk's voice, she shouted back quickly, "I'm okay. I made it through."

From the volume of her voice and how muffled it sounded, Miroku guessed that there was at least seven feet of rock between them. Not an incredible amount, but enough for a good long time of digging. Miroku called back, "We're fine, as well. Just hang tight."

Kagome panted for breath and put a hand over her chest to soothe her pounding heart. How grateful she was to have been quick enough to run forward rather than backward. If she had taken what little time she needed to turn and run back, she still would have been buried beneath the avalanche. Her pulse was fast and ardent, refusing to yield even as she realized there was no danger. Though she couldn't understand why such sturdy stone would collapse so suddenly, it wasn't the first time they had been caught on the wrong side of fate. Her other hand came up to clutch the jewel that dangled from the chain around her neck, just to make sure than it had made it through as well. It seemed just as tense as she was.

Shippou continued to berate himself for God-knew why, until Sango managed to grab his arms and keep him still. "Shippou-chan, what is it?"

The kitsune sniffled and looked up at Sango with big watery eyes. "I did it! It's my fault! When I was running after you guys, I hit the wall right there," he pointed to the rock pile, "I ruined it! I know I did!"

"Shippou-chan, don't cry," Sango soothed, "I'm quite sure that you had nothing to do with this accident."

"No! It was me! I damaged the rock!" He cried.

Sango sighed. She highly doubted that someone as small as Shippou could possibly damage stone enough that it would be weak enough to give way so easily. But Shippou did convince himself that he was big and strong, especially after being around Inuyasha for so long. Perhaps he was a little too confident in himself.

Miroku walked back and forth examining the pile. Once he was satisfied, he stated, "Okay. Looks like we'll have to pull off these rocks one by one. We should be careful not to bring more down from the walls. Everyone take a rock and let's get to it. Kagome, don't move, okay?"

She gave a nod, "Okay!"

The three humans and the two youkai began pulling the rocks off gently and carefully, one by one. Shippou and Kirara busied themselves with the smaller rocks, taking special care not to yank them out from under big rocks. Sango and Kohaku started by carrying a big rock far away from the pile. It was so dark without Kagome's flashlight to guide them, Shippou opted to use his foxfire.

Kagome closed her eyes and forced herself to smile a little, hoping that it would help her body to calm down. It helped greatly to know that Naraku wasn't there anymore. At any other place and time, she would have dreaded being somewhere so isolated. Here, the absence of life was of more comfort than she could ever explain.

Her flashlight had turned off when it had bounced to the ground. She picked it up again and turned it back on. As she directed the light towards the rock pile, she realized for the first time how large the collapse had been. It looked as though someone had placed a grenade inside the walls. She tried not to let the idea disturb her.

In the back of her mind, Kagome realized that there was a whole lot of nothing around her. The air, the smell, the energy that existed everywhere seemed here to be nonexistent. The quietness and lifelessness of the darkened hallway gave her an odd feeling of floating, like she had been suspended in the far reaches of outer space. She could not understand why she could breathe when there wasn't any air. As she tried to calm her body and soothe her nerves, her mind fell into a kind of meditative state, where all she knew was the stillness of the castle, only stillness. She didn't think to question why her body felt so indifferent to this feeling. Didn't think to question how her blood hovered within her veins. The emptiness filled her body as though she had died, as though her soul was being pulled from her so that it might diffuse the air.

A welcome calm fell over her, and even her mind was as blank as the hallway. She vaguely could feel her body becoming one with the air, and she did not fret. Everything was dark, thick, perfect in its vacancy. Tinted with nothing, spiced with numbness, and just before she felt as though she could fade away forever, a sharp energy shot through her spine and ran all the way to her neck and fingertips. Her breath caught in her throat and she choked slightly as her body so harshly returned to its normal state. As though weakened by her meditation, her skin mildly resisted her movement as she turned her head towards the hallway. Her flashlight shined into the corridor, finding nothing. But the sudden spark of life in the air refused to let her ignore the darkness. A breeze kissed her cheeks and twirled her hair, causing her face to quiver in utter shock. The feeling bombarded her, the realization that the air had come alive in less than a second. Fractions of a life force wafted to her, and the miko unconsciously grabbed onto the echoes of an aura.

Somewhere within the confines of her subconscious, she remembered this aura, and an image of an inu-youkai flashed through her mind. Funny, that the one image her mind chose was the image of her hanyou with glowing red eyes.

She didn't think. She ran.

Miroku stopped abruptly from digging when he heard footsteps quickly leading away on the other side, getting softer and more and more distant in sound. "Kagome-sama! No! Where are you going?"

No answer, but the footsteps continued to get softer and softer. "Kagome-sama!"

"What is it, Miroku?" Shippou asked worriedly.

"Kagome-sama is running away from us!" Miroku exclaimed.

Sango immediately pressed herself against the rocks and yelled loudly, "Kagome-chan! Come back! We need to stay together!"

When they didn't hear a thing, the team forgot all about their careful strategy. They pulled down as many rocks as they could as quickly as they could. Why their friend chose to run away from them all alone was beyond them. Kagome knew better than to wonder off alone, especially with the jewel. And she definitely wasn't the type to abandon them for no good reason. What if something happened to her? They soon realized their quick digging was a mistake. More rocks came tumbling down to replace the others. Miroku growled in frustration.

Sango spoke up, "Houshi-sama! We have to keep moving! Something isn't right! We'll have to find another way around!"

She didn't wait before she turned and ran, calling out for the neko-youkai behind her. Kirara transformed quickly and leapt off, followed closely by Shippou. Miroku hesitated for but a second as he looked back at the rock pile before he followed the others.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_A dust-filled street, wide and dirty, billowing sand into the wind. A village, rusted and abandoned, bore no resemblance of ever having been occupied. A violent sun scorched the dirt beneath his feet, the soil unfit for growth. _

_A sad realization plagued him, and he frowned. 'I have no memory of this place.'_

_He walked without taking a step through the empty streets. The buildings were vast and beautiful, suited most likely for noblemen. They were clean and untarnished by the decay of time. Perfect, and warm in a way that depressed him. They were lined on each corner with sakura trees, which were full of color and life despite the absence of water. Loose petals of pink littered the road and were made brown and wrinkled by the dry dust. _

_He came to a clearing where a bridge hovered across a dried river. As he came closer to it, he noticed how the grass was dead and delicate, and in some places, torn from the ground by the roots. It was here beside the bridge that he felt that odd pang in his heart, the knowledge of something terrible that his mind still persisted despite the pain. He crossed the bridge and between the creeks of wood heard laughter in the air. A laughter that shattered him. He shivered at its echo. The laughter left him. But as he reached the other side of the bridge, the laughter passed him again, only to stop abruptly behind him. A long pause followed, and he turned his face back towards the empty bridge. A figure appeared, small and timid, holding a ball in his little hands and his eyes staring into the empty streets. With eyes wide and innocent, the image murmured to himself, "H-hanyou?"_

_His body physically resisted the memory, and he shut his eyes tight. Another voice sounded, just as soft as the child's but far more dear to his heart. "Inuyasha…"_

_His eyes opened slowly, only to find himself staring up at Goshinboku. The world was alive once more, and the woman in the tree was smiling. The world bloomed, and the woman was smiling. _

"_Must you always be so tense?" She asked him playfully._

_With a smirk, he replied, "Keh! Someone has to be. How else would we be alive today?"_

_She tilted her head farther downwards, boring into him directly with her gaze. Half of her face was blocked from the rays of the sun, but she was nonetheless flawless. Her cheeks were tinted with their own life, in the bright shadows that only he could see. Lightly blushing, she must have known why he stared at her so eagerly. Her body had managed to come in tune with his. He felt his own cheeks reddening. _

"_You're hopeless," she stated._

_After a moment of thought, his voice replied in a softness without rival, "Perhaps, but only when it comes to silly wenches."_

_He should have realized what his statement sounded like, what it meant deep inside him. Maybe it wasn't such a huge surprise, that he was hopeless, because he was hopelessly in love with her. When he saw the flicker in her eye, his heart leapt into his throat. Too hard, to pull away from that fire. Too cruel a thing to deny her and the pull between them. It seemed meaningless to even try. Because he knew she loved him, it seemed as though there was nothing in the world that mattered as long as knew this. As long as she never lost sight of him._

_She repositioned herself on the branch so that he knew she was going to jump off. He barely registered it until she had fallen halfway through the air. She delicately plummeted to him like a fallen star, and he caught her gently at the waist. For a few moments, her feet hovered in the air; her eyes remained locked with his as his hold on her refused to decrease. Her eyes fell to his lips and without hesitation, she pushed herself forward and kissed him. The contact was light and quick. She pecked him with kisses lightly as she coaxed him out of his barrier. He couldn't help himself. He took the bait and gripped her tighter, sinking his lips into hers. The kiss breathed fire into his bones, electrocuted him as though it had been the first. An odd feeling registered that the memory of her had been too far off, too distant from him for such a long time, and he kissed her harder. As his heart relished in this gift, it also panicked, caved in desperation, 'I'd die without her!'_

_Her feet touched ground, and he was able to return her affections more delicately as he brought one hand up to cup her cheek and her neck. She cut wounds within him as her tongue darted passed their mouths to lightly touch his before she retreated once again. He took it as permission to deepen the kiss. His pulse accompanied the sounds of her wet kisses. His veins constricted and then loosened all in a second. A sweep of agonizing joy reminded him of how effortlessly she managed to kill him, little by little. Perhaps she didn't realize that she could be the death of him. The naïve girl had to idea how he needed her in every breath. And there wasn't a doubt in his mind that he would die for her. And there wasn't a damn thing in the world he wouldn't do to please her. And he knew body and soul that her love could always find him, could always possess him._

_How hard had he tried not to need her? How many moments had he wished he were a stronger man? For so long, he had wanted her to believe that he was a survivor. In her mind, he probably was. But he wasn't. He had not survived the life of a hanyou. No matter how hard he fought throughout his life, he had never lived through his memories, his pain. It was only when she came that he had been rescued. He was no survivor. It was she who had been his hero._

_Masked in the glory that was Kagome, he could feel himself filling with elation, with warmth, with starlight. Could she feel what he felt? Could she even begin to understand how much he cherished her? When their lips parted and he looked once more into her bright eyes, he thought… maybe… she could…_

"_Keh."_

_He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, breathing in her claiming scent. _

"_Inuyasha?"_

"_Hm?" He leaned back to look at her._

_Her small smile widened for but a moment, and she stared at him with all the trust in the world, as though she knew he would always protect her. "Tell me… do you like being with me?"_

_His breath caught in his throat. He tried to open his mouth, but couldn't seem to do it. Could he really tell her how much she meant to him? Were there even words to describe it? The words of a filthy hanyou should have meant nothing to someone as perfect as her. Though he knew that she never once shied away from his love, she had no idea what it was to be a hanyou or what it was to be with a hanyou. Surprisingly, she didn't look saddened by his silence at all. It was as though she had known the truth all along. She closed her eyes and leaned against his neck, letting her lips graze his skin as she mumbled, "Do you love me?"_

_When her breath shot fire into his skin, he shuttered and couldn't resist the words that spilled from him, "Y… yes."_

_He heard her sigh, felt her smile widen against him. The somersaults in his belly made his entire body dizzy. To know that such a simple thing could make her happy…He smiled._

_He pulled back to get a good look at her again, and grinned wide. But his gaze faltered. _

_Why was there fear behind her eyes?_

The air had come to life. For the first time since their arrival, Kagome could feel it on her cheeks as she ran through the darkness. The draw of the aura pulled her like a magnet down the long stone corridors. Somehow any recollection of her friends vanished from her thoughts. Mesmerized by the aura she recognized so well, she was powerless to stop herself from finding him, from flying back into his gruff but loving embrace. Her hanyou… _her _hanyou…

The glow of her flashlight shook with every leap she took. Given how fast she ran, her eyes could only barely register the solid ground. Just as the walls became suddenly wider, she lost track of the ground, and her foot caught a bit of rock beneath. She didn't know she had tripped until she hit the ground with a hard thud. The jewel on her neck hit the ground along with her and made a light ping against the stone. The sound echoed off the walls.

Kagome grabbed onto the jewel in an attempt to quiet its ringing. But just as her palm covered it, she realized that she could see. She looked up. She had come upon an opening between tunnels. It wasn't at all decorated, unlike the other rooms she had happened upon. This room seemed more like a giant cave. She looked towards the ceiling. Stalactites hung from every inch and a few of them dripped lightly with dirtied water. What confused her was the apparent increase of light here. She craned her head to the side to see a few torches scattering the walls… lit torches.

Her heart sank.

"Kagome…"

And her heart burst. Still lying on the ground as though she had no strength to stand, her eyes darted forward. Hidden in the darkest corner of the room, long hair and baggy clothes danced in the draft of the air. She smiled wide as she saw his smirk.

"Inuyasha…"

To be continued…

**As many of you are no doubt thinking right now, I am the biggest bitch in the world for leaving it here. But this chapter has had its run. I decided I just had to put some fluff in here. Honestly, I am going through withdrawals. But I hope you appreciate it. Anyways, finals are next week (damn quarter system), so I'll have enough typing on my hands. Luckily, they only last for three days, so once those are over, I'll have more free time for about a week. So, in between this super-fun Spain paperwork (of which there are about 50 pages), I will try my best to write some more of this. **

**As usual, I feed on reviews, so leave plenty of them. Toodles! **


	15. Ch 15: Manipulation

**14 reviews… so happy… so very happy… Really… I love you guys! I won't let you down.**

Chapter 15: Manipulation

Kagome's eyes glowed with relief as she stared at the hanyou across the room. Half of him lay in shadow, making the other half seem to dance in the light of the flames. The sight of him seemed rather godly, magnificent, if only because her eyes had ached for him for days. Her heart surged with a delight unsurpassed by any happiness before had. "Inuyasha…"

"Keh! How typical. If I ain't there to save you, you always fall flat on your face."

His arrogant demeanor cut through her unbridled joy like a knife to her core. Her smile broke away into a look of confusion before she slowly congealed her face to glare at him, eyes shining as she pulled herself to her knees. "What the hell is wrong with you, huh? Did you think it was funny? Did you think I was too stupid to notice? You pig!"

For some reason, Inuyasha seemed very level-headed as he sighed and looked off into the cave apparently disinterested in her ranting. It infuriated her all the more, "Let me tell you something! It is never, I repeat, NEVER okay to up and leave me like I'm a piece of garbage! I'm at least worth more than that! It is never okay to leave without telling anybody where the hell you're going or why! It is never okay to leave your friends without any protection from youkai! And it is certainly NEVER okay to ignore your girlfriend WHEN SHE'S YELLING AT YOU!"

She had to stop to catch her breath. The sound of her anger echoed off the walls six times, each time softer than the last but never less powerful. Kagome set her jaw and breathed hard through her nose as her own screams reverberated into her ears. She never thought she could be so angry. Inuyasha, oddly enough, was still calm and collected. She had no idea why. She had no idea he could ever be so calm. Was it really possible for the hot-tempered Inuyasha to be so patient with her anger? But he did turn his head towards her, finally acknowledging her existence if only questioningly. "Is that what you are, Kagome? Are you my girlfriend?"

"I…" she started.

Her body quite visibly shrank down. No, she had never thought her relationship with Inuyasha had a true title. What was she to him in certainty except a shard detector turned devotee. Somehow within the chaos of losing her home and finding love, she had forgotten that her love needed a name. She bowed her head for a moment and mumbled softly, "I… I thought I was, anyway. I..." her head shot off and her voice got louder, "If I'm not your girlfriend, then what am I?"

Bitterly smirking at her confusion, he hanyou shrugged nonchalantly, "Keh. Just making sure, is all."

"How can you be so calm about everything? Did you even miss you? Can't you even just hold me?"

Her sobs broke through her words, and her voice cracked despite her best effort to sound intimidating. Since when could she ever frighten Inuyasha? Somehow her feelings were an open book to everyone, and she hated herself for it, but at the moment had not the willpower to hide. The miko bowed her head once more and she stared at her knees as tears blurred her vision. She couldn't understand why Inuyasha was being so cold. It was like he didn't care that they hadn't seen each other in days. He didn't care, and it had been ripping her apart this whole time. How she missed him, how she worried about him. And there he was without a care in the world. She didn't know whether to osuwari him or to plead with him.

She did neither. She just sat there as tears poured out onto her cheeks. What hurt even more was that she wasn't in his arms yet. Every other time, he had put aside his pride to stop her cries. He wasn't moving a muscle now to comfort her. When her cries finally wound down to light hiccupping, she shut her eyes tight to block out the tears. "I missed you," she whispered.

After a few more moments of silence, she heard his soft footsteps coming forward. With a tug on her arm, he pulled her to her feet. She struggled to wipe away her tears. Not three seconds later, she suddenly found herself hauled against his chest with his arms wrapped tightly around. She gasped as the fierceness of his hold and looked up to find his eyes frighteningly bright. It unsettled her, the intenseness of his gaze. Passionate, possessive, devouring, as though he had been hunting her. Preying upon her most secret fears, his eyes demolished every bit of security she took from his presence. Her soul shuttered under his eyes, a fragile thing against the might of the hanyou, the odd, lustful greed that stole her away. The pulsating sparkle of his amber irises, the depth of his dilated pupils, omnipotent and tyrannical. She had never seen that look about him. But no… she had seen this look before, didn't she? When she had first met Inuyasha, he had looked like this when he tried to kill her… It scared her.

Before she had time to think about her odd emotions, the hanyou had his lips pressed hard against hers. She gave a light cry at the harshness of his lips, the raw brutality of his fangs. This wasn't the kiss she remembered, the kiss she cherished and held dear to her heart. Her body stiffened as his hold increased dangerously. One of his hands gripped her arm uncomfortably tight. The other held her to him by her neck, his claws grazing against her skin a little harder than they needed to, not enough to draw blood but enough to hurt her. Kagome didn't know what to think. What shocked her most was how she seemed to physically oppose his harsh affections. If his nonchalant lifelessness had offended her so, she should have welcomed passion, no matter how ardent. Wasn't it entirely possible that he had in fact missed her just as much as she did him, and that the long, pained absence had brought out a desperate kiss from him? Did she not feel the same need to grip him to her and never let go?

Knowing that she had found Inuyasha once again, feeling the familiarity of his aura encompass her, she forced down her tension, and focused only on her desperate need to be closer to him. She kissed him back, hard, digging deep to regain the passion that she remembered from their last kisses, seeking the flutter in her heart, the rapture of her love. Her knuckles turned white as her fingers clung to his haori, and they shook. She inwardly berated herself for her foolishness, pushed away the moisture in her clenched eyes, and put more work into the kiss. The affection was still nowhere to be found, and she could not understand why, and so convinced herself that she just wasn't trying hard enough. Her frustration was blinding her to his love, blinding her to trust. She couldn't let go of him now and risk losing him forever. He was her hanyou, he was her everything.

His hand came around her neck and rested on her throat, shaking slightly before she could feel it falling gently lower to her collarbone. Was he reaching out to her? Did he feel her hesitation? No… she couldn't hesitate! There was nothing to question! She was his, now and forever!

But she did question. She had to. Instead of feeling his palm falling lower and lower down her skin, she felt his palm encircle around the suspended jewel, and his pull on her necklace.

Kagome's eyes shot wide open as her defensive miko instincts came back full force. Without a second thought, she pulled from the kiss and pushed him away, putting miko energy into her hands out of habit. At the sudden pain of the magical power, the hanyou pushed away from her as well. Kagome fell to the ground once more as Inuyasha staggered backwards, cradling his cheek bone and neck as his skin burned. Kagome said nothing. She took in quiet ragged breaths and subconsciously wondered how she could do such a thing to the man she loved. Her abilities were powerful enough that she could have really hurt him. But her mind was screaming at her… he had tried to take the Shikon no Tama! And he had tried to distract her with a kiss! She quickly got to her feet and took ten frantic steps backwards. Inuyasha looked up at her once more. The burned skin was healing rather quickly, and the hanyou had raw hatred in his gaze.

Kagome clutched the Shikon jewel to her neck and shook her head in disbelief, "No… It can't be… You wouldn't…"

His grimace gave way to a satisfied smirk, beautiful in its repulsiveness. "Wouldn't I? Give me one good reason why I wouldn't?"

"Y-you haven't even tried once… not in years! You… you wouldn't!" she shouted loudly, trying to convince herself more than him.

Tears blinded her vision, and she took a few more uneasy steps backwards. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be! Nearly three years and there had been nothing! He had forgotten that dream! She knew he had!

All those months, she had kept the jewel always close to her for fear that he would steal it. And after months of seeing just how big a heart he had, her worry for the jewel was extinguished. There hadn't been a doubt in her mind that she would have given it to him if he had wanted it. But she had known that he was too good a soul to be seduced by evil power. She knew that he had come to understand that he was wanted just as he was, that he didn't need anything more than what he already had. If he hadn't, they would have been dead long ago. She knew it!

"What was the point in trying to go solo if I couldn't meld the shards back together myself?" he spat out, "It may have taken me three years to find all those shards, but finally your stupidity has paid off. I knew you would follow me, convinced that I actually gave a damn about you. I also knew that you would put those shards together the second you found them. And now that you have, I can finally use that jewel to become what I've always wanted…"

"NO!" Kagome screamed, as her heart began to give way.

"…A full demon."

A loud whimper issued from her as tears cascaded in waves down her dirty cheeks. As her heart began cracking beneath her ribs, she still denied what she had heard. She shook her head rapidly side to side; shut her eyes tight, trying to erase her hallucinations as she would a dream. But the coldness of his voice echoed in her ears with a malice as thick as blood. Her heart screamed a little as it broke in two.

'This can't be happening,' she shuttered.

"Give it to me."

Her head popped up and she stared at him with big doe eyes, looking confused at his command. He repeated, more ardently this time, and he cracked his knuckles next to his cheek so that she could see his claws, "I said give it to me!"

She tried to run. She truly did. But her feet would not move. Perhaps her mind and heart still could not comprehend why she would run away from the man she loved with all her soul. All that she could manage was to clench her teeth hard and rasp out through her tears, "No."

"You think I'd hesitate even a moment? I've put up with you weak humans for nearly three years, and I've been patient enough to be considered a saint. Now if you don't hand over that jewel to me, I will have no qualms whatsoever about ripping you apart. In fact, after three years of waiting, it would give me great pleasure."

When she didn't move or speak, he did the unexpected. He charged.

She ran.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"I think I've found a way," Miroku called, "Be careful though. We don't want another accident."

"There wasn't an _accident_ to begin with," Sango called back tightly as she cradled the crying kitsune in her arms, "It's okay, Shippou-chan. Don't listen to him. You know you didn't do anything."

"But I did. Kagome's lost because of me!"

"Listen… We have no idea why Kagome-chan wandered off, but it certainly has nothing to do with you. I promise you, you are in no way to blame for that rock fall. It was just a coincidence."

Kirara mewed from the ground, signing her approval with the exterminator's words.

The group met up with Miroku again, who had been scouting nearly for a sturdy way through towards the direction Kagome had run off to, taking care not to go too far off from the others. Though they had no idea what kinds of twists and turns Kagome could have taken, the group had no other direction to shoot for other than this one dark tunnel.

"Through here," Miroku exclaimed, "Seems safe enough. We'll find her in no time."

He didn't say it because he knew how it would affect the kitsune, but he thought worriedly, 'Hopefully we'll find out why she ran off without so much as a word.'

Little did he know that the others were thinking the exact same thing. But as they started walking down the tunnel, it became apparent that someone was not focused on following. Having realized that her brother was no longer beside her, Sango turned to find Kohaku staring back through another hallway. He took a step inside. "Kohaku…" Sango called.

Her voice appeared to snap him out of whatever reverie he was having. His eyes blinked rapidly as he stared back at her, as though he hadn't seen her in ages. "N-nani?"

"What is it?" she asked.

"N… nothing. I just thought… Nevermind."

With one last fleeting look down the empty hallway, he turned and followed his sister through their chosen tunnel.

They left behind a bitter silence, masked by thick air. The split between life and death faded away into nothing, black… and empty of life or death. Pushing aside her ever-vigilant discomfort in such a place, she peered into the darkness where the humans and the small youkai had been walking through.

'That boy…'

How could she forget… that day as she wandered through the cold and dank forest, wet from rain and sweat? How could she forget the look of distress on the face of a sleeping child?

He was in pain, she knew. She could tell by the twists of his body in his slumber that his pain was a physical thing, as well as something emotional. She remembered… the distress had pained _her_. A malevolent aura pulsed from the body of an innocent child, an aura that she knew was too powerful for to belong to a child by nature. It wasn't right.

Removing something so powerful from someone's body after the body becomes dependent on its power in any case means sudden death. There can be no question to this. The body is naïve, desperate, and a fool. It clings to anything that might ease its agony, no matter the long-term cost. And yet, as she gazed upon the sleeping figure of a helpless boy in the forest, one feeling overwhelmed her thoughts. The feeling that the shard did not control him, did not control all of him, did not control his heart. It was this feeling alone that let her remove the burden, the cost from the agony.

She turned her face away and continued down her own path, with only the glow of her own body as light. With only the power of herself to continue through the darkness. The small boy's face hovered in her thoughts, and Kikyo couldn't help but wonder… even if she was no longer human, was there not still humanity left somewhere inside of her?

To be continued…


	16. Ch 16: The Cold Stab of Betrayal

Chapter 16: The Cold Stab of Betrayal

'I had her right where I wanted her!'

His breaths were hard and labored, and even as he tried to subdue his frustration by calming himself, the only solace he could think of was to strike something. Without the miko in sight, the only thing for him to hit was the stone wall of the cave. With the power he had inherited from Inuyasha, Kokuei tore through rock with the powerful blade of the Chisaiga, leaving behind a cloud of putrid dust.

He had known that he would have done well to use his appearance to his advantage. The girl was hopelessly devoted to Inuyasha, and would have followed him into the flaming fires of hell if given the chance. The girl had not the wits to keep herself protected when she was on her own. Call it stupidity or call it bravery. Her trust in the hanyou was naïve and foolish, and it should have been more than easy to kill her in one swing of his claws. For a moment, it had been easy. The sensitive wretch hadn't the slightest idea that it was Kokuei behind the mask of her lover. He had stood beside her, held her to him, even kissed her to provide a distraction so that he could kill her and steal the jewel as swiftly as possible without giving her the chance to come to her senses and defend herself. His face still burned from the heat of her miko powers.

But something had stirred in him as he kissed her. Kokuei's very hands seemed to shake, even as his claws were pressed into her neck. So close… so very close he was to killing her! Why didn't, why couldn't he strike?

That was it! Plan failed! If he didn't kill her today, right now, he might have to wait days to get close to her again, and even a day of anticipation seemed more than he could handle. He had waited months for this moment. He had rebuilt his strength all his time with the sole purpose of feeling the miko's blood saturate his hands, to put an end to the most powerful miko standing in his way and to contain all the power of the Shikon no Tama. Now, his two most powerful desires had evaded him. And for what?

Her scent was close. In fact, it was too close. The stillness of the air in Naraku's castle may have been able to throw off the miko and the hanyou, but it didn't necessarily work to Kokuei's advantage either. The entire room preserved her fresh scent longer than it normally would. All he knew for sure was that the scent was within minutes old.

"You can't hide forever, wench," Kokuei called out, trying his best to sound confident, "Just hand over the jewel and I might let you go."

It was a straight up lie, and she knew it. The desire for her blood was evident in his eyes. Kagome brought her knees tightly into her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She shut her eyes tight, thinking subconsciously that if she cut herself off from this nightmare, she would have to wake up. She would wake up and find her Inuyasha sitting beside her as he watched over her countless nights, Tetsusaiga held to him, his gaze lingering over her lovingly, a little longer than needed.

She knew it best not to breathe too loudly, or rather, not to breathe at all. However, her heart was screaming inside her chest so loudly, she could have sworn Inuyasha would hear it. As blood pumped heedlessly through her veins, Kagome fought back the desperate need to breathe deeply, fought back the need to cry out in betrayal. When she held her breath, her body began to shake, and tears tumbled from her eyes to her flushed cheeks in long streaks, burying her face in an agonizing, blinding prison cell.

Over and over again, she tried to tell herself that this wasn't real, that this couldn't possibly be Inuyasha. But she was so cruelly reminded, Naraku was dead, and there wasn't a single other enemy they had powerful enough to take on the form and the aura of Inuyasha. It had to be him. And everything he had said had made sense. Everything… except his willingness to wait three years to betray her.

She didn't know what to think now. All she knew was that Inuyasha was trying to kill her, and if she didn't escape now, she might never know what was wrong with him. Somehow, she had to find her way back to the others.

"Don't try my patience, Kagome!" Kokuei yelled out.

When she realized how close Inuyasha was to her, she nearly screamed right then and there. Slowly, she turned her head towards the left. She could see him, just ten feet away from her, staring off into the darkness. If he simply turned his head to the right, it would be all over for her.

"…The more you try to hide, the more you try my patience."

As he spoke, she suddenly caught sight of something: the kotodama rosary. It was still around his neck. That was it! All she had to do was keep shouting the command, and he would be completely at her mercy, and she could make her escape. Confident that she was home-free, she jumped to her feet and screamed at the top of her lungs, "OSUWARI!"

But then something happened that she did not expect. Inuyasha did not fall to the ground. Instead, he turned sharply to face her and grinned in triumph. Kagome's heart froze. 'N-nani! What happened to the necklace? Why didn't he fall down?'

Without a word, Kokuei leapt towards her. She just managed to jump out of the way, but not before his claws managed to rip through her arm, and she stumbled into the wall. Kagome let out a cry of pain as blood fell in large drops to the ground. But she didn't take time to examine her wound. As quickly as she could, she stepped away from Inuyasha, only to turn again and cock an arrow into her bow.

Kokuei eyed the fresh blood on claws, caressed the texture of it between his fingers. The red liquid stained his skin and brought out the contours of his fingerprints. It seemed to dissolve into his skin like water, burrowing into his blood, filling him with the delight of her pain. He smirked to himself triumphantly, but was caught off-guard when he felt a pang somewhere deep inside him, something threatening and rebellious. He angrily pushed the feeling aside and turned his gaze up towards the miko, who had her arrow steadied and aiming straight for his neck.

Though she tried to convince him that she was not afraid, Kokuei could distinctly see her arms shaking. Her arrow wasn't steady at all. Even if she did fire, it probably wouldn't do a thing. He smiled wickedly at her, "Would you really betray me, Kagome? You could never really shoot down the one you love, could you?"

How she had hoped Inuyasha wouldn't say something like that. As soon as the words started spewing from his lips, she tried to harden her heart to the idea that she would be hurting her only love. She tried desperately to force down the idea that she would ever hurt him, emotionally or physically. The image of his saddened, heartbroken face flashed through her mind, such a fragile heart. She thought of how it would feel to watch her arrow pierce his skin, to watch him die. No, she wouldn't be able to handle that! And he knew that too, didn't he!

Kagome narrowed her eyes and clutched her bow and arrow tighter. She was determined not to let his words get to her. But when she saw his face, his fiery face, the face she fell in love with so long ago, she just couldn't do it. God help her, she couldn't do it! Her lips quivered as more tears came to blur her vision. Never had she felt more frail and pathetic in her entire life.

"You can't, can you? Just as weak as you always have been," Kokuei remarked.

He ran forward, faster than Kagome had ever seen Inuyasha run before. Within a third of a second, he was in front of her, and he swung hard with his left claw. Kagome didn't have enough time to run away or shoot the arrow. Her bow collapsed under Kokuei's power and splintered her skin with large shards of wood. He didn't stop there. When she tried to push him away, he backhanded her. Her jaw didn't break but it did crack. And in her vulnerable state, he took the chance to grab a hold of her wrist and twist it hard, so that she had no choice but to turn her back towards him. It gave him easy access to her back. Before the odd pang could return to bother him, he dug his claws into her right shoulder and tore downwards. Kagome cried out loudly. As she did, Kokuei felt the annoying feeling return to him, stronger than ever before, and he finally was able to recognize it. 'No!' he shouted mentally.

Kokuei's eyes glowed red as frustration consumed him. In his anger, he hurled Kagome across the room like she was a rag doll. She collided hard with the wall, snapping the bone of her wrist when she tried using it to soften her impact. She landed on the ground with a hard thud, face down. Blood spurted from the deep wound on her back as well as from the large scrape on her left forearm. Quickly cradling her broken wrist to her stomach, she scrambled to her feet and tried to run.

With a loud holler, Kokuei removed Chisaiga from its sheath and lifted it high into the air. He swung hard into the ground, and the rock around Kagome exploded. She screamed as the ground gave way beneath her, as bits of rock tore into her skin. She heard a familiar growl, and then, all was quiet.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

_He came to her in night's embrace, the sky gray and quiet with the memory of a storm. So crisp and alive was the earth on this night, joyous and awed, touched with a glimmer of light that was hidden from the naked eye. He could still see them sparkle. He could feel them. Clouds swam in the sky with gay abandon, swirling in circles around the oddly strong gusts of wind. The wind was freezing to his exposed skin and he fought hard to cover up his face with the sleeve of his haori._

_The sweet tune of her singing brushed warmth into him. Delicate and free-spirited, her song had no words, but had everything he held dear in ever note. Half-humming, half-singing, the nature of her song was enough proof that she was in bliss. His heart combusted with the sounds. _

_As had become natural to him, he followed her voice. Through some kind of opening, he passed into light. And she stood before him, she glanced up at him with shivering eyes, full of life and love. Her glowing face answered his silent prayer, the rush bled from sensation to sensation, and he quickly felt his knees get weak. Before it all faded from his sight, he noticed what she was singing to: a tiny bundle in her arms, and all he could see other than blankets was a patch of black and white hair._

"_Inuyasha…_ Inuyasha…Inuyasha, wake up…"

"_What is…"_

"Inuyasha…"

Feeling returned to his body, and it wasn't pleasant in the least. Inuyasha's entire body ached and stung. The pain caused him to twitch his arm, but even that caused more pain. He grunted out loudly.

"Inuyasha…"

His eyes shot open.

The room he was in was dark and gray, but like in his dream. But there was no happiness here, no glow of the earth. Everything was dead, even the air. But that wasn't what he noticed. The figure looming above him made him gasp, "K-Kikyo…"

The dead miko did not respond, but proceeded to tie off the bandage around his lower leg. He glanced down to see the legs of his hakama were pulled up to his thighs, and his legs were badly bruised, but he could tell by the sting, they were healing. And the smell in the air told him that Kikyo had put some kind of ointment on them. The only bandage he could see was quickly soaking in blood. He moved his arms, only to find that his arms were also throbbing and covered in some kind of natural ointment, completely different from the kind he was used to.

He made a move to get up, "Kikyo!"

He gasped hard as his chest burned with the movement. He grasped his chest with one hand, as though trying to rip off his skin. He took notice that his haori and gi had been pushed open, and bandages were wrapped around his torso.

"Be still, Inuyasha."

The miko shot a cold glare in his direction, but somewhere within her angry eyes and voice, Inuyasha could detect a bit of concern.

"What are you doing here?" He looked around the stone room, noting that it was the same room he had been in just before when…

"The jewel shards! They were here!"

"The jewel shards are not here, Inuyasha."

"A trap… It must have been set by Naraku before he died… How did I escape that thing?"

"Do not be too hasty. You'd do best to mind your condition."

At that, he would have willingly lied down so that she could heal him. His body felt horrible. However, as Kikyo leaned over him to place a sticky slab of paper on his collar bone, a faint scent wafted to him from her. It wasn't the scent that he remembered of Kikyo. This scent was alive, pure, and so dear to his heart. So delicate and practically non-existent, it only just managed to cling to Kikyo's clothing. And it was fresh…

"That… that's Kagome's scent," he mumbled outloud.

Kikyo must have heard him, because her shoulders tensed. She tried to maintain calm as she backed away from him, but Inuyasha reached out and grasped her forearms. She gave a small cry of surprise, and looked up to find him gazing at her with desperation in his gaze. "You've seen her? Where is she?"

Kikyo relaxed and tilted her head to the side, studiously avoiding looking into the eyes that still haunted her heart, "She is here."

The miko could practically feel Inuyasha beginning to panic. His very aura swelled up with worry, and it broke her heart in two. He asked her, or rather demanded her, "Where is she?"

"I do not know."

"Kuso!" Inuyasha shouted as he pushed himself off the floor.

Although he cried out in pain, although she knew better to let someone who had been through what he had walk around mere hours after their ordeal, she couldn't bear to stop him. The feeling that saturated her, flowing from his body, powerful and loving, could never be held back by her.

Within seconds, he had left her alone in the solitude of the stone chamber, never noticing the tears drenching Kikyo's face. He never looked back. Not once.

To be continued…

**Kokuei's problem will be explained next chapter.**

**Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday, dear Kelly …… HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!**

**20… Ah! I'm old!**

**You know I love reviews, so as a birthday present to me, please leave a lot, k?**


	17. Ch 17: MakeBelieve

Chapter 17: Make-Believe

Kneeled in the likeness of a lowly beggar, tainted a sickening yellow by the wavering and dying flame of the fire, the life and power seemed to be sucked away. The overwhelming darkness that covered the room, the palace, in an inaudible cry. The fearful tumbling and tumbling of something within the chest. Sounds of unwelcome breathing and stolen blood. She became aware for the first time that there was blood in her veins, breath in her lungs, flesh on her bones, and a stomach that was empty but still felt ill. Her precious body, not a body at all, but ever close to the one she remembered. Perfect and flawless and without want or need. But the blood in her body was as thin as water, the borrowed air that filled her was an ache, the muscle was a lie of strength, and her stomach did nothing to nourish her. It only caught her heart as it fell.

With a stretch of bandages across her palms, Kikyo stared with shaking eyes at her tranquil hands. The fingers still tingled with Inuyasha's touch. How long had it been since she was able to touch him, to be close to him? Running through every memory she held dear, she could only find a handful of moments when he had let her reach out to him. For a time, she had thought that he might welcome her touch whole-heartedly. But their encounters now were so few… She never had the chance to take care of him. As she tended to him while he slept, her heart had burned with contentment. Even if it would make her appear mad, the idea that she didn't have to fight for his affection thrilled her. For a time, she could show him how gentle her hands could be, how she nurtured life more than she caused death.

And as soon as he had awoken to find his _new_ miko gone, he had left this miko's touch so fast, it was like he repelled it. Out he fled into the emptiness of a dead castle to find the one who had taken her place by his side. With her hands, she was the one to touch him. She showed him that she didn't have to fight for his affection. She showed him how gentle her hands could be. She showed him how she nurtured life.

Every single thing that life had robbed from her. Everything that robbed her of Inuyasha's heart.

With a face contorted with anguish, her lips grimaced sadly, her mouth opened just enough to let half a lung-full of air out in a half-exhale and a half-sob. She stopped herself. Biting her lip and taking a frightened glance around the empty room, not a soul was there to reach out to her. Inuyasha had left her spirit naked in the dark. First, another weakened whimper forced its way out of her lungs, and then, she could not hold on any more. For the first time since she was a child, Kikyo cried, loud and hard.

Her sobs echoed off the stone and tore through her. She brought the bandages to her face and buried her eyes. Her shoulders shook. Within moments, her sobs had stopped, and her cries became silent and breathy.

When she felt the pressure of a hand on her shoulder, Kikyo cried out in protest and slapped the hand away. But she never looked up. She breathed loud and fast and clenched her jaw. She could hear the visitor taking a step back and then stopping.

"You don't have to do it, you know," finally remarked Kagura.

There was no reply. She waited a few more seconds for the miko to calm herself, but after about half a minute of waiting, the wind sorceress had had enough of the silence. "Why do you do this? What good will crying do for you? For months now I've seen your eyes so full of anger and hate. Why now do you cry?"

Kikyo buried her eyes back into the cloth of her bandages, as though trying to block out the world. But she left her ears uncovered. Kagura was becoming more and more frustrated by Kikyo's tears, "It isn't befitting of you, miko. And what kind of miko are you, which fights and kills demons and falls in love. What became of your religion?"

More than irritated by the visitor's scolding, Kikyo yelled out through her bandages. "He was supposed to be mine."

Kagura couldn't hear the words that had become mumbled in Kikyo's hands. "What?"

Kikyo threw her face up and turned to glare at her unwelcome companion, "He was supposed to be mine!"

The power behind the undead miko astounded Kagura. She didn't think that a zombie woman could have enough feeling to share the air.

Kikyo continued, "We were happy! He was happy! I was happy! It was perfect, Kagura! We didn't even have a chance to fight back! And by the time I made it back, that weak silly little girl had taken my place! She doesn't deserve him! What could she possibly do to protect him or help him? She can't even fight! I spent my whole life learning how to fight and how to protect! I kept countless people from dying at the mercy of youkai! I single-handedly prevented the entire village from being slaughtered time and time again! I sat by and watched as girls my age and younger painted their faces white and became women! I watched as they left forever with their new husbands, never to return, as I ached to be in their place! And now the only thing I have ever wanted all for myself was taken away by another one of them!"

She took a moment to catch her breath before she said weakly, "It isn't fair…"

"Fair? After having such a life, you still thought that life could be fair?" Kagura replied, "Every joy is borrowed, Kikyo. What brings you happiness robs another of the same opportunity. What robbed you of womanhood gave happiness and security to countless humans. We all suffer, but the least you could do is take pride in your despair."

"You don't know anything about me!" Kikyo yelled.

"I know that there was a time when you risked everything for your people, no matter what the risk to you!" Kagura yelled back, "Why did you abandon that hope and follow Kokuei into this hell?"

Kikyo paused. Funny, she hadn't thought about the villagers in so long. Somehow they had faded away from her thoughts, and only Inuyasha remained. "They have no need for me now. At least here, I could find a way to get what was rightfully mine."

"And what do you think of that plan now?"

Kikyo's breath caught in her throat. She suppressed another sigh. A fleeting image of Inuyasha flashed through her mind, wild and free, running fast to Kagome's arms, his eyes filled with the kind of love he never held for Kikyo. That look had haunted her for ages now. They had angered her, and she wanted nothing more than to ease her heart and place the sting in his. But she still loved him, and the love she felt she saw in his eyes, as he stared longingly at his new miko.

She bowed her head and shook it slightly. "No more."

"Let me ask you something else, Kikyo. You've lost your life, you've ended your battles, and you've abandoned your village. Will you now abandon Inuyasha?"

The idea of never seeing Inuyasha again tore at her already gaping wounds. She clutched a hand to her heart. Kagura went on, "You're right, you know. That girl is not a fighter. She'd be dead in two seconds were it not for Inuyasha's presence. Someday, one way or another, she will find herself completely helpless and all alone, and unless someone else comes to her aid, she will die."

"Are you suggesting that I help her, Kagura?" Kikyo snapped, "I could have killed the girl long ago!"

"Then why haven't you yet? I know the opportunity has come up before."

Somewhere within her aching sadness, a little light waved at her. Though she tried to push it away and hide, the image came closer to her. The memory of a dying child looking deeply into her eyes and saying that Kikyo could never be evil. The memory of a boy who had escaped a tyrannical hanyou only to remain within an inch of death due to a shard lodged in his back. The thought of Inuyasha's anguished face, his soul just as broken as Kikyo was now, clinging to his beloved's dead body as he combusted…

"No one can steal your identity, Kikyo. Not even the girl. Your love is your own, and in my opinion, it would be horrible to waste it."

Kagura took slow patterned footsteps towards the doorway. She rested her hand upon the door frame and glanced back. Kikyo was still on her knees and her head was bowed so low that her black hair surrounded her face. Perhaps somewhere inside that miko there was a monster, caged so tightly that it rarely had the strength to fight its way out. When it did, perhaps that was why the miko in her was there. The wind sorceress couldn't help thinking… the miko only looked broken. Never had she been seen so weak. But this miko knew how to hide away. She had done it all her life. She had never faltered in the face of a battle. Knowing that she had chosen her path, she had still held in her pain as the paled girls around her flourished. Soon, the miko would put on her own white mask… and she would make-believe once again.

"You cannot stop the prophecy from happening. But I don't think you were meant to stop it. I think you were meant to protect it. At least then, you can deserve to love him."

Kikyo waited for more, but Kagura was gone. Alone again. But she didn't feel so alone this time.

'Inuyasha, have I failed you in this? Do you believe that I loved you? Do you believe that I still do? Have I been a fool for trying to be someone worthy of you, someone you never really needed?'

With a sigh, she let the bandages tumble from her hands, 'You needed her, didn't you… Inuyasha?'

Replaced… alone… lost… Kikyo pressed two hands to her heart and closed her eyes tight. Eons of hate made of life a hated thing. She bore the path of pain and stilled walked it. Somewhere inside her, she always felt like her spirit was free. A part of her always had her head in the clouds, always held on to something far more important than pain. There was a part of her that smiled to herself in the breeze of summer, a part of her that giggled as the children played. There was a part of her that reflected the unbridled joy of the very girls she had envied. There was a part of her that swelled with pride as villager after villager made a full recovery. There was a part of her that saw a white-haired hanyou one day long ago, and began to sing.

On their last day together, on the dock, Inuyasha had given Kikyo at least one thing she would always hold dear: a kiss. Never had there been a time when she had been so happy. Somehow, she felt as though all her humanity, her mercy, and her kindness were sealed in that one kiss. It was Inuyasha that made her live fully, if only for a few fleeting seconds. Somehow, it was enough.

Somehow, she knew that it was her happiness that had been reincarnated.

'No one can ever steal that from us, Kagome. It's ours. Yours and mine.'

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Inuyasha repeatedly cursed the air's stillness as he pushed himself through hallway after hallway. Kagome's scent lingered in the air, but it neither decreased nor intensified as he went along. She had been here recently, but the air had managed to preserve the scent in an unnatural way. For all he knew, he could be seconds or hours behind her.

He clutched his ribs and grimaced at the pain covering his body. 'Damn you, Kagome. What the hell were you thinking come here?'

He quickly realized that he knew all along that Kagome would try to follow him. He just didn't think she would be able to. He supposed that he shouldn't worry so much since the castle was long abandoned, until that terrified part of him slapped him in the face with the reminder that Inuyasha himself had fallen into a trap. Naraku might have set them everywhere before his death. Inuyasha couldn't let Kagome come upon one of them. The wounds he sustained made him, for the first time he could remember, truly thankful to still be walking, even if only just.

'I just know it. You're bound to fuck things up for yourself. And you'll expect me to fucking save you like a fucking guard dog! Fuck, fuck, fuck!'

His worry grew with every step, and still no sign of Kagome or the others. To pass the time, he tried to recall where he went wrong in his mission. At the speed he was going, the others couldn't possibly keep up with them. Miroku was too heavy a sleeper to have seen him leave their hut. Sango couldn't have heard his movements behind the sounds of her husband's snoring. He knew Kagome well enough to know the sound of her breathing as she slept peacefully. Kirara and Shippou might have heard him, but they couldn't possibly chase after him and endure going so fast for so long. That left only one person…

'Myouga-jiji! The bastard must have gone back and told the others were I was headed. I'll kill him!'

The hanyou preoccupied himself by imagining how many different ways he could torture a flea before killing it. He had just about decided upon picking his limbs off when he heard a distant cry. The echo only just managed to stimulate his senses, and he could tell that it was far away, but the familiarity of the sound tugged at his heartstrings.

"Kagome!"

Bundling whatever strength he could find into his legs, he picked up his speed. Unfortunately, it wasn't much. As he cursed himself for letting himself be fooled by a trap, he felt himself instantly weakening. He had to stop himself from falling every few seconds. His head was spinning as blood pumped furiously through his body. A million scenarios flashed through his throbbing head, each one more frightening than the next. He tried to push away the thought that he would be too late. He was never too late. Somehow, fate had been on his side. It had kept her alive until that last second when he could defend her. Was fate so cruel that it would betray him now? Was there even such a thing as fate? All he knew was that finding her dead was not an option. He pushed himself harder.

To be continued…

**I know, I know… Horrible place to end it. Personally, I hated doing it. Thing is… it's been three weeks since I last updated, and that is just too long. It's shaping up to be my hardest quarter yet, and if the super hard classes weren't enough, I have to arrange for life in Spain next here. I find time when I can, but usually I'm too exhausted to do anything but sleep. I'm truly sorry that the gaps are so long, and I will do everything in my power to keep up to a schedule. **

**I really really really want to get to the next chapter, so hopefully I'll have it up soon. Everybody take care and leave me messages, please. I was so happy with the twenty I got last chapter:D  
**


	18. Ch 18: Fleeing the Palace

**April 23, 2005… Exactly one year ago today, around noontime, I was introduced for the first time to a fun-filled show from Japan. The cuteness of a certain dog-eared character captivated me instantly, as did the relationship I saw developing between two main characters. I was hooked in a matter of a day. This past year has been a lot of fun, as I have become a fan fiction writer to this show. I've had a lot of fun writing the stories so far, and it definitely isn't over yet. In fact, even as I write up Flower's Faith, I am writing outlines to a new story, which I am thoroughly excited about. With your support, I hope to keep writing and making people happy about reading. When I was reading Don Quixote a few days ago, this thought occurred to me: It is language; it is imagination that makes us human. Never in a million years could that be more important than reality.**

**Well, this chapter isn't as stupendous as I wanted it to be on this anniversary, but in truth, I wasn't even planning on posting a chapter until maybe next week. I had to work ardently for the past two days to write up this chapter. I hope it is to your liking, and I promise you that the next chapters to come will get even better. **

Chapter 18: Fleeing the Palace

Sango spat curses every few seconds as she and her husband and her brother sprinted through the darkness. If truth be told, she highly doubted that their team could be called a team when over half of its members had taken off. Not that she could truly blame Kirara. She never did anything this drastic unless there was a reason for it, but the least Shippou could do was tell them why he and the neko-youkai suddenly needed to run. The kitsune had just jumped frantically onto Kirara's back as she transformed and they both faded away in a long stretch of flame. Miroku and Kohaku just managed to trail behind the exterminator, without so much as a moment's time to catch their breaths. Sango clamped her fingers tightly to Hiraikotsu, knowing full well that a battle could be just around the corner.

The light left behind from Kirara's tail had already faded away. The humans had no way to guide themselves, and they nearly fell several times. Sango called out for Kirara and Shippou. There was no reply. The sickening feeling she had from being in this place made her weary. The castle was as dead as dead could be. Yet somehow, trouble had found them. Kirara only transformed when there was trouble. Or maybe she had sniffed out Inuyasha and had enough sense to know that she should beat him around a bit.

Such was not the case, but after many minutes of mindless wandering, a faint light reemerged before them, and a frantic voice called out, "Sango! Miroku!"

"Shippou-chan!" she recognized the voice instantly, "Over here!"

The light grew brighter and brighter and more rapidly, until finally Kirara and Shippou reappeared. Sango shouted, "What happened? Why did you guys take off?"

As they landed, she got her answer. Sprawled across Kirara's fury back was the unmoving body of Kagome. Blood was oozing from wounds unseen, staining the neko-youkai in red. Streaks of it ran down her sides and her belly. A few drops splashed with a thick, wet noise against the rocky ground. Sango immediately reached out to her friend, "Kagome-chan!"

Kohaku and Sango tried pull the girl to a sitting position so they could get a better look at her wounds. Shippou was crying out, "We heard her scream from somewhere far away. When we found her, there were a punch of rocks falling on top of her. We caught her before she could fall too far, but then she wouldn't wake up!"

"Rocks?" Sango wondered out loud.

Delicately pressing her hand over the fabric of Kagome's torn clothes, she eyed the injuries. Kagome's arm had been torn through quite badly. From the looks of her torso, she might have broken a rib or two. But what really caught her attention were the slash marks on her back. She frowned, 'No way could rocks ever do something like this.'

"We have to get out of here now!" she commanded, "Something is very wrong. We'll search for Inuyasha later, but right now, we have to take care of Kagome."

Gently placing Kagome infront of her as she and her brother climbed aboard Kirara, Sango pleaded Kirara quietly for a fast escape. The neko-youkai took off, and the monk and kitsune followed quickly behind.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

An odd paradox of pain and strength permeated his every muscle as Inuyasha struggled his way towards the sound of Kagome's screams. The need to stop was matched by an equal need to be at her side, a sharp break that tore him in half. What frightened him even more than the sound of her cries was that the screams had stopped all together now, meaning that she might not be conscious, meaning that she might not even be alive. What blood didn't drip from his wounds seemed to swirl in his head, making him dizzy to the point where he couldn't distinguish up from down. All he did understand was the need to keep moving forward. It was the only direction there was for him.

All the while, he could feel that small part inside berating him, spewing out insults and insisting that a real youkai wouldn't be so weak to be kept down by a few injuries; that a real youkai wouldn't be stupid enough to fall into a trap. How greatly did he loathe himself, did his soul cry out. The aching feeling of the last week was nothing in comparison to the fear that he could lose Kagome forever. No matter how close they had come to being separated forever, it seemed that he somehow always forgot the feeling, the vindictive guilt and the thickness of his sorrow. Did fate need to remind him every other day that there was no room in this world for their love? Was it too soft-hearted to let them be because this love was too huge to be contained? What did fate have to say… about the worth of his love?

But as he realized, it was he who had fallen prey to fate. He, who had been so easily seduced by empty desires that he had opened the door to his greatest heartache. No, he was as much to blame as fate was for being so ridiculously naïve.

How greatly did he need the aid of his friends. Were they here, they would have helped him get to her faster. They always did, didn't they? Wherever Kagome was, he could only hope that the others were there too. But the fact still remained that he hadn't heard a single sound for a very long time. He would have welcomed any scream, if only to know that Kagome still had breath in her lungs.

'_I love you…'_

The words still rang in his head. So easy it had been to wait. It was such a simple sentence to say. Surely, he had thought, he could have taken all the time he needed to tell her. Something so effortless did not deserve toiling over. When he was good and ready, he would tell her everything that was in her heart, everything that she should already know. And when he did, it would be perfect. It would be everything she could have ever asked for. Somehow, it would be enough for her just to know that she was worth more than all the stars and moons combined. It had to, because his love for her was of more worth than all the pain he had ever gone through, and knowing that she loved him back was of more worth than all the happiness he could have ever hoped for.

But this perfect life was all in his imagination. If he had only realized that he didn't have all the time in the world, maybe he might have told her by now.

No more could he ponder his woes, for in a matter of a second, he saw a familiar neko-youkai appear across the way and then disappear down another tunnel. By the time he could get his throat to function well enough to form coherent words, it was too late for him to be heard. "Hey!... HEEEY!... Damnit!"

It took him a good minute to get himself to where he had caught sight of them. Struggling to catch his breath, he again mentally cursed himself for not being able to move faster. His nose was parched of sensation, and when the familiar scents of Kirara and Shippou filled his nostrils in the dead air, he was most relieved. That is… until the third scent came. The scent of Kagome's blood. Before he knew what hit him, his worry increased ten fold, and he took off running without a second thought after the neko-youkai.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

A streak of fire gained altitude, climbing and climbing with the same speed as the wind, until the wind leveled out and the fire in the distance slowed. Coming behind at a slightly slower rate was what appeared to be a giant pink ball, struggling frantically against the easterly winds, unable to reach the same height as the ball of fire it was apparently following.

Kagura stared with mouth vaguely agape as the sounds of her master's disgruntled growls broke through the sounds of the escalating winds. The light of the neko-youkai was fast fading away into the horizon, and along with them, the powerful miko that Kokuei could not defeat. She just could not help herself, and she pointed out the painfully obvious, "They have escaped, Kokuei."

The youkai at the window next to hers said nothing, and only continued to growl low in his chest as he watched the streak of light fade away, back into the safety of the outdoors. Kagura silently wondered why he wouldn't give chase. With his powers, he could ambush them in a matter of a few seconds, and without the hanyou, they would be easy prey. But she held her tongue, deciding it best not to entice him.

Her plan had failed. She had been so certain that the misfit group of puny youkai and humans could still take down Kokuei. To her vast disappointment, Kokuei hadn't even encountered Inuyasha the entire time he was in the palace. The only person Kokuei fought was that weakling, Kagome. And how pathetic it was that Kokuei couldn't even defeat her. Even more pathetic was that Kagura was still at this pathetic youkai's mercy.

"DAMNIT!" Kokuei screamed.

Faster than she could have ever expected the power of Chisaiga tore through Kagura's body. The heat of the blast hugged her all around as she flew through the air, so tightly it was as though it wanted to choke her. As she fell back onto the cold stone floor, she felt her artificial body crack, somewhere deep inside. But she never cried out, even as the wound continued to spread in a series of fractures through her flesh long after the blast was over. She would never cry… not for him.

When she finally rolled to a stop, her hands came up to clutch her collar bone and her stomach. The sword had struck her from the right hip all the way up to her left shoulder. As though she had been a stuffed doll losing its stuffing, blood freely poured down her arms and clothes in sheets. Had her heart been inside of her rather than with Kokuei, there was no doubt in her mind that she would have died. She had a distinct feeling that Kokuei would finish that job any minute now. For the first time since she could remember, she did not resist the feeling of death. The only thing she felt was a numbing ache, a yearning for what she now knew she could never have.

Kokuei, having taken his rage out on Kagura, still hadn't managed to vent his rage. He stalked across the small room, growling deep and digging his own claws into his palms.

'I couldn't kill her!' He swung Chisaiga into a pillar, 'I couldn't kill that naïve puny stupid weakling of a wench!'

The injured wind sorceress couldn't help but grin a little at Kokuei's failure. She knew without having to hear him say a word that he was furious that he hadn't killed the novice miko. Perhaps he wasn't as omnipotent as she had originally thought. After all, Kokuei was in his entirety a mere portion of an inu hanyou. Therefore, he was even less than half-youkai. Just an unrecognizable missing piece. Despite her injuries, she couldn't help but feel slightly pleased with this.

'I had her right in my hands! She was right there!'

Kagura only winced as Kokuei gripped his chest with his own claws and tore into his flesh as far as his fingers would go. Had he had the hanyou's heart, it would have been crushed between his fingers. As it were, there was no heart beating in his chest. But he kept digging his fingers farther into his skin, as though he was trying to dig something out. Something so small that it was impossible to find. Kagura wished she knew what it was so she could exploit it a little before she died. As he finally extracted his fingers, coated in a paper-fine layer of blood, Kokuei half-expected himself to find consolation in the texture and the smell. But even his own blood couldn't quench his thirst. He craved blood, human blood. And a human, he was not. The only real human he had found, the only one with the purity that he had dreamt of, was the same damnable woman that the hanyou had fallen in love with.

'We're still connected… that hanyou… and me…'

Swinging his claws threw the air, the wood of the pillar shattered into countless pieces, in a display of red with an uncanny resemblance to Inuyasha's Hijenketsou.

Kokuei might not have had Inuyasha's heart, but he had every memory, every pain, and every joy… and every dream of Kagome locked inside this body. As long as he was connected to Inuyasha's love, then he couldn't bring himself to kill Kagome, or at least, he couldn't get beyond hurting her without feeling that unbearable pain in his chest.

'Damnit! Fuck! That stupid wench! I'll rip her to shreds somehow! She will not escape my wrath! Even if I must kill the hanyou first so as not to be hindered, I will rip that miko apart!'

"Kikyo!" He called out.

Now would be the time when Kikyo's worth would finally be put to the test. He knew that Inuyasha still had feelings for the dead miko, even if it paled in comparison to the live one. If she beckoned him, he would come and fall right into a trap. The moonless night was just around the corner, and if he could ambush Inuyasha on his human night, then the hanyou would be dead without a hassle, leaving his pure Kagome in the open. And as a plus, he would also get back the Shikon jewel, completely whole thanks to Kagome.

"Kikyo!" He called out again.

She didn't appear as she was summoned. Closing his eyes and concentrating on his powers, he formed himself into the darkness. Kagura had never seen him do this before, but she had known he had the power. Parts of his body seemed to fade away to black as he partially returned to his original form: shadow. His skin became slightly stretched and wrinkled as many of his muscles also joined the transformation. Kagura watched as his eyes twitched behind his eyelids, as though he was looking around. She knew in an instant that he was searching the shadows of the palace for the dead miko. In a matter of a few seconds, his eyes sprang open to reveal bloodshot corneas and turquoise pupils. He hadn't found her.

"Where is she?" he all but bellowed into the stone palace.

When Kagura's movement caught his attention, he sprang for her. Grabbing her around the throat, he flew into the air and pinned her against the wall. She gave a small grunt of pain as the back of her head smashed against the stone, and a new wet sensation trickled from her head down her neck. Kokuei bellowed, "WHERE IS SHE?"

Even as Kokuei tightened his grip on her neck, she smirked. "She's gone, Kokuei. Even she isn't stupid enough to keep thinking that she belongs her, not after she has seen how much the hanyou loves her reincarnation," she caught her breath as Kokuei's grimace grew more and more sinister, "You may have my heart, but you are still weak. Kikyo knows that. And if I can't have my freedom, well… at least I have set one person free."

He tossed her like a rag doll to the floor. She never had time to recover from the fall, nor catch her breath from the near choking, nor contemplate the worth of her so-called life as Kokuei grew his sword and slashed at her again, repeatedly, her blood staining his face and hands. He bellowed loudly as he tore through her defenseless body.

By the time he was done, the wind sorceress was no more.

As her mind closed off, only one fleeting word crossed her mind, and she smiled… 'Free…'

To be continued…

**I should probably bring this up right now. From the very beginning, I never set off to make Kokuei the ideal villain. I think that because he was taken from the youkai blood in Inuyasha, he is reckless, pompous, violent, and irrational. Basically all the things that made up Inuyasha's flaws. Therefore, he is in no way in control of himself. He still is very deadly, but he is definintly not omnipotent.**

**So… although I will never ever be heard, I thank the show called Inuyasha for giving me a year's worth of imagination. **

**I'll be back for more fun, and please, everyone, leave reviews. **


	19. Ch 19: Sesshoumaru no Tenseiga

Chapter 19: Sesshoumaru no Tenseiga

Dawn bloomed in the distance, the delicate beauty of the sky tantalizing. As the first beams of light finally touched the highest mountain peaks, she was almost thrown off balance. After the seemingly endless hours without sleep or rest, the first signs of light seemed to signal a kind of naïve hope. When she should have felt relief, she couldn't help but feel her burden increase. Despite the torture of her fingers, the acute ache in her temple, the stiffness of her eyes, the miko did not falter. Clenching her teeth and narrowing her eyes dangerously, she glared at the rising sun, not caring what it might do to her vision.

Sunlight crept down the mountainside as slowly as would a tide. Kikyo felt sure that time itself sought to agonize and scorn her for her misdeeds. Her whole body ached and burned with the miko energy endlessly flowing through her, forming a bluish sphere around her as she kneeled on the ground. There had she remained throughout the night, fighting to keep the shadows away from her.

When she had first come across Kokuei, she had felt the presence of a threatening power locked inside him. Over time, once she learned the truth of his origin, she began to fear these powers that she didn't understand. If Kokuei had been plucked from the darkest side of Inuyasha's heart, then whatever it was couldn't be anything less than horrifying. Her fear grew as she began noticing how quickly he went from place to place, disappearing and then reappearing in an instant, sometimes miles away. Hoping it wasn't worth it to ponder such things, she had left his secret alone. But many a night did she feel him close by, unimaginably close to her body, at times making the air icy cold. On the day that she discovered the truth, she had been half sure she had been hallucinating, for she had watched his body emerge from the shadows in her room and mold itself back into a body of flesh, all in the matter of a second. From then on, he never failed to find her in such a manner, perhaps because he knew it disturbed her. And there were times when he didn't even appear, and she could feel his eyes watching her from the shadows, even touching her.

The first thoughts that crossed her mind as she escaped his palace the night before were happy ones, as she reveled in the idea that she was finally free of him. Such ideas were soon bitterly replaced by the memory of his power to travel through shadow. For a moment, she had even stopped and considered turning back. Too late for that now, and she couldn't regret what she did. If only it hadn't been such a strain on her body. As soon as the sun began to set, she had realized that she would be covered in shadow throughout the night. As soon as Kokuei realized that she was gone, he would do just what he had before, and so long as she stood in a shadow other than her own, he could find her location in a matter of moments. Desperate not to give in, Kikyo placed a barrier over her body, illuminating in a soft blue light just powerful enough to ward away the effects of night. The only problem was that she hadn't used such a power in years, and therefore, she was out of practice. The miko could barely move from the spot for hours as she struggled to keep a hold on the barrier.

Finally, after what seemed like, and had been, hours upon hours, sunlight passed over her barrier. With a dramatic sweep, the barrier gave way and disintegrated, and Kikyo fell in a heap upon the snow. Gasping for air and energy, her hands stilled twitched and burned. Normally, the dead miko could not feel sensation on her clay skin. Even the snow did not bother her, but the fire of her miko energy had turned a layer of skin on her hands to ash. She buried her palms into the snow and muttered to herself, "I won't be able to keep this up every night. I'll need to find another way."

The sakura trees that stood a few yards from her were bare, and they dripped with water as the snow slowly melted under the peaceful sun. A songbird landed on a branch and shook his feathers dry. Obviously, the bird had no care that it was the dead of winter. About a second later, when a breeze caused the branches to flutter, he took flight again and soared past the miko who lay on her back. Kikyo made a face as the shadow of the bird passed over her for half a second. She assumed it was foolish to believe that she could never touch shadow. Then again, perhaps it wasn't so bad. If it only lasted maybe a few seconds, then perhaps Kokuei wouldn't have enough time to find her. He probably wouldn't be searching for her every second of the day either.

The long hours had left her body exhausted, and Kikyo did the only thing she could do. Closing her eyes and relaxing against the snow, she let sleep take her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

It seemed like she had just fallen asleep when Kikyo was jarred away by a far away sound. Instinct told her to act fast, and in a matter of seconds, her eyes were open, her body was upright, an arrow was cocked in her bow, her body was positioned perfectly to take down the enemy. But all was quiet again. She did not move. Quickly checking the position of the sun, she suspected that she had been sleeping for an hour, maybe two. Silently, she berated herself for falling asleep in the open, and when she was supposed to be in hiding, too. As she mentally chastised herself, another sound reached her ears, and she hitched her arrow a little tighter. The sound was soft, almost inaudible. Her memory instantly told her that it was the sound of snow being crunched beneath someone's feet, and the person, or beast, was coming closer in her direction.

She hadn't been at all prepared to see Inuyasha's older brother emerge from behind the foliage.

Her familiarity with the youkai did not comfort her in the least. She kept a firm hold on her weapon. Long had she known that he was dangerous, conniving, and entirely cold. That he also sought to kill Inuyasha didn't sit well with her either.

But in a few moments, Sesshoumaru's stance did strike her as odd. He had always had a cool demeanor about him, a kind of regal bearing that befitted the heir to the Western Lands. The curve of the youkai's face was smooth and delicate, in contrast to the sharpness of his eyes, his ears, and his attire. He had a kind of firm beauty, an icy cold beauty. But today, he looked different to her. Although he still held his head high and kept his face locked up tight, Kikyo could see a faint crack in his gaze. It could have been anger, it could have been sorrow, but it was nothing like she had ever seen in him. Letting her gaze fall down, her lips parted as a small rush of air passed her lips. The large fluffy material that usually was slung around his right shoulder was pulled around his back and under the area where his left arm should have been, had he had a right arm. It was pulled tightly around his midsection and draped across his right arm, making a kind of cradle. And lying atop the fabric was the body of Kagura, dead.

Kikyo lowered her weapon, somehow knowing that Sesshoumaru was not there to cause trouble. She silently wondered what had happened to the wind sorceress. After Kagura had convinced her to leave, she could only assume that Kagura finally found the courage to stand up to Kokuei and his control over her life. From the looks of it, her courage didn't do her much good.

Sesshoumaru didn't seem to notice that Kikyo was there at all. It was only when he passed by her did his gaze gently rise to meet hers. It was then that the miko could see the small break in him. He began to walk away, and Kikyo finally called out to him, "Sesshoumaru…"

He slowly came to a stop, but he did not make a move to greet her cordially. He just glanced over his shoulder and stared at her coldly, "Did you escape as well, Kikyo? Did you run away?"

She made a face at the ridicule he obviously intended. He looked away, "How like a human. _She_ would never run away."

Kikyo knew immediately that he was referring to the dead woman in his arms. "She was the one who told me to run, you know."

"Is that so?" He remarked, with a sadly ironic hitch to his voice, "Perhaps she was the greater fool then."

"What happened to her?" Kikyo asked, almost instantly realizing it was foolish to ask such a thing.

"Killed… by your master."

He began walking away again.

"Where are you taking her, Sesshoumaru?"

"Tenseiga did not save her. I am doing the only thing I can do. I'm taking her to my castle and giving her a proper youkai burial."

"That's amazing, especially for you. Was she even really a youkai? Wasn't she just an offspring of Naraku, your hated enemy, an unnatural hanyou?"

She could sense his aura get slightly more defensive. "Don't be such a fool, miko. If Kagura had not been a youkai of her own right, then would I bother to see to this? As soon as she was realized she was broken from her connection to Naraku, she had found her own life, her own mind, her own scent. Therefore, I see nothing stopping me from burning her corpse like I would a youkai born and bred."

"And yet you are so willing to give up on her life? You say that Tenseiga did not revive her, but how many times did you really try?"

"I cannot change the decision of my father's sword. Though I wield it, it is the sword that decides who to save."

"But it is your sword-."

"Wrong," he said, "It is my father's sword. A sword which did not belong with me in the first place… A weakling's sword."

"You cannot tell me that you do not have a connection to that sword after all these years you have carried it."

"What would you have me do, miko?"

"I would have you try again. I want to see you try again, and prove to me that you are not a fool."

When he turned again to glance at her, it seemed as though he was ready to throw another bitter remark her way, and then return on his path. She didn't know why, but he was hesitating. Perhaps he did not want to turn away from a challenge, but nor did he wish to accept his defeat. Why was there a slight fear in his gaze? Did this wind sorceress mean something to him? A friend? A mate? Or somewhere in between? Why did he have eyes that hated himself, when the great Sesshoumaru thought himself so great a youkai?

But sooner than she had anticipated for somebody so stubborn, he lowered Kagura to the ground, making sure that the cloth stayed between her body and the snow. He stood over her, looking at her, though not really looking at anything at all. For several moments, he did not move, did not blink, did not breathe, from what Kikyo could tell. Seeing that he needed a bit of encouragement, she waltzed over to him and grasped the hilt of Tenseiga. His reaction was instant. His right arm swung around and his clawed hand latched onto her wrist angrily. But she did not fear him. Kikyo looked him dead in the eye, smiling dangerously, "You have a connection to this sword, Sesshoumaru."

"It's not responding to me. Don't you see? It's pointless to even try."

"Yours is the sword that cannot cut. What does the mighty Sesshoumaru have to lose by proving it to me?"

When he didn't answer, she smiled a little wider and pulled her hand away from his claws with ease. She watched as he closed his eyes and breathed in deep. He slowly drew the sword from its sheath, issuing a loud scraping noise. As he brought the blade to rest of his forehead, the metal glimmered in the rays of the morning sun. She could tell the way his forehead wrinkled that the sword was still not responding to him, but she never faltered. Not yet. Finally, Sesshoumaru took in a deep breath and swung Tenseiga. The blade traveled through Kagura's shoulder and out through the opposite hip, not a scratch to be found in the wake.

And then the unexplainable happened. In the far reaches of his mind, he heard the soul stealers cry out, though they should have been long gone. He heard their bodies shatter away into dust to be carried back into the underworld. Not a moment later, they both heard Kagura's silent breathing.

Kikyo smiled to herself as Sesshoumaru's eyes widened. He did not say a word, and only dropped to his feet beside the revived youkai. Kikyo sank down next to him. "You were only slightly right. The sword did not want to bring her back. That's why her wounds aren't gone. She's not healed, but she is alive again. Eventually, she will heal, though it will probably take longer than it would for a youkai who hadn't been dead for hours."

He didn't answer her, nor did he look at her.

She got to her feet and towered over the confused inuyoukai. "You say that the sword rejected you, that you weren't meant to have it, but I think even you can see now that your father gave you what you really needed in the end."

Without so much as a goodbye or a parting gesture, the miko readjusted her bow on her shoulder and turned to walk away, towards the south. The dark shadows of the forest promised for her a difficult journey, and she did not know how she could manage to keep herself hidden after a whole night of holding up her barrier, but she knew that she had no choice. Her life was the path of pain, of struggle, and it wasn't an easy life. But Kikyo finally knew what she needed to do, so long as she was allowed to walk this earth as an undead, so long as she had the strength to set things right for the one she loved.

"Where will you go now, miko?" Sesshoumaru's voice called back, oddly calm and collected, like she had always known him to be.

"I don't really know. But I have to find someplace safe. Kokuei… he'll come after me, and he'll come after Inuyasha. I have to warn him somehow."

"Do you even know where he is?"

She suddenly realized she hadn't a clue where Inuyasha was. In her haste to escape, she hadn't even thought where Inuyasha had run off to, only that he had gone looking for Kagome. They could be anywhere, and if their friends were around, then they could be so far away, it would be impossible to reach them in time.

"I… I don't know. But I have no other choice."

"Would you…" He paused for a second, "I don't know anything about medicine, but… As a miko, you could help Kagura."

"I already told you. She'll be fine. She just needs time."

She heard a light growl in the air, and knew from her experience with Inuyasha that it was a growl of slight frustration. He called out to her again, "Then consider it a way to repay my debt."

She started slightly and looked back at him. He continued, "You need to hide. If you keep out of my way, if you help Kagura, you can hide in my castle. With the new concealment spell that has been put upon it, it will be hidden to all who don't know where it is."

"Sesshoumaru…"

She started, amazed that he would offer such a thing to a lowly human. But then she saw his face as he gazed down at Kagura, as her chest slowly rose and fell with every breath she took. A smile formed on Kikyo's lips. "…A miko healing a youkai… Unheard of… But I suppose I'm already not much of a miko, since I haven't killed you… or your brother."

He did not answer. Slowly, he readjusted the cloth around his shoulder and put his right arm under Kagura's shoulder. He hoisted her against him as he stood, and paused without glancing to wait for Kikyo. She took one last fleeting glance towards the direction of the castle that had been her prison for so many months. 'Inuyasha… Be careful…'

As she walked behind the retreating inuyoukai, she couldn't but notice how he slowed his pace for her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Something tickled her.

Kagome opened her soft eyes to find a wooden roof settled above her. She could feel the warmth of the sun on her left arm, though she did not glance to see it. Her mind, which was still recovering from a rather brutal dream, ached unnaturally. The idea of moving it seemed unfathomable. She felt the tingle all over her face again, and realized that her face was moist. It was slowly drying, lightly pricking her with tickling sensations.

The silence around her was rather uncomfortable. She could only hear the birds chirping above the roof. Where were the others?

When she felt sure that she could tolerate the movement, she turned her head to the side. An unfamiliar room greeted her eyes, and panic began to well up as she realized that it wasn't Kaede's hut, or any other hut she had known. Instantly, she sprang upright, only to cry out when a sudden excruciating pain erupted in her left arm. The reaction caused her to fall back and land on her right shoulder, and she cried out again when the wound burned. Rolling back into the position she was when she woke up, she panted and shivered. She remembered these wounds.

'Oh God… It wasn't a dream at all, was it?'

Her lips trembled as a lone tear rolled down her cheek. She barely reacted as Sango came rushing into the hut and up to the cot where she lay. "Kagome-chan!"

More tears spilled. "It hurts, Sango-chan."

"I haven't bandaged your wounds yet. You must keep still for now."

"Tell me it didn't happen," Kagome sobbed weakly.

"What didn't happen?"

She let out a saddened sigh and shut her eyes tightly, "Sango-chan, it hurts so much… Why…?"

Sango's face darkened a little as she realized that it wasn't her wounds that Kagome was talking about. "Tell me, Kagome-chan. Why does it hurt?"

Taking in a slow shaking breath, and felt like she could barely move her lips as she uttered the word, "Inuyasha…"

"Inuyasha… Oh God! Did you find him? Is he alright?"

Kagome opened her eyes and turned her head just enough to look into her friends eyes. "Inuyasha tried to kill me."

To be continued…

**Perhaps now is a good time to mention… "Kokuei" literally means "dark shadow".**


	20. Ch 20: Running in the Wrong Direction

**Wow, wow, wow! Has it really been so long? Man, this is getting ridiculous. But to make up for it, I do have a chapter twice as long as usual. Though I hated to end it, there is much to be done in terms of college and visas and all such arrangements. I'll get back to writing as soon as I can. **

Chapter 20: Running in the Wrong Direction

"Kagome-chan… What are you talking about? You know that Inuyasha would never hurt you," said Sango, rather incredulously.

"It was him, Sango-chan. I could feel his aura. That's why I left you guys behind in the hallway. When I found him, he tried to take the jewel from me. He told me that he has just been pretending to care about me all this time, just waiting for us to finally put the jewel back together so that he could take it easily. At first, I didn't believe it, but when I tried to run…" Kagome caught her breath, "He attacked me."

"That's impossible," Sango practically shouted, "Inuyasha loves you. I know he does."

"That's just what he wanted you to believe… what he wanted me to believe."

Sango remembered well how it was in the beginning, when she had first stumbled upon the group of two humans, a youkai child, and an inuhanyou. The second she had been told that a hanyou by the name of Inuyasha had been responsible for the death of her comrades, she had resolved herself to killing him. He was youkai after all, and therefore was wild. Not even youkai, but a hanyou, therefore, wild and conflicted. She had been burdened with a life-long prejudice of youkai, except Kirara, of course. Even when Inuyasha had offered to let her join them on their quest, she had been very uneasy. The idea of working under someone of youkai blood… Youkai, whom she had been killing for years, who were considered so untrustworthy that friendship with one was forbidden in her village. Was it really possible that she had been right about Inuyasha in the beginning? Was it really possible for Inuyasha to hold himself back as long as three years to wait for the opportunity to strike? Was he really even that patient?

"Kagome-chan… You… you don't really believe this, do you? I know you've had your problems, but Inuyasha could never lay a hand on you. He has defended our lives and has taken care of all of us for years. Moreover, you know Inuyasha is far too stubborn to lay low for three years and manipulate us so effectively. It just doesn't make sense."

The miko's head fell to the side away from her friend. She couldn't help but feel slightly betrayed that Sango didn't believe what she had said, but she had problems believing it herself. She was right. The Inuyasha she had fallen in love with had such a big heart, such a loving soul. She couldn't count the number of times he had been crude only to turn right around and help someone in need, couldn't fathom how well he took care of her and nurtured their romance despite the hateful world around him. He was also childish, stubborn, rude, and impatient. So much at times she thought she should sit him till he begged for mercy. Could she really believe that it had all been a lie, and yet could she really deny what she had seen and heard and felt the night before? Kagome stared into space as tears blurred her vision, "Nothing makes sense anymore, Sango-chan. I'm just so confused. But I knew his face, his voice, his aura. I don't understand anything anymore."

A rustle of fabric could be heard as Miroku entered the hut with Kirara perched on his shoulder. Shortly following was Shippou, peering through the monk's legs to get a glance at Kagome. He could sense her pain. The only reason he didn't run over to her was the knowledge that she was injured. "Kagome-sama. Thank goodness you're awake. How are you feeling?"

Kagome wanted to snap at him for asking such a thing, but instead kept her mouth shut. Sango answered, "You guys won't believe it. She's telling me that Inuyasha is the one who attacked her."

The room was quiet for a second, and then Miroku furrowed his eyebrow, "What are you talking about? Inuyasha wouldn't do that."

Kagome whimpered slightly, and Sango said, "Supposedly, Inuyasha tried to steal the jewel from her at Naraku's castle, told her that he had been lying to us this whole time, and then tried to kill her."

Kirara leapt off of Miroku's shoulder and slowly began circling around Kagome. Miroku knelt next to Sango and stared at the miko who still refused to look at them. "Kagome-sama… are you sure about what you saw? It just doesn't seem possible."

Kagome moved her body just enough to show Miroku the bloody gashes on her shoulder and arm. "Look at my wounds. It looks like I've been used as a scratching post. Who else was there except for us and Inuyasha? Naraku is dead. Who else could have possibly made it so that they looked and sounded exactly like Inuyasha?"

They both made faces and furrowed their eyebrows in thought. It was true… so far as they knew, Naraku was one of a kind. He was the only one that had managed to take on Inuyasha's form in the past. With him gone, no one else had that power. By this time, Kirara had made it to the other side of the cot, and sat down next to Kagome's face. Her small beautiful eyes gazed at the injured girl questioningly, pitifully, and she mewed lovingly. Kagome knew Kirara was trying to be adorable for her sake. She tried to return the gesture with a smile, but couldn't even manage such a small thing. She turned her head again and gazed up at the ceiling. Sango, having been reminded of Kagome's injuries, moved to start bandaging the forearm, gently nudging Kirara out of the way.

It was several seconds later when Miroku spoke up again, "Okay, then… did anything seem off about him?"

"You mean other than the fact that he was trying to kill me?" She remarked bitterly.

"I mean was there anything about him that looked different? Was he in his youkai form?"

She shook her head.

"Explain to me, how did he attack you?"

"With his claws and Tetsusaiga."

Obviously, Miroku thought that he was going to get a different answer, because his eyes widened to twice their original size. "Tetsusaiga? Are you sure about that?"

"He tried to use Kaze no Kizu. I'd know it anywhere."

"Uh…" he struggled to think of something, anything that would prove this was all just a big misunderstanding.

Sango stepped in. "How was he even able to get close to you? Didn't you try sitting him?"

Kagome blinked, "I did, but nothing happened."

Everybody's eyes brightened hopefully for a few moments, before Kagome spoke again, "But he's already broken the kotodama rosary once before. If he did it once, he could do it again."

Sango and Miroku both heaved a heavy sigh. "Back where we started."

The person who had attacked Kagome had looked, sounded, and fought like Inuyasha. He even had a story that matched Inuyasha's attitude when their journey for jewel shards had just begun. Inuyasha had been the only one in the castle other than themselves, and there was no youkai out there powerful enough to do what Naraku did. And he not only had Tetsusaiga, he knew how to use it. So far, everything was supporting Kagome's story.

"Um… you guys?" Shippou finally spoke up.

The three humans all turned their hair towards the kitsune, who was standing by Kagome's stomach, his little fingers grasping her clothes, his head leaned slightly forward. He looked deeply troubled, and when he spoke, they knew why. "I can smell his fresh scent on her clothes."

"What?"

"There's no mistaking it. We haven't seen Inuyasha in days, but this is definitely Inuyasha's scent, and it's less than a day old."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Attempting to run after Kagome's scent made the healing process a lot slower on his wounds, but they definitely were healing. Within a few hours, he was able to run at a slight jog. By daybreak, he could run half the speed he could normally do in good health. Only problem was that in the hours he had taken, giving chase so slowly, Kirara could have carried Kagome hours and hours away from him.

Inuyasha hadn't the strength to count out how many days he had been separated from Kagome. By this time, her scent was practically nonexistent on his haori, stale and sorrowful. There was a small trace of it in the air, but mostly all he could smell was the reek of her blood, shaking his already weakened body with panic. Though he could no longer bring it upon himself to ever consider her weak in any way, he should have known that she didn't stand a chance alone in this world. And he should have known that she would be stupid enough to get herself into a predicament that not even the others could stop. Because she was just so damn curious… Always had her head in the clouds… Never thinking about the consequences of her actions… Assuming everything was just peachy… 'You'd better be okay. You wouldn't dare betray me!'

"God… Damnit!" He shouted out loud as his body burned.

The bandages were closed over his skin in a wholly unnatural way. Though he'd had more than his share of injuries in life, and had been wrapped in enough cloth to mummify him ten times over, he never kept them on for long. They were too hard to move around in. His face wrinkled in disgust as the ointment beneath the bandages began to dry, making his body feel hard and rubbery. With a movement of his claws, he sliced away the pieces, letting them fall to the ground in shreds. As he kicked away the bandages in frustration, he felt a sudden tweak in his heart. A vision clouded over his mind, a single thought of Kikyo, leaning over his body and staring at him with her full, beautiful, deadly eyes.

Had she been there all this time, in Naraku's castle? It surprised him greatly, that he hadn't thought of her in months, even though he still harbored deep feelings for her. And while he had known for a very long time that Kikyo kept to herself, he also knew that she had never been this far from him before, except maybe in death. Sooner or later, she would come looking for him, sometimes not even for anything important, as though it was just seeing him for a few fleeting seconds that made her solitude bearable. Endless questions plagued him about her absence for the past months. Why was she so far away from her village? Why was she all alone? Why had she chosen to stay in Naraku's castle when it was so vile that the very air was dead?

The hanyou held his arm against his stomach, which was at the moment feeling rather unsettled. The nauseous feeling that crept up his back nearly made him shiver… The injuries were deep, and a new ache issued as another painful explanation presented itself. 'Kikyo… Do you really hate me so much that you would injury me with your powers?'

He ground his teeth together, 'And then you bandage me? As though that would make me forgive you?'

Of course, he knew that in the past he had forgiven Kikyo many times when he probably shouldn't have. Kagome knew better than anyone that when it came to Kikyo, Inuyasha was never willing to admit that he had misjudged someone. Not someone who he had loved once. Perhaps it was his desperation to have what they had once lost that had made him so ready to accept Kikyo's mistakes. He saw now… that perhaps Kikyo wasn't willing to accept him, no matter what her feelings were for him, nor would she accept that Inuyasha now loved someone far more than he could ever love Kikyo. For someone who was so stubborn, perhaps he should have been less weak. Perhaps if he hadn't been so naïve, he would have realized that Kikyo was ruthless enough to set nearly-lethal traps for him, in an attempt to impede his escape, so that while he healed she could convince him to leave Kagome.

A new anger welled up inside him. A feeling of betrayal and disgust. A bittersweet taste in his mouth at the thought of his old love, where there was once warmth and hope. 'Ain't gonna happen! I'll never leave Kagome! I never thought you'd stoop so low to even try!'

The winds suddenly changed, and Inuyasha cursed loudly, for if they became too restless he might lose Kagome's scent. But with a few minutes, it appeared that the change had worked to his advantage. Very distinctly, he could make out the many smells of a forest not of the winter, smells of forest vegetation, pine, and fresh air. Alongside it were the unmistakable traces of two different youki. Kagome's scent was still stale in the air, but if Shippou and Kirara were close by, it could only mean that Kagome was close too.

His feet pressed harder into the ground as he ran, as though it would counteract the weakness that saturated his muscles. It was nothing if it meant that the others were close. Very soon, he would have to pretend that he felt no pain. Although, he didn't really know if he could hold up if something _had _happened to Kagome. 'First thing's first. I'll make sure Kagome's alright. Once I'm sure of that, then I can focus on letting my injuries heal properly.'

He caught sight of them!

Skidding to a halt in a clearing, he didn't even mind the roughness of the dirt on his feet. His eyes instantly scanned the area for signs of Kagome as he panted and held his stomach. Wetness drenched his fingers. The wound had reopened.

But when his eyes and nose could find no trace of Kagome, or any other human for that matter, he turned his gaze back to the kitsune, who at that moment dropped the rather large pile of acorns and herbs that he had gathered. They scattered all over the ground, and all Shippou could do was look at Inuyasha pale-faced, as though he had seen a ghost. Inuyasha opened his mouth, "Shippou-."

"Fly, Kirara! Fly!" the kitsune screamed.

Inuyasha blinked as the bush behind Shippou suddenly burst into flames. It wasn't long afterwards that the demonic form of Kirara emerged, leaving the bush surprisingly unscorched. She didn't even pause as she leapt forward to grab the back of Shippou's shirt in her teeth, and with a wide leap, she took off into the skies with incredible speed, leaving the hanyou with his mouth agape and his eyes wide.

It was a second later that he realized what had just happened. They had run away from him. Confused as ever, he screamed out, "Shippou! Kirara! Where the fuck are you going? Come back here!"

Cursing the two of them, and silently promising the beat the kit, Inuyasha tore out into another run as he chased after them. "Shippou!"

He could see them. He could tell Shippou had heard him, because his little body tensed and he seemed to flail his arms and shout at Kirara, who then sped up even more. Inuyasha bellowed, "Where's Kagome?"

They were gone.

With an agonized groan, the hanyou forced himself to stop. Amidst the confusion boiling in his mind, his body's cry for attention would not be ignored. As his feet finally stilled, he threw one hand against a tree to hold himself up. Panting and staring into the empty skies, he waited for the awful pain to subside. When he was finally ready, he glanced down towards his stomach. The arm that was braced against him was soaked in red. As he peeled back his hand, a thickened layer of blood spread over his palm. Though the blood flow was not fast, Inuyasha quickly covered up the wound again.

'Kagome…,' he glanced up again at where Shippou and Kirara had flown away, '…They are running from me…?'

Inwardly chastising himself for the sickening feeling inside him that his friends should abandon him, he forced himself to run again. The pain never went away. But right now, all that mattered was finding Kagome. Something was very wrong. His friends, no matter how much they fought, would never run away from him with such fear in their eyes. He had never seen Shippou look so petrified. And a very deep part of his gut screamed at him that such fear was somehow, someway connected back to Kagome. Could he doubt that something might have happened to her, causing the group to fall apart, making the others fear what Inuyasha would do when he found them? Perhaps they were smart to run from him then.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

She couldn't help it as she gazed blankly into the crackling fire, breathing in the fumes absentmindedly, never a care for the unnatural flush on her cheeks. Her eyes, eerily dark and deep. Her hair, illuminated to a soft brown in the orange flicker of flame. Her heartbeat, pounding violently in her ear despite the stillness that enveloped her. It was here she sat as her tears finally stopped, not because we no longer felt the pain, but because she didn't have the strength to cry anymore. Her eyes ached with the force of her sobs. Of course, this had happen for times already in the past few hours. Once her body stopped protesting her pain, she would once again let her tears flow.

She had asked to be left alone, and there so she was, though they were never far away. It was odd to her, to be using a hut that she didn't own. A fleeting thought of the graciousness to the owner for letting her use it for the day came and went. But the hut was empty to her. She had no binds to this place.

With time and patience, she was able to pull herself into a sitting position. Now, as she pushed against the wall for some fraction of strength, she proceeded into a standing position with a wince. Then, pawing her knuckles against the wood, she walked her way around the hut and towards the door. When she stepped out into the open world, she found herself in the outskirts of some village situated on the hillsides of a mountain. Much like the village she recalled, this place was nestled where the trees had been cleared away, although here the nearby foliage was scarce and bare.

Sango had been kicking the dirt off her shoes when she finally noticed Kagome's emergence. "Kagome-chan… You can stand?"

The young girl nodded in her direction ever so slightly, and leaned against the doorframe with her hands gripping the smooth edges. Sango noticed with slight astonishment that all traces of light were gone from Kagome's face, any friendly feeling swept away. "I can stand alright. Don't worry about it."

The distress clearly etched in Kagome's features had toiled long hours with what could be remembered of her character. It vied to make of her a broken memory, in that her broken heart was a wound to be worn on her skin. Though the exterminator kept her silence, it greatly bothered her, the abnormal coldness of her friend's stance. There hadn't been a day when Sango couldn't recall the spark that Kagome ignited, in simply freeing whatever emotions she felt, whether the deepest sadness or the most profound joy. And she knew without having to ask that Kagome still fought with how she should feel, what she should believe. She knew that Kagome thought it an act of stupidity both to disregard the past and to accept it so easily. Her silence echoed the fear that she was going mad with confusion, with the daftness that she could not escape. What Sango could and would believe was without any clear foundation, for although her memory served to rekindle her faith in Inuyasha, so did the evidence make her a fool for believing.

The silence proceeded many moments after. Sango, who spent the time studiously staring at her giant boomerang went practically unnoticed by the miko. She had been staring with critical eyes at the passing villagers, who for some unknown reason refrained themselves from meeting her gaze. A fleeting thought crossed Sango's mind, that maybe they too thought Kagome a disturbed woman. "When the owner of this hut comes back," Kagome finally spoke, "we must remember to thank him properly."

Sango said nothing, and only gazed with sorrowful eyes at her broken friend.

"…We'll have to leave soon."

Sango knew what Kagome was implying. Eventually, Inuyasha could come after them, and with his nose, no doubt he would be following them much closer than they imagined. The night before had she expected him to arrive, but after hearing about Inuyasha's betrayal, Sango could only assume that Inuyasha was laying low until the right time came. He would come for the jewel. They had to run away, all of them. She didn't know where or how they would live or what they would do, but if they could survive even a couple days longer, they had to try.

It didn't feel right, running away from the man who had been their leader for years. Sure, he wasn't exactly agreeable, tactful, or even very smart. But every one of them had such loyalty to him, it was hard to throw it all away in one day. And Sango knew they couldn't run forever. Sooner or later, they would face the hanyou, and this time, on opposing sides. Making a face as her stomach turned, the exterminator tried to harden her reserve. She didn't think she could actually fight Inuyasha, or at least, she didn't think she could physically harm him. He was her friend, he was their protector, and more importantly, Sango knew that Kagome still loved him too much for her to consider such a thing.

It was possible that this was all wrong, she had told herself. Hope upon hope couldn't match her want to believe everything wasn't as it seemed. Until they faced Inuyasha, until she put herself face-first against the prospect of hurting her friend, they would never know the truth.

"Sango!"

They both heard the cry, though Sango seemed more distressed by the kitsune's call than did Kagome. Considering how close the kit and the miko were, it was a slight surprise that Shippou had chosen to call out to Sango when they both were present. She made a face, thinking that perhaps Shippou too had grown cautious of any interaction with Kagome.

But it was left to be pondered over at another time. As Sango stood, Kirara landed harshly some feet away, and a frantic Shippou sprang from her back and scurried over to the exterminator, followed immediately by the neko-youkai. By this time, Miroku, who had been loitering nearby, had rushed to Sango's side to hear what had the kitsune so flustered. Shippou tripped just in front of them, landing on his stomache at their feet. The monk and his wife looked down at Shippou curiously, who was panting loudly and still attempting to speak at the same time. Sango knelt down, gently picked him up from the ground, and set him back on his feet. "What's wrong, Shippou-chan?"

"In… Inuyasha… Inuyasha's here!"

A shock reverberated through Sango's spin as she suddenly sprang back upright. Finding herself not properly dressed for a fight, she cursed herself for not being ready sooner. Her eyes darted over to Kagome, who suddenly looked towards the group with wide eyes, not full of fear, joy, or sadness, but of some nameless emotion. The miko's lips barely moved as she uttered, "Inuyasha…"

Sango felt that she knew that look, the look of unrequited longing. Was the girl still so keen upon seeing the hanyou? True, she did love him, and it had been many days since she had last been close to him. Despite what had happened, perhaps her emotions were too torn for her to realize what could happen to her if Inuyasha was indeed seeking the jewel.

Miroku hurriedly questioned, "Where is he, Shippou? How far off did you see him?"

"Just a few miles away. He couldn't keep up with us, I think because he was injured, but by now, he must be at or at least close to the other side of the village!"

Sure enough, as though on cue, troubled cries echoed in the distance. _"Youkai… Youkai in the village… Don't let him come any closer…"_

The yells were almost immediately followed by a familiar crashing noise, the sound of shattering wood, and the exterminator knew at once that a hut had fallen beneath a hard blow. She heard aggravated cries; a voice she remembered. The chaotic noises of swords, arrows flying, men shouting, woman and children screaming, the booming sound of men being flung to the ground in piles. There wasn't much time…

"Miroku! Quickly, try to stall him as much as you can while I get ready!" Sango commanded as she made a rush over to Kagome.

Kirara followed after her. Sango turned to the neko-youkai, "Kirara, get Kagome out of here now! Get as far away from here as you can! We will find you again!"

At that moment, Kagome seemed to be snapped out of he daze, and she looked at Sango questioningly, "What? But Sango-chan, I have to-."

Sango interrupted, gripping the miko's shoulders, "I know… You want to stay here to find out the truth for yourself."

Kagome cringed a little, a little uncomfortable that Sango could read her uncertainty so well when even she could not.

Sango continued, "But Kagome-chan, if what you said is true then we cannot take that risk. Until we know for sure what is going on, we can't have you near Inuyasha. I'm sorry, but you have to go now."

Kagome's eyes glimmered with upset. Regardless of how ardently she wished to see Inuyasha, to see for herself what his true intentions were, she knew that she might only get close enough to discover the truth before he kills her. And while being in this world, feeling so alone and lost, made death seem not so horrible a fate, she had at least enough sense about her to know that she had to fight for whatever life she was destined to have. She only wished she knew for certain that she was right to run from the one she loved.

The cries of the villagers were becoming louder, and Kagome gasped almost inaudibly. She gripped Sango's clothing, "Don't hurt him. Promise me that you won't."

The desperate plea only served to intensify the woman's distress. "I can't promise that, Kagome-chan. But I promise that I won't do anything I won't need to, not until I know for certain what is going on. And I'll keep to that promise as long as you get out of here right now."

Two tears broke free, one trailing down either side of Kagome's cheeks. When she didn't reply, Sango did the only thing she could do. She gently pulled her friend over to Kirara and helped her on. Kagome did not resist. As Sango pulled away, she gripped Kagome's hand and gave it a light squeeze. "Stay safe. We won't let him hurt you."

Sooner than Kagome was ready for, the neko-youkai had taken off into the air. She nearly lost her balance, but grabbed hold of Kirara's fur securely as they quickly gained altitude. The loud wind suddenly whipped at her skin, and she buried her face into the fur in front of her. 'Thing is… I think I actually still believe he would never hurt me.'

To be continued…

**As always, I would really appreciate your reviews. And thanks to all those who have been so patiently supporting me through this fantastic year that can't go any slower. I love you all!**


	21. Ch 21: These Are My Friends

Chapter 21: These are My Friends

The ensnaring branches of trees and bushes thrashed against Inuyasha's skin, sometimes as sharp as barbs, drawing out the faintest lines of liquid red. Clumsily did he burrow through, for there was no path to follow, his leaps were small and uncoordinated, and the bitter cold disoriented his sense of direction, his tired muscles strained against the bone. Most unhappy forest that had once sheltered him now mocked him with violent throws of wind, betraying his senses to the core, as he had soon lost the scents of his retreating friends. A rotten aftertaste infiltrated his mouth, thicker than blood and smoother than water. A long-learned lesson of betrayal, from all those in life who had cast him away.

With the recollection of such happenings, the hanyou growled to think that Shippou and Kirara had so hurriedly fled. They, who were not even human, but youkai, more likely to attack out of spite rather than cower away from a pathetic half-breed. He couldn't admit the underlying fear, that for whatever reason, they planned to abandon him. He couldn't because he couldn't face the idea of being alone again. Only he had to know why they ran; and if it wasn't out of an ignorant fear, then was it out of fear of what he might do when he found them? Was there something so ghastly waiting for him that it constituted running from his wrath?

His pace slowed as he came upon a clearing where a peaceful village was already in full swing. His experience had taught him at least one thing: whether you mean to inflict harm or not, the moment a human sees a fast-running demon coming in their direction, they will always assume the worst. Taking that ever-so-slightly into consideration, he attempted to alter his unkempt features, so as to make himself not look so much like a wild animal on the loose but rather like an innocent hanyou in a rush. Despite his familiarity with rejection, the first frightened gasp tugged as his heart, and he realized with unprepared shock that his plan had failed.

The farmer woman who had seen him first did not scream, but her husband did, as soon as he recognized what she was staring at. "Youkai! Youkai in the village!"

Grimacing against the unreasonable cries of women and the angry snarls of men, Inuyasha quickly decided that he didn't have time to appease them. Kagome's scent was closer. His first and foremost priority was finding her, and these villagers could just fuck off for all Inuyasha cared.

As countless people scrambled here and there to either hide or arm themselves, Inuyasha continued at a quick speed into the mouth of the village. Another man cried out, "Don't let him come any closer!"

Three sharp brushes of wind shot under his neck and legs. With an echoing thud, the arrows hit the wall of a hut mere inches short of their intended target. Inuyasha's temper was quickly rising, and he skidded to a halt and glared at the assaulters, a group of apparent local soldiers with their bows at the ready.

"Leave me the fuck alone! I'm looking for someone and I won't let you delay me!"

"You mean to attack one of our own? Whatever it is you intend to do, we will not let you succeed!" One of them shouted.

More arrows came hurtling towards him, and he just had enough time to evade them. More and more villagers emerged from their huts with katanas, bows, or shotguns. Though Inuyasha knew better than to kill such people, despite how heartless they were, he did know that scaring people into submission was often the best tactic. Growling loudly, he unsheathed Tetsusaiga. The very sight of the weapon as it transformed into a blade at least ten times its size in the sheath was enough to startle a good number of men. When they still didn't back down, Inuyasha decided it was time for a demonstration.

"Get out of my way!"

The people didn't know what to think as they saw the monstrous sword releasing a blinding light that tore through earth and wood, sending a nearby abandoned hut to the air in splinters. Unfortunately for the hanyou, they did not flee in terror, but rather rose up to defend their village from being utterly demolished by such a sword. Those brave enough charged at Inuyasha with their blades swinging. Inuyasha punched the first in the jaw, flung the second one down, jumped over the next three and turned to deliver a kick that sent five to the ground and onto the rest.

One valiant boy, not three years younger than Inuyasha himself, approached the hanyou from behind and grabbed hold of both his ears, twisting them agonizingly. Inuyasha did not waste any time. He ducked underneath and swung his hands around to wrap around the poor boy's legs. As the boy fell to the ground, the hanyou reemerged towering above him, snarling behind vicious fangs, his claws sharp and defined, pointed for the boy's neck in preparation for a fatal blow.

"Inuyasha!"

The familiar voice broke the hanyou away from his fury. His head shot up to see Miroku standing still and tense some yards away. "Leave the boy alone! Your fight is not with him!"

Inuyasha remembered himself immediately. There was no time to deal with these pathetic humans. He had to worry about Kagome. Inuyasha left the boy where he was and darted in Miroku's direction, shouting, "Is Kagome alright? Where is she, Miroku?"

And then, with a most unpleasant jolt to both his mind and body, Inuyasha forced himself to a stop. Miroku stood exactly where he was before, only this time, his right hand was outstretched, his left hand grasping the prayer beads that kept his curse contained. The hardened stare of hatred and bitterness pierced Inuyasha's reserve, and he felt almost dizzy in both shock and confusion. That stare was unlike anything Inuyasha had seen before. And he had seen a lot. He had seen every possible emotion there was, and there was not a name for the unfamiliar poison of Miroku's look as it was now. So unknowing, so malicious, so tumultuous. The monk who put his life on the line for them all. The hentai who still had a heart the size of a mountain. Inuyasha's friend, Inuyasha's annoying brother, Inuyasha's noble companion.

Inuyasha's grimace was deep, though it was staggering, "Miroku…"

"Don't think I wouldn't hesitate to suck you in, Inuyasha," Miroku called out, "I may be a monk, but I still know without a doubt that this is a battle worth fighting."

'Battle?' Inuyasha thought.

"Bozou… You wish to fight me, do you?" Inuyasha tried to give an intimidating smirk, but the powerful emotions raging inside him would not let it be.

Miroku did not answer, nor did he move.

Inuyasha shouted, "Whatever shit you're pulling, I have no time for it. Get out of my way before I send you to an early grave!"

Without blinking, Miroku slid the prayer beads off his wrist. Inuyasha twitched slightly, but the monk had kept his fist closed. The moment he moved his fingers just an inch, the kazaana would open. "You bastard. We'll never let you near Kagome-sama again."

And then Inuyasha's blood boiled. "AAAAHH!"

The hanyou sprang forward with Tetsusaiga raised high. The monk immediately opened Kazaana, causing the hanyou to fly forward even faster. Being just yards away from each other to begin with, it took a mere two seconds to cover the distance between them. Inuyasha's sword was raised with the intent of lobbing off Miroku's hand before he could be sucked in. However, in mid air, he felt an annoying pang in his heart, his body itself apposing the thought of harming one of his dear friends. At that moment, he had no idea what he should do. Would the monk really suck him in? Would Inuyasha defend himself, possibly handicapping Miroku for life? Inuyasha, half infuriated and half confused, didn't expect the Kazaana to suddenly release him as he came close enough.

Though Inuyasha never lost his demeanor, a rush of air filled his lungs as he realized that Miroku had closed the air void on purpose before he could be sucked in. 'What the fuck is going on?'

Inuyasha didn't take time to stop and talk. The second he landed, he turned a delivered a hard punch to Miroku's cheek, sending him hurdling through the air. The monk rolled on the jagged ground ten times before forcing himself to stop with his arms. Inuyasha barked, "What the fuck is the matter with you?"

Miroku, who had been lying on his stomach, turned his face up again to glare at the hanyou. For a moment, Inuyasha thought that he had found the Miroku he knew so well. Miroku would never endanger the lives of innocent strangers, nor would he ever turn on a loyal friend. Especially if Inuyasha did nothing to warrant such unbecoming malice. Inuyasha didn't wait for Miroku to start the battle again. Kagome's scent suddenly was dwindling, and fear coiled around his heart. He shot off once again, past the other soldiers that came to help, following the aging scent of his girl. Miroku's voice echoed behind him, "No! Stop!"

"Hiraikotsu!"

A gasp. '…Sango…'

The oversized boomerang collided with the ground with the force of a gunshot, and the air was immediately polluted with dust. Inuyasha quickly covered his eyes as bits of rock shot at him. They instead stung the skin on his hand. When he lowered his arm, yet another friend was poised to fight, colder still than Miroku, the same determination that was famous of her whenever she took down a youkai. She, too, so suddenly filled with hatred for him? Sango, who was a fighter good enough to be his equal, defender of humans, friend of youkai, the balance between war and affection, symbol of all things righteous, of all her occupation stood for. As good as any man, she was; as any youkai, in many aspects, she was. Why else had he taken her into their group? Because despite herself, despite her lust for revenge, the woman exterminator's opinion was not so unforgiving. Though she fought to kill those just like him, she was good enough to judge them the way they ought to be judged. To him, an instant friend, her pain fresh at losing her family, a steady reminder that he was not alone in such mourning.

"Sango…" His eyes were shaking, and he knew it.

Forcing himself to toughen up, he glowered as though he had no kind feeling for her, "You too, huh?"

The edge of Hiraikotsu stuck up towards him. He grabbed a hold of it, "…You too…… SO UNREASONABLY KEEP ME AWAY?"

The boomerang hurled forward, and it went somehow unnoticed that it had passed her a whole four feet away. Sango turned into it and followed the boomerang's movement. Her hand grasped the strap and she made a full spin. With her weapon back in her hands, Inuyasha let her charge first. The exterminator hung onto it as she swung hard at him repeatedly. Inuyasha hurriedly leapt out of the path of each blow, not daring to lift Tetsusaiga.

'Shit… What should I do?'

What should he do? No matter how good a fighter she was, Inuyasha could never hit a woman. Especially not a human woman. It just wasn't right.

"Come to your senses, Sango!"

It did not quell her anger; in fact, it issued an unpleasant growl from her throat. It seemed then that Sango put more force into her swings, and as Inuyasha quickly moved, she took the chance to trip him with a kick. Inuyasha grunted loudly as he collided with the hard earth, and not a second later he heard Sango's loud cry of war. Moving quickly, he spun out of the way and gripped the hilt of his sword with both hands. As the boomerang came down to strike, Inuyasha had just managed to make it to his feet. His sword came up and clanged against the bone of Sango's weapon. He had blocked the strike.

Neither moved then. Inuyasha found Sango's eyes again and searched them frantically for some kind of answer to this madness. He wanted to tell her, he couldn't hurt her. She was his friend. Whatever grudge she bore against him, Inuyasha could never bring it upon himself to strike her down. He couldn't utter it. He did not want to die. If she knew it, wouldn't it only prove to her that she could kill him without a fuss?

Their twisted faces were equal in flushness and tenseness. No, he could never hope to win if he couldn't deliver the blows.

It only was then that he noticed… the force of Sango's push on him. Tetsusaiga was held at a horizontal angle, practically parallel to the ground except tilted up somewhat at the end to meet the opposing boomerang, which came down at his left. Sango leaned against the boomerang, trying to force Tetsusaiga down. Inuyasha had had to place one hand on the blade, opposite the hilt, in order to keep that side steady. In the course of seeing such impertinent technicalities, a shock ran through his spine as he realized the positions of both Sango and her weapon. The way her body was leaning, it was apparent that she had tried a vertical blow, and it was in no way slanted. Yet, the boomerang had come down past his shoulders. Even if Inuyasha had not put his sword up, she would have missed him completely.

How often did Sango miss a target, and so close up?

'She's trying… not to hit me?'

………………………………………………………………………………………………

They had climbed the winds until the violent force of them calmed. When she finally opened her eyes, the sweet wrinkle of sunshine warmed her frozen face. The clouds were parting. Her fingers gripped the pale fur she lay upon, not so much that she feared falling but that she took comfort in knowing she was not alone. She never feared such high places. She loved to fly. The only difference was that usually she was on someone else's back… Such comfort she had once felt, as his arms gripped her thighs, a feeling of closeness that made her forget to breathe. It was more than just touch. She had heard his wild heart beating, vibrating throughout his body and into her own breast. Her heart, her life fell in time with his. Nothing had ever made her feel more complete.

It seemed now that she didn't even know her own heartbeat. Perhaps it was too broken to work.

"Kirara," she murmured, "I'm feeling rather hungry. Can we stop for a while?"

The winds picked up again as they descended.

There wasn't a river nearby, but they did manage to find a pond. The fish weren't very big, but they would do for the time being. Kagome couldn't remember the last time she ate. Kirara caught what fish she could and they went to settle down somewhere deep in the shelter of the forest. In a few minutes, Kagome had a fire going. Some minutes more, and the fish was cooked.

She removed from the fire the sticks which she used to skewer the fish. Kirara tenderly pawed at Kagome's thigh, and gave her the most adorable look imaginable. The girl offered her a weak smile, happy not to be alone, and a fish. The neko-youkai quickly took to eating the meat off the skewer in small bites. Her soft purr resonated whenever she took the time to breathe. Kagome supposed she should have been just as enthusiastic about a meal, considering she hadn't had one in the longest time. Her stomach ached.

She couldn't help but be distracted from her hunger as the serenity of the forest took hold of her. The sun was out again. The snow here had practically melted completely away. The air was still freezing, but the rays of sunlight through the bare trees made everything appear warm. Was it not still the dead of winter? Did she not feel the bitter cold, did she not stare confused at the warmth of the sun? The world was freezing and cruel, only she, so naïve and inexperienced, somehow believed the dark times were behind her, that this world would now be filled with nothing but sunlight, fresh air, loving faces. Her mind would not let go of the idea that what she felt on her skin was bound to pass, and her heart demanded that what she saw with her eyes was a cruel trick.

Kirara's purring returned, and Kagome was then reminded of the food that still lay untouched in her lap. Whatever fears she had that the entire world was an illusion would have to be put aside. After all, what good was it to try to see past something when she did not yet know how? She lifted the skewer upwards, and was practically level with her chin before she suddenly paused and dropped back a few inches. Staring at the cooked fish, its tail wrapped tightly around the skewer, she couldn't help the memories that came to mind. Inuyasha… frustrated and tired, slamming his fists into the water because every fish had thusfar evaded his grasp. Gutting the live-specimens right infront of her face, shoving the uncooked food in her lap for her to cook, only to have her push the bloody food away as nausea took over. Watching as Inuyasha greedily snatched Shippou's meal from his little hands, and only leaving his stomach to suffer when it was Kagome that would go without food. Inuyasha… practically force-feeding her unnecessarily big portions of food because it had been too long since a decent meal, and because Kagome looked skin and bones. Inuyasha… throwing away a meal he had chased all afternoon and, Kagome having seen the kill of whatever adorable animal he caught, releasing it back into the wilderness.

'Suddenly… my appetite is gone.'

She couldn't eat. She placed the untouched fish on the ground for Kirara, then brought her knees up to her chin and buried her face in between. Once again, as had happened in countless waves of emotion for the past day, she cried, loud and steadfast. And Kirara, oddly ignoring the alluring scent of the fish meat, balanced her forepaws on Kagome's thigh, nuzzled her head at Kagome's side, mewed comfortingly as the girl fell apart once again. Kagome took the neko-youkai into her arms, letting her soft furr and comforting purr bring what little comfort it could to her skin. Kagome knew… she wasn't really alone… but she was very alone… now that she had lost _him _forever.

To be continued…


	22. Ch 22: Hesitation

**:( Only 7 reviews? I am rather sad. Hopefully the chapter wasn't that bad? Please, everybody... I know more than 7 people are reading this story. Please leave reviews. I know it seems pointless, but it really makes me happy. **

Chapter 22: Hesitation

Inuyasha's bewilderment must have been apparent in his features, for the hanyou had never felt so… clueless… in all his life. That, and the fact that he had yet to lay eyes on Kagome… well he might just have to knock some sense into them in order to get what he wanted. On that note, no matter the brash (to say the least) offense on her part, Inuyasha tried to keep his voice calm as he asked to Sango, "Where's Kagome?"

"Gone… And you will never touch her again!" She ground out.

The hanyou then forgot about any patience, and he growled, "What is that supposed to mean? Dead… Is she dead, Sango! Even if she was, do you think there is any way I would let you stop me from being with her again?"

Without warning, Inuyasha found himself being knocked away from the exterminator by a blow to the cheek. He stumbled back, nearly falling to the ground, and took wide steps to maintain his balance. When he got back to his senses, he realized it was not Sango who had delivered the punch, but her husband, who stood protectively in front of his wife with his fist still clenched. Obviously, the monk thought by Inuyasha's intimidating face that Sango was being either threatened or was about to be attacked. "I will not hesitate, Inuyasha, if you seek to harm my wife as well!"

Inuyasha ground his teeth. Did the monk really think that he would harm Sango? Did he think someone with honor would lay a hand on any woman in such a manner? It made him sick, to think that this was the opinion of him. Kagome knew… Kagome would have told him that Inuyasha was too noble to harm the innocent. He had thought, hoped that Kagome's goodness had rubbed off on everyone, that they would also know what the boundaries of his ruthlessness were. It appeared that he was mistaken.

Miroku glared back, and Inuyasha noticed the darkened skin on his upper cheek. A bruise forming from the punch the hanyou had delivered not minutes earlier. From the look of it, the blow was deep, and some blood vessels lay broken beneath the skin. Inuyasha cringed.

"Are you alright?" Miroku asked of Sango.

When she replied that she was fine, Miroku returned his gaze to Inuyasha. 'The only reason I punched Inuyasha just now was that I thought Sango was in danger. Before that, I couldn't even stand by ground for more than two minutes.'

The monk didn't know it, but his wife was having similar thoughts as well. 'It was like my very body refused to harm Inuyasha. I've sworn to myself I won't let Inuyasha hurt Kagome, and I can't even bring a half-youkai down.'

Inuyasha repositioned Tetsusaiga in front of him in an attempt to intimidate them, though he assumed by now that the odds of that working were rather thin. "Temee… What the fuck is wrong with you? Why won't you let me see Kagome?"

"Because we are her friends," Sango remarked indignantly.

"Keh! _Friends_ don't keep their friend away from someone who is their suitor!"

Miroku replied, "And _suitors_ don't attack their lovers, Inuyasha!"

… "Wha…? And why does that apply to me?" Inuyasha asked warily, beginning to go suspicious of an impossible answer.

"You know very well why!" Sango shouted, "We know all about what you did at Naraku's castle, how you ruthlessly clawed at her to steal the Shikon jewel!"

Now he _knew _he was going to be sick. "Are you fucking insane!"

"Don't try to lie to me! We all saw her wounds! Luckily we could get her out of here in time before you came to try to finish what you started!"

For a moment, the only thing Inuyasha heard in his head was that Kagome was hurt, and an instinctive rage welled up in his skull. But the shock of the last statement soon left his head spinning, turned his mind into jelly, ran him dry of his passionate fury. By now, Inuyasha felt his head buzzing. Never in his wildest imaginations did he think that this would be why his friends would turn against him. It was impossible, sickening, for them to even consider such a thing. Did they not realize that Inuyasha had been courting Kagome for the past few months? Weren't they there when Inuyasha proclaimed his love for her at the final battle with Naraku?

The figures before him did not flinch at his silence. The hatred they had for him was clear, chaining him to the spot, suspending him in time and feeling. Blinded by the weakness he had for these humans, he stood still and breathed in the fire from their eyes. He cursed their pull on him, spat at their scents, hissed at the memory of their comforting presence. He could not fight them, could not run. How could he not run and reason with their absurdities when he didn't even understand how they could think this up?

"Silence, Inuyasha?" Sango spat out.

"What do you expect me to say," replied Inuyasha in a low voice, "when you've accused me of such a thing? I cannot say a thing, but rather recover from the injustice you give me…"

He raised his head slightly, his face wrinkling unnaturally as he snarled barely above a whisper, "Not even you two could possibly be that stupid."

"Insults will get you nowhere," said Miroku.

"There is no way you could possibly be in your right minds!" yelled Inuyasha, "You know better than anyone that I would NEVER hurt Kagome! When have I ever laid a hand on her, huh? In three years, as there ever been a time when I hit her or any other woman?"

Sango clutched to the back of Miroku's robes as her throat went dry. Inuyasha went on, "As I remember it, you two were always the ones pressuring me to stay with Kagome! No matter how annoying or pointless it was! Even when I only wanted her to be safe, you wouldn't have me let her go! Now, you accuse me of attacking her? As though everything I've ever done for her sake has been a lie?"

"There's no room to question your guilt," Miroku replied, refusing to let the hanyou's argument get to him, "All the evidence is pointing directly at you."

"Evidence?"

"Shippou could smell your fresh scent on Kagome's clothes. There can be no doubt that you were with her yesterday."

A small squeak could be heard in the grass some distance away, though the grass was too tall to see who it was. "Don't tell him that!"

Inuyasha was too fast. Before Sango or Miroku could even react, Inuyasha had jumped to the side and thrust his hand into the grass. He retracted it a moment later as a high-pitched scream filled the air. The hanyou's hand clutched hard to Shippou's tail, suspending the kitsune up at eye level. The two humans gasped, and forced their fighting instincts down to a halt as they witnessed the situation before them. They were in no way fast enough to rescue Shippou when Inuyasha held Tetsusaiga in his opposite hand. If Inuyasha was truly ruthless, one step, and Inuyasha could run the little one through. They watched on helplessly and wide-eyed as Shippou flailed his arms wildly and sobbed. They winced at the desperate cries for help from the child they had all long considered their own.

When he made to reach into his pocket for one of his tricks, Inuyasha leveled the tip of his sword with Shippou's nose. "Don't you dare try a thing, runt!"

The kitsune quivered, and held his arms out at his sides to appease the hanyou. Inuyasha was nose-to-nose with him. "What the fuck are you pulling?"

Shippou hesitated, and tears streamed down his face, infuriating his capturer all the more. The hanyou would be damned if he let another person close to him heart sway him with sorrow. "Answer me!" Inuyasha commanded.

"Leave him alone!" Miroku shouted, "He's just a child!"

"And this child's game is the reason why you two are doubting me!"

"It wasn't just what he said, Inuyasha!" Sango exclaimed, "Kagome herself told us that it was you! Your fresh scent on her clothes just confirmed it."

Inuyasha's eyes widened. "Wha…?"

Despite the fact that his mind was in tatters from confusion, that emotion was almost forgotten as he felt his heart suddenly caving in on itself. His burning lungs constricted tightly. His insides were instantly sucked dry. A pain so sharp it reveled in the thickness of his thoughts. Sure as could be that his stomach was swimming up his throat, he fought back the urge to heave.

"You're lying!" Inuyasha shouted, a little louder than he had anticipated.

His Kagome knew who he was inside and out. Even if at times she doubted his love, even if he made her cry more times than he could bear to remember, even if she was manipulated to bring Inuyasha down, she could never abandon him. Although she tried a few times before, it was impossible for someone as pure as her to turn away from those who needed her. What always set her apart from others in his mind was that she could read him like a book. She always said that no matter how brusque he wanted to be, he could not hide his heart. No matter what happened, she always found him. She always believed in him. The first person who ever looked at him as something more, she was his heart personified. Everything he wanted from the world that refused to let him in: love, hope, and especially trust. And she trusted him!

"How dare you say such a thing!" Inuyasha yelled, squeezing Shippou's tail a little too tightly, "I won't forgive you!"

"Why should she, Inuyasha? What have you done to prove that she can rely on you?" Sango shouted back.

Inuyasha paused and his whole face seemed to drop. If only Sango knew what her statement would reduce him to, "From the very beginning, Kagome opened her heart and soul to you, and you stomped on it! You ran off with Kikyo without saying a thing, refusing to look Kagome in the eye afterwards! You've called her names, kept her from her family, used her for your own selfish needs! You destroyed any possible way for her to see her family ever again! And on top of that, when Kagome needs you most, you run! Just like you ran to Naraku's castle without telling anyone a thing! Why would she trust you?"

A timid, scared, fragile part inside of him wanted to beg her to stop, to take it all back. Pitiful, that there was someone inside him so ready to ask for mercy. More than anything, he wanted to deny everything she had said. And how could he? God help him… everything she said was true. In truth he had blocked away these thoughts from his mind, the thoughts that made him want to die of guilt, hoping they wouldn't haunt him to his dying day. How hard it had been to convince himself that such things could be forgotten. His history with Kagome was one stained with his heartless, selfish actions. She cried, fought, bled for him, just as she smiled, laughed, and loved for him. Every tear, he deserved. None of the warmth she had shown him over the years.

The scent of her sorrow was pressed firmly into his memory, accompanied by the constant ache to mend it. Yet in spite of the limitless bounds he would go for her, he hurt her more and more every time, hurt his own heart every time. And for every mistake that had turned on him with her tears, he felt he could do ten times more to make her smile. And because he loved her like a madman, even if she somehow couldn't see love in his eyes, couldn't she at least see that he would cherish her forever?

Inuyasha lowered his head so that his eyes were hidden behind his bangs. When he realized that Shippou could still see them, he shut them tight and forced back the liquid heat that burned beneath. The hanyou didn't notice, but Shippou suddenly lost his fear. In an odd twist of the child's innocent mind, he could practically touch the pain that leaked around the hanyou. Inuyasha's paled face seemed to struggle to form a flush. The cheekbones and forehead were taut, appearing as hard as rock. A wave of pink tinted his cheeks, so very faint it was like there was barely any blood for the task. Despite Shippou's deep hatred for the hanyou that had hurt his adoptive sister, the kitsune couldn't help but hate to see his face so contorted, couldn't help but pity him, couldn't help but want to apologize.

"I-Inuyasha…"

"Kagome doesn't even know it, does she?" the hanyou said, his voice soft and trembling.

Shippou didn't answer. Inuyasha tried to form a smirk, and failed miserably, "Baka… and I thought it was so clear…"

It nearly moved the kitsune to tears again. Sango was already well on her way, but for very different reasons. She felt as though her whole heart had been torn in half.

Inuyasha went on, "Stupid… stupid girl… This… was the last thing I thought I needed to prove to her, or to you…"

"You have nothing to prove!" Sango cried, "You have done nothing to deserve her trust!"

"I HAVE LOVED HER, SANGO!" Inuyasha screamed, the echoes pounding at his friends' ears.

Just then, Inuyasha's eyes opened again, and Shippou forgot to breathe. The pain was etched clearly into his golden irises, yet beyond that was a determination, a certainty unlike anything the little one had ever seen. As though he could move the world with his mind alone. Mere moments ago, it was as though he could disappear, drowning in his torment. But the stubborn hanyou would not let go so easily. Just as his youkai blood kept his body alive, his human heart refused to accept this option. He would not die, his heart would not give in, not until the world knew that he loved Kagome beyond the very fabric of time, beyond death, beyond life.

Sango took in a shaking breath, trying ardently to control her own body. Her head throbbed with the force she put into holding back tears. Inuyasha's voice had a power all its own. When she clutched tighter to her husband, she could feel the same shock electrocuting his muscles as well.

"I won't let a bunch of pathetic humans push me around like a weakling! You think you can control me? I don't answer to the likes of you! My whole life I've heard nothing but the screams of your kind, the beatings, the jeers! 'HANYOU!' 'MONSTER!' 'TAINTED BEAST!' And like a fool, I've let you all convince me that it was true! Well I'm done lying down and taking it! I won't take it anymore! I don't care what all you humans call me or what you think of me! As long as I have Kagome, the rest of the fucking human race can burn in hell! I LOVE KAGOME, do you hear? And I won't let you take that away from me! I won't!"

There was… an odd surge in him at that moment. Electrocuting and terrifying to behold. A hanyou that had been just a boy until this moment. A hanyou who for the first time could sense the miracle that was his life. The world was nothing without his eyes to see its beauty behind its destruction. Fate had conspired to destroy him from the moment he was conceived, throwing everything hateful his way, and Inuyasha was still standing. Not merely standing, but existing. Bloodied, irate, abused… He had a place in this world. The realization seized him, that he had a body that took up space, hands that did his will, muscles that conquered, memories that belonged only to him. And for the first time in his life, there was absolutely nothing within him that sought to hide the meaning of his rapidly beating heart.

No being on earth, not even fate, could destroy what he had. He had made it this far, and all he needed was heart. Kagome was his heart. There was no way in hell that he was going to let her be wrenched away from him. Even if he had to die trying, the last thing, the only thing he wanted… was for her to hear him say it, in a few simple words that held his life intact.

For the first time in his life, he trusted himself.

To be continued…


	23. Ch 23: A Matter of Fate

**Please do not skip a single thing in this chapter! I want you to read every word! Don't kill me!**

Chapter 23: A Matter of Fate

He swam in the shades. It was his meditation. It was his most prized strength. No one could deny the tense shadows of trees and rocks and mountains. A fearsome black intensifying. Far from comforting, the wilderness didn't know what to make of their fear of him, who was just as dangerous as he was careless. If there was anything more terrible than the wicked and cunning, it was the wicked and the ignorant. He had no earthly idea the extent to which he threatened the order of the world.

'I can feel her… that Inuyasha's Kagome…'

The ache was still there, along with the frustration, and he despised it. For the longest time, he had fought the urge to tear into his own body to pull away the contemptible thing held him back. For hours, he had tried searching for the other miko, that dead one, but he had underestimated her. Somehow she had found a way to hide herself from the shadows, or had used some kind of enchantment to hide. Eventually, he had given up and turned to something far more important. Long overdue, he finally realized what his weakness was, and unlike Inuyasha, he would be damned if he let such a feeling hinder him. If Inuyasha's darkest side still loved the miko, then Kokuei would relieve that burden from his own body.

He hated it, knowing that a part of him was hesitating when the rest of him was surging. The primitive rage had not been dimmed by this new discovery, but rather his anger was being poked at with something like an annoying insect buried inside his flesh. If nothing else, to prove that no hanyou's pathetic emotions could dominate his better self, the miko would fall under his claws. The prophecy was building… He could feel it. Slowly, it was becoming a reality. It had already begun to take effect. The time was drawing nearer. If Kokuei could feel this way, if what he heard had been true, then there was absolutely no time to waste.

Though he would have preferred a different way, what actually caused him to stop in his search was the annoying jab that he hated. Kagome was crying. Even if his body felt confused by the contrast, the better part of him smiled triumphantly. Her pain was thick.

'She is practically alone. Just with that neko,' His smile grew, 'The Shikon no Tama is with her still.'

His mind watched her sorrow, and the troublesome ache was soon gone, dominated by the hunger for her death. Inadvertently, he licked his lips.

This should be fun…

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Winter… A flea is not meant to live like this! Oh, how cruel is my master Inuyasha-sama!"

Myoga's tiny feet were practically frozen, and being so very small and not well spread out, he sank into the freezing, soaking snow. Every goal was the next tree, where there was something sturdier than frozen water to land upon. Having reached the latest trunk, he sat shivering against the bare bark, with a red piece of cloth wrapped all around him.

"Will I ever make it to the village? Am I doomed to freeze out here?" Myouga lamented, "My senshu-sama, may you rest in peace, I curse the day I came to know you! As I am bound to you, I am now bound to that reckless son of yours! But there is a limit to how far I can go to help that insolent boy!"

In his mind, he could imagine the Inu no Taisho smirking at this, and telling the flea that a coward like him was hardly bound to anything, and especially not with the dead.

"Curses be on this family! Your son is out to destroy me!"

To which his master would smirk again, for he could never take Myouga's whining to heart. Myoga's eyes narrowed, "You be grateful, senshu-sama, that I am an honorable youkai. If I were not, your son would be completely clueless. Even with my help, he is persistently getting himself into trouble. I had hoped that your recklessness had not been passed on to your son, but I have been met with an unlucky fate. The troubles for Inuyasha-sama never stop. And now with a human of his own, he is even more prone to accidents. Not that Izayoi-sama was in any way a misfortune to you. I know full well, senshu-sama, that she had more sense than anyone of her race. The same can be said for Kagome-sama. Much like your story, I believe Inuyasha-sama has been much improved by her presence. Nevertheless, Inuyasha is too devoted to her to know when to stop looking for danger!"

He imagined the dead youkai telling him that love does such a thing, saying that he had no regrets of dying that fateful day when his mate and son had needed him most. Myouga paused, and then closed his eyes. "Yes, yes, well I won't curse him for that. Kagome-sama is a woman worth fighting for. But I wonder if I'll live to see the day when Inuyasha settles down at last. Only two women in the world could have that kind of patience. You're very lucky to have had a bride with the patience of a saint. It would be a shame for your son to abuse his luck as well… Oh, but I am tired, senshu-sama. Who knows if I may see such a day?"

Myouga suddenly stopped and sniffed the air. "Already it has begun. I swear to you, senshu-sama, already I can smell the miko's frustration in the form of tears."

After a few more moments of rubbing his head, he suddenly got to his feet. "Really, senshu-sama! But why would Kagome-sama be all the way out here?... Yes, I suppose she would come looking for your runaway son. Forgive me, but if she _is _near, I believe that in spite of Inuyasha-sama's wishes, I must inform her of his intentions. After all, the poor child must feel so alone. Alone… and so full of blood… Yes, I'd say a visit is in order."

Quickly wrapping the cloth tighter around him, the flea-youkai bounced once again into the wilderness, trying to keep off the freezing ground as much as possible. He headed in the direction of Kagome's scent. If nothing else, at least he could find a meal.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

'Mama… I want to see you again. This is no place for me,' Kagome thought.

The winter breeze brushed against her tear-stained cheeks, and Kagome shivered again. It was enough that she was on the run from Inuyasha. She also forgot her sweater.

How long had it been since she had last seen her family? Did she remember to tell them before she left that she loved them? Of course, they must have known this, but she sure owed them the words. What did they assume when she did not come back? The only thing worth discussing with her family was her adventures with youkai and Naraku. To them, there was nothing but fighting in the Feudal Era. Wouldn't they then assume that she had been killed?

Worse still was realizing that they, and such feelings of absence, would not exist for another 500 years. So different from just going on a trip somewhere. Here in the past, her family did not exist. There was no one out there missing her yet. Any feelings they might have would be far away in time.

She had stayed here, abandoned her family for one reason: Inuyasha. Because she believed that she couldn't live without him, and that by some miracle, he might want her too. It was a chance she had to take. She owed it to her heart. Her mind fell back to that day a few months before, as she came across the well shrouded in autumn. She recalled the anger she felt for the man who had betrayed her so, a longing to see her family once again, a choking fear that this world would be lost to her forever if she did. She hated him. But she remembered, Kikyo once told her that there was no human emotion more powerful than hate. That day, when Kagome stared at the well with a clear future ahead of her and a clouded future behind her, she had proved Kikyo wrong. Kagome hated Inuyasha for what he did, and yet, in spite of all he had done, she loved him… she wanted to be with him. Whether her future was sure or not, she had to have him in it.

If Inuyasha was now lost to her, what would become of her? She would have to adapt to this world, as she had decided long ago, but this time without that which had kept her here in the first place. She would have to form her own life out of nothing. With no family ties, no family history, no wealth, no power, what chance was there that she could find a suitable husband? Who would want to marry a peasant girl who had no idea how to function in the world? In whatever time she might manage to build a name for herself, she would be well past the marriageable age.

'Oh God… I have doomed myself to be a maid forever.' She squeezed her eyes tightly.

Kirara, who had been purring comfortingly in Kagome's lap, suddenly tensed. The soft fur on her back stood on end and trembled slightly as a small growl began to escalate. The miko gasped as the neko-youkai leapt from her arms and to the ground in front of her, in the same time, transforming mid-air to her monstrous form. She let out a roar loud enough to break glass.

"Kirara… What is it?" Kagome asked nervously.

Instinctively, she reached for her bow and arrows. Thank God she had brought them with her. But looking at her weapon, she realized with a slap in the face that it could be Inuyasha, come back to kill her. If so, then she wouldn't possibly be able to shoot him. The event in Naraku's castle had proven that. Kagome got to her feet and clutched the bow to her chest. Her heart was on fire, not with happiness nor sadness, but with terrible fear. She found herself wondering how Inuyasha had come after her when the others stayed back to stop him. Her heart sank as she thought the unthinkable… had he killed them?

Kirara's growling persisted, but nothing moved. For a few moments it seemed like Kirara was mistaken, until a soft voice tore through, "As if I could be held back by a lowly cat."

Kagome gasped and took a step back. Kirara's growling escalated, as though she had heard the insult. Slowly, much to the pain of Kagome's heart, Kokuei, who to her eyes was Inuyasha, emerged in the shade of a distant tree. So black, it was like he was one with night.

Kokuei smirked triumphantly at the fear in Kagome's eyes. It only fed his demonic desires. Ripping her to pieces would be the highlight of his life.

"Wench… You're an even bigger idiot to run away from the safety of your friends."

As Kokuei's form became clear, Kagome's breath suddenly caught in her throat. 'His hands… they're soaked in blood!'

Thoughts of her friends' dead bodies electrocuted her mind. Sango… Miroku… Shippou… 2 humans and a child youkai against a powerful, full-grown hanyou. How could they have had a chance?

She didn't want to believe it. It had to have been her imagination. But her eyes remained locked on his soiled claws. Kokuei noticed this. He didn't know why the sight of Kagura's blood on his fingers appalled her, but then again, she didn't know it was Kagura's blood. Not knowing what had her looking so unusually sickened, he decided to keep quiet on the subject for the time being. With any luck, whatever it was would work to his advantage.

Kagome, sick with worry for her friends, satisfied that curiosity. "What did you do to my friends?"

"Your friends?"

"Sango-chan, Shippou-chan, Miroku-sama…"

'Intriguing,' Kokuei thought, 'She thinks I have killed her companions? Well, they aren't around. Why not?'

"As if those weaklings would be any threat to me."

To emphasize his point, he flexed his claws. He smirked again as Kagome's eyes filled with tears and her teeth clenched tight, obviously trying not break down. She screamed at him, "You monster! How… how could you do this, Inuyasha? They were your friends too!"

"They were a nuisance. Just as you are. If you thought I would stop after killing them, think again. You still bear the Shikon no Tama, and I will have it… after I slice open your neck."

Kirara had reached the breaking point. Charging out at full speed, any other youkai might have flinched. Kokuei, however, was well prepared for it. He had seen it brooding in the neko-youkai's eyes. Before Kirara could alter her course, Kokuei produced Chisaiga, the spitting image of Tetsusaiga, and flung it forward to meet her shoulder. Rather than the normal squishing sound the sword would make when it met with flesh, the blade quickly tore through her thin layer of skin and onto her shoulder bone, which cracked beneath the blow.

Kirara cried out agonizingly as Kagome screamed loudly. Moments later, she was flung by the force of the sword as it tore down her forelimb. With incredible force, Kirara was thrown back and into a nearby tree, afterwards falling to the ground in a heap. Her body shrunk back into its small form.

"Kirara!" Kagome called out.

Suddenly blinded by the need to see if her friend was okay, she darted across the clearing and towards where Kirara had landed. Dropping to her knees beside the neko, she gently turned her shoulder. Happily, she could see that Kirara was still breathing, heavily. The wound was deep, but not fatal.

Kagome didn't have time to savor Kirara's luck. She cried out as she was yanked backwards by the hair and across the dirt. Half sure that her scalp was going to be pulled off, she tried to stand. Kokuei stopped her by backhanding her clear across the cheek, sending her to the ground again. The coppery taste of her own blood tainted her tongue.

Seconds later, she found herself pressed up against a tree, her arms locked behind her back. She wheezed as a demanding hand gripped her by the throat and lifted her inches off the ground. The nails dug into her skin, and she could feel the blood oozing from the tiny wounds and onto his fingers. Desperate for air, she tried to free her arms from behind her back so that she could push him off. It was useless. She could only stare in sad irony at the face of the hanyou she had fallen in love with, smirking as he choked her, triumph in his amber eyes.

"There is no use left for you in this world. You'd be better off dead. Who would want you, Kagome? Everyone you know is dead. Your family is lost to you. You know nothing about this world. You can't even defend yourself."

'I have to purify him. It's the only way I can get away,' she thought pitifully.

Kokuei saw how she tried to move her arms, how her palms glowed a soft purple. He laughed, "You're not even a real miko! Any power you have is no comparison to my strength. Like I said, you are weak. No one wants you. Not even your hanyou wants you anymore."

'……… My hanyou…?'

Kokuei's hold tightened even more around her neck. Her vision was already beginning to blur. Try as she might, she could not free her arms. She couldn't even move them anymore. Her kicking feet eventually stilled. The bow that she brought from the village slipped from her tired fingers and landed unceremoniously on the tree's roots. It felt as though the air around her was made of lead. Everything was so thick. The air, her tears, the stilling blood in her veins. She vaguely realized that the claws of his other hand were pressing into her necks as well. He was preparing to rip out her voice box. Not that it mattered. She couldn't scream when she couldn't breathe.

Kokuei felt his head spinning, both with joy at his victory and in pain at the unwelcome aching. He pushed the latter aside as much as he could. Already, Kagome's blood was coating his nails. So very thick. "My regards to the others in the afterlife. This is your end."

The throbbing of her head, the writhing of her lungs, the feel of the frozen air suddenly came to a halt. There was only one sound that filled her ears, enforcing silence upon nature itself, eclipsing her fear: the unnaturally slow beat of her heart. Barely moving somewhere inside her body, helpless and broken, weakening with its every hollowed moan. She could feel it falling. With that, the forest was gone from her. She only saw Inuyasha's eyes, and as though the fates had granted her the tiniest portion of mercy, she did not see these hateful eyes before her. Whether it be wishful thinking, stupidity, or just plain madness, her memory produced for her eyes of tender love, of innocent obsession, of devotion beyond the reaches of mankind. Her time in this world was painted in those eyes, more beautiful than she could describe. For a time, she knew the only thing that mattered was that she loved him, and that she would die for him, and there was no one else she would rather die next to than Inuyasha. The tender eyes that she forced herself to recall would be carried with her to her grave. Even in the afterlife, it was that thought that would define who she was, what she had been.

Her voice was drenched in tears as voices filled her mind, voices that she knew well, voices that the beautiful hanyou eyes demanded of her.

"_I thought I was gonna lose you, that you were gonna die."_

"_You… cried for me."_

"_Happy Birthday…"_

"_Tell me it's okay now."_

"_You're… beautiful…"_

"_What do you want from me?"_

"_All I have EVER wanted was to make… you… happy."_

"_Kagome, what do you wish?"_

"_I WISH FOR YOU, INUYASHA!"_

……"_Kagome, what do you wish?"_

'I wish…' her thought was in a whisper, as though her very mind could not voice them completely.

Her eyes slowly began to close.

'…… I still do… Inuyasha…'

'…………… _Inuyasha_...'

Now, what happened next was never meant to happen. Many would repel the idea that what should have been was so mockingly thrown aside. If the very order of the world shifted due to this change, can you blame them for their distress?

What can such people expect from a world so unpredictable? Where there is happiness, there is pain, and where there is pain, there is death. The statement that the good always triumph hasn't had a fraction of truth for a very long time. For those dying, whether by wound or by old age, there is no honor left in death. Everyone lives to assume that their life will be more precious than any other. Their goodness, in their minds, will mark their fate. And yet they do not consider that death does not play favorites. Many forget that often the good die while the evil are left to thrive. In the grave, we are all equal, just as we are all doomed. Nothing can save us from the inevitable.

Death, which is as much a part of life as every waking day, cannot be taken away. For better or for worse, whether it breaks hearts or seems unfair, all are bound to this law.

It was foolish to think that Kagome could not die, just because she was good.

Her fate is sad and so unexpected, yet it has been written in the stars from the very beginning. She was always meant to die, not as a martyr, but as natural pattern of the world. Nature knew that the day would come someday.

This world of ours is trapped within the mind, as some would say. If fate meant to change the world, it would have been a much better place, and it would have been with just a change of heart. It would be easy for destiny to be so flexible.

They say… there is nothing more powerful than fate… and they were right.

And then… something odd settled over time, in the form of whispers. A story of a hanyou and a miko from centuries away. It slowly weaved into this thing called fate. Fate, for one reason or another, had let it. A prediction was on the rise in the stars. Who knew whether is was true or false. It then came to pass that the prophecy was born in place of fate, and fate did not resist. There was no longer a question of why we died or who was worthy of it. And it most certainly wasn't a matter of luck.

When fate lies in its own arms, fate can be molded.

Fate, it seemed, had been replaced.

Sorry…… Fate didn't want to tell you.

"AAAAAAAGGHHH!"

The piercing scream rattled her entire body. It was painful to hear, to feel. Along the way, her knees met with the ground, followed by her arms, then her head. Cold earth…

Air filled her body like a flood of water, and she drank from it without even realizing it was there. Her lungs shook with the sudden stimulation, struggling with all their might to catch what they could, though so weakened by her ordeal they were close to shattering. She found her eyes open, her cheek against the snow. She was staring at the ground.

A bare foot stepped in her field of vision.

'…… Red… hakama…'

A growl.

'… Haori…… White hair…'

A ray of light was caught.

'…… Tetsusaiga……'

His back was turned towards her.

"Temee…"

He stared off to the figure some feet away, just beginning to stand.

Kagome's eyes took in the scene before her, and well, what can you say, when you see two Inuyashas staring each other down?

To be continued…

**YEEEEEAAAAAA! It's too good! I had so much fun writing this one! I really should be studying right now, but I'll be doing that right away! Oh, I really had you going, didn't I? I really thought Kagome was gonna die, didn't ya? WHAT FUN! Yeah, so, I purposefully skipped the part where Inuyasha leaves the others for dramatic purposes. But rest assured, I'll be explaining that whole thing next chapter. I really hope you enjoyed this one! Please PLEASE tell me what you think!**

**BTW, _senshu_ means "master".**


	24. Ch 24: A Day's Trust

Chapter 24: A Day's Trust

Inuyasha had felt his own body freezing over. Before, there had been only instinct, a savage feeling that brought out something unnaturally animalistic in him. His hands ached as a sudden dolt filled his heart. Kagome's desperate heaves for breath still echoed in his ears. There had been nothing for him to think about as he came across her dangling in the air, held up, choked violently by a vicious claw. Even if he immediately recognized it by some cruel miracle… to be his own. His vision had blurred then, and for a split second, the image of Kagome's face with her eyes rolling back into her head was the only thing he could see. As though his life was defined by this moment, defined by her life, his very throat trembled as a thickened scream bellowed forth, as his body forced itself forward and towards her defense. Thank God he had run from the others, even if it felt cowardly to do so.

A second later, the sounds of Kagome's full gasps brought his consciousness back, in front of the still-present fury that his eyes had been fooling him. Despite the relief that her panting brought to him, not even that could slake the anger, for his eyes still now were lying to him. Beyond not being able to understand, way past the confusion, for there was barely any room now for such a thing, he found that he was furious with himself for not being able to see the truth.

When he spoke, no matter how threatening it sounded, something inside him had a sneaking suspicion that this particular statement was meant for himself, "Temee…"

The figure lying on the ground suddenly turned his eyes upwards, and Inuyasha found himself glaring into his mirror image, feature for feature. His blood froze to ice, as though in reaction to the coldness that permeated those golden eyes. Had Inuyasha ever possessed such eyes, so full of hatred and cruelty?

In the back of his mind, he heard Kagome's startled gasp. His unquenchable need to go to her fell victim to whatever madness hindered him. The figure had made it to his feet. Even more powerful than the eyes was the decomposed sound of his ragged breaths, so foreign to Inuyasha's ears, yet it held the same tune he was familiar with. The lips parted to reveal white, persistent fangs that Inuyasha felt in his own mouth, and he couldn't doubt that the teeth he stared at were identical to the ones he now used to growl. Why did the eyes, breaths, and teeth of this person feel like a threat to him in and of itself? Did they defy him, as though they held promises of his dark past? Did they prove that Inuyasha really was a monster? Did fate send this thing to mock him with his own form, horrid and painfully subtle?

Inuyasha wanted to scream at anything, everything, as the enemy's obvious disappointment changed, making his face colder, as the mouth twisted into a smirk.

The voice practically brought Inuyasha to ruin. "How could I have forgotten the delicious prospect of your blood on my hands as well…?"

Inuyasha's light hiss encouraged his apparent amusement to grow. "You don't make this easy for me, Inuyasha. To think, I was so close to ridding the world of your wretched bitch. As much as I enjoyed playing with her heart, you could have at least waited until I put her out of her misery."

That put Inuyasha over. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?" He screamed.

He never flinched. "You don't recognize me, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha didn't answer.

"I am you."

Inuyasha wheezed darkly and quietly, "You're not…"

He wiped his cheek with his sleeve and smirked again, "Hesitating, are you? Perhaps you can't bear the idea that I am what you lost, and am far more than you could ever be."

"What I lost…? More than…?"

"Kokuei," he answered, "is how you'll call me, at least until I kill you…"

As he cracked his knuckles just beneath his chin, he finished his statement with a dark undercurrent in his breath, "…and your bitch."

Though whatever intelligence Inuyasha thought he still had was screaming at him to wait, he quickly found his body leaping forward, his lips issuing a chilling growl, his claws extending and cracking as they tensed. Kokuei was ready for him. He came back to him with the same fervor. When Inuyasha knocked into him, Kokuei didn't even flinch. He let himself fall to the ground under Inuyasha's weight before he began to slash. Reacting to Kokuei's assault, Inuyasha pushed himself up enough to evade danger, but came back again with a closed fist to punch Kokuei's jaw. It didn't cause Kokuei to falter for a second when the blow was delivered. Inuyasha cried out as his tender wounds were opened again.

Inuyasha and Kokuei wrestled back and forth, each leaving behind them splatters of fresh blood in the dust. Kagome could do nothing, only watch between the fingers she had pressed over her face as two identical figures of a man she loved so much went back and forth. Was it so ridiculous for her to believe that she had lost her mind? The inevitable thought hit her, that her agony at having been betrayed by Inuyasha had caused her to see him in everything and everyone. But even this thought would not settle in her mind, no matter how much she wanted closure. They looked the same, sounded the same, fought the same. Like wild animals, their thrusts were clearly inhuman, terrifying to behold. In that moment, it never occurred to her that one of them was her true Inuyasha. There was only blood, growls, sounds of tearing flesh.

The girl, having not a clue what to do or even what to think, burst out into loud and open sobs. Like a little lost child, she wailed with a bleeding heart. Clutching her arms tightly into her chest, she didn't even bother to hide her tears, and the scent of her distress hit Inuyasha hard. The raw droplets drenching her cheeks caused the hanyou to start for just a moment. Never had he guessed that this would be his first sight of her after so many days apart. Though he had expected that he would experience her rage, and hoped that he would experience her happiness, he was wholly unprepared for her sorrow. She seemed so broken to him, so warred away, as though the few weeks had been a lifetime. The realization of that tore at his insides, for he too felt that an eternity had come and gone. And she looked exactly like he felt. What had happened to her since he had left?

His thoughts were interrupted as a sudden light blinded him, accompanied by a familiar scrape of metal against metal. Before his eyes, Inuyasha saw Tetsusaiga transform in the hands of this imposter to its monstrous form. Frightened, Inuyasha grabbed his sheath, only to realize that his Tetsusaiga was still nestled at his side.

'Another Tetsusaiga…?' Inuyasha confusedly mused.

Kokuei had been standing only a few feet away from him, and as he swung the sword, Inuyasha only just had enough time to draw his own sword and block the attack. A loud clang echoed in the air, and Inuyasha flinched at the sound. Kokuei only smirked as he pressed his sword into the Tetsusaiga.

"You look surprised, hanyou," he gleamed, "Did you think I was just some shell of you, easy to break through? Did you think your Tetsusaiga was the only sword with such power?"

Inuyasha growled deeper.

"Hahaha… It is _you_ who is the empty shell. I have looking forward to this for a long time…"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME?" Inuyasha bellowed.

"I want you to die, Inuyasha."

"Why? Who are you? What are you? Why the fuck do you look like me?"

"Because I _am_ you. Your mind is just too small to comprehend it."

"SHUT UP! I want answers NOW!"

Their strength was equally matched. Though they tried to force each other away, their swords never moved and nor did their bodies. But as Inuyasha grew more and more furious, Kokuei was forced to respond to more and more pressure. It was apparent that he would after show Inuyasha very soon just what set them apart.

"I am you, Inuyasha. Your darkest desires, your violent instincts, the power that you were never willing to take. I've remained in your weak body for all these years, watching as you pushed me away… as you fell victim to the idiocies of the human race… and to that silly girl…"

Inuyasha's face fell in confusion.

"… The day I was born was the day I took my rightful freedom. I'm tired of living as your shadow. I'm taking control, and you, nor anyone else, can stop me."

Inuyasha, perplexed by Kokuei's statement, slackened his hold just enough for Kokuei to push him aside. Less than a second later, the power of the Kazu no Kizu exploded from his sword, dancing and pulsing against the ground, causing the forest to suddenly erupt in fire, light, and strength. Inuyasha screamed as new wounds were formed on his arms, splattering blood all over his haori. He came towards Kokuei with his sword raised, and the battle resumed once again…

'I don't understand… I don't understand anything,' her mind boomed.

Kagome's fingers gripped the soft mulch beneath her as Kazu no Kizu sent the trees into a swirl. She barely felt the harshness of the falling leaves on her face. Her cheeks were brown with dust and red with the force of her tears, and a few leaves tangled in her hair and covered her shoulders. Her cries continued, never faltering. As she cried, she tried without avail to force away the memory of strong, yet gentle arms around her. Like a sweet poison, her body melting into him, as though they were one and the same, as though their bond transcended the laws of nature. She couldn't help but imagine his loving touch as his fingers whispered across her cheeks, drying her tears. Realizing the entire time that it was all an illusion, all a lie, kept her hysterical. Why couldn't her body except that he was lost to her forever? Didn't he try to kill her? Didn't he kill their friends? Why were her eyes seeking to torment her with false visions of him? Why did they try to excuse his betrayal by forcing him back into her life? Was she doomed to be a crazy lunatic for the rest of her days?

"Kagome-sama!"

She didn't answer. She barely even heard the call, but moments later, a startled gasp issued from somewhere on her shoulder. Her eyes glanced over and saw the flea-youkai Myouga standing on her shoulder, gaping at the scene before them.

"What enchantment is this?" Myouga all but bellowed.

"Myouga-jichan…" Kagome started, but her voice caught in her throat as more sobs forced themselves out of her lungs.

"Kagome-sama! What is the meaning of this?"

Kagome softly shook her head, and Myouga had to dodge a large teardrop. "I don't know… I don't know…"

"Do you know… which one is the real one?"

"What?"

"Which one is the real Inuyasha?"

Kagome looked back towards Myouga again.

"Ah!" Myouga yelled out as an energy blast missed them by about half a foot.

Inuyasha lunged again for Kokuei, infuriated that Kagome could have been hurt by the blow.

Kagome hurriedly scrambled to her feet and moved some feet away from the battle. She then took the flea into her palm and looked at him with wide-eyes. "The real Inuyasha?"

"Oh dear… Perhaps I have gone mad," he lamented, "Forgive me, Kagome-sama, but I would swear by my own family that I see two Inuyashas battling before us."

Kagome felt her heart stop. 'What…'

"You see it too, Myouga-jichan?" She asked, almost frantically, realizing afterwards that she sounded like a lunatic.

"So I am _not_ the only one seeing this?" Myouga replied.

Kagome looked up again towards the battle, towards the two figures that looked exactly the same in everyway. Hell, they were the same person. No way could there ever be two of them. Her mind had simply been playing tricks on her, due to her boundless heartache, or so she thought. What other explanation had there been except that she had been losing her sanity?

'Myouga… sees the same thing that I see…?' she pondered.

"Oh, Inuyasha-sama!" Myouga cried out suddenly, "I knew that this journey of yours was a bad idea. You have fallen victim to some sorcerer. I knew all along that this would backfire. Nothing good could ever come from going back to that wretched Naraku's palace."

"Myouga-jichan… You knew he was going to Naraku's castle?"

"I was with him on his journey for a day, before I escaped from him. Believe me, I tried to stop him, but he was just so determined to fix what he had done wrong that I don't think the very gods could have hindered him."

"'Fix what he had done wrong'?" Kagome asked, then stopping to wipe a stray tear, "What does…"

"This is the reason I came to see you in the first place. Kagome-sama, you didn't know it, but Inuyasha-sama left to get the Shikon jewel because it was due to his carelessness that you are now stuck in the Feudal Era, so far from your home. It was his plan that he could use the Shikon no Tama to reunite you with your family, and in doing so, right his mistake… Though by the looks of it, it appears he has found someone else along the way."

Insanity folded into confusion; confusion folded into wonder; wonder folded back into insanity. When Kagome looked back on the past three years, all she could feel was broken trust. So many days and nights when she thought that what she had with Inuyasha was real and pure. Every dream, every good memory had been shattered in the matter of minutes. When Inuyasha had tried to kill her, her whole world had fallen apart. The destruction led to sadness, anger, confusion, and most of all, distrust… not only in Inuyasha, but in herself as well. How many times in the past day had she felt hated for herself for trusting him? How many times did she call herself the biggest idiot to ever live? How many times did she stare over the horizon, bare of the city of lights she grew up in, and realize that she never belonged in such a world?

No, she couldn't forget the past three years that she had thought she was destined to have. But nor could she forget the ever-present ache in her heart, in her very blood. Love might have been more powerful than hate, but trust… that was not very powerful at all, not if it could be shaken so drastically in a day's time. She had thought she trusted Inuyasha, and she had thought that trust had been unshakable. Yesterday had brought that trust to ruins.

One might be able to destroy all trust in minutes, but could Kagome really rebuild it in the same amount of time? Could she disregard all the tears she had cried in the past twenty-four hours? To suddenly turn around, and say that she believed everything she used to, was just like saying that she could turn around and believe everything she did as a child. Experience proved to her that idealistic beliefs of childhood were false, just as yesterday proved that her idealistic beliefs in her hanyou were false.

"I… I don't know if I can believe that…"

"I don't know who Inuyasha has stumbled upon, but there is definitely dark magic at play. From those two Inuyasha-samas, I can only detect one scent, and my nose has never led me wrong."

'One scent?'

Kagome shook her head lightly, "But… that doesn't make any sense. You make it seem like someone's impersonating Inuyasha."

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time, would it?"

A vision of Kikyo flashed through Kagome's mind. She quickly pushed it aside. "That was Naraku, Myouga-jichan. And he's dead. I'm positive he is dead."

"As am I, but perhaps he was not the only one to have such a power," Myouga narrows his eyes curiously, "What is the matter, Kagome? Why are you so uncertain about my master Inuyasha-sama?"

She flinched under his gaze, no matter how small he was. Myouga noticed. "Has something happened?"

She did not answer. She couldn't even if she tried. There was no strength left for her to use. How could she argue something she didn't even understand herself?

One scent, two people… looking, sounding, fighting alike. A hanyou who had loved her, cherished her for three years; who had tried to kill her in a day. A hanyou who had suddenly turned on her with hateful eyes instead of the ones she fell in love with. There had never been a day in her life that she had seen him look at her that way, not even the day they first met. It was a look so unnatural, so unbecoming of him… it was like it wasn't Inuyasha at all.

Not a day had gone by when she didn't know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would follow him wherever he might go, to the ends of the earth if she must. Even the other day, after all this had happened, the idea of spending the rest of her life without him caused her soul to crumble. Yes, she had to run from him, for her life. But what worth was her life when he was gone? His absence was a scar that could never heal. She might have been a weak human, but it was having Inuyasha that had kept her body and spirit strong. As though he alone held sway over her life, she felt as though she was like him so many times, healing rather quickly. No matter how many times she cried for him and because of him, her sorrow never lasted long, because his courage, his heart, his strength kept her by his side. All the ignorant villagers might have assumed that she was forced to be with him, but they didn't understand. They didn't see the way Inuyasha looked at her, the way he fought for her, the way he moved her to do things beyond the capabilities of the human race. She was no priestess. She was not powerful. But no… because of Inuyasha, she was powerful, because she loved him so.

She still loved him.

And by God, she still believed in him, her hanyou.

'My hanyou…'

She suddenly gasped and her eyes widened. 'My hanyou!'

"_No one wants you. Not even your hanyou wants you anymore."_

"My hanyou…" she whispered to herself.

"What was that?" Myouga asked.

Suddenly, Myouga felt himself being flung from Kagome's shoulder as the miko quickly stood. With a loud scream made small by his size, he disappeared into the leaves on the ground. Kagome, not having any recollection that Myouga was there in the first place, flattened the flea-youkai under her foot as she suddenly sprang out towards the clearing once again.

Out of the corner of his eye, Inuyasha saw Kagome running forward, and stopped. "Kagome!"

His distraction worked to Kokuei's advantage. With a sickening sound, Kokuei embedded Chisaiga into Inuyasha's side. The hanyou let out a pained yelp.

Kokuei laughed quietly, "Hehehe… Haven't you learned anything from me? Always keep your eyes on me, hanyou, for I will not make this easy for you at all."

Inuyasha grunted hard, the sword still embedded in his stomach. The blade was thick, just like his Tetsusaiga. Despite the pain, Kagome's scent kept his body upright, and he ground out in a hiss. "If you think for one second about laying a hand on Kagome again, I tear your insides into ribbons."

"Ha. You're not really in a position to be making threats… are you?"

Inuyasha cried out again as Kokuei gently twisted Chisaiga, pulling the wound wider. Fresh blood poured out.

"It don't matter. You still haven't beaten me. If you are a part of me, like you say you are, then you can't possible beat me. What do you have that I don't have?"

"Glad you asked. Care to see the ultimate power of Chisaiga?"

Like a sickening crackle, Inuyasha's wound suddenly erupted into agonizing pain. It was a feeling akin to boiling water, thick like stew, hot and violent, searing. For the first time, Inuyasha became fully conscience of every cell in his stomach, as they began to sizzle, and slowly dry.

'This… this is...?'

Chisaiga began to glow. Reminiscent of the Red Barrier Tetsusaiga, the sword shined in an almost triumph fashion, bright red and thick in color. So thick, the color itself seemed to have a texture.

And then he saw it. It was unmistakable. A flow, almost invisible to the eye but definitely there. A wave of red, soft as the wind, pulling itself into the sword itself.

'It's… sucking in my blood,' Inuyasha realized.

As Kokuei suddenly began to retract the sword from Inuyasha's size, the rate of flow quickened. Inuyasha's cry of pain caught in his throat, only releasing a whimper-like gasp. Though he kept his glare firm, the excruciating pain was clear in his eyes. Kokuei's smirk grew. Chisaiga was rejoicing in his hands, and it fed him with this joy, with the mortality of the so-thought invisible hanyou. Even as the sword left the wound, its thirst for blood was unquenchable, and it refused to let go of the link. Once Chisaiga managed to weaken Inuyasha enough, Kokuei would take the final blow, and both he and his sword would regale in the hanyou's corpse.

"INUYASHA!"

The loud scream caused both Inuyasha and Kokuei to turn their heads. Inuyasha had to turn his head and torso practically completely around to see her, as his back was towards her.

The determined look in her eyes surprised them both. Any trace of the broken girl they had seen moments before was suddenly gone. Wind billowed around her, lifting her hair up, her skin glowed in the insistent rays of sunlight breaking through the branches, and the sparkle of previous tear-stains illuminated her skin. And as she lifted her bow and docked the arrow, the world seemed to hush around her, as if in waiting. If never before, it was clear now that there was something holy about her. She truly did look like a goddess.

Like an angel of war, she stared hard at both of them. Looks of hate; looks of hurt; looks of love. All personifying the glory of battle. She was the weapon just as she was the prize; she was the beginning just as she was the end; she was the damsel just as she was the warrior.

Her lips parted, and as the thickness of the air was met with the flame of her passion, trust, it seemed, prevailed.

The arrow was released.

"OSUWARI!.!.!.!"

To be continued…

**Hahaha! What fun! I bet you can guess what happens. Well, this chapter wasn't cushioned nearly as much as I would have liked, but believe me, there will be plenty of that coming up. It's just that this chapter was all action-y and anti-happiness and all that jazz… can't really fluff it up with that stuff. It's my curse. **

**Anyways, hope you guys liked it. I was so happy to see that so many people responded to the last chapter. It was really great to hear from you all. It really inspires me to write more often. Please let me know how I am doing and what you think. **

**3 weeks till I leave for Spain! **


	25. Ch 25: Reunion

Chapter 25: Reunion

With Kagome's command, Inuyasha barely even heard her speak. His eyes only caught a glimpse of the arrow rushing straight towards him, aimed for his heart. Knowing that it was Kagome who had shot at him made his heart erupt with pain, as though the arrow had hit him. For a moment, he had thought that the arrow _had _hit him. But then, just as he could envision his death, as the arrow came mere inches from his body, the beads around his neck suddenly began to glow with a bright light, and before he knew it, he was face first in dirt.

"GAAAHHH!"

A loud scream following instantly after the fall shook Inuyasha's ears until they felt shriveled. Under the power of the kotodama rosary, which kept everything from his shoulders down pinned, he could only tilt his head and gaze in astonishment at his opponent, who had been impaled clean through his chest with a miko's arrow.

Kokuei's screams continued, long and loud, as miko energy electrocuted his artificial innards. Unlike Kikyo, whose defensive powers only irritated his body, Kagome's arrow was filled with things he could not understand. As though feeling could be made physical, he felt great passion, great adrenaline, with an unmistakable undertone of survival. The combination of which left his body made of malice and dark intentions boiling over in torment.

Tears flooded Kagome's vision. 'How… how could I have doubted? This youkai… he is not my Inuyasha. He played me for a fool.'

Just then, Kokuei's eyes opened and glared dangerously at Kagome, "BITCH! I'LL RIP YOU APART!"

He came towards her. Kagome, startled that this demon had not disintegrated yet, could only recoil as he approached. The assault was then suddenly cut short as Inuyasha recovered himself, and Kokuei was hurled away from Kagome. The imposter was pushed against the tree, and a pained grunt escaped his lips. Inuyasha didn't hesitate as he grabbed hold of Kagome's arrow and twisted it, much like Kokuei had done with the Chisaiga. And as Inuyasha expected, miko energy fired away at him all the more, trying in earnest to completely purify Kokuei.

When Inuyasha then looked at Kokuei's face, he was surprised to see blood-red eyes and elongated fangs. Though Inuyasha had never seen himself in his demonic state, he knew automatically what these features meant. Perhaps it was the demon endurance fighting against the purification, transforming so that he could save his life, much like Inuyasha had done himself.

Suddenly, the whole world seemed to become black as night, and winds roared around him with a vehement that Inuyasha had never felt before. He started suddenly as his hands fell through Kokuei and hit the bark of the tree. Worried that Kokuei had somehow slipped out of his grasp, Inuyasha hurriedly tried to spot him, but the winds were so strong and the darkness seemed to sting at him. He couldn't see a thing, and his eyes burned if he tried.

Darkness swirled around both him and Kagome, and a darkened, angered voice rang out loudly, "I'LL HUNT YOU BOTH DOWN! YOU'LL NEVER BE RID OF ME, HANYOU!"

Then, as though they had come to the eye of a storm, the tornado of night suddenly was sucked away. Instantly, Inuyasha felt warm sunlight on his face and the calmness of the forest. When he opened his eyes, his eyes immediately scanned the area for signs of his opponent. All that was left in the wake of the battle were thirty-some fallen and badly splintered trees. The clear sky above was now open, and a delicate winter sun was soothing, as though determined to counter whatever magic had whisked Kokuei away.

And then, his eyes fell on _her_ again.

Her arms were still raised to cover her eyes, but as she slowly realized that the storm was gone, she lowered them. Inuyasha sucked in a breath as he saw her, looking at him, really looking at him for the first time since their parting. Those eyes… pressed with stars, twinkling violently as she stared… Tears…

He could not notice the blood on her neck and on her limbs. Since when had she been so beautiful? How had he lived these past few days without her in his sights? His heart, fizzing away inside the emptiness of his chest, suddenly came alive with a new pain, a pleasant and welcome pain. Where the ache of not having her near had left him raw and cold, now the rush of light and fire singed him. He was lost as the heat trapped him, sheltered him in her eyes. There was no feeling like looking upon her after what felt like a lifetime. He would die for her, over and over again, no matter what the pain. He would turn back time, hold her close, and tell her that everything he did was for her sake. The fresh pain he could sense in her bore into him hard. How desperately he wanted to prove to her that his intentions were good, even if he was a complete idiot for leaving her behind. Before she got the chance to yell at him, sit him to the center of the earth, maybe even leave him forever, he had no choice but to beg her to forgive him. If only he could form the words in his mouth… for he was so entranced by her flame…

"Inuyasha!"

But before Inuyasha could stop to think about what to say, Kagome was dashing fast towards him. As a relieved smile lingered on his lips, Inuyasha dropped the Tetsusaiga to the ground and opened his arms wide. Nearly fatal to his heart, he felt like he might melt away as Kagome practically fell into him. Their bodies collided with emphasis, nearly injuring each other as they pressed tightly. His arms immediately enveloped her, squeezing her close as though she was bound to float away, his angel of mercy, who appeared to want him still. How could she still want him after what he had done? Her tears came fast against his chest nearly as soon as he began forcing back the steaming feeling from behind his own eyes. Her sobs rang out loud and hard, muffled only slightly by Inuyasha's haori. Inuyasha flattened his ears and quickly began nuzzling his nose into her hair and neck, more for his sake than for hers.

'She's back… She's here with me…' he thought dizzily.

Her scent found him in the winter's cold, filling him to completion, molding his senses into something more powerful than he could control. Her scent was wild, enduring against his senses, as though it fed his soul with strength to spare, like he was sucking it from her very body and that she willed it so. Flowers and fruit, Inuyasha had remembered. That was the smell that defined his heart. If only she could see what she reduced him to. If only she could see the need that stirred in him as he held her close, the violent need to protect her, cherish her, nurture her, love her until he no longer had the strength to stand. She was his moon and his sun, the sunrise and the sunset. She was his fairy tale come to life, his passion made his very breath. Like the passage of time and space, his body and soul would decay into dust long before he would ever stop loving her. Whether he lived or died, whether he was reborn or was destined to the afterlife forever, she was his whole heart and nothing less. No one else could conduct his feelings, tame the animal inside him, or push his soul to the very limits of the physical realm.

The ardent need to possess everything about her assailed him. He never wanted anything as badly as he wanted to touch her again and again. His fingers soaked up her hair, and the scent bloomed even more. His nose traced the skin of her neck and shoulder as he reveled in it. And as though it was so natural to him, he pressed his lips down softly, merely a whisper over her flesh. His lips trembled, so afraid he was that this was all a cruel illusion. How many times had he envisioned her before him in the furrow of his loneliness? How many times had he heard a sound in the distant trees, and felt the brutal false hope that it was her, waiting for him? How many times had he come to realize that he was so far away from her? Nothing could bring them any closer now. He needed to feel her, kiss her, hold her. She was his very breath, without which he would surely die. She was the solution to all hunger, all thirst, all pain, all sorrow. His every instinct bound him to her, and he had to wonder how long he could suffer under her control before he'd crack. Softly, he placed a few feather-light kisses from the crook of her neck to just behind her ear. She clutched him tighter in response and her cries accentuated. Inuyasha forced himself to stop. It seemed that trying to soothe her that way only added to her distress.

She sobbed out, "Inuyasha… Inuyasha…"

At hearing her say his name, a serene smile fell over him, followed by a grimace of pain at realizing that he hadn't heard her voice in so long. "I'm here, Kagome," he sighed deeply, "I'm here."

And then suddenly, Kagome pulled away from him and slapped futilely at his chest, clumsily and callously. It was obvious that it wasn't meant to hurt him, but rather it was a show of frustration. "How could you leave me like that?" She shouted, "Do you have any idea…?"

She lifted her arm to her lips to block her continuing sobs, and her sleeves were soon soaked in salty water. His heart contorted at the sight. "Why would you do such a thing to me? Do you even care about what it felt like to wake up with you gone? I hate you… I hate you so much…"

Inuyasha couldn't take her words to heart. He could tell by her cries that she missed him just as much as he missed her. Without missing a beat, he gently took her into his arms once again and let her grip him tightly. Soft fingers balled the gruff fabric of his haori into her palms. Tears seeped through his white gi and met with his skin underneath. Febrile gushes of her breaths thawed his body. With one hand on the back of her head, he pressed her still deeper into the crook of his neck. The extra large sleeves of his haori fell all around her, shielding her, cradling her.

He couldn't stand it anymore. Neither her tears nor the invisible barrier that still lay between them, held apart by the passage of time. He hadn't tasted her lips in so long. Inuyasha pulled her back, just enough so that he could catch the flicker in her eyes. For about a second, his fingers toyed idly with her hair in back, before he grabbed on tightly once again and compelled her upwards to meet his hungry lips.

Her cry was ragged, hopeless, lost, and desperate. She eagerly met his flame with her own as her agony shattered all around her. She complied to him more than agreeably when his tongue forced its way in to tangle with hers. The desperation she felt was mirrored in his kiss, as he slowly and teasingly drowned her with his spirit. Days gone past without his love had left her unkempt, even in her very soul. As much as she needed him to slow down, she needed him just as much to continue this ardent rush.

Kagome didn't see it, but a sudden moisture, almost invisible to the naked eye, had accumulated upon his eyelids, and in a second, it was gone again. The pain of his wounds and the rapid fire of his heart were eclipsed by her mouth and tongue. All he could feel was the cry of outrage that jabbed his insides, the utter indignation that he had left her behind. Her mouth was warm and welcoming, though as much as she saved him with her attentions, she also killed him. At that moment, he realized there was nothing left for him to do in life but to kiss her, to hold her impossibly close. Everything else was just a build up to this point. There was no meaning to his life without having Kagome in his arms. And with a kiss so deep and so powerful, how could he doubt for a second that he was likely to fall apart immediately afterwards, and die in her arms the happiest man in the world. Despite his strength, he found himself struggling to keep his legs standing and his arms firmly around her, for so easily could she bring him to his knees.

Their lips finally fell away, though they did not know why. Perhaps they were too out of breath for their bodies to listen, or maybe they just needed to look at each other once again. When Kagome gazed into his eyes, she knew immediately that he was sorrier than he had ever been. The haunting gold swirled in invisible tears, folded over and over into itself as though fumbling so not to fall away. He knew that she could see this weakness, and he closed his eyes only to rest them against her forehead. His trembling lips gently kissed the tip of her nose, and she closed her eyes too and leaned into him gently.

'I remember… that demon had said_ your hanyou_, but if he was Inuyasha, he never would have said _your hanyou_ if he was talking about himself. And my hanyou would definitely fall if I shouted the _sit_ command. Oh Inuyasha… I'm such a fool… Why didn't I have more faith in you? I could have lost you forever… How can you hold me like this when I almost destroyed everything?'

Suddenly, Inuyasha's body tensed. At first, Kagome was afraid that he had realized exactly what she was thinking, until he rather protectively pushed her behind him, all the while keeping his hand firmly placed on her waist. A low growl issued from deep inside his chest, a savage threat to whatever it was she couldn't see. Kagome found herself gripping the back of his haori. Was it that demon again?

"Kagome-chan!" A familiar voice called.

Not two seconds later, Sango, Miroku, Kohaku, and Shippou broke through the vast array of broken trees and into their clearing. At seeing them, Inuyasha tensed even more and snarled, "Get the fuck away!"

"Inuyasha! You leave Kagome-chan alone! If you do anything, I swear on my father's grave, your body will be left for the rats! Now let her go!"

"You're NOT taking her away from me, you bastards!" Inuyasha yelled, "If you come anyway near us, I won't hesitate to rip your heads straight off!"

"Sango-chan…" Kagome called out.

"Are you alright, Kagome-chan?" Sango asked, "Did he hurt you?"

"Bitch! As if I would!" Inuyasha snarled.

"I'm fine," Kagome whispered as softly as a mouse.

Obviously, the others weren't convinced by her statement, because Miroku took his stance in front of his wife and glared at the hanyou in the most intimidating way he could. "Don't worry. We won't let Inuyasha kill you, we promise."

"Damnit! Stop saying such stupid things! I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but leave Kagome and me out of your problems! You think I would hurt her? You think I would hurt any part of her? If I had listened to your idiocies for even a moment longer rather than run, I would have lost her forever, and then nothing would have stopped me from tearing all of you apart for delaying me!"

"Inuyasha! You-!"

"No, Sango-chan!" Kagome yelled out suddenly, "Please! I'm alright! I swear it!"

Everyone paused. Kagome went on, "I was wrong, you guys! It wasn't Inuyasha who attacked me before!"

Inuyasha's ears twitched. 'She had been attacked before?'

"… It was a demon, impersonating Inuyasha by taking on his form."

"Nani?" Shippou exclaimed, "But that's impossible. Naraku's dead."

"Not Naraku. Somebody else," said Kagome.

"But I smelt him on your clothes," Shippou said, "I know I did."

Inuyasha intercepted, "That bastard had no scent on him at all that I could detect, which can only mean that he smells exactly like me as well as looks like me."

"And how can we be expected to believe you?" exclaimed Miroku, "You might have made this whole story up to fool Kagome. For all we know, you might have manipulated this whole situation just so you could kill her."

"Hoshi-sama!" A small voice cried out, "How could you say such a thing?"

Before he landed on Sango's shoulder, they knew who it had been. "Myouga…"

"What is all this nonsense about Inuyasha-sama trying to kill Kagome-sama? Last time I checked, they were involved, were they not?" Inuyasha's cheeks reddened at the analysis. "What motive could my master possibly have for killing her?"

"He went to Naraku's castle, without telling any of us anything-."

"Yes, I know. I was there with him."

"You were?"

"Well, I only traveled along with him for a day, by force mind you, before I made my escape."

"Then you must know exactly what his plans were. Inuyasha went to Naraku's castle to track down the remaining jewel shards, and then he lured us there so that Kagome could find them and use her magic to meld it back into a full jewel. Then, he tried to kill her so that he could take the jewel and use it to become a full demon."

Both Inuyasha and Myouga started at this. Myouga exclaimed, "That's preposterous. Inuyasha would do no such thing, and I know for a fact that it isn't true because he told me that he was tracking down the jewel shards so that he could-."

"It's none of their business, Myouga-jiji!" Inuyasha interrupted suddenly, "I don't need to explain to _them _what my reasons are."

Myouga stopped his explanation, a little confused, but turned to the others and nodded encouragingly. "Well, no matter what the reason, I know that what you all are thinking is completely false. That… thing… whatever it was, is behind all this confusion. Inuyasha is completely innocent and that's that."

When the flea-youkai winked at the three humans, they instantly understood his silent meaning… _"I'll tell you later why."_

"It's true, you guys!" Kagome replied, "I'm so sorry for bringing you into this mess. I've been such a fool. I'm really sorry… to all of you."

By the timid sound in her voice, Inuyasha knew that the words were really meant for him. His heart ached.

Sango's eyes were scanning the forest, looking for signs of this Inuyasha imposter. "My God! Then whoever this demon is, he is obviously out to manipulate us. What's worse… how will we tell if this demon is Inuyasha or not?"

"Only if he tries to kill us," Miroku replied, "I suppose."

"Somehow that strategy doesn't really suit me. I'd rather not wait until I'm bleeding to death to decide whether or not I should attack," Sango said caustically.

"I agree, but maybe over time we'll be able to distinguish easily between the two. Anyway, we can't let out guard down. This demon is obviously very cunning. Who knows what he might try to pull," said Miroku.

"Well that just means we'll have to keep a close eye on Inuy-… Inuyasha?"

It was then they realized that Inuyasha and Kagome were already taking their leave. While Sango and Miroku were conversing, Inuyasha had re-sheathed Tetsusaiga, then slipped one arm under Kagome's legs and lifted her up in his arms, cradling her against him. Without a word to the others nor a glance, Inuyasha began walking away deeper into the forest. The others only caught sight of the reunited couple as they disappeared behind the trees.

"Inuyasha…"

"Let them go, Sango." Miroku said as he stared after his friends pitifully, "They've been through a lot the past few days, and they've been apart for the entire time. They definitely need some time alone."

Sango still looked a little worried. "Well… if you say so."

"I know so. Their trust in each other must have been shaken greatly. They'll need each other to recuperate."

The exterminator appeared to be in deep thought for a few more seconds, before she smiled calmly and sighed, "I suppose your right. Well, we should head back to the village and get all our stuff. Then, we should start heading back towards our village."

As she sauntered away, she didn't forget to grab Kagome's backpack as well as the pot lying filthy on the ground. A very weak and injured Kirara also walked up to her, and Sango gingerly took the neko-youkai into her arms and cooed her. Miroku spoke up, "What about Kagome-sama and Inuyasha?"

"Inuyasha is fast enough, and his nose is good enough to find us when he wants to. Though I wonder if it will be a while before he wants to be around us at all. He was so angry."

"I would be too, had someone tried to take you away from me, Sango," Miroku replied, and Sango could easily detect that special hitch in his tone, "I don't think I would have done any differently."

She could feel his breath on her neck, he was so close to her, and she smiled as she abruptly stood out of his advance. "Well, aren't you the lucky one, then."

As his wife walked away, Miroku sighed and rested his chin in his palm, 'She always said _after we're married_, but I guess I really am the lady's fool.'

Dejectedly, Miroku followed behind his wife and the kitsune as they disappeared behind the trees. Kohaku took one long last look at his surroundings, feeling… something… that he thought he should know by heart, something that prodded at the back of his dark past, before he forgot about it and went after the others.

To be continued…

**Hurray! **

**Well, this is as good a time as any to state what's been on my mind for a while now. As I've stated before, I am leaving for an 11-month study in Spain, and my departure is in about two weeks. Now, I am nowhere near finished with this story, and although at times, I am struggling to decide how long I want to go on with this story, my imagination will not rest. I have no idea how long this story will end up being, but I know that I don't want to stop anytime soon. I do have a lot of things planned out, but I know there is a limit to how much I can exploit Kokuei. A lot of people have been thinking that this was going to be the climax, and I suppose I could just end it here, kill off Kokuei, and be done with it. But there are so many gaps left to be filled: the prophecy and the meaning behind the fic's title. I don't want to end this, although I know that by continuing onward, there is no looking back, and I dedicate myself to at least another 20 chapters. Normally, this wouldn't worry me at all, but going to Spain does complicate things quite a bit. I have no idea what internet access I'll be getting, or how often I'll be able to write. I don't even know what classes I'm taking yet. All I know is that I really really love this story and there just isn't enough time in the world to write down all the ideas that pop into my head. **

**I guess what I'm getting at here is that the end of the story is not near, and I don't plan on abandoning the story. Although my updating may be delayed, I will not stop until this story is somehow finished. I also have ideas for other fanfics that I have written outlines for already, and will probably at least start a few before the end of my education abroad. **

**I never expected this story to still going on at this point, but I have promised myself and others that I will finish this. For my delays, I am very very sorry, but they are likely to continue. I'll write as much as I can in the next two weeks, but I know that won't be enough. As long as you guys are willing to stick with me, I will continue to write with my heart and soul. **


	26. Ch 26: The Sway of My Heart

Ch 26: The Sway of My Heart

Their hearts swayed… slowly, slowly… Why? They did not know. In a rhythm as old as time, with the beat of the tree branches as they too swayed in the wind, they both could feel two heartbeats gently shaking their bodies. And though the winds eventually died away, between the two figures in the branches, the melody did not falter. Neither parting their lips, for every joy and pain was visible in the eyes. For so many moments, not a word was to be spoken, and they just sat together, her body straddling his as he held her impossibly close… chest to chest… both simply listening to the sounds of their breathing.

Inuyasha's lips whispered over her face, slightly open. He didn't kiss her, but rather he appeared to be feeling her. His hot breath encompassed her with the flow of their time. He never held his breath once. Warmth embodied her, his breath became her rapture, and a small, real smile resurfaced after many days. He was beautiful. Even as the world was dark to her, even as she closed her eyes to feel him, she could feel his beauty take hold of her and bring her to life. Never could she feel safer, more protected, than when his delicious exhale saturated her. She lacked the words to say, the feeling of such wholeness, of such purity, of such strength.

He pressed his delicate cheek to hers, closing his eyes and reveling in everything Kagome. Her many tears had finally died away, and for that, he was far more than grateful. Her dark tresses fluttered around him. The strutting river was murmuring somewhere below, twisting away into the deepness of the wood, bending to find its lover, the ocean, far away. The flowers and bees danced together, memories of her echoed in his heart. A lonely cuckoo calls out in the distance, abjectly asking 'where is my beloved?'. A little shy, a little nervous, it flowed from here to there, the gentle sway that had imprisoned him. Any second now, he felt certain he was about to die, for the throb was too great to be tamed. His very body would fall to pieces if he had to endure such pain at such happiness. Evil and wicked happiness… His very smile was as beautiful as it was pained.

Kagome pulled away, just enough to look at his eyes again. She knew now, more than ever, just how much he loved her. Her heart fluttered at the thickness behind his churning gold. Liquid heat, against her body as tender as water. Her hands reached out to touch his cheeks, to trace his eyes, as though trying to physically grasp that look from him, the perfection. She pressed forward to find his kiss, and he complied, even as his hands shook. His fingers tangled in her black hair. Her hair already long smelt of the oils on his hands. He ravaged her mouth with his, enslaving her and yet setting her free. There was no limit to how high she could fly, or how deep she could drown. How she managed to stay right where she was, she would never know.

The sweetness behind his kisses urged her to answer what he could not. He begged her to tell him how to erase the empty nights alone. He begged her to tell him how to forget all that had happened. He begged her to tell him how to take hold of her promises once more. How could she make his heart fragrant once again? How does he mend what had broken between them? Eager, he was, to bend to her every will. Whatever she needed for him to do, there was no measure to how far he would go.

When they ended the kiss, they didn't get any farther apart. Inuyasha rested her lips against Kagome's forehead as they both gently panted. His breath played with the tendrils of hair on the side of Kagome's face, making them shake just as much as his heart.

Finally, the first words were spoken. Kagome was the one to speak them. "Inuyasha… you…"

A deep sigh soothed her brow, "Nani?"

She opened her mouth, as though she had planned on saying something, but then shut her lips again. Inuyasha didn't let her get off that easy, and his whispers were delicate and silky, "Tell me."

Even if his words hadn't been the most convincing, she never felt more compelled to cooperate. She just shut her eyes and imagined a world where there was nobody else but the two of them, and she found the courage to break free her words. "Where were you…? I missed you…"

"I know," he replied.

"Please… Just explain it to me… Why did you have to leave us? You know I'll forgive you… no matter what it is… I trust you…"

"Kagome…" his voice got a little more normal to his character, but only slightly, "How can I possibly answer such a question? I don't even know anymore why I left."

"Even though you don't understand _how_ you could have left, you still must know _why_ you left in the first place. Please… I just want to know what happened."

His cheek nestled against her temple. "For you, Kagome…"

She was a little shocked and confused, but remained silent for him to answer. He pressed a kiss into her air before he went on, "You're stuck here because of me. For months now, you've been so far away from everything you're familiar with, your school, your friends, your family. How could I just sit back and let you give up hope? It's because of my foolishness that you lost the people you grew up with. I didn't know what to do. I was going out of my mind. But when I came to know that the last shikon shards were located within a few days travel, I had to take the chance. I had to take the opportunity to remedy this mistake of mine. With the Shikon no Tama, I could give you back everything I had taken from you."

When she was sure he was finished, she sighed deeply, "Inuyasha… You shouldn't have gone away without us."

"I know that," he replied, "I was stupid. I didn't think I could drag you into danger, when it was possible that something could go wrong. I couldn't get your hopes up by telling you what I wanted to do."

Suddenly, Kagome pulled back and looked at him straight in the eye, appearing now to be deeply confused and frustrated. "Why can't I make you understand?"

He blinked at her tone. Eyes sad and face pale, she shook her head lightly, never breaking her gaze with his, "…I don't bear a grudge against you. Even if at first I had never been more angry, even if it hurt me, I've known for months now that you never wanted to hurt me. Yes, I do miss my family, very much. But it's gotten so much easier with time, because I had you there beside me, because you made my life here worth while." Finding herself a little embarrassed by her forwardness, she quickly pressed her cheek into his haori, just missing the look of wonder on Inuyasha's face. "You act as though I regret my choice to stay with you. I haven't, not even for a second. If I had to, I would do it all over again. It is only without you that I don't belong in this world. It is only with you that I can forget what I have lost."

"Kagome… I can't take the place of a family. No one could ever take the place of your mother, your brother, your grandfather…" Inuyasha said slightly incredulously.

"You're right. No one can. But time heals all wounds."

"Does it?" Inuyasha asked, his voice full, almost passionate, "Does it really, Kagome?"

She was intrigued by his voice, and looked up again into his deep pools of gold. Her cheeks felt rather hot. It amazed her that he too could be so direct, even in a glance. Perhaps it was luck, or perhaps it was the jolt of their reunion, but she had never seen him look more determined. It was as though a storm lingered in his eyes. "I lost my family too, Kagome. Hell, for what few years I had with her, my mother was the only family I had. Life was always tough for me, but losing her made it so much worse. Losing her changed what I was. For so many years, I had nowhere to go. Nobody would take me in, not a soul. Sure, I have left behind that pain, but my mother's death is still printed deep in my memory. You won't live the isolated life I did, but losing your family will change you too. Could I really stand back and risk having you go through what I did? Could I let you be haunted for the rest of your life by the same things that haunted me? And if I was given a chance to make things better for you, what kind of person would I be if I didn't at least try?"

Even when she knew he had finished, she found she didn't have the strength to speak. Kagome couldn't remember a time when Inuyasha had been so open with her, and his thoughts and fears astonished her beyond measure. Though she had known all along that his past still hurt him, more times than not, he had hidden behind a rough exterior. Her eyes lost his as she suddenly appeared to be staring into the space between them. If truth be told, it made Inuyasha a lot more comfortable about saying what he did, but he would never take back a word of what he said. He loved her so much, and he couldn't bear it if the tragic events of his life repeated with her. Kagome was more beautiful, more intelligent, more amazing than he could ever be, and she deserved everything that he didn't have, especially her family. Already a miracle that she had chosen to be with him, he could be in no way worthy of her love until he gave her everything he had ever wanted.

When he saw fresh tears well up in her eyes, his ears drooped. Before he could panic, her words calmed him. "You would do such a thing for me? You'd protect me even from myself?"

Kagome didn't see the miniscule smile graced his face. "Keh! Don't be stupid. Of course I would."

A warm smile came to her as she recognized the voice she knew all too well of her Inuyasha, the voice that frantically tried to hide his feelings, the voice that she could read like a book. There was something so ethereal about him. All her life, she had come to believe that someone like him was made only for storybooks. Although he was flawed in many ways, she saw the perfection within his flaws. It was unnatural, how he could make the world disappear with just a glance, how he could melt her heart even with a brusque disregard, how he could move the world for her without even really needing to. Someone who had lived the life he had should have grown up bitter and unloving. On the contrary, beneath his tough exterior, his life alone had made him the most caring person she had ever known. Anyone who thought that a hanyou lacked a heart didn't see the hanyou who lived to defend all those who were weaker than him.

God, she loved him. "If I had lost you, Inuyasha… I would have been alone. Even if the whole world stood beside me, I would have been so alone…"

For a brief moment, she looked him in the eyes again, pleadingly, "Please, Inuyasha. Promise me you won't leave me again. Please… promise me I won't wake up alone ever again."

Eclipsed by her very words, cast over with the love that bloomed from her, Inuyasha felt a shiver run up his spine. Just as she had set his heart free, she also bound him to her forever, and he wouldn't have it any other way. The freest love was also the one most bound. Yet, inherently, he had always assumed that it was only he who was bound to her, not the other way around. He would follow her to the ends of the earth, because without her he was lost even to himself. Perhaps he should have realized that it was the same for Kagome. He had never had someone who needed him so much, who felt they would die of loneliness without him. Now, how could he not yield to such a wish? More than anything, he wanted that Kagome should never be alone ever again.

"I promise," he replied as he pressed a kiss into her forehead, regretting that his words sounded so empty. "And I really am sorry. I know, I shouldn't have left you, but I just wanted you to know that my intentions were good."

Her tired fingers gripped the fabric of his clothing, and she closed her eyes as his breath soothed back her hair. "Thank you, Inuyasha. Thanks for everything. For protecting me, for taking care of me, for trying to change the world for me. You really have no idea how much you mean to me."

The words barely registered with her, but Inuyasha had heard them, or rather felt them, breathing new life into him. With a loving flick of his finger, he nudged her chin, bringing her eyes upwards to meet his gaze. Her eyes were full and true. She really did mean every word that she said. In truth, there was no man luckier in the world than him. There couldn't have been. He held in his arms the most beautiful, most compassionate woman he had ever known, and she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

His lips fell on hers, hungry for her taste once again. Her soul pulled at his, silently demanding that he hold her tighter as much as gently soothe her. The sweet intoxication of her scent swept over him like the calm after a storm. The peace that she secured within his very body left him numb. As his fingers combed slowly through her hair, they became heavy, dense with love. They sank in deep enough that his arms were blanketed in her dark tresses.

Without the words to say everything he knew in his heart, he could only show her with this one display of affection that she was the world to him. Though he had fought countless battles, he had no courage for his own heart. He loved her so much and yet he wondered if he would ever tell her that. Would he ever find the strength to tell her? She deserved to hear those words, even if she already knew them. But as she kissed him back, running her fingers across his jaw and tangling them in his hair, he knew that it was enough for now just to be with her again. Somehow, now, everything would be alright. Because she still loved him.

Cruelly ironic was the pain in Inuyasha's side. As determined as he was to ignore the wound, Kagome could not ignore it as her fingers suddenly felt the blood. She pulled away, much to Inuyasha's chagrin. She was staring with wide eyes and a slightly agape mouth at the fresh blood on his haori. He was quick to say, "It's fine. It'll heal in no time."

Kagome bit her lip, furrowed her eyebrows as though she was thinking quite intently. "I've forgotten my bag. I don't have any bandages."

Her eyes caught sight of her own arm, broken and covered in bandages. Deciding that she could spare a few strips, she tried to tear a portion off.

Inuyasha's eyes went wide, for somehow he hadn't noticed the bandages before. "No…"

He carefully grabbed hold of her healthy arm, effectively stopping her from tearing away a section. His hand locked onto her and he didn't let go as he starred with blatant worry and anger at her broken arm. Kagome easily grew unsettled under his inquisitive gaze. She knew he was going to take her injuries completely out of proportion.

He asked, "Who? … When?"

"Uh…" she hesitated for a moment, "It was _him_… yesterday at Naraku's palace. It's alright. It might even just be a fracture."

Somehow the encouragement didn't seem to ease him much. He turned his eyes up to look at her again, wanting to test her disregard, but his eyes grew darker as he saw the bruises forming around Kagome's neck. She gave a small hiccup of surprise as he gently traced the blue skin. "And this…?"

Instantly, she remembered Kokuei's hand choking her in the air. She turned her eyes downwards for a few moments, as though she was ashamed to tell. "Today… just before you arrived."

Inuyasha's lips thinned as silent anger flooded his eyes. She quickly embraced him and tried to soothe him with her touch. He in turn wrapped his arms around her and held her close, but the anger never left his face. 'I'll kill him. I swear I'll kill him.'

"We should find the others," she spoke up, "They hopefully picked up my bag. There's a first aid kit inside."

Inuyasha sighed deeply. If truth be told, the last thing he wanted was to leave her arms and go back to their friends. All he really wanted now was to be alone with Kagome. As she tried to pull away from him, he grabbed on again and held her nose to nose with him.

"Inuyasha…"

"In a minute," he muttered, just before his lips covered hers once again.

To be continued…

**I'll try my best to get one more in before I leave.**


	27. Ch 27: I Won't Break

**WARNING:** **dun-dun-dun… LIME! Please please don't be offended. You are welcome to skip over it if you wish. Not like I can stop you. Note: the fic rating has now changed to M for Mature. **

Chapter 27: I Won't Break

Winter never passed without a bit of weather now and then, and yet it only seemed to turn a little dreary when the group had a far distance to travel. And being so far away from all things familiar, would it snow or would it rain? The cold was already stiffening. Sango, who usually preferred the silent beauty of falling snow, found herself begging fate to send them rain in loo of snow, if only to be slightly warmer. It seemed she got her wish, as the miniscule tickle of water came over her again and again.

"Looks like we'll be getting rain tonight," Sango remarked as she stared at the darkening sky, which instead of stars, held looming clouds.

"Looks like it," Miroku agreed, "But I don't know if we'll find any real shelter for miles. If Inuyasha and Kagome-sama don't return soon, we'll have to quicken our pace."

Sango nodded. Though the hanyou was fast, they had thought it best to keep a steady pace so that he could catch up with them as soon as possible. The longer the group was separated, the longer they remained vulnerable, especially now, since the Shikon no Tama was completed. Sango, in particular, was more than willing to speed up their journey home in spite of the dangers, with the hopes that she could avoid Inuyasha for a little bit longer. If she knew anything, she knew that Inuyasha was not one to forgive so quickly. And the lot of them had tried to keep Inuyasha away from Kagome, which was not likely to bode well with him at all. Although she knew full well that a confrontation was inevitable, even her mind was rambling. She could willingly be shamefaced, but there was more to her worry than just petty shame.

Despite knowing that she had done only what a good friend would do in her situation, she couldn't help but feel extremely guilty. She was a loyal friend to Kagome, but Inuyasha was her friend too, and she had acted like she didn't even know him. He had put a lot of faith in her when he took her in. She owed him so much. Then again, what else could she have done when all the evidence had been pointing straight at him. Well, no matter what, she would need to apologize. The only thing she could hope for now was that Inuyasha would trust them again, or else the group would fall apart.

Many minutes passed, and the rain had finally begun about an hour after they left the others. And as Sango remained lost in her thoughts, a familiar voice rang out through the sounds of falling water.

"Oi! Stop!"

The five travelers turned to see their two missing members approaching from the distance. Instead of carrying her on his back, Inuyasha carried Kagome in his arms, no doubt on account of her wounded arm, which wouldn't be able to grip onto him very tightly. The hanyou's white gi was already soaked and his skin shown through the fabric like he wasn't wearing anything at all. His haori was wrapped around Kagome and hooded over her head to keep her warm and to block the rain. As usual, Inuyasha traveled in wide leaps, and still he managed to land softly beside the others.

Much to Sango's discontent, she was the first Inuyasha addressed, "Kagome's backpack. Give it here."

Like an obedient servant, she didn't hesitate as she pulled it from her shoulder and held it out for him. He approached without even a pause and motioned for Kagome to take it. Kagome did pause, to look into Sango's eyes. The look she gave her said that she need not worry, that Inuyasha would forgive them. Once Kagome had the bag in her lap, Inuyasha stared to move away again. Sango held out her hands and exclaimed softly, "Wait..."

He obeyed, but the look he gave her wasn't exactly friendly, though nor was it malicious. Just perturbed. Sango took about a second to bite her lip and then said, "I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I really am."

Miroku stepped up with Shippou on one shoulder and Kirara in his arms, "We all are."

He regarded the boys for a moment in a curious manner, as though he was analyzing them. Miroku winced a little. Perhaps this would take some time… Sango continued, "We should have known it wasn't you. I hope someday you can forgive us."

Long moments passed. Kagome looked up at Inuyasha imploringly, but the hanyou didn't really seem to notice the plea. His face never changed as he stared Sango down. Finally, his little ears flicked, and he began to walk away, "Just forget it. I'm sure it's just what he wanted you to believe."

Sango let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"We're going ahead."

"What?" Sango replied.

Inuyasha didn't answer again. He sped off once again into the distance, with Kagome still nestled in his arms.

"Inuyasha! Wait! You can't just leave us here!" Sango shouted.

"What in the world is he thinking?" Miroku asked in bewilderment.

Sango groaned, "I don't know. One of these days we're going to need to tie him up."

Miroku couldn't help but giggle, just a little.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Really, Inuyasha… We've gotta work on this habit of yours."

"What habit?"

"Running away."

"Oi! I wasn't running away from them. They'll catch up fine. I can't afford to slow down for them."

"And you couldn't just stop for a few minutes to put on these bandages?" Kagome thought with an inner smirk.

"Keh! No!"

She couldn't help but suspect that he just wanted more time alone with her.

The rain was coming down harder and harder by the minute. Unlike Sango, both the miko and hanyou were suffering in the stinging cold of the rain and wind, and would have greatly preferred the bitter cold of a gentle snowfall. Even wrapped in the thick red haori, Kagome's skin was soaked. As she shivered, Inuyasha held her closer and closer, trying to keep her warm even as his skin grew numb. He never complained once, but Kagome glanced up once and saw the tell-tale sign of a trembling jaw. She sighed, "Let's stop."

"No way!"

"That wasn't a suggestion. It's a command," she growled a little.

"We're not stopping until we find a good spot," he growled back harder.

"I'll say 'it'…"

Kagome could feel his body stiffen. "Uh… Damnit, wench! … Why do you have to be so damn difficult?"

"We're still not stopping…"

"Alright! Alright!" Inuyasha whined angrily.

He veered off to the left, until they came across a large evergreen, whose full branches left a rather large spot of grass untouched by the winter snow. What snow had been covering the branches above was now dissolving with the rain. Kagome smirked to herself as they finally came to a stop. "And you said we wouldn't find a good place."

"Keh! We're completely in the open!"

"I'm sure it'll only take a few minutes. And when the others catch up, we can go find a suitable, safer place to sleep."

Kagome squirmed, expecting him to let her down, but to her surprise, he didn't let her go until they both were seated on the ground. He didn't hesitate as he pulled the backpack from her and began digging through it for the first aid kit. The sun was setting fast, so along with the bandages, he pulled out a lantern. For about a minute, he fumbled with the matches, until Kagome finally took pity on him and lit the lantern herself. As she tucked away the matches, she sighed, 'Never thought I could miss flashlights so much.'

She laughed when she saw Inuyasha struggling as he unraveled the bandages. She reached for them, "Give those here. I'll take care of your wounds first."

"I'll do my own once I'm done with yours. And no laughing, wench!" He pulled the bandages closer to him.

Kagome gripped harder on her end of the bandages, until the material became taut between them. "Oh, shut up! There's a hole in your stomach!"

Inuyasha pulled on the material a little more, and this time their noses nearly touched as they glared at each other, "Hanyou… Remember? Now give me those bandages."

"A bleeding hanyou. Give 'em to me!"

"Your damn arm is broken!"

It just occurred to him then how easily her flame met his. It was clear in her eyes. She could be just as persistent as him. "You think you're invincible, but you're not. The worse I'm getting is a broken arm, but you could end up with your entire stomach infected. If your youkai blood allows your skin to heal over that then I won't forgive you, and I doubt you'll forgive yourself either for all the pain you'll be in."

Inuyasha hesitated. Even he had to admit that she made a lot more sense than she did. Still, as the man, he should have been the one to take care of her, right? And yet, he remembered full well as he looked into her burning eyes that she took care of him just as much as he did her. With an aggravated sigh of defeat, he plopped to the ground and let the bandages fall slack.

With a satisfied smirk that she tried to keep from his sight, she plopped the mess of gauze into her lap. Inuyasha watched on in a displeased fashion as she started to wrap the material back into a neat ball. She winced a few times from the pain in her arm, and Inuyasha fought back the urge to complain. She sensed his distress, and so tried to focus him on another subject. "I couldn't help but notice that you weren't exactly friendly to the others when we ran into them."

He snapped his head up and scowled, "Keh! I don't know what you mean! I've been who I've always been!"

"It wasn't like that and you know it," she replied, and scooted up closer to him.

Skillfully using only one hand, she pushed the soaked gi from Inuyasha's shoulders and gently pulled it from his arms. A soft pinkish color enveloped Inuyasha's cheeks at the touch of her hands on his bare skin, but with a shake of the head, he pushed the feeling from his mind.

Kagome went on, "… You just seemed a lot colder to them."

"They fucking attacked me, Kagome. I'm bound to be a little irritated with them."

One end of the bandage roll was left open, and with her good arm, she pulled a stretch of it all the way around him. She had brought herself so close to do it that her breasts brushed against his chest. Despite her clothing, which was the only barrier between them, Inuyasha found himself fighting back a light moan. 'What… what is this…?'

She was close, too close to him as she came back again and again to brush against his body. Because she could only use one hand, she had to hold the bandage in place with her upper leg. Her hot breath tickled his skin, and he was fast forgetting what they were talking about.

"Anyway, I'm not really mad at them… I just… thought they would have trusted me… a little more."

'And me…?'

Kagome looked up, seeking answers in his eyes, only to find herself frozen in place by the searing heat behind his gaze. Her eyes widened but he didn't seem to notice her shock. He just kept staring at her, unmoving, unchanging. He sent war to her with a sudden eruption of need. Yet behind the need, there was confusion. A billowing feeling, cloudy like smoke, slowed the blood in her veins.

How could she understand this feeling? She had never had it before. Sure, she had wanted him before, but never like this. Behind his gaze, he seemed to promise her the world. He seemed to promise her the greatest joy of all, the joy of being as close to him as humanly possible, of being only his to touch forever more. Her thoughts soared to think what could remedy this sudden ache.

With more strength than she knew she had, she tore her eyes from his, in earnest trying to focus on finishing what she had started. She gulped and kept her movements as soft as possible, though the more she came to realize just how close she was to him, the harder it became to push down the flicker within her.

Inuyasha eyes suddenly widened as a new element infiltrated his senses. 'That scent…'

Kagome's scent, only much much different. Still sweet and welcoming as he remembered it, but now it took on a different hue, almost spicy. And he didn't know why, but it made his very soul writhe. He turned his face away from her as redness covered his cheeks. He closed his eyes and tried to fight down his desperate need for breath. He couldn't risk to breathe, not when she was this dangerously close to him. Not when she seemed to pull at him like never before. His mind swam with thoughts of her body pressed tightly against him, and no matter where he went, there was no escaping it. The only thing he could do was drown in his need, trying futilely to fight off the urge to reach for her. His hands were already twitching.

And just like that, the magic was over. She pulled away from him quickly, shattering the consuming heat. "There… that's done."

Still a little dazed, he was surprised when he looked down to see that the bandages were firmly wrapped and tied into place. He ran a hand over them for a second, then looked back up at Kagome. For a moment, he could have sworn that he saw pinkness to her cheeks, but she was looking away from him and rummaging through the bag as though she didn't realize what he was suffering.

He sighed and shook the thoughts away. 'Don't be stupid,' he thought to himself, 'She ain't like that. It's all in your imagination.'

He didn't know what she was looking for, but it was taking her quite a long time. What he didn't know what that she wasn't even searching for anything at all. She was just trying to occupy herself so she wouldn't have to look up again and see those eyes. It was hard for her to admit, but that look had… scared her… somewhat. Not because she hated how he looked at her, because she didn't. What scared her were the feelings it summoned. She felt, well, wild. Her heart pounded hard against her ribs like it wanted an escape. Her mind became dizzy and hazy. In her mouth, she could feel an odd thirst, more powerful than just normal thirst. Something inside her seemed to be trembling at the thought of those deep golden eyes, reading out her feelings, mirroring the want that just wouldn't ebb away. She could hardly stand it.

Forgetting about her wounded arm, she didn't take care to avoid it, and mistakenly tried to use it to support her body against the ground. When her hand hit the ground, the pain richocheted throughout her arm, and she couldn't help but let out a yelp of pain. Inuyasha's dizzying aftermath was abruptly replaced by another all-to-familiar need. "Baka!"

He came to her. She cradled her arm to her stomach and panted lightly. Gently, he took her arm in his hand, balancing her arm on his own as his fingers carefully gripped her elbow. He glared at her, "You see what an idiot you can be, huh? Kagome?"

She still refused to look at him. Who knew what would happen if she was lost in his eyes again? At least the pain served to distract her from her own heart. But Inuyasha was unyielding. He sought out her gaze, and she found herself thinking him the cruelest man alive. "Kagome. Look at me."

She refused. "Look at me!"

He forced her to look in his eyes with his other hand. He grabbed her chin and pulled her head up so that she had no choice but to look him straight in the eye. But to her infinite relief, she no longer saw that unsettling gaze. She only saw the face that she had grown to love, looking clearly annoyed and even gentle. "The next time you pull something like this, you won't be getting anymore slack from me."

She couldn't help it. A soft smile lingered on her lips, causing Inuyasha's heart to flutter a little. "Keh!"

He reached for the bandages and dropped them in his lap. Using his claw, he tore open the old bloodied bandages she had been wearing all day. The air-parched skin beneath suddenly breathed in the winter air with a satisfied breeze. He threw the old ones aside and looked down at her arm. The bruise was still there. His claw hung back, tracing the bruise as he furrowed his brow in thought. Kagome lost her smile as she noticed just how upset he seemed to be. He just kept staring at her arm.

Before she knew it, her heart was filled with sadness. The soft undertone in his eyes could only mean one thing. There was such dread in them. She knew Inuyasha well enough to know that he was pulling away again, because he suddenly began to despise himself again.

He wrapped her arm with the utmost care, never once causing her to flinch. It never ceased to amaze her how someone so unbelievably strong could be so unbelievably tender. He cherished her as though she was made of glass, or better yet as though she was made of sand. At times he held her so close that she felt nothing in the world could ever touch her, and at times his hands lingered just above her as though he was afraid to touch her himself. It occurred to her that she should have known all along that he loved her. There had only been love in his protection, in his gentleness, even when he was displeased. His love itself shielded her from all the bad things that could ever come to mind. There was no monster nor man that could make her feel any less happy than when he loved her the way he did. His touch healed her, his eyes claimed her, his heartbeat calmed her, his voice swayed her heart. If only he could realize just how much he moved her. If only he didn't look like the world had come to an end.

Not a moment after he had tied off the bandage, she grabbed hold of him. There was no stopping it. He looked up into her eyes. The sadness was melting away at her. He was silent. She would give anything in that moment for him to say that _she_ was the idiot. She would die a million times over if only he didn't look like he had failed her. He could never fail her. Not even if he had tried. He was too good a person, too wonderful a person, for him to make her not love him to every corner of her spirit.

She cupped his cheek with her hand, and said the only words she could think to say. "Inuyasha… I won't break… I promise."

Her sweetness took him to the moon. She enforced his silence. Too beautiful, too precious… He had long complained that a woman like her could ever exist. All his life he had known nothing but hate, nothing but disappointment. And from the moment they met, she had begun to mold him to something beautiful like her. Because of her, he began to believe that there was more to the world than just brute strength. She was the invisible force that held his life. She was the melody that set the rhythm of his heartbeat. The stars fell in her eyes. The sun bloomed in her touch. The movement of the earth played on her fingers, like she conducted everything around him. She alone made his heart come alive again. His heart was full, because he had her. He was beautiful, because he had her.

There was no stopping himself. His love for her was so deep that the need to touch her again was unavoidable. He reached out for her with both hands, grasping her body as his lips fell over hers. She responded just as hungrily, using her good arm to wrap around him and pull him against her. His right hand trailed down her back, his claws so defined they barely missed tearing her shirt. He pressed into her not enough to hurt her but enough to rekindle the swirling bloom of need.

Her new scent returned to him, wild and spirited, pushing his mind to the limits of sanity. He wanted her smell to fill him. He wanted her to fill the emptiness of night with the light of her soul. He wanted to bury himself in her arms and find himself reborn in them. He wanted to be hers and hers alone, until his dying breath. He could very well die right there. As her hands coaxed the bare skin of her shoulders and neck into a burgeoning fire, he knew this murder of him was to be her fondest occasion.

Before they knew it, Inuyasha had pushed her back into the tree behind them. She didn't realize how the bark of the tree scraped her skin. Inuyasha quickly pushed her clothing off her shoulders, and let his lips travel hungrily across her jaw, down her neck, across every inch of skin he could find. She let out thirsty gasps. Her hand buried in his silver hair. Every touch of his lips left her skin shaking as much as would an earthquake. What word could there be for a feeling like this? It wasn't just lust. The world spun around her. She was dissolving in her love for him, in the need to touch every part of him. She tried her hardest to call out his name, but only managed a moan.

Inuyasha's head and heart were pounding hard. Her scent and body did what the whole world failed to do, weaken his strength, bring him to his knees, feed his spirit with passion. Her skin was salty and yet sweet in his mouth. Almost animalistic, an unconscious voice seemed to call to him, the need, the demand that she was his, that no one else could ever taste her like this. She was his only gift, the only mercy that destiny had given him, and there was no way in hell he was ever going to let her go. Her love made him whole in impossible ways. The idea that she could want him was enough to nourish his hunger. Her gasps enticed him. Her estranged moan beckoned him. It was a sound so full of want that he couldn't refuse her. His brought his lips back up to meet hers.

Soon it wasn't enough that they were this close. He needed to be closer. With a clumsy pull, he yanked the shirt over her head, and she helped him to remove it. A moment later her shirt was lying in a heap beside them, and Inuyasha had pressed his body tightly against hers. She was helplessly trapped between Inuyasha and the tree, and he was relentless in his kisses. Only a thin cotton bra separated them. Her stomach and her chest melted away at his skin. His hands were scorched by the heat on her bare back. His lips settled in the crook of her neck, gently sucking and planted wet kisses wherever he could.

His kisses went lower this time, nearly reaching the lift of her breasts, but he held himself back for fear that he would loose himself before he got the chance to cherish her completely. His reserve didn't last long. One of his hands rang up and down her side, groping every part of her, hesitating at it laid over the curve of skin just below her swell. She pushed into him in a silent demand, then gasped as his palm fell over her.

"Ah- Inuyasha!"

"_Inuyasha!"_

They froze.

"_Inuyasha! Kagome-sama!"_

Inuyasha's growl was deep and unforgiving. Kagome couldn't help but feel the same anger. The sounds of Miroku's calling voice broke through the heat of their excursions. Their friends were close behind them.

Inuyasha angrily mumbled into her shoulder, "That bastard, Miroku. I think he's ready to die now."

Kagome couldn't help but agree with him, if only a little. Still, she pushed down her frustration with a smile and embraced him lovingly. He returned the embrace, and they sighed together, realizing that their passionate escapade had come to an end.

'Well… It's too soon anyway,' Kagome thought, 'We've only just found each other again.'

"It's alright," she told him when she felt that he wasn't quite relaxing, "We have all the time in the world."

He sighed again. She was right, and he wouldn't want to do anything that they might regret later. They weren't quite ready yet, as it were. Still, his hatred for the monk had increased considerably.

Both weren't very willing to let go of each other, even if the magic had passed. But once again, the voices of their friends broke through their contentment, and this time they were even closer. Only a few yards away. Startled, Inuyasha bounded away from Kagome, rolled on the ground once to catch her shirt and throw it back to her. He landed by his gi, which he instantly threw onto himself. By the time the others arrived, both he and Kagome were decently clothed.

Miroku was the first to break through the forest. As soon as he saw the couple, he halted and put his hands to his knees. The tired monk gasped for breath. Without Kirara able to carry them, and with Shippou being so exhausted, it had been damn near impossible to find them. "Thank goodness! I thought you two were going to send us on yet another impossible journey."

Inuyasha got to his feet, and slowly began advancing towards the monk. Miroku looked up to see Inuyasha's dangerous eyes. The sounds of Inuyasha's claws cracking soon followed. "Wh-what's the matter, Inuyasha?"

"Miroku, temee…"

"Inuy-Inuyasha… You aren't still mad about before, are you? We meant it when we said we were sorry," Miroku said as he backed away.

"I know you're sorry, monk. You're just an idiot!"

"Why do you say such a thing?"

Kagome's cheeks were redding. If this kept going on, Inuyasha might reveal what they had been up to. Luckily for her, Sango and the others emerged from the same place Miroku had come from, with both Kirara and Shippou in her arms. "Kagome-chan! Inuyasha! We never thought we would catch up with you!"

Kagome smiled, "I'm sorry. What with the rain and all, we wanted to find someplace dry to change our bandages before our wounds got infected."

"Oh. That's good then," Sango responded.

"Inuyasha, leave Miroku alone. Now that everyone's here, we can go find a place to stay the night."

Inuyasha obeyed, but still didn't look satisfied. He crossed his arms, "Keh! I suppose this place is as good as any other. It's dry at least."

"Well said," said Sango as she ran a hand over her forehead to remove the sweat, "I'm really tired. If we can stop here for the night, I would be grateful."

Kagome suddenly realized that she too was exhausted. In fact she wouldn't remember the last time she had a full night's sleep. "Sounds wonderful."

In a few minutes, the group had set up camp. After a quick dinner consisting of ramen, much to Inuyasha's delight, everyone settled in for a good nights sleep. The sun had gone down and the world was dark, save for the dying fire. Miroku and Sango nestled in their cot, Shippou and Kirara slept next to them, Inuyasha leapt into the branches of the tree.

"Inuyasha."

Inuyasha looked down at Kagome, who motioned for him to come down.

He landed softly beside her and crossed his arms as he looked at her, "What is it, wench?"

She hesitated, for about two seconds, before she reached up and placed an innocent kiss on his cheek. "Good night."

And just like that, she was back in her sleeping bag. Inuyasha blushed, "Keh," and jumped back into his tree.

To be continued…

**Whew! Long chapter! **

**So yeah… lime-ness… I really hope no one was offended by it. I've never done anything like this before but I figure it is another challenge for me to conquer. I'll probably end up writing a lemon simply because I like all the opportunities for fluff I can put into it. If I'm lucky, this won't mean losing any support. If I do write a lemon, it doesn't mean that I have poor taste. It just means that I'm a writer, or more accurately, a writer in training. Thank you very much if you continue to read in spite of this.**

**Alright! Well, tomorrow I am moving to Spain. God knows when I'll be able to write again, but I hope it's soon. Wish me luck! I'll keep writing if you keep reading. All the best!**


	28. Ch 28: Home and Heart

**They say that sadness makes the heart grow fonder. It certainly does…**

Chapter 28: Home and Heart

Home reaches out to all those vast in distance. It beckons the weary traveler home with undeterred memories. He too felt the gentle pull of that place so far away. The smell of this forest felt so strange. The hanyou realized now just how much he had missed the familiarity of that village by the Bone-Eater's Well. What did keep his frays nerves from getting any worse was the comforting scent of the miko who slept beneath his branch.

Only with his demonic abilities was he able to just barely detect the outline of the mountain range far away. The fire had died down, clouds covered the stars, and rain blocked most of the world from his eyes. But after a couple hours, the rain was gone. Inuyasha could sense that the storm had passed. The feeling was always the same whenever the rain died away. The world was fresh, seemingly reborn, quiet, and young. He loved the feel of it, the smell of it.

For the umpteenth time that night, he pulled up his white gi to look at his wounds. The bandages Kagome had put on him had been removed only in an hour's time. He was never one to use bandages, and only did because Kagome wanted him too. He kept checking himself to see if his wound was healing properly. Though he always prided himself on his fast-healing capabilities, on this night the process never seemed quite so slow. But finally, he gave a satisfied nod and muttered to himself, "Good enough."

He jumped to the ground, without so much as a twinge of pain from his wounds, though he knew that he would still not get off so easily, even if he did feel infinitely better. The monk was lying in front of him, a big stupid grin plastered on his face, a smile that spoke volumes about what he was dreaming. Using his foot, Inuyasha nudged him and whispered, "Oi… Wake up."

Miroku's smile only grew, and his arm flopped over daintily as though he were weakly pushing something away, "So playful tonight, Sango…"

With a roll of the eyes, Inuyasha squatted down and shook him hard, "Hey!"

Miroku snorted as he finally woke. As he saw Inuyasha staring down at him, he replied groggily, "Inuyasha, what-?"

"Shh!" Inuyasha put his finger to his lips. Once Miroku shut up, Inuyasha continued in a loud whisper, "Take care of the others."

The monk yawned a great big yawn and smacked his lips, "Sure."

Inuyasha had a feeling Miroku hadn't heard him the first time. "Hey! I said watch the others, okay? We'll be going on ahead."

"Alright, alright. I got it," Miroku remarked in a bothered tone.

Instantly, the monk was back on the ground with his blanket up to his chin. Inuyasha fought off the urge to kick him again, 'Keh! He can figure it out for himself.'

His eyes instantly softened when he came upon Kagome. He could see her body rise and fall with every breath. The hair tendrils that had fallen over her face fluttering with every exhale. The built-in hood of her sleeping bag was draped around her head like a cloak. He didn't know what it was, but he could tell that she sleeping deeply. She had every right to be. He frowned slightly, annoyed that he had to interrupt something she so greatly deserved.

He kneeled down beside her and took just a second longer to admire her look of peace. Then, he took the dark hair into his fingers and pushed it away from her face, calling out softly, "Kagome…"

She didn't even stir. "Kagome," he said a little louder.

Still nothing. He grabbed her shoulder and shook, "Kagome."

Finally, Kagome gave a small whimper and her soft eyes fluttered open. "W-wha…?"

"Hey." He gestured his head to the side, or rather towards his back, and said, "Get on. It's time to go."

He didn't miss the look of acute annoyance. She really was exhausted. If any better off health wise, she might have sat him. Luckily for him, she felt she didn't have the energy to ask why he demanded this. Really, she had no reason to question anything he did. With a loud yawn, she came out of her sleeping bag. Inuyasha stopped her just long enough to hand her his haori. Once she was snug inside its warmth, she climbed aboard his back and wrapped her arms around him. She was asleep again within seconds.

Inuyasha straightened his back and looked once more at his sleeping friends, then towards the horizon. They would be fine. There wasn't that long of a distance to travel anyway. Everyone had traveled a good distance back in the direction of their village when they had been hunting each other. Inuyasha grimaced at the memory.

When the hanyou sprang away into the night, the miko on his back didn't react in the least. She was already fast asleep. Still, Inuyasha took special care not to make any sudden movements. Not just for her sake, but for his as well. His wounds were still deep. He looked up at the quarter moon with a pleased smile. Never in all his life was he more grateful to be a hanyou.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

The dark splendor of night was replaced with the harsh beauty of the sun. He didn't know why, but the winter suddenly felt… so warm. Goshinboku was tall and flourishing. The tree that defied the effects of time didn't react to the blistering cold, and it seemed here that the world was at its mercy. The grass was fresh. The breeze was slow. At the base of the tree, the giant exposed roots surrounded a hanyou dressed in red and white; in his lap, there cradled a woman.

With squinted eyes, he looked towards the sun. High noon…

She awoke with new life breathing into her bones. The long missed feeling of protection shrouded over her… a red haori. Her cheek rested against something hard and yet also soft. The edge of clothing rubbed against her nose. She could smell earth and mint. Before she opened her eyes, she knew whose arms she lay in. She didn't know why, but didn't much care.

"Hey."

He spoke for the first time in hours. She turned her face upwards and found him staring down at her. Whether it was from grogginess or reality, his face appeared so tranquil. There was no harshness left in his eyes. Was this a dream? His eyes were gentle. His lips were curled just slightly into a faint smile. Had he ever looked so at peace? She couldn't remember the last time he willingly showed her his happiness.

Her eyes were half closed, as she suddenly felt a little dizzy, "Hey…"

When she got her bearings, she looked around her. Even if they were just trees and shrubs, she recognized them instantly. Looking up again to confirm it, she saw the mighty branches of Goshinboku hanging over them. "What… we're back?"

"Yeah," he said softly.

She didn't remember waking up the night before, but drew her own conclusion. "You carried me this whole way… in one night?"

He nodded. Her eyes narrowed happily. Any more and it would have been a scowl. But her eyes were deep with contentment. He couldn't help but feel the same. This was their forest. Furthermore, this was the place they first met. Who would have thought that a few years later, he would be holding her like this. This was the only place where they felt truly at home. It was the tree that held Inuyasha in waiting; it was the tree that guarded Kagome's childhood; it was the tree where life took such an amazing turn; it was the tree that had surpassed 500 years to keep their love alive. For once, the passage of time didn't seem such an awful thing. Even sitting beneath it, they both felt as if time were stilling.

Who knew how long they stayed there, basking in warmth. But finally, Inuyasha turned his face forward, and she followed suite. There, in the distance, a wooden well laid still and quiet. Kagome felt a cold shiver run down her spine. Was it excitement? Was it worry?

"When did we get here?" she asked.

"About an hour ago," he answered.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

He laid his cheek against her head. There were many reasons, weren't there? A few were obvious: she had been so tired, and he so loved to watch her sleep in his arms. But there were other reasons for why he hesitated, reasons he didn't fully understand. The jewel was complete, after years of waiting. And in a few years, nothing was the same. Instead of using it for change, he was going to use it to make things like they always were, for the one he loved more than anything. He hoped it was a wish pure enough to work, even if it was from a half-demon. Also, what would her family think when they arrived? Would they be angry with him? Would they try to keep Kagome from him? He knew if faced with such a challenge, he would win, but he dreaded the thought that he might have to keep her away from her own family in order to stay with her.

He didn't answer her question. Instead, he pulled both himself and Kagome to their feet. He hadn't taken more than a step towards the well when Kagome stopped him. He looked back to her. She pulled out the Shikon no Tama from her pocket and held it delicately in her hands. She stared at it for a few moments, before turning her head up to face him again. "Is this really what you want? It's your wish, Inuyasha. I don't want you to have any regrets."

Not a second after the words escaped her mouth, his hand clasped over hers, trapping the jewel between them. His eyes ravished hers, seeking out her soul, though it was already his to possess. The golden splash of his irises slowly delivered her from uncertainty. He was her constant, and her savior. She could feel the swirls of power in the jewel. She could sense the jewel growing warmer, slowing, breathing. It was like a living thing. And Inuyasha's beguiling stare pierced through the stillness and embedding itself within her soul, her mind numbed to everything but him.

"Do you have any regrets, Kagome?" he asked.

How could she, as she fell deeper and deeper into him. No, suddenly nothing in life seemed a bad thing. Not for anything would she trade a second of her life with him. Never would she deny his needs and his wants. Never would she doubt a single thing, whether it was right or wrong. There wasn't a damn thing more special than these past years.

When she didn't answer, he simply replied, "Then neither do I."

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Running down the gentle curve, the melting water sped the descent. Falling white on the white earth blocked out the world. Beauty unfolded into a harsh touch, unmoved by sorrow or by joy. The laughter of ages echoed in the soil, a memory slipping through the falling sky. Not a single memory, but countless memories, all melted into one. She knew each memory was the same, every laugh was a piece of her heart… every smile… every flutter of hair… every high-pitched voice, calling out inaudible things as the snow bunched beneath tiny feet… They were running…

The hard heel of her boot caused the stony pavement to echo, and she saw the small child of four jumping down the steps, following her little slinky toy. She cries out, _"Mine is going to win!" _

Her home came into view as she reached the top. The overhanging kept the front door dry. The path had been swept away of snow, and her boots continued to clap against the stone. A little boy passed her, cackling madly, or as menacingly as could someone his age. He was dressed in his summer best, with blue shorts and a yellow t-shirt. His face was dusty from play. Behind him, the older girl gave chase, with fire in her eyes. The pink ribbons in her hair bounced with every leap on her legs. She was angry. _"Give it back, Souta!"_

When would the winter ever pass?

Something creaked in the wind, and she looked to her right. 'Goshinboku…'

Her steps halted. Everyday, the tree seemed to get bigger. It was such a monstrous thing, and yet so gentle to her memory. It captured her heart and held it in place. For a moment, she saw the face of her little girl… no, her little woman… just the same and yet so different since last they looked upon each other. Her face was happy, though stained with many tears. In her eyes, there was timeless comfort, a life filled with much joy and only some pain. A happy survival… a great success… more than any mother could wish for her daughter. She waved to her, speaking softly, _"Mama…"_

And _he_ was there, as well. His giving eyes were feeding her a sincere hope, so powerful, it issued a light gasp from her lungs. A beautiful boy who had looked to her with such wonderment… and she suddenly found herself doing the same to him. The uncertain boy smiled with his eyes. He only meant to give her peace. He would be remembered as the boy who had taken her away, and yet honored as the boy who loved her daughter. The intensity of his gaze proved it to her. He gave her daughter a gentle kiss on the lips, and they both faded away.

She hadn't realized she was crying until the tear fell from her cheek. She wiped the remains away.

Everyday, she had seen the faces of those who had left them behind. With every step she took, the well-learned laughter followed her. Her children, growing up, exploring the world, falling in love. No matter where she was, she could always feel her long lost daughter. There was more comfort in them than pain. It was only during the night when the memories would not play with her mind, and she would cry silently.

The tree creaked, and she looked up again. 'Green leaves…?' she mused.

Not a moment ago, she could have sworn that the few leaves remaining were brown.

She stared a few moments longer, before she realized just how cold she was feeling. She turned back towards the house. With her sleeve, she wiped away the tears from her cheeks.

"… Mama……?"

She didn't alter her course. She only waited for the vision of her little girl running past her. When nothing happened, she felt cold, and not just from the snow.

She stopped.

Her eyes remained locked on the ground. Her veins were on fire, and her skin was freezing over. Her mind was turning over and over again. The loud thump of her heart gave her stomach a woozy feeling. Glancing at her hand, she realized it was shaking. Was she going mad?

"…Mama…"

She glanced upwards. Her heart came to a stop. They were right there, in front of her, more vibrant than any other vision before. The snowflakes were tangling in her hair. Her smile was big, her cheeks were pink and drenched in moisture. She was wrapped in the hanyou's red haori. He stood just beside her, with both hands of both her shoulders. He was looking at her just as he had done for many months now, in the far reaching corners of her mind. They stood as a barrier against every tear she had ever cried. They covered her darkest winter with warming light. They were glowing in the ethereal beauty that encompassed them. The girl took two steps forward, choking on her smile as she murmured again, "Mama…"

Her chest and face began to shake almost violently. New tears, big, full, salty tears drowned her vision. How shakily did she exhale, and then inhale again. She walked forward with slow, timid steps, as though she were an old woman. She felt her heart was near to collapsing within her chest. A small, strangled cry escaped her. As the winter snow froze her body, she didn't have a care for the feeling. Her daughter was home.

Both women sprang forward, and in a second were locked in a tight embrace. The mother's deep sobs burst forth powerfully. Kagome let her tears flow over the older woman's shoulder. Like magic, the touch of mother and child made their hearts come alive. The bond had never been broken. From the day she was born, they had belonged to each other. Not even 500 years could change that.

The two were too distracted to see how Inuyasha smiled, full and bright, as the lining of his eyes began to glisten. He ardently pushed back the hot pressure behind his eyelids. He bit his lip and just stood there, watching Kagome's mother pull back to look at and touch her daughter's face. He wasn't afraid anymore. Never in his life had he felt so powerful. The jewel was gone, and he had given Kagome her family. No, he wouldn't regret a thing. The look on her mother's face was enough to prove to him that it was all worth it. He swore he could feel his very own mother smiling down on him now.

He pushed down his big smile as he saw Kagome's mother suddenly glance up at him. She looked between Kagome and him, as though she could sense the new bond between them. The look she gave him was blank. He didn't know what to make of it. When she continued to stare his way, he took it as his cue to step forward. When he was in front of her, he became still, like a soldier standing at attention. He just stared back at her, waiting to see what she would do or say. But she did the unexpected. She smiled at him, and pulled him into a tight embrace, "Arigato, Inuyasha! Arigato!"

Inuyasha didn't make any movements, but as soon as Kagome hugged her mother from behind, he gave in. He wrapped his arms around them both and let his body finally relax. Thank God, she wasn't angry. He could feel the woman's tears through the gi, which disturbed him a little. But the smile on her face was big and beautiful.

As soon as the embrace had ended, Mrs. Higurashi was dragging them both through the front door, not minding about shoes or keeping the snow outside. She called out, "Souta! Grampa! Come quickly!"

"Mama! What is it?"

"Come down now, son! Bring your grandfather!" She called, still clutching onto the two new arrivals with a big grin.

"Nee-chan!" the little boy cried out.

"Souta!"

As little boy and grandparent entered the room, Kagome made a rush towards them and embraced them both. Souta leapt up into her arms as Kagome held him up slightly off the ground. She then hugged her grandfather tightly, as the old man's face suddenly bloomed with tears.

"Inuyasha-ni-chan!"

As soon as Souta realized his hero was also in the room, he dashed past the kitchen table and gave him a big bear hug, pushing his cheek into the hanyou's stomach. Laughter erupted as Inuyasha's cheeks flushed.

Never was there a more beautiful sight to be seen. Embrace after embrace after embrace followed tear after tear after tear. The indiscernible questions were met with no answers on this day. Those who heard them did not have the strength to answer them. Though seemingly impossible, the fact that things were left unsaid couldn't have mattered any less. Through their eyes and their arms, they filled each other with new life. And new laughter embedded into the walls of the house, and in every memory of every person standing in that simple Tokyo kitchen. Laughter, tears, and the feel of an unbreakable bond.

_To my left is Home._

_To my right is Heart._

_They make up the world._

_If I keep going left, I round back to Heart._

_If I keep going right, I round back to Home. _

_Even if in different times and places,_

_Home and Heart are on the same plane. _

To be continued…

**I guess you could say that being so far away from home makes me a little emotional on the subject. I hope it worked for you. The poem at the end is my own, coming I think from both my love for this new world and my love for my past. Perfect timing for me to be writing about family, when I am so far away from mine. I had the main theme of Inuyasha stuck in my head while writing this. You know, the really pretty ones, but really dramatic. With violins and trombones and pianos… ooooh, sounds nice. Think about that song and read over that last scene, I think it makes all the difference.**

**I am really really loving Spain, though it's still kinda hard without any real friends nearby. I know a lot of people, but not very closely yet. I am currently in Cadiz, which is very beautiful and fun. The beach here is very beautiful, but unfortunately I can't seem to leave it when I schedule to. I came home yesterday with a deep deep sunburn. I can barely move today. Using Spanish here is very hard, especially because of the Andaluz dialect. They leave off a lot of syllables. Anyways, can't think of much else to say on the matter, but perhaps next time I'll have more exciting stuff to talk about. **

**Please review! I miss human interaction a lot. **


	29. Ch 29: Kagome's Feelings

Chapter 29: Kagome's Feelings

_The helplessness was bound to drive her mad. While her eyes scanned everywhere, it seemed she had been blinded. There was nothing but empty darkness. Her skin didn't feel any air, nor did her feet feel the ground. No breath entered her lungs. As she tried to scream, she suddenly realized she had forgotten how to. The only thing left to her was her hearing, and the loud thump of her rapid heartbeat and the erratic exhales made her sick. From the sounds alone, her body began to slightly convulse. She didn't want to feel her body this way. It was so unnatural. She wanted to clutch her heart, find someway to calm it, but her limbs only shook. And so with only the nauseating processes of her body to accompany her, she lay like a writhing corpse, not an ounce of control over her mind. And from her mind, _his_ face lingered over her, smirking as though he had won himself a kingdom. And as lightning flashed all around her, the evil stare was replaced with a distraught pair of eyes, capturing her attention and making her chest ache. The fear she felt was mirrored in his gaze, and she fell away from it all as his scream echoed, "Kagome!"_

Her eyes opened. The light that penetrated her room through the window at her right she suddenly welcomed. How often she had hated the light for waking her. After that dream, she only wanted to embrace the light, the warmth. The loudness of her heartbeat was still there and very real, and she still felt slightly ill from feeling it so acutely.

She started, and then calmed a moment later. The hanyou Inuyasha was sleeping beside her. He had fallen asleep on her bed accidentally the other day, and didn't wake up afterwards. Refusing to be anywhere else but in her comfortable and well-missed bed, she had climbed over him and settled beside him. Unlucky for her, the hanyou also moved a lot. By morning, he had spread himself out over most of the bed, leaving her crushed against the wall. Kagome let out a puff of air, blowing up the hair dangling in front of her face. A little annoyed that he had pretty much claimed her bed all for himself, she shuffled her way over him without causing him to stir.

But her eyes softened as she looked back at him. The only times she ever had a chance to watch him sleep was in her own time. It had taken so long for her to see it the first time. Perhaps he knew that he could relax more here. There weren't any youkai to chase down, and he didn't have to worry about anything attacking him. She loved that he felt so at peace here, so much she would forgive him for taking up so much space on her bed.

The window beckoned her to come closer. As she stepped into the sunlight, she finally felt the panicky feeling disintegrating. The hot sun lapped at her skin gently. Only during the winter would something like this feel so welcome. She gazed out the window. The backyard she grew up in was there just like she remembered. A soft smile fell over her as she recalled her childhood, all leading up to that day she fell down the well.

'I'm really back home. It's been a little over two weeks… but I still can't grasp that I'm really here.'

She glanced once more at the hanyou, 'He really has done so much for me. I wouldn't have loved him any less if he hadn't done this, and he still wanted to do it.' She smiled, 'Even if he belittles himself so much inside, it amazes me so much that I'm the one he really wants… Now that I think about it, I don't think there's a thing I can do to repay him for what he's done for me. Course… from his perspective, I suppose a whole lot of ramen would make us even.'

When they had come back, her family had celebrated with oden for Kagome and ramen for Inuyasha. The childlike joy on his face when he ate it was enough to draw giggles from her. And she had a feeling that even Inuyasha couldn't help but be relieved to see her family again. They had welcomed him back with just as much love as they did Kagome. Kagome had been on the brink of sobs as she watched her mother embrace Inuyasha once again and tell him that Kagome wasn't the only one that was missed around here. They wanted him too. They really did. Though he had already stolen her heart, the fact that he had in essence become a member of the family made the bond between them all the more powerful.

She reached for the hairbrush on her nightstand, but stopped as she felt a small strain in her forearm. For the first time, she became aware of the cast she had been sporting since she got home. Her mother had taken her to the hospital. Luckily, it wasn't broken, only slightly fractured. By the end of this week, she would be able to take it off. But Kagome's thoughts weren't so positive as she saw the evidence of her injury. The first thing she recalled was the pain she felt both in her arm and in her heart as the man she thought had been Inuyasha slashed into her. The second was that dream, ending with Inuyasha's heartbroken face.

As she went on brushing her hair, the happy thoughts of being home with her family vanished. 'Inuyasha told me his name. What was it? _Kokuei?_'

She recalled the dream, 'I've had the same dream for so many nights now. But this one was a little different… the real Inuyasha wasn't there before.'

The heartbroken look on his face was etched into the forefront of her thoughts. Perhaps she deserved the retribution, but the weakest part of her wanted to fall to her knees and beg for mercy. She could never consider herself a coward, but if there was a way for her to escape these thoughts, her own mind… well, she doubted she would hesitate. No matter how big a heart she had, she would have run and left all else for dead.

Even if it was in her mind, she wanted to scream at him not to look at her. His big, quivering eyes practically condemned her for his murder, and she didn't even draw a drop of blood.

'We were lucky to get out alive, and relatively unharmed. No one has died, no permanent damage done… So why can't I let these feelings go?'

It didn't matter that she was meant to be fooled. It didn't matter that Kokuei looked exactly like Inuyasha. For some incomprehensible reason, no excuse no matter how valid felt good enough. She felt as if she had betrayed him. After she had met him, how many times did she relive the tragedy of Kikyo and Inuyasha in her thoughts? How many times had she seen the pure hatred on Inuyasha's face at the mention of Naraku's name? How many times had she wanted to shake some sense into Inuyasha, tell him that Kikyo's death was not his fault, that it was all Naraku, that Naraku tricked her by making himself look exactly like the hanyou she loved? If Naraku could do such a thing, who was Kagome to say that no one else could? Weren't there other jealous men out there just as capable of selling their souls for such power? And yet, only if Naraku was still alive would she have instantly known that it was all a trick.

She couldn't help but hate herself, despite being completely innocent. Hell, she wanted to tell herself that it wasn't her fault at all, but the mere thought of it made her feel like she wasn't taking responsibility for anything. She had to be at least partially responsible for the fact that everyone had turned on each other, and that their lives had been in danger. It was for her sake, no matter how rash it was, that Inuyasha ran away to track down the jewel shards. Because she had been fooled by this imposter, she had lost faith in the one she loves. Because they feared for her safety, her friends were forced to fight him, despite the powerful friendships connecting them all. She had nearly died at Kokuei's hands, and would have a second later had not Inuyasha come and rescued her yet again. Whether innocent or not, she was the center, the eye of all these bad happenings.

She loved Inuyasha more than anything or anyone. She thought that she had trusted him too, with everything in her. But that awful encounter had proven her wrong. She believed he had been using her, that his feelings for her were all a lie. She thought he had meant to kill her. The happy relief of being reunited with him was bitterly replaced by the feeling that she shouldn't be with him, that she didn't deserve it.

Inuyasha's eyes fluttered open. The first thing he felt was the softness of the bed, then the scent of Kagome's room, then the warmth of sunlight that heated the place. After many many hours of sleep, his mind was groggy. In this past week, he had slept more hours than ever before in his life. With the hustle and bustle of the others, his presence went more or less unnoticed. Even Kagome, to his annoyance, would leave as he slept to go see her long-missed friends. He was always a little ticked off to wake up without her nearby, but she always came back shortly, safe and sound.

Speaking of which, he next registered that Kagome was not lying next to him, though he knew he felt her with him the night before. The annoyance set in quickly, but as his senses finally adjusted, he felt her closeness. He flopped his head over and caught sight of her staring out the window. Her face was hidden from his view, but as she ran the brush through her midnight strands, he became absolved in the little patches of reflecting light. Her hair flowed like water, and danced in the sunbeams like little waves out at sea.

He smiled a little. He didn't know if it was out of pride or if it was just the comfort of being close to her, but his life suddenly felt so wonderful. He hadn't known that there had been so much love in his heart, so much to give. Kagome was the only one he felt like showering with his love, and somehow, the love he gave her never ran dry. Somehow, everyday, his heart created more things to love about her. Just when he thought there were enough reasons, there was that way she scratched her head, or the way she put on her shoes, or how she bit the inside of her cheek when she was thinking.

But what he especially loved was how she turned to him when he called to her. Yearning to experience it again, he gave the word, "Kagome?"

She did turn, her beautiful hair flowing back to reveal her face. But Inuyasha felt something inside him screech to a halt. For a fleeting moment, not even a second, her eyes were distant, lonely, burdened. By the time her face had focused on his, she wouldn't have known that he had been smiling a little before. Now, his look was blank. And no matter how beautiful she looked as she smiled his way, his mind was stuck in what he had seen.

"Hi there," she said, "I was wondering when you would finally wake up."

He didn't answer nor move. She didn't notice. "I really should be angry with you, you know. You practically took up the whole bed. Just be thankful that it didn't wake me up during the night, or I really would have been angry."

The Kagome spark was back. He blinked once, pushing himself back into the real world. She was probably expected a response. "Keh! There was nothing stopping you from kicking me off of it."

"Oh, like you really would have been okay with that."

"Never stopped you before."

"Yeah yeah," she rolled her eyes, "So were you planning to just sleep all day, or is it too much for me to hope that I can still leave the house without you trying to stop me?"

He rested against the pillow as Kagome started putting things into her purse, wondering momentarily if that look before was due to how irritable he was when she left without him. "Not like you'll let me follow you."

"You know it has nothing to do with that. It's easy for me to just give you a hat and take away your sword when someone comes to the shrine or when we're out for a brief moment. But it's a whole different story when confronted with multiple people focusing in on your hair and clothes all day long. We can't risk that."

"So you say…" he said softly.

"Don't worry, Inuyasha. It's not like I'm keeping you prisoner. I just want to be careful. You know how much I worry."

'And I worry… about you.'

"Hey. What's up?" He asked as he sat up.

She turned towards him again. For a moment, there was a hint of something uncomfortable, maybe even a bit of fear, but she smiled sweetly and looked at him curiously, "Nothing. Why do you ask?"

"… Nothing."

If Kagome wasn't enough to confuse him this morning, he felt estranged even by himself. Any other day, he would have pressured her for answers until she caved. He didn't know why he kept silent. Something about those eyes… the greater part of him wanted just to take her into his arms and tell her he would fix whatever it was. However, all those other times she had been upset, it didn't just disappear, not like this. Perhaps it was all in his imagination.

She pulled a few clothes off her desk and grabbed her purse. "I'll be back in a while. Don't worry. I won't be gone long this time."

As she took a step towards the door, Inuyasha followed his instinct. His hand shot out and grabbed hold of hers. She looked back at him a little confused. He pulled her back onto the bed, she landed on her knees, and he reached up to give her an innocent, but full kiss. It was short, too short. When they parted and opened their eyes, their cheeks blushed with embarrassment, probably became it was so spontaneous. As she shifted her eyes away from his and glanced down towards his shoulder, he kept watching her, hoping that he would be satisfied that everything was alright. But all it did was heighten his fears. Once again, the far-off look was cast over her. It hadn't been in his head! Only this time, he felt like it was something he knew very well. He had never seen her look like that before. Where had he seen it before?

Her smile lit up, but the sadness in her face did not disperse. Still, she thanked him, kissed him again for goodbye, and left him there. He stared after her as she shut the door. It only took about ten seconds for him to suddenly jump up and chase after her. When he saw her, she was just walking out the door.

"Kagome?"

She turned, that special way. The way he remembered. Sunlight fell around her and illuminated her outline. She was so beautiful. He gulped.

"Inuyasha?"

"… Is everything okay? You seem… stressed or something."

"… I'm fine… I've just been running around doing a lot of things this week. I guess I am a little stressed."

He was silent. He looked over her, as though trying to decipher whether or not she was telling the truth. When he gave a satisfied nod, her insides relaxed.

She started backing away slowly, trying to look casual. Actually, she looked like one of those fidgety boys from a movie after they had gotten their first kiss, all nervous and a little shaken, "I'll be back soon… I promise…"

Again, he nodded.

When she disappeared down the shrine steps, he sighed, 'Something doesn't feel right.'

To be continued…

**Aaaaah… No me gusta… No me gusta… English no speaking… How me got out chapter whole with the English?... Always Spanish… Never English… only here… Is my grammar failing yet?**

**Os quiero, guapos y guapas! Dejadme un mensaje! (I love you all, darlings! Leave me a review!)**

**In case you were wonderful, Spain is going very well indeed…**


	30. Ch 30: SelfHatred

Chapter 30: Self-Hatred

As the week progressed, things only got worse for Inuyasha and Kagome. Being cooped up in Kagome's house, being abandoned for a while so she could go out with her friends, he could deal with that… mostly. Hell, he could even tolerate that brat brother of hers who didn't understand the concept of 'no'. But his patience was running thin on Kagome's attitude. After he had woken up to see that weird look on her the first time, he had asked her what was wrong multiple times. At first, she kind of enjoyed the sentiment, but after about… four times in one sitting… her reaction had changed from sweet into bitter annoyance. Inuyasha, in turn, grew more and more irritated with her. Worst of all, they had yet to just come out and say what they were thinking. Kagome, because something in her was bound and determined to let the guilt eat her up inside, and Inuyasha, just because he had no idea what the hell to think.

If that weren't enough, Kagome had put on about ten pounds since their arrival, which brought on a whole new wave of emotional drama in the Higurashi household. The family might have looked back on one particular day with giggles, but Inuyasha would remember it as the day he began to understand how confusing women are.

_She sighed, yet again, staring at her stomach and rubbing it mournfully. Tears glistened in her eyes. 'Ten pounds… How could I have let it get this far?' She pressed her fingers into her belly, smushing up the fat that was there. She had only just stepped on the scale to find that she had gained weight. Due to all the stress she was putting on herself, she had eaten a lot more, and when she went out, she didn't spare any expense to get something deep fried or chocolaty, and now she paid the price. _

'_I never noticed…' she sighed again, 'Inuyasha must have noticed. Inuyasha notices everything. He must think I'm such a heifer.'_

_After sigh after sigh and moan after moan Inuyasha finally caved. Inuyasha never grew up around women, and he certainly never got close enough to one to know how to handle these weird moods of theirs. Therefore, in his curiosity, he didn't think twice about crouching down in front of her and blatantly staring straight as her stomach. He didn't say a word, only stared on, trying to see what she was looking at. Kagome's eyes went wide when she noticed him and pushed him away with a yell. He fell on his behind and looked up at her aghast as she tried to cover her stomach with her arms. She exclaimed, "What the hell were you doing, you weirdo?"_

"I'm _the weirdo? _I'm _not the one staring at my stomach for over an hour. What the hell is so fascinating anyway?" He huffed._

"_I'm not fascinated!" She yelled, then lowered her voice sadly as she rubbed her stomach again, "I've gotten fat."_

"_Pardon? You've what?"_

_She got off the bed with an aggravated look on her face. He obviously wasn't taking her seriously. "Well I ain't exactly there yet, but I will be soon by the looks of it."_

_He followed her… his second mistake. "And how exactly are you 'getting there'?"_

"_In case you haven't noticed," she exclaimed as her arms wrapped around her stomach, "I've gained ten pounds."_

"_Yeah. So…"_

_Her face dropped. It very nearly dropped. Mistake number 3._

"_So you _have _noticed?"_

"_Yeah… But that don't matter. I don't care if you put on a few pounds."_

_Fourth mistake. Tears spilled over onto her cheeks. "That wasn't the answer I was looking for!"_

_Seconds later, Kagome had locked herself in the bathroom balling her eyes out. Inuyasha pounded on the door repeatedly, "Kagome! Kagome, I demand you come out here right now!"_

"_Go away! I'm too ugly!"_

"_Ugly? Wha… Damnit wench! You know, some people are nothing but skin and bones all their lives. You should be thankful that you've filled out nicely."_

_Her sobs escalated. Fifth. _

Inuyasha sighed. Even if the fight was over shortly after, even if he assured her eventually in his own special way that she was still perfect to him, she wasn't exactly the bright and shining Kagome he knew and loved. He remembered all their old fights, and afterwards, how refreshed they both felt and looked, like a giant lead weight had been lifted off their shoulders. Such peace in both their faces, as if nothing in the world was better than just sitting together and enjoying friendly company.

He sat in one of the lower branches of Goshinboku, which wasn't very low at all. He sat cross-legged with his hands inside his sleeves, staring off into the far-reaching city of Tokyo, the place that used to be his to roam but which was now closed off to him by his own girlfriend. Even though he knew she had good reasoning behind it, the idea that this place wasn't really his forest anymore was more than a little hard to except.

He turned his face away from the bustling city and peered at the sunlight-drenched leaves. Spring was fast arriving. Goshinboku was always rich with the changes of the season. Inuyasha often came here to think, especially in Kagome's era when he had the time to. But despite the fact that he had been up here for a few hours didn't help him figure out what to do.

'She still looks like that. More so now than before.'

His eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought. Despite how impossibly annoying she was, no matter how much he just wanted to shake her out of this insanity, above all he wanted nothing more than to help her. Since a week ago, that haunting look had come and gone more and more frequently. Often without him even saying a word… without _anything _happening whatsoever. He was determined to find the cause of her stress. He knew he had seen that look somewhere before, but where? And what did it mean?

There was a logical side to him, believe it or not. And it told him that it would be foolish to think that he could erase all sadness from her life. Yet, the more idealist part of him shouted that she could be if he tried hard enough. It wasn't him, was it? She still let him kiss her. She hadn't said 'osuwari' this whole time. And when she was mad at him, he would definitely know it. She made it her business to let him know. Her family and friends were all well. Everyone was happy to have her back. What could she possibly have to be sad about?

"Inuyasha!"

He turned his head towards the call. "Huh?" 'Kagome's mother?'

When he caught sight of her, she was standing at the foot of the tree. "Could you come down here for a moment?"

He landed on the ground gracefully, a feat that still had the woman delightfully surprised. Though by the look on his face, she guessed that it wasn't so amazing in his opinion. "Would it be too much trouble to ask you to watch the shrine? Everyone is gone and I need to go pick up Souta and his friends."

"Where's Kagome?"

"She's just getting ready to bathe, and I know you're not doing anything, so I thought I'd ask you instead. It won't take that long. I'll just get them and come straight back. Do you think you can handle it?"

Having no experience, his first instinct was to refuse, but after she unknowingly turned it into a challenge… well, he had to accept. "Keh! Whatever."

"Thanks. I won't be long."

With a warm motherly smile and a wave, she hitched up her purse to her shoulder and started towards the shrine steps. In a few moments, she was out of sight.

A few moments later, Inuyasha realized he would need that bandana to put over his head if people came by and he was left in charge. As he walked back towards the house, it never occurred to him that he didn't remember anything about the history of this place, no matter how many times that old man tried to tell him. Mostly, he just told him about the religion itself, which Inuyasha had no interest in at all. However, being from 500 years in the past, he assumed he could just as easily recall what he had seen everyday to the visitors. Seemed like a reasonable idea, as long as he left that tiny detail out that he was part demon.

As he ascended the staircase, he could hear the loud noises of running water as the bathtub was being filled. Once he reached the top, he noticed that the door had been left open, and steam was lightly spewing from inside. Even he could feel the heat of the air from where he stood. He stood there for a moment, pondering why a woman would leave the door opened when she bathed. Just then, Kagome emerged from her room, wrapped only in a cream-colored towel, some therapeutic candles in her arms.

Inuyasha froze. He didn't even breathe. In just a tiny towel, hair sopping wet… well he couldn't be in a more appropriate situation for a sitting. A second later, when her eyes caught him, his ears twitched once, dreading the pain that was sure to come. But she didn't say the word. Her lips parted a little, out of shock, but she didn't utter a thing, and then her lips closed again.

Like an electric shock, his emotions suddenly changed from fear to wonderment. Her still lips were full and pink. Tendrils of wet hair lay plastered to her cheeks. Her skin was already wet. She must have just gotten out of the tub to get something for a second, and that was all he needed to catch her body just barely hidden by a towel, as steam rolled past her like fog on the horizon. Her eyes were panicked. She was nervous. She was still like a prey watching their predator, hoping that maybe if she didn't move, he wouldn't see her. He gulped. If anything, it felt like he was her prey. The color of her skin seemed to leap out at him. He knew all too well the taste of her skin, and hated that the memory dominated his thoughts, making him crave it, making his mouth water. Her wet hair was wild, seemingly trying to rule the rest of her. Little droplets of water fell from the ends, landing on her shoulders, rolling down her collar. He felt the strange need to tell her she was beautiful, but by the time he thought he might be able to, she had disappeared into the bathroom, her weak smile and that disturbing look in her eyes hitting him just as the door closed behind her.

The sound of the lock being set in place drove him out of his empty-headed trance. With a blink of his amber eyes, the magic had left. The air was cold again, the steam trapped on the other side of the door. Still, the space between them suddenly seemed so cruel. The wall that kept her from his sight and touch seemed cruel. He itched to be closer. The physical need to be with her matched the emotional need to solve the ache in her eyes. It was a primal need, a contrasting need to both possess her and cherish her. Yet the two feelings running alongside each other in his veins were just as natural as any other feeling.

He forgot why he had come inside as he walked past the door, and so not a single thing stopped him from halting and staring at it. Had anyone seen him like this, they would have thought him mad. His eyes were blank, slightly hazy. His senses clouded his mind to anything else but thoughts of Kagome. What was this need to go to her? Didn't he have any sense? One hand rested over the doorknob, the other pressed against the opposite frame. He knew it was locked. He never bothered turning it. Still, he remained pressed against the door, silently cowering from the need he had to kiss her… right now… without delay…

He rested his body against the door, placed his cheek against the wood and breathed regularly. Maybe… she would come out again?

He heard her breathing, and it probably would have enticed him all the more if it didn't sound like she was crying. It was ever so quiet, but the quick rushes of air didn't lie.

He backed away from the door, feeling as though someone had slapped him across the face. In his drunk-like stupor, he hadn't expected to have _that _come crashing down on him. Stumbling a few feet down the hallway, he put a hand on the top of the stair railing to secure himself. His face slightly contorted. He shook his head lightly. If only he could deny his own sense of hearing. 'Crying?' he thought, 'My God, there _is _something wrong.'

Granted, he knew all along that something had been wrong. It was just that her tears made it so much more real. A part of him believed that if he could have solved it, it would have been over before it started. 'Kagome…'

His entire face seemed to fall. His ears, his eyes, his chin. She didn't want to tell him why she was so sad, and that's what hurt most of all. Hadn't he always saved her when she was in trouble? Hadn't he gone the extra mile to stop her tears? Hadn't he risked his life to bring her back to her family? And still, she had so little faith in him that she didn't want to rely on him for help, even comfort?

The staircase creaked under his feet as he descended. Buyo brushed against his leg at the bottom, but Inuyasha didn't notice him. When he got outside, the hanyou didn't go back to the tree. Instead, he sat on the edge of the porch, staring absentmindedly at the wide pale of water before him. He listened to the sounds of dripping occurring every few seconds as water met with water. With every ripple, Inuyasha's reflection squirmed. He too, didn't feel so at ease.

Of all the places his thoughts could go, he only settled on one thing. 'What did I do wrong?'

Perhaps this is why he never chose to fall in love. Though he had thoroughly convinced himself that no one could move him, she did. She inspired him to do things beyond what he expected of himself. She made him feel like he was worth knowing. She made him feel like he could hide away from everything that hated him, and also made him feel like he could fight to the death against the very same things. She made him believe, made him truly believe, that he was blessed to be alive. Who could deny that he was changed for the better? If he believed, wasn't he changed for the better? Even if she hadn't fallen for him, if she had looked straight through to his soul just once, he would have known that she had really seen him, that he wasn't invisible, wasn't nothing. She was the only one that made him want to be noticed. Problem was… it wasn't like he could return the favor.

He couldn't possibly inspire her, when he was the one always screwing everything up. He didn't make her any stronger, he just shielded her. No matter how sad it made her, he would take off after Kikyo so many times, and afterwards, refused to look at Kagome at all. He wasn't even really sorry for leaving her behind, because as long as no one got hurt, then in his mind, she shouldn't have cared. But she did get hurt. It had only taken him forever to realize just how much. He put darkness into her pure heart, making her doubt his loyalty to her, making her believe that he would never want her. She had felt unwanted, because of him. Did she feel as loved as he did? Did she feel blessed to be alive? Could she possibly think that he had changed her for the better?

Inuyasha tried to chastise himself. 'Keh! What else can I do? I've brought her back to her family. What else do I have to do?'

He didn't know anymore. He thought that this would be enough. It wasn't enough, not anymore. If it wasn't for her, then it wasn't for him either. Any other man would know the answer. But Inuyasha was so clueless, he couldn't possibly know what would be enough. He knew nothing about women. He didn't know half the time why Kagome cried so much. He didn't have the experience to know how to handle these things. And Kagome deserved better.

'Maybe… I've failed her?' He thought sadly.

A light breeze jostled his hair. If it was agreeing with him or disagreeing, he couldn't tell. His bangs covered his eyes. 'She deserves better than someone as hopeless as me. What good am I if I can't even help her? What good am I if she can't trust me? I don't deserve her trust after all the times I've deserted her. She probably assumes that I'll take off again without telling her anything. She probably thinks that I don't care about how much it hurts her… and I can't blame her.'

Wallowing in self-hatred never helped him before, but it didn't stop him from taking in every flaw. He stared at his reflection in the water. Time after time, he had wondered why he couldn't just look like everybody else. All that stuff his mother told him about how being different made him special… How could she understand? He never wanted to be special. He never even wanted to be admired. Most of the time, all he wanted was to be able to disappear into a crowd of people. He wanted no one to ever be able to pick him out amongst others. Sure, he wouldn't be "special", but at least he wouldn't doubt that he belonged. Even if he was just an insignificant speck on the world, he could never be singled out. Inuyasha looked at his white hair, the first thing most people noticed was different about him. It was always that color that seemed to catch people's attention. Unfortunately, it only intrigued them to look harder. His ears, like some kind of wild animal. This was usually what they noticed next. The way they swiveled every which way was repulsing. In their shoes, was he animal or man? Would they dare get close enough to find out? Curiosity always led them further. And as he would try to cower from them, his hands would come into view. As Inuyasha looked at them through the water, they were just as intimidating as they always were. As a child, he never thought them to be so terrible. But those who got close enough could tell in an instant how sharp they were, and they usually ended up seeing just how much damage could be done with them. Lastly, his eyes. Who else had golden eyes? Unlike his other hanyou features, this trait was the one thing that everyone thought was… dazzling… about him. Of course, he didn't have an opinion about it, but everyone always told him how hard his gaze used to be, and how after Kagome came into his life, his eyes became more and more gentle. And still, these so called beautiful eyes could bleed into red, strike terror into the hearts of men as he viciously cut them open.

He looked away. Looking at his eyes was making him remember ugly things.

But as he did, a little light went off in his head. He stilled. Not even knowing what had caused the rupture, he turned his face back towards the water. For a moment, he stared back at the water, unmoving, not even really thinking. Then, he suddenly crouched closer to the pail, concentrating on his reflection with amazing attention.

Focusing on his reflection did not suddenly trigger the final thought in his mind. As he stared, all it did was give him time to slowly pull the pieces together. As though he was hard-pressed not to believe it, the feeling inside him had to fight to make itself known. Had he ever really looked at himself before? How many times had he turned away from what he looked like? Perhaps if he had taken the time, he would have recognized _that._

His breathing came to a sudden halt, though his mind was still frantic. And in the midst of the panic, he tried to recall himself… and he did… 'I… was thinking about how worthless I am! And… I know I saw it!'

The hands that had gripped the edge of the pail suddenly pulled away, as though repelled by the object. The hanyou came to his feet, staring with mouth agape at the sloshing water spilling over due to the force he had caused. 'That look… the same one as Kagome…'

He looked up, his eyes found Goshinboku as the branches blew in the breeze. The world around him was calm and he felt like something was caving in on him. Only one last thing to strike the final blow, '… Kagome… hates herself…'

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Kagome's body felt too relaxed to continue crying. She didn't know if it was because she was out of strength to do so or because the warm bath was so comforting. All she felt was emptiness. If her body didn't feel like she needed the warm bath so much, she would have resided to let herself release more pain with more cries. Her spirit seemed to crave in, like it had been run dry of any emotion at all, like it only had pain to cling to. Wasn't there any happiness left for it to take? How she hated feeling this way, feeling like she had to suffer.

The darkness in her shrouded even the memory of her friends. She knew what they would say to her, and she knew that they were right. She knew that she had so much to be grateful for! She wasn't blind! But that didn't change the fact that she didn't feel deserving. Suddenly, it felt like they were judging her, in her own mind. They just didn't understand! If they had been in her place, they would have known that she didn't deserve all these great things in her life. She didn't deserve her friends or Inuyasha.

Inuyasha… Just as he meant the world to her, so did everything she felt come back to him. Perhaps if she wasn't so stubborn, like she knew she was, she would have leapt into his arms and let him dry her tears. But no… she couldn't make him pity her. The last thing she wanted was pity, especially from him. What she wanted now was to be someone who didn't need to cry on his shoulder for affection, someone who couldn't let him down ever, someone smarter, someone stronger… someone like Kikyo.

Kagome pulled her knees into her chest, laying her chin on top, yelling in her mind over and over again that she should be happy. But they were all empty screams. No matter the reason, she felt she couldn't be happy. And at the same time she fell deeper and deeper into it, she also loathed this depression. If only she could make herself believe that she was worth something. If only she had someone she could talk to. But what doctor could she find, when she would need to confess that she had traveled back 500 years?

'I just want to disappear… just for now. I don't want to remember how much I hate myself right now. I just want to be like I always was. Why did I have to change? Why did I have to bring this upon myself?'

She dipped her head, pressed her eyes into her knees. Maybe if she could block out the world, it could fade away like she wanted, just for a few minutes. If that could happen, then maybe she could grasp some fragment of happiness and save it for later. Maybe if she could remember something good… something she was a part of, even the smallest thing, that was without guilt or regret. Perhaps it was hidden out there somewhere. Perhaps she had forgotten what it looked like.

While she tried in vain to find it, that very reason came barging through the door, breaking off the edge of the door and tearing the outer frame. The door crashed loudly on the opposite wall, and Kagome cringed. She didn't need to look up. Even as a human, she could feel the anger practically erupting from him. Something powerful, like a shift in the air, could be felt even though the strong steam. The miko side of her could have recognized it as a youkai aura, dominating and threatening. As it was, she didn't bother to think that. Her eyes had caught his. The maliciousness of his gaze had trapped her, if just for a moment, piercing her through with his determination.

He came forward, dropped to his knees before her, and gripped the edge of the tub. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

It didn't occur to Inuyasha that she was completely naked in that water, nor did it occur to Kagome that she was completely naked in front of Inuyasha. Instantly, her mind shied away from the furious attention. She tore her eyes away from his and stared blankly at the wall. Inuyasha's nails were close to breaking as he pressed his hands into the porcelain. He didn't care. If she was going to be so damn stupid, then he would just have to force her to cooperate. He would be damned if he tiptoed around this issue any longer. If Kagome hated herself, he had to know why, and he had to set her straight.

"You won't ignore me any longer! I asked what is wrong and you're going to damn well tell me!"

"Please… Just go away," she whispered.

"No! I'm not leaving until we've fixed this!"

"Please…"

"Why? So you can continue with this stupidity?" he exclaimed, "Damnit, wench! You have no reason to feel this way!"

She put her eyes against her knees again and squeezed them shut as tight as she could, "You wouldn't understand!"

"The fuck I don't! If I don't understand then who will?"

"Just leave me alone!" She said, her voice becoming a pained yell.

"I SAID I'M NOT FUCKING LEAVING!"

She cringed at his words. He came closer to her face, as though doing so would make it easier for her to believe him. "Don't you understand," his voice came back, softer now, but still gruff, "I see the same thing in you that I saw in myself all those years ago… I'm not about to turn away so you can fall down the same path I did… You're too good for that, Kagome!"

"Lies!"

"Why? Why would I lie to you? You think I make this shit up?"

"You don't understand how worthless I am!"

"Bullshit!"

She turned her head to face him, a sort of anger behind her gaze. She knew what he was trying to do, and for some reason, something inside her didn't like it at all. "So you _do _know how worthless I am?"

"Don't be stupid! You ain't never been worthless, so don't be so overly dramatic!"

"Overly dramatic?" Kagome shouted. She sat upright, threw her hands into her hair and shook her head a few times in a display of disbelief. She gestured at him defeatedly with palms faced upwards, and yelled, "For God's sakes, Inuyasha, use your head! Why don't you just leave! Leave and never come back here again!"

He noted the small pang of upset deep within his chest. Still, he couldn't back down. "No," he said calmly.

"Why? Why would you want to stay with me? What do I have to offer you?" She shouted.

The hanyou didn't think he had the words to express why he chose to stay with her. Even if he couldn't put it into coherent words, that she didn't know it infuriated him all the more. She truly had no idea, and it was crystal clear to him. Frustration brought forth a new-bred feeling of indignity. As though she mocked him by not knowing, he grew more and more enraged. Enraged because the only way he knew how to fight against something this big was by use of his anger. It was as though her darkness were a youkai for him to slay. How he wished it was something physical that he could take down. But it wasn't, and he hadn't a clue how to conquer something this big and so invisible. The only thing he felt he knew was that if he yelled it loud enough, she would have to submit to him… she would have to be happy again, as though he could force such a feeling.

She went on, "Inuyasha… You're everything…" He started. "…You're perfect."

"Kagome…" he said softly, a shocked hitch to his tone.

Fresh tears fell more powerful than ever down her cheeks, "Why would you want me? I'm everything you're not. I'm not strong or brave. I'm not smart. You could have so much better. Why do you want me?"

His heart ached at the sight of her like this, and her words were enough to send him to an early grave. Where these thoughts of hers came from, he did not know. Suddenly, it didn't seem to matter anymore. All that mattered was that she was hurting, and if he didn't do something fast, he would be overwhelmed with frustration. And as was his character, he might turn around and walk away. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't leave her behind. What would that do except prove to her that she could drive him away? He couldn't let her think that he was leaving her behind again. He couldn't let her hide behind her pain. If she did, she would end up just like he did, closed off to everyone and anyone who cared. Maybe… even closed off to him.

He couldn't lose her.

"You're not like me, Kagome. That's right. You _are_ such a weakling. It's almost sickening how pathetic you are. Sometimes I don't think you can do anything in battle. Sometimes you just make things worse. You're always getting in the way of everything I want. You make my life so difficult. And you're definitely the biggest idiot I've ever known."

She bowed her head, grimacing as more tears fell.

Inuyasha went on, "You're such a nuisance, but…… Fuck! You know why! You know why I'm still here!"

She shook her head, staring at her feet through the water. "That's the thing… I really don't, Inuyasha… I have no idea."

"Why, wench! Why don't you know? What the fuck do you want me to say?" 'I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! DAMNIT, I LOVE YOU! Why can't I just say it?'

When she didn't respond, what little self-control he had finally snapped. He grabbed onto both her arms, lifted her from the water to a standing position, and pressed his lips to hers ferociously. Her gasp was silenced when his hand gripped the back of her neck and pushed her mouth fully into his. The hanyou was relentless. Even as her body stilled in shock, he wouldn't give in on her. He kissed her with a force that could bruise them both. If he couldn't get through to her with words, then he had to show her just how deep his devotion ran. He would show her the passion that haunted him every minute of every day. He would show her the frightening pain of needing someone so much it killed little by little. He would show her that despite how weak and bothersome and stupid she was, he couldn't help but love her. He just couldn't help it.

His hands pressed into her back to bring her closer to him, and his fingers relished in the silky wet skin, without Inuyasha even realizing that he was passionately kissing a very naked Kagome. The moisture fell over his fingers, melted through to his blood. It gave the silent message that she was his to touch, his to love, his to mate. He alone could share with her the feel of her skin, of the water and sweat. His nails raked gently down her back, and she shivered, already long gone to his heated offense. The pain left her mind so fast, there was a quick brush with insanity. She lost her mind to him the moment he embraced her. So tightly, any other girl would have been frightened. Even in the midst of her swirling mind, she knew he would never hurt her. He held her close enough to keep her his prisoner and close enough to make her touch the stars. She didn't know anything except that she wanted more, she wanted all of him. She wanted to know everything about him, every joy, every pain, everything that made him want her. Her hands pushed against the opening of his haori and gi, kneading the muscular flesh beneath.

He ran his claws back up her sides, earning him a full-on shiver. He delighted himself in the reaction. She couldn't have known it, but he was just as near to falling apart. Even if she didn't think so, to him she was perfect, flaws and all. A perfect weakling, a perfect nuisance, a perfect idiot, his perfect match. Every mistake that she made didn't hinder his need to always be close to her, to be at least some part of her life. Whatever part of her life she would have let him had, he would have taken it. He would have spent the rest of his life fulfilling her weaknesses, relaxing in her strengths, wanting her more and more. The fact that she loved him too made his soul erupt with pride and marvel. When the taste of her mouth was one with his, it seemed nothing could be more perfect than these two imperfect people making a truly perfect bond.

Their lips parted quickly and with a loud smack. Their chests heaved up and down as the much needed breath invaded their lungs. They didn't move though. Inuyasha still had his arms wrapped tightly around her, his haori had by now fallen to his elbows. Kagome's palms were pressed into the edges of his gi. As he panted for breath, his chin rested against her temple. As she too panted for breath, the hot air ran down his neck.

They didn't pull away from each other for the longest time. Just as they couldn't seem to speak, their minds struggled to form thoughts. A wave of some kind of drowsiness fell over them. They let their eyes fall closed. For who knows how long, they only felt the touch of each other's skin. Kagome could only feel the warmth of Inuyasha's skin, the comforting, soothing warmth. Safe… protected… loved. Inuyasha could only feel the sense of wholeness that came with her touch. How perfectly she seemed to fit into his arms. His heart swelled with contentment at knowing they were meant only for each other.

'Kagome…'

'Inuyasha…'

His eyes slowly opened as he began to fall out of his daze. The amber irises were as thick as honey, happy and full. Until a few moments later, when his senses started coming back to him, and then his eyes froze over with shock as though he had been struck by a bullet.

'She… Oh my God… Oh my God, she's naked!' His mind screamed.

Every instinct inside him screamed to get out the bathroom as quickly as possible. If she didn't do anything to cause any damage then he just might. After all, he was part youkai, and he always thought that humans had better… control… over emotions like this. They could always stop themselves if they wanted, couldn't they? Being half human and half youkai, maybe his body would be torn apart by this. Hell, he was doomed to that fate anyway. As soon as Kagome came to realize it, she would sit him until he broke down the middle.

He didn't move, he wouldn't dare. She was pressed up so tightly against him, and he was suddenly aware of every part that touched him through his clothing. And her hands pressing into his chest were burning holes straight through to his heart, which raced faster and faster every second. He struggled to hold back a groan.

'Don't do anything. Don't touch anything,' he chanted to himself, 'Don't think anything. Don't say anything…' His heart echoed in his ears, 'She'll sit you to the center of the earth.'

"Inuyasha…"

'No… Don't pull away! Stop her!' But he was still too petrified to move. She lifted her head and pulled away just enough to look up at his face.

There was such poetry in her eyes. She looked full of every emotion possible, each one folding into another. He could relate to every piece. He knew the feeling of everything tangling up inside him, to the point where he wouldn't know joy from pain. If he had felt like that so many times, if his eyes had been as vibrant as hers, maybe that was why they said his eyes were beautiful. But he had never seen it in himself. Kagome was nothing like him, and yet was everything about him: his dreams, his fears, his ups and downs, the constant change of a thousand feelings in a blink.

As she looked at him, he knew she could see the fear in his eyes. Her face was already beginning to look puzzled. Despite that, despite how nervous he was, he found himself relaxing in her eyes. She always had that way of making him forget everything but how wonderful she was, even making him forget his own instincts. Would he next forget to eat, sleep, or breathe? Would his own blood stop flowing in his veins? What next would she steal away from him?

And then it happened. He knew it did, the moment she broke her eyes away from him. Her jaw drooped just a little, and he knew the thought had struck her. Her eyes lowered slowly, but then stopped, as though she couldn't bear to check for fear that doing so would make it real. He felt her back tense under his fingers, as he cursed himself yet again for feeling her exposed skin. She looked at her hands inched into his gi. For a moment, she moved her hands. It was like she didn't think the hands were hers. Then, in what must have been a great act of bravery, she looked up at his eyes again.

Now nothing could hide how terrified they both were. They both stood just as they had been for many moments now, waiting for the other to say something, to pull away, to come closer. Each wondered what the other was thinking. Something good? Something bad? Perhaps both?

Something good did happen, to Kagome. She stared at him without really seeing anything, only feeling the fabric of his clothes against her body. But she couldn't ignore the eyes. Even she could read the fear behind him. It wasn't the same kind of fear that haunted his eyes when someone was in danger. He looked like he was about ready to fall apart. He looked like he was lost and confused. He looked like he was forcing himself to keep it all together.

'He's hesitating…' She mused. 'He's holding back… for me…?'

At that moment, something inside her cracked, something inside her seemed to slip away. The darkness gave birth to a sunrise within her heart. A steady climb of light filled her body, and she felt warm. It gave soul and body to the wind. In a few moments time, she felt beauty overcast all the ugly things she saw in herself. Might be she could have expected as such from Inuyasha. Somehow it never seemed to move her like it did now. Her eyes started to shine with new tears. Her face was swollen from crying and her heart was still heavy with sadness, but the new tears were made from the new flicker of light that distracted her. His golden eyes were the sun that had given her the reason she had been looking for all along. Just when she thought she couldn't solve the problem, it was right there in front of her.

Inuyasha watched as her emotions changed from confusion and shock into a full alleviation. Realizing that this was probably his one shot at escaping the pull towards her, he pulls his arms from her body and turned his head away. When he did, she didn't seem to notice that he had. She still looked… oddly happy. His heart was tumbling over and over in his chest. He had to get out.

In a moment, he had made it to the door, and trying as hard as he could he kept his voice steady as he said to her, "Get dressed. I'll be waiting for you outside."

Just like that, he had left. She stared at the open doorway, reliving the look in his eyes over and over again. She pulled a fresh towel from the rack and clutched it to her chest. As tears fell over her cheeks, she finally smiled, really smiled.

'I do mean something,' she sighed dreamily, 'To him, I do. I'm worth waiting for, even if he hates it.'

She let a happy sob escape her and let the happy tears fall.

To be continued…

**Whew! Loooong! I just didn't want a break in this chapter. I would have hated that. So… yeah, took me long enough. I feel so overwhelmed in this new country, and I can barely sit down to type, let alone find internet access. I have my next chapter more or less typed up, so hopefully it'll be out a lot sooner. Please, as always, continue letting me know how I'm doing. It's especially important now when the stress is building and I have no idea how it's reflecting in this story. Take care everyone. **


	31. Ch 31: About a Woman

Chapter 31: About a Woman

If he closed his eyes, if he ignored the smells, if he shut out the harsh sounds, it still felt like he was home. Try as he might, he couldn't begin to guess why Goshinboku felt like home to him. Something about it just seemed fulfilling, as though for a few moments it had the power to grant him peace. He sighed as Goshinboku's familiar warmth wrapped around him. He had been imprisoned to this very tree for fifty long years, a lapse of time that felt only so much shorter, like he had slept deeply for one night and woke up to a changed world. Amazing, that he had fallen into his long slumber with a broken heart, and had awakened to the one person who would turn his heart and his world upside down.

Why was Goshinboku so reassuring? Was it because he had slept there for fifty years? Was it because it was where he first met Kagome? Or was it because it was the one thing that never seemed to change? True, there was a great sense of comfort in knowing that it had stayed the same even after 500 years. His life was bound to it by the arrow, and that same tree carried all the way through to Kagome… her life, her childhood. It had watched over her before he met her, guarding her life before Inuyasha could. It even allowed them to speak to each other, 500 years apart, when all hope felt lost.

He stood facing the tree with his arms crossed, staring at one particular spot. 'I was sitting right there… that day…'

That day Kagome was forced to shoot him, how he refused to run away from her any longer. He couldn't bring himself to abandon her. And as her arrow was released, his last thoughts were of her, of her happy face, of the guilt he knew she would feel. And then all feeling of her was gone. There was only darkness. Then, he had awoken to the welcoming warmth of Goshinboku, feeling somehow that Kagome was right beside him. He felt her, he didn't know how, and he had heard her voice. And he reached out to her with everything he had, with whatever he could. He didn't even know how he could. Even 500 years apart, he could never be without her. Goshinboku understood, perhaps, how much he needed her, and it was only here that the memory of Inuyasha and Kagome remained constant, embedded into this eternal tree.

'I've always known that wherever Kagome is is where I belong,' he came to realize, 'When I'm sitting here, I can still feel her presence. She was always here, in a way… Goshinboku hasn't forgotten what I feel for her even after all this time, and it won't let me forget either.'

No, he could never forget.

In the small house some feet away, a young woman looked out into the world with hesitation saturating her face. Yet despite her fear, she hardened her reserve, gathered the little bit of bravery she had, and stepped outside. The unwelcome wind jostled her still somewhat damp hair and raised goosebumps on her arms. She tried to cover her skin with her hands, only to give up a second later. Her mind searched for only one thing, and she found him looking at the towering tree. The warm sense of well-being was enough to make her forget the cold air as she recalled this place so dear to her heart. Technically, she could say that this is where they had met more than 500 years ago, as though they had known each other a full 500 years. In a way, it felt as though it were true.

He must have heard her thoughts, for he suddenly turned towards her. When his eyes caught hers in the rays of sunlight, she found she couldn't look away. The odd glow about him captured her very soul, as his eyes seemed to glimmer just for her. White hair blooming in the breeze, he became all the more magnificent to her. A beckon of light in the storm that had settled over her. Her frayed imperfections were smoothed over by the gentle compassion that had won him her heart. The doubt, the aching… it could never compare with the overpowering devotion she held only for him, with the tipping of her heart when he looked at her that special way.

'Inuyasha…' she sighed to herself, 'You…'

A knot formed in her throat at the lack of warmth both within and without. Dressed only in thin cotton pajamas, she shivered vigorously, but didn't have enough sense to go get a sweater. As far as she was concerned, touching him again could not wait. She quickly moved down the steps and towards him, but as she got closer, she couldn't but notice the judgmental, critical look about him. His eyes were crossed, his eyes looked stern, his lips were tight. Kagome slowed her pace, stopping just in front of him. She gazed up at him like a disobedient child awaiting some kind of punishment, and then bowed her head as such.

'What can I possibly say to you now?' she thought, 'I don't know what came over me… But the only thing I really need is to have you by my side… If only I could tell you that...'

A lone tear trailed its way across her cheek, lightly touching her nose and falling away just before it hit her lips. Brimming her eyelids were many more unshed tears, some sad, some happy, some just plain confused. In her heart, she knew that he would solve any pain. He always did whatever he could to make things right for her. Never had she realized just how far he was willing to go. Here she had thought she would be the only one to fix a heart, and she had found him navigating through her every dream and fear, pulling all the loose threads back together. Well, the man wasn't so simple. It seemed Inuyasha was just full of wonderful surprises. She wouldn't trade a thing about him.

And when she felt his hand lightly touching her jaw, she found that she wouldn't trade a thing about herself, if only to be the one he wanted, the one he touched, the one he loved. If she loved everything about him, couldn't she also love that he loved her? Couldn't she have faith in everything he thought and felt? If he was sad or hurt, she would do anything for him. If he was happy, her life would be complete.

The gentle curve of his fingers beckoned her face upwards, to the twisting heat of his gaze. A galaxy magnified in every flicker of trapped gold, time collapsed with the shattering paralysis of his touch, heaven awoke in the warmth of his heart, and her mind was clouded to everything but him. She looked to him like one looked to life itself, to hope. If he asked her to, she would follow him anywhere. She would never stop moving if only she could stay close to him. It was a feeling with a force so wanton in her heart, an anchor that held her soul to his, it was a need beyond the bounds of reason, and she didn't care to question it anymore.

She saw as he gulped once, the taut skin of his neck rolling. And as though she would fall apart at any moment, he brushed his thumb over her cheek, wiping away the salty moisture. His hand lingered, many moments longer than needed, hesitating, yearning, wanting.

If he loved her, she would just have to let him love her.

Inuyasha was hard pressed to hold his tongue. And yet her obvious distress leaped out at him and chewed at his deepest insides. All he knew was that to make the pain stop he had to make her stop looking that way. But by the time he wanted to say something, anything to her, the words just wouldn't form. It didn't matter for very long, a moment later she had collapsed against him, pulling him tightly against her, burying her face deep into his chest as more sobs rushed to his ears. Inuyasha's breath hitched in his throat. Had she cried so near to his heart in the hopes that it would hear her call? His heart had understood her long before Inuyasha himself had.

His arms fell around her, tightening her body to his. His hands caressed her back in small circles, trying to ease the pain with the touch he knew she needed. All those times he had been turned away for who he was and who he wasn't, all he felt he needed was for someone to touch him, to embrace him… just once. He would hold onto Kagome forever to keep her from feeling what he had felt. The hanyou pushed his face into her hair, breathing in her scent, misting over her with his hot breath. The saltiness of her tears burned a large hole in his reserve, and he swallowed back a whimper of sadness.

What hurt even more than her upset was the realization that she had been afraid to share her pain with him. Even if they both knew how much he hated to see her cry, he thought she should have known by now that if and when she did, he wanted to be the one to set things right. Even if he was so hard to deal with, even if he wasn't very nurturing sometimes, he wanted to give her reason to smile again, just like she did for him. He wanted her to look to him whenever she didn't feel just right, that even if he didn't seem open, she should tell him everything. He wanted to know everything about her, everything that was on her mind, her fears, her likes, her dislikes, if only he could be that much closer to her, if only he could know how to conquer it all. He inwardly sighed in dismay. If he hadn't been so afraid of falling in love with her, perhaps she wouldn't have had reason to doubt it. Maybe that was why she was too afraid to tell him what was wrong.

"Inuyasha," her cracked voice broke through his thoughts, "I'm… God, I'm so sorry…"

He gulped down the fist-sized lump forming in his throat, and tried to smile as he murmured against her ear, "Keh… What do you have to be sorry for?"

She gave an exhausted sigh, "I don't know… For not saying anything… For turning you away when I needed you."

Hearing her say that she needed him gave him much needed courage. To be necessary to her, the need to be needed, he thrived to leave even the smallest imprint on her heart. "That's not what I meant," he said as he pulled slightly away to look down at her. She didn't meet his gaze, only continued to stare forward into his body as she continued gathering stability. He pressed his forehead into her hair, staring down at her, willing her to pull his thoughts into her mind, "I mean, what made you feel this way? Where did all this come from?"

"Inuyasha…" she whispered, "I just didn't want to let you down."

He made a face, though she could not see it. "Baka… How in the world could you let me down?"

Her hands tightened around his haori, and he could sense that she was trying to draw herself closer to him, to erase the knowledge that she was so scared. He complied to her, pulling her a little closer with his hands, pressing a kiss to her forehead, and all he could do then was wait for her to understand that he was here with her, and he wouldn't let go until she could stand up on her own.

She seemed to get the picture as she pressed her cheek against his heart. Her words were calm, but also sorrowful, "I did, didn't I? It's just… I truly believed that you were trying to kill me, despite everything we've been through, despite everything I know about you."

Inuyasha's eyes grew sad. A time ago, it might not have been so unbelievable a thought.

"I knew you would never hurt me… and yet I was so quick to assume when Kokuei attacked me that it was you. I should have known that it couldn't have been you. I should have realized that any potential enemy could use my weakness for you to their advantage."

'I'm… her weakness?' he thought. "He was _meant _to look like me Kagome… and you're not weak."

She didn't say anything as an inaudible gasp issued from her. At the moment, she felt she couldn't. She couldn't remember a time when he just told her upfront some positive compliment about herself. Sometimes he let it slip out, but it was always on accident, and never direct. Hearing him just saying it in its simplest form made her heart flutter a little.

At her silence, he gently nudged her head up with one hand, forcing her face to face with him. They stood nose to nose, their eyes peering into each other just inches apart. His hand fell back to rest on the back on her head and stroke her hair with his thumb. His soft caress left her feeling weaker; unable to avoid the affection he was willing to give. "Kagome…" he rasped. He had to get this out before he lost his nerve. "I'm not good at saying the things that I feel. Everyone knows that I try to hide away from it, even you. My whole life, I've lived thinking that I could only survive if I didn't know how to be sad, or how to be happy. But you…" He sighed and shut his eyes, color rising to his cheeks, "You've never been afraid of that. You've never tried to run away from the things you felt you couldn't control. You never ran away from me, no matter how many times I hurt you. You never tried to hide from your thoughts and your feelings. As far as my life goes… you've been so much stronger."

A few more tears slid down her cheeks… tears of relief… and he clumsily brushed them away with his fingers. "Do you understand?"

All she could do was numbly nod, as she closed her eyes and reveled in being so close to him, in hearing his comforting words. For someone of his character, Inuyasha sure knew how to turn the tables on her. She was always the one who was reaching out to him, and now, even if for only a while, he was the one to reach out to her. If she had indeed succeeded in opening his heart to the world, maybe this was his way of paying her back. She would never let him falter, nor would he let her.

"I want to tell you something," he said, pulling her back towards the base of Goshinboku.

They sat down on the ground, Inuyasha's back against the trunk and Kagome sat in his lap still tight in his embrace. Her emotions still felt a little unsteady, he could feel, but she was gradually gaining ground. He moved with every breath she took, and he smiled at their closeness.

She loved this… just feeling Inuyasha's arms around her. In a way, he never had to say a word. Somewhere between the warmth of his strong arms and the gentle lullaby of his heartbeat, her heart couldn't recall the pain. He was beautiful to her, and he made her feel beautiful. She felt lucky, gifted, blessed to be his. It was hard to believe that he had lived such a hard life when he made her feel so complete, and it was hard for her to doubt when he didn't doubt.

"We lived in this very same village," he said.

His words snapped her out of her reverie, and she mind skidded as she tried to grasp whatever it was she had missed. "What's that?"

"In this village… our village. She just kept walking, as far as she could carry me, until we ended up here."

A little light flickered inside her. A cautious hope, a birth of wonder, a shock that sent shivers down her arms and legs. She looked up at him, to find his eyes absentmindedly targeted towards the ground somewhere in front of them. The shimmer in his eyes unfolded the core of his thoughts. Something deep, something far away… both warm and cold… a brush of valiant feeling that leaked from his soul and into hers.

'His mother,' she mused, 'He's talking to me about his mother.'

Settling back against him, she tried to hold back the confused joy that thumped repeatedly in her chest. She pushed back the shock of what was happening and listened as best he could, even as inside everything was filling with light.

"I don't remember a day," he went on, "when she didn't smile at me. I know now it was probably for my benefit, because soon even I couldn't ignore how they treated her. They despised her, just about as much as they despised me. And I think… they also pitied her, because she was doomed to a miserable existence."

Kagome frowned. It felt like he knew it, because he gave her arm a reassuring squeeze, "But she did everything she could for me. I think she was somewhat foolish, for trying to hide from me all the horrible facts about the world, and at the same time I'm grateful that she tried. I know… she hated the life I was doomed to have."

She felt his sadness reach out to her and touch her soul. In contrast with the helplessness she had been feeling all week, her body suddenly welled up with a need to defend him, even against his own thoughts, heart burgeoning with the strength she always felt whenever someone threatened Inuyasha's happiness.

"I think she thought about my father a lot, but she didn't talk about him much. Whenever I would ask her, she would only tell me the things that seemed to make her happy. I think that when she thought about him, she tried to think about the good things, and she buried away a lot of her sadness, so that I wouldn't feel burdened." He suddenly felt a knot form in his throat, and every instinct inside him told him to shut up. But he forced down that little voice inside of him, held onto the memory of his mother's smile and tears, soaked in the memory of her warm and gentle voice. All of a sudden, it was like an eternity had past since last he saw his mother, and for once, he didn't care to ignore it. He missed her… Everything about her. Every little thing. "She always looked nice. At least to me, she did. In spite of everything, she never looked worn and tired. Her hair was long and black, and she always kept it straight. When I turned human every month, she would tell me that my messy hair looked even better than hers."

He didn't notice them… the two silent tears trickling down his cheeks… until they fell to Kagome's hair. His breath hitched in his throat. A long awaited realization came to the forefront of his mind… the build-up of pain that had never been released. Kagome's words sprang into his mind, from such a long time ago, _"When was the last time you cried for her?"_

'Has… has it really been so long?'

His hand touched his cheeks, wiping away the small trails of moisture. Kagome, who must have felt the tears through her hair, snuggled in even closer to him, pressed one kiss against his chest where the haori had opened slightly. He laid his chin against her head as his ears furrowed, '_Mother… I'm so sorry… that I haven't honored you.'_

Kagome's calm voice came to him, a fragment of peace on the wind, mending the cracked part of his soul. "And don't forget," she said, "She also taught you how to dance."

A wide smile instantly surfaced on his face, unhindered, unbridled. "Keh… I know _you _won't let me forget it."

Nestled close to his chest, it somehow didn't surprise him when it felt like he was complete with his arms around her. She had filled the void in his fingers, in his body. Knowing that he had survived so long without her was an upsetting thing. Had he known what he had been missing all that time, he might not have been able to survive it. An overwhelming sense that everything was right in the world drew warmth through his veins, contentment in the wake of all his pain, a knowledge that he was meant only for her.

'_I haven't dishonored mother, I think,'_ a voice somewhere in his head chimed in, _'Kagome and me… I think mother would be proud… to see this.'_

Their life was never in vain.

"Inuyasha?" She remarked again, the sense of her a little bit uneasy, "I hate to ask, but… how did she die?"

He didn't try to avoid it, but his mind did grow a little more melancholy. The hanyou sighed deep, and just let his words take him away, simple as they were, "One day, she just got sick. We couldn't go to a doctor or anything. No one would help us. I think… I think it was when I was trying to find someone to help her, anyone to help her, and when every one of them turned away… I think that was when I first starting hating humans. I think it was that day when I started to hate feeling anything."

After a few moments, once she knew he was finished, she pushed herself away, just enough so that she could sit up and turn to face him. Her eyes were deep and full of unshed tears. She kneeled before him, on her knees, as if saying a prayer… perhaps saying a prayer for him. And _she _was his prayer. She was everything that he needed all this time. She was what he had waited for, what he had lived for. She gave him strength that he didn't know existed. Not one of constant fighting and anger, but of contentment, hope, a reason to live on, someone to protect, someone to love. And because of her, he would fight any demon, human, or fear to make the world a better place for them. He'd never let her live in the kind of world he had.

She reached out, touched his face with her fingertips, numbing over the fierce feelings that had come to the forefront of his mind. Memorizing the feel of her… life was now such a beautiful thing. Her happiness made him feel whole, made him feel like living a thousand more lifetimes with her. She couldn't know it, that he didn't need a thing from her, only to know her joy, to create it for her.

Her eyes were quivering, bordering somewhere between confusion, joy, and sadness. She touched him gently, as though making sure he was really there. 'Is this real?' she mused, 'Can he really be this amazing?'

She loved him. There was nothing else left to it. No questions to be asked, no elaboration. As natural as time, as necessary as water, as transcendent as the moon and sun, there couldn't possibly be a single fact more pure or more certain. The devotion left no room for doubt. She would follow him blindly forever, with a smile on her face, a light in her heart. If it wasn't enough that he possessed her life, he still fought against everything, even his own past, to take care of her. She couldn't fathom… couldn't comprehend why or how or what was going through his head. When she continued studying his calm face, she couldn't find the reason. Try as she might, her mind couldn't wrap around the things he had done for her. With her eyes, she pleaded with him to tell her, and when he didn't answer, she was forced to put her question into words. "Why… Why are you telling me this… after all this time…?"

A second passed as he stared blankly at her, seemingly confused by her statement. And in a way he was, startled that it was something she could question. And he took her hand in his, squeezed it gently, peered at her with fiery determination, showed her the color of passion. She held her breath.

"I've never been able to talk about these things… but you make it possible for me. Because you're strong enough that you don't have to hide away." He managed to keep his voice from cracking, "I don't want you to lose that, Kagome. I don't want you to be scared anymore."

Sunlight dappling through her skin, coming from nowhere, adding the familiar comforting glow to her face, Inuyasha knew that he had won over her mind, that the real Kagome was back with him. It was a gift he treasured, as a hanyou, being able to detect the physical change that sprouted from her heightened mood. Something about her was shimmering, practically invisible. Didn't so much see it, didn't so much smell it, didn't so much feel it, as much as he knew it by heart. Something that he couldn't learn over time, but something he had been born with. And he only knew it from her face alone.

Slowly but surely, a sweet smile stretched over her lips. Inuyasha himself let the corners of his lips perk up a little. "I'm… I'm not afraid… Not anymore."

He pressed his face into her hair, hiding his smile and the blush that burned his cheeks. A comfortable silence followed them, as they held each other close and basked in the shade of Goshinboku. Kagome suddenly noticed the sweet chirping of birds, the soft caress of the breeze, the scent of the forest that came off of Inuyasha's haori. She suddenly had the sense that this world was hers, that her world was beautiful, so long as Inuyasha was there to keep reminding her. The way their heartbeats seemed to mesh together in her ears gave her a feeling akin to the flowing water of a stream, to the kiss of sunlight, to the whistle of wind through her hair, and she felt constant, eternal, as her heart conquered all else, even time. Seconds and minutes leaked into a stillness, even as the world continued to turn, as time began its ever-slow wear on their bodies, but the rejuvenation wasn't mistakable. If not in body, in was in her soul that something had been reborn, through Inuyasha. A re-understanding of what it meant to love somebody, that to give up that part of herself, she had to first appreciate herself. She loved him, and so… there must have been something good inside her, something she had to give him.

But Inuyasha's face was not so uplifted with joy. She didn't see from where she was how his relieved smile gently fell into a frown, how the redness remained on his cheeks, how his forehead creased in silent upset. Looking down at the woman in his arms, he couldn't help but be proud of her. Even if he did help her… a little… she always had the strength to bounce back, so long as he gave her a gentle push in the right direction. Sometimes, not even having to do that. If he had to pinpoint just one thing that made him want her, he knew it had to be how her smile, her happiness, captured him. The infectious joy that she gave and gave to the world made his heart weak. And too, he found it gave him a new strength. With her joy came the need to fill her life with even more delight, and he would fight any battle to make it so. Yet in spite of all this, he had been unwilling to fight his own battles. Hadn't Kagome always conquered her doubts and fears? Hadn't he fallen in love with her because she knew how to be happy in a way he didn't know how? And he was still so afraid of loving her, so unwilling to admit that he needed her. She was the reasoning hidden behind all the doubt, his reason to breathe and to wake up in the morning. Maybe… she also gave him reason to take care of himself.

'Not just for her,' he thought contemplatively, 'I have to do it for myself too… Because I have to know that I can do this, that I'll never have a reason to hold back.' Shyness, a feeling all too common when he was around Kagome, caused the first little bead of sweat to form on his forehead. 'If Kagome's not afraid… then I can't be either.'

Pulling his head back just enough, he gazed down at her face. She had the side of her face pressed against his collar, her eyelashes dusted over her cheeks in a heavy grace, the smile on her face was pure and untainted. Inuyasha smiled down at her weakly, then quickly pushing down the lump in his throat, he schooled his features.

Just as he was about to open his mouth, a loud rumble invaded his ears. New and completely unwelcome in his current state, he didn't even understand what it was until Kagome's soft laughter caught his attention again. His stomach.

She pushed herself off of his body, giving him her carefree smile as she pushed her hair out of her face. "After all that, I'll bet you can really use some ramen. Stay put, I'll be right back."

She kissed him quickly and gently, causing an even bigger fracture in his reserve as she got to her feet. His body, unprepared for her sudden departure, grew even wearier at the lack of warmth that had been there before. It took a few moments for him as he tried to organize the sounds in his throat, as she took a few steps back towards the house. As he grew more and more agitated with himself for stumbling over his words, he suddenly shouted out, "Hey!"

It was louder than he had anticipated. Somewhere between a statement and a yell. She turned around only to stare at him a little incredulously. He let the words fall from his lips, "Hold on a sec."

Inuyasha got to his feet, as he did, hardening himself to his weaknesses, forcing himself into believing that he had a duty to hold to for himself. Kagome then smiled sweetly back at him, "You're not one to wait for ramen." She came back towards him, stopping closely in front of him and staring up at him with big innocent eyes. "What's up?"

Her naïve question made him realize just how hard this would be. All the words he wanted to say were suddenly jumbled in his mind, like she had the hidden power to rob him of his speech. He had heard once before that every woman had that power only over the ones who loved them, but he had never believed it before. How could a simple stare steal his voice? How could a gentle voice make his mind melt away? How could a woman make a man so weak that he chanced at insanity?

He tried his best, "Kagome… You, um… You know, right? I mean… You couldn't, I would think, but… I thought that maybe I could… If you'd want me to… And… and I do want to, it's just that… these things take time, and…"

"Inuyasha," she interrupted, her face full of patience and also confusion, "What's troubling you? Is it really that bad?"

"It ain't bad, damnit," his voice grew agitated for a moment, then soft again, "At least… I don't think so… I just… There were some things I wanted… But I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do."

A whisper on the wind as she took his hands in hers, made the built-up panic start to dissipate. The call of something as old as time soothed his fears with an instinct to love, and just to love. She was his mate, in his heart, she was. A feeling known both by his human blood and his youkai blood, a common ground, a knowledge that had passed down from far too many generations to count. Who knew when such a feeling began to exist? The fabric of time was woven around the evolution of this feeling. Deep down, he knew it, and he had grown to accept it. It was the one thing left that tied him down to the rest of the world. It was the one thing that defined why he had a heart for humans.

She brought his hands upwards and kissed them, murmuring against his skin, "You can tell me, for starters."

'_Yeah… for starters… then what?'_

"Don't worry," she said, "You know… you can tell me anything."

Her smile told him that she was just as willing to solve his problems as he was for her, and it mirrored how grateful she was for what he had done. His eyes fell to their intertwined hands, drawn by the electric flow that locked him to her. It dawned on him just how small her hands were in comparison to his, and how they fell into his palms with a soft precision, with the delicate match of her skin to his. As she held his hands up, she also held up his courage, beckoned him to give her everything he wanted to give her. Without needing to ask, her gentle perusal had his chaotic mind numbed to the chaos. The peace she gave him, the wholeness that was him and her, the elegant touch as her breath tickled his skin… There was so much she did for him without even knowing it.

Her face shined up at his with absolute trust budding in the space between. He couldn't help but think that maybe… that maybe she did know the truth. If nothing else, that should give him the little extra courage he needed to do this. He would follow Kagome into this absolute trust. The words, jumbled as they are, were still coherent, at least to him, and in the back of them all, there was only one thing that made sense. Only one thought that made the world feel right, that haunted him like the scent of the forest on his clothes.

There were so many things he wanted to say. At the moment, he couldn't remember how one said them, want… need… heart… mate… There wasn't enough time to say all the words that felt perfect enough to say. There wasn't enough time to make them come out the right way. The only thing, the only thing that he thought would make sense to her, hung behind his tongue, building up, waiting for more.

The twinkle in her eyes, the happiness that fed him, the warmth of her soul as it caressed his made the worry suddenly disappear. If he didn't know what else to say, there was at least that one thing, the one truth that would explain it all, that would change everything between them. It was this one thing that he seemed to exhale, practically involuntarily, as it tumbled, cascaded, and rolled from his mouth like a simple breath.

"I love you."

To be continued…

**I am horribly evil for leaving the chapter like this, but next chapter, you'll realize that if I kept going, I couldn't very well stop afterwards. **

**Geez… how long has it been since I've updated? What can I say? I rarely have internet access, and school's a pain in the ass. Horribly sorry to keep you waiting this long, but I hope it's worth it. And with a cliff-hanger like this, I doubt I'll be leaving you waiting for much longer. Practically done with the next chapter anyways. Catch ya later!**


	32. Ch 32: Absolute

**Lime… lemon… limey… Limey lemon… thingy… **

Chapter 32: Absolute

Her mind was spinning and spinning out of control. She didn't know why her body felt this way, so numb, couldn't understand why her eyes were closed or why someone was holding her. But she could feel the fast brush of air as she seemed to be carried through space, the arms locked tightly around her giving way to hardened muscle, as something fell. It took her a moment to recognize the sound… a wooden door?

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

'_Huh?'_

She couldn't process whoever's voice it was. Her attention turned to the fact that the air was suddenly a whole lot warmer, but she was still being pulled through the air, and she couldn't understand why. The warmth, although pleasant, was shocking to her body, unprepared for the sudden change.

'_What's… happening?'_

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! …"

'_I… Inuyasha?'_

She was being pulled upwards. Was he leaping around? Where were they? Why did he have her in his arms like this? His loud breath invaded her ears. He was panting horribly. Suddenly, she felt softness beneath her, something cushy and warm. And then his arms left her, the sounds of his curses disappearing as he seemed to run away. She tried to open her eyes, and her head protested the attempt. Her head was aching something horrible. In the background, she could hear things clanging, water running, and the faint noises of Inuyasha's frantic cursing. Her hand found its way to her forehead as she groaned weakly. Her head didn't so much hurt as it felt like it had been jumbled around. It felt practically like liquid, and her body felt weak as though she was a rock falling through water. A clattering sound made her wince, and the following shout of 'God damnit!' confused her.

Finally, she had recovered enough to open her eyes. The things around her were still a little blurry. As they adjusted, she realized she was in her own living room, lying on the couch. _'Did I… Did I faint?'_

"_I love you."_

Suddenly, her eyes went wide as it came back to her. Inuyasha… telling her about his mother… trying to give her hope… telling her all of a sudden that he loved her… the way her heart seemed to suddenly burst in her chest, the shock that ran deep into her bones.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

The futuristic and metallic kitchen left the hanyou paranoid and confused, and it managed to accelerate his out-of-control panic. He didn't have a clue where anything was in this place. Every damned appliance looked the same… Hell, he couldn't even tell by looking at them what they were for. One cabinet at a time, he began ripping apart the kitchen, searching in vain for something that would help.

'_Damnit! I'm… _I'm such an idiot_! What the hell was I thinking?' _

The wood of the cabinets hit the floor hard as he ripped them off the hinges, a few of them even splintering, but Inuyasha didn't stop. His own uneven breath vibrated in his head, overtaking how loud he was. Though it did vaguely occur to him that Mrs. Higurashi would probably kick him out of the house for this, there were more important things at hand.

'_Baka! After all the shit she's been through, did you really think she was ready to hear something like _that_?'_

In the midst of his riotous quest for whatever, he finally found something: a washcloth. Finally, a task at hand, he made a small leap towards the sink. With a hard yank, he pulled the faucet to the side, not expecting the fast rushing water that exploded in his face, and he stumbled. A large pot that overflowed from the dirty dishes pile suddenly came falling down onto his foot, and he cursed loudly, "God damnit!"

Inuyasha winced and hissed as he pushed away the pain. Turning down the water pressure, he quickly ran the cloth under the faucet, and then turned to hurry back to where he had left Kagome laying.

Midway through the living room, he was suddenly pushed to the wall by some unknown force, followed immediately after by the brutal feeling of warm lips on his.

He gasped.

He knew these lips, knew them because he had memorized them by heart. Yet it did nothing to stave the sudden shock he felt at the contact, and he tried to pull his body away from Kagome, and might have succeeded had he not been pressed tightly against the wall. The wet cloth in his hand fell to the floor in a heap.

When he pulled his lips from hers, her soft whimper of upset came to him, and his eyes widened in confusion. The salty scent of her tears touched him deep, a frightening, thrilling, despairing thing. As she reached out to him again, trying to capture him in another kiss with a desperation that spoke volumes, he couldn't possibly refuse her. He let her push forward to capture his lips, ignoring the confusion he felt if only for her sake, patiently giving her what she needed until he figured out what was happening. He let her kiss him, let her dominant him even if she didn't know what it meant for her to have such a power. Who else would he let control him this way? Who else would he give in to if not Kagome? The gentle call of her soul to his as she sucked on his bottom lip reached its destination, all the way to the deepest part of his heart. The lack of conviction wasn't enough to hide what he somehow knew to be true without even the tiniest reason to believe. His instincts told him there would not be any other person who could fulfill him this way.

He didn't understand the scent of her tears as she kissed him with a wanton force that he didn't know she had. The clash between upset and joy set inside him as a vulnerable feeling, a war of emotions up against everything he knew about himself, the tainted, lowly, disgusting past that haunted him still. Not knowing whether or not he should return her hopeless kisses or run away, not knowing what either option might do to her, he could only stand there fighting against the need to do both.

And she told him what she needed from him. The whisper of his name rushed past his ears as softly as wind. She continued to brutally kiss him, perhaps trying to hypnotize him with her body, and in between every kiss she murmured his name, almost inaudible even to his hanyou ears, the nonsense of her words furthering to both perplex him and entice him. Her fingers caressed his cheeks yet never relinquished her surprisingly firm hold on him. Her firm hands dragged over his skin with cruel retribution to his hesitation. The power she presented to him was both calming and frightening. It was hard to admit it, but in a way he really was terrified of her. He was terrified because every day he wanted her more and more, every day he needed her closeness, every day she encouraged him to be an even better person. Wanting to be powerful, wanting to be in charge of his own destiny, she had to know that he was giving up a lot of pride for her, at least he hoped she did. That was why he risked his life to make her world a beautiful place; that was why he was willing to tell her that he loved her.

Hesitating still, yet marveling in the serenity she inspired, he gently returned her kiss. His pressure on her lips wasn't nearly as strong as hers on his, but it was all he felt he could do. He let his hands fall on her back, gently holding her to him though he didn't even need to try. His thumbs rubbed in circles, yearning to feel the skin beneath her clothing, residing to relish in the warmth that broke through the barrier. Wondering suddenly if she was doing this to him out of happiness at the words he had spoken to her outside, his heart fluttered under a rushed breath. He wouldn't really know until she settled down, but he dared to hope.

His responses to her actions thrilled her. She broke their kiss to let her smile widen to full capacity. The tears she had shed blinded her still; she closed her eyes and held him closer, her voice cracking as she spoke the words she didn't have time to rehearse in her head, the words that she could somehow articulate even if she didn't understand how she could, "Inuyasha… Inuyasha, I love you… I love you, too! God, to hear you say the same…" she sighed and quickly caught her breath, "I love you too."

Her tender words splashed over him like ice cold water. Distinctly feeling his brain fall into the pit of his stomach, whatever thought he was trying to form had suddenly disappeared, never to be recovered again. As though her words were magic, the invisible wings around his heart suddenly took into the air. The ground was already lost beneath his feet.

Hands gripping the back of her clothes, Inuyasha consumed her lips as though he was trying to touch the heavens. The uncertainty in his heart welled up into an overwhelming since of pride, of victory, of something that he didn't think had a name, which seemed too big a thing to label as 'joy'. He didn't know exactly what he was seeking, only that his heart and soul demanded her and her alone, that only she could make him crumble and still mend the pieces back together. A drive to know her every breath and every heartbeat, irrational and overzealous, had a rock-hard force to rival the earth, too commanding to be held down by such a dimming thing as logic. He _would _know her life. He _would _feel with his fingers what could not be touched. He _would _taste his own love in his throat as it passed from his mouth and into hers. Damned logic couldn't keep his body down. Gravity was already quaking with fear of him as he soared.

With a quick turn, he pushed her back against the wall, kissed her with a force powerful enough to bruise her mouth. His tongue darted out and severed her lips, filling her mouth with the feeling of him. Though her mind frantically grasped at the real world, at the sounds and lights of Tokyo, she couldn't help but feel like they had melted away before they could reach her, and she gave in to the swirling vortex that pulled her under. Her aura crackled so loudly even she could hear it, and Inuyasha must have to, for his teeth grazed her lips hungrily. She cried out, only to have the sound lost in him. The action hit its mark, and she would have collapsed again had he not been there to hold her up. He held her unsteady body aloft, trying to save her from the rising fire even as he himself was scorched by the flame. The pressure of the wall and of Inuyasha's body trapped her firmly, yet the tight imprisonment bloomed into the familiar knowledge that Inuyasha would shield her from the world. He would shield her from things she both loved and hated. He would fight against the air that might choke her lungs. He would take the plunge to meet her eagerness with a passion of his own. Only two small souls in the span of time and space, the blinding zeal, the rush of need was epic.

Never breaking the kiss, he pulled at her legs, hoisted her up against him and allowed her legs to wrap around him. Using the wall to hold her in place for the moment, he ardently raked his claws across her thinly-covered skin from her hips to her mid thigh. It earned him a full-on gasp; he swallowed it into his lungs. The warm breath seared him all the way down. Her hands tugged at the collar of the back of his haori, the result being a pull on his clothes that threatened to pull his lips away. With a low, primitive growl of dominance, he pressed into her stronger. His lips made a dive for her neck. He sucked at the pulse in her throat, his lips wide against her skin. He forced her to submit to him with his lips, his tongue, his fangs, and his breath.

The guttural moan she tried to hold back was released practically as a scream, a yell born from the suffocating smoke. Somewhere inside, her body knew that she had been stabbed through the heart with a dagger, and left to bleed. Inuyasha, her murderer, relished in her defeat, in the pain and ache that would carry her away to the underworld. She could fight back, she could conquer him, but the only thing she would do was love him, and she would die with this ache in her heart if only with the one who put it there in the first place, to feed her pain with her pleasure and pull him down with her, her enemy, her true love.

In the recesses of his clouded mind, a hushed whisper came through. _'Nn… Not here.'_

Slipping an arm beneath her, he held her against him as he backed away from the wall. His name, tumbling from her lips time and time again as he kissed her throat, ricocheted through his sensitive ears like the booming of a loud drum. She chanted the word like a mantra, like a miko's spell. So easy to lose himself in her, so easy to forget his own body, he was becoming weak at her pleading call. The corporeal call of his body to hers washed over him like a rising tide, slowly receding, coming back time and again more powerful than before.

He stumbled back and caught her lips in his again to steady himself. As his heals hit the front of the stairs, she managed to pull open the front of his haori. Not expecting the sudden intrusion, he gasped out when her hands delved into his skin, as her mouth pressed against his chest and neck in a trail of hot wet kisses that sought to overthrow him. The growl he uttered was one of pleasure and approval, vulnerability even if it was mirrored delicately with strength. His futile attempts to ascend the staircase halted at the fifth step, unable to make his feet respond to him when his skin tingled after every kiss.

The scent of his own arousal hit him hard and quickly, and it only took now for him to realize the physical need that was building. Focusing in, he realized that Kagome's spiced scent was already well distributed in the air. Forgetting the hesitation, the side of him that wanted to pull away, he gripped her shirt tightly in his fingers, wrinkling the material in his fists. He growled to the nothingness possessively, daring anyone or anything to just try to pull them apart, opposing the thought that she could be anyone else's but his. She was the fire that kept him alive in the deathly cold of winter. She was the comet in the night sky that reflected light into his eyes, slowly falling down to him. And her ruthless perusal was far beyond his control.

'_Not here!'_

Once again, he bounded up the staircase, making quick work to pull the flimsy pajama top she wore over her head. He immediately pulled her back to him and enclosed her in yet another heady kiss. His body shuddered when he realized she wore no bra underneath, and her naked chest was pressed perfectly against his, absolutely nothing to hinder his imagination. He could feel every inch of her, and the scent of his need grew stronger.

His foot kicked open her bedroom door. Without even pausing, he strode over towards her bed. She pulled her haori and gi completely off of him, letting them pool on the floor just before they fell onto the bed together. Her body was immediately covered by his, he forced her down into her mattress with the will of his tongue. She felt at his back, marveling at the soft skin masked over the rippling muscles. As he moved his arms, caressing her, she could feel his back moving, turning as he sought to touch her, and she weakly smiled against his lips. The cadence of his heartbeat melded with her own, faster and faster in her ears and body. A whisper on the wind, the boom of a canon, the reverberation of an earthquake. The consuming heat, masked with the defenses, the want to shield him from his fears and memories, augmented in the aftermath of every kiss as the need to give him this part of herself that she felt she could never give to another soul. With every break in time and space, she knew she was bound to the air around her, one with the air, unable to breathe when she didn't have lungs, yet brought back down to earth every time with the touch of his hands, the knowledge that he wanted her. The waves rose in his kiss, receded in his touch, lapped at her senses with the sounds of his heartbeat, waited to drown her with a storm.

Suddenly, she felt both of his hands running along the sides of her breasts, causing her to moan lightly. He had barely touched them, and her body was already reacting. Though she was anxious, a part of her just knew he would not be slow to deny her his touch again. Her body's wish was granted, as he covered both breasts with his palms. The next moan that passed through her lips was loud and hearty, or at least it would have been if he hadn't been kissing her so deeply. Her breathing was light and frantic as the warmth of his hands, the movement of his thumbs across her skin accelerated the roaring spiral of energy. Her back arched against him. The submission she gave, the soft cries that spilled from her lips as he moved to kiss her neck again, the trembling of her eyelashes as he slipped a hand into the side of her cotton pants… she wanted him to discover her body, just as she wanted to discover his.

She opened her eyes half way to gaze at him as his passion took an odd turn for tenderness. The slow churning of his hands against her, the tickle of his face as he nuzzled her skin… As though he had nowhere higher to climb, the fierceness of him had evened out into a calming wave, the eye of the storm. She watched with glazed eyes as he trailed soft kisses around her shoulders, his eyes closed and his brow furrowed in concentration. Try as she might to smile at this, her lips were trembling. Couldn't help but be awed by him, couldn't help but cherish the tenderness he wanted to show her, she never felt more at home than when she was with him, whenever he needed somebody who could love him. Her spinning mind was blissful, tranquil, hopelessly lost in the beauty of him, in the essence of his heart. She loved him for this… for his strength inside and out, for the gentleness and fragility that called her to aid him, for his determination to love her. When was the first time she had known that she loved him? Her memory couldn't possibly pinpoint an exact time. Her love was forever. As long as she lived, she would never let him face a day alone.

The peaceful interlude burgeoned once again into a hurricane, as his mouth covered her left breast. She cried out a ragged breath as her nails dug lightly into his shoulders, his back. The hotness of his breath was numbing, a surprising contrast against the air around them. The wetness of his tongue covered the burn, cooled her. She arched against him, rose to him like a phoenix rising from the ashes, reborn in every kiss. His tongue ran across the vale between both breasts; then he moved his attentions to the ignored right side, leaving behind the same searing heat and cold as the first. The air lapped at her wet skin, and she shivered lightly. The hanyou didn't seem to notice. She barely even noticed as he pulled her cotton pants all the way down to her ankles. His exceptional treatment to her upper body was still far too appetizing for her to notice anything else.

Inuyasha pushed one hand into her midnight hair, pulling gently to force her head back, exposing her neck to his eyes. Her breathing was wild and emphasized. He could see the muscles pushing back and forth, the expansion of her throat with every breath, the rolling movement that he could either tame or set free. He pressed his mouth against her throat, his lips wide and his tongue swirling around the pulse just beneath her skin. She moaned lightly, like he was slowly sucking out her soul. It wasn't that far from the truth. Her soul was just as beautiful as her body, and the undiscovered corners of her spirit still lurked beneath her skin. The only thing left for him to do was conquer. Somehow, he didn't think she would hesitate, not for a second. She had already surrendered her whole heart to him. Though he knew long ago that she loved him, hearing the words from her lips had made the need to possess her all the more powerful. There wasn't a time when he was more enthusiastic, when he was most hopeful that she would truly want to be with him forever.

His free hand fluttered up and down her leg, and he knew she had finally noticed her exposure, because the muscles tensed. He squeezed her gently, causing her to shudder. He loved touching her, being the one to make her react this way. It gave him the courage to be a little more daring, as he ran his hand gentle down the inside of her thigh… She arched towards him, silently telling him to keep going, but his swirling mind couldn't even cope with her approval. The ache inside of him was burning him alive.

He followed that heat, followed that ache to the only place where such instincts could take him. His fingers grazed the softness, shaking, uncontrolled. She was trembling all over. He slowed his exploits on her neck, soothing her with a gentle kiss meant to ease her body, gently trying to chide away the fear of her own passion. She settled, and his movements practically stilled as his palm pressed over her fully. She cried out again, a raw cry of both surprise and thrill. The hotness on his fingertips goaded him further, the need to feel her body too important to ignore, as he nudged a finger gently inside of her.

"Inuyasha! Inuyasha…" She mumbled, broken apart by his touch in a most unsuspected place.

He moved a bit, pushing in a little deeper, as she continued to whisper on the wind, "Inuyasha…"

"_Inuyasha-ni-chan!"_ A voice in the distance somewhere.

Inuyasha's eyes shot wide open, the hazy cloudy fog on his mind shattering into a thousand pieces. The cold air and weight of gravity hit him like a rock to the head. He barely had time to register the voice, but he did have just enough. The sounds of small boys running through the living room issued sudden panic. Jerking his hand away from Kagome, he bounded towards the open door. Souta and his friends were already starting up the stairs, and Inuyasha slammed the door louder than he had hoped.

He turned around, pressing his back against the door. But perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to turn back around. Kagome was still lying on her back, completely unclothed. Obviously not over the dizzying effects of what they had been doing, her clouded eyes gazed at his. They were full and bright, spiritually tired yet begging for more. Her dark messy hair was sprawled all around her head. Her cheeks were flushed pink. Her chest rose and fell with every fervent breath. He gulped, then blushed a bright red as his realized his own physical display of want.

Just then, the door knob next to him began to turn. With a startled yell, he grabbed onto it, frantically keeping it still. He could hear Souta'a voice just behind the door, and he would be damned if he let one of Kagome's family members walk in on them like this. After a few seconds, the door knob stopped moving. Apparently, the boy had assumed the room was locked, and had run off again to play in his room with his friends.

Inuyasha dared one more glance at Kagome, who was slowly recovering. When she realized that the magic had passed, what they were about to do, her current lack of clothing, she sat up and slowly wrapped her arms around her chest, curved one leg over the other to hide the rest of her. The look of shame in her eyes, though clearly out of embarrassment and not out of regret, still didn't help Inuyasha's body to get the message. Hurriedly, he closed his eyes and opened the door behind him, stealing away from her and the aroused scent in her room. He shut the door behind him, sighed lightly in relief as he pressed his forehead against the door.

"Inuyasha-ni-chan!"

"Gah!" Inuyasha yelped as he jumped.

Souta had snuck up behind him, looking at him with big bright eyes that always meant he wanted something. Inuyasha grimaced, trembled in fear as he struggled to keep certain facts about his current situation hidden from the small boy. Souta didn't seem to notice, "Inuyasha-ni-chan! Can I please use your sword?"

"Uh… Tetsusaiga?" Inuyasha muttered practically as a whisper, still unable to think straight.

"Yeah, that's the own. I wanted to show my friends. Can I _please_?" He asked, elongating the 'please' for a cuteness effect.

"Damnit! No way!" Inuyasha responded impatiently as he managed to scoot away from the door and made a dodge for the bathroom.

Souta looked after him, cocking an eyebrow at the funny way he was walking, before sighing in dismay and gloomily walking back to his own room.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Inuyasha stayed in that bathroom for a long time. Needless to say, he hadn't had this kind of problem since he was younger, when such things started happening for no apparent reason at all. Problem was, his acute embarrassment wouldn't let it dissipate normally. By the time he finally emerged from the bathroom, he fearfully wondered if the length of time alone had been enough for people to start assuming things. Hesitantly, he walked towards Kagome's door. He didn't dare to go inside, nor even check to see if she was still there. Somehow the idea of looking at her again was too much for him to think about. Even properly covered, he would surely still envision what she looked like underneath. Not to mention the idea of a confrontation. Knowing Kagome, she would be just as embarrassed as he was, and how could he possibly back out of a situation that awkward?

He went down the stairs, a little annoyed that he couldn't get his shirts back for the time being. Cursed as he was, he couldn't just avoid her for days with half of his clothes in her possession. He headed towards the kitchen in start fixing the mess he had made before Mrs. Higurashi noticed.

He made quick work of the kitchen, and decided that a cup of ramen was definitely in order. Having done this at Kagome's house so many times, he had a pretty good handle on the stove, even if nothing else seemed to work for him. He filled a small pot with water and set it on the flame, then sat at the table to wait for it to boil.

He gazed out the window. The sun had just set over the horizon. He couldn't see it behind the gate but the coloring of the sky told him that night had fallen. He hadn't even realized it was that late to begin with. It had been quite a while since they arrived at the shrine, a few weeks before. He didn't know about back home, but here spring had definitely arrived. All traces of snow were gone from the landscape. The chill in the air was cold enough, but not as stabbing to the skin as a winter wind. Goshinboku, still as tall and proud as 500 years before, was just beginning to show its little white blossoms on the highest branches.

Inuyasha got to thinking how the others must be doing. They had been gone for so long, he hoped they weren't too preoccupied. Still, he refused to go back and see them without Kagome. After everything that had happened, he didn't think he'd be too far off from Kagome for very long. The memory of Kokuei, of seeing the mirror image of himself, shot through his mind like a bullet. The hanyou stared intently at the blue tablecloth, face firm in concentration even though he wasn't really looking at anything. Remembering the pain of having to battle with his own friends, that he had been so very close to losing Kagome to that imposter… a shiver ran up his spine. To go back home would mean having to face Kokuei again. He didn't doubt that this was over. In fact, Inuyasha distinctly remembered the furious look on Kokuei's face when he hadn't succeeded in killing the miko.

'_Perhaps… it would be better for her to just stay here?' _He mused dejectedly.

When he noticed the water was ready, he poured it into the Styrofoam container, then walked towards the front door. He sat on the porch, staring out at the open yard, as he pondered to himself. No, Kagome would never want to leave the others behind just for her safety, even if Inuyasha chose to stay with her, which he knew he would. Kagome would insist on going back and facing this problem. She'd probably osuwari him if he tried to make her stay away from the world she called her second home. How could he blame her? This place, the future, in a way wasn't this his second home? How would he have reacted if someone had told him that he couldn't go see Kagome anymore? And didn't Kagome give him another family that wanted him, that loved him… her own family?

His gaze caught Goshinboku, swaying in the night, its little white buds littering the sky like stars. Inuyasha smiled to himself. As if Goshinboku hadn't been a huge part in their lives already, it was here, this very day, where Inuyasha finally told Kagome the truth, and the result of that, though chaotic and nearly fatal to his restraints, was in a sense… nice. It greatly pleased him, to know that she was happy with this. Time and again, he realized the extent to which she could move him, the awe of what they were when they were together. She had forgiven him, the things he had done, who he was by nature, out of a natural gift of kindness so foreign to him, so unexpected, and he couldn't help but to forgive himself as well, even if only a little. Rather shy and a little underfoot, there was such strength in her that he had always known. From the day they met each other, despite her precarious situation, she hadn't let anyone push her around. She hadn't let the death and panic, the heartbreak that he had dealt her, hold her back from being all she could be. These past few days, it was the first time he could ever remember seeing such a complete look of helplessness. His attempt to cheer her up was risky but in his mind necessary. She looked at him like he was some kind of saint.

He sighed. He didn't think he was anything like a saint. Giving her back the same heartfelt words that she had given so many times only meant he was willing to take the plunge for her, let go of his pride, open up like never before. It always lightened her mood somehow, when he told her about his feelings. He never truly appreciated that, until he needed it today. He wasn't a saint, but today he felt stronger, he felt strong in a new kind of way.

Having told her in the end what he had ached to tell her for so long, well… perhaps he wasn't so worthless after all.

"Aren't you cold?"

Caught up in his thoughts, he hadn't realized that someone was close by. He spun his head around quickly to see Kagome's mother standing in the doorway. She stared at him skeptically as he gulped. "Is everything alright? You'll catch a cold if you stay out here without a shirt on."

Glancing down at his exposed chest as if he had only just realized his lack of attire, he blushed with an irrational sense of vulnerability around the woman who, as he saw it, deserved a more respectful guest. "Uh… Sorry. It got… wet."

"Oh. Well I can put it in the dryer if you like. I'll just go get it from Kagome's room." She started to turn.

"No!" He yelped out, a little panicier than he wanted to sound. Granted, he realized after he had said it, there wasn't really much harm if she just waltzed into Kagome's room now. It wasn't very likely that Kagome was still naked, was it? He made a face. _'Definitely the last thing I want to think about.'_ "Don't worry about it. It's probably almost dry, and the machine'll make it smell funny anyway."

Somehow she seemed to be satisfied with the answer, even if a little surprised at his anxious state. She sat down next to him, a few feet away, pulling her shawl closer around her shoulders. "Inuyasha-kun," she asked as she stared at the ground in front of her, "I wanted to ask you… Are you two planning on leaving again soon?"

He grimaced. Though he knew whole-heartedly that Mrs. Higurashi trusted him with protecting her daughter, a small part of him couldn't help but worry that she wouldn't approve of him taking her away again. The last time he had done that, it had cost this family dearly. "I've thought about it," he answered honestly, "You… don't want us to go?"

She shook her head gently, "No, it's not that. But what can I say? I'll always miss my daughter when she's away. I was just hoping that you'll come back shortly. It'll be Kagome's birthday soon after all."

He nodded tersely. When she didn't respond for a few moments, he spoke what was on his mind, "I won't keep her away from here. You don't have to worry."

"I think you're the one who worries too much. I'd already forgiven you long ago." She lifted her head and stared at Goshinboku. Could she sense the magic of this place? Could she sense how important it was for him? Perhaps she gained the same feeling of peace that he felt whenever he was around this tree. "You and Kagome… You're really close now, aren't you?"

His mind panicked, "Uh! I…" He couldn't continue.

Her smile widened, though he hadn't even given her an answer. "I'm glad… for the both of you. Whenever I look at Goshiboku, I think about what Kagome told me, about how you met. Ever since she told me about it, I felt in my heart that it was fate for you two to find each other. Somehow, this tree has a way of giving this family everything it needs."

Glancing at Goshinboku, Inuyasha couldn't stop a small smile of his own. Fate… He couldn't agree more.

She got to her feet, shivering, obviously unable to sit still in the cold. "I trust you to take care of my Kagome. Be gentle with her. She is my daughter, after all, and I love her very very much."

'_So do I,' _he was tempted to say, but suddenly realizing the implications of the words she had spoken, his face burned in an outraged blush, staring at her with a look of pure terror in his eyes. "I-I didn't do anything!" He shouted.

She blushed too and made a face. "I never said…" She sighed, "Never mind. I'm sure you would have anyway."

By the time Mrs. Higurashi had walked inside and closed the door, Inuyasha was half sure he would die of either embarrassment or lack of breath. He could only hope that the ground would open up and swallow him whole along with his stupid words. He got to his feet. _'Shit! Can't get my haori back, can't control the volume of my voice. I've been cursed. I just know it.'_

Staring at Goshinboku again, he felt his body relax. _'Wonder if the wench is still awake.'_

He had a feeling she would be getting ready for bed. It had been a trying day for her. Actually, he was surprised that she hadn't come after him all this time. It was likely that she was waiting for him to come back on his own time. She had to know just how embarrassed he was. He grimaced. He _really _hoped she was asleep by now.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

It took him a few more minutes of mental preparation, but eventually he did gather the courage to climb the staircase. Along the way, he found Kagome's pajama top, thrown recklessly in the middle of the walkway. He snatched it up quickly, thanking whatever gods were out there that Mrs. Higurashi hadn't yet gone upstairs. As he reached the top, he silently made a note to himself to be more cautious about whatever 'trail' he felt behind.

The scent of Kagome, warm and vivacious, still came off the material in gentle waves. The scent was old, but nevertheless wholly comforting. He clutched it to his chest, a small smile lighting up his face. Too easy to find his common ground in her scent, in her presence. He approached the door, pausing for a moment to listen. There were no sounds coming from behind the door. He thinned his lips in slight worry. Luckily for him, she must have gone to bed, but he could only pray that she had made herself… decent… before getting under the covers. Common sense told him so, but still…

His clawed fingers wrapped around the doorknob, and he turned. The door made a small squeaking noise as it opened. Inside, the lights were off, and in the bed in the corner he could distinctly make out a human form under the blanket. Kagome's black hair stuck out at the top. Her face was buried just below the edge of the blanket, like a child afraid of the dark. Inuyasha smiled to himself.

He closed the door carefully behind him. Not really paying attention as he hooked the strap of her pajama top on the knob of her closet, he strode over to crouch next to the bed. His haori and gi still lay on the floor beside him, but he paid them no mind just yet. Driven by the wonderful thoughts he had outside, goaded by the need to experience them again by her side, he gentle reached out his hand to pull down the blanket, just enough to expose her face. Her expression, the sleeping face that he knew so well, calm and serene, elegant like the color of the sky at twilight. The desire to reach out to her was overwhelming. He didn't kiss her, but he did take a few moments to tangle his fingers into her hair. With a sigh, he scooted back a little to rest his back against the bed, ready to wake up the next morning by her side.

"Inuyasha…"

His back stiffened, so much it moved the bed slightly. Hesitantly, he turned his head towards the voice, towards Kagome. Her eyes, now open but lined with fatigue, gazed at him almost audaciously, fighting the rising blush on her cheeks. The memory of what had happened was evident in her eyes, the embarrassment, but after a few seconds of just staring, she blinked away the worry in her face and smiled at him. He tried to smile back, not really knowing if it worked or not. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

She blinked slowly, moved her head just a little to signal to him that she didn't mind. She didn't. After he had left, it had taken her a long time to get over the effects of what had happened. Her heart raced, her cheeks flushed, her body shivered, and her lips ached for his. But the magic was gone all to fast. As much as she did want to wait, just a little longer, she couldn't help but be more furious with her brother than she had ever been in her entire life, though she obviously could never tell him that without having to explain herself. She had noted Inuyasha's face, red-hot just like her own, and the fright in his eyes just before he left the room. Once her body had settled down, once she got over the bitter disappointment that they had been stopped, she had debated going after Inuyasha for a while. Considering the circumstances, she guessed correctly that it was best for him to come back on his own time. She wasn't about to push him into a situation like that, especially when she too felt a little bit of shame.

"Where were you?" She asked.

"Just downstairs." He remembered why he had got downstairs in the first place, to clean up the kitchen that he had practically destroyed, and it brought on a new thought, "How's your head?"

"Fine." He nodded slightly. "Inuyasha…"

"Hm?"

"Would you…" She looked down a little, "Would you sleep next to me?"

The fist sized lump he tried to swallow in his throat just kept coming back, and when he spoke, it felt like it was trying to choke him, "Kagome… I don't think…"

"Please… It's okay. I promise."

"… All right."

She happily scooted over enough for him slip into the sheets beside her. When she wrapped her arms around him, he sighed in relief when he felt the definite barrier of clothing between them. Even if normally annoying, tonight he couldn't be happier to have that little distance between them. She snuggled into his still naked chest, and he embraced her beneath the sheets. Her hands ran lightly over his collar, soothing him with her touch, promising not to overwhelm him this time. Amazing, how her touch could both thrill him and calm him, as though she could channel the necessary energy through her fingertips. True enough, being with her was nothing short of… magical.

Her scent was all around him, the feel of her aura, saturating him with peace. As the welcome and familiar sensation began to overtake his emotions, he smiled into the darkness. Lying next to her like this, feeling the light weight of her body on his, sharing her warmth and her breath… The wholeness of his heart went beyond the bounds of satisfaction. For him it was what it meant to be alive. The need to die for her was equally matched by the need to live for her. Just as he would fight whatever monster threatened them, he would always come out victorious, so long as he had Kagome to come home to. An image came into his mind, a hope, a dream… Walking home from a tiresome battle, seeing Kagome immerge from a hut with a relieved grin on her face as she ran towards him. He imagined her jumping into his arms, him kissing her lips, just happy to be allowed to live on for a little while longer.

"I'm glad you said it," she mumbled against his chest.

He blinked; his imaginative thought was gone, "What was that?"

She snuggled closer to him. "I'm glad you told me the truth," she gently rubbed his shoulder with her thumb, "I always knew it was true, but… I'm glad that I got to hear it… Thank you."

A hot prickling behind his eyes, unusual yet thrilling, put a stop to his instinctive gruff rebuttal. Instead, he tightened his hold on her, buried his nose into her hair, "Keh! Wench…"

"Baka," she sighed.

She closed her eyes, settled against his heart as the world seemed to slow just for them. Inuyasha turned his head towards the window. Though he couldn't sit it, he knew that Goshinboku was just around the corner. He pressed a kiss to Kagome's forehead, closed his eyes, and followed her into slumber.

'_Fate…'_

To be continued…

…… **Hmm… I would say I hope you enjoyed this chapter, but… why does that feel somehow… wrong? **

**So… never really have done a chapter like… this… before. Was it… good?**

**(silly little girlie giggles)**

**By the way, WTF? Nearly 2 months since an update. Terrible… But it was 15 pages long so there's my excuse. Sorry about that.**


	33. Ch 33: Precautions

Chapter 33: Precautions

_BEFORE YOU START TAKING YOUR PILLS_

_Decide what time of day you want to take your pill. It is important to take it at about the same time every day._

_Look at your pill pack: It will have 28 pills: 21 "active" white pills (with hormones) to take for 3 weeks, followed by 1 week of 7 "reminder" green pills (without hormones)_

……

Kagome nervously bit her lip, already starting to regret coming here. The reason wasn't what scared her, but a certain hanyou she left back at the shrine might cause a little chaos if he found out she had secretly gone to see a doctor. Then he would come rushing out to find her… he'd cause chaos… and then her mother would find out…

Staring blankly at the information pamphlet with lots of small printing, filled with instructions she didn't think she could memorize as easily as they said she would, her anxious mind cut off any real input to her brain. Her eyes glanced at the closed door for the umpteenth time in the past ten minutes, narrowing her eyes at the boring white paint in the walls as though by doing so she could make the doctor quicken her pace.

'What is taking her so long?' She groaned inwardly.

Furrowing her brow, trying to force attention, she glanced at the next bit of useful information.

_Take one pill at the same time every day until the pack is empty. Do not skip pills even if you are spotting or bleeding between monthly periods or feel sick to your stomach. Do not skip pills even if you do not have sex very often…_

The ticking of the clock aggravated her. She finally understood why Inuyasha so detested her alarm clock. She had never been the kind of person to hate going to the doctor, but after today she might think twice beforehand. It had taken much too long for her to explain to the doctor that though she did have a boyfriend, she was not yet sexually active, and therefore did not need to get tested beforehand for sexually transmitted diseases. The doctor had looked at her with such a confused look on her face, as though it was impossible for someone her age to have a boyfriend and still be a virgin, like that was something so completely out of the question, Kagome had been sure her face would erupt into flames. After a series of excruciating questions that she thought would never end, the doctor apparently saw fit to give her the birth control, and went off to make sure they still had this particular brand in stock at the pharmacy, leaving Kagome to agonize over the directions.

'Inuyasha better not figure out where I am. Course… I didn't tell anyone or leave a note, but if he can track my scent, he might very well burst into the lobby and make a scene.'

She ran a hand through her hair, pulling it out of her face. Embarrassment was the price she paid for trying to be responsible, and going about it in such a sneaky way. The idea of telling Inuyasha about her decision to take birth control made her skin crawl, but she couldn't exactly deny how close they had become these days. The little fiasco that had taken place just days before was proof that they were edging ever closer to a new stage in their relationship, and though she didn't dare just come out and ask him what his intentions were for the future, she supposed it was best to be prepared. After all, she didn't know if Inuyasha _ever _wanted children. He hadn't exactly had the most joyful childhood. Though Kagome knew in her heart that she eventually wanted children, she loved Inuyasha too much, and she would do anything he wanted if only she could stay beside him forever.

'Forever…' she mused, 'I'm really getting ahead of myself here.'

Closing her eyes against the worry and embarrassment, she stole a deep breath from the dry air and let more positive thoughts flow through her mind. Inuyasha loved her… she knew that, and if he loved her, well… he was a guy… Didn't that mean he also _wanted _her? She couldn't deny that she wanted him too, just as much as she loved him. Still, she hadn't realized she could lose herself so easily to her emotions, until that day. It was so simple to forget the future, all complications that might arise, when all she knew was that here and now Inuyasha was hers to cherish. He never made her feel rushed. He never caused her to believe that she was denying him something he wanted.

_WHAT TO DO IF YOU MISS PILLS_

_If you miss 1 active pill:_

_Take it as soon as you remember. Take the next pill at your regular time. This means you take 2 pills in 1 day._

_You do not need to use a back-up birth control method if you have sex._

_If you miss 2 active pills in a row in week 1 or week 2 of your pack:_

_Take 2 pills on the day you remember and 2 pills the next day._

_Then take 1 pill a day until you finish your pack._

_You COULD BECOME PREGNANT if you have sex in the 7 days after you miss pills. You MUST use another birth control method (such as condoms, diaphragms, or spermicides) as a back-up method for those 7 days. _

"Alright, Higurashi Kagome," came a voice from behind the door as it gently opened. The doctor stepped in with a prescription notepad and pen in her hand, "They have plenty. I'll just fill this out and you can take this down the hall to retrieve it. I can start you up with 3-month's worth. You'll have to come back to me to get more. Do you have any questions?"

Kagome shook her head. With a smile and a sigh of relief, she took the slip from the doctor's hands and stood. "Just remember, since you're starting birth control for the first time, it will take about three weeks for the pills to actually start affecting your body."

"Thank you, doctor," Kagome said, rushing out of that little white room as fast as her feet could carry her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Thank God that's over with," Kagome said to herself as she emerged from behind the glass door and into the outside world.

Frowning at the three small packages in her hand, it occurred to her that she wasn't out of the woods quite yet. The birth control would be charged to her health insurance, considering she didn't have any income of her own, meaning that sooner or later her mother would find out what was going on. She dared not imagine the shame and humiliation that would come with that. Still, her mother loved Inuyasha, and maybe if Kagome could ease the topic in carefully, it wouldn't be so bad. But later… much later…

She put the pills into her purse with a sigh and a smile. At least she had time to think things through.

Her relief was short lived. Nearly down the entrance steps, a sudden red figure swooped down and landed in front of her. She stumbled backwards, landing bottom-first on the steps behind her. The slight pain of the impact was nothing compared to the heat that suddenly engulfed her face as she realized who it was.

"Inuyasha…"

Standing with his arms crossed in his usual irritated tone, his colorful baseball cap clearly at odds with his mood, it didn't take long for him to complain. "You didn't tell me you were leaving, wench."

She got to her feet, scowling at him as she rubbed her sore behind. "You were sleeping, baka. And don't tell me you wouldn't have been angry if I woke you up."

He wasn't looking at her. His eyes had glanced up to the building behind her, and though Kagome hadn't known whether or not Inuyasha could read the big sign, when he blinked in recognition, suddenly she felt like she was shrinking.

"Why the fuck did you go to the hospital?" He fumed, his voice wavering as though he was struggling to keep his temper in check.

She groaned lightly and took a step back, only to have him take a step forward. "Stupid wench! Are you fucking sick? And you didn't tell me?"

Though his angered tone lacked any trace of concern, she of course knew that it was there, and that did a little to ease her tension. She smiled and held her hands up in an attempt to placate him. "I'm fine, really."

He came closer, and her ankles hit the stares, causing her to stop. She would have started up the stairs, had Inuyasha not grabbed onto her arms to keep her still. "If you're fine, then why are you here?"

"I… I had… It was just a check-up," she mentally cheered to herself as she realized her way out of this mess, "Nothing to be concerned about."

"Check-up?"

"Yeah. Uh… I have them every once in a while to make sure I'm still healthy."

"And?" He narrowed his eyes lightly.

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, Inuyasha, I'm fine."

"Keh," he muttered, but apparently he was satisfied with her answer, "We'll see how long you last before you mess yourself up again."

She smiled and sauntered closer into his arms, "As if you would ever let me."

The kiss she gave him was sweet and comforting, and she distinctly noticed as he relaxed against her.

"So I was thinking," she said as she pulled him to start walking beside her, "We should probably return to the past soon. Sango-chan and Miroku-sama might be worried."

"Keh! I told that bouzo we were going. If he didn't hear me it's his own damn fault."

She winced, "I really hope he heard you. We've been gone for weeks. Otherwise, they'll turn Japan upside down looking for us."

Inuyasha wasn't much for the slow walking, and turned to throw her onto his back before racing off again.

"Inuyasha!" She complained, "We'll be seen."

"If I haven't been caught yet, then that ain't happening any time soon."

She sighed against his back and shielded her eyes from the wind. She supposed the faster they returned to the shrine, the faster they could return to the Feudal Era. Somehow, it seemed clear to her that Inuyasha was just as anxious to return to the past as she was. It always was difficult for him, being in this futuristic world he just couldn't comprehend. So on edge just outside the shrine, it was as though the masses were stifling.

"So, do you want to leave today?" She asked lightly.

She didn't miss his grimace, and he caused her to blink in confusion. "Just promise me you'll stay close by, Kagome. We can't take any chances."

'Kokuei', she thought with a sigh, 'He'll still be after me.' "I promise."

True enough, once they got back, they would have a whole new battle to wage. And since Kokuei looked and sounded exactly like Inuyasha, it only took one moment for Inuyasha to disappear from her sight for her to lose track of who was who. Still… she couldn't complain with the thought of being with Inuyasha all the time, though she had to wonder if this was just a disaster waiting to happen.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"You're not coming, and that's final!"

"I'm not taking any chances!"

"Oh, yeah right. Do you really think I'm dumb enough to fall for that?"

"Don't take it so hard. These are only precautions."

"Precautions?"

"For your safety."

Her dark eyes lit up in a rage, "And how do you figure that? I fail to understand how watching me bathe is for my_ safety_."

He ran a hand through his russet hair, clearly trying to fight off the smirk slowly creeping its way onto his cheeks. "Would it be so bad? After all, I've already seen you naked."

Sango fumed, "I had hoped this nasty little habit of yours would be over once we got married, hoshi, but you're worse than ever! I can't relax when you're staring me down the whole time."

"Oh? You've been noticing so acutely?"

… "Don't play funny with me, hoshi-sama! You don't have a damn good reason."

"Don't I? As you recall, our new enemy is still on the loose. And if he could take Inuyasha's form, I dare say the shape-shifter might take on your oh-so-perfect feminine form as well."

"If that had been the case, surely he would have tried by now."

He raised a finger, "Ah hah…But perhaps that's just what he wants us to think…"

She sighed loud and hard, "Ugh… I wish Kagome-chan was back already. I can't take another day of you."

"Cruel, wife, very cruel," Miroku pouted, though his voice lacked any real emotion.

Shippou looked up from his coloring, the wooden floor around him littered with countless other drawings. "When is Kagome coming back?"

"Who can say? Inuyasha only told me they were heading here. No doubt they've had a lot of catching up to do with her family." Miroku responded.

Sango glanced out the door, the bamboo curtain having been pulled aside. She stared off in the direction of the well. "Myouga-ji-chan told us that Inuyasha wanted the jewel to open the well. I always knew he had a good heart, but I never thought he'd be so quick to give up his wish to become full-youkai."

"Perhaps it's not as odd as you think," said Kaede, kneeled in the center of the room over the boiling pot. "Inuyasha has changed much in the past few years, especially since the well closed off. Kagome has healed his heart; she has made him except this world and who he is as a hanyou. It wouldn't surprise me if Inuyasha let go of his old wish long long ago."

Both Sango and Miroku smiled sweetly at this.

"Come on, Shippou-chan. What do you say we go find that hot spring?" Sango asked.

"Hai," said the kitsune. Holding up his hands, his fingers were covered in crayon markings.

As soon as Miroku opened his mouth to speak, Sango sent him a heart-stopping glare. "_You _are not going anywhere. Go back to our hut and see if you can find anything useful to do, huh?"

With a barely-stifled groan and a bow of the head, Miroku sauntered off to his own hut, leaving the kitsune and his wife to bathe in peace.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sango sighed to herself as she watched Shippou scurry back and forth. With his pent-up energy, he couldn't stand to go at her pace, and so he ran around the area never getting too far away, as they both made their way to the hot spring. She wouldn't say it to the kitsune, but he was becoming more like Inuyasha every day. As though the hanyou's absence demanded it, Shippou was always on the look-out for trouble, always anxious just to get out and run around. Of course, Miroku and Sango kept him at bay. Once again, they had to be on their guard, and without Inuyasha around, they were far more vulnerable.

But if truth be told, it wasn't what bothered her the most. First of all, without Kagome around Miroku grew more and more daring, as though he didn't dare try a thing when someone else was watching. Of course by years of experience she knew that wasn't true, but perhaps _he _knew that without Kagome around there was no escape from the lure between husband and wife. She loved him dearly, but that monk was still the same pervert she met years ago.

Second, the encounter with the Inuyasha-look-alike had her constantly on edge. Had she been informed ahead of time that Inuyasha and Kagome were leaving without them, she would have tried to talk them out of it. So long as she couldn't tell which Inuyasha was the real one, they couldn't be more vulnerable. All he had to do was pretend like he was the friend they knew so well for only a few moments and it would be all over for them.

As they approached the spring, Sango took in just a bit of comfort from the warm fumes lingering in the air. "Shippou-chan, come on! We can't waste any time," she called behind her.

When he took a few seconds too long to appear, she called out again, "Shippou-chan!"

This time, the kitsune did appear, only running at such a speed she barely had a chance to ready herself before he leapt into her arms. "Shippou-chan?"

"I smelt him. He's heading this way!" He exclaimed with fear in his eyes.

"Who?"

"I… I don't know. It could be Inuyasha or… that other thing," he shivered as Sango lightly gasped, "They have the same scent."

Sango quickly set the kit down then extracted her dagger. Motioning for Shippou to be silent, she carefully crept through the foliage, being careful herself to keep low and not make too much noise. Some part of her insisted that she go back for Miroku before she went into any rash actions, but there wasn't a chance she would have time to get there first. 'Plus… Inuyasha never goes to the spring, unless it _isn't _Inuyasha, and he followed us here where we would be an easy kill.'

Satisfied with this conclusion that he couldn't be Inuyasha, she strengthened her nerve to prepare for the first blow. Perhaps if she could throw off the trail of her scent, she would be able to catch him by surprise.

'There he is!' Sango nearly cried out loud, but forced her mouth to remain shut.

Suddenly, her own breathing seemed obscenely loud, but the hanyou-imposter didn't seem to notice a thing. In fact, he appeared distracted, grumbling to himself as he walked.

Sango took her chance. Springing from behind the bushes, she leapt high enough into the air so as to meet him dead on. Her target turned with a small gasp just before Sango tackled him to the ground. And yet by the time she brought the tip of her blade to his neck, another gasp on the air caught her off guard. "Sango-chan! No, it's us!"

Without moving her knees from pinning the body beneath her, she turned her head to a visibly shaken Kagome, eyes wide with fear. "It's us!"

"Damnit, Sango! What the hell are you doing?" the hanyou growled beneath her.

She regarded him once again before she came to another quick conclusion. If Kagome was with him all this time, then he couldn't possibly be Kokuei. She quickly got off of him and turned towards Kagome. "Gomen…"

Kagome smiled, and rushed forward, "Sango-chan, it's so good to see you again."

As the two women hugged, Inuyasha pulled himself off the ground, "Keh! Speak for yourself."

"Thank God," Sango remarked with a sigh, "I was wondering when I would see you two again. Why did you come all the way out here?"

"Inuyasha said he could smell Shippou-chan, so I decided we should come look for you guys."

Sango turned around and called out cheerfully, "It's alright, Shippou-chan. You can come out now."

The little kitsune, who had been cowering several yards away in a little furry ball, finally caught on to what had happened, and in a few seconds he had scurried into the clearing and straight into Kagome's arms. "Kagome!"

"Shippou-chan!" She hugged him close and then held him out in front of her like she would a baby so she could look into his big green eyes.

"Did everything go well with your family?" Sango asked.

"Hai, but I sure missed you guys."

"If you women are done yet, let's get out of here before anyone else decides to attack me." Inuyasha huffed.

"You go on ahead, Inuyasha. Kagome-chan and I have some catching up to do at the hot spring." Sango said as she pulled on Kagome's arm.

"Oh no… You ain't getting away _that_ easy," Inuyasha said as he pulled Kagome back towards him and out of Sango's grasp, "Have you already forgotten there's an asshole running around who looks exactly like me?"

Unfortunately for him, Kagome only smirked and looked at the kitsune in her arms. "Shippou-chan, you can watch Inuyasha for us, can't you?"

"Nani?" Inuyasha half-yelled, "I ain't a fucking pup!"

"Sure. You can count on me, Kagome." Shippou piped up.

Kagome smiled. Just a military salute, and Shippou could pass for one of those adorable little boy scouts. "Wonderful. You see, Inuyasha. Problem solved. So long as someone keeps an eye on you, we've got nothing to worry about."

Inuyasha growled loudly to himself, unable to come up with any reason for why that shouldn't work. "Keh!" He scoffed as he turned to head towards the village. Shippou immediately leapt from Kagome's arms to follow after the hanyou, smirking to himself. His angry voice carried over to the girls even as his mumbled words slurred together, "This is so stupid. I'm not the one who needs to be watched. It's the wench who's always getting into trouble."

Kagome and Sango giggled to themselves. "Let's make it a quick one," Kagome said, "He's already in a bad mood as it is."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Inuyasha's mood only got worse as the day went by. After three weeks in Kagome's world, the air thick and stifling, the noises so loud, all he wanted was to come home to a little peace and quiet. Normally, he would just sit up in a tree and everyone would leave him alone, but Shippou was ever loyal to the job he had been assigned. So loyal in fact that he wouldn't exceed a distance of five feet from the hanyou, yet managed to stay just far enough away to avoid Inuyasha's fist. And as hard as Inuyasha tried to ignore him, the kit was as rambunctious as ever. As they walked towards the village, he would not stop chattering. By the time Shippou signaled to him that he could see Miroku approaching, Inuyasha was almost happy to see the monk.

"Inuyasha," Miroku waved when he came close enough, yet paused halfway and eyed him suspiciously, "Um… Are you… you?"

"I sure am," Inuyasha huffed, "Sorry to disappoint you."

"Don't worry, it's him," Shippou exclaimed, "He came back with Kagome, but she's off with Sango now so I'm supposed to watch him."

"Keh!"

Miroku visibly relaxed, "That's a relief. I suppose that makes sense. How was your trip, Inuyasha?"

Despite the fact that by some stroke of luck Miroku had not yet made any crude reference, Inuyasha still could feel his cheeks reddening at the question, remembering himself with irritating detail just what had happened while they were gone. "Fine." He bit out, a little too quickly.

Miroku couldn't help but raise his eyebrows at the look on the hanyou's face, but for whatever reason, he had decided to keep his mouth shut.

"And here? Anything happen while we were gone?" Inuyasha asked.

"Well, you'll be happy to know that we've had no disturbances from this imposter of yours. In fact, all the villagers nearby say they haven't seen anyone fitting the description."

"Why should I be happy about that?" Inuyasha said as he continued walking down the path and passed the monk, cracking his knuckles menacingly, "I've been looking forward to kicking his ass all this time."

Miroku cringed at the little sounds of popping, but walked alongside Inuyasha anyways. "I don't think we've seen the last of him. With you and Kagome back, he'll probably come out of hiding again."

Inuyasha's scowl darkened. As much as he wanted to track down Kokuei and finish him off, he hated the idea that they could only wait to be attacked again. Miroku was right. Now that they had returned to the Feudal Era, it was inevitable that Kokuei would renew attempts to kill Kagome, or himself. Secondary to all that, yet still at the forefront of his mind, was that as long as he had a look-alike out there going on a killing rampage, angry villagers out for revenge might come after Inuyasha instead. He hated the thought of being so vulnerable, but everywhere they could go, they would be in danger. At least if they waited here, they had the well.

"We'll keep asking around, and we'll have to make sure we're prepared when he does show up."

"Inuyasha," Miroku stated, "We really can't afford to lose track of you."

"I know that, monk."

"I think that… until we can find this guy, you shouldn't be left alone."

"Nani? So now everyone's going to follow me around like a damn pup?"

"You know it's necessary, Inuyasha. I understand that it frustrates you, but in truth no one will be able to tell you apart. This thing… all he has to do is pretend like he's you for a moment and we'll become easy targets. As long as at least one person is always with you there will always be at least one person who _knows _you're you."

Inuyasha's ears folded back. Of course, he couldn't really blame the monk for his doubt, but inside he couldn't help but feel just a little betrayed by the statement. "Damnit. I hate this."

Miroku sighed to himself, 'Even if he looks just like Inuyasha, I highly doubt anyone's attitude could compare to this one.'

Inuyasha's voice interrupted his thoughts, "If that's the case, then Kagome can't be left alone either. She trusts everything too easily."

Miroku nodded with a smirk, "We'll let the girls know."

"Damnit! Why do I get the feeling that you're gonna make this hell for me?"

His smile grew, "Don't know what you mean."

To be continued…

**Agh… I swear I don't even speak one language anymore. I've fallen somewhere between Spanish and English yet manage to still suck at both. My first draft of this chapter was filled with English words written with Spanish spelling. Hopefully I've managed to fix it. Speaking of which, here's something interesting, there actually exists a part of Spain where they speak Spanglish… normally… as in like a normal language… fantastic… **

**BTW, the birth control directions used in this chapter are only for one brand. I don't know if the same directions apply for all, so I'm just going to go with the info I have. **


	34. Ch 34: Frustration

Chapter 34: Frustration

Kagome clutched the now useless Shikon no Tama to her chest, her gaze lingering between the wooden floor before her and the open door way. She could no longer feel the jewel's aura. It was nothing more than a ball of glass. Still she held onto it – a nervous habit maybe – as though she were still bound to protect it. Subconsciously assuming there were yet more shards to be found, she had to remind herself time and again that this quest was over. Often she wondered how their lives would change now that the jewel was completed and destroyed. What sort of normal life would Sango and Miroku settle down to? In what way would she and Inuyasha follow?

"Something troubles you, child?" Kaede asked, in her sweet grandmotherly tone. From across the small hut, the old miko sat once again over a boiling pot, mixing the toxins of various plants into medicine, as she often did.

Kagome had practically forgotten she was there, as lost in thought as she was. "I'm fine, I guess. Just a little stressed out."

"Don't worry yourself too much. You will need to stay alert for when Kokuei makes his appearance."

Kagome sighed and leaned her head back against the wall, the very statement seeming to exhaust her mind. It had been little over two weeks since they had arrived back in the Feudal Era, and there had not been a single sign of Kokuei since. Occasionally, they had visited nearby villages and asked if anyone resembling Inuyasha had been seen, but the answer was always the same. No one had seen Kokuei or anything out of the ordinary. It was as if he had vanished into thin air. She supposed it wasn't that far from the truth. Kokuei _did _in fact vanish into thin air when they had last seen him.

Only two weeks of waiting and everyone was already growing agitated, including herself. The new ground rules applied for Inuyasha and Kagome's safety weren't shaping up well for anyone. The others, either paranoid or just very consistent, had not faltered once in their constant supervision of both hanyou and miko. Inuyasha, who she knew at times just needed some time to himself, was followed everywhere by either Shippou or Miroku, or both. Kagome herself was rarely without the company of Sango, and occasionally Kaede. With each passing day, their patience grew shorter and shorter.

It wasn't enough that they couldn't find any peace alone, Inuyasha and Kagome couldn't even steal a few moments alone with each other. Though Kagome insisted that she was just as suited to follow Inuyasha around herself, the others adamantly argued that it was simply too risky to lose track of both of them at the same time. It was driving her crazy, to not actually _be _with him even when he was just a few feet away from her. They had made due with what they could. At night when everyone else was asleep was the only time when they could find a little bit of relief. Many nights, Inuyasha had silently roused her from her sleep just so he could kiss her without the others looking on. And every time she would give in to what precious little time she had, she found the moment always ended far too soon. They were always quiet and careful, no matter how desperate they were to just run away together for one night alone. She had tried to convince him multiple times to sneak away with her just once, but he refused. Though he agreed that doing so would do no harm to them, it would only create further problems with the others, who might seek to isolate him from her even more if they weren't certain of his true identity. As much as she understood and agreed with his reasoning, she couldn't help but feel embittered towards Inuyasha for refusing her. Growing more and more frustrated by her complete lack of privacy, she felt in a very strange way as though Inuyasha were ignoring her needs unfairly.

Inuyasha, apparently, was just as ill-tempered as she was, though she had no way of telling through her frayed emotions whether he was just as frustrated as she was or just being an insensitive jerk. So very aloof at times from her and the others, all Kagome wanted to do was cry, or scream at him, yet at the same time wanted nothing more than for him to hold her. They had snapped at each other more than a few times since they had gotten back. As usual, the argument was always centered on something stupid or irrelevant, but their tempers escalated more rapidly than ever before, and left the whole group in a sour mood. These fights never ended with an apology or a bending of wills. Instead, they just let their anger stew inside them until they were at some level furious with each other. Inuyasha hadn't kissed her at night in the past four days, and that was enough to practically send Kagome over the edge.

"_Come back here so I can kill you, runt!" _Inuyasha's voice sounded in the distance.

"Aaaah!" Moments later, Shippou burst through the door and straight into Kagome's arms, "Save me, Kagome!"

Not far behind, a visible irate Inuyasha stormed in and straight up to her, where the kitsune still quivered in her arms. She automatically and protectively wrapped her arms tightly around Shippou, knowing from experience that Inuyasha was blowing something completely out of proportion.

"Don't protect the little brat! He has it coming!" Inuyasha yelled as he clenched his fist.

Kagome calmly looked down at the kitsune, ignoring the hanyou's hot glare, "What happened, Shippou-chan?"

Inuyasha interjected, as Shippou took a breath, "He fucking pulled my ears!"

"You hit me!" Shippou shouted.

"Well, _somebody's _gotta do it! You deserve it for being so fucking annoying all the time!"

Kagome narrowed her eyes at him, "He's just a child, Inuyasha. I don't care what he did. Nothing gives you the right to hit a child."

He didn't fail to notice the challenge in her voice. "What do you know? This damn brat and that monk have been followed me around for days! They won't fucking leave me alone!"

"And you don't think it's been the same for me?" Kagome countered, her voice chipped like ice, "They won't leave me alone either. That doesn't mean I'm going to go around hitting innocent people!"

"Oh yeah? Haven't you forgotten something?"

"What's that?"

"You osuwari me every chance you get!"

"That's not hitting!"

"You've osuwaried me nine times!"

Kagome got to her feet and glared hard, "Want to make it an even ten?"

Shippou meanwhile cowered in the corner and watched the scene unfold, though thankful that at least for now he was out of harm's way.

"I ain't afraid of you or this necklace! I'm just saying you're being a fucking hypocrite! And I'm tired of everybody following me around all the time! I just want to be left alone!"

The words cut her deep, but she wouldn't let him see it. She couldn't give him that benefit. "You're the one with an evil twin walking around somewhere! I suppose you have a better plan!"

"_You_ are the one always getting into trouble! I'm not the one who needs to be watched!"

"Fine, then! Since I'm obviously such a burden, don't waste your time on me. You wanna be alone? Go be alone somewhere else!"

"Gladly!" Inuyasha shouted before he turned his back on her, storming back out the door once again, and making the hut shake as he banged his fist at the wall.

Just outside, she could hear Miroku beginning to question the hanyou, only to be met with a loud yell of "Leave me the fuck alone!"

The sounds of two sets of footsteps slowly moved away. Kagome sniffled, determinedly forcing back indignant tears as she moved to the doorway. She pushed back the bamboo curtain just in time to see Miroku hurriedly following Inuyasha into the woods. To her dismay, the hanyou's shouts of anger didn't give her any feeling of accomplishment. They only left her feeling emptier than before. Her loud sigh brought the kitsune to her side, hopping up onto her shoulder. "Kagome?"

"It's fine, Shippou-chan. Just… don't pull Inuyasha's ears, okay. It just isn't nice."

"O-okay… I'll just go follow the others."

With that, Shippou too gave chase to find the hanyou and monk. Kagome leaned against the doorframe and rubbed her face with her hands. Her fights with Inuyasha grew shorter and shorter, and more tiresome with each passing day. The weather outside should have been a beautiful thing, and yet she didn't have the strength anymore to take pleasures in the small things around her. Spring was completely lost as far as she was concerned. Spring ought to symbolize freedom, and yet she never felt more trapped.

"Such distress will only serve your enemy, Kagome," came Kaede's reply from behind her.

Still hovering over her boiling pot, the old woman's face was still calm and wise. There always was something about Kaede that seemed to portray wisdom. She worked swiftly with her hands, yet the profound look on her face didn't waver.

"Kaede-ba-chan?"

"It is a dangerous thing, I think, having an enemy so ready-made to manipulate the heart. It has already been proven to you that we cannot trust what we merely see."

Kagome knew instinctively what she referred to. Her discovery of Kokuei in Naraku's castle had nearly ended her life, not to mention it had put Inuyasha and Kagome's entire relationship on the line.

Kaede went on, "From what you've told me, this Kokuei is more than just a replication of Inuyasha, but is rather a part of him that has been removed and tainted."

"What do you mean?"

"Inuyasha told me what Kokuei had said to him. What he said strikes me as odd. He said he and Inuyasha were one and the same, that he was Inuyasha's darkest desires, violent instincts, the power he was never willing to take, as he fell victim to the idiocies of the human race…"

Kagome clutched the jewel tighter, "Inuyasha's youkai…"

"Perhaps," Kaede replied, "Though my guess is that there is more to it than that. Inuyasha in his youkai form was a mindless killer. From what I understand, Kokuei is just as cunning as he is vicious. The hesitation and patience he maintained before actually pursuing you suggests to me that he has been planning something, and such a thing I don't think Inuyasha's youkai could do alone."

"But who else is there? Who could be working with him?"

"Well, if my guess is right, this person would be someone who is no longer in the picture. Someone who could by some magic extract Inuyasha's youkai and also bestow it with a certain level of intelligence. Someone else who so patiently waited for you to come to him."

"Naraku…" Kagome mused with a gasp, "You're saying Naraku creating Kokuei?"

"I can think of none other who could perform such a feat, nor another who would seek to harm you by fooling with your heart."

Kagome sighed and stared outside towards the spring sky, the shining sun at odds with her sense of foreboding, "If that's the case, then we will have a more difficult fight that we thought."

"And that is why you must not let your worry control you. Inuyasha is difficult, I know, but at this point, you can't afford to be on bad terms with him. You're both suffering with this new arrangement, I understand, but you must not take it out on each other."

After a few moments of reflection on this, Kagome bowed her head and nodded.

"_Oi, Kagome!" _She could hear Inuyasha calling from outside.

Kagome rolled her eyes and sighed as she stomped out to confront him again.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

"Kikyo…"

Though startled as he addressed her, she raised her head slowly. From her seat in the corner, she looked like a prisoner, yet this had been her only sanctuary for days. Gently, stepping away from her darkened space, she approached him, taking small comfort in knowing that here, she was protected.

He stared out the window, to the outside world, though he wasn't really staring at anything at all. She knew by now this look about him. That coldness yet firmness in his eyes could only mean the wheels in his head were turning. Most of the time, he lacked any emotion in his eyes, so when that flicker in his gaze would change, she knew immediately that whatever he said would hold some great importance. He never said anything without a purpose.

She approached him by the windowsill, stopping a few feet behind him. He did not turn to acknowledge her. "He has returned. Did you know?"

"Inuyasha…" She thought out loud with a sad smile lingering on her cheeks, "He couldn't stay away forever."

The chill in the room was nearly stifling. Her dead body shouldn't feel the cold, and yet she found herself shivering from her toes all the way up to her back. The desire was still too great, the need to see the hanyou she had lost once again. How long had it been since she had laid eyes on him?

"You know what this means, miko," he replied, "If this information has made its way to me now, then _he _must surely be informed of it as well by this time."

Her eyes were downcast and mournful, "There is not a doubt in my mind, as well."

"Then you must know that your time has come," he said. Turning finally away from the spring scenery, he turned his gaze upon her, "I have done all I can to help you, but even you know you cannot hide away forever."

She shivered again, "I know. I've never been one to hide away."

"I… _we _are forever indebted to you, but I can only do so much to aid you. Kokuei will return shortly, probably within the week, and if you plan to keep to your vow you must do so now."

She turned and retreated to the corner once again, resuming her place on the shadowed futon. She could have sworn she felt tears in her eyes, but it must have only been her imagination, for when she touched her eyelids with her fingertips, they came back dry as bone.

"Are you afraid, Kikyo?"

"… Yes."

"You don't deny it?"

She gave a sadistic smile, "Sesshoumaru-sama… You forget that I am a miko, a servant of God. What good would it do for me to lie?"

"Well put."

"I'll be gone by nightfall… and I thank you."

To be continued…

**Eh… whatever. Sort of a filler chapter, but I gotta keep the rhythm of the story, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. As always, the only thing keeping me anchored to the English language is this fic, so any input about my abilities as a writer would be much appreciated. Please keep telling me how I'm doing.**

**And I promise the next chapter will be better. (hugs)**


	35. Ch 35: Quick Attack

Chapter 35: Quick Attack

"_Oi, Kagome!" _She could hear Inuyasha calling from outside.

Kagome rolled her eyes and sighed as she stomped out to confront him again. "What is it this time?"

She didn't have a moment to blink before she was yanked to the left by her wrist. She gave a little yelp as her neck was stretched in a way it definitely shouldn't be. Inuyasha pulled her away from the doorway, his eyes looking around cautiously, in a display she could pinpoint all too well. The silent gesture that danger was near. Mouth open wide to yell at him for grabbing her so roughly, her face dropped before she could utter a sound. Years of battle had trained her reactions well. Immediately alert, losing all previous anger, she focused as he did, though confusedly, around the area to locate the intruder.

"Finally," he whispered to himself, but just loud enough for her to hear him.

"Inuyasha, what is it? What do you sense?"

"Let's go… Quickly! We've gotta move!" He muttered low in his throat.

He pulled her along with him in a half run towards the spread of forest cover. Kagome vaguely realized her had left her bow and arrows back in Kaede's hut, and would be completely useless when the youkai finally caught up with them, and she knew Inuyasha wasn't bound to run away from a fight. In fact he was probably aching to have one, since it had been so long. Just as long as he didn't get mad at her later for not being armed…

Surprisingly, once they were both safe behind the cover of trees and shrubbery not too far away, he stopped them both, turning his face to stare back at the grassy clearing from whence they came. She stared on with him, apprehending anxiously the appearance of some monstrous beast intent on destroying the entire village.

… Until he let out a loud sigh. "Thank God. I didn't think I was ever gonna get away from them."

Her rising panic came to a halt, and she regarded him in slight shock, "Nani?"

"Come on, Kagome," said Inuyasha, "I'm tired of all this shit. I'm tired of them following us around all the time."

The frustration in his tone was just as clear as it had been moments ago, only this time it was tainted with a little bit of desperation that made Kagome's heart stir within her chest. His eyes were bright, pleaded with the deepness of his gaze, asking a question she did not yet understand.

"Let's leave. Anywhere… let's just get away from these damn people. At least through the well where we'll be safe."

"But Inuyasha…" She murmured, her voice fast losing its strength. The implications of what he asked, the exhausted sound of his voice, the need to get away _with _her rather than get away _from _her like she had thought moments ago, she couldn't help her heart from quickly surging in her chest. The idea of escaping so she could be alone with him… just for a little while… just for a few minutes…

"Please, Kagome," he pleaded sternly, "Just this once. I just need to get us away from all this for a little while."

And she was sold. Not a moment after he said it, her cheeks turned up an enchanted smile, so full of unbridled joy. Suddenly, the knowledge that she was needed and wanted seemed so much clearer. She felt refreshed, as though a gentle wave had washed over her, erasing the disgusting feeling of being so without him for so long. How could she deny it? For days now, all she wanted was to be alone with Inuyasha for just a little while, just so she could maybe kiss him a little and hold on to him like she did when they were at her house.

Her gaze as she looked into his eyes told him clearly that she would follow him to the ends of the earth if he had asked her too. He smiled sweetly. "Come on."

She nodded, kicking up her feet and followed swiftly behind him as though his speed wouldn't be a problem. She didn't care how far they went or if she had to run the entire way there. He held onto her hand, pulling her along. She was about to ask him why she couldn't just get on his back, when all of a sudden, Inuyasha halted in front of her and turned again, sending Kagome careening into his chest. He caught her by the arms.

"You will _not _succeed!"

Kagome, too, froze as she was. The cold voice, powerful and yet eerie, brushed over her memory like the wing of a bird. A voice that made her nerves shiver with cold, and yet such a frightening thing had been so easily forgotten. Turning slowly, as though in slow motion, her eyes took in the long-forgotten image of her competition and previous-self… "Kikyo…"

The dead miko however, did not appear to acknowledge Kagome's presence. Her angry eyes instead focused on the hanyou behind her, who had yet to make any move or sound. But the look in Kikyo's eyes wasn't what disturbed her the most. It was the arrow that she had knocked and aimed directly towards them. A new fear filled her heart. Did Kikyo find out that Inuyasha and Kagome were romantically involved? Did she then, so distraught over losing Inuyasha again, decide to take her revenge by killing them both?

It all happened too fast. Not a minute ago, Inuyasha had dragged her away into the forest for a well-deserved private rendezvous. Not seconds later, Kikyo shows up with her weapon set to kill them. Kagome's mind, racing a mile a minute, couldn't even utter a sound as Kikyo's bow creaked under pressure when it was stretched back just a little farther.

But someone did react. The hanyou grabbed onto Kagome tightly, placing her in front of him…

… One of his claws grazing against her neck.

"You bitch! I've come too far to be stopped by the likes of you!"

And in that moment, Kagome only knew one thing for sure… That this hanyou was definitely _not _Inuyasha.

And out of pure fear, instinct, confusion, without realizing the seriousness and delicacy of the situation, she let out the loudest scream she could muster. Kikyo cringed in disgust at the loud sound, knowing that the damn girl was only going to make this more difficult, but Kagome's mind was gone by then. Sheer panic was enough to illicit the impulse to shriek. So powerful it was that birds flew from the trees around them.

Kikyo's tightened her grip. Kagome would be of no help in this one. She was on her own, and she had to act now. Taking quick aim, she released her arrow. "Die, Kokuei!"

The pseudo-hanyou did indeed cower away, but not before pushing Kagome forward in a last attempt to block the arrow. The arrow did not strike Kagome, but it did graze her neck. A small trail of blood followed in the wake as Kagome gave a small gasp of pain. The arrow didn't even hit its intended target. Before it could strike, Kokuei vanished into thin air once again, and the arrow hit the tree behind where he once stood.

Kagome hit the ground hard, holding her hand out just in time to block her teeth from being knocked out. The impact left her insides feeling like putty, but she didn't take the time to recover from the pain. She quickly moved her body just enough to lift her head. But her eyes only met the tranquility of the forest.

Both Kokuei and Kikyo had vanished.

She could feel her heart racing in her chest. Her mind was so boggled by both what had happened and her fall, she half-expected she was dead already and just didn't know it yet. Somehow the forest was just as peaceful as always. There wasn't even a sign that anything had happened at all, almost as though she had imagined it all. However, her eyes did catch a glimpse of the feathers of the arrow, embedded in the tree. Her eyes squinted to look closer at the arrow.

'Kikyo… Kokuei… are they…?'

"_Kagome!" _She heard Inuyasha bellow in the distance.

Her spirit was still in shambles and unable to find comfort in the fact that he was coming. Somehow, it only made the realization of her mistake so much worse. Like having him come to her rescue truly did make her weak. Tears welled up behind her eyelids as she squeezed them shut, unwilling to let herself cry in front of him and prove herself right. Alas, she never was very good at holding back tears.

Inuyasha rushed into the scene, or lack thereof. Tetsusaiga was long since transformed and ready in his hands for battle. Even without making a strike, the presence of the sword gave off a very soft and eerie timbre. He halted behind her tense and well-prepared to deal out the Kaze no Kizu. He realized just as quickly as she had that there was nothing to be found. Furious that he had just missed the enemy from escaping, he growled loudly, "Show your face, you bastard! I'm ready! I'll take you down right here!"

As if to demonstrate his point, with one quick swing, he took down the nearest tree. The blade cut through the five-foot trunk like it was paper, and the tree came crashing to the ground beside them. Kagome winced as the fall echoed in the ground beneath her. Loosened leaves fluttered and cascaded all around them, the remaining birds hiding in the shelter of the branches scattered through the air. Yet in spite of the disturbance, there wasn't another movement throughout the forest.

"Damnit!" Inuyasha swore in almost a whisper.

Kagome was biting her lip to keep back her tears as she pulled herself up to a sitting position. The movement reminded her of the scratch on her neck that was very slowly dripping blood. She raised her hand to press against the minute wound. It still hurt. Little deeper than a paper-cut, the feeling was nearly the same. Luckily it wouldn't cause any permanent damage.

It was at this point that Inuyasha apparently remembered she was there. He quickly rushed to her side, sheathing his sword as he sank to his knees. He reached for her, "Kagome! What happened?"

That was enough. The first sobs had to force their way out of her throat before her defenses crumbled, allowing more to follow without resistance. Naturally, this reaction didn't seem to Inuyasha to be a positive response. His relief at finding her safe was suddenly put to shame, replaced by a fear that he really might have been too late. "What is it? Kagome, please, tell me what happened." All the while he was fumbling with his hands as he reached out to touch her, not sure what he could do to console her when he himself was losing his wits, "Was it Kokuei? Who was it?"

"You know perfectly damn well who it was!" She belted out, causing Inuyasha to lean away.

"Kagome…"

"Just forget it! I know! I'm an idiot! You can save your breath!"

About at this time, the others arrived on the scene, though they didn't arrive nearly as abruptly. Seconds before they had heard Inuyasha and Kagome talking… or arguing. They approached quietly, and sighed when they realized that at least everyone was safe.

"What the hell, Kagome? Why are you acting like this?" Inuyasha growled.

"What do you care? Just leave me alone! I don't wanna see you right now!"

Kagome sloppily brushed off her clothes and her cheeks as she got to her feet. The concerned and sympathetic looks on her friends' faces didn't help her emotions at all, but at least her seething appearance kept their mouths shut. She stormed passed them without another glance, back towards the hut. The others followed, as they always did, Inuyasha in the lead and clearly furious as well. They arrived shortly back at the hut, but Kagome was not in the hut. Inuyasha saw her plop down on the grass on the opposite side, facing the view of the valley.

The hanyou tightened his jaw and rolled his shoulders. He had barely taken a step when he remembered the others were right behind him. He scowled without even turning to acknowledge them, "Okay… honestly… you'd better not fucking follow me. Just stay here. It's close enough. We'll be right there."

Amazingly enough, the group decided it was a perfectly acceptable demand. They would still be able to see them in the distance even if they couldn't hear them. However Inuyasha didn't even bother to show his gratitude for that. For now, he was just angry and frankly, quite worried. He approached her, but paused some feet away just to make sure she wouldn't lash out again. But what he saw didn't really make him feel any better. Kagome sat with her legs pulled up and her arms folded over her knees. Her face was pressed into her sleeves, but he could still hear her light sobs. He grimaced at the sounds.

She noticed as he sat down beside her, but turned her face away from him. He didn't even look her way. He just stared at the grass in front of him. He was trying not to provoke her anger, but to Kagome the distance between them suddenly seemed so huge. Close enough to show concern yet not close enough to touch, it was like he was teasing her emotions. She hugged her knees tighter. When they were just friends, this was how it was when they used to sit together. Never touching, barely talking, both lost in their own separate thoughts.

"Did he hurt you?" Inuyasha asked carefully.

It took her a moment to respond as she drew in a heartening breath. "No."

Inuyasha grimaced harder, and clutched the grass in his palms, "Did he touch you?"

Her first thought was that he in fact did grab onto her, but it was clear that wasn't the kind of touch Inuyasha was thinking of. "No," she said louder, more firmly.

Inuyasha closed his eyes in a silent show of relief, and then inhaled a refreshing breath of his own. "So what's wrong then?"

He was trying to be patient. She knew he was. In truth, inside he was worried about what had happened. When he had stormed away from her just minutes ago, he had been so infuriated, frustrated, and closed off. And the monk and kitsune had followed him as always, only adding to his irritation. But her screams through the forest had pierced the quiet of the village and the very limits of his anger. He had run to her in a blur of speed, only knowing with certainty that he was ready to die in her defense if necessary, and without knowing what horrid reality he might have to face… He might have been too late. He couldn't even begin to think how he would have handled that.

Kagome tried as best she could to suck it up. "I'm okay. I'm okay. I just… I made a mistake, okay?"

Inuyasha sighed and took a moment to gather his thoughts and choose the right words, "Why were you with him?"

"He looks like you, remember?"

"Yeah, but… We're supposed to… We said we wouldn't go anywhere without one of the others."

She was silent for a moment. "He just… said things that made me believe."

He couldn't deny that made him quite mad, but he wasn't about to berate her for being so trusting when she was in such a fragile state. "What did he say?"

"He… You… He said he wanted to get away, just the two of us… So we could be alone for a little while."

The pang of guilt in his chest could have made him sick. God, how many times had he wanted to do just that? Everyday being watched by the others, he couldn't even get time to think let alone be with Kagome. There were nights when he would get up just to kiss her, all the time wanting to carry her away just for the night so they could be alone. Everyday it got harder and harder, and the more difficult it became to deal with even their little arguments. He just never assumed that Kagome was feeling the same way.

He turned his head to face her, "So you followed him because… you thought I wanted to spend some time with you."

She visibly shivered, "Yea…"

"Kagome…" He reached for her.

And then his arms were full of Kagome. She all but leapt into him with a strangled cry, and he hurriedly caught her fall. She embraced him around the torso and pressed her cheek to the crook of his neck. More tears fell, cruelly tickling his skin, as he struggled to steady her frazzled spirit. The panic he could feel in her presence was as vivid as ever, as though it were his own. His arms gently wrapped around her, shrouding her body from the shoulders down in his long red sleeves. She pressed deeper into him, nearly causing him to fall backwards, and so he held on tighter.

"I was so scared," she whimpered, then pressed her face into his haori to cry some more.

His ears drooped. He nuzzled his nose into her hair for a moment, desperately but calmly offering her some small measure of his affection. Often it never seemed enough to do such simple things as though they could solve any problem, and yet it was proven to him time and again that she somehow found it enough. Though he could never make sense of it, it would be enough for him just to find a piece of sanctuary in her arms, even if just for a moment. Perhaps that was all she needed too.

He wanted to tell her to shut up, that she shouldn't be so weak and scared for something so useless, because he would always come through for her in the end. It didn't matter what else could happen, just as long as her emotions would stop ripping at his soul. It cut him deep to feel her so petrified, though if truth be told, he was just as guilty of fear as she was. He wasn't afraid very often, but when he was, it always came back to her. And today, he once again knew true fear. When she quieted down enough to hear it, he told her, "When I heard you scream back there… God, it scared the crap out of me." She tightened her grip on him, as though she were offering him some comfort too, even when she had none for herself. The slowly dissipating panic inside him was suddenly wiped clean. The joy of being with her was like a revelation; she was still beside him safe and sound. He smiled as best he could, "But you're safe now, right?"

It wasn't so much a question. It was more of a statement. It was the eternal vow that they both were safe as long as they were together. It was knowledge so pure and certain that it could conquer 500 years if it had to.

And she believed. Back in his arms again, she felt like she was finally with him again. She felt loved, she felt needed, she felt safe once more. "Yeah… I am."

He turned her head just enough to kiss her, just to seal his vow. It felt like it had been too long. She sighed against his lips, making him smile against hers. He clutched her to him as his mind took a turn for radiance. She lost her mind in the taste of him, drunk on the loss of breath, the cadence of her blood flow. He pulled her soul forward to meet his gentle tongue as she surrendered her fears to his will. He coaxed her softly with his tongue, not a full-on passionate kiss but enough to express his care. She responded to him, opening her mouth to suck on his lips and tongue, teasing him sweetly just as he did her. The quiet of the world was beautiful, and yet invisible. The warmth around them was bubbly, tickling, refreshing. It was enough to keep the memory stored away forever, and enough to stop Kagome's tears.

When the kiss ended, they didn't part right away. Inuyasha took a moment to nuzzle her forehead again before pulling back enough to look into her eyes. "Can you tell me what happened? Maybe it'll help us find where he went."

She sniffled a bit, but he was happy to see she was doing much better. "Well, I heard your voice outside of the hut, so I went outside. And then Kokuei… or you I guess… dragged me to the edge of the forest. He told me that he wanted to go away with me just for a while, that he was sick of everyone following him around."

'Shit,' Inuyasha thought to himself, 'He knows about that?'

"And so I followed him, and then…" She shot her head up, "Kikyo!"

"Huh? Kikyo?"

"She was there! She found us when we were walking. She stopped us and fired her arrow at us."

Inuyasha cringed, noticing the small drip of blood on Kagome's neck. He touched around the wound delicately with his fingers. "Is that what this is?"

"Yeah," she murmured quietly.

The hanyou's look darkened. "Damnit! I… What the hell was she thinking?"

In another moment, Inuyasha had pulled them both to her feet. "Come on. She can't have gone far."

"What?" Her face turned somewhat indignant. "You're going after her NOW!"

"Damnit, Kagome! She tried to kill you! Now _we _are going to find her so I can give her a piece of my mind!"

Kagome's face dropped slightly in astonishment as Inuyasha grabbed her hand and pulled her along with him. Miroku and Sango, noticing the couple's return, shot to their feet and approached. Before they could ask any questions, the perturbed hanyou spoke up, "Come on. We're going back to look for clues. With any luck, we'll be able to track both of them down."

"Both?" Sango mumbled as they began walking.

Inuyasha still guided Kagome by the wrist, clearly not willing to separate himself from her anytime soon. Kagome turned her head back to respond to Sango, "It was Kokuei and… Kikyo."

Miroku and Sango gasped. "Kikyo-sama?'

"I'll explain later. Right now, we've gotta look for the arrow she shot. And maybe Inuyasha can sense where Kokuei or Kikyo went."

They arrived quickly back at the scene. Kagome immediately pointed to the tree that Inuyasha had felled earlier. She approached the trunk, and leaned down to push some leaves aside. The arrow was still embedded in the trunk. She removed it as Inuyasha came to stand beside her. After gazing at the arrow itself, he lowered his ears and scowled. "That's Kikyo's arrow, all right."

"How can you tell?" Asked Miroku.

"She used this kind of arrow on me once before, remember? Plus… I can smell her here."

"You can?"

"Yeah." He walked around the area, in a circle, and then circled twice, until finally coming to a pause and clenching his fists. "Damnit! Her scent doesn't lead anywhere."

"And Kokuei?"

"He has the same scent as me. I can't smell him at all."

"Kagome-chan," Sango spoke up, "Do you sense anything?"

"… No. There's nothing. Just the miko's power in this arrow."

"What the hell? This is bullshit!"

"Inuyasha…"

Kagome didn't get an answer. The hanyou stomped back towards the hut. She ran to catch up with him. Before she could ask him what was wrong, he cut her off, "Don't worry, Kagome. We'll get them… Both of them."

She averted her gaze and narrowed her eyes slightly, "Even if we do, you don't truly believe you could kill Kikyo, do you?"

Inuyasha stopped walking, and let his gaze fall to the ground. Kagome held onto his arm. "It's okay. I wouldn't expect you to."

"She tried to kill you, Kagome." He looked so torn.

"Truly… I don't think she did." Kagome sighed, "There's no better archer than Kikyo. If she wanted to kill me, I would have had a whole lot more than just a scratch on the neck."

Miroku approached, "You're saying Kikyo was aiming for Kokuei?"

"I suppose it's possible. The arrow hit just where Kokuei had been standing. But… I'm not completely sure. As soon as I got up they were both gone."

Miroku responded, "Inuyasha. Couldn't this mean that Kikyo is in battle with Kokuei as well?"

Kagome felt Inuyasha's arm tense. She spoke up, "We should go looking for her, you know. Make sure she's all right. If Kikyo is also enemies with Kokuei, she shouldn't be out there all alone."

"No." Inuyasha replied bluntly.

"No?" Everyone else mimicked.

Inuyasha gave a deep sigh, shut his eyes for a few moments, and rolled his neck. "I can't track where she's gone. She could be anywhere. But Kokuei knows where we are and has just been waiting around for a crack in our plan. If he plans to strike again, we can't afford to go too far. Worse comes to worse, if we have to, we'll need to use the well."

"Inuyasha… You're talking about running away." Miroku pointed out.

"It ain't running away," Inuyasha retorted, "God, do you always have to be so difficult, hoshi."

"No, no! I think it makes perfect sense." Sango replied.

"Inuyasha," Kagome dropped her voice so only he could hear her, "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

He turned to look at her, and let out a breath before letting the edges of his lips lift a little. True, it would be hard for him to deal with the fact that Kikyo was out there somewhere alone, possibly tracking down Kokuei as well. But Kikyo wouldn't be seen until she wanted to be seen. As for Kagome, she was his responsibility, and he would never let his hesitations for his first love get in the way of protecting his new love. He now owed his allegiance and his heart to Kagome alone. "I won't put you in any danger, Kagome. We're staying here."

Kagome sighed and leaned against him, "I hope she's alright."

"Yeah," Inuyasha sighed as his insides began to feel queasy, "Me too."

……………………………………………………………………………………………

He watched her in the dark, sighing as her chest moved up and down with every breath she took. He leaned up on his elbow to get a better look at her. With his hanyou eyes he could see her well-enough, but the darkness made her skin look a dark blue. Her dark hair was highlighted by little cracks of moonlight that appeared through the window.

'Beautiful,' was the only thing he could think.

Inuyasha moved closer to her, wanting to be nearer, to touch her, to smell her. He wrapped his arm around her waist, intertwining his fingers with hers, and pulled her back gently into him. She moved only slightly, and her head turned as she opened her eyes only slightly to look at him. He was certain that she wasn't really awake, but she did smile at him for just a brief moment, and he knew she was happy. She fell back asleep instantly, and Inuyasha took his time to smell her hair and press delicate kisses into her shoulder.

Happiness at times seemed too simple a thing. It was too hard for him to stay so far away from her all these days, and it only took today for him to realize just how much he missed being with her like this, to the point where he was turning his irritable attitude on Kagome herself. Little had he known that she had also suffered the ache of being so seemingly far away from him. All it took in the end was a kiss, a moment to embrace, and it was enough for at least a little while, for both of them.

The hanyou sighed sadly to himself, 'Baka! All that shit that went down today was because of you. Kagome only wanted to spend some time with you, and you've been ignoring her like a plague.'

He cringed at his own reprimanding thoughts, and looked for a little solace in Kagome by running his thumb over her fingers and pressing his cheek into her upper back so he could hear her heartbeat. It was there, strong just as her heart was strong. The noise lulled him to sleep, leaving room for just one final thought, 'When was Kagome's birthday again?'

To be continued…

**Whew! As always… Anyways, I'm hoping you enjoyed the fluffiness I managed to squeeze in. And I know the whole encounter with Kokuei is very quick and random, but the craziness is supposed to relay what Kagome's experience is during all this, being all confused and rushed and the like.**

**Hey! You know, I really miss English right now. Anyone want to talk to me? It's easy! All you have to do is write me a little something, pretty please! I swear 'lol' is starting to feel like an actual word. **


	36. Ch 36: That Sly Hanyou

Chapter 36: That Sly Hanyou

The very nature of her body was defied by the way she ran. Somewhere in her mind she couldn't understand why her lungs breathed in so deeply the air that would not aid her in any way. Her thin sandals did little to protect her feet from the pointed ground, and it stung even if she did not bleed. Yet for the first time in over 50 years, she felt an odd and ironic sense of thrill. It was the thrill of battle, of energy, and the pursuit of evil. The air that flowed through her body and the pounding of her insides as she ran almost made Kikyo feel like she was alive again. She recalled the satisfaction of a chase, the pride of destroying a youkai threat to her village, the calm of her healing abilities even as her heart continued to ache. This burdened and tiresome life she once knew, she realized she _still _knew. But for the first time in a long time, she understood why she had chosen this path so full of strife.

She could feel him now. Even as he hid in the shadows, her mind could sense his cunning and his anger. She knew he pursued her, and in fact, he had been for quite a time now. She really had been chasing him too, though she hadn't a clue where to begin. But after what must have been a half an hour of running in this direction, they had to be far enough away from any village. There was no doubt in her mind that any passerby would seek to help her.

Kikyo would not let herself be helped. This was to be her battle alone.

She halted in the middle of a long stretching field of weeds, working grounds that had long been abandoned due to the unworkable soils that could not be saved. The browned leaves crumbled beneath her steps as easily as sand. Glancing around her, the night sky cast a shadow over everything in sight. It was sickening, knowing that within the shadows that stretched over all of Japan, Kokuei loomed ever closer, practically feeling where she was.

She bowed her head and closed her eyes, taking a moment to find peace in the soft breeze and the chirping of the crickets, before she raised her head once more and gazed into the nothingness, into the never-ending darkness that she knew withheld her grave. "I know you're out there, Kokuei, you coward. It's time I did what I should have done a long time ago."

"You're nothing but a fool, wench," she could hear his voice coming from nowhere, maybe even within her own mind, "You've thrown away any chance at life."

She smiled sadly and resolutely to herself, "Perhaps… But as long as I'm here, I cannot let you walk this earth."

And just as soon as she said it, he appeared. Not twenty yards away, wrapped in a red haori, she could have sworn it was Inuyasha come to rescue her. The pang of disappointment and pain in her heart was ever strong. The desire too great to look into Inuyasha's eyes just one more time. How hard had it been, back there when she had heard Inuyasha's voice, not to run back to him and fall into his embrace just so that she could feel one more time the tranquility of his presence. She didn't for only one simple reason. He was no longer hers to touch, and that realization tore deeper than any weapon ever could.

The wind suddenly picked up, blowing violently through his hair. He stared at her calmly, yet sternly. Her mind picked up a thought, a memory, from so long ago…

"_Hanyou, what is your name? You have a name, don't you? Unless it's just 'Hanyou'." _

"_Stop calling me 'hanyou' over and over!"_

"_Then tell me your name! I would have no reason to call you 'hanyou' anymore."_

"… _It's Inuyasha."_

"_Inuyasha, huh? I'll remember that."_

'Inuyasha,' she thought. That one thought, that one name, it was all she had left to care for, even if it was no longer hers to cherish. And now she faced his mirror image - faced Inuyasha - once again as an enemy.

"_Kikyo… I'll become human. I don't have any reservations. I'll become human."_

"_Inuyasha…"_

"_And since you've been alone all this time… I could-."_

"_Inuyasha… You don't need to say anything else."_

"_Kikyo… I want you to know-."_

She didn't know what it had been that had compelled her to kiss him then. The look in his eyes, the sound in his voice told her everything and yet nothing. All she knew right then was that she loved him, and somewhere behind his gruff exterior, perhaps he felt the same. Perhaps that was what he was trying to say all along.

Even if he didn't anymore, she could cherish this cursed memory of hers forever.

"I was mere moments away from destroying Kagome. If you hadn't interfered, she would be long gone, just as I know you would have wanted."

She gave off a sort of half-laugh, sounding almost evil herself. "You'd have me believe you'd then let Inuyasha live his life in peace? Not as though he could anyway."

"Nani?"

"Killing the girl would be no more than killing Inuyasha himself. Without her, he would fall to pieces, and you know that, don't you?" Kokuei grimaced harder. Kikyo knocked her bow with a purification arrow, "You'd take him down by destroying her. That is why I couldn't let you kill Kagome."

Kokuei smirked at that, though it looked far more angry than happy. "So you're out to protect Inuyasha's heart… How sickeningly noble of you."

"If saving Kagome means the prophecy will be fulfilled, if it means your end, then I can die in peace."

The blowing wind wrapped around her, squeezed her in a cold vice, scraped against her aura roughly, and she knew…

This was to be her final battle.

"You will die in _pieces_!" And he rushed forward.

No regrets.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Are you sure you'll need all that, Kagome-chan?" Sango asked.

"Absolutely," Kagome beamed, staring down at the pile of bathing supplies in her arms.

The overflowing mass of bottles was too much. One by one, they tumbled out of the miko's arms as she clumsily tried to catch them without dropping the rest, which in turn would fall as well. Under normal circumstances, the boys might have found this out-right laughable. Today, however, they were all sitting in the corner of Sango and Miroku's hut, silently avoiding the suddenly girlish atmosphere of the room as though it were contagious. "Keh!" Inuyasha scoffed, "Sure you have enough?"

She actually appeared to be considering it when Shippou jumped on her shoulder and peered down along with her, "What is all this stuff?"

"Let's see… Shampoo, conditioner, bath gel, bath oils, hair oils, exfoliator, loofas, lotion, razors…"

Miroku sighed, "Women. Apparently their nature hasn't changed even in 500 years."

"Razors?" Sango's eyes doubled in size, "Kagome-chan, we're women! What are we going to shave? Our heads?"

"Our legs," she continued at Sango's confused look, "It'll make them all smooth. You should try it. Come on, let's go!"

Somehow Kagome managed to fit all her supplies in one small bag and heaved it onto her shoulder. Sango got to her feet looking rather dubious, but intrigued, and turned to the kitsune. "Shippou-chan. You want to come with us?"

Shippou made a face. If this little excursion meant he would be smelling of flowers and shaving his legs, it was definitely not something he wanted to be a part of. "Um… that's okay. I'll stay here."

"Okay then. We'll see you guys in a while. And Inuyasha?" Sango asked pointedly, "Do keep Miroku away, will you?"

Inuyasha glared to the monk but nodded as Miroku sighed dejectedly.

"We'll be back in about an hour. Take care everyone," Kagome said as she stepped outside with Sango.

"Kagome, wait up a second!" Inuyasha called as he got to his feet.

Kagome turned around outside as he came out behind her. "What is it?"

"Look, um… I've been thinking. Since what happened yesterday, I was thinking that we should be a little safer."

Kagome suddenly glared at him, "You are not stopping me from having a bath, Inuyasha. Especially not now."

Inuyasha scowled. It was true that he did have the habit of forbidding her to bathe regularly ever since they began searching for Naraku, and it only escalated after their first encounter with Kokuei. Somehow the girls' bathing trips never worked out well for him. Miroku would cause trouble, some youkai would try to attack… either way he'd come rushing in to fix it only to be osuwaried into the water and yelled at. To the day he detested the rosary around his neck, but… "Not that," Inuyasha growled, "I just thought it would best that you 'sit' me if you ever happen to see me alone."

"Nani?" Everybody gasped as they stared with their mouths wide open.

Inuyasha flinched and made a face. Sure, he had expected them to be surprised – hell, _he_ was surprised at himself – but it sure would make it easier to do this if they didn't make a huge deal about him succumbing to the necklace. Kagome eventually asked, "Inuyasha… are you sure you want that?"

He sighed in defeat, "It's worked before, hasn't it?"

She remembered Inuyasha's first actual encounter with Kokuei, when she had to sit Inuyasha so that she could tell who was the enemy. "Yeah, I guess it has."

"Well I can't believe I'm even suggesting it, but… until we find this guy, you're gonna have to keep sitting me so everyone can tell me apart."

She stared at him silently for a moment longer, then gestured to Sango to look away for a moment. Without giving Inuyasha a chance to shy away, she leaned up to kiss him, yet pulled away before he could respond to it. "Thank you, Inuyasha. I'll see you later."

When she pulled away from him, he held onto her hand until she walked out of his reach. As she and Sango disappeared over the hill, Kagome looked back one more time to smile at him.

Inuyasha returned inside to a shocked Miroku and Shippou. The hanyou sank down against the wall, his eyes lingering on the doorway. Miroku spoke up, "I wouldn't worry too much, Inuyasha. She's with Sango, and you're with us."

Inuyasha grimaced, "Yeah yeah. Don't remind me. Anyways, it won't matter much longer anymore if they're together. Kokuei's sure to come back, and we can't have the girls too far away when he does."

Miroku only made a small grunting sound in affirmation. A long and very uncomfortable silence followed. Inuyasha's cheeks flushed. He knew Miroku was still pondering what he said to Kagome, and before he could evade it, the monk opened his mouth, "Exactly why are you letting her sit you?"

Inuyasha twitched a bit. It wasn't anything to be ashamed of, but being mentally analyzed by his friends for any reason didn't feel right. "Damnit! You heard me before. I already said why. As far as we know that's the only way to separate me from _him_."

"Still… it does strike me as odd how you've had such a change of heart on the subject… almost as though you like it…"

"Keh! There's no change of heart and I sure as hell don't like it! You guys are following us everywhere like a bunch of pups," he turned to glare at the monk, "but Kokuei knows exactly what you're doing, and all he needs is for you to look away one second for him to attack."

Miroku dropped his smirk and his analytical posture in lue of a more serious and profound gaze, "With all due respect, we are doing the best we can, and it doesn't help that you are constantly trying to get away from us."

Inuyasha grimaced and crossed his arms over his chest, "Yeah, and all you can do is fuck around with me the whole time."

Miroku sighed with a small smile, "I know it's frustrating for you, but as you said, we can't afford to let our guard down even for a second. This Kokuei is a powerful enemy, but not only that, he is also very evasive. I myself have yet to even lay eyes on him. Apparently, when faced with more than one opponent, he makes a strategic retreat. I don't know why he refuses to face us as a group, but I will not doubt he is every bit capable of doing so… I have heard of this type of maneuvering before, in certain bandit tribes, where they target single victims in order to avoid causing a group uproar, thereby keeping the advantage. If this is anything like what Kokuei is doing, then we can only survive if we keep track of where everyone is. This isn't just you, Inuyasha. Everyone needs to be looked after."

Inuyasha sighed, "It isn't that simple. What else can we do besides wait to be attacked? He knows exactly where we are and what we are doing, and we have no way of detecting him when he comes."

"In a way, that's no different from Naraku. He did seem to be one step ahead at all times. And yet we defeated him."

"It took us years to defeat Naraku. Am I supposed to be followed around for years until we defeat Kokuei so I can finally be left alone?" The hanyou cracked his knuckles, "Damnit. I can't stand it, just waiting here for Kokuei to make his move…"

"You yourself said yesterday you didn't want to travel too far from the well."

Inuyasha sighed, "I know, but… if things keep going like this, we'll have no choice but to go _somewhere_… anywhere he might have passed. If his plan is just to lay low until he finds a hole in our defense, then we'll have to confront him head-on before he gets a chance."

Miroku made himself more comfortable against the wall and silently thought to himself how remarkable it was that someone as brusque and irrational as Inuyasha could also have the strategic mind of a general. Or perhaps years of searching for Naraku had simply conditioned him to problem solving such as this. "So we'll begin our search tomorrow, then?"

Inuyasha nodded, "Yes… Wait! No. Not just yet. Kagome's birthday is in a few days and she'll be going back to see her family."

Miroku gave him a strong gaze, "Wait a minute, Inuyasha. We're not supposed to let either of you out of our sights. And we can't follow you through the well."

Inuyasha returned the look, "What do you expect me to do? Force her to stay away from her family on her birthday? Keh! No thanks. She'd sit me and go anyway."

The monk ran a hand over his face, "So what are we going to do, then?"

Inuyasha shrugged inertly as he lay down with his hands behind his head, "You do what you want, but Kagome's going home. Keh! If she's gonna sit me anyway every time she sees me, I ain't giving her anymore reason t…" He abruptly stopped speaking, and quickly pulled himself up to a sitting position again. "That's it."

"What's wrong, Inuyasha? Do you smell something?" Shippou asked worriedly.

"No. That's it! That's all we need to do!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

"What is?"

"Look… If Kagome's just gonna sit me whenever she finds me alone, then it won't even matter if you're there or not. She'll know it's me. And if you guys lose track of me, all Kagome has to do is sit me once you find me and everyone will know."

A good ten second pause followed, before Miroku muttered, "Unbelievable, Inuyasha. When did you begin to use that brain of yours?"

Inuyasha got to his feet. Miroku immediately backed himself into a corner, fearing that he would surely get hit for such a comment. Instead, the hanyou smirked triumphantly and exclaimed, "Keh! I'm right, aren't I? You morons won't be following me around anymore!"

Making a sound very suspiciously close to a laugh, Inuyasha made an easy stride towards the door. He was gone instantly. Shippou made a move to follow, then stopped and frowned to himself. Inuyasha's victorious 'laugh' was kinda scary. Miroku just sat there and scratched his head, wondering why they hadn't thought of Inuyasha's idea sooner, and why Inuyasha was so willing these days to get sat.

"Come on, Miroku," Shippou exclaimed, "He's getting away."

"No, Shippou," Miroku motioned for the kitsune to sit down again with his hand, "Believe it or not, I think Inuyasha has a point there."

Shippou sat cross-legged beside him, "So that means we don't have to look after Inuyasha anymore?"

Miroku nodded, though visibly he was still preoccupied with his thoughts, "It would seem so."

"Yay!" Shippou shouted as he leaned back against the wall, "It was too much work keeping track of him anyway."

Miroku agreed wholeheartedly but kept an uneasy gaze on the doorway. The bamboo curtain still flapped back and forth in the wake of the hanyou's quick exit. But in the end, the monk did grin at this strange turn of events. 'That sly hanyou… Never thought I'd see the day Inuyasha would be happy to get sat.'

Somewhere outside, Inuyasha flopped rather ungracefully into the grass, back down, arms and legs spread, grinning at the sky in complete and utter satisfaction. "Alone at last."

To be continued…

**Okay, so I hope that makes sense. Basically, if Inuyasha ever wanders off by himself for awhile, whenever Kagome or the others meet up with him again, Kagome will have to osuwari him so that they can tell he's really Inuyasha. This also would entail though it wasn't stated that if Inuyasha is ever found by the others without Kagome around, the group will have no way of trusting that he is truly Inuyasha until Kagome returns as well to confirm it.**

**So… yes, a whole lot of talking, which I hate very much. Too much dialogue makes me very unhappy, but I had to do it. I will say this chapter was not a joy to write. Not only because of the chapter itself, but because I'm sick, and that's the only reason I was able to find the time to write at all. It saddens me that writing has to take the back seat to my life right now, but I suppose I'm making due. Haha! I even found Inuyasha manga online in Spanish!**

**Anyways, take care everyone! (hugs) **


	37. Ch 37: The GetAway

Ch 37: The Get-Away

Inuyasha had one hell of a plan. He knew full well that Kagome was suspicious. How couldn't she be? Ever since his new arrangement in supervision went underway, he had finally been able to find some peace alone, even if he never did stray too far from the others, and as a result his attitude was ten times better than usual. He knew she knew it. Many times he had caught her out of the corner of his eyes, staring at him in that befuddled look of hers. He refused to answer her questions when she asked about it, but she didn't need to know yet. A perfect plot was brewing in his mind, the perfect way to make it up to Kagome for being so distant lately.

Astonishingly, on Inuyasha's request, Miroku and Shippou hadn't spoken a word about the revelation that Inuyasha could be osuwaried on a regular basis to tell him apart from Kokuei. Of course under normal circumstances he would let the girls know about this right away, but if he could hold off telling them for just a couple of days, his surprise just might work like he wanted it to.

And the day had finally come.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Midday, the valley was scorching with heat. Kagome worked determinedly scrubbing all the clothes she could get her hands on, silently wondering that if she could just bring them to her era and wash them in the machines, she could make more use of her time. Down by the river, she watched Shippou splash through the cool water with a bitter sense of jealousy as she sweated on the grass. The metal scrubbing board was hot from the sun and not even water would cool it. Her fingers felt raw after washing clothes for hours.

Letting out yet another sigh, she wiped the sweat from her forehead and stood to her feet with a soaked sheet in her hands. Just a few yards away, she had set up some wiring to hang up the laundry to dry. She flung the massive thing over the wire and straightened it.

He made his move.

Emerging from behind the nearby tree trunk, he snuck around to peak at her from the other side of the sheet. Kagome let out a yell of surprise and fell back a step. "Kami, Inuyasha! Don't do that!"

He only smiled and stepped closer. Kagome tensed up, "Wait a minute… Osuwari!"

Not prepared for the sudden use of the command, he yelped as the necklace pulled him quickly to the ground, dragging the wet sheet along with him. The wet material easily tangled around his body before his face plummeted into the dirt. "Ach! Damnit, Kagome!"

Kagome cringed, not so much due to Inuyasha's tone but the fact that she would have to wash that sheet all over again. Still, she kneeled down and pulled the loose corner off of his head. He was growling at her when she met his gaze with a smile. "Sorry, but you said yourself that if I ever doubt it's you…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know!" Inuyasha grumbled, "I think you're enjoying this just a little too much."

Kagome glared at that, "You take that back."

"Keh!"

She yanked on the hair hanging just next to his face, pulling his head up just a little as she moved in to mutter, "You know I don't enjoy it anymore than you do. _You _aren't supposed to be wondering off alone, remember?"

Inuyasha had to bite his tongue to keep himself from exposing that he wasn't being followed anymore. As far as Kagome knew, Inuyasha was always with someone they were familiar with, just as she was always with either Shippou or Sango. Even though Inuyasha never was too far away from anyone, Kagome couldn't possibly have guessed that he was no longer being continuously supervised. She, however, was not included in that new arrangement.

"So are you," Inuyasha pointed out, "I don't see anybody else."

Kagome nodded back towards the river just behind the trunk, "Shippou's right there."

Inuyasha tilted his head just enough to look past the tree. Shippou was there alright, splashing like an idiot up and down the water path after fish that were just too quick for him. The cunning of the fox was lost within his childhood awkwardness, as he repeatedly fell head-first into the water or batted runaway fish through the air. The adorableness of the situation was utterly lost on Inuyasha, who could only make a face in disgust. It seemed the kit was far too playful to keep an eye out for any danger, let alone look after Kagome. Hell, Shippou probably didn't even realize Inuyasha had arrived.

His ears pricked up as a new thought came into his head.

Kagome got to her feet and with a frown began to pull the sheet off of Inuyasha. "Now if you'll excuse me, I still have chores to do."

Just when she had about pulled the whole sheet away from him, he grabbed onto the trailing end and yanked hard. Kagome cried out as she fell forward, landing right on his back. Inuyasha grunted loudly when his body was pressed deeper into the ground. The sheet fell over them once again. When Kagome swatted the sheet away to look up at the hanyou, her glare was almost comical. "Inuyasha, what the hell?"

He matched her tone, "If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me, wench."

He rolled them both, tangling their bodies in the sheet and pinning Kagome beneath him. She didn't have time to protest before he dropped his mouth over hers. The angry retort she was about to make was muffled by his lips, soon to be replaced by a small squeak of surprise. For a moment, she didn't move nor close her eyes. It wasn't until Inuyasha moved enough to pull the sheet over their heads that she began to suspect what was going on through his head. Forgetting her previous frustration, the confusing emotions of her hanyou, she smiled as he pressed his mouth into hers, as he deepened the kiss almost instantly.

Hidden away by the sheet from any curious passersby, the wetness of the material let off a breath of fresh cold air, relieving her skin as Inuyasha relieved her senses. Hidden away from the world for just another precious moment, in her mind even as they lay under a sheet in the wide-open wilderness, it was private enough. Apparently it was enough for him too. She sighed against him and buried her fingers into his long hair. She didn't know what it was exactly, but something about the way he acted recently was so joyful. She couldn't mistake the happiness in his kiss. As though they shared the same mind, it was as though his contentment were her own, something so crystal-clear it resonated an absolute truth in her heart.

The peace in her was unsettling. The ever-welcome calm of his presence wasn't enough to slake the sense of restlessness within her. The powerful need to nourish him with all the love she could yet without knowing what to do or how to react. She felt that she needed to do _something_, and yet _something _could be anything in the world or nothing at all. Even as she grew weak at the feel of him, her soul had the urge to break out of her body and just dance. Maybe that was what she felt whenever she looked at him. Maybe he made her so weak in the knees because inside her emotions were consuming all the energy she had, materializing into a love as palpable and as hard as a rock. To love was tiring and yet she never felt so awake before.

"Well if this is your idea of laundry, it's no wonder you haven't finished," a deep voice commented nearby.

Inuyasha's growl returned as he slowly peeled himself off of the girl. Kagome, disappointed as she was, still gave him a small smile of encouragement before they pulled the sheet off. Miroku, that nosey monk, was leaning against the tree with a very amused smirk. Sango was blushing just behind him though trying very hard to glare him down for not leaving the couple alone. Inuyasha was too embarrassed to say anything, but his glare in the monk's direction was enough to say, 'I don't like you right now.'

"Say, Sango, would you like to do some laundry?" Miroku asked playfully.

Much to Inuyasha's delight, Sango took the initiative to elbow the monk in the stomach. The hanyou couldn't hide his smirk at seeing the pervert once again dominated by his own wife. Even if Sango was very much a traditional woman, as Kagome might say, Sango did 'wear the pants' in this marriage. Inuyasha turned up his chin proudly and scoffed, "Keh! Serves you right, bouzo. I've had enough of you. Come on, Kagome. We're getting out of here."

"What?" Both of the girls piped up.

Inuyasha took Kagome's hand and started leading her back to the village. "Let's go. Your birthday's tomorrow and I promised your mother you'd be home for that."

"Now wait just a minute, Inuyasha," Sango exclaimed as she cut them off. "You two aren't allowed to go anywhere without someone else. And none of us can follow you through the well."

Inuyasha sighed and rolled his eyes. It was about time, anyway. He continued pulling Kagome along with him and threw just one statement over his shoulder, "Might as well tell them, monk."

"Already? Hm, okay."

"Miroku, what's going on?" Sango asked as they followed behind the retreating couple.

"Well, we – that is, Inuyasha, Shippou, and myself – realized that so long as Kagome can use the rosary beads to identify Inuyasha, all she has to do is osuwari him if ever we are uncertain about who is who. Therefore it really doesn't matter if they are out of our sight or not ,just so long as Kagome remembers to say the command if he is ever out of someone's sight for a period of time."

Shippou, having appeared out of nowhere to follow them, leapt onto Miroku's shoulder. "Yeah, and as long as we keep _seeing_ him get osuwaried. Haha! We'll probably be seeing that every day now."

"Don't get too cocky, runt," shot back Inuyasha, "Not even the rosary will keep me from pummeling you if you keep pissing me off."

"Hold on a second!" Kagome suddenly shouted, "Are you saying that you've been walking around alone all this time without even telling me? And I'm _still _being followed around by everyone?"

Inuyasha cringed, "I… just thought of it a couple of days ago."

"So why didn't you tell me a couple of days ago?"

Inuyasha made up a quick and very Inuyasha-like excuse, "Keh! I'm not the one who gets into trouble on a daily basis."

"Oh, so threatening Kouga whenever he shows up isn't trouble? Trying to strengthen Tetsusaiga by going after a giant stone dragon isn't trouble? Demolishing my school auditorium isn't trouble?"

"So I made a few slight miscalculations. We survived thanks to me, didn't we?" They arrived at the hut. "Anyways, get your bag. We're getting out of here."

Kagome made a face at him but gathered her things anyway. "Alright, Inuyasha. I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but you're going to pay for keeping things from me."

Unbeknownst to her, Inuyasha was smirking behind her in the doorway. He motioned for Shippou to come closer. The kitsune hopped onto his shoulder. Inuyasha spoke very softly so Kagome wouldn't hear, "Shippou, we're gonna be gone for a few days. In the meantime, I want you to promise me something." Shippou blinked at his unusually calm and serious voice. "Promise me that you won't go off playing by yourself anymore. Stick with Sango and the monk. We can't have you wandering off." Shippou made a face and Inuyasha knew he was about to defend himself by saying he was grown up enough to go off on his own for a while, but Inuyasha beat his response. "If you ever see me without Kagome during these few days, assume that it isn't me. As a youkai, you'll be able to tell better than anyone else who I am. Even if Kokuei smells the same as me, if there's not a trace of Kagome's scent anywhere around, you'll know… I don't trust this guy. If something happens, if he tries to trick you, promise me you'll be close by… just to be safe."

Seeing that Kagome was about finished packing, he urged Shippou with his eyes to respond fast. Shippou quickly nodded and jumped off of his shoulder. It gave him an odd sense of pride to know that Inuyasha was counting on him to look out for everyone in his absence. He knew Inuyasha was worried, just as he knew that he didn't want anyone to worry. The hanyou didn't come out and say it, but Shippou had a feeling that Inuyasha had been quiet about asking him because he didn't want Kagome to know he was nervous about leaving the others behind. He didn't want Kagome to miss her birthday with her family because of some enemy.

Kagome made her quick goodbyes; Inuyasha even quicker. She took her usual position on his back and waved as they took off towards the well. When the others were out of sight, she turned to wrap her arms around Inuyasha's neck. "Thank you, for taking me home for my birthday. I'll be really happy to spend some time with my family and friends."

When she gave him a small peck on the cheek, it reddened slightly. "Keh. Don't thank me just yet. We won't be getting there till tomorrow after all."

Kagome frowned as they leapt over the well and continued on into the forest. "Inuyasha?"

"We'll be there in the morning, but there's somewhere else we need to go first."

"Where else could we possibly need to go? And without the others?"

Inuyasha smirked, "Didn't you think there was a reason why I didn't tell you before? It's a surprise."

Kagome's heart fluttered in her chest. She could never forget all those little surprises – the flowers – that he often gave her without warning. "A surprise? Like a 'flowers' surprise?"

Inuyasha's blush darkened. He still was a little embarrassed about the whole flower thing. "Better," he muttered under his breath.

Kagome squealed and snuggled in tighter to Inuyasha, who pressed his ears down to block out the annoying sound. "I like the sound of that."

As the hanyou took wide leaps through the air, with a very cheerful Kagome, he felt a peace and an anticipation that carried him faster than ever before. All those times he had been sure that he hadn't done right by her… Tonight he hoped to make up for them all.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Twilight was the most beautiful time of day, in Sango's mind. The time just before the world fell asleep when everything was relaxed, spent, lazy. The sky was a visual lullaby, if music could be somehow written in the stars. In the distance the faraway sunset reflected in the mountains a halo of gold and red. She smiled to herself and watched as it began to fade away into night.

She heard footsteps behind her. She turned abruptly only to find it was her brother who approached. "Kohaku. I haven't seen you all day. Where have you been?" She smiled up at him.

Her smile faded when she realized he didn't make a move to sit down next to her. He remained standing, staring off into the fading sunset as though in a trance. "What's wrong, Kohaku?"

The boy sighed, "I don't know. I feel like… something's wrong. I have a feeling there's something or someone I should have remembered, but I can't."

"But I thought you had gained your memory back."

"Yes, but… this feels different. It's gotten worse all day. I feel like I've missed something."

Sango sighed, "I know the feeling, Kohaku. Don't think about it so much and it will come to you in time."

"That's the thing," Kohaku replied somberly, "I don't know if I have the time to wait."

Sango didn't bother to respond to that. She stared back at the sunset, which suddenly didn't seem so grand. There were a million things that Kohaku could have forgotten. Painful memories, slaughters, torture, whatever horrid task Naraku had assigned to him. So young a boy to have to face to cruelty of the world, she supposed she would be lying to herself if she thought that he would go completely back to normal, back to the naïve and innocent boy from so long ago. Even if he never remembered all the things he had done, somewhere in his mind something had to have been damaged. There is only so much a wound like that can heal.

Kohaku made a move to sit down, but suddenly stopped himself. The sky caught his attention. "Red."

"What's that?" Sango asked.

"The sunset… It's very red."

The dark undercurrent to his voice, the depth of his eyes as he gazed into the color, and Sango knew what he was thinking. 'The old omen… The spilling of innocent blood.'

Kohaku suddenly felt like the air had stilled, all sound ceased to be. A blanket of darkness covered his mind, and only a face became clear. The one he had forgotten. He gasped loudly. He dashed forward and didn't slow down even as his sister shouted after him. Sunset was practically gone and the stars began to bloom above. As he made his way onto the field, there was barely any light to see by. He didn't know what it was he chasing but his instincts carried his feet in the same direction. The chirps of countless crickets surrounded him so loud he could barely hear Sango coming after him.

Finally something caught his eye, and he stopped. In the ever-faint light of the fading day, he saw the shadow of a figure walking forward, limping, stumbling as though drunk. The figure came closer and stopped, and Kohaku could suddenly hear gasping, wheezing, panting desperately for air. Kohaku took a step forward. The figure's head shot up. The overly pale face, the ragged black hair wasn't anything compared to the emotion in their eyes. The familiar face, the wounds that bled no blood, and Kohaku's vision was confirmed. "Kikyo-sama…"

"Kohaku…?" She muttered.

As though it were too much for her to say his name, she crumbled to the floor. "Kikyo-sama!" Kohaku shouted as he rushed forward.

She was still wheezing when he gently rolled her onto her back. Kohaku lifted his head to shout, "Aneue! Come quick!"

"Inuyasha…" Kikyo mumbled.

Sango arrived quickly along with Kirara, and gasped at what she saw. Kikyo's entire body had been slashed. The body of clay did not bleed but it looked like it was ripping in half. There was a large void where her stomach should have been, slowly leaking out the souls she had devoured. Cracks covered her entire body, as though she were about to dissolve into dust right there. Her body was convulsing as she tried hard to breathe. The souls were leaving her body completely, fading away along with her little sliver of life.

"Kirara! We have to get her to Kaede-bachan right away!"

Working fast, but making sure not to damage Kikyo's body, Sango and Kohaku lifted her onto the neko-youkai. As the demon slayer laid her down, the miko grasped her hand. For the first time in what must be years, Sango looked into the eyes of the undead miko. For what must have been the first time ever, she saw passion, pain, love, and pleading in her gaze. "Please… Inuyasha…"

Sango felt a pang of pity and worry in her heart. She didn't want to, but it had to be said. She took off with her into the sky. "Inuyasha isn't here, Kikyo. We're taking you to Kaede."

She knew it wasn't the answer the miko was looking for. The poor woman's eyes filled with tears, and she stared at the sky as though begging to the gods. Sango said, "Don't worry, Kikyo. We won't let you die. You'll see him again when he comes back."

Kikyo gave off a sort of half sob, half laugh. "Look at me, Sango. I have no time to wait." Sango fell silent, and let her own eyes water as well. "It doesn't matter. Take me to my sister. I have to tell her, I have to tell you all before it's too late."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

As everyone gathered in the room, Kaede rushed to make Kikyo's futon as comfortable as possible. Kikyo calmly shooed her away. "Don't waste your efforts on me, Kaede. There's nothing more you can do for me now."

Kaede was trying hard not to look emotional. It was hard enough when she lost her sister as a child. It cut deep into old wounds, watching Kikyo fade away all over again. When she was small her sister was all the family she had. Losing her had been like a dagger to the heart. Even if she felt as though these wounds had healed over her life, she would always know the pain of Kikyo's life, the anguish that haunted her in her two lives. There would be no peace for Kikyo until she was dead.

"Kaede," Kikyo asked suddenly, "Do you think he's happy?"

It took a moment for Kaede to make a guess. "You mean Inuyasha?"

She didn't answer. She just stared up at the ceiling with a blank stare, but Kaede knew very well it was the hanyou she was thinking of. Perhaps it might have been an act of pity to tell her that Inuyasha loved her and only her, that he would never love anyone like he loved Kikyo even if it wasn't true, just so she could die feeling like she was special in someone's eyes, just so she could die feeling like she was an ordinary woman. But Kaede couldn't bear to lie to her sister, no matter how kind it might seem. She had the feeling that even if she did, Kikyo would know the truth.

She sighed, "Truthfully, I've never seen him this happy before."

Kikyo smiled - a melancholy and pained smile - but it was there. "And Kagome… She really does love him, doesn't she?"

Sango wiped the tears from her cheeks, and replied in Kaede's stead, "Yeah… yeah, she does. Very much."

Kikyo's smile became a little more real, a little less forced. "She'll take care of him. I know she will."

"Kikyo," she heard a small voice come from beside her.

She turned her head and found Shippou sitting by her arm. She smiled at the little one. She knew why Kagome was so attached to the child. Even as someone who battled youkai throughout her life, she couldn't help but feel like this kitsune had a heart worthy of the purest human. Shippou spoke, "I'm sorry. Kagome and Inuyasha went down the well. I can't go get them."

Shippou had bowed his head. He looked so forlorn and ashamed that he could do nothing. Kikyo lifted her arm just enough to tilt up his head. "It's okay. Could I ask one favor though?" Shippou nodded. "I need you to deliver a message for me."

"What kind of message?" he asked curiously.

"A very important message. The most important message." In her voice, the adults could hear the miko when she was really alive, the miko who once played for hours with children. It was a delicate voice that had nothing but affection to give. "But it's a secret message, okay. You can only tell one person. Can you do that for me?"

Shippou nodded his head quickly. "What is it? What's the message?"

Kikyo smiled, almost happily, "Tell Inuyasha that… I love him." A tear slid past her cheek. "I never really told him before and… I want him to know."

Shippou was silent for a while, and then put his hand over his heart in a vow, "I promise I'll tell him. Your secret's safe with me."

Even Miroku was beginning to shed tears. When Kikyo struggled to stand up, Miroku moved to help her. She leaned against him for support and looked at everyone. "I can't tell you much. I don't have the time and I can't risk changing what might be. I can tell you this much: A prophecy will be fulfilled, one that involves Inuyasha and Kagome, and Kokuei intends to stop it."

"What kind of prophecy?" Sango questioned.

"That I can't tell you. But this prophecy is the key to destroying Kokuei for good. You do not understand the extent of his power. I have seen what he can do. I was even foolish enough to be associated with him. You must understand that he cannot be underestimated. Even if he is born from Inuyasha's soul, he carries a piece of Naraku that gives him power far beyond what Inuyasha is capable of."

"So… So what can we do?" Miroku asked, a bit frustrated, "Just wait around for him to attack us?"

"Don't give him the chance to surprise you. Track him down yourselves, or he will strike when you are least prepared… At Naraku's castle." She responded, her voice getting weaker by the second, "Above all…"

She started suddenly, gasping for air. Almost all of the souls had left her body. Miroku could feel dust forming on his hands, "Kikyo-sama!" he exclaimed.

He tried to help her lie down, but she stopped him. "No. I don't have any time left. Please, you must know one more thing."

They all listened carefully, knowing that Kikyo's time was up. Kikyo began wheezing harder, and a thin layer of sweat broke out over her face as the cracks spread to her cheeks. Her skin began to glow an unusual light. Kaede knew instantly what it was when she saw it. It was the last soul, the little piece of Kagome's soul that had been taken from the beginning. It was about to come back out. Kikyo gasped out, forced out, "The only thing needed now to destroy him is The Faith. The time will come to destroy him on the night of the new moon."

"The Faith…" Sango whispered to herself.

Kikyo's eyes glazed over, until all she saw was white, and in her heart she carried the knowledge that she would find him again… in her next life… when she would form a part of the woman he was destined to love. She carried with her into the afterlife a single heartbeat, a single kiss, and a single phrase of comfort……

"_You don't look like a bad person…"_

To be continued…

**Wah! Yes, Kikyo's gone. I'm not much of a fan of the whole Kikyo-Inuyasha pairing, but the manga chapter where she died had me sobbing. Anyways, it felt cool to write this chapter and I hope you all enjoyed it. Got a little piece of fluff in there but that's nothing compared to the next one, so watch out. **


	38. Ch 38: OneDay Paradise

**A long-awaited update. Finally, after months of travel, I am home in the USA! And I'm ready for more writing. Of course, I happen to outdo myself again by making the biggest 'gooey gooey lovey goo' chapter as of yet. Seriously, I must have counted 20 cliches in this one. Whatev! My screenname here should be a fair warning to start. **

Ch 38: One-Day Paradise

'Perfect,' Inuyasha thought to himself.

In little over an hour, they had finally arrived, here… in his paradise. His little sanctuary of pain and happiness, a place he knew since childhood. Blocked off from the rest of the forest by vast cliffs and ravines, it was not easy for anyone to get here. But few ever tried. He remembered that once there had been a bridge for easy passage in and out, but it had been destroyed by the time he was old enough to get there by himself. Nowadays, not even youkai tried to get through. They didn't really have a reason to. There wasn't anything there of value to them, only beauty, and Inuyasha's first home away from home.

Kagome nervously clung to him as he climbed one of the many cliffs. He could feel her trembling the whole way up, and had to constantly remind her that he would never let her fall. By the time they reached the top, Kagome was threatening to osuwari him off the cliff. Needless to say, she was terrified, but he knew it would be worth the climb.

"Inuyasha, how much farther? This is exhausting and I don't even know where we're going."

"'Exhausted?' Keh! I'm the one whose been carrying you all day."

She pulled on one of his ears, not hard enough to actually hurt him but hard enough to make him stop walking down the rugged path for just a moment. "I'm getting exhausted because it's hot and we haven't stopped even once."

"Quit whining already," Inuyasha huffed, "We're almost there."

She settled back against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "What in the world are we doing all the way out here?"

"I told you. It's a surprise. Stop asking."

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Can't you give me a little clue?"

"Keh! How's this for a clue? It's good enough to shut you up for a little while… maybe."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that."

"Then I'm gonna pretend you aren't asking me pointless questions. I ain't answering a thing. Stop being so sneaky."

"I am not sneaky!" she exclaimed, "It's just not everyday you have a surprise for me."

He set her on her feet. "You'll like it. I promise."

She had to smile at that. It wasn't so easy to be patient with him, but that look in his eyes certainly helped.

"Okay. Now all we need to do is pass through here."

Inuyasha pushed aside the branches of a bush to reveal a tunnel way carved into the mountainside. The entrance was small, almost child-sized. She stared at it for a moment with her head cocked to one side. There was nothing but black in that tunnel; it was completely void of light. When Inuyasha reached out for her hand, she was tempted to back away. He caught the dubious look on her face and squeezed her hand once in reassurance. "Come on."

He passed through the entrance first, leading Kagome behind him. Once they were inside, it didn't seem so tight a fit, but it was still completely dark. Kagome clung to Inuyasha tightly, causing him to chuckle. She glared at him, even knowing that he probably couldn't see it. Despite the complete lack of light, Inuyasha was somehow able to navigate them through with ease. Although she didn't give voice to her thoughts, she wondered if Inuyasha was also blessed with superhuman eye-sight along with his strength, sense of hearing, and sense of smell.

As if he could read her mind, he spoke up, "I've been through here so many times, I guess you could say I memorized every step. Don't worry. We're almost there."

Kagome gave a little squeak of surprise as he suddenly lifted her into his arms and leapt upward. Although she couldn't see anything, she could feel when Inuyasha propelled himself off the walls that he was drawing them upwards. When they finally came to a stop, she saw some light coming through in the distance. Inuyasha led her towards it, then reached out his free hand to pull aside some dangling vines in their way. They stepped out into the light.

At first, Kagome held out her arm to cover her eyes from the sudden change in light. Once her eyes adjusted, she gazed upon one of the most beautiful places she had ever seen. "Oh my…"

Words were lost to her as she began to take in her surroundings. A far-reaching meadow of uncut grass was so green it was the first thing to catch her attention. Patches of wild-flowers and dandelions were scattered throughout, and despite the fact that the land had obviousness not been touched in ages, the ground was fresh and alive. Beyond the immediate area was a stretch – possibly even a forest-worth – of cherry-blossom trees. With the arrival of spring, the flowers were their very pinkest, and the ground beneath them likewise littered with the pink petals. She could just see up ahead the outline of a river. She could hear the water gently rushing by with the gentleness of a lullaby. She couldn't see completely from behind the trees, but it looked like most of the area was walled off by small cliffs. The area was mostly if not completely isolated from the rest of the world.

"Inuyasha… What is this place?" She asked softly, without taking her eyes off the scenery.

Inuyasha blushed a bit and rubbed his fingers nervously. His palms were already sweating. "Do you… do you like it?"

She turned to face him, her eyes bright with emotion. "Inuyasha, this is amazing."

Inuyasha visibly relaxed immediately. Taking a hold of her hand again, he started walking. "Come on. I'll show you around first."

He walked slowly so Kagome could look around at her leisure. She was too preoccupied with looking at the cherry-blossoms to see the smile that broke out on his face. Of course he had anticipated that she would like it, but it made it so much more special realizing that his surprise was taking form. He knew long ago that making her happy gave him a sense of pride that couldn't be matched by anything else. And yet her smile, her contentment, never ceased to stir his heart. Her love and appreciation of even the smallest and dullest things made him take a second glance at everything he saw and knew about the world. Far from being able to tell whether he loved her because of her beautiful smile or whether her smile was so beautiful to him because he loved her, he realized that both were just as constant and true as the stars, and he couldn't possibly have avoided falling in love with her to begin with.

They walked alongside the river, hand in hand. Sunlight danced on top of the water, and the soft sounds of running water were so calming, Kagome leaned against Inuyasha as they walked, practically weak in the knees at the sound. In no time at all, they came across a pool of water just beneath a waterfall that spewed out from a cliff-side. The air was thick with mist, and the sunlight shining through created a nearly-full rainbow. "Wow…" was all Kagome could mutter, dumbstruck by the beauty of the place.

As they passed what looked like a cave just beyond the pond, Inuyasha stopped her. "Leave your things here, Kagome. I still have one more place to show you."

"Here? But… someone might come and steal my things."

Inuyasha sighed and rolled his eyes almost playfully, as though it were possible for him. "Kagome, look around you. We're the only ones here."

It took her a moment to respond after thinking that through, "How do you know?"

He smiled, "Why do you think I brought you here in the first place?" At her silence, he faced her fully. "No one knows of this place. Only me… and now you. I used to come here as a kid, just to get away from everyone. It was my home, or at least I considered it my home after my mother died. Since no one could follow me here, I was always safe here. I… wanted you to see it." She smiled that big, irresistible smile of hers, so big that he blushed and turned his gaze to the ground. "After all, you wanted to get away, just the two of us, right?"

"Just the two of us?" Kagome mused. Inuyasha nodded as his cheeks reddened even more. She stepped closer to him and embraced him tightly, leaning her head into his chest. "You really mean it?"

His sigh was so deep that her body moved with it. She lifted her head to gaze up at his face. His cheeks were dusted with the slightest shade of pick, his lips thinned in nervousness, and his eyes sought out hers at the same time as he tried to force his gaze away. The irony of it all struck her again, how the man so feared in the villages could make her feel so safe, make her feel so whole. But she couldn't dwell on that thought. She was somehow overcome with the urge to reach out and kiss him.

He was caught off-guard as she dominantly took him into a kiss. His eyes widened and he stumbled, but she held onto him, kept him upright, and he realized she always had. He encircled her with his strong arms like she was china, not too tightly but tight enough to keep her from falling away. He could feel his heart pounding, and before his feelings could take control of him, he pulled back. Kagome tried to retrieve his lips again, but she was only able to brush another kiss by him before he spoke, "Kagome… Hold on. I still have one more thing to show you."

She might have been a little disappointed, but with the way things were going, another surprise sounded wonderful. She left her bag by the cave entrance and walked beside him. There was only a small hill with a tree up ahead, but as they began crossing over to the top, Kagome saw what it was. She broke on ahead of Inuyasha in a light jog to the top. She stopped.

The hill dropped off a cliff, and beyond was a spectacular view of the bay. Behind the water that danced with reflected light, she could just make out the main land, what would someday be Tokyo. She barely recognized the bay without the ports and ships that filled it in the future. In this moment, everything was untouched before her, unspoiled. The bright sun illuminated everything it could reach. The water was more white than blue. The sea breeze was fast and smelt of salt. It rushed by so fast that Kagome felt like she could be flying.

Suddenly, she felt Inuyasha's arms snake around her waist, pulling her back flush against him. His voice vibrated through her body, "So, I did good, right?"

Triggered by the contentment in his arms, the knowledge that he shared with her this part of his past, this piece of beauty, she felt tears quickly rush to her eyes. Inuyasha could smell them right away through the salty breeze. "Kagome?"

"Inuyasha… Thank you… Thank you so much for sharing this with me."

Inuyasha sighed and buried his nose in the back of her hair. He knew she would like this place. She always did like girly things… flowers, perfume, sunsets… and as cheesy as it felt he was going to give her the most romantic birthday he could.

"Can we sit here for a while, do you think?" She asked.

He made a small noise in agreement and motioned towards the tree just to their left. They both sat down right at the curve in the trunk, and Inuyasha took the very bold move of pulling Kagome between his legs and wrapping his arms around her. She was shocked by the sudden movement, but quickly settled against him, folding her arms over his and letting her forehead rest against his chin. She couldn't see it, but Inuyasha was grinning from ear to ear.

"This place is so perfect, but I can't believe you could make it all the way up here as a child." Kagome said.

"Keh! Hanyou, remember?"

She reached her hand up and playfully tugged on one of his ears. "Yeah, yeah, I remember. You were still a hanyou _child_."

Inuyasha looked out over the bay. He must have done it thousands of times, but with the passing of years and the making of friends, he hadn't a reason to come back in so long. He vividly remembered coming here, but he could no longer appreciate the fear that drove him to this place. The days of running away from youkai and humans seemed so far away. But he knew that at one time, this was the only place he could be fully at ease. This was the one place he didn't have to look over his shoulder every minute. This was the only place that had beauty in the eyes of a hanyou child. It was his home, and yet… there was always something missing from it… someone missing. Now that he had Kagome here, it really did feel like home.

"Why did you leave?" She asked.

"Huh?"

"This place has everything you could ever need. Food, water, shelter, an amazing view, and you don't have to worry about anyone hunting you. Why did you ever want to leave this place and go back to just running away from everyone?"

He leaned his head back against the bark and looked up at the sky. "You'd be amazed what it does to you to not see anyone for so long. Sure, it was nice to get away for awhile, but after about a week, I couldn't stand being so alone. It drove me so crazy that by the time I left I would rather be chased than stay here all alone."

He was caught off-guard when she shifted and her hand came up to touch his cheek comfortingly. She tilted her head to look him in the eyes, and he could see the pain in her eyes, the pain for him. But he gave her a quick smile, just enough to show her that loneliness was behind him now. She matched his smile with her own, and he knew that she understood. She kissed his cheek sweetly and settled back against him.

For some reason, he felt the urge to be closer. He put his nose into the crook of her neck, letting his face lie against her body. Her scent could bring him to his knees, and yet he'd never felt such strength before. Beneath the calm was a restlessness he couldn't comprehend, an urge to do anything… possibly even something crazy, just to release the passion he only felt for Kagome. Her fragrance was alive and warm, like the world was taking fruit in her form. He didn't know he could feel this kind of wholeness, and he realized with a small quiver as he tightened his hold on her, 'I can't live without you, Kagome. I want to spend forever with you.'

Would she –even if she loved him- spend her life by his side? Could she promise to love him until the end of time? Could she surrender herself to a life of battle and scorn, if only to be with him? The better part of himself said that she would do it in a heartbeat because she loved him so much, and yet he had to worry about it, wondering if she really knew what it meant to stay with him _forever_. She was so young, _they_ were so young. Kagome could someday change her mind about him, couldn't she? He never would; it was an instinct to him now. After loving her this much for this long, he knew his demon blood wouldn't let him love another soul like he loved her. But humans left each other all the time, in love or out of love. No matter how much she loved him now, was this likely to change? If he asked her right now to become his mate, would she be committed to that forever?

At the thought of being mates, his spirit became alive with a whole new emotion, just as unsettling as it was wonderful. The thought of spending the rest of his life by her side thrilled him more than anything else ever could. He thought of waking up to her kisses every morning. He thought of lying on the grass with her watching the sun go down. He thought of the pups they might have. Surely, they would have tons of pups. He thought of a little boy with his father's proud demon features and Kagome's eyes; a little girl with Kagome's nose as well. He thought of holding this family in his arms, Kagome's belly swelled with one more on the way, knowing he would give them the childhood he never had, and play with them until they all collapsed from exhaustion. It was the most beautiful dream he could think of.

Beneath that, there was lust too. He couldn't deny that his body wanted hers. His demon blood called to him, urging him to take for himself the woman who loved him despite who he was. If his heart wanted to claim her as his mate forever, his bodily instincts wanted only to please her, wanted the honor of bringing her sexual pleasure. They had gotten closer in more ways than he had expected, he realized with a blush, and even as they kissed he felt inside him the urge to make her want him just as desperately. He wanted to feel her hands kneading against his skin in undying passion, to hear her moan his name in satisfaction. Above all else, he wanted her to understand, truly understand, just how much he loved her and needed her… not just now, but forever…

He was so lost in thought, he hadn't realized they had changed position. Kagome was no longer staring at the ocean. She had shifted her body so she was chest to chest with him, so very close. Her fingers toyed with his rosary as she laid her forehead against his neck. His knee had shifted up automatically to support her against him. His cheek was pressed against her hairline. It felt so perfect. He had to know if she felt it too…

"Kagome…"

She lifted her head to look at him. At her gaze, he lost all words. 'I… no, this day isn't about me, it's about her. I can't be thinking about this right now.'

As he mind started to fill with doubt, Kagome brought him back. She suddenly kissed him, fully, her hands cradling his face. He couldn't help but respond to it. He responded even more roughly than Kagome. He smiled against her lips as he heard it, a small moan caught in her throat, and his heart sang at the sound. He clutched her to him just as the wind seemed to carry him away. It howled all around him, but it wasn't mournful. His chest ached with the force of his heart pounding inside, somehow wanting to break free of his body and leap into the air. Some years ago, he would have denied ever having such a heart, and Kagome was the one who made him believe it was there. The emptiness in his soul she had flooded with compassion, want, need, and hope. Now, he gave her his whole self, everything that she had given him. He burned with the force of a raging fire as she opened her heart to him, letting him in, letting him love her.

He tasted her mouth, felt her breath as she sighed and shuttered. Her hands were buried into his hair, trying to pull him somehow even closer. He could feel her coax him with her lips, could feel her love and appreciation for everything he had done for her. It was enough knowing that he had done something worthy of her. Even if it was such a small thing, it was enough to share with her the secrets of his past. He wanted to know everything about her. Not just what she liked and didn't like. The songs she hummed so often, the dreams she had at night, the things she could cook, why she loved him so much. He wanted to know everything about her heart and spirit. But that wasn't enough. He wanted to know everything about her body too.

She ended the kiss abruptly, gasping for breath. He was breathing rather deeply himself. But they didn't move from where they were. Their breaths caressed each others' cheeks, as hot as fire. As though the blood had suddenly rushed to his head, he felt dizzy. He snuggled his cheek into hers, cuddling her to him as they slowly regained their wits. When their senses came back, so did the blush. The urge was still there, the silent aching to ask her to be his forever. But he chastised himself, told his heart that he hadn't come here today to claim her. This day was supposed to be for Kagome. And he wasn't about to request anything from her on a day like this, even if it was just a question. Maybe if he had a little time to think about what to say… maybe if he knew what to do before he lost himself to her…

Kagome caressed his ear, and he noticed with a smirk that his foot kicked in response. "Inuyasha…"

He looked her in the eye as casually as he could muster, determined not to show her just how happy he was at the moment, "What was that for, wench?"

She shook her head, "Nothing. I just felt like it."

He removed her hand from his ear, lacing her fingers with his. She laid her head against his chest again. "This is the best birthday I've ever had, Inuyasha. This place is so beautiful, and I'm so glad we can finally be alone for awhile."

'No matter what I do, what we really wants is to be with me.' He mused, filling him with a welcome and needed calm.

Suddenly, her stomach growled, so loud they both could hear it. Somehow in their journey and his thoughts, he had forgotten it was well past lunch time. He shifted, gently nudging her off his lap. "Come on. We should get some food."

"But I don't have any more in my bag." She told him as he pulled her to her feet.

"I know."

……………………………………………………………………………………………

"And just how to you plan to fish without a fishing rod?" Kagome asked teasingly.

Inuyasha finally managed to secure his sleeves up past his elbows. Smirking at her with a glimmer in his eyes, he showed her his claws. "Don't need one."

"With your own hands?" She realized, "This should be interesting."

"You know, instead of just sitting there, you could make yourself useful and help me." He said as he started scanning the river around him for signs of movement.

"It's my birthday… I don't have to do a thing." She chuckled with her head held up high.

"Then be quiet. You'll scare away the food."

He suddenly plunged his arm into the water. The fish nearly slipped out of his hand but he managed to grip it hard enough with his claws so it wouldn't escape. A moment later, the fish was lying on the river bank, and Inuyasha waded back out for more. Kagome was lying on a large boulder just by the water, trailing her fingers on the cold surface as it rushed by her. Considering she had grown up in a congested city, it was amazing that she felt so much more at home in the untouched wilderness. Everything was fresh and warm, and so different from everything she knew. It thrilled her beyond belief, knowing that this place was theirs alone. The sound of the river was like a lullaby against the rocks. She could listen to it for the rest of her life.

Before she knew it, two more fish were dropped beside her. She made a face, "How many do we really need?"

"Just a few more, in case we want more later."

She watched him wade back out. His red haori was hooked on a tree and he kept on his white gi, but it was rolled up enough to show his muscular fore arms. She watched in focused fascination as his claws twitched, as his hands sprung faster than lightning into the water. She supposed he had to be quick at this in order to survive. It was the only thing he could do for food when he was growing up all alone. He looked so comfortable with the world. He knew nature better than he knew himself. The way he moved, the concentration in his eyes made him look so majestic. She couldn't help but stare at him. He was of the wild, a creature people deemed unfit; they doomed him to live like an animal, and yet he had more humanity than many full-blooded humans ever would. Despite growing up all alone, he had such a big heart. The harshness of his life only made him stronger body and soul. She wondered to herself, could she do it too?

She sighed to herself and trailed her hands against the water. She could live like this, if she had to, even if it was different from everything she was used to. If he asked her to, she would live in a cold, wet cave for the rest of her life. Whatever made him happy. She already felt so at peace with nature.

Her eyes shot open wide as something buzzed past her eyes. She tensed. So much for being at peace with nature… she had forgotten about bugs. "A bee." She started quietly.

"Leave it alone," Inuyasha called without looking up.

She sat up, but as the bee came back, she tried to be still. But no matter how still she was, the bee kept coming closer and closer, trying to land on her. She cringed, tried to slowly back away, but it loomed just in front of her face. Finally, out of fear and frustration, she swatted at it. The bee only became more annoyed and came closer.

"Ah! It won't go away!" She cried out, her voice taking on a childish tone oddly reminiscent of Shippou.

"God, wench. Stop moving." Inuyasha grumbled.

"I can't! It keeps coming closer!" She squirmed on the rock.

Inuyasha couldn't help but laugh at her as he caught sight of her "fight" with the bee. She was the bravest girl he knew. She faced down youkai over 50 feet taller than her. She had been kidnapped more times than he could count. And she was afraid of a little bee.

"Get it away! Get it away!"

She jumped off the rock and into the water, splashing all over the place. The fish scattered. "Damnit! You scared away the food!"

She wasn't listening. Apparently, the bee had managed to sting her. She squeeze her arm as the light pain set it. "Argh! Stupid bee! I hope you bleed to death!"

Inuyasha sighed and came up next to her. He grabbed her arm. "Don't touch it!" she protested.

He quickly looked over the tiny insignificant mark, then swiped the stinger off without squeezing any more of the venom into her skin. Then, without missing a beat, he reached into the water and scooped up some mud. Before she could ask what he was doing, he smeared the mud down her arm.

"What in the world are you doing?" She asked in confused shock.

"Mud… It helps with the pain." He replied, and turned to go back to find one more fish.

But a new and fun idea sprung up in Kagome's head. She reached into the water herself and scooped up a huge handful of wet, thick mud. She laughed out loud in triumph as she threw it right at Inuyasha's head. He nearly fell over from surprise. "What the hell, wench?"

She didn't answer. She scooped up even more and continued to throw, laughing her head off the whole time. "Hey, hey, hey! Quit it!" Inuyasha shouted, uselessly holding his arms out in front of him to stop the onslaught.

Kagome only continued to shriek with laughter. Seeing as how it wasn't working to ask nicely, he decided to fight fire with fire. In one simple leap, he landed by her and grabbed on. She shrieked as he pushed her down into the muddy bank, dirtying her far worse than himself. But with a smile on her face, she still took the opportunity to throw as much mud at him as possible. This time, Inuyasha did lose his balance, and he fell backwards into the water.

The hanyou sputtered through the water that had drenched his face. He didn't even have time to prepare himself before Kagome slathered his forehead in mud. But Inuyasha returned the favor just as quickly. Before they knew it, both were laughing out loud, both were covered in mud and water. Somehow, the sound of Inuyasha's laughter thrilled her. There was something so unique about it, that she couldn't help but smile and laugh even harder. Drenched in freezing water and slimy mud didn't make a bit of difference. His laugh was deep and crisp, clearly adult-like but with a playful edge to it much like that of a child. It hitched along with his breath as he began to lightly pant. It was such a beautiful laugh.

She tackled him into the water again, falling over him as she did. He realized at the moment that he hadn't had such fun before. He understood it was kid-play, and yet he had never done this in his childhood. No one had wanted to play with him. Once again, Kagome seemed to bring his life into focus, influencing even his past. He knew that his whole life was in her hands, as was everything he knew about the world around him.

They ran out of breath, and so the mud fight came to an end. But like an old movie, they became aware of just how close they were. Inuyasha's face dropped in an instant. Kagome's face was incredibly dirtied, but like the fool that he was, she was somehow no less beautiful to him. He took a shaking hand to her cheek, brushing off some leaves that had plastered to her skin. She caught his hand, held it to her. He could see it in her eyes… she wanted him to kiss her. And he didn't understand why he felt he couldn't do it. Perhaps he was dizzied from play, perhaps he still was in doubt about their relationship, or maybe he feared that if he kissed her just once more, he would never be able to let her go again. Maybe he was afraid that he needed her just a little too much, that even the possibility of losing her would destroy him no matter how strong she had made him become, that he might do something crazy again just to keep her with him forever.

She looked puzzled when he pulled away and got to his feet. A blush rose to his cheeks, but he pushed it down. He tried to redeem his composure with a nonchalant tone. "Come on. I suppose these fish will have to do."

He walked towards the shore, towards the fish, but she didn't get up right away. She wasn't upset, just confused. Lately, he didn't turn down an opportunity to kiss her. She knew he knew she wanted it, and deep down, she knew that he loved to kiss her just as much. Something about him looked almost fearful. She knew he was working so hard to make this birthday work for her, but what was troubling him? As she got to her feet, she decided she would keep her thoughts to herself, just for a little while longer. But with an inner smirk, she thought, 'You can't hide from me here, Inuyasha. I'll find out what you're thinking of.'

As they wandered back to the campsite, Inuyasha's ears troops, 'May be a good birthday for _her_, but how am _I _going to survive the night?'

To be continued…

**See… it's fluuuuuufy. I hope you all enjoyed and haven't forgetting me as I was MIA. Looking forward to writing again. Hugs to all.**

**-Kelly**


	39. Ch 39: I'll Look After You

**Alright, people. The lemon has arrived. WARNING!**

Ch 39: I'll Look After You

As they say, the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Kagome and Inuyasha arrived at the entrance to the cave and set up a meager campsite in utter silence. Still covered in mud from their playful fight earlier, they were caked in dry dirt by now, but given their personal distance it was like nothing had happened between them. Of course, Inuyasha was the only one who felt the sudden need for distance. Kagome only felt vague confusion, not only for Inuyasha's behavior, but also for the stirring feeling similar to butterflies in her stomach, somehow urging her soul in the direction of the hanyou… if he hadn't looked so hesitant…

The sun went down shortly after their return, and along with it, the heat. The wild winds from beyond the cliff continued to rush into the secluded stretch of land. Inuyasha and Kagome managed to move their fire closer into the mouth of the cave to conserve warmth. For the first time since the river, Inuyasha touched her… placing a blanket around her… and just for a moment, squeezing her shoulders. He backed away before she could reach for him. She wanted to demand the meaning of his sudden reluctance, for who-knew-what. Yet at the same time, she could tell how nervous he was and how hard he was trying just to make this day perfect for her. He made sure she was comfortably warm; he spared a smile to her every few moments; he even served her hot tea. As she watched him begin to cook their fishy meal, she wrapped the gray plaid-patterned blanket around herself snuggly, sipping hot tea and smiling to herself. There was something so fulfilling, so natural, sitting in a dank old cave cooking a meal with the love of her life. Nothing felt more perfect than to be living together as though they were… something more than what they really were… like maybe this was their destiny.

As Inuyasha finally got the fish positioned to cook over the fire, Kagome found herself staring out into the sunset-painted sky, pondering the feeling that seemed to consume her. Inuyasha sat a comfortable distance away from her, prodding the burning embers with a long stick. He couldn't help but glance at her time and again, until eventually he forgot the fish was even there. Mud was plastered to her forehead, down her cheek and neck. Her hair was tangled with dirtied leaves. But her smile was pure. The light of the fire was perfect on her skin, casting her in an ethereal glow. Her eyes flickered with every movement of the flame, capturing the heat in the air, spilling over in wonderment. He gulped low in his throat as she gave off a contented sigh. Her happiness was real enough that he could practically touch it, and yet the burning question inside him refused to release its hold over his mind.

As though the very gods - the treacherous gods - had wrenched it from his throat, he called out to her, "Kagome…"

She turned to him, her tousled hair curled lightly by water and bouncing against her cheeks so subtly. The intensity of her gaze bore into him like a wave, and he lost all nerve in that moment, "I'm… filthy. Stay here while the fish cooks. I'll be back in two minutes."

She didn't answer right away. She continued to stare at him with a ferocious gaze, and if Inuyasha hadn't been sitting down, he was certain the look would have brought him to his knees. His heart trembling wildly, he grimaced as a sudden thought came to him, 'That smell… She…'

Pushing the thought aside, focusing on the perfect birthday night he had planned for her in the first place, he didn't wait for a direct response before he got to his feet and darted quite rapidly out of the cave. What he didn't know was that the same thought he had had come across Kagome's mind as well. That look in his eyes… an undying passion… lust… love… 'D-does he…?'

Placing a hand over her throbbing heart, she drew in a shaky breath in a futile effort to dispel the unsettling feeling. Looking over herself, the little tremors in her belly grew, 'I'm… filthy, too… I should…' Her mind didn't even bother to finish as she reached into her bag without even looking, then stepped out into the night. She forgot her towel and the fish that quickly burned to a crisp.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Pausing only to hang his haori and gi on a low branch, he waded out into the water as he whispered angry curses to himself. He settled against a rock nearby, groaning as he ran a tired hand through his hair. The wind blew the trees, breaking off a thousand leaves which scattered into the water all around him. He picked them from his hair and slowly washed away the grim from his face. The dried dirt came away almost instantly.

'You're going to blow it,' he thought to himself, 'You can't just suddenly decide to claim Kagome as your mate. You need time… you need to make plans.'

And yet, hadn't he always known he would love her forever? Hadn't he been pondering these same questions for months now? Sure, they came up only from time to time since his relationship with Kagome had begun, but now they were more prominent than ever, almost daily. He told himself that it wasn't proper to think of such things when he hadn't come to this place with any intention of claiming her. It felt like he was being unfair to her, forcing her into answering a question she might not want to answer. Even though by all accounts they would be past the normal mating ages in the Feudal Era, he knew Kagome was still considered too young in her time. Would it disgrace her family to have her bound to someone for life when so young? Would Kagome feel that she was ready for a commitment this great?

He sighed. Despite all the reasons why he shouldn't dare, it couldn't conquer the ache in his chest, the question that scorched him.

'My youkai knows… I'll never stop loving her. And it just might kill me if I can't have her.' He gave off a sort of half-whine, 'What should I do?'

A sudden sound to his left drew his attention. Startled by the sound of something in the complete isolation of their get-away, his soul welled up in panic for just a moment before his eyes focused in on the intruder… which only made him panic more. "K-K-Kagome?!"

She was partially turned away from him. Her shoulder and back were completely exposed, her skin shining pale in the moonlight like she was a part of the moon itself. Her long black hair only barely fell around her shoulders and neck, plastered to her skin by water as she doused herself. 'She's… naked?" He mused dreadfully, though try as he might, he couldn't take his eyes off of her. She dipped her hands into the pond, suddenly splashing water into her face and hair, and as her hair moved once again in response Inuyasha caught sight of the black straps on her halter bikini. He hoped the sudden whoosh of air as he breathed again wasn't as noticeable as he thought, but he froze as she turned and smiled at him sweetly. "I was rather dirty myself."

Somehow she had felt that his gaze gave her his permission to approach him even closer, which was anything but what he was thinking. In fact, at the moment he wanted to be as far away as possible before he did something completely crazy. Was the wench _trying_ to make him crazy? She turned to him. He could see her upper body barely covered by that tiny thing she took for a bathing suit. The same color as her hair, it contrasted considerably with her pale skin. Water glistered off of her, and he knew that keeping his hands off her for the night would be a bigger battle than Naraku, not just as a man but as a part-youkai, a heritage of a species that didn't know sexual restraint. He shied away, but couldn't bring himself to move away completely as she sat down next to him, some two feet away. They both blushed red, looking away from each other even as their souls pushed them to be closer.

Inuyasha sputtered out suddenly, "What about the fish?"

Kagome blinked in surprise, "Oh… um… I forgot about that… But we have plenty of fish, right?"

Silently thanking the gods for this opportunity, he began towards the shore. "The fire will go out."

But he had taken no more than two steps when Kagome's arms linked around him from behind. She pulled him back into her chest. Now he _knew _she was trying to make him crazy. The smallness of her bikini did little to hide the feel of her body on his back. The shape of her stomach and her chest seemed to mold against him perfectly, drawing a gentle whine from him. His hand came to rest over hers. Even as her touch calmed him, it was robbing him of common sense little by little with every passing second.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her voice vibrating through his back.

"Kagome… It's nothing… I don't want anything to spoil this…"

She winced at the self-criticism evident in his voice, as though he thought the gift he had already given her that day was any less than wonderful. "This has been the most perfect day I can remember… ever. Nothing can spoil that, except knowing that something is troubling you. Please tell me? I can't be really happy unless I know that you're alright."

He sighed in dismay and glanced up at the stars, at the fates that lurked out there somewhere mocking him. He really couldn't get anything past her.

He linked his fingers with her, caressed the palm of her hand with his thumb, and she waited. She waited for him to find the words she knew were so hard for him to form. It was enough to know that she would wait forever for his words… simply because she loved him…

Still, he had to ask. Smoothly turning, he took her into his arms, crushed her to him as he desperately searched for the strength to speak. She ran her fingers up and across his back, soothing him in a way he didn't know existed. He held her tighter, fighting against the irrational thought that she might slip away from him the second he asked her. Somehow, in those moments, as they embraced in the water, the drip-drops of water soothing him into submission, he started off by asking the one thing he already knew, "Kagome… Do you love me?"

"Of course I do," she pulled back to look into his eyes, her hands cradling his cheeks, "You know I do."

He sighed deeply, and shut his eyes as he laid his forehead against hers, trying to drink in her calm with his mind. "How long?"

"What's that?"

"How long do you think you'll continue to love me?"

She paused. The length of a relationship wasn't exactly something one could predict. She'd venture to say most people wouldn't start a relationship with an end in sight. "Well, I… I don't really know… I think… forever."

'It isn't enough to _think_ she will!' his mind screamed, 'She has to be certain!'

He tried to turn away from her. She wouldn't let him. "Do you love me?" She asked.

With another disgruntled sigh, he nodded.

"How long?"

Looking into her questioning eyes, he could feel his youkai blood stirring inside of him, calling out for her and her alone. It was clearer to him than the light of day. He pressed his cheek against hers and murmured into her ear, "Forever… I know it." He could feel her smile against his neck. "But you… you really don't know, do you?" He managed to pull away from her and turned his back. He slumped down on a rock; his shoulders hunched forward in depression even as she sat behind him and placed her hands against his skin again. "For all you know, you could change your mind about me tomorrow."

"Don't say that, Inuyasha!" She hissed somewhat angrily, somewhat sadly, "There isn't a thing you can do that would drive me away."

"I've seen it all the time, Kagome. It doesn't matter how much you humans love each other, because one day you tire of each other and look for someone else to love!" His eyes burned even as he said it.

She wrenched her hand away from his back as though his words scalded her. "'You humans?' You… you make it sound like I'll cheat on you someday." The lowering of his ears and head confirmed it. She shook her head and bit her lip, fighting back tears. "What kind of person do you think I am?" She argued in defiance, "You think I'm so despicable a person…?"

"It ain't got anything to do with being good or bad, Kagome. It just happens. And maybe… it'll happen to you."

The salt of her tears hit the sensitive triggers in his nose, and he whined loudly, already certain he had ruined this day, and this sad excuse for a proposal.

Instead of turning away to cry she buried her face in the back of his shoulder and let a few tears run free, utterly miserable. "And you… Could you change your mind about me someday?"

"No…" He answered quickly, "I can't… I'm part-youkai. My youkai blood won't let me love anyone else. If I so much as tried, it would cause me to go insane. You wouldn't… but I would-"

"Oh, so you can do what I can't?" She pushed him somewhat roughly. She turned away from him and buried her eyes in her hands. "You think I wouldn't lose my mind if I lost you? It would destroy me, Inuyasha!"

He couldn't bear to hear those words coming from her mouth, couldn't stand the utterance that they might lose each other someday, and the fact that she didn't understand put him over the edge… He stood, turned, and forcefully grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her back up into a standing position as he glared at her with a desperation that dragged against her spirit. "Don't you understand, Kagome! I want you! Forever! I want you to be my mate!" He caught his breath as Kagome's eyes widened, "I'm terrified that someday you'll stop loving me, and I'll lose my mind, Kagome, should that ever happen."

Already blushing violently at the implications of what he'd just said, he turned away again. Kagome placed her hand against her heart, again beating a mile a minute. "Your mate…?"

He sighed so deeply his shoulders sagged, "Do you know what that means?"

"I… I think so. I think Sango mentioned it once… a few years ago."

He rubbed his hands against his face, "Damnit! This wasn't how I wanted to ask you."

"It's okay," she said as she took his hand and pulled him back to her, "Just tell me what it means," she wrapped her arms around him again, giving him the support he so desperately needed. As she soothed him with her touch, he thought that maybe hope wasn't lost after all.

"It's forever. It's… well, we'd have to, um, mate… and," He grimaced with a hard blush, 'Baka! That much is obvious in the word.' "Our souls would be connected. That's why it's forever. If either of us… did that… with anyone else, it would literally rip that bond in two. You wouldn't feel the connection, since you're human, but I would, and it would be like tearing my soul in half. It would drive me literally insane."

She toyed with his hair, "That's why you're scared I'll leave you? Because you think I'm destined to leave you and in doing so…" She trailed off. He nodded sadly. She shook her head and tilted her head up to look into his eyes, "I may not be able to feel such a bond, and I may not be physically forced to stay with you, and humans may leave each other more often than youkai, but… loving you as I do now is enough for me to know that I'll never want anyone else as long as I live."

"But you said before-."

"With humans, we have no way of truly knowing how long relationships or marriages will last. That's why I said I wasn't sure," she caressed his cheek and he couldn't help but lean into it, "With humans, that's what makes the precious time we have with one another so special. But that's what real love is, I think. Not truly knowing for sure, understanding that the odds are against you, but still having faith that somehow you will never give in."

Inuyasha's heart slowed to a crawl, his mouth went bone dry, his eyes glazed over. "Are you…" He rasped out, "Are you saying you'll… be my mate?"

The hopeful caution in his voice made her heart soar. She whispered a kiss past his lips as tears of happiness fell down her cheeks. He might have been worried about her tears were it not for her wide smile. "Do you love me?"

He nodded his head dumbly, "Yes."

"Do you want me?"

"Yes," he exhaled in an incredulous yet elated tone, taking her hand into his as a grin pushed at the corners of his lips.

"Then I'm yours, Inuyasha," she mumbled as she held him tighter against her, "I trust in my heart, and I trust in us."

He couldn't hold himself back anymore. He devoured her with the kiss of certainty. He understood. He didn't believe in many things, but the one thing he had faith in was that they loved each other. Kagome would never stop loving him, just as he would never stop loving her. From this day forward, they would never be parted. His tongue dipped into her mouth, exploring hers as fire came to life in his veins. The proposal had been accepted, and already his youkai blood was demanding that he complete the mating. He pushed the urges back. Kagome deserved patience. She deserved romance and perfection. He would look after her, take care of her, watch out for her well-being for the rest of his life, and that realization was the most beautiful, untainted thought of all. Even if she was human and he was only part-youkai, he somehow knew their bond would be even stronger than full-blooded youkai mates. That must have been what Kagome meant… when she said what it meant to simply trust in love.

The winds hit his back, and it brought him back to reality for just a moment, but long enough for him to realize that they were both still waist-deep in the frigid water. Kagome apparently hadn't yet realized as much. When he broke off the kiss, she continued pressing her lips to his chin, his cheeks, his neck. His knees trembled. "Kagome…"

The sound of Inuyasha calling her name only goaded her further. She pressed open-mouthed, wet kisses against his skin and he hissed as passion shot through his body. "Not here, Kagome. Not in a pond."

He pushed at her just enough for her to stop her assault on his body. Her eyes caught his, her gaze smoldering like the bowels of a volcano. Her lips were reddened, glistening from their kisses. The sunset behind her face was red… passionate… enlightening the feeling that his heart was going to break open his chest. Even in the water, her spiced scent hit him hard, and he gulped in anticipation. Her serene face hovered near his, finding her daring, finding her seduction, and whispering against his lips, "Take me to the cave, Inuyasha."

His eyes never lost contact with hers. He hoisted her against him, gathered her into his arms and dragged his legs to the shoreline. The lust in her eyes grew and grew, and behind it, unconditional love, undying love. It was obvious to both that physical tension was building, and knowing this was enough to drive their own feelings forward. As they exited the water, their eye-contact broke so Kagome could grab his shirts from the tree branch and throw them carelessly around his shoulders. He didn't stop to put them back on, he didn't stop to let her out of his arms for even a moment, in fear that the magic would be lost to them if he couldn't feel her against him for any period of time. He didn't dare…

As they walked silently back towards the cave, Kagome had to bite her tongue to keep herself from complaining that they ought to move faster. It was hard enough to stop back at the pond, but now Inuyasha was being deliberately slow, and though she knew the patience in his steps was for her sake and hers alone, if only he knew she was just as anxious to be bonded to him in body just as they already were in spirit. Her heart was pounding against her lungs, making it that much harder for her to breathe. She exhaled erratic, hot breaths against his neck, and he clenched his teeth to stop the automatic moan from escaping. He didn't even notice that his pace had quickened just a little.

When they made it back to the cave, Inuyasha didn't take notice of the chard hunk of flesh that had been their dinner, blackened from the flames and disintegrating. The fire was close enough to the entrance that the smell and smoke were caught by the winds and carried out of the cave. Inuyasha maneuvered them around the fire towards the big blanket Kagome had thrown down when she came after him.

He suddenly paused. Looking around him, he noticed the darkness of the cave other than the light of the fire, the water that dripped down the stalactites. The place wasn't exactly beautiful. It was cold; it was black; it was rugged; anything but romantic. And he'd always heard that girls needed… 'atmosphere'…

"Kagome…" he muttered as he looked to her, his shaky voice just a little above a whisper, "Are you sure…? Here… in a cave?"

She whispered back, though why they both felt the need to be silent, she did not know, "It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're here with me… Please…"

He lowered them to sit on the blanket, and they stopped. It had taken them this far to realize that something was a little off. Kagome blushed crimson as she realized the awkwardness of their situation. Everything was so quiet, and even if common sense told her so, this was nothing like the love scenes in the movies, where romantic interludes were somehow perfect and rehearsed. This was anything but graceful. No music whatsoever, and in fact neither of them really knew what to do with themselves, seeing as they both had no experience. Inuyasha didn't feel any better. Nervousness set in, this time as he wondered what was the best way he could please her… how do they even start?

It took a few moments for Kagome to make her move. She moved closer to him and mumbled, her voice laced with compassion and need, "Just kiss me, Inuyasha. It'll be okay."

He complied even as his worry grew. His kiss was gentle and feather-light. Trying so hard to be gentle with her yet fighting away the dull pain of wanting inside him, his hands shook as he held her to him. His fingers fiddled with her wet hair, inadvertently calming her, and suddenly it was just as perfect as any movie could ever be. Somehow, she knew there was a reason she had been saving herself till adulthood. She had been waiting for him all along. Even in a cold cave, far away from anyone, the light smell of burnt fish in the air, she realized that this was everything any girl could ever hope for in her first time. Even if it was so cold, even if she didn't know what to do with herself, the knowledge that he loved her made her want him so much more, and there wasn't any way this could disappoint her.

It was more than just mating, it was their marriage… a youkai marriage, of sorts. Even if she was human, Kagome was certain she could feel her soul's desperation to conform to his. The taste of his mouth was mirrored with the slow movements of his caress, a lethargy that touched her to the core. She knew somewhere deep inside that she was on the cusp of something epic, something unchecked, something beautiful yet invisible. The memory of their time together, of falling in love surpassed the bad times, as numerous as they were. No disappointment, no argument could shake the foundation of their relationship. Even as the ghosts of his past continued to haunt him, she made it her life's work to bring him happiness, so he would know that he was worth everything and he deserved nothing less.

They parted for breath, yet didn't move out of each other's arms yet. They breathed hot fire against each other's cheeks, and Inuyasha smiled nervously. He pulled back and looked into her eyes again. Unlike her, the awkwardness was not yet gone from his mind. He doubted it would be until his body bonded with hers. She touched his cheek lovingly, and he knew she understood his hesitation. Smoothly, slowly, she pushed his haori and gi off of his shoulders, her hands following his skin all the way down. She stopped to stare at him for a moment. It wasn't the first time she had noticed how perfect his body was, but knowing now what was coming to pass between them made her shiver as she stared. She reached for the ties of his hakama, but he pushed her hands back. A little disappointed, she looked up into his eyes again. He shook his head quickly. He wasn't quite ready yet for that.

He moved closer to her again, clumsily pushing her hair over one side of her neck as he kissed the other. His hands found their way to the ties just behind her neck. With an easy pull, the tie came undone, but it didn't fall away from her body right away. He did the same to the lower tie. He backed away and looked into her eyes in a silent request for permission. With an unbearable slowness that gnawed at her, he pealed the wet fabric away, exposing her to him. He didn't even look at her as he suddenly crushed her to him, somehow dying to know what her bare skin would feel like against his, knowing instinctively that it would be special. And the feeling of her body on his sent a huge wave of need through his veins. His hands fondled her back as a shaky sigh ricocheted out of his lungs. He kissed her shoulder, her neck, her cheek. The warmth of her body in the midst of a cold night brought all a whole new emotion, separate from lust alone. Hot pressure rose behind his eyelids to blur his mind to anyone but Kagome. He realized in that moment that she would be his constant shelter from the cold. Even as he promised to protect her forever, it was Kagome… with her benevolence, her candor, her gentleness… who would protect him from any attack on his heart. The realization came to him that he would never have to spend a night alone ever again, a secret wish he had made as a small child in this very setting. From this place where he had often found his salvation, he would take away with him a bond that would always carry him through.

He backed away just enough to look down at her. Though he had seen her naked many times before, something about how she looked to him now was different. Maybe it was knowing that she would be his forever… it made her whole body look dazzling. He watched in fascination as her nipples hardened under his gaze. The simple change made her breasts look fuller. Curious, anxious, he dragged his hand off her back to meet her right breast. Not expecting the sudden move, Kagome gasped and arched against him, threw her head back in a sharp hiss. He kissed her neck. She muttered almost incoherently, "Touch me…"

He massaged her body. The sounds of her deep breathing pressed him forward. He watched as she seemed to writhe against his hand like an untamed creature. He pressed deep, open-mouthed kisses against her throat, using his fangs only to gently nip her, an action meant to calm her. It only made her aggravated, made her body erupt in tremors of impatience, fear, and yearning. It wasn't long before he realized her whole body was shaking, rather intensely. He brought his head up and supported her neck with his hand. "You're shaking… what's wrong?"

His answer was a kiss, a moan that flowed into his throat from her. She took her dominant position, gently pushing him back so he was leaning away. He supported himself on the ground behind him with his hands. She wrapped her legs around him and rose up against him, swallowing him whole with a kiss of passion, as though attempting to suck out his soul. She trailed kisses down his neck with a pure smile on her face. He shuttered. He now understood why she was shaking. It was all he could do not to scream, not to lose his sanity.

Her hand moved up to massage his ear. Under normal circumstances, the gesture would have been very comforting, but in their current position, her touch of such a sensitive place overthrew him as a swelling desire.

Taking dominance again of the kiss, he rolled them clean onto the large blanket and pinned her beneath him. If she could feel his arousal through the remainder of their clothes, she didn't show it. His mouth fell to her breasts and he took turns wetting each one with his tongue. Everywhere he kissed the skin was salty, moistened both from a tiny build of sweat and the water from the pond. He could practically taste her scent coming off of her in waves. Something about her smell singed his senses. The spicy undertone of her arousal was magic.

Kagome was becoming dizzy with every passing moment, as though drunk on his kisses. Though she was often timid and innocent when it came to romance, somehow she found the courage to seduce him a little. Her hands roamed around his body; she pressed his hips into hers. When she felt his arousal against her thigh, hers soared. She clumsily kissed him, even as he paid his attention to her breasts more than her mouth at the moment. After a few minutes of trying to capture his lips, she became frustrated. "Inuyasha… I need you to kiss me… please…"

He stopped and looked up at her. The pout on her face might have been funny or odd where it not for the blazing hot demand in her eyes. He couldn't refuse her. He pushed up to kiss her deeply. He told himself time and again that it was still her day, and he was going to do whatever she wanted to make this the most perfect mating for her.

She didn't notice his hand lightly run over the remainder of her bathing suit. It was only when he began to toy with the strings that she realized what he was doing. "Is this okay?" He asked.

She nodded, and closed her eyes. There was a sudden breeze quickly shut off as his hand cupped her. She let out a hard gasp. For a moment, he was worried, thinking that he had hurt her with his claws, but she moved herself into him. He touched her, moved against her, captured the warmth of her as she moaned against his face. It was amazing how her body responded to his, as though he dictated her moments more than she herself could. As though he were killing her with pleasure, somehow she didn't have it in herself to breathe normally. Though she tried desperately to calm herself, the world was spinning, she couldn't tell anymore where she was or what to do, only that Inuyasha was there, the one who touched her, the one who loved her.

"Kagome…" he grounded out.

She had reached the ties of his hakama again. This time, he didn't resist as she let the pants fall loose and pushed them away quickly with her fingers. He tried not to let the feeling of her fingers as they slid down his outer thighs bother him. He shifted to let the extra baggy leggings fall off of him. And there they were… both completely exposed to each other. She stared at him unabashed, taking in the total beauty of his form. The curve of his muscles downward and downward converged into what seemed to her to be perfection. The faint trace of white hair from his bellybutton downward so mysteriously attractive, she couldn't help but stroke it for just a moment with the pad of a finger. That was somehow enough for Inuyasha to lose his nervousness. As though the worst were over, he felt a rush of air escape his lungs. The crescendo of emotion had him at a loss for words. The sounds of their breathing rung too perfectly in his ears. This _would_ be perfect, he realized. Nothing could be wrong about who they were and what they were when they were together. As many times as he had tried to convince himself that he wasn't worthy of her, that he was a monstrous beast, she loved him anyway, she saw beauty inside him, and there wasn't a damn thing ugly about him so long as he had her.

He gasped even louder than she when she suddenly felt the urge to touch him lower. It was too much for him to feel the gentle touch of her fingertips when he was finding it difficulty to control himself as it was. He grabbed her hands, pulled them up over her head and broke his kiss as he gazed down at her. "Kagome… are you sure you want this?"

She gave him a quick peck on his lips, two tears of sheer joy hanging as the badges of love on her cheeks. "I want this… I want you."

He smiled as her fingers smoothed back his hair, a smile so full it practically reached his ears. He whispered to her, his nose against hers, "I'll look after you, Kagome." He kissed her again. With a shift of their bodies, he hoisted her closer to him, positioning them for the joining. She was shaking again. "Are you nervous?" He asked.

She hesitated, then nodded, "A little. I just… don't know what to do."

With an ever-comforting flutter of his eyelashes against her forehead, she sighed. He told her, "If it hurts you, just tell me… We can stop." Nodding her head quickly, urging him to continue, she finally began to settle.

The sudden jolt of sensation, the rush of pain as he pressed himself into her proved too much for her, for she hadn't expected it to be so quick a movement. She cried out, her insides squeezed him, and he grimaced as well. Joined with her body at last and already the hot pain was affecting him. With a grunt of discomfort, he shut his eyes against the feeling of her tightening body as it shifted. "Kagome…?"

She knew he was becoming worried. She was shaking so violently, she must have looked like a wreck. For a moment, she thought he might pull away. But she held fast to him, panting loudly as she wrapped her legs around him. "I'll… be fine. I just need a few seconds."

He obliged her that much. Kissing her cheeks with the utmost tenderness, kissing her as though she would break apart, the wash of her tears was eclipsed by the absolute completeness that filled his soul. It really was something… looking into the eyes of the woman he loved, their bodies united in an eternal bond. As though every heartache he had suffered had come down to this, when he gazed into her eyes it was like nothing could touch him. She trembled under him, and he saw her bite her lip trying to stop herself from doing so. It was all he could do to keep himself together. Already beads of sweat were forming on his forehead. But he didn't want her to feel afraid, not even nervous, and certainly he didn't want her to feel pain. He only wanted her to feel the joy he felt when he looked at her, wanting _him_, needing _him_. He touched his lips to her cheeks, her nose, her ears, as the tension slowly leaked away from her, and off of him.

When she felt ready, she nodded, even if she continued to shiver with pain. He moved against her again, and one last intense burst of pain erupted from her as the last trace of her innocence suddenly fell away. He smelt blood, momentarily panicked, until her smile blinded his senses to everything but just that. He smiled back, kissed her fully as he followed his heart, followed the dictations of his body that came from somewhere even deeper down.

The sudden intrusion her body was forced to compensate for was no easy change. Even after a few minutes of adjusting to him, she found she was still in searing pain where they were joined. Like she was being torn in two, her heart pounding painfully itself, the unconscious part of her soul couldn't help but wonder if she was somehow dying, if she had been ripped open. However, even as the pain persisted, within the following few minutes it was accompanied by a feeling of unimaginable pleasure. Behind the soreness she could feel her breathing accelerate in excitement. She couldn't expect the pain to go away completely on their first time, but before long she would forget the pain was even there.

He gasped loudly with every thrust. It hurt him, too, but the build of sexual desire was ever strong that he had already numbed his mind to anything but. The sounds of her moans and the fire of her kisses drove him mad, pushed him to the limits of reason. He began to whine softly, a brutal and primitive sound, wrenched from his youkai blood. He tried to hold himself back from being too rough on her. It was enough of an experience to leave him satisfied, he knew this, and yet hurting her while they mated wasn't an option he dared consider. Too perfect, too small, too warm… she destroyed him with her body, rebuilt him with the flutter of her rash kisses. He buried himself within her and in doing so, promised her the world. He would protect her, cherish her, watch over her, father her children, grow old with her, die in her arms in contentment beyond compare. Her promise as she met with his movements was nothing less.

What felt like an inch of sweat coated his entire body. Though the fire dimmed and brightened every minute or so with the flux of wind, neither of them took notice. The unbearable heat was as painful as the movements themselves, and yet neither would dare give in. Inuyasha wrapped his arms tighter around her, her small body lost in his mighty embrace, as his movements escalated, rose to meet her flame, as they branded each others' hearts and minds.

"Kagome… look at me…"

She gazed up at him, lost in his gaze. She saw the flood of passion behind his eyes, the tenderness he reserved only for her, the years of waiting to find love vanquished in an instant. He pressed into her; she struggled to keep eye-contact with him; she was too dizzy to keep her body in check. He kissed her deep, tangled his fingers in her hair, and imbedded his soul into her body by any method he could think of. The resonance of completeness that sounded within the echoes of their own heartbeats blocked out even the harshness of the wind and the fluctuating heat of the fire.

"Inuyasha…" she moaned.

His smile was gorgeous. She couldn't help but smile too. Running a hand over his forehead, she whispered for him to go faster… harder… He didn't hold back. He shook against her, hissed loudly as the heat within his own body scorched him. The build of something rampant, something instinctive, something infinite nudged at the corners of his mind, and he knew that they would complete the bond soon. Like a swirling tide licking at the shores, so tempting, so close… so did he begin to touch at a moment of otherworldliness.

"Inuyasha… I'm going to… Just don't let go."

"Never", he whispered, realizing that the same upsurge was happening to her too. 'I'll wait for her,' he insisted, though he knew it wasn't long before he lost himself to her in all forms. If she didn't finish within the next minute, he just might.

Her whimpers met his groans, her thrusts met his thrusts, the scalding gaze of her eyes against him brought their mating to the moment of enlightenment. Crying out as they touched the heavens together, touched the gods themselves, soared higher still, it didn't matter if they disappeared into the vastness of space so long as they weren't alone any longer, so long as they were together. Her peak –a half scream, half sob –came before his, so loud and beautiful even in his sensitive ears, it was imprinted into his memory the very moment it began to fade. As she immediately began her plummet back to earth, his body erupted, a cry of nirvana wrenched away from his throat; his spirit reached out to catch her as she fell. Holding her tighter still as pure pleasure escaped his body, he shuttered all around her, relished in the liquid heat of her, died a little, gave a prominent part of himself to her. The sudden conversion of their souls into one was as apparent to him as the air he breathed, and it was a feeling powerful enough to give him one happy, elated, blissful sob of completion.

He pealed himself away from her slowly enough, for her sake, but didn't have it in him to move very far. The moment he was safely outside of her body, he collapsed again, having moved just barely to the right to avoid crushing her beneath him. Half of his body still laid over hers, the flesh-on-flesh contact a delicious sensation, and their eyes met for the first time as mates. Her eyes sparkled, hinted with the tears she had shed. He smiled weakly for her. She smiled back. Somehow, even knowing that the pain had hurt so bad it maybe had the power to kill them, it still hadn't been anything less than what they could hope for. They were one. Inuyasha reached out his hand, cradled her neck as he kissed her sweetly, just for a moment while they caught their breath.

They rested their faces against each other. It was many moments before Kagome found the voice to speak, "I knew it would be special… being with you."

"… Ke-eh." The sound he made was weak, exhausted, lacked real heart because he couldn't deny that he felt the same way. The blanket of exhaustion shrouded over her face as well, and he hugged her to him as he folded the blanket over them. The orange glow of the fire illuminated her moist face in a glow. He couldn't remember her looking more beautiful than she did now.

Cuddling only for a minute, it didn't take long for exhaustion to catch up with them, and within five minutes, they both dozed off to sleep, entangled in each other. The redness of the sunset faded away into a night sky, full of more stars than ever before.

To be continued…

**Hurray! (hugs)**


	40. Ch 40: Ten Words

**Hey folks! I'm back. There's a very small lemon in this one, but nothing too graphic. Prepare yourselves!**

Ch 40: Ten Words

Something wasn't right. He could feel it in his bowels.

He awoke slowly, and instantly the nightmare was gone from his mind, but the one picture he took away from it was the sight of a blood-red sky. His heart pounded uncomfortably, his soul troubled even with his mate's naked body beside him. It took another few seconds to realize they had fallen asleep just as they had been after making love for the first time. Inuyasha knew he ought to have awakened feeling better than he had at any other point in his life, but instead he was consumed by a feeling of dread. His mind was stirring, helplessly grasping for the dream that he somehow knew would help him, but in his memory there was only red.

He rose to his knees rather quickly and glanced outside at the ever-quiet landscape. His ears twitched and searched like a deer on the lookout for trouble. He gazed back at Kagome, her pale body gleaming in the light of the sunrise, her face peaceful and fanciful. And Inuyasha did smile just slightly as he bent over to kiss her temple; then, he wrestled on his hakama and stood up. He strode over to the entrance of the cave and peered out, his arms crossed lazily over his chest but his eyes frantic to search for the meaning of his unrest.

Birds were chirping all around, their voices elevated as they often were in the morning. Just around the corner, he could hear the sound of water pouring from the river into the pond. The wind was still whistling beyond the cliff. Everything was as it should be. Not a stone out of place.

Kagome woke up feeling the breeze on her exposed skin. The blanket had been moved away from her body and the morning air was chilling. But when she opened her eyes, she smiled. Memories fluttered into her mind as softly as a butterfly. She remembered the little yips of pleasure. The sounds of Inuyasha's breathing as it grew faster and faster. Tossing the rest of the blanket off of her, she eyed her own naked body, suddenly thinking herself beautiful. She nearly laughed, thinking of how the people of the Feudal Era would have scorned her if they knew, would have said that no man would want her now that she was spoilt goods. On the contrary, she felt untouchable. She felt brand-new. She wriggled her toes and stretched out her body, this new body, this wantable body.

A virgin no more.

She felt between her legs, knowing there was blood there. She could feel dried flakes of it break off under her hand. The breaking of that one tiny membrane of skin inside her only hurt for a few moments, but the pain was easily forgotten. She knew she now had a wound inside her that needed to heal, as it would in a few days. That realization, as vulnerable as it made her feel, also made her feel whole. The thought that she had given such an intimate part of herself to the man she would be with for the rest of her life.

Speaking of which, it didn't skip her mind that Inuyasha wasn't laying beside her. She turned over and found him with his back to her, gazing outside with only his hakama on. The sinewy shape of his back made her ripple with desire all over again, but she managed to keep her breathing in check. Everything about him was beautiful, so much so that she loved his flaws, his stubborn nature, his defiance. He always made it seem like it was so impossible to love him, and yet she couldn't imagine any woman could have resisted his compassion… not to mention he wasn't so bad to look at either… She continued to stare, unabashed. He was hers now, after all. The swelling of pride in her chest reached her every fingertip.

But he did seem troubled. She could tell by the angles of his ears that he was being cautious about something. She rolled around until she found his haori. She picked it up and ran her fingers through the rough fabric, and smiled. It was so cliché, but she couldn't resist the urge to slip on his haori on the morning after their mating. She had seen it in movies at least a dozen times, and something about it always seemed sexy. The haori was big and she wrapped it around her much like she would a robe. Sure, it didn't give her that sexy edge by showing off the entire length of her legs, but it still gave her that dreamlike feeling that she belonged to him.

Inuyasha was so preoccupied with his thoughts, he didn't even hear Kagome's approach until she slipped her arms around his waist from behind. He nearly jumped ten feet before he recognized the hands as hers. Instantly, he smiled. Now _this_ was how he was supposed to feel after a night of lovemaking. A peace so all-encompassing, it put all doubt from his mind. He touched at her arm with his own, running a thumb along the sleeve of his haori. "Hey." He greeted simply.

"Hey," she responded, just as simply but with an elated edge to her tone. It sounded like she wanted to say something else, but she then sighed against him and snuggled closer.

Inuyasha was weak at the knees in the feel of her. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't. I was just a little cold."

"I can start up a fire if you'd like." He laced his fingers with hers.

"No. We should probably be on our way soon anyway. I'm sure Mama has a full day of plans for me today."

He brought her hand up and took just a second to brush his lips on her knuckles. "Happy birthday."

"I should say so," she replied, her voice sounding almost drunk.

His smile was almost painfully wide. He couldn't seem to stop.

"So, what's wrong?" She asked, "Why are you staring outside? Is someone there?"

His smile faded, and he sighed. "No. At least, not as far as I can tell."

"You seem worried. What is it?"

"It's nothing. I just… had this feeling."

"What kind of feeling?"

"Like something's off. I can't explain it. Something happened in my dreams and I can't remember it, but it just… Whatever. Dreams can't hurt me." He scoffed as he tried to once again put his façade in place.

"Give it time. You'll remember." She murmured soothingly, "Don't worry too much. If you ask me, I'd say everything is perfect today." She rubbed her cheek against his back.

He smiled again, so easy in her arms. "You think so?"

"I know so," she responded firmly, "It isn't every day I wake up like this." She pressed a warm kiss in between his shoulder blades.

The gesture stirred him. His fingers squeezed her a little tighter, and then he glanced over his shoulder at her. She was so close to his body he could barely make out her form, but her closeness brought a haughty grin to his face. He turned slightly, letting her arms fall slack around him. He took in her figure. She was wrapped in the large folds of his haori like a robe. Her body was so small in comparison to his the clothing could have even passed for a blanket. And yet it dawned on him as he looked at her that she was probably wearing nothing else beneath that haori. Glancing back in the general direction of the blankets, he confirmed this thought when he saw that all her clothes were strewn about the surrounding area. His smirk grew wider.

When Kagome caught the unexpected look on his face, she backed away a few steps in confusion. "Inuyasha?"

The way he eyed her from head to toe sent shivers through her, ones that had nothing to do with the current temperature in the air. She hoped to God she wasn't blushing too hard, but by the time she thought she might have been able to regain some composure, he spoke, "Take it off."

"What?"

"My haori. I want it back. Lose it." His voice was firm and deeper than usual.

"… No."

He took a small step forward. "It's cold, wench. I want my haori back. Give it here." He reached out and tugged on one edge of the clothing near her breasts.

She nearly moaned. His eyes were darkened with wanting. His smirk was crooked and harsh, but almost wicked; it was too perfect. His predatory gaze should have frightened her. Instead, it aroused her. She knew the moment he caught the scent of it. His face glowed in the knowledge of it.

Inuyasha didn't know where he gained this sudden flair for seduction, but she was responding to it oh so well, he couldn't resist. He ran his thumb along the outline of his haori at the neck, chaffing her skin, and her scent grew stronger. He grasped it and attempted to pull it off, but she took a step out of his reach. He began to growl. The sound was low and distinctly non-threatening, but he knew the sound made her weak. He could see the shyness in her gaze. He wouldn't force her, though. He wouldn't need to. He knew she was mere seconds from succumbing.

But before long, she was resisting just as playfully as he was insisting. She, too, began to smirk and shoot him with that lustful look. "No, I don't think so. I rather like this haori. Perhaps I'll keep it."

"That's stealing, wench," he smiled as he came closer to her, compensating for each step she took back. "Mikos aren't supposed to steal."

"I highly doubt that applies to a miko's mate," she said, her gaze brightening at the words, "What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours."

He reached out, grabbing her before she had the chance to step back again. He reached her hips and pulled her against him, tightly. The look in his eyes clearly told her that he absolutely agreed with that sentiment, and he was going to use it to his advantage. Before she could playfully evade him again, his lips fell hot over hers.

She knew it wasn't long before she gave up to the passion in his kiss, and in mere seconds, her body was begging him for attention. He deepened the kiss with tiny flicks of his tongue, teasingly invading and then pulling away from her mouth. His hands kneaded hungrily at her back through the fabric of the haori, working his way up to the collar where he began to pull down. Kagome smiled against his lips, giggling dizzily as she finally gave in. It was she who pulled apart the folds of the haori, letting it fall open around the front, letting the back slip down her back as swiftly as silk. The sleeves remained on her lower arms, the red fabric arched around her lower back like she was a sensual diva. Inuyasha slipped his arms through the front opening and wrapped them around bare skin.

She shivered in delight when he moaned in response. Her breasts pressed perfectly up against him. As her nipples quickly hardened, he knew he was lost. He ran his hands over her smooth skin, pausing to grope in only the most sensual places. Her scent was heady, warm, and kind. The happiness he felt was so real, as real as the feel of her skin. He was giddy with it, he was full with it. The knowledge that she was his forever filled him with a kind of pride that would rival any youkai. That she truly wanted him like this, holding her and touching her as only a mate could, was worth more than any gift, more than all the strength his youkai heritage could give him, more than the shortcomings of his humanity.

He clutched her to him so closely, she arched back hard. He was relentless on her senses. His lips were sweet and very very hot under his breath. A feeling that all was right with the world assailed her. As strong and as rough around the edges as he was, he couldn't hide the tenderness in his touch.

Suddenly, she laughed, and the sound was as thick as honey. "So, aren't you gonna take it?"

"Take what?" He mumbled as he nibbled her bottom lip.

She laughed harder, "Your haori."

It took him a moment to process that, and then he snorted, "Screw that."

He backed them up towards the blanket. She suspected he had kicked out the back of her knees, because she had a strange sensation of falling, and in the next half of a second, she was pinned between the warm blanket and an even warmer hanyou. His skin closed over hers like a whisper of the sun. She could feel his pulse against her, and with it, a passion that made her want to weep. She wanted to fade away into him, absorb the oils of his skin into her arms, breathe fire into him. He was kissing her now with a gentle smile on his face, one that seemed perfect on his cheeks, one that he couldn't stop. Never before had she seen him look this happy before. It was uplifting in a whole new light. It thrilled her to know that she pleased him.

Inuyasha traced his lips only vaguely over her lips and cheeks, sampling the taste of her. His mate was far more fragile than he was, and though she had proven to him the night prior that he need not hold back while they were intimate, he was overwhelmed with the need to shelter her. It was an illogical emotion, feeling as though the slightest and most insignificant thing could damage the bond between them, and feeling as though it were possible to protect her from anything and everything that might do her harm. Whatever the reason, he had no need to rush. With her, it was always easy to take his time. Now, they had forever to get to know each others' bodies. If only he could convince his own body that he could in fact afford to wait.

He ran a gentle hand from her breasts to her navel, then down below her legs. She breathed in ragged breaths that made him smile. Perfect. He didn't waste any time. In the back of his mind, he knew that they were in a rush to get back to Kagome's home, but it would be worth every second of the delay if they could have just a few more intimate moments. He cradled her firmly yet gently as he thrust inside her, silencing her gasp with a rough kiss. He rocked against her, never taking his eyes off her face. Occasionally, she would look at him, but mostly she did not have the strength to keep eye-contact with him. Her eyes fluttered open and closed multiple times in a beautiful display of desire. Her gasps begot whimpers as his pace quickened. Though he consciously tried not to let his own emotions be so obvious, he couldn't help the light moans that escaped him.

She felt like a gift from the gods. As he gave her his all, she didn't stop encouraging him. Her small hands kneaded his back, her hips hugged his so caringly, her lips eased the pulse in his throat. Her skin seemed to mesh perfectly into his own. Strange, he thought, that he could feel an emotion as dangerous and rough as passion at the same time that love dominated his every movement. He wanted to make love to her violently and yet strove for gentleness.

Kagome was both frightened and exhilarated. The feelings inside her were too powerful to handle on her own. Her small body didn't have enough space to contain it all. As though she was drowning, the air she needed seemed just beyond her reach, even as it filled her lungs. But instead of fighting to escape, she moved herself into him, complementing his rhythm. She was too weak of heart to hold back.

This time, their lovemaking was quick but no less shaking than the night before. They came together, happily. When it was over, Kagome clutched him to her chest, not willing to let go of him so soon. There was an odd feeling after they made love. As though the pleasure inside her was a tremendous weight upon her and with its release, the world was lighter. Even the air felt lighter. Like she was floating in space for a few moments, weightless. It was beautiful. It's what she assumed it was like when someone died a peaceful death, simply drifting away into the nothingness and striped of earthly burdens. Her heartbeat was so fast and loud she barely recognized it as her own. Her mind truly must have thought she was dead.

Inuyasha nuzzled his nose into her jawline and neck. Yes, he was happy. Far happier than he had ever been before. He couldn't keep himself from touching her in any way he could. After a few moments, he rolled onto his back, but kept her clutched against his chest. With her body free and available, he was able to stroke her skin to his leisure. He'd never pondered before how spiritual the sense of touch was. Even the texture of her skin on his fingertips made him feel whole. Their souls were one and the same now, and he swore by the feel of her that his need to touch her was a hunger for spiritual contact. The idea of eternity with her was not frightening, was not worrisome. It was as natural as the day he met her. An inevitability. There wasn't anything that could change how he felt about her.

He sighed, "Why do you love me, Kagome?"

She smiled; he felt it on his skin. "Many reasons I suppose. You're strong, devastatingly handsome," she exacerbated the word to its full extent, "and also brave, compassionate, loyal," she lifted her head up so she could look him in the eye, "even when you're rough, you're still kind, good-hearted, loving, devoted…"

He managed to hold back a laugh, but he was pleased. "Wench, those are all the same things."

She kissed him, "Not to me, they aren't. There are a million words I would need to describe you. More than I know. More than what probably exists."

He buried his nose in the back of her hair. He didn't know what he would do without her in his life.

"How about me?" She asked, "Why do you love me?"

He snorted. As if he needed a reason to fall in love with her. But a thought did come to mind. "Easy. You're just as stubborn as I am. You won't ever let me get my way."

She frowned. "That wasn't in the least bit romantic. If I'm trying hard, so can you." She sat up, pouting, and glared at him, "And what do you mean I don't let you get your way? I just let you have sex with me again, and I don't let you get your way?" She blushed hard.

His face got serious and he rose to bring his face closer to hers. His hands clamped down on her arms to keep her from moving away. "That's not what I meant, Kagome. You don't take shit from anybody, especially me. Everyone else was afraid to challenge me before you came into my life. You challenged me even when I could have killed you in any instant. You messed with my emotions more than anyone else ever has."

She heard something else in that last thing he said. Something in his eyes. There was more warmth in that phrase than the words implied. 'No one has ever gotten to me the way you have.'

The corners of her mouth twitched upward into a smile. His face relaxed but remained serious as he studied her eyes. "You never lost trust in me," and he smiled, "Stubborn, as far as I'm concerned."

She happily curled into his lap again and kissed him senseless. Stubborn, maybe, but just as much as him. There would be no dominance in this relationship. They were equals. Though such a concept was expected considering where she came from, knowing that it wasn't the usual in his world, that meant something. "What else?" she muttered.

"What?"

"Is that all? I just gave you a million words and you give me 'stubborn'? Surely, there's more to it than that." She demanded.

"You stopped at about ten words, wench. Not a million," he smirked, "You got lazy."

She narrowed her gaze, "Mine was still a whole lot better. I should get at least another nine, don't you think?"

She really was pushing it. It was enough for him to be this romantic with her, but to put it in words? Some things would never change. He would never be lovey-dovey no matter how much she wished it. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on!" She exclaimed, "Please… Humor me. You can even be your pushy, unromantic, baka self. I don't care. But we ain't leaving until I hear them."

He was wise enough not to tell her that he didn't mind the idea of staying like this with her forever. But no. It was best to just let her have it. It took only a few moments for him to start. "Stubborn…"

"You've already said that one."

"Let me finish," he chided, "Stubborn… brave, loyal, smart… stupid…"

"At the same time?" She giggled.

"Yes," he murmured against her cheek, and sighed, "Beautiful."

She gasped lightly. She wasn't expecting a word _that _meaningful. If he was going to say that, she would have expected him to tone it down to something less powerful. It made her heart flutter like a butterfly.

He went on, "Kind," he smelled her hair, "Sweet… strong."

She rolled her eyes at that. Of course she was really the weakest one in the whole group, but she thought better than to challenge him on that one. "And…? One more."

He kissed her fully. For a moment, she expected to hear something hopelessly poetic, something like 'mine' or 'perfect', but to her dismay, he ended the kiss and shrugged casually, "Ramen."

She blinked, "Ramen?"

He gave her a lopsided grin. "That's ten."

"'Ramen' isn't even a description. It's a thing."

"Doesn't matter to me. I don't have a million words to choose from."

She sighed. He kissed her cheek sweetly. She grabbed her t-shirt nearby and pulled it over her head. As soon as her head and arms were through the sleeves, Inuyasha grabbed her hands to stop her. His face had gone serious again, and he stared at her hard. "You're mad at me."

It wasn't a statement. It was a question. She sighed again and brushed his cheek with her hand. "No, I'm not mad. I've pushed your emotions enough for one day. We'd better get back to Mama. She'll be waiting for us."

He seemed satisfied with that answer.

Within a few minutes, they were packed and ready to leave. As Kagome climbed onto his back and settled against him, she giggled, "If you love me for the ramen, I'll have to remember to stock up when we get there."

He smiled. Couldn't disagree with that.

To be continued…

**Sort of a pointless chapter, but it's been in my head since I first thought of the story, so I couldn't bear to leave it out. Hope you enjoyed it in all its fluffy glory. (hugs)**


	41. Ch 41: Incentive

Ch 41: Incentive

The four humans in the hut drank their tea quietly. Sango, Miroku, Kaede, and Kohaku. Shippou did not play beside them. Instead, he wrote down as well as he could from memory everything Kikyo had said. First of all, because he knew she had left them clues in her final words which they could not afford to miss. Second, because he felt in his heart that putting her voice down in permanent ink would immortalize it, immortalize her.

_A prophecy… Inuyasha and Kagome… Kokuei intends to stop it._

_Can't tell… The prophecy is the key to destroying Kokuei._

Sango petted Kirara absentmindedly. Gazing at the eyes of everyone else in the room, she knew there was no need to speak. They were thinking the same thing she was. Inuyasha was set to return today, along with Kagome. How would he react when he heard the news? How could they bear to tell him?

_You do not understand the extent of his power. I have seen what he can do… Foolish enough to associate with him… He can't be underestimated… Even if he is born of Inuyasha's soul, he carries a piece of Naraku that gives him power beyond what Inuyasha is capable of. _

Kaede held the small pot in her arms. When Kikyo had passed, her entire body had disintegrated into dust. No bones, no hair. Only her clothes were left behind. That there was nothing left of her to mourn was another dagger in Kaede's heart. Would Kikyo truly be peaceful when she couldn't be given a proper funeral? Then again, she _had _been given a proper funeral fifty years prior. Kaede had to believe that would be enough to redeem her soul. Still, she gathered as much of the remaining dust as she could into a small pot, hoping to give herself a second chance to mourn her sister, no matter what the gods wished.

_Don't give him the chance to surprise you. Track him down yourselves, or he will strike when you are least prepared… At Naraku's castle. _

Miroku went through prayers in his head, wishes to send Kikyo to a peaceful afterlife. He had lost his status as a man of god when he married Sango; there was nothing he could say that would help Kikyo now. Still, he recited the prayers in his thoughts, as though it were enough to think them to make them real.

_The only thing needed now to destroy him is The Faith. The time will come… on the night of the new moon._

"Miroku," Shippou spoke softly, "I've written down what Kikyo told us. Everything I can remember."

He handed Miroku his parchment paper. The ex-monk winced at the writing. So formal, so lacking in colors. Even the very nature of a child was absent from his writing. He read the words one by one, but he hadn't needed to read them to remember them. He had thought over Kikyo's words as well.

"A prophecy," Miroku mused.

"A prophecy that we unfortunately can't be told about," Sango muttered in frustration.

True, it would have been of great use if Kikyo had told them exactly what the prophecy entailed. But Miroku knew of the dangers of messing with things that were still to pass. If they knew of the prophecy, would they not alter the course of it in their favor? In doing so, was it possible that they would destroy some vital change in fate? Would simply knowing it change its effect?

"Well, at least we know why Kokuei is after us. As powerful as she says he is, it's obvious that he fears this prophecy coming true."

Sango sighed and looked away. Not knowing what the prophecy was… Perhaps it was just as much a threat to them.

Shippou suddenly lifted his head up, "Inuyasha."

They all lifted their heads in turn. "What's that?"

"I can smell him," he said, his little nose twitching, "Kagome, too. They've come back."

Miroku sighed so deeply it shook his bones, then got to his feet. "Let's get this over with." He said, "It'll be better for all of us if we can let go of his burden."

He stepped from the hut into the open air.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kagome stretched her hands in the air. "Aaaah… It's good to be back."

Inuyasha didn't say anything. He just wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him, bringing their walk to a halt. He had stopped many times to kiss her in the past day. She had a feeling it had to do with the fact that as soon as they returned to the others, he would have to be a little more distant. He simply wasn't comfortable with public displays of affection. She couldn't deny that she was a little disappointed, but his insecurities on the issue couldn't be help. It didn't matter anyway; she was still telling Sango about the latest change in their relationship. It was hard enough to keep quiet about it on her birthday party, surrounded by all her friends. She couldn't possibly keep quiet around anyone else. If she could keep Miroku from figuring it out for a while, it would always be a plus, but eventually Inuyasha was going to have to just deal with teasing.

Still, now, he was happy. She could see it in his face. When they had returned to her home and she had surrounded herself with friends and presents, he couldn't stop looking at her. She constantly caught him staring, and he was glowing. On the first occasion, she had laughed. He was glowing like a woman does when she's in love. But with that thought, she realized that her face probably put his to shame. It was a surprise that everyone didn't know the truth. At one point, Inuyasha had pulled her aside and whispered in her ear that she was blushing beet-red. It took way to long to compose herself. By the end of the party, though, no one had asked any questions. It had gone off without a hitch.

As they walked back to Kaede's hut, Kagome dragged her feet. She really _really _wanted to stop and have a few more moments alone with Inuyasha… perhaps more than a few more moments. Of course, she knew he wanted to, too, but there was business to take care of. They needed to start strategizing on how to stop Kokuei. She gripped Inuyasha's hand in hers as they walked, but as soon as the hut came into view, Inuyasha let go of her. She scowled at him for it, and he laughed. As soon as the others were out of sight, she was going to jump on him and make him beg for mercy.

Kagome's eyes lit up with she saw Sango and Miroku waiting for them just outside the doorway. "Hey guys!" She waved, "We're back!"

Sango's knees suddenly buckled. Good God, did they realize how happy the two of them looked? Of course, Kagome always looked joyful when she met up with them, but Inuyasha was a dead giveaway. His eyes were sparkling so beautifully that she could see it from a distance. On any other day, the sight of it would have filled her heart with joy. Today, it made her sick to her stomach. Tears clouded her vision and she could not stop them from spilling onto her cheeks.

Miroku could not bring himself to smile either. The only thing he could do was let them come closer, and watch as their faces fell in confusion. Kagome was the first to frown, "Miroku-sama, is everything alright?"

Inuyasha followed suit, but he joked, "Yeah, monk. It looks like you swallowed a bug or something."

Sango knew the moment he had caught scent of her tears, because his face fell considerably. He glanced between herself and Miroku multiple times. "What happened?"

"Inuyasha…" Something about the way Miroku said his name made his chest tighten. "There's been an accident."

Kagome gasped, "Is everyone alright? Shippou-chan… Kaede-ba-chan…"

"I'm here," said Shippou as he and Kaede filed out silently.

"We're both fine," Kaede said solemnly.

Kagome clutched the end of Inuyasha's long sleeve, subconsciously reaching out for something to ease her panic. "What's wrong then? What happened?"

No one answered her. Inuyasha's temper flared up. "Damnit. Someone better start talking before I really get pissed off."

It took a moment, but Miroku stepped out in front of Inuyasha, and faced him directly. "Inuyasha…"

Something about his stance… They both knew that Miroku was directing his attention not to the both of them, but precisely at Inuyasha, and realizing that made the hanyou unbearably uncomfortable. The look in the monk's eyes cut him to the core. He knew immediately that it was something he was better off not hearing about, and yet he couldn't possibly _not_ listen. The most vulnerable sensation he had ever felt before ran through him like a shockwave.

He reacted to the feeling the only way he knew how. He grabbed hold of the front of Miroku's clothes and clutched them tightly. "Miroku…"

"Inuyasha…" He struggled to get out, "It's…… Kikyo."

Like ice cold water had been poured into his veins… Inuyasha shivered. "Wha…?"

He brought the monk closer to him now, looking at him threatening. It didn't matter that they were friends. A part of Miroku wondered if it would stop Inuyasha from retaliating against him. "What happened, monk? What the fuck happened?"

"She's dead," Sango said, her voice shattered.

Inuyasha's fingers released Miroku. He didn't have the strength to hold on. His ears were suddenly deaf to anything, and he didn't know if anyone had said anything else. That small phrase alone was enough to send something large, powerful, and unwelcome straight down his throat and crashing into his chest. He didn't know if he had lost his balance, but he must have because the next he was aware of was that Kagome was holding his body upright, and she was crying.

He shook his head, slowly at first, and then furiously. "You're lying."

Miroku shut his eyes tightly for a second, "We've not lying, Inuyasha… Kokuei got to her… She made it to us only minutes before she passed. We did all she could for her."

Inuyasha's breathing was becoming harsher and harsher. Before he knew it, he was hyperventilating. The pain in his heart grew ten-fold, but he wouldn't let it take him. If he denied it, this would go away. This was all a nightmare. It couldn't possibly be real. As long as he told himself so, he would wake up. Still, Miroku's eyes bore into his with unheard-of pity, Sango's cheeks were drenched in tears, even Shippou was pale and stiff. Bile rose to choke his throat, and he grimaced to keep it down. "No…" He mumbled, "No…"

Kagome clutched him tighter, crying into his haori, feeling every subtle shift in his body as the truth settled in. It broke her heart in far too many ways. Unexpectedly, he had grabbed onto her wrist, as if he desperately needed her support. She gave it to him without hesitation. Her arms were like a vice around him, her face pressed into the back of his shoulder as her body worked to keep his upright.

He was breathing deeply now, his face hopeless as he stared into the faces of his friends. "No… How?"

"We don't know… We found her in the fields. She told us that Kokuei attacked her." Sango said, fighting to get the words out, "We couldn't do anything to save her, Inuyasha… She died peacefully."

"Oh God," Inuyasha said as he caught sight of the clay pot in Kaede's hands. Her arms were wrapped around it lovingly and protectively, and it was enough to convince Inuyasha of everything. He took a step forward, out of Kagome's embrace, tempted to take hold of Kikyo's last remains, but he stopped himself. He couldn't bear to do that now. Couldn't bear it.

Suddenly, violently, he had the need to be alone. He stumbled away from them, all of them. Shippou suddenly cried out, spilling tears onto his cheeks, "No!" He cried, "I'm supposed to tell him!"

Sango reacted quickly. As Shippou leapt towards the retreating hanyou, she grabbed onto him and held him to her shoulder. The kitsune struggled against her and bawled when he couldn't break free. "Not now," Sango chided quietly, her voice weak.

"But I promised!" Shippou cried, "I promised Kikyo I would tell him."

That caught his attention. As much as he dreaded it, as much as he feared it, Inuyasha turned his face towards the little one. He knew by the look on his face that it was yet another thing he was better off not hearing at the moment. 'But what the hell,' he thought cynically, 'It couldn't be any fucking worse than this.'

"What is it, Shippou?" He asked weakly.

Shippou didn't hesitate, "She wanted me to tell you that she loves you… That's all."

He shut his eyes tightly, 'That's all?'

But every fucking memory of her came to his mind. The moment he first laid eyes on her; their very first encounter; the countless times she had pinned him to trees with her arrows when he came seeking the jewel; that day he could no longer bring himself to hurt her; watching over her; fighting alongside her; deciding to become human for her; their first kiss. It burned a special place inside him he didn't know still existed. The woman he loved was dead. His first love. And it didn't matter that he had moved on from that love. It didn't matter that his feelings for her had changed over the years. It was still always there. All he knew was that at some point in his life, she had been everything to him, and it didn't matter because she was still lost to him. Before he could turn away, a tear slipped from his eye for everyone to see, and then he was gone.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Kagome remained, but separated herself from the others. She didn't have the heart to talk to anyone now. She also didn't have it in her to be spiteful. Perhaps it was because she knew there was no reason to be jealous of Kikyo anymore. But Inuyasha was hurting. She knew it. How couldn't he?

After a moment of composing herself, she excused herself to follow him. She still knew that they couldn't afford to lose sight of Inuyasha, and even so, she didn't like the idea of him being alone right now. It was too painful to think of him suffering alone. She knew that if he was left alone to his own thoughts, he would start to think that Kikyo's death was his fault. She couldn't bear to have him think that. He always twisted things around and blamed himself, even when he had no hand in the things that happened.

When she found him, he was sitting on the hillside, his legs drawn up and his head balanced between his knees. He looked unfathomably pitiful. Behind the sadness it caused her, she suddenly felt an upsurge of anger in her heart, fury that someone had hurt him like this. And she wished with every inch of herself that she had the power to make Kokuei pay with her own hands.

She approached him, but when she got close, something stopped her. Maybe he really didn't want to be comforted right now. Maybe he deserved a little time to mourn, just to get it all out of his system. As much as she hated to see him cry, she couldn't deny him that. She understood from personal experience that sometimes you just needed to lose yourself in tears, even if for just a moment. Inuyasha was a very solitary person. Perhaps he needed to deal with this pain on his own for a while.

But when she turned away, his voice stopped her, "Don't…" She froze. His voice was so broken. "Don't go… please."

She turned to look back at him. He had glanced up at her, his arm outstretched towards her, silently begging her to come to him. His eyes were glazed over and his cheeks were wet. She bit her lip to keep herself from shedding tears herself. _This_ she could never deny. She went to him. He pulled her down into his lap and enveloped her in a giant embrace that nearly overwhelmed her. He buried his face into the crook of her neck and she could feel his tears on her skin. As much as she could, she wrapped her arms around him. If he needed somebody to hold onto, she felt it her responsibility to let him know that she was here for him in every way possible. Even if she was just a weak human, she suddenly felt strength inside her. It was a strength that came from her duty to shelter him from pain. As mates, she remembered, their souls were bound. She was just as much obliged to his emotions as she was to her own.

She ran her fingertips up and down his spine and across his neck. She didn't allow herself to cry this time. She knew that right now Inuyasha needed her to be the strong one. Perhaps she could manage that for just a little while. 'Let me protect you, Inuyasha.'

After a few minutes like this, Inuyasha finally felt ready to face reality again. As though a world of pain had been washed away by his tears and Kagome's embrace, it became apparent to him again that not all hope was lost. There was still so much he had to be grateful for. His mate's arms around him, soothing him… that meant more than his feelings of inadequacy. She was with him, and so long as she stayed with him, he could live through anything.

He pulled back and kissed her forehead. She leaned against him and caressed his cheek with her fingers. He murmured, "Thank you."

"Are you alright?" She whispered.

"No," he responded truthfully, "But I will be."

She nodded. How glad he was that she understood this. Even if the three of them –Kikyo, Kagome, and himself - had a history together, he knew she wouldn't begrudge him his feelings for Kikyo anymore. Afterall, he had long since chosen Kagome. Even if she knew that he had feelings for Kikyo that would never go away, she also knew that he loved her more than everything else combined. Thank God she knew that, and thank God she loved him too.

"Kagome," he stared with deep meaning into her eyes, "I… I have to go after him… You know I do." She didn't answer. She just stared at him, her face unreadable. He continued, "I'm sorry. I don't have a choice… I have to avenge her-."

"We," Kagome interrupted firmly, "_We _have to go after him."

Inuyasha sighed and took her hand in his. "It'll be dangerous, Kagome."

"And since when has that ever stopped me." She said. He smiled at the determination in her voice. "You know perfectly well I won't let you face Kokuei alone. You can't stop me."

His smile grew, "I should have known when I made you my mate that you'd never leave me alone."

True, he could have put up more of a fight. But it was impossible to consider being separated from her again any time soon. He had learned from the last time that it didn't bode well for any of them.

She snuggled closer to him, "I think that's the idea."

He sighed and nuzzled against her cheek. "Thank you."

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kokuei welcomed the cold wind on his skin. The smell of Kikyo on his false body was exhilarating. Sure, she hadn't shed blood, nor had she really been alive in the first place, but tearing into her artificial flesh was no less satisfying.

Many nights he had pondered his last encounter with Kagome, and his shameful inability to dispose of her, all because of his pathetic hanyou counterpart that was unfortunately still somewhat connected to him. The hanyou's heart beat for the miko, and it ran so deep within his being that even Kokuei could feel it after being ripped away from Inuyasha's soul.

He smirked in the darkness. No matter. Apparently, he had succeeded in fixing this little problem. His murder of Kikyo had been somewhat of a test, just to make sure he could get past Inuyasha's feelings and get the job done. Though he understood that Inuyasha's feelings for Kikyo were nowhere near as strong as they were for Kagome, it had been a little hard to go through with it, but he had done it.

He ran his fingers along the blade of Chisaiga. It was thirsty, and this small village before him was so cheerful and unsuspecting. Sure, it didn't have a miko he could take, but the blood of them all would be enough to satisfy him for a short while… until Inuyasha and Kagome found him.

'The time has come,' he thought as he got to his feet. Slowly, with a glint of red in his eye, he made his way towards the doomed village, 'They want to find me, do they? Let's see how much time they'll take when I destroy every village one by one.'

To be continued…

**Okay… So not a lot happening in this chapter, but I'm so excited about things to come. Please, everyone, as always your written support is appreciated. Take care. (hugs)**


	42. Ch 42: Caught

Ch 42: Caught

Kagome giggled to herself. She couldn't help it. Whenever Inuyasha and her grandfather crossed paths, it was like watching a really good comedy. Everything that could go wrong basically would go wrong. Now that they were in her era, she didn't have to keep an eye on him constantly, but she still liked the idea of someone keeping track of him. Her grandfather was always in need of some heavy-lifting task, and Inuyasha was too respectful of her family to refuse him, even though she swore it pushed the limits of his patience. Her grandfather was not a very reasonable man.

At least it kept him occupied while she took care of a few things. The past day she had spent making countless errands for food and medical supplies. They were set to leave as soon as possible to find Kokuei. They didn't really know where to start looking, but they figured that if they kept heading in the direction of Naraku's castle, they would eventually run into him. Unfortunately, Sango had gotten sick, so they had to delay their departure for a few days. In the meantime, Kagome was going to fill what space she had left in her backpack with as much ramen as physically possible. Anything that would make this journey easier for Inuyasha. Luckily, it was summer, so at least she didn't have to worry about bringing many clothes.

She turned back towards her disaster of a room and sighed. 'Now if I could only find my face wash, maybe I could make myself look half-way decent.'

Despite having showered that morning, her face felt positively gross when she didn't use her face wash, and it wasn't anywhere to be found. She had torn the room apart by now trying to find it.

"God, Kagome. You fight a youkai in here or something?"

She jumped, not expecting Inuyasha to come back just yet. "Oh! You're back. I didn't think you'd be done yet."

"Well, that old man ain't, but I ain't putting up with his crap anymore," he said as he pulled himself fully into the room from the window. "If he doesn't like the way I carry something, he should get someone else to do it."

"Well, I can understand how it would make him nervous if you're carrying around a giant ancient artifact with only one hand," she pointed out, still rummaging through her drawers.

"Don't need more than one. I'm not a pathetic human."

"It's okay. I understand Grandpa can be a little bossy."

He growled, and suddenly pulled her away from her search. "You know, it really pisses me of when you don't look at me when I'm talking to you."

She started to glare at him, but a second later he had her back pressed against the wall and his face irrationally close to hers. She tensed. Should have realized he had another reason to bother her in the middle of the day. Everything about him was a surprise. She pushed him back. "Well, I'm busy looking for something. I'm sorry that you can't be my center of attention right now."

"Bullshit," he replied, "You owe me."

"I didn't ask you to help Grandpa," she stated, though his close proximity was enough to make her lose her breath a little. She had barely uttered the phrase.

His eyes darkened, his voice lowered, "I mean you haven't so much as kissed me in the past day. It's completely unacceptable for a mate."

Her breath caught in her throat. Despite the frustration in his voice, she could sense a sudden hint of seduction. He nibbled at her bottom lip teasingly and caressed her arms carefully with his warm palms, wanting her to succumb to him. Giving in for a moment, she kissed him back, intertwining her fingers into his hair. A second later she wished she hadn't. His kisses were so easy to read, and the hotness of his lips spoke volumes about what was on his mind, in spite of the fact that her entire family was going about their business in the rooms just below them. She broke away. She couldn't afford to encourage him when her family was so close by.

She broke away with a very audible gasp for air. "There. You have your kiss. Now why don't you take some ramen and let me continue looking."

For a moment, he did glance over to the huge pile of ramen just beside her bed, and he actually did appear to be considering it for a second, but his arms never dropped from around her. He snorted, "Keh! I can have ramen anytime."

"Wow," Kagome mumbled as he returned to kissing her. He ran his lips up and down her neck. "That's a first." He didn't appear to be listening to her. She gasped as his hand ran up the bare skin of her back under her shirt. Did he realize just how easily he could manipulate her? She felt him smile against her. Yep, he definitely did. She shivered, hard, wondering if after spending an eternity with this hanyou she might get use to how her emotions responded to his touch.

He surprised her by grasping her thighs and lifting them to hitch around his waist. Now she knew she was in trouble. Even if she truly wanted to escape him she wouldn't be able to. She sighed and shook her head in defeat as he nudged aside the collar of her shirt to kiss her shoulder. "You know you can have _me_ at anytime, too."

He pulled away from the wall, still holding her to him, and he looked positively defiant, "Like hell I can."

She gave him a very innocent, very sexy look, and kissed him lightly, hoping her promise would satisfy him for now, "Of course you can."

"Keh! You want we should do this on our little trip, in front of the others?"

She frowned at that. Her whole face seemed to fall. "I see your point."

He continued to kiss at her as he slowly moved them to her bed. All he had to do was kick away a pile of clothes and she was pinned between him and the mattress. She didn't resist whatsoever now as he enveloped her completely with his body. She didn't care if he dominated her with his insatiable urges. The sudden realization that they wouldn't be able to be alone for a long time was infuriating and totally unacceptable. At the same time as she did want to take advantage of what precious time they had, there was no way she could let this issue alone. He started to pull up her shirt but didn't make it past her neck. She stopped him, "Now just a minute!" In her voice, she was clearly agitated. "We could be gone for a month! Maybe more!"

"I know," Inuyasha mumbled in a sour tone as he finally succeeded in pulling the shirt off of her.

He started to kiss her cheeks, but she was pouting. "Are you telling me that you won't touch me for a month because you're too embarrassed in front of the others?"

"Oh, come on, Kagome," he said as he began lining kisses on the curves of her breasts, "You'd really want me to do this in front of the monk? The kit?"

She wrinkled her nose, "No, but… they don't have to see. We don't have to be in front of them _all _the time. A few minutes, at least."

He chuckled. The sound was low and all-too inviting, "Kagome, what I have in mind would take a bit longer than a few minutes."

She was growling by now, and she started to clutch him to her in defiance of his statements. Sure, it made sense that they couldn't get separated from the group too often. It was too risky when there was someone out there just waiting for them to show up so he could kill them. At the same time, there were two couples in the group which were married… mated… involved. Could the lecherous monk keep his hands off his wife for a month? Could Kagome keep her hands off Inuyasha for a month? As her heart raced faster and faster with his gentle ministrations, it didn't seem very likely that she could.

Then again… even Inuyasha was considerably passionate for a lover. Their current position in spite of logic was proof of that. Could _he_ keep his hands off her for that long? She twisted her mouth in both curiosity and suspicion. "I think you're bluffing."

He gazed up at her from where he was on her stomach, peering through a thick fringe of dark eyelashes that contrasted so sharply with his golden eyes it made her arms twitch. "I can handle it, if you can."

He kissed at her stomach, the lower swell of her breasts, around the edges of her nipples, slowly making his way back up to her face. He smiled at the outrage in her voice. It was good to know that in this regard, it wouldn't be too hard to get what he wanted. In all truth, he didn't know how he was supposed to keep away from her for a month or more. They were just mated, after all. No, even if they were on a quest, if he had to he would scare away the others for just a little time with his mate. Sure, he might get osuwaried for the tricks he had up his sleeve, but it would be worth it.

She angrily yanked at Inuyasha's hair, forcing him to look up at her, and she glared at him hard. It caught him by surprise just how possessive her gaze was. It aroused an intrigue in him that was completely foreign and yet very satisfying. "Now you listen to me, dog-boy!" His ears twitched at her long-since-forgotten nickname. "You are _not_ withholding sex! You got that? I don't care what you have to do."

He couldn't help it. He smiled brightly at that. Her pouting voice used with such a statement was simply too amusing to him. Unfortunately, this also meant he was found out.

Kagome's eyes widened slightly when she realized he really was bluffing, after all. "Oh, you jerk!" She shoved at him, "You tricked me!"

"But it worked. Whose fault is that?"

"Yours," she insisted, "It isn't nice to tease."

His hands fluttered over the waistband of her shorts, his breath whispered over the rise of her chest. "Actually, I think it was _very_ nice."

She winced, realizing that she couldn't exactly disagree with him. And she couldn't possibly be upset with him in a position like this. His lips sought out every available surface of skin in front of him and she was like chocolate in his mouth. It was sneaky of him, all right, but he had succeeded in removing all thoughts from her mind except making love to him right then and there. In the end, she smiled and pulled him up to kiss her lips, wrapping her hands around his neck intent on never letting go. He removed his shirts with ease, not even breaking off their kiss. She reveled in the feel of his bare flesh against hers. Embracing like this was, in her mind, one of the more intimate parts of making love to him… heart to heart. She could feel his heartbeat over her own. Hers was so strong it was almost painful. She wondered if such simple things would always be special to her even after years had passed. Like a typical married couple, would the passion eventually diminish? No, she wouldn't ever stop loving him nor stop wanting him, but would she ever get use to what she did to him? It felt like she knew him inside out, and yet there were things that he did to her, feelings inside of her that she couldn't understand. At times like this, she couldn't understand herself.

His breath was sweet and hot. She felt inspired and warm and loved all at the same time. It felt so safe when they were like this. Like nothing in the world could touch them, like nothing else existed. He had said that he would look after her, and there could be no doubt with how he treated her now. Despite the inherent urgency, despite knowing that they didn't really have all the time in the world, he took his time with her. He kissed her slowly and sensually, every touch from him meant solely for her sake. He meant to show her physically just how much he cherished her. He made her feel safe, relaxed, at home in his arms. It touched her in more ways than she could count.

She was smiling so beautifully, and his heart did that silly flutter it often did in recent days. The pleasure of having claimed her was still fresh in his mind. It made him crazy in a whole new way. He supposed it did have some merit. Normally when a youkai couple mated, they spent a couple days in complete solitude. They mated, slept, ate, and nothing else. Perhaps he was a little anxious that he wouldn't be able to get much alone time with her for a while. The idea of having to keep his distance from her while they were on their journey was infuriating, but he knew they couldn't hold back the search for Kokuei any longer. He was just going to keep terrorizing people until they came and confronted him themselves. Anyways, Inuyasha didn't truly expect to be completely celibate on this trip. Sure, it wouldn't be as often as he would prefer, but he could be just as sneaky at the monk.

For now, he was going to take advantage of the fact there they were completely alone together, in the quiet safety of her room. No annoying monks, kits, or other youkai to intrude on their time.

"_Kagome!"_

Inuyasha's ears twitched at the somewhat far-off sound. He heard it again. 'Just her mother.'

He growled, breaking off the kiss. This caught Kagome by surprise, as she hadn't heard her mother's call from the kitchen, but when she called the third time, Kagome did hear it. "Oh no!" She cried, "It's my mother."

"Shh!" Inuyasha hissed, "If you don't answer her, she'll go away."

She scowled at him. "She knows I'm here, baka. She'll come looking for me, and I'm _not_ letting her walk in on us like this."

She could hear footsteps on the creaking stairs. "Just a second, mama! I'll be down in a second!" She called out.

Inuyasha sneered, "Damnit!"

She sighed and gave him a sad smile. "I know." She rubbed his ear, "I'm sorry."

He looked somewhat let down and extremely frustrated. She wasn't feeling much better herself. What a time for someone to come looking for her.

He laid his forehead against hers. "Take care of that, and then I want you back in this bed right away. You got that?"

She giggled at his silly command. Even when he tried to be dominating, he was adorable. But his command was easily doable. As soon as her mother asked her whatever simple question she had on her mind, Kagome was racing right on back to continue right where they left off. She gave him a quick kiss as he rolled over so he was lying on his back. "I'll be back in a minute. Probably less than that."

He gave her a stern look. "You'd better, or I'm coming after you."

He sighed deeply as she pulled on her shirt again and sauntered over to her door. Glancing back for just a moment as she opened it, she couldn't hold back the blush on her cheeks as she looked at him. He had propped himself up in the corner of her bed, one knee propped up, his bare chest unequivocally dazzling. He starred at her with such a gaze of unfiltered longing it made her knees shake. He probably had no idea he could be so seductive just by looking at her. Now, she would have to move twice as fast.

She shut the door behind her and pranced to the kitchen, folding down her hair with her hands so she wouldn't look too conspicuous. Her mother was sitting at the kitchen table with a lot of papers in front of her. Mostly bills. "Hey mom! What did you need?"

"The insurance papers came today," she glanced up at her daughter with deep eyes, "I saw something on there about a desogen drug?"

Her mother had meant it as a question, but Kagome had no idea what that word meant. She kept quiet. Her mother went on, "Desogen… the drug for birth control."

Kagome's face must have plummeted. In fact, it must have smashed into the floor because suddenly it was like the world had caved in. Even knowing that the day would come when she would have to face it, the shock of finally having to deal with this was unbelievable. She had forgotten about it entirely and was completely unprepared for an explanation. And she wasn't very good at covering up her shock either. Her hands went straight to her face in a fruitless attempt to cover up her embarrassment. Her mother looked very cross. She looked more upset than Kagome had seen her look in a long time, and Kagome's mother was rarely anything but cheery.

'Oh God! She's angry!' Her mind screamed.

Not able to hold herself up in the doorway, she slid down to her knees. She probably hadn't looked this pitiful in a long time. She had expected her mother to be shocked, but she hadn't fathomed that she would be angry about it. Her whole family loved Inuyasha. Then again, just because they loved him didn't necessarily mean they would be okay with him sleeping with their little girl, and it didn't mean that it was okay to keep their relationship a secret from them. Her mother might not have even known that they were seeing each other. Inuyasha was always especially careful not to make physical contact in front of her family out of respect, and Kagome had never been specific about their little romance. She had always just assumed that they knew, but for all she knew, her mother had still been under the impression that they were just friends. Man, she had a lot of explaining to do.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God…" She repeated into her hands.

"Calm down, Kagome," her mother said, in a tone that almost sounded annoyed.

But Kagome couldn't calm down. She had never felt so mortified in her life. "Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God…"

"Kagome!" Her mother said louder.

Kagome tensed, waiting to be yelled at, waiting to be forbidden to see Inuyasha again, which of course was something she just could not do, which could only mean that she would shame her mother with her disobedience. But instead of a fight, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She peered out between her fingers to see her mother's sympathetic face before her. Her eyes were still blurry with the embarrassed tears she'd begun to shed, but that was clearly sympathy.

"That's better," her mother smiled, smoothing over her daughter's hair, "Now don't panic on me. I'm not mad at you."

"You're not?"

"No, I'm not. I _am_, however, rather disappointed in you."

Kagome sank into her shoulders in shame.

Her mother continued, "If you needed some birth control, honey, you just should have told me rather than sneaking around and hoping that I wouldn't catch it on the insurance."

Kagome shook her head, still hiding behind her hands, "I didn't! I wouldn't! I was going to tell you… eventually."

She sighed, "And when would that be?"

That one took her a moment. "… As soon as I'd remembered to."

"Well, I certainly hope you remembered enough to take the pill everyday like you are supposed to." She pressed softly.

Kagome blushed even harder, which didn't seem physically possible anymore. She nodded slowly with a heavy heart, "Yes ma'am."

"Good," her mother said as she patted down her hair, "At least that gives me peace of mind… I'm proud of you, honey. It's good that you're being so responsible. So many people your age aren't these days."

Somehow, her praise was even worse. It shouldn't have been, and she knew this, but it felt so false that a mother would say anything positive about her daughter's sexual behavior. "I…" She started, but couldn't finish.

"It's fine, Kagome," she said, "You're a grown woman. I understand that. As much as I wish you had made it clear to us where you stood with Inuyasha, I know it's difficult to talk about such things with your parents. I just want to make it clear to you that in the future, I must know about all your medical expenses including this one. I am, afterall, the one who's paying for the insurance."

"Oi, Kagome! What did I tell you?" She heard Inuyasha calling, his voice getting louder with every word.

"Oh… my… God, no…" She moaned.

Bad enough that she had to deal with this with her mom. She hadn't even told Inuyasha that she was taking birth control. Hell, he probably didn't even know or understand what that was. This couldn't possibly get any more humiliating.

She buried her face and hands into her knees this time as she heard him approaching from behind. "What are you doing down there, wench?" He asked innocently enough.

Kagome's mother glanced up at him. The serious look on her face made him stop mid-stride. He glanced between her and Kagome repeatedly. "What's happening? What… Are you crying?" He asked in surprise.

Kagome moaned as more embarrassed tears drenched her cheeks. Her mother combed her fingers through her hair comfortingly. "It's okay, Kagome." She smiled a weak smile up at Inuyasha as she got to her feet. "I guess you haven't told him yet, either."

Inuyasha got knots in his stomach. A crying Kagome was never a good sign, but that added to the look on her mother's look couldn't be anything but trouble for him. He tensed so hard he lost his breath. "What's going on? What didn't you tell me, Kagome?"

His voice was getting panicky now, and it only made her feel worse. He probably thought there was something wrong with her with how she was behaving. She squeezed herself into the tiniest ball she physically could.

"Kagome," her mother said, "Maybe… um… you should be the one to tell him."

She stepped over to the opposite side of the kitchen, giving the couple just a little bit of privacy while Kagome explained. Inuyasha bent down in front of Kagome, and with no hesitation, removed her fingers from her face, forcing her to look up at him. He sat back then, staring at her with a look that clearly stated that he was not happy she was keeping secrets. Kagome sighed, swallowed the fist-sized lump in her throat, and forced out, "I've… I've been taking… uh… birth control."

Silence. He stared at her with his face blank, as though waiting for more. Kagome moaned again. He was never going to make this easy for her. "It means that… it's a drug I take… a medicine… I take it so that…" Her voice tapered off.

"So that what?" Inuyasha exclaimed after a moment, "Tell me, already! If I don't start getting some answers soon, I'm gonna be really pissed."

Her face was so hot she was shaking from the heat. "I take it so that… I don't… I don't get… pregnant."

His reaction at that took far too long. First, was the blink of surprise, followed by curiosity, and then she watched as shock and comprehension slowly spread over his face. It was as though she could see the connection fall into place in his eyes with a click. His jaw dropped and all color seemed to drain from his face. He shot to his feet knocking into the kitchen table and flopping backwards onto it, "Oh fuck, Kagome!"

He had said it louder than he had intended, but it didn't matter. The implications of what she was saying made it perfectly clear why she looked so humiliated and why her mother looked so serious. He turned around, gaping at her mother, his mouth only sort-of moving as if trying to form words, but nothing would come out. Every once in a while, he would make little croaking noises as if the sounds were possibly going to work, but it never made it past a syllable.

Kagome was finally brave enough to look up at him. Inuyasha looked positively terrified. She had never seen him look this scared before, not even in front of Naraku. And he kept glancing between herself and her mother, as though testing the situation and figuring out whether or not it was viable to simply grab her and run.

Her mother simply smiled and leaned back against the counter, "I'm not mad, Inuyasha."

He looked at her doubtfully. The idea that a mother could be okay with her unwed daughter being involved with him -with someone like him- didn't seem very likely. Was their era so different in this regard? If this had happened in the feudal era, he would have been killed for sure, and the family would be disgraced. That single thought hurt him more than it ought to. Suddenly, he realized that he could have dishonored her family by not even asking for their permission. Sure, they weren't married, but their mating was even more powerful than the bonds of marriage. If he had done things the respectable way, he would have asked her mother first. At the time, he had been too focused on Kagome's needs than those of her family. Just as he had thought, he hadn't planned well at all.

Her mother noticed how suddenly crestfallen the hanyou looked, and she rushed to explain. "I've known that my daughter has loved you for a long time, Inuyasha. I expected something like this to happen eventually. It's just that Kagome hadn't talked about the nature of your relationship to me. I just found out about the pills…"

"Mom! Please stop!" Kagome groaned.

Both she and Inuyasha were bright crimson now, and her mother a gentle shade of pink. "I'm sorry, honey. I just want you both to know that I'm fine with it, but I don't want Kagome to keep anymore secrets from me about things that are this important..." She turned towards her daughter and addressed her directly, "You're still unmarried, Kagome. I just want you to be careful."

Kagome's breath caught in her throat. Marriage… She realized there was one more secret that she really ought to explain. "Yeah, well, about that… You see… Inuyasha and I sort of… are married."

Her mother's eyes widened, "What?"

"We ain't married, wench!" Exclaimed Inuyasha, as though her use of the term instead of their proper title as mates was an insult.

"Let me explain, Inuyasha. Things are different for humans." She said in frustration.

Inuyasha made a face. "Keh."

"What do you mean, then, Kagome?" Her mother asked.

How could she explain this with the least amount of words and the least amount of embarrassment? "Well, from what Sango and Inuyasha have told me, the relationship we have is what youkai refer to as that of mates."

"'Mates'?" She mused, "You mean that what animals do?"

"Not animals," Inuyasha said quickly, "Youkai… It… It means that our souls have mixed into one."

"Oh?"

Kagome continued, "It's kinda like marriage, but this kind is more permanent, because we're spiritually bonded. It's forever, actually."

"Forever," she echoed, and it took her another few moments to go on, "And you're sure you want this, Kagome?"

Inuyasha cringed. It didn't matter since they had already completed the bond, but the question coming from her mother sounded almost like a challenge. But Kagome didn't even pause for a second. "Yes, mama. I'm more sure of this than I've ever been about anything else in my life."

And her mother smiled, and Inuyasha thought that he was hallucinating. "Then I'm happy for you." She turned towards Inuyasha, "I always knew you could make my daughter happy. It's an honor to accept you into a family."

Inuyasha was sure he ought to bow or something… do something that might pass for respectable, but he was beyond any kind of etiquette by now. He just gulped very loudly. Kagome's mother sighed, "Thanks for letting me know." She made a move to exit the kitchen, but then stopped short. "Oh, and Inuyasha?" He looked at her as though she was ready to pounce on him. Kagome could tell by the look on her face that it was starting to frustrate her. "It's probably nothing to worry about, but could you please get off the table? We wouldn't want to break it."

Jumping up from the table as though he had touched something vile, he stood so high above her it looked like he could float away into the ceiling. She nodded to him, "Thank you."

To be continued…

**I really didn't like writing this chapter, but it was something I felt needed to be done. I hope it worked out well for you anyways. Please continue to humor me with your reviews and stay tuned for some upcoming excitement. Some very fun things are on the way. **


	43. Ch 43: Starlight

**A bit of a LEMON here… but it's cute, I swear!**

Ch 43: Starlight

Inuyasha was beyond grumpy. It seemed that whenever there was something important to take care of, there was something else that got in the way. Sango hadn't shaken her cold, it seemed, and it had turned into a kind-of full-blown flu. She could barely eat anything let alone move. It looked like they wouldn't be going anywhere for a while.

Of course Inuyasha lacked the patience to show even the slightest bit of sympathy. And Kagome was getting angrier and angrier with him by the hour with every complaint out of his mouth. It was bad enough that poor Sango couldn't manage to keep her food down and that she wasn't responding well to the medications, but Kagome knew her friend just hated it when someone pointed out her weaknesses. Whenever he was in the same room as Sango all he did was gripe about how much time they were losing because she was 'too lazy to tough it out' and that it was 'beyond pathetic to catch the flu in the summertime'. Naturally, everyone rose to the defense of their sick comrade, and he had been barred from the hut. Even so, he wasn't easy to ignore. He had tried consistently to keep Kagome out of the hut out of worry that she too would catch Sango's sickness. Fight after fight ensued, but they finally agreed that Kagome could continue to tend to Sango under the condition that she take various medications herself to keep the virus or bacteria or whatever it was out of her system.

Still, within a few days, Sango was insisting that she was ready to go. She had tried repeatedly to get up and walk around, trying to prove that she was on the mend, but no one was fooled. They all knew that Sango was not going to be cooped up in that hut for any longer, but their journey would definitely have to go slow.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Sango-chan?" asked Kagome as she watched her friend sip her tea.

"Yes," she replied, her voice a little airy. "Absolutely. I've been lying here for a week. If resting isn't helping me, maybe some activity will."

Kagome made a face, doubtful, "Maybe… But don't try to push yourself."

"Don't worry so much, Kagome-chan. Perhaps Inuyasha's right. I've got to tough it out."

"Don't let Inuyasha's complaints get to you. He's just impatient."

"I imagine you should be, too," Sango said with a knowing smile, "Newly mated… and you've been here with _me_ for an entire week?"

Kagome blushed. She had told Sango quickly enough that she and Inuyasha had finally taken that step in their relationship. As could be expected, she was nothing but overjoyed for the two of them. Unfortunately, Miroku also found out shortly after, and it was of no surprise to Kagome that he immediately began dishing out some teasing. She had made him swear he wouldn't tease Inuyasha, but it was probably worthless. Right now, he was too concerned with looking after his wife to chase around a hanyou, but as soon as they were on the road again, she had no doubt that the annoying questions would commence.

And Sango was right. Kagome hadn't gotten any alone-time with Inuyasha since they had come back from her era. A part of her was very grateful. She was still reeling from their confrontation with her mother about the birth control. Who knew what was going through Inuyasha's mind? He was probably embarrassed, just as she was. On top of that, what else? Was he upset with her? After their conversation with her mother, he hadn't even touched her. She had gone to bed that night alone in her bed with Inuyasha sitting upright on the opposite side of the room. The following morning, she had been too scared to question him. She was still too scared to. Too many questions were filling her mind. What did he think of her? What did he want? Did he ever even want children?

On the other hand, she was desperate to go to him. The world was a frightening place without him by her side. The world around them was dangerous, anyways, with a crazed youkai out there with intent to kill them. She couldn't admit to him that she was nervous. She couldn't tell him that Kokuei frightened her almost as much as Naraku had. She knew she had to be brave because they couldn't afford to hesitate out of fear, and no way could they lose track of Inuyasha in the middle of a fight. No matter how they took on this challenge, she needed Inuyasha's presence to keep her courage up.

Sango's voice shook her from her thoughts, "You should spend some time with him, Kagome-chan. God knows he could use a little help to lighten his mood."

Kagome bit her lip. She wanted to… and yet, she also didn't. Sango was the one to give the final push, "And besides, I haven't gotten to spend any time alone with my husband, either. Please, Kagome-chan. Get out of here and send in Miroku."

She knew Sango was trying to force her to go to Inuyasha. The nervousness on her face was likely as open as a book. And yet, once again, Sango was right. She, too, didn't get any quality time with Miroku this week. The monk didn't know much about medicines, but even Kagome had to admit that he would do everything to take care of his wife. Maybe just his presence would be enough to temper her illness.

With a heavy and almost mournful sigh, Kagome got to her feet and made for the door. As he had been for the better part of a week, Miroku was sitting just outside the doorway like a dog awaiting instructions from his master. It was actually a very amusing thing to see. She would have expected some kind of dog-like behavior from Inuyasha rather than the perverted monk, but he was more loyal to his wife than she had anticipated. She gave him a curt nod, signaling him the go-ahead. He rushed into the hut. Kagome giggled. He also must have been feeling lonely out here.

Her face fell. She knew where Inuyasha was. She could see smoke rising from off in the distance. Shippou and Inuyasha had set up a camp in the open fields behind a few dead trees. Inuyasha had been sitting there for a long time. She made a face. As long as Shippou was there, she supposed it wouldn't be too awkward between them… but why would being alone with him be both a bad thing and a good thing?

When she approached their meager campfire, Inuyasha looked up. She didn't expect him to look so surprised, but it was so sudden it was like it wasn't even there. He turned away an instant later and grumbled, "Keh! What happened to Sango?"

She had to bite her lip to keep from reacting to the bitterness in his tone. "She's fine," she bit out, "Miroku-sama is watching over her tonight."

He didn't respond to her. He didn't even seem to be paying attention. His face was angled as far away from her as he possibly could. It tugged at her heart in a very unpleasant way. She sat down by the far, so far away from him it was like they were strangers. The all-too-familiar feeling of cowardice welled up inside of her. The world was so big and frightening, ready to kill her, full of risks, and there was no comfort she could reach for. Brave as she had been throughout all her time in the Feudal Era, it was loneliness that made her feel like the world was crashing down on top of her, and all she wanted to do was reach for him.

She didn't. She was scared of too many things, too many options. She was too scared to open herself up to the possibility that he was ashamed of her somehow. Coming from a world like this, a world so different from her own, who was to say that he didn't find what she was doing horrifically unnatural and unacceptable? She knew she wasn't ready for children… and he thought that too, didn't he? Just mated, fighting a youkai, they couldn't afford to start a family right now. Why should Inuyasha be ashamed if this was exactly what was needed? Unless… it was something completely different. Maybe he wasn't ashamed of her at all. Maybe… he didn't _ever_ want children. Maybe this was exactly what he wanted. But even that left an empty feeling in her stomach. Her entire being ached to deny that she had wanted children in her future, and that she had yearned to someday have those children with Inuyasha. With a love as pure and as whole as theirs, how could she not at least fantasize about the whole packaged deal? Everything the Feudal Era had to offer them sans a picket fence. Her heart fluttered wildly at the thought of little ones with dog-ears running around her… Her family, growing up in the most loving household, under the protection of their proud father… She wanted it so badly it burned a hole in her chest.

Kagome pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin between them. With her gaze lost in the flickers of the fire, she didn't even notice that Inuyasha had shifted, but a moment later he was squatting beside her with a look of pleading in his gaze. "I'm sorry."

She blinked, "What?"

"You're mad at me, right? About before…" He looked pitifully to the flames of the fire.

"Well, no… I mean if anything you should apologize to Sango-chan. It doesn't really matter to me."

"I'm not talking about Sango," he admitted quietly, "I mean your mother. Ever since then you've… and I've…" He sighed, "I'm sorry."

Her heart flipped painfully in her chest. Never had she imagined that he would have a need to apologize over something he had no control over. She reached out for him, "Of course not, I-."

As soon as her hand touched his, a thousand hidden nerves came to life inside of her. Small little sparks of emotion erupted from inside her heart as though an earthquake had begun. As though the small physical distance between them over the past week had been just enough to take a toll on her body, the sudden sensation of his skin of hers was like a life-long thirst was being quenched. She hadn't even realized that she had been starving for him until she had him in her grasp again. Like there had been a cavity in her chest at his absence and she hadn't known it until it was filled again.

Tears rushed to her eyes to blind her, and Inuyasha's face dropped in a display of slight panic, "What is it?" He started, "What did I do?"

She didn't answer him. She fell against him. He had to stumble to keep himself from falling backwards into the fire, but he steadied himself and wrapped his arms around her. Hesitantly, he glanced over only to find that the kitsune was fast asleep, and he breathed a sigh of relief. The sounds of Kagome's sobs cut through his mind. He squeezed her body against him and lowered his head to whisper hot breath in her ear, "What's wrong?"

She shook her head, smiling, pulling back only slightly so that she could speak. "Nothing… It's nothing. I just realized that I haven't even gotten to hold you all week."

Inuyasha's body shivered at her answer. He too had felt lost this week without Kagome's constant presence. His attempts to get her away from the hut were not only for her health. He was also dying to spend a little time alone with her, just enough so that he could hold her in his arms and kiss her for a few minutes. And yet she had seemed so timid when she looked at him, it was like she was afraid of something… or angry… He didn't know which exactly. The only thing he could assume was that he had handled the situation horribly with her mother. Shame alone kept him from asking her before, but it was simply too much to keep away from her.

"Wench," he started, wanting to say so much more, but he stopped himself and pressed his lips to her temple.

He cradled her close to his chest, rocking her slightly because he knew the motion would soothe her. It didn't take long for her to stop. She backed out of his arms and wiped at her eyes, "I'm sorry… I don't know what came over me."

Inuyasha's ears perked up hopefully, "So, you're not mad at me?"

"No, I'm not mad at you, Inuyasha. How could I be? _Why_ would I be?"

Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably, his gaze falling to Kagome's feet. "I dishonored you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I've shamed your family, haven't I?" He shut his eyes, "Because you and I aren't married… just mated… and your mother doesn't approve."

"Don't be crazy, Inuyasha. My mother loves you." She said, pressed her palms against his cheeks, "She was just looking out for me, that's all."

"But…"

"No 'buts'," Kagome insisted, "You could never dishonor me." She came closer to him again, wrapping her arms around him and softly caressing the back of his neck with her fingers, "Things are different where I come from, you know. No one would ever be ashamed of what we're doing."

'Maybe not there,' he allowed, 'but here…'

He let her comfort seep into his system, but it wasn't enough to keep the wheels in his head from turning. She did come from a different world, but they spent the majority of their time in the feudal era. Even if her family didn't care in the end, what about everyone else? What would the villagers say about her behind their backs if they knew they were mated and yet unmarried? The mere thought of someone soiling her reputation with their foul names made his blood boil.

"Kagome…"

"Hmm," she murmured, snuggled into his chest like a contented kitten.

"Do you think… um… it would be better if I married you?"

She pulled away and looked at him. Her face held way too manner emotions to count. He couldn't pinpoint any of them. She frowned, as though pensive, and then shook her head. "It's not necessary."

He frowned too, feeling a sort of wall coming up between them, "How can you say that?"

"Because it's true," she said softly, too softly, "A small detail like that is useless to us. We're already mated. What more do we need?"

He tensed, and she could tell he was getting defensive. "But you're human."

"Yes, I'm human, and I also come from a place where marriage isn't required for a woman. Marriage doesn't say anything about real love, but what you and I have does. That's enough for me."

She wasn't lying. He knew at least that, but… "Don't you see, Kagome," he said, "It can't be enough. Even if what you say is true, how do you think the humans around here will react when they realize…?" He trailed off, staring back into the outer lining of the village. It looked so far away, so foreign to him even though he had known it for years. "Bad enough that you're mated to a hanyou. If they find out you're unmarried, you think they would just let that slide? They won't. There's no way they would ever accept you if they knew."

"You said the same about yourself, once upon a time."

He shook his head roughly, "It's not the same, Kagome. They will never treat me the same way that they treat the rest of you. They will always fear me, but you… If I at least marry you, maybe they'll leave you alone."

She was silent, then. He dared a peek at her to see there were tears in her eyes and that she was biting her bottom lip angrily. He narrowed his gaze, "You know I'm right."

She shook her head, and the tears finally spilled over onto her cheeks. He reached to wipe them away himself, but she beat him to it. "No," she mumbled, distancing her body and her soul from his in that very instant, and he knew that something was off, "We don't need it. That's not a reason to get married."

He growled softly, "What is, then?"

She didn't answer him, not right away. Staring into the fire as though she could swim through it, she fiddled with her hands in that way that let him know she was nervous. On top of that, she was thinking… way too hard about something as straight forward as marriage. "It just isn't," she replied finally, "People don't get married because they're afraid of what people would say about them." She made a face then, realizing that in this era it probably was common for a woman to get married to save her family's honor, or her own, if it was in jeopardy, "Well, at least not where I come from."

"And what _do_ people get married for in your time?" He asked sternly.

She sighed, "Security, sometimes. Unfortunately, sometimes, it's for money, but… mostly it's supposed to be for love."

He hooked her chin with his fingers and forced her to look back at him, and he said, "And you think I don't?", as though challenging her to deny what she knew in her heart was true.

She lowered his hand and shook her head. "Love's a part of it, but there's more. It's something you have to want to do. Not because you feel obliged to, but because it would make you happy… the both of you."

He digested that information in silence. The question seemed to bother her so tremendously and he hadn't been sure why, but there was a flicker of unease in her gaze. A sudden thought occurred to him, "Would it make you happy, Kagome?"

She bowed her head and shook it quickly, "Not if we do it for the wrong reasons."

He lowered his head against hers as though he could entice her to look up again, as though he could lift her spirits with that simple gesture. "And if I asked you to marry me because I loved you, what would you say then?"

She shut her eyes. She didn't have the strength to deny the truth of the answer that burned behind her lips. "I would say yes."

He sighed deeply, "Why?"

"Because…" she breathed, "if you love me, I can never deny you anything."

Inuyasha smiled, and he reached out to run his fingertips along her jawbone. She finally looked up at him. For a brief two seconds, his gaze was as soft as a feather, the amber glow of his eyes was thick with emotion, the gentle curve of his face showing the tenderest part of himself he was always afraid to show. Then, abruptly, it was replaced by the look of sheer determination that she knew well, "I will marry you, then."

She frowned just as abruptly, "You have to ask me first."

"Says who?"

"Says… well, someone did as some point, I'm sure."

He pulled her even closer to him, "Too late, wench. I already know you want me."

She rolled her eyes but stopped halfway when he began pressing hot kisses against her neck. Amazing, how easily he could turn her emotions on and off. "That isn't how it works. You're supposed to at least give me a chance to say no."

He paused from kissing her, moving his head up to whisper in her ear, "We both know you wouldn't, and I can smell you right now… You want me."

She couldn't help but giggle, "Is that so?"

He didn't answer her. Suddenly jumping up, he rudely nudged Shippou with his foot so hard it rolled him over a few times. The kitsune awoke with a yelp. "Baka!" He cried, rubbing his eyes, "What did you do that for?"

"Beat it, runt." Inuyasha growled, "Get back to the hut and don't come back out."

"But why?" the little one whined loudly.

"Now!" Inuyasha half-bellowed.

The kitsune didn't need to be told twice. He didn't know why Inuyasha suddenly wanted him to go back to the hut, but he wasn't about to question it if Inuyasha was in the mood to thump him. As soon as his bushy tail disappeared over the hillside, Inuyasha was right back beside Kagome continuing right where he felt off.

Kagome made a face, "Inuyasha. That wasn't nice."

"He'll get over it," he said as he nibbled at her jaw.

His hand somehow found its way to the back of her knee. Normally, that area was ticklish to any sort of touch, but it appeared that Inuyasha was right. She did want him, and it was enough that any touch of his skin on hers was like wine to an alcoholic. She could only want more and more of him, even if the desire had the power to destroy her. Dragging her against him with his hands, he forced her to straddle him. She gave into him as she felt the heat permeating his body even though the layers of clothes. She leaned into him, forcing him backwards onto the ground. He had brought out her sleeping bag to sit on, which was spread out a couple feet away. It vaguely occurred to her that they ought to move over to it or else they would get dirty, but she couldn't bring herself to break the magic of the moment again. Even if they ended up covered in dirt, she knew it would be worth it.

She dominated him, and he let her. She overwhelmed him, and he succumbed. He desired her so strongly he didn't know how long he could wait for her. At the same time, he knew that he could endure any torture, so long as she was happy, so long as she kissed him like this. Her body trapped his against the ground. He didn't mind the idea that she wanted to control him, but he wanted to be the one that made her moan with pleasure. There was nothing quite as thrilling as his mysterious ability to please her. It brought his lust for her to a whole new level. As much as he wanted to quell the ache in his own body, he was driven by a new obsession to make her want him like never before, to make her just as desperate…

He rolled them over, landing them snuggly on the laid out sleeping bag. He chuckled softly against her mouth when he felt her stiffen in excitement. He pulled back from their kiss to look into her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed a dark pink, her eyes sparkling in the light of the fire beside them. She was laid out with her arms above her head as though she were an offering to him. He inwardly laughed at the thought. One more night of passion with her would never be enough to satisfy him completely. Something about her would always leave him wanting more. If she was going to present herself so willingly to him, then she had to know just as he did that it was forever.

He decided to remind her of that.

"Kagome," he murmured as he came down to kiss her again.

Instead of lingering, however, he brushed his lips over her cheeks. At the same time, he wrapped his arms around her and pressed against her tightly through the irritating barrier of clothing. She cried out, but the sound was weak. He smiled. He could make her want him even more. Quickly but with infinite care, he pulled her shirt and sweater from her body. She shivered instantly. He stopped, "Are you cold?"

She shook her head, but he saw how she bit her lip to keep it from shaking. The summer night was warm enough, but the wind… With a sigh, he unzipped the corners of the sleeping bag and slipped one out from under them only to drape it over them again. It was probably best anyway. They might be alone, but they certainly weren't in private. Before he had the blanket completely over them, Kagome managed to kick off her shoes. She practically hurled them off her feet with the force of her kicks. Inuyasha chuckled as he saw one sail over the fire and land on the opposite side. Once they were both snug and warm inside the sleeping bag, he snuggled close to her, kissing her breasts with a slow urgency that made her ache.

She was both happy and furious with him. The last time they had made love, he had been quick to satisfy her urges. This time he was being unbearably patient. However, she'd bite her tongue before she said anything against it. His touches and kisses were so controlled and tender, she felt as though he could play her like an instrument. He could stroke her in ways that made her soul sing. He could make her feel like the physical embodiment of music, and she could float away into space if he didn't control her.

Violently, she had the need to touch him. Faster than he himself had done, she removed both his shirts. Because their arms were still somewhat free, it was easy for her to discard the clothing behind her. She laid her hand over his heart. It jumped out to meet her fingertips. She could feel his adrenaline rush even in herself. It was somewhat like fighting, like something their bodies had to do just to survive the chaos. He grabbed her hand with his, moving her, wrapping her arm around his neck as he turned to kiss the soft flesh of her elbow. The sweetness of that kiss made her gasp, forcing her breasts harder against him, against his mouth.

He delved lower still, turning his attention to her belly. A little more self-conscious about that part of herself, she still couldn't deny the awe she felt as she watched him kiss her. He didn't seem to be bothered by the untoned softness of her stomach. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying himself as he nuzzled his face against her. As though he was worshipping her skin, he made slow and deliberate moves on every inch he could find. She nearly cried as he pressed a hot kiss against her belly button.

"Inuyasha," she moaned, entreatingly.

He wasn't done with her yet. Nibbling at her hips, he reveled in the shudders he inspired in her. Far more than just her mouth, her entire body was a place for his discovery. He wanted to learn what she loved and hated. Perhaps the most refreshing feeling of all was knowing that he could take his time with her. They had an entire lifetime to get to know each other like this. He'd commit every inch of her to his memory, so that even when they weren't together, he would never really be alone.

His mouth stopped its trail at the waist band of her skirt, scowling at the material like it was an enemy. But thank goodness it was a skirt rather than pants. Much easier to remove. It took seconds to pull both the skirt and underwear down and away, with Kagome's help. He grinned in satisfaction, instantly smelling the spicy scent of her arousal as it intensified. He laid back down against her, pressing more kisses against her belly, but it was he who let out a moan this time. Right against his chest, a burning heat was scorching him. He dragged his hand down to meet it. She bucked her hips against him. He bit down on his lip hard. As much as he wanted to keep seducing her, the ache he felt was excruciating. He couldn't hold back much longer.

Kagome shuddered, moaned, stiffened as his fingers flexed over her hot skin. He was fascinated by the unbridled passion on her face as her head fell from side to side, her gentle breasts heaving. He wanted to know why it was that this touch affected her so. He wanted to know the secrets of the heat. Driven by curiosity and the desire to please her, he shifted again, his head slowly disappearing beneath the sheet of the sleeping bag.

When his lips found her, she cried out loud. She hadn't expected him to do this, and it frightened her and thrilled her at the same time. Her body shook violently but she tried desperately to keep herself still. He had wrapped his arms around her hips to hold her to the ground as he took his time exploring her. Vaguely realizing that it was dangerous to be so loud when there were others just a short distance away, she brought her hand to her mouth to muffle another moan. A kiss like that, in a place like that… it shouldn't have been the kind of thing that would make her fall apart like she did. Something so simple shouldn't have the power to destroy her, but her head spun in dizziness and her heartbeat was painful.

About a minute later, he blessedly stopped, returning from beneath the sleeping bag to press a calming kiss against her stomach. If he could only see how peaceful he looked in the light of the fire. Did he even understand how romantic it was to lie under the stars together with a fire blazing beside them? No, he wasn't romantic enough to notice, but just maybe… it didn't matter where they were, as long as they were together.

She pulled at his shoulders. She didn't have the physically strength to force him to, but he responded to it anyway. He rose up against her to kiss her lips. She clutched him tightly to her, refusing to let him move anymore. She wrapped her legs around his waist, only to gasp when she realized that his hakama had already been removed. She didn't even notice him take them off. She groaned long and hard into his mouth, earning her a deep chuckle. He broke off the kiss and looked into her eyes. For a few moments, they just looked at each other, their eyes full of peace and wanting. Then, Inuyasha pressed his lips against her forehead as he pressed into her waiting body. She trembled against him.

No longer willing to tease, no longer able to hold himself back, he didn't hesitate in his movements. Giving into the pleasure of Kagome, he groaned at the myriad of emotions she unleashed in him, both physically and emotionally. She felt just as innocent as she had during their first time, just as pure. Simple things like this would never fail to please him. Knowing that this was something they would only share together, to him every movement was precious.

She opened her eyes to look into his eyes as he quaked against her. Her cheeks were flushed dark from both passion and embarrassment, but he could see in her eyes that she trusted him with every inch of her. She did not fear his strength, nor did she doubt his heart. He buried his face against her neck with a loud moan as urgency built.

Her smile was so wide it hurt her cheeks, and when she gasped it made her lungs burn. Was it possible that she dying? Had she managed to spontaneously combust under the magnitude of passion in her heart? If she burned away into ashes, it would still be the most beautiful death she could imagine. She burned for him just as easily as a flame, as the fire that seemed to roar beside them. If she died that very moment, she would love him even in the afterlife.

The part of himself that he chose to share with her was just as precious as the world itself. This feeling, this motion… it was theirs alone. She reveled in the idea that no one would ever know him quite as well as she did. His body was just as much a part of her as her own. She would someday know every part of it. As the pace quickened, as his movements became more demanding, she felt something akin to possessiveness licking at the corners of her mind, and she had never felt so powerful.

His gasps thrilled her almost as much as her own. Too difficult to breathe, too hard to control her own body, all she could do was hope that her mind wouldn't snap. She kissed his neck, reveled in the feeling of his body as he shook against her, his breath hot and harsh against her hair. And just before the climax took her away, she could have sworn that a star, just like one above them, had burst into life inside of her, as though their very love had brought to life something more pure than the heavens themselves.

His cry of release was muffled against her neck, but when it was over, he didn't let go of her. He rolled over to his side but didn't release her from his arms. With care, he extracted himself from her body. She groaned. Somehow she knew she would be feeling that in the morning. He shifted his body, wrapping one arm under her head and around her shoulder, the other tightly around her waist. As their breathing finally slowed, she looked up at him. Her smile was for him and him alone. Her cheeks were dark with the excursion of their lovemaking, her eyes sparkling with something he hadn't seen before. Somehow she had become more beautiful to him in those few seconds than ever before. Once again, the knowledge that she belonged to him was enough to make him smile, too.

Her gaze became shy, "So, I take it you're not mad at me… about the pills."

He was quick to answer. "No. It's smart. It's the right thing for us." Something in her eyes tightened. "What?"

She turned her head away, tucking herself into the safe haven of his arms. In the end, it didn't matter what his answer was to that. No matter how much she wanted children, if he didn't want them, she wouldn't force him to. Until he told her otherwise, she would not press the issue.

"Out with it, wench," he said sternly.

"It's nothing…" she lied, "It's just that I'll have to make sure I have enough to last as long as our search."

He tightened his grasp, "You'd better. There's no way I'll be able to keep away from you for a month or more."

She smiled and blushed, "We'll just have to be very sneaky then, won't we."

He kissed her hair. The chill of the wind didn't affect her anymore. Everything about Inuyasha seemed to encompass her. The warmth of his body as well as his aura was all she needed as shelter. "Inuyasha…"

"Hm?" He murmured into her midnight strands.

"Do you think we could stay like this for the night?"

He sighed, but it was hesitant, "The others might come looking for us if we don't come back."

"Sango-chan wanted to be alone with Miroku-sama, too." She argued, "Please? Who knows when we'll be able to do this again?"

"Keh! Didn't you hear me, wench? I told you I ain't keeping away."

She rolled her eyes, "Inuyasha…"

He finally relaxed, "All right… You warm enough?"

"Uh huh," she responded.

Even so, he pulled the edges of the sleeping back up to her chin. Even if it was summer, the mornings were especially cold, and she didn't seem any more willing to redress than he did. He didn't think he would be the kind of guy to just enjoy lying around with her unclothed. It just seemed so vulnerable, but it made him feel so close to her. He was content just to lie together in silence, enjoying the warmth of her presence, until she broke the moment again.

"Inuyasha?"

He sighed again, this time it was more aggravated, "What now?"

"I think we should leave tomorrow. Sango-chan says she's ready. We should start searching for Kokuei." She snuggled in closer to him.

"Stop worrying, Kagome."

"I didn't say I was worried."

"But you are. I can tell." He whispered softly, "It'll be okay. Just promise me you won't wander off." She didn't respond at first. "Promise me," he pressed.

"I promise. Just don't make me regret that… Inuyasha?"

"Damnit. No more questions. Time to sleep."

"But…"

About a second later, the spiced scent of her sudden arousal hit his nose. Even with a growl of frustration, he rolled over her again, "Keh! You make it very hard to sleep, wench."

She giggled softly, the sounds mingling with the crackling of the fire and the whispers of his kisses.

To be continued…

**Teeheehee! Kinky. I just felt like the story needed another lemon before I continue with what's to come. So, in case this comes up, I'm figuring the whole birth control thing goes like this: just because Inuyasha knows the basics of reproduction doesn't necessarily mean he understands all the logistics of it. Therefore, even if they have been intimate, it doesn't necessarily mean that he intends to have children. In fact, there are a lot of people out in the world who don't understand why they keep getting pregnant until a doctor actually explains to them what is physically happening when a baby is made. Since Inuyasha has been an outcast his whole life from regular society, from the people who probably understand it better, I'm assuming it would be something similar for him. So… yeah… I'm just trying to legitimize Kagome's feelings here, but you probably get it. Anyways, hurray for birth control! One of the greatest inventions ever!**

**Okay, well I hope I haven't scared away too many people with my little lemon, but please everyone let me know how I'm doing. Writing lemons while still trying to remain romantic is a bit difficult. **

**(hugs) **


	44. Ch 44: The Search Begins

**Poor poor Sango. I confess that I needed something to slow them down, cause I realized that this would end far too quickly if I didn't handicap them in some way, and so Sango is my sacrifice. Muhahahahaha!**

Ch 44: The Search Begins

'Ow… Ow… Ow… Damnit!'

"Would you hurry up, already? We've never going to get there if you're so slow."

She glared at him, but he was many feet in front of her so she doubted he could see just how irritated she was. But when she looked around, she realized she really was holding them back. Everyone else was keeping pace with Inuyasha, stopping every minute or two to wait for Kagome to catch up.

When she caught up with them again, Inuyasha had an odd glint in his eye. "You sure you don't want to be carried?"

The mere thought of spreading thighs again to go around his waist made her nearly groan. "No thanks. I need to walk."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, "Then stop dawdling."

Despite what he said, he did slow his pace so that he could walk beside her.

The village to which they were heading was already in the distance. It wasn't that far away from their own, but they figured that if Kokuei had passed through the area, these villagers might have seen something unusual. They all figured that as long as they trailed the villages running from theirs to Naraku's castle, they were bound to find out something.

Sango was still feeling ill, so Kagome supposed it was okay that they were starting off slow. The poor woman was trying to show that she was on the mend, but it was obvious that she was in pain. She could barely even make herself eat. This did worry Kagome. If Sango couldn't keep her strength up, she wouldn't be much help in a fight. Still, as long as Inuyasha was beside her, she had to remind herself that they were safe.

Looking up to him, her face contorted into a scowl when she saw a huge grin on his lips, just as wide as a Cheshire cat. Even his eyes were looking at her with a cocky glow. Every inch of him seemed to radiate snugness.

She growled, "Oh, laugh it up, fuzz-ball."

She forced herself to ignore the ache in her lower abdomen as she moved ahead of him to walk beside Sango. She heard his airy chuckle echoing in the wake of her anger. 'Jerk! I'm in pain and suddenly he's proud of that.' As memories of the previous night clouded her mind, she struggled to keep herself from stumbling, 'It didn't hurt nearly this much the first time.'

Sango's dry heaving distracted her for a moment. Even though she had no food in her system to expel, Kagome was careful to hold all her hair back while her friend's chest convulsed. Still, the second the nausea had passed, she began moving again. Especially around Miroku, she was determined not to show just how miserable she was. Kagome sighed. "I'm sorry, Sango-chan. We'll be there soon."

"It's okay," she muttered.

Kagome frowned, "You sure you wouldn't rather ride on Kirara?"

"No. I don't want to scare the villagers. They don't know us. If we arrive like that, they might think it's a youkai attack."

She was right. Kagome had to remind herself that not everyone was as welcoming as their own. Even Inuyasha had mentioned that in spite of everything, people in their own village were still a little hostile towards him. They would have to approach others delicately. Who knows? Maybe seeing this group of youkai intermingled with human friends would serve as a catalyst to end their prejudice.

Much like their own village, there were vegetable fields just on the outskirts. Kagome could make out the figures of the village women slowing moving through the wet earth as they tended to their crops. Her smile grew wider. Maybe if Miroku used his 'youkai-infestation' excuse, they could get some free food out of the deal. It would be nice to be treated to a fancy meal right about now.

They passed through the fields without notice. The women were too preoccupied in their work to notice them passing by. It was only when they reached the edge of the town that someone actually looked up at them. The town itself looked practically empty. As they approached, a woman seemingly returning from work in the fields looked up to regard Kagome.

The miko gave the woman her sweetest smile and waved, "Hi there! We were just passing through and were wondering if you have seen…"

Her voice trailed off when she noticed that the woman wasn't looking at her anymore. She was staring far behind her. Kagome didn't look back, but somehow she just knew… she was looking at Inuyasha. Her eyes were wide and filled to the brim with fear. Her breath was raspy, as though she was trying to hold it in. For some reason, this blunt display of fear towards her mate disturbed Kagome far more than logic should let her. She should have expected people to be cautious of him because of their experiences, but with the idea that he was being so openly feared, she had to clench her fists to keep from reacting.

Even so, she wasn't prepared for the loud scream that ensued from the woman. She barely even processed the woman's words as she ran, "The demon! It's the demon! He's returned!"

Kagome couldn't help but glance back at Inuyasha, both in confusion and in worry. She hadn't expected to see him look so downhearted. Normally, this kind of reaction would make him lose his temper, which of course always made matters worse for him. This time, however, he simply looked sad. His face tilted forward; his ears bent down as if he was trying to hide them; the tell-tale lowering of his neck into his shoulders. She didn't dwell on it. Her anger at seeing her mate's sadness was enough anger for the both of them. She ran after the woman, determined to calm her down before she could conjure up any more drama.

Unfortunately, it seemed that the woman's cry for help had been answered. Out of nowhere, countless villagers seemed to come down upon them, as though they had been waiting to ambush them. It _was _as though they had been expected. While the majority of them carried everyday tools like pitchforks and hoes, some of them were brandishing actual spears and swords. They surrounded Inuyasha, Shippou, Sango, and Miroku instantly. Shippou's frightened yelp caught Kagome's attention. She stopped followed the woman and turned back to see every villager pointing their weapons and tools in Inuyasha's direction. As could be expected, Sango and Miroku were quick to the defense. Standing in front of Inuyasha, they held up their own weapons in warning. They wouldn't kill anyone, but they certainly would hurt them if they threatened Inuyasha. The hanyou looked mildly shocked, but not nearly as bothered as he should have looked in Kagome's opinion. He seemed to be doing everything he could to look non-threatening. He even tried to hide his claws in the folds of his clothes. She hated seeing him look like that, like he had to hide himself in shame, but at least he wasn't reacting with violence. Thank God for that.

"Are you not yet satisfied in your pursuit for blood?!" A man bellowed menacingly, "Nearly half our people slaughtered, and you come back for more? Did you really think you'd get away with it a second time?"

Inuyasha's ears perked up in surprise, but he didn't utter a sound. Miroku beat him to it, "What is the meaning of this? We mean you no harm."

"You would be an accomplice to this monster, hoshi?" He shouted, brandishing his blade in his direction, "A man of the Gods, are you?"

"Inuyasha is not a monster," the monk responded calmly.

"How else do you refer to that murderous thing! He killed half of our village!"

Sango and Miroku made a quick glance at each other, and Kagome knew exactly what they were thinking, 'Kokuei…'

"You are mistaken. We have never been to this village…" Sango began.

"Your lies will do nothing," another man called out.

In that instant, the crowds moved in closer. Kagome reacted immediately. She ran towards her surrounded friends, determined to help even if she put herself in danger. Apparently, she hadn't even been noticed until she shouted out, "No! Leave them alone!"

Before she could make it ten steps, about a fourth of the crowd turned their attention on her. Unlike the others, she had no weapons or anything to fear, so these men didn't hesitate for a moment nor did they distance themselves like with the others. They reached out and grabbed her by the arms and the hair. She cried out.

Unfortunately, this was not the right thing to do. Kagome's heart slowed dangerously as they saw Inuyasha's body tense. Even through the distance between them, she could see anger light up in his eyes, his mouth turn into a slow scowl. She knew what was coming and wished to God she could stop it. As one of her captures jabbed her neck lightly with the end of their dagger, Inuyasha's face contorted, a loud growl sending shivers through the villagers. In a second, the hanyou was airborne. Kagome screamed as Inuyasha began knocking over the villagers, who in turn screamed and ascended on the five of them like a riot. Kirara's roar as she transformed caused even more panic. The villagers bombarded them.

Kagome, who was without defense, felt as though she was drowning in a sea of people. Figures rushed by her too fast for her to make out. The sounds of clanging metal and the whistle of the Hiraikotsu rang in her ears. All the while, the men did not let up on her. In their panic, she was forced to the ground by her hair. She gasped for air as the ground shook her lungs. Half-believing that she had been stabbed, it took her a moment to realize that there was no pain except on her scalp.

She watched in terrified stillness as Inuyasha slashed at the villagers. Even knowing that he would never willingly hurt humans, his instincts to protect were driving him. Though he did not claw at them mindlessly, he did do some damage. Some blood was drawn, but mostly it was the weapons that were destroyed.

In a few seconds, Inuyasha descended on her captures. Every one of them fled out of fear, but Inuyasha didn't pay them any mind. He scooped Kagome into his arms and leapt out of the way as the arrows began to wisp past them.

As they jumped from house to house, Kagome clutched onto his clothing tightly, burying her face into his chest and praying that this could end. Her head spun as Inuyasha changed directions every second or two. The angry yells and the roar of weapons were deafening.

"Hurry up! Let's get out of here!" Inuyasha shouted.

Kagome dared a peek to see that Sango and Miroku were successfully fighting off the blows. They quickly boarded Kirara along with Shippou and took off into the air. Inuyasha flew just as fast as Kirara even with Kagome in his arms. Kagome breathed a sigh of relief as the sounds of the angry villagers became smaller and smaller.

In about a minute, they reached the edge of a forest and began making their way through. Very soon, the villagers would have no choice but to give up their chase. Inuyasha growled, "Damnit! Should have known something like this would happen!"

"Kokuei… He's been here," Kagome mused, "He killed them."

"And as far as they can tell, I'm the one who did it," Inuyasha replied, "Shit!"

"What do we do?" Kagome asked as they came to a stop on a tree branch.

He sighed in frustration, "I don't know. Who knows how many villages he's been to?"

Kirara hovered beside them, and Miroku commented, "For all we know, Kokuei might have placed the whole countryside against you."

"Damnit!" Inuyasha said again, "How are we supposed to look for him if I can't be seen?"

"We'll have to travel through the forests, or during the nighttime. If we come across any humans, we'll be the ones to ask questions." Sango said.

Kagome winced as she saw Inuyasha's expression, and she understood. Inuyasha hated to hide away because it made him feel weak. Sure, he could take down any human, but it seemed so pathetic to him to have to avoid the ones who were pursuing him. She snuggled closer into him, calming him.

Miroku spoke up, "We should keep going, find a safe place to stop for awhile while we think this through."

Inuyasha looked hesitant, but he nodded, and they took off into the air once again.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Close to sunset, they had settled in a very secluded part of the forest. It was tucked so far away into the trees that they couldn't see the sky. Only their small fire gave off light when the sun was fully set.

They had decided that it really was best for Inuyasha to remain low-key while they were on the move. So far as they knew, Kokuei could have targeted other villages, and no way of knowing which ones. Unless they wanted another incident with terrified humans, they would have to keep Inuyasha's identity as discreet as possible. This meant that Inuyasha, Shippou, and Kirara would have to remain hidden while Sango, Miroku, or Kagome questioned people. If anyone fit Inuyasha's description, at least they would know they were heading in the right direction.

Inuyasha was none too pleased about this arrangement. As much as he understood the logic behind it, he had given up on hiding who he was long ago. He was the strongest one out of all of them, so how fair was it that he should be the one to hide away and do nothing while the others took action? It would be like having a human night throughout the entire trip.

The hanyou grimaced as he looked at his sharp claws. Had Sango not gotten ill, they would have left just after his human night. They lost a week tending to her. This meant they had three weeks until the next new moon. When they found Kokuei, would it be close to three weeks from now? Could they expect to find him while Inuyasha was human?

The behavior of the villagers was really nothing new to him. He had seen it and experienced it his whole life. It was just that his time with Kagome and his friends had numbed him to the effects for so long. No longer was he the kind of man that hated himself for what he was. There was too much for him to be thankful for to be scornful of his own life. However, he never expected the world to just accept him with open arms. It would be foolish to think that people could change their minds about someone so easily, someone who they had feared and hunted their entire lives. The harshness of it all still burned him. There was so much he wanted to give Kagome, but as long as they were here, he could never give her the complete respect of others. He realized now that even if he did marry her, even if everyone loved her as much as she deserved, he couldn't hope for the same. He would always be something that people feared, something that people just didn't understand.

"Are you okay?" Kagome's soft voice rung in his ears.

He sighed but didn't look back at her. The group had set up a campsite just under the shade of a large tree. He sat on a low branch as a look-out post, just incase the villagers showed up. Even if they had traveled far since then, he wasn't willing to take any risks and have them attack while they slept.

Kagome stared up at him with sadness, "I'm so sorry, Inuyasha."

"Don't be," he insisted, "It don't got nothing to do with you."

"I know, but… it just makes me so angry, what they do to you."

"What do you expect? Kokuei looks just like me, remember? If he killed their people, of course they would come after me."

"Yeah, I know," she sighed, "It's just… People are so blinded by fear. I'll never understand why people are so quick to fear you."

He sighed as well, staring at his claws. Moonlight filtered through the branches, reflecting off his claws, and they looked more threatening than ever before. Still, Kagome understood his pain. She may not really know his pain, but she understood it, and as long as he had her support, it was enough.

He dropped down beside her just as he caught sight of her putting something into her mouth. A small plastic box was in her hand. She reached for her backpack to put it away. "What's that?" Inuyasha asked.

She blushed for a moment, and then realized that after their cover was blown with her mother, there wasn't really anything to hide. "It's the birth control."

Before she could zip up the bag, he reached into it and withdrew the small pill container. In spite of it all, she couldn't help but smile at his curiosity, and his complete obliviousness with the knowledge and technology that she often took for granted. He examined the box first before opening it, sniffing it, and then wrinkling his nose at the residue left over in the opened reservoirs.

After about a minute, he asked her, "What do the different colors mean?"

She knew he must be referring to the last week. "The last row is optional, but I'm supposed to take them at least every couple of months."

"Optional?"

"Yeah. It's… um… meant to let the body do what it does naturally for a little while. To be healthy."

It took a few long seconds for the clues to connect in his head, and he blushed, "Oh! Oh, I get it."

He handed back the pills to Kagome. She put them away and pulled out her hairbrush. She didn't notice that Inuyasha continued to stare at her. He didn't know when he started to realize it, but she looked especially serene when she was tired. Lazy, gentle, and at peace. Though there was nothing like her fiery spirit, whenever she would wind down at night, her calm touched his heart.

His mind was still set on the function of those pills she took. He knew that in his own era, women had some methods to keep from getting pregnant. A few seemed to work a little bit, but more often than not, women kept on getting pregnant regardless. He didn't really understand how pregnancy worked. Only that if they were together intimately, sometimes a pup would grow inside her.

He thought of what it would be like to have a child with Kagome. In the glow of the moonlight, he could imagine her now, glowing with the radiance of pregnancy that women often experienced. The vision of her with an extended belly, swollen with the growth of his pup, made his heart swell. He imagined her growing bigger and bigger every day, more and more beautiful to him. And he imagined what their pup might look like. Beautiful like Kagome? Or powerful like himself? Maybe a mix of both…

A sudden thought occurred to him. It wasn't quite dread, but it wasn't really a happy thought either. He could not manage to keep it to himself. "Kagome?"

"Hm?"

His throat was dry, "It… It isn't forever, right?"

She stopped brushing her hair, "What isn't?"

"The pills," He stumbled over his words for a moment, "They aren't permanent or anything, right?"

Kagome's breath caught in her throat. The question that had burned her thoughts for days came to the surface of her mind once again. But now, could she bear to bring it up? She wasn't ready for him to tell her that he never wanted children.

Inuyasha saw her unease, "Kagome?"

"Inuyasha," she murmured immediately afterwards, her head bowed, "No… They aren't permanent… If I stop taking them, I could still…" She tapered off.

He blinked at her stance and shifted uncomfortably. Something was lurking in the back of his mind, something he wanted to voice to her but he wasn't sure if he could. He didn't even know how. He wouldn't request anything of her if it was something she didn't want in her heart. Her ways were strange, but if he had her, he had to believe that would be enough. It _was_ enough, so long as she was happy.

Kagome took a deep breath and shut her eyes tight, "Inuyasha… Do you… Would you ever want children? Not now… but someday?"

Her question shocked him, but he pressed gently, "You mean pups, right?"

His use of the word was rather odd, but she didn't care enough to comment on that. "Yeah."

Her answer was so solemn, it seemed like she dreaded his answer. He couldn't imagine why. "Do you?"

Kagome gave a little aggravated sigh, "I asked you first."

Inuyasha sighed, and he understood. "I've thought about it," he said passively.

She looked up cautiously. "Really?"

"A little," he winced when the glow in her eyes diminished, "Okay, so I've thought about it a lot…"

When he didn't continue, she started to get frustrated. "And?"

He looked away from her, but he gave a small smile, "Yeah… Yeah I would." Her gasp was soft but beautiful. Her hand fluttered to her lips as though she was going to hold in a cry. "That's okay, right?"

Kagome smiled. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. When she scooted closer to him, he didn't move away. She settled against him and wrapped his arms around her, demanding that he hold her. "You know I would have been happy no matter what, but yes. It's more than okay."

Inuyasha smiled as he brushed her neck lightly with his nose. A sudden idea came to him and his smile widened, his voice darkened, "Shall we get started then?"

"What?" She breathed as he began kissing her neck.

"Making pups," he murmured as his arms tightened around her.

She groaned, trying to keep herself in check so that we wouldn't wake the others. "It's too soon for that… And besides, I'm on the pill, remember?"

"Then we'll need some practice." He chuckled as he scooped her up against him.

Kagome giggled as he carried her away into the darkness of the woods.

To be continued…

**I hate writing action scenes so much. I'm much more comfortable with the mushy stuff. There's just not enough room for fluff amidst weaponry and blood. Sigh… Well, it took me a month, so I hope it was still worth the wait. As always, comments are welcome and dearly appreciated. Finals next week! Aaaaaah! **

**(hugs)**


	45. Ch 45: A Far Better Life

Chapter 45: A Far Better Life

"Stay hidden. Even if it's just a passerby, don't let anyone see you."

"And what if something goes wrong?"

"We'll call out for you. Just don't get too close to where we are. You should be able to hear us anyway, with your ears."

"Kuso… I hate this."

"I know. We'll try to be fast."

Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Kirara, and Kagome emerged from the darkness of the forest. The next village was just up ahead. They smiled when they realized just how small it was. It wouldn't take long to get answers, and if anything went wrong, it would be easy to make an escape. Kagome hoisted her backpack on and started to follow as the others led the way. Before she could take a step, Inuyasha's hand shot out to grab hers. When she glanced back at him, he gave her a chaste kiss and a stern look. "You'd better be careful."

"Don't worry. I will be," she insisted.

"Don't lose sight of the others, even for a second." As he talked, Kagome smoothed over his cheek tenderly, "As soon as you see me, sit me right away."

Her response was another innocent, but full kiss, meant to calm his nerves. "Never thought I'd see the day to hear you say that… I'll remember."

As she wandered ahead to catch up with the others, she glanced back to see Inuyasha disappear behind the foliage. She sighed at the look on his face. She knew it was hard for him to just sit back and wait while everyone walked off into potential danger, especially her. The realization that Kokuei was trying to sabotage their search made that fear of his even more potent. She couldn't deny that it worried her too. As long as Inuyasha remained out of sight, though, they should be okay until they found the enemy.

Sango saw how troubled Kagome was. "Don't worry, Kagome-chan. We'll be out of here in no time."

"Yea, but who knows how many villages we'll need to talk to in order to find him."

They approached the village within minutes. An old man tending his crops with a hoe looked up to greet them. Kagome noticed that he did not cringe at the sight of Shippou and Kirara, the so-called cute and helpless youkai. Even if that realization should have made her happy, it left a bitter taste in her mouth. Had they laid eyes on the "horrifying" Inuyasha instead, they might run screaming. If Kirara transformed, they might not think she was so cuddly afterall. If they knew all the tricks Shippou had pulled with his kitsune magic, they would certainly fear what he might do to them. They were all so ignorant.

Even so, as they approached, he had a look of caution on his face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come, replaced by a kind smile.

"Greetings, travelers!" The man exclaimed, "What brings you to our small village? I'm afraid we don't have any over-night accommodations for visitors."

Miroku held up a hand in greeting. "That won't be necessary."

"Then how may I be of assistance?"

"We're on a sort of quest," Miroku responded, "We're hunting down a certain youkai that's been causing a lot of trouble around these parts."

The old man scratched his head in thought, "Troublesome youkai, huh? There's a lot of those wandering about these days."

"Well, this one is especially dangerous. He isn't really a youkai, but rather a hanyou as you can tell by his ears. A dog hanyou, to be precise. He has long white hair and sharp claws. When angered, his eyes turn red. Have you seen anything along these lines?"

The old man's eyes flickered in recognition, and Kagome sighed, happy that they appeared to be getting somewhere. Immediately after, the old man's face softened again and he motioned them to the hut a few houses away. "Please follow me this way. This will take a while to explain and I don't have the back to stand any longer."

Kagome made a face. She didn't know what else they needed to know other than that Kokuei had been here and which direction he had run off. But on second thought, she supposed that if the villagers could provide them with any extra information, it might help them in battle once they found him.

They entered in a thickly built up. Kagome momentarily wondered if Inuyasha would be able to hear them if something went wrong, but it appeared that the man was harmless. As long as the others were near, she was sure they all would be safe. The man sat down in one of the corners opposite the door and invited the others to sit around the fireplace. His withered hand reached out for the steamed pot of tea, which Sango gladly helped him with. He poured himself and all the humans a cup. Kagome begrudgingly refused to have it and offered it to the neglected Shippou in her lap. The old man made a face at this but said nothing of the matter.

Once they had all settled, he began. "This hanyou you speak of… It was about ten days ago that he went through here. He came out of the forest and without warning, began slaughtering every man, woman, and child he could touch. His eyes were deep red, as you say. It looked as though he couldn't even see straight."

Kagome cringed as she remembered what Inuyasha looked like when his youkai blood took over. As much as she loved him, even that long ago, it had terrified her. She couldn't imagine what he would be like to be on the receiving end of those claws.

"We tried our best to at least ward him off, but our village is so small, we didn't have near enough man-power to deter him. We had 50 citizens…" His face darkened, "6 have survived. Myself, my wife, three men, and one woman… All of our children have perished."

As much as they told themselves before not to react this way, Sango and Kagome couldn't help but shed tears at the thought. Miroku rubbed his wife's back in comfort, and looked to the old man, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

The old man shook his head, "T'is no fault of yours, though I do wish you had been here ten days ago. I must ask what you plan to do to defeat him. You are three humans, and even more than that, a mere monk, female exterminator, and…" Upon glancing at Kagome's attire, it was clear he wasn't sure how to regard her. He turned his gaze on the little ones, "And you carry with you two rather tiny youkai. If you'll forgive me, I don't think you'll be able to do much damage against that monster."

Miroku sighed, "As bleak as it looks, we've actually handled worse."

"Really, hoshi-sama? Have you had the blood sucked out of you?" He remarked pointedly.

They all blinked. "What? Sucked out?"

The old man relaxed again, his face filled to the brim with sorrow. "It was like nothing I've ever seen before. Although the beast loved to use his claws, he also carried a massive sword upon his person. It didn't look like it would even fit in that tiny sheath, but when the sword was removed it was nearly as tall as the youkai himself, and unusually thick for its type. A lethal blow from the sword was bad enough, but it did more than just kill the victim."

Sango narrowed her eyes, "What worse could a sword possibly do?"

"It slowly and painfully sucked out the victim's blood. We hadn't realized at the time why the victims continued to writhe long after they had been struck, or even dead. Only afterwards, when we looked at the bodies did we see that the blood had been completely removed from them. What's more, without even penetrating the skin, the beast had some kind of dark magic to suck the blood out of the person's body even from a distance. He would thrust his sword into the ground, and red strips of light would dart out towards the people he aimed for. The red light would wrap around them almost like a snake and when it let go, the people would be dead and completely drained of blood."

"God…" Kagome murmured in disgust and amazement.

"He said few words during this whole ordeal, but he called the sword Chisaiga."

"Blade of Blood," Sango mused, and then grimaced, "Barbaric…"

"Why would he do this?" Kagome asked.

Miroku spoke up, "Although I can't be positive it's what he's going for, there are many who believe that blood has a power of its own. Perhaps he is harnessing the power of blood to strengthen himself."

Kagome had remembered learning about such beliefs, such as with the Aztecs and the Mayans and certain tribes of Africa. It was possible that the belief in the power of human blood was worldwide, if Miroku had heard of it, but never had she heard of someone taking blood as a weapon. "And what could blood do to strengthen him?"

"The theory is that since blood is the life force of the body, upon ingesting it or absorbing it, the taker will also receive the strength of the victim's soul." Miroku sighed, "However, I have only heard of this happening to gain spiritual strength, not physical. I might be mistaken."

"No, I too believe that he is taking the blood of our villagers to strengthen himself physically. I don't know how he could possibly become any stronger than he is now, but perhaps he knows you are coming after him… Perhaps there is hope after all, if he fears you so." The old man said.

Sango jumped back in, "Do you know which direction he took?"

"We were all trying to hide, so I can't say for sure, but I believe he was spotted going east from here, towards the next big village."

Miroku stood to his feet, motioning for the others to follow. "You've been of great help. Rest assured, we will track down this monster and do away with him immediately, and avenge your people."

"I wish you luck, and I thank you," the old man replied and he waved them off. "Farewell."

They were careful to be quiet as they spoke amongst each other, not being sure how good the man's hearing was. "So Kokuei has a form of Tetsusaiga as well."

"Even worse than that," Miroku replied, "It appears this Chisaiga has been gifted with other abilities as well."

"Well at least we know what to expect now," Sango replied, "Let's get back to Inuyasha. He's probably going crazy with worry. Besides, I'm quite hungry."

As they walked back towards where they had left Inuyasha, Kagome looked back on the village once more. Fifty people and only six sirvivors? They had to be the strongest they could be, because otherwise they didn't stand a chance either.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

When Inuyasha finally caught sight of his comrades coming through the woods, he let out a huge sigh of relief and jumped down from the trees to greet them. They all gave a loud yell in surprise. Inuyasha took a moment to give Kagome a knowing look, and then she smiled, "Osuwari."

"GAH!" Inuyasha exclaimed as his head hit the earth.

The others gave a sigh of relief. Kagome bent down to smooth over his hair, "Sorry…"

"Keh! Didn't even hurt!" Inuyasha said in a tight voice, which of course was a huge lie.

Once Kagome got him to his feet, they filled him in on the conversation with the old man. Naturally, Inuyasha was shocked to hear that Kokuei had a 'Tetsusaiga' of his very own.

'Damnit… That sword is my birthright. A gift from my father. He has no right to take that from me too.'

Kagome, seeming to understand what was going through his head, but her hand on his arm and squeezed, "But we won't know yet what the Chisaiga is really like until we see it in action. It could be that Tetsusaiga is more powerful after all."

Shippou interrupted with a tug on Kagome's skirt. "Kagome… Can I have some ninja food, please?"

His eyes were so wide and innocent. This time, when Kagome smiled, it was sad. "Sure, Shippou-chan."

She opened her bag and pulled out some pocky for him. He instantly ran back to their little campsite in the distance with Kirara trailing behind him. Kagome watched him go with a loud sigh.

"Hey," Inuyasha spoke up, "What's wrong with you?"

She shook her head and put on a fake smile, "Nothing."

Inuyasha looked to the others, but they looked just as uncomfortable as she did. He tilted his head, signaling them to go back to the camp. He held Kagome back and took hold of her arms. "You don't look like that for nothing. Did something else happen?"

She sighed, "No, not really. Not anything I shouldn't have been expecting anyway."

When she didn't say more, Inuyasha grew a little frustrated. "Out with it, already."

Giving in, she turned her face back to the retreating kitsune and neko. "As adorable as they are, this is the first time I've realized just how much people might fear them when they're older."

"What? You mean the runt and Kirara?"

"Yea… I don't know. It just seems ridiculous to me."

"What happened?" He asked.

She shook her head lightly, "It was just the old man we talked to. He was friendly enough, but he was clearly uncomfortable around those two… but it wasn't really that. He didn't really fear them, nor like some seem to fear you. I just keep thinking that when Shippou-chan grows up, he'll be an outcast too."

Inuyasha was silent, pensive.

She wrapped her arms around his waist. "I know how hard life was for you. I just don't want things to be the same for him."

He returned her embrace. "I know… Look, he has us. He won't be alone like I was. Maybe it will all be different for him."

She rubbed her cheek against the rough fabric of his haori, course and yet somehow comforting. "I hope so."

He pulled away. "Come on, we'd better get back to the others."

He started to walk off, but she suddenly stopped him. "Wait…"

He looked back at her, and something about the light in her eyes made his stomach turn in the most pleasurable ways. "What is it, wench?" He asked, hoping he didn't sound too strange.

"Let's not go back yet," she eyes narrowed seductively, "How often do I get to have you all to myself?"

His ears twitched, catching her interest. He pulled her closer to him again and pressed a light kiss just below her ear, testing the waters, "What did you have in mind?"

"There's a hot spring nearby."

He sighed a deep sigh and shook his head in dismay. "Damnit… Always, you and baths."

She pulled his arm, leading him towards the spring he could probably smell for himself anyway, "Yeah, but this time you'll get to be with me."

Inuyasha followed a little conflicted. On the one hand, he loathed baths. As far as he was concerned, hygiene was only useful if you wanted to impress someone. It wasn't worth being vulnerable, or getting wet, or having cold hair for hours afterwards. On the other hand, what chance could he possibly give up to see his mate naked again, especially if it led to a little more intimacy?

She giggled to herself when she realized he had given in. Men really were easy to convince.

They arrived at the hot spring a few minutes later. It was a beautiful spot somewhat reminiscent of the hot spring by the cave where they had become mates. The waterfall was smaller, but it threw rainbows in the mist. The beginning hues of twilight were still making their way through the looming trees. The water sparkled. The light was enough that Kagome could see the bottom of the pool.

"I'll go over there and get undressed."

Inuyasha's ears twitched again, outraged that he would not be given the task. "It's not like there isn't anything I haven't seen before, wench."

She blushed. In the twilight, it was truly something to see. "I'm not being a tease, Inuyasha. Just get in already. I'll be there in a minute."

Inuyasha scoffed a little and let her wander off behind the rock. 'Not being a tease? Keh! She's the biggest tease of them all. Damn wench! She's just trying to torture me."

Inuyasha took off his haori and gi, but paused to look back in Kagome's direction before he stripped of his hakama and got into the pool. Even if they had been intimate with each other many times, he still wasn't comfortable with the idea of her eyeing him. Lord knows it wouldn't do any good for his physical control either.

When she emerged from behind the rock, hands carrying the haircare supplies and wearing nothing but a towel… on her wrist… Inuyasha's breath caught in his throat. The afterglow of twilight brought a warm hue to her skin. She looked extra soft, more angelic than usual. And beneath all that, something about her called to a newly discovered place in his heart. He didn't understand what it was or where it had come from, but she took on a different kind of beauty in that moment. She seemed to be glowing, happy, enticing. For a brief moment, his heart was giving way to something more, something pure, something spectacular and yet still to come. He whispered, "What are you trying to do to me?"

She didn't really hear him. It only sounded like murmurs. He wished to know how she had managed to erupt in beauty under his very nose. As beautiful as she was before, it paled to how she looked to him now. She caught his eyes, her eyes twinkling, and he gulped hard. He knew she would be his undoing if he didn't get a better hold of himself, but he just couldn't find a good enough reason to break his gaze with her. She stepped into the waters and into a shadow, cutting Inuyasha off from his confusing stupor. He would learn of her secrets later. Inuyasha closed his eyes as the sound of water flowing apart with her movements awakened a more familiar passion in him. When he opened his eyes again, his gaze was hungry for her and her alone.

"It's rude to stare," Kagome said as she dipped her hair into the water.

In doing so, her upper torso rose from the water, giving him an all too pleasant view. "Keh! Like you don't want me to, wench."

She giggled, the tone of it giving away the seductiveness. She put the shampoo in her hair and rinsed it out, and then turned to him. "Come on," she said, "I want to wash your hair."

"Keh!" He said, turning his head away.

"Please…" She pressed.

He gave up rather easily and let her move up to him. Their bodies didn't touch but they didn't have to for Inuyasha to start feeling the affects of her closeness. As she washed his hair, her gaze became solemn again, and as she rinsed out the bubbles, he caught her arm and looked at her sternly. "What is it, now?"

She sighed, and wrapped her finger around a strand of his hair. "I just don't understand how people could be so afraid of you. You're nothing like they think you are."

"Kagome…" He implored, "What can you expect? When someone looking like me kills everyone in a village, what else can they think?"

"It's not just them. It's everyone. Everyone who you've ever had to run away from. I just… can't stand it."

"Kagome…" he said, suddenly hugging her to him. The feel of skin on skin brought a gasp from both of them but also a sense of peace. "It's alright."

"How can it be alright? You're… You're everything to me. How can I make people see you the way I do?"

"You can't, Kagome. It just isn't possible."

"But why not?" Her voice seemed strained down, and he could tell she was about to cry.

He held her closer still and whispered in her ear, "I have a far better life now than most of them could ever hope for, and it's enough for me."

"You really… think so."

"I know so." He pulled back and kissed her unexpectedly. The kiss was rough and yet gentle. He pulled on every emotion he could find in her. Forced her to understand that as far as he was concerned, everything was perfect. Purposefully distracting her from the emotional trials of the day, he ran his hands over her back, a little touch from his claws bringing out a shiver. He smiled, "Or at least it will be once we're done here."

She giggled but bit her lip, "They'll be wondering where we are."

He supported her head in his hands, the look in his eyes melting her reserve. "Not even the monk would be that stupid."

He kissed her again and enveloped her in his arms, this time resigning himself to not let go of her.

To be continued…

**I really didn't want to end it here, but I just realized it's been two months since my last update. Waaaay too long! Basically, on top of finishing up my senior year of college, I'm selling my soul in an attempt to return to Spain for grad school. Wish me luck on that one. I'll sure as hell need it. Anyways, hopefully I'll be able to squeeze in a little more time for updates starting next year. We'll see… Take care everyone! **


	46. Ch 46: Captured

Chapter 46:

Chapter 46: Captured

She dozed against his chest, her body loosely wrapped in his haori. The sun was just beginning to set now. With his arms still around her, he ran his hand down the collar of the haori and down her warm back.

Inuyasha didn't sleep. He was too enthralled by the feel of her to go to sleep. After they had made love, Kagome had gotten sleepy and started to nod off, which of course made Inuyasha very proud of himself. However, he knew she wasn't really sleeping. She didn't really smile in her sleep.

Every time she sighed it seemed to fill his entire being. He couldn't believe that he would be lying next to _this_ everyday for the rest of his life. Just a few years ago, he had believed he would die alone. Now, he was going to look forward to life.

He couldn't wait till this whole business with Kokuei was over. It would be so nice to be able to breathe easy. The idea of not fighting for survival seemed odd to him, but it was also refreshing. He knew that life with Kagome would never be boring. He wouldn't need a fight to keep being grateful for what he had. His mind kept wandering to the future. He knew now that she wanted kids. Question was, when would they start? He knew he wasn't much of the parenting type, but perhaps he could give it a shot pretty soon. Would they raise them here or in Kagome's era, which was more troublesome and yet could be more advantageous.

She sighed again, and he smiled. "Kagome…" He whispered to her.

She didn't answer. He shook her lightly. "Come on, I know you're awake."

He was answered with a groan of severe disapproval, but he laughed. That got her attention. It was always so rare when he laughed, she had to open her eyes to make sure it was really him. She smirked, "And how do I know that's you, Inuyasha?"

His smile dropped off. "Huh? Of course it's me."

She shook her head teasingly, "I can't be sure of that. You might have taken me away while I slept."

"Keh! You weren't sleeping, wench. And if you were, you would have heard a fight anyway. No way I'd let him take you without a fight."

She wrinkled her nose, but rose up to hover just above his, "Likely story for someone who's trying to fool me… Osuwari."

Given his position, he was pulled backward rather than forward, slamming the back of his head right into the ground. "Damnit, wench!" He groaned, the friction in his head making his voice waver.

She giggled and pushed herself up even higher, lying across his chest. He groaned again as he felt her bare breasts against him. She smiled at him, "Better safe than sorry."

"Yeah, I'm the sorry one. I'm sorry I ever suggested you use that word on me. Should have just tied you to me, instead."

"Or I could have just put you on a leash," she pointed out.

"Oi, wench! I'm not a dog!"

She kissed the tip of his nose, "Close enough."

He returned the kiss, but to her lips. "You're troublesome."

"I hope so," she said, "So what did you want to tell me?"

That brought the smile back to his face. He pulled her loose bangs out of her face. "How many pups do you think we'll have?"

"Kids? Well, how many do you want?"

He brought her closer to him and kissed her cheek sweetly, moving down to her neck, "Ten."

She caught her breath, "Ten! Are you crazy?"

He stopped and looked at her inquisitively. "Why? Not enough?"

Kagome hesitated. It was hard to argue why ten kids was insane. She never thought she'd have to discuss this. "That's way too many! It's completely illogical. We don't even have enough money for one right now. No way we'll ever have enough for ten."

He sighed and shook his head, "We don't need money to have kids, wench. All we need is to do this."

He wrapped his arms around her again and rolled over so that he had her pinned beneath him. He claimed her lips with his, as warm as the ever-fading sun. She stole herself against the feelings he instilled in her, at least for a moment. As he started to kiss her neck again, she smiled to herself, "Well I guess we'll have to live here, then. Where we don't need money."

"Whatever you want," he murmured. He already had other things in mind.

She giggled. Perhaps it was to be expected to have ten children in this day and age. The idea of having so many children seemed insane, but babies did grow up, and being unacquainted with motherhood as of yet, she could imagine herself with a "litter of pups" of sorts. She knew they all would be just as darling as her mate.

He moved in for another kiss, his hands daftly and slowly pulled away the folds of his haori from her body. She shivered as his bare skin touched her chest again, then smiled against his lips. Moments like this truly made her feel like a free spirit, and Inuyasha was the music that made her heart flutter. She couldn't fathom that she would ever stop loving him, for any reason. There was nothing truly bad about him, just a few annoying traits here or there. But she had grown to love every part of him. What mattered most was that in spite of everything he had gone through, in spite of the things that could have destroyed their relationship, he loved her still. She found that she cared less and less that a part of his heart would always belong to Kikyo. It was okay, because he made up for it by proving time and again that Kagome was the most important person in his world. And she could feel how much he loved her. She could feel it in his kiss, his touch, his body, and his courage. The wonder of that thought warmed every inch of her.

As she gave herself fully to his passions, she suddenly found that he was tensing, and that he had stopped kissing her. She didn't think anything of it at first, trying to coax him back into submission with a few tantalizing pecks, but he was stiff as stone.

When she opened her eyes, she was ready to be disgruntled, but she wasn't ready to see a look of pure terror in his eyes. That alone was enough for her to tense as well. But before she could question him, a dark and unfamiliar voice filled her ears, "You didn't think you'd be able to pass on through, did you? Not after what you did."

Kagome gasped, the sound echoing through the forest. Hovering above them were seven youkai exterminators. Their tight clothing and vast array of weapons was evidence enough of that, but they looked far more menacing than Sango ever had. Each had a sword at the ready, one of them with the tip of it jabbed lightly into Inuyasha's neck.

Kagome began to shake. Under other circumstances, she would have been mortified to have been found naked along with Inuyasha, but seeing as these men obvious meant harm to them, all she felt now was sheer panic. Inuyasha was clearly not making any moves to retaliate, which she was silently grateful for. She couldn't imagine how horrific it would be if the man slashed his throat right then and there.

"Put on some pants and get up, you animal." The man commanded, the disgust of their position clear in his voice.

Kagome automatically clutched Inuyasha to her, not at all willing to relinquish him to these men. He was trying to cooperate, but when she held him back, he looked back at her with stern eyes. She stared back at him pleadingly, but she knew inside that if he did not follow orders, it would mean the death of both of them.

He backed off of her slowly, but still took it upon himself to shield her from the men's eyes while she wrapped the haori around her chest again. He carefully reached for his hakama and put them on, the touch of the blade of the sword never once leaving his neck. Once he had them fastened, he waited for further instructions. Kagome lay transfixed and helpless as the men forced her mate to rise to his feet. Her eyes watered as she thought the unthinkable, that they might execute him right here in front of her.

One of the other men turned his attention to her, "You may leave, woman. This problem does not concern you."

The tone was harsher than the words themselves. It was clear that they all thought she was some prostitute the hanyou had lured away to deal with his perverted urges. Oddly enough, they meant to show mercy on her and let her go, but naturally she had no desire to leave Inuyasha behind. She stood up, but she shook her head. "No… please. Let him go, please."

She started to cry, and Inuyasha's ears drooped. He didn't like it when she was made to look pitiful, but he wasn't stupid. He knew that if he made one move or even a sound, they might take him out. If there was one thing Sango had taught him, it was that youkai exterminators trained for the unexpected. Everyday warriors might not be, but these men would definitely be prepared if he suddenly lashed out at them.

She moved closer to him, and the men reacted slightly, but not much. They raised their swords in her direction, but she didn't back down until Inuyasha whispered, "Kagome, no!"

That stopped her. Her eyes pleaded with him, but even she didn't know what he could possibly do. Likewise, Inuyasha's eyes pleaded with her, begging her not to get herself involved in this. The thought made her stomach turn. How could someone threatening her mate's life not require her involvement?

She wanted to touch him. She wanted to take him into her arms again and face the penalty together, or at the very least to kiss him one last time… She didn't even know what they would do with him. But she knew Inuyasha wouldn't want her to move closer, not with such a risk.

His voice was soft as to not shock the exterminators, and tender for Kagome's sake, "It'll be okay, Kagome. Go and find the others. They won't hurt me."

'You don't know that,' she thought as tears covered her face.

Seeing as she was crying even more, he tried a new approach, "Kagome… I need you to find the others. Get help. Sango should be able to negotiate with them."

Kagome's tears quieted, but they didn't stop. He was right. Her tears alone wouldn't sway these men, but maybe the word of a fellow youkai exterminator would. But if she was to be any help to him, she had to find the others now… no matter how much it hurt to leave him behind.

She hesitated still, fighting within herself, but said nothing as she turned and fled back in the direction of their camp. She didn't dare look back. If she looked back, she might never be able to leave him again, or worse, she might witness his assassination. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, struggling through the branches and her blinding tears.

Inuyasha watched her go with a heavy heart. Though they likely would have killed him right away if they intended to, it was at least somewhat possible that they were taking pity of Kagome. That didn't mean they wouldn't kill him as soon as she was out of sight. Just in case, he let his eyes drink his fill of his mate. He would give anything to kiss her own last time, to tell her he loved her.

Once she was out of sight, Inuyasha was forced onto his knees again. He resentfully wondered why they made him stand up in the first place only to make him kneel again. Probably for his humiliation… or perhaps they did intend to do away with him. But he didn't feel a blow. Instead he heard the voice of the lead man, "'Kagome,' you said? Odd… do clients need to know the names of their whores these days?"

His body tensed in anger that anyone would dare refer to Kagome that way, but he knew they were just trying to get a rise out of him. He couldn't afford to act violently anymore, not when he had so much to lose, someone to live for. He clenched his jaw and responded calmly, "She's my mate."

"Ugh," a lighter voice sounded, "How disgusting."

This caught Inuyasha off guard. One of the men was actually a woman, though she was far more masculine in dress than Sango. He tried not to let her hateful words affect him, and instead let a flicker of hope enter his heart. If Sango could relate to this woman as a fellow female in a man's field, maybe there was a way for him to be let go.

The lead man walked in front of Inuyasha, the tip of his sword shifting along with him to the front of Inuyasha's neck. "Put your hands behind your back."

He did as told, and felt a tight shackle being placed around his wrists. "Don't bother trying to get out of those. While they won't kill you easily, you will receive a massive shock to your system. It will eventually kill you if you try hard enough."

"Why are you doing this?" Inuyasha asked, though he wasn't sure why, "Why not just kill me now?"

The other men pulled him to his feet again. The man answered, "We were only informed short-notice that you had reappeared. The right means to do the job are on their way."

"Reappeared?"

"I just admit, I've never met a youkai stupid enough to come back to the village he slaughtered just a few days after."

'Kokuei,' Inuyasha realized, "You don't know what you are talking about."

"Don't I? Your companions were identified accurately by every one of the village's survivors. They informed us immediately that you had come back."

'Damnit. The old man was a snitch!'

They made him walk. "Don't expect to last long. I'm sorry for your… mate… but surely she will find something better shortly. I can only hope she stops consorting with animals."

To be continued…

**Soooo sorry for the delay. It's been a long time. I hope you all are still reading. **


	47. Ch 47: Torture

Ch 47:

Ch 47: Torture

It was only now that he realized he hadn't eaten all day. He was very hungry, but highly doubted his captors would indulge him in food. The growl of his stomach echoed in the dark room they placed him in. There was enough light to see the silhouette of chained crisscrossing his prison. Two of the strongest held his hands up, like some medieval torture mechanism. Would they chain up his legs soon and stretch out his body until he was pulled to pieces?

He tried to focus his thoughts on more positive things, but there was pain in that too. He hoped to God that Kagome was safe, that she had made it back to the others and that they were currently devising a plan to free him. He tried to remember what she looked like when she smiled, but all he could think of were the tears in her eyes when he had last seen her, and he could imagine her in hysterics, not knowing how to help him. The last thing he wanted was for her to suffer, but in loving him it seemed she was meant to suffer. But he was never willing to deny the power of their relationship. He would rather they killed him than give up on her.

"Funny," a cold voice echoed in the darkness, "When the old man told us a monster had destroyed the village, I never expected… a hanyou."

Inuyasha locked his jaw. It was a touchy subject, and this man probably knew it. "What of it?"

He heard the squeak of the jail cell door as it opened, and the exterminator leader stepped out of the complete abyss into a ray of light that shot down from a sliver of a skylight above. "It's troublesome, you know. We might have been able to kill you right away if you were a full youkai. With you being half-human, we'll have to improvise."

Inuyasha tried to manage a cocky smirk, but knew he sounded just a little desperate, "Can't even handle a weak hanyou?"

"Oh, believe me; we'll handle you well enough. Don't think for a minute that you'll be getting off easy. We may not be able to purify you as planned, but by the time we're done with you, you'll be begging us to kill you."

His eyes narrowed, "So it's torture, is it?"

The man smiled cynically, "As much as I would beating you within an inch of your life, no, but I can say it will be far more painful for you and enjoyable for me."

Inuyasha clenched his fists, "You think I've never been tortured before for what I am? There is nothing you can do to me that hasn't been done to me before."

The man laughed, and the cold smirk on his face reminded Inuyasha terribly of Naraku. Even the glow in his eyes seemed to mirror the hunting look of his old worst enemy. The man carried himself like the leader he was. Everything about him screamed leadership, from the clothes he wore to his intimidating posture. Inuyasha didn't doubt for a minute that he had fought without mercy to reach the top of the ranks. Apparently, even being the head of youkai extermination was something to be proud of.

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed at him, bracing himself for whatever the man would say, but he never expected what he did say, "Really? So I suppose you wouldn't mind at all if me and my men had some fun with that little whore of yours."

Before he could stop himself, Inuyasha leapt for the man, a cry of outrage releasing from his throat before he had time to consider that such passion was exactly what the man wanted. He stretched his claws out to reach him, but the chains tightened within a mere 8 inches of his target. A sudden shock that reminded him of lightning shot all the way down to his toes, and his cry of outrage converted quickly to a cry of excruciating pain. He fell back onto the stone floor and writhed in agony as the skin around his wrists began to sizzle like cooked meat over an open flame.

Not since he was a child had he been caged like an animal. Sure, countless had tried, but only once in his childhood had he been put through such horror. He only escaped then because his mother had come to his rescue, but now there was no one to free him with a simple threat of royal retribution. This time, he only had himself, and the dim hope that Sango could reason with them.

Lying on his stomach before this man, he didn't even wait for the pain to die before he charged again. He had no other choice but to believe that if he tried hard enough, he could fight through the pain and break the chains. Then, he wouldn't hesitate from tearing this jackass limb from limb for both attacking him and threatening his mate. Unfortunately, this was not to be. He managed for a few more seconds longer than earlier before he was thrown down again by the burn throughout his body. He lay there panting and sizzling. With a hard cough, he realized that there was a bit of blood in his mouth. Had that last strike ruptured something? He wouldn't dare consider it.

The man squatted down next to him, but just far enough away that Inuyasha wouldn't be able to reach him if he tried. He looked down on him as a master looks at his beaten dog. "Who knew you'd be so easy to manipulate. You just can't stand the thought of us… ravishing your mate."

"Fuck you, bastard!" Inuyasha cried out through his pants.

Inuyasha couldn't see it, but all the man had to do was tighten a hold on one of the chains and Inuyasha's head and arms were forced to lift up. From the position he was now, he looked like a pitiful peasant submiting to a king, but his face was firm and rough with fury. The man came closer to him, his breath rushing in the hanyou's ear, "My name is Ryu, not 'bastard'. Do you have a name, hanyou?"

"I don't owe you a name," Inuyasha hissed, "It doesn't matter what you'll do to me. If you or your men harm Kagome, I will become the monster you believe I am! I will have no mercy on you!"

Ryu chuckled again, making the room colder than it was before, "I'll keep that in mind, but honestly, you have no business making threats, hanyou."

"… Inuyasha da."

He couldn't stand being referred to as 'hanyou' anymore.

"Inuyasha… Hehehe, somewhat fitting, I suppose. Perhaps it would have made more since if they had named you Inuningen…" He suddenly reached out and tweaked one of his ears, "Half dog… half human. Whatever you are called, your kind are an abomination to youkai and humans alike."

Inuyasha tried to jerk out of Ryu's reach, but he clutched the hanyou's silver hair in his hand and kept him from moving. "So… where shall I start with your little whore?" Inuyasha's chest tightened again. "How's this? I'll string her up in front of the entire camp… naked, and one by one, my men will do with her as they please. Naturally, I'll be the first." He tightened the chains again, and Inuyasha groaned as the metal dug into his skin, "She sure is lovely. I'm sure with her legs spread, she'd look even lovelier."

Ryu released his hold and Inuyasha fell face down on the floor again. He didn't even have time to recover before another pain came through. A long whip cracked against his stomach, tearing open his haori and gi. He screamed. Another strike hit him on his upper thigh. A hard blow against his back… a second… a third… a fourth, each time more painful than the last. A fifth strike started at his back and wrapped around the shoulder to his chest. "Perhaps your woman will feel the whips as well, hm?"

Inuyasha couldn't answer. When the blows finally stopped, Inuyasha was wheezing. There was more blood in his mouth. Something was injured and needed time to heal. It even hurt to breathe. He barely heard the cell shut behind Ryu as he exited. "That was just a sample of what you'll be getting later, Inuningen. I'll enjoy watching you beg for your death. But until the right equipment arrives, I'll just have to have some fun with you."

Ryu disappeared, and nothing was left by the shiver of light from the ceiling. It took several minutes for Inuyasha to stop panting, and minutes longer for the pain to subside. He didn't dare move though. He just knew that any motion could jeopardize the healing. Ryu no doubt knew that the scars from the whip would disappear in a day, but the pain would definitely last. The only thing he could do was close his eyes and think of Kagome's laughter rather than the drip of water in the distance, the feeling of her in his arms rather than the current ache in his flesh, the warmth of their lovemaking rather than the cold of this cellar. There was something beautiful. As long as he could remember the joy and thrill of making love to her, nothing could touch him. All Ryu's crude words were was a cheapening of the most pure element of his life, but no words could change that his love for Kagome gave him strength to spare.

'Kagome… be safe.'

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Kagome was cautiously hopeful as she and her friends approached the camp of the youkai exterminators. She was terrified of what condition she might find Inuyasha in, but the determination of her friends beside her gave her a ray of hope. Kirara walked transformed beside Sango, just so that no one could suspect them of hiding any secrets. They wanted to walk in there looking as respectable as possible, or they would never believe that they hadn't taken part in the destruction of the village.

Kagome clutched onto Sango's arm. Despite trying to comfort her, the miko was clearly distraught. Half the time she wasn't even looking where she was going. She was looking all around her, looking for any sign of her mate. He was nowhere to be seen.

In the middle of the campsite was a fire, and from what Sango could tell, the heads of the exterminators were sitting around them. Her steps faltered for a moment, for she realized there was a woman in their midst. In truth, it was rare to find female youkai exterminators, and she herself was the only one she was aware of. Seeing another woman in her profession was a slight relief, but she dreaded that this woman was among those who had captured her friend.

As they approached the group, they stood to regard them, but their eyes were firmly set on Kirara. Ryu spoke up, "You dare bring another youkai into our midst."

Kirara growled, but Sango put a hand to her head and pet her fur. "Kirara is an old family friend. She doesn't harm humans… She helps us fight the evil youkai. As you can probably tell, I'm a youkai exterminator myself."

They each looked over her uniform, which she purposefully wore to get on their good side. The men took their time looking over her form-fitting suit, and Kagome noted how Miroku tightened his hold around his staff and stepped partially in front of his wife. "We've come to negotiate the release of our friend."

The woman smirked and put her hands on her hips, "Your friend has killed an entire village, and you think we should just let him go?"

She could hardly bear it whenever someone refered to her Inuyasha as a murderer, not when she knew the pure kindness and tenderness that was in his heart. Kagome spoke up, moving herself in between Sango and Miroku, "He didn't do it! He wouldn't! You don't understand! There's a demon that…"

"Kyoko was not addressing you, whore!" Ryu shouted as he moved in an intimidating way towards her.

Miroku held Kagome back, and Kagome clutched to his ropes, beginning to cry again. Kyoko laughed, "She's as much of a nutcase as the hanyou."

Miroku pleaded, "Please. We can explain this confusion. Our greatest enemy created a complete replica of Inuyasha. He looks exactly like him, only he is evil."

"You can't be serious," Kyoko responded, "Very well, then. Tell us where this youkai twin is."

"We don't know. This thing is exactly what we're here for. We've been searching for him for a few months now. He's attacked our village and our friends as well."

"And why should we believe you?"

"Because it's true," Kagome cried.

"Is that supposed to convince me?" Kyoko responded simply, "Honestly, crybabies like you are a disgrace to females everywhere."

Sango approached her carefully, "Please forgive her. It's hard for her to be separated from him, especially when she doesn't know what has happened to him…"

Kyoko crossed her arms and appeared to be thinking for a while before she conceded, "Alright… So be it. But I must ask… what's a miko like you doing with a hanyou?"

Kagome let go of Miroku and stepped forward again, "He's my mate," she said simply, "We've known each other for years. He rescued me, he took care of me, of all of us, and it wouldn't be right if I didn't defend him…" Tears rushed to her eyes again, but she fought to hold them back, "I know it's hard to believe, but if there's anything I can do to prove that he's innocent, I will do it."

"Perhaps you should whore yourself out for us instead," said another man by the fire.

"Silence!" Ryu commanded, and he turned his attention back towards Kagome, "Your tears will get you nowhere. You have no evidence to show that he hasn't done what we think he's done. We have eye-witnesses, all of them describing him in perfect detail. We have no reason to suspect that we are wrong."

Miroku stepped in, "Guilty until proven innocent. Pardon me for saying so, but such a mentality is rather backwards."

Kagome stepped in, "This isn't about evidence. You're certain he did it because he's a hanyou! Had he been a human you would have thought twice before assuming that he was guilty!"

Ryu shrugged, "What can I say. I've fought enough youkai to know that they can't be trusted."

"You don't know him… He's a good man. He's protected us and our village for years," Sango said.

"Your village, you say? Funny… I thought I recognized the signs on your uniform… I thought your village died out years ago."

When Sango tensed at the reminder of her slaughtered family, Miroku put a comforting hand to her shoulder, and she relaxed instantly. However, Kagome felt an instant pang of jealousy, and she knew she would never feel right again until she was by Inuyasha's side.

Kagome fell to her knees in front of Ryu and Kyoko, not even caring how disgraceful she looked. She didn't care anymore. She needed to be with Inuyasha.

Kyoko looked shocked at this, for she backed up a few steps, "What are you doing?"

"Please… let me see him. Just for a few minutes, just so I can make sure he's okay," she sobbed, "I don't care what you do with me afterwards, but I have to see him… Please…"

Ryu stepped in, "Save your tears, woman. We won't be swayed by you. Get out of here before we decide to imprison you as well. You've bothered us enough for one day."

He stepped away and moved back towards the fire, and Kagome fell into hysterics once again. She put her head in her hands and cried as Sango rushed to her side, moving her face so that Kagome could bury her sorrows on a friend's shoulder. Shippou, perched on Miroku's shoulder, started to cry as well. Kirara stepped over the two women and growled at the men. Miroku was the only one able to keep his cool. "Very well. We will leave you, but we will be back to reclaim our friend."

Kagome couldn't help but think that he might be dead by then. Sango whispered in her ear, "Don't worry, Kagome-chan. I will reason with them. Everything's going to be all right."

She tried to be optimistic, she really did, but it was Inuyasha's arms she wished to be in, not Sango's. Sango helped her to her feet and escorted her out of the camp, but handed her over to Miroku's care, and walked back towards the men and woman. Kirara tried to follow her, but she shushed her, "Kirara… look after Kagome-chan. I'm not leaving here until they release Inuyasha, and I have to make sure they don't try to kill him in the meantime."

Kirara reluctantly followed her master's orders and followed Miroku and Kagome out of the camp.

Sango took off her Hiraikotsu and her sword, put them on the ground, and approached the firepit once again. "Kyoko-san… I wish to speak with you, alone."

Silence followed, and Sango briefly wondered if she had overstepped her boundaries as an intruder. But within 30 seconds, Kyoko got to her feet again and discarded her weapons. "At ease, boys. I won't be long."

Sango gasped as realization dawned on her.

"Kyoko smirked as she approached her. "What? A woman can't be a leader?"

"But… you… him" she gestured lightly towards Ryu.

She started to walk away, and Sango followed, "A partnership. My father was the village leader, until he died, so by rights I should be the true leader, but they wouldn't allow a woman to lead the clan… so that leaves Ryu as the… technical leader."

Sango glanced back towards Ryu, who was staring at her with fierce, agitated eyes. "Is he a relative of yours?"

Kyoko laughed at this, "I should hope not… No… He's my husband."

Sango blinked, "Your husband…?"

Kyoko sighed, "We never were the average couple, but I suppose our situation doesn't usually entail being married."

Sango in turn, sighed, "I know the feeling."

Kyoko's smile this time was actually warm, as though she had become a completely different woman, "The monk… He's your husband, isn't he?" Sango nodded. "So what's a female youkai exterminator doing with a monk, two youkai, a hanyou and his mate?"

"Inuyasha… was already with the others when they found me. I was trying to kill him, because I thought he had killed my family, but it was another hanyou named Naraku, who tricked me into believing it was Inuyasha."

"Naraku… I've heard of that one. The youkai have gotten more frequent in the area since he came along."

"Evil demons followed him everywhere, but luckily, we defeated him some time ago… You know, it wasn't just once that someone was tricked into believing that Inuyasha had done something wrong… And every time, he's been innocent."

"Why should I believe you? If you're his friend, you've no doubt been brainwashed by him."

Sango sighed and shook her head, "I like to think myself a better youkai exterminator than that. There are mind tricks, there are spells… but Inuyasha has never made an attempt to alter my free will. I follow him, along with the others, because he has proven time and again that his heart is bigger than most humans."

Kyoko stood up and took a few steps forward, and Sango was almost certain that this meant the conversation was over, until she stopped once again to lean against a tree. She was looking off towards the direction where Kagome and the others had gone off. "I've lost too many people… too many friends, too many family members, too many soldiers… You'll have to excuse me if I'm not convinced that one hanyou who has been positively identified by countless people is somehow innocent."

"Is it at least possible that you've killed an innocent youkai?" When she saw Kyoko tense in defense, she decided to take an easier approach, "I know I think about it everyday. Who knows if I haven't been guilty of murder from the very beginning? I, like you, believed that at least most youkai were evil, even with Kirara at my side. Perhaps I didn't think they were all evil, but I felt like they have to prove me wrong before I could trust them… I understand it's not easy to believe, but if you give us even a little bit of time, we will find Kokuei and you will know who has been doing all this."

"You really think I'll just give you a chance to get away?"

"Come with us, then. You can see for yourselves!"

"We don't go on wide goose chases!" Kyoko said firmly.

"You only think it because you do not know!"

Sango caught herself before she continued on. The last thing we wanted was for Kyoko to feel like she was being pressured. Any decision made ultimately had to be made by her.

It was quiet afterwards, for about 10 seconds, before Kyoko responded, "I'm going back to my camp…"

Sango tried to speak again, hoping to apologize, but Kyoko interrupted, "I will keep the hanyou alive for a few more days. The technology needed to do away with him won't arrive for two days as it is. I can manage 4 days, but after that, we will have to execute him. You have until then to prove to me that your hanyou is innocent."

And with that, Kyoko walked towards the camp fire and her figure disappeared into shadow before the flames.

To be continued…

**OOOOOH man it's been forever! I applied to grad school in Spain, so I've been getting a lot of paperwork together and applying for student visas and passports and residence permits etc etc. Happily I got into the Universidad Autonoma de Barcelona… so I'll be off in little less than a month. **

**I'm so so soooo sorry for the delay, but thanks to all those that are still reading. I expect to update again very soon, since I don't have much else to do since my visa will be finalized in a week. **

**Again, thank you all for your patience!**

**(hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs)**


	48. Ch 48: Pity

Ch 48: Pity

Kagome didn´t bother to hide the sounds of crunching leaves under her feet as she approached the exterminator campsite once again. Better to have them know of her presence at all times, if she had any hope of convincing them to let her mate go. Kirara was dozing on her shoulder. Although she had waited for everyone else to fall asleep so that she could sneak back, she knew that Inuyasha would be upset with her if she went anywhere by herself. The least she could do was bring Kirara there with her and then send her back when she was at the campsite. Kagome knew she would not be going back again without Inuyasha at her side.

She put Kirara on her feet, the neko a little annoyed that she now had to make her own way back to the others. Still, she cast a dubious look at the group of exterminators just beyond the edge of the trees. "It´s alright. I´ll be fine," Kagome said, "Head back to the others. I can see them tomorrow."

The little youkai disappeared into the woods, and Kagome stepped out into the clearing. Odd, that while she wasn´t around her friends, she could still be safe with these enemies. If Kokuei were to attack now, these people were maybe best suited to fight him. A part of her was actually, shockingly, hoping that he would make an appearance, just so Inuyasha´s innocence could be proven. It frightened her too much, to think of him locked away. She wanted him out of there by whatever means. For two days, she and the others had ventured to the camp, but nothing could be done to persuade them. While Kyoko had promised she would keep him alive for a few more days, they still had zero proof, and as soon as reinforcements arrived, they would execute him. Two days away from Inuyasha were excruciating, and she was tired of retreating when night fell. She needed to be near him at every moment, as close as she could get. And when the day arrived that they planned to kill him, she would do whatever it took to protect him. She would shed no matter how much blood to spare him.

The entire group by the fire was staring at her, confused as to why she had returned at this hour, but she paid them no mind as she walked to a post in the middle of the campsite and sat down, leaning against it. She didn´t speak a word. Not like they could have a conversation from 30 feet away, but she could feel them burning holes in her back with their eyes.

The only thing she brought with her was a thin blanket. The summer night was relatively warm, but there was still a chill in the wind. Her heart ached as she remembered the night she and Inuyasha spent beneath the stars just a few days ago. She tried to remember the warmth of his body against hers to guard her against the night cold. She brought her knees up to her chin, wrapped the thin blanket around her, and became as still as stone. She was staring out at the forest without staring at anything at all. Her mind was solely focused on her mate, her purpose, her reason for being. She was incredibly tired, but she refused to fall asleep. The last two nights hadn´t favored her very well. It would be hard to stay awake sitting there doing absolutely nothing, but she would find a way to make it happen.

The sounds of the crackling fire were lulling her to sleep, but for 2 hours she stayed like that. She closed her eyes and listened to the little sounds, imagining she was sitting by a campfire with all her friends and her mate by her side. So she was shocked when four men suddenly appeared before her. She gasped as they leered down on her, "What´s the little miko doing here all alone? Don´t you know it´s dangerous for a woman to be off by herself in these woods?"

They laughed in sinister voices. Kagome shook like a frightened kitten. True enough, she had never been as terrified as she was whenever Inuyasha was away, especially when surrounded by Feudal Era men, known for their ruthlessness.

One of the men leaned in closer. "Better run away, little miko, or we´ll make you wish you had."

She stole herself against the underlying threat of his words. No matter what they said or did, she would never abandon Inuyasha. And so she set her jaw in place and glared back at them, not caring how obvious her fear was. At the very least she could prove that she wasn´t scared enough to run away.

Unfortunately, it wasn´t enough just to look tough, and they knew she didn´t have the muscle to fight them off if they wanted to have their way with her…

One of them grabbed her hair and she cried out, "Let go!"

"Women should pay attention when they are told to," said another one, hovering over her from the other sisde.

Suddenly, she found herself on her back, straddling by one of the men. She screamed. The three other men surrounded her, so all she could see was them. They didn´t even bother to cover her mouth. For a half a second, she wondered if it was so common amongst these men that the others didn´t bother to interfere. The one on top of her was already groping his way down her body. She pushed and shoved the man on top of her, but the other men were both holding her down and trying to cop a feel themselves.

Kagome screeched and squirmed like a child having a temper tantrum, so overwhelmed by fear that she didn´t have the chance to consider that what they really wanted to do was frighten her. The idea of forcing her into submission was just as pleasurable as sex itself.

"Please!" she cried, tears streaming down her face, "Let me go…. Please… Inuyasha!"

"Your hanyou ain´t here to help you now, miko, though I´m sure he´d enjoy the show."

´Inuyasha…` Her mind whispered, `I´m so sorry… Please, forgive me. I love you.`

Every stroke of their hands made vomit rise up into her throat. Her body was for Inuyasha and Inuyasha only. These touches were nothing like the touches she had shared with Inuyahsa just a few nights ago. There was no warmth and tenderness in these hands. Their forced kisses tasted like venom. They squeezed her hard, they pinched, they forced their way past clothes. How anyone could feel any pleasure for this was beyond her.

She continued to scream, her voice already growing hoarse, when suddenly the man on top of her was thrown off. She expected that he was to be replaced by someone else, only to see that the other men were backing away as well.

She looked up to see the exterminator leader, Kyoko, glaring at the men. "Perhaps it´s the men who should pay attention to what they are told… I commanded you not to touch the women."

Her voice was fierce and commanding, and for a moment Kagome felt more than a sense of gratefulness. She felt a certain sense of respect for her. The men scampered to their feet and distanced themselves even more than before, apologizing profusely, "It won´t happen again, Kyoko-sama!"

"It better not, or I´ll see you all beheaded. As it is, you´ll be in charge of hunting for food for the next week."

Kagome heard them sigh and grumble, but soon the sounds of their footsteps carried them away and she could finally breathe in a sigh of relief.

"Are you alright?" Kyoko asked.

It was odd to hear such a question from such a powerful voice, but Kagome was happy for it all the same. Tears continued to cascade down her face, but she recovered herself quickly, "Yes… Yes, I´m fine."

"Regardless of our quarrel with your hanyou, I will never condone such behavior as this."

"Thank you," she whispered, just loud enough for her to here.

Thinking this was all, she grabbed her blanket again and nestled up against the post, resuming her former position. Kyoko´s eyes went wide, "You are staying here? After what just happened?"

Kagome clenched her fists and bit back more tears, "I don´t leave him," she whispered, "No matter what."

There was a long silence that followed. Kyoko looked to her husband close by, to the other men by the fire, to the guards at her side, and then she rolled her eyes, "You really are hopeless, child, waiting around for him. We are not just going to set him free."

"I don´t care," she answered truthfully, "as long as I can be near him. I can´t let you hurt him."

Kyoko shut her eyes, hiding her shock at this situation. Seldom did a nearly raped woman stick around near the perpetrators. She was either very brave or very stupid. Either way, there was only one way to settle this… and her conscience.

Kagome made a small yelping sound when Kyoko pulled her to her feet. She looked at the two guards by her side, "Bring her."

Kagome´s heart stopped when they grabbed her by the arms. The worst possibilities came to mind. Because of her stubbornness, was she going to let the men continue off where they started? Was she going to be placed in a holding cell too? But with that, there was new hope… Maybe she would be even closer to Inuyasha… Close enough to see him, perhaps.

They made their way past a grouping of buildings, houses for the soldiers, all packed tightly together. They were made not very well, since their stay was only temporary. But there was one structure that they always had to have the strongest, a holding cell for youkai. They had used an already established, but abandoned house. It was made of stone and metal, and it reminded Kagome of pictures of medieval Europe during the Inquisition days. Fear ran through her heart again. Had they been torturing Inuyasha?

They stopped in front of the doorway. Kyoko looked back at her with stern eyes, "This isn't something I normally do, but if you promise to leave this campsite afterwards, I will allow you to see him."

New tears welled up in Kagome´s eyes, but this time it was from joy.

"You cannot stay with him forever. I want you gone by the hour. We will send in a guard and retrieve you when your time is up. Is that clear?"

Kagome nodded her head quickly, trying to hold her composure and failing miserably. She had promised herself she wouldn´t be far anyway, even after all this. If they made any move to hurt her mate, she would fight tooth and nail to stop them.

Without another word, she opened the door and walked inside, letting Kagome step in beside her.

Kagome gasped softly.

She saw him changed to the wall, like some kind of animal. Her senses immediately noted the presence of a force around the chains, keeping him from breaking them with his youkai strength. His arms were held up. He sat on his knees and his head was hunched forward, like he was sleeping. She realized he was sleeping. He didn´t react to the opening of the door.

She ran to him, but the bars kept her from him. She knocked into them with enough force to fracture a bone or two, were it not for her arms getting in the way.

She saw blood on him in thin red lines, brown on his red yukata. She looked back at Kyoko, begging with her gaze. The exterminator understood. She pulled a key from her dress and opened the door, just enough for Kagome to slide in.

Kagome was slower to his side than she wanted to be. Seeing him like this was a dagger to her heart. Her suspicions had not been too far off the mark when she imagined him in a Inquisition-like dungeon. The way his head sagged forward made him look like he was on the brink of death. A bit of moonlight shined down on him from a tiny skylight, making his white hair glow. She stepped in front of the shadow, and he stirred, his white ears flickering.

She let out another throaty gasp. He slowly raised his head and looked at her, his eyes blank, as though he couldn´t see a foot in front of him. Dark circles lay under his eyelids. Of course he couldn´t have slept well.

"Am I dreaming?" He whispered.

The sound of his voice, the voice she had missed so desperately for the past few days, brought new and familiar tears to her eyes. In a sob, she rushed to him, fell to her knees and threw her arms around him.

Inuyasha felt her collide with his body and barely held back a groan of pain. Her hands were pressed hard against the flesh wounds of his whipping. Still, the pain confirmed for him that this was no dream. No dream of Kagome could ever hurt this badly, not even a nightmare. But he welcomed the burn. Tears rushed to his eyes, but he refused to let himself shed tears in front of her, especially not when she was so distraught.

"Kagome…" He murmured against her neck, pressing warm kisses on her skin.

She responded by holding him tighter.

His arms immediately tightened in his chains, dying to hold her for just a moment. His arms wouldn´t budge. Ryu had tightening them so that they were suspended above his head in a humiliating position of submission. He couldn´t move them an inch. He nuzzled Kagome´s hair with his nose and let out a saddened whimper. It was cruel to not be able to hold her. How else was he supposed to comfort her?

"Inuyasha…" She cried.

He could have to do his best with words, "You shouldn´t be here… You should be safe with the others. I told you to never be alone at a time like this."

He tried to be stern with her, but his voice was too soft to accomplish such a feat. He didn´t have the will power to be cross with her now. He continued burying his nose in her hair, inhaling her calming scent. Every day it seemed to grow more and more intoxicating. Why was that?

"I had to see you. I had to at least be close to you."

Inuyasha tried to move his arms again. The chains rattled, catching her attention. She looked up at his suspended arms and fingered the locks. A movement in the room nearly caused her to scream. A guard had entered the room and lurked in the corner, just in case they were to make any plans of escape. He now eyed her with a look of warning. It was clear what he wanted to tell her. If she tried to set him free, he would drag her out of here. She looked back at Inuyasha and touched his cheeks with her palms. His face was spotted with dirt and grime, but his eyes glowed with love, same as always.

He leaned into her hands, "Please keep yourself out of danger, Kagome."

"I´m okay," she said, cringing as she remembered what happened just before she came in. She hoped never to tell him that. An idea struck her. "Move back against the wall… The chains will get looser."

He did as he was told, scooting backwards along with his mate in his lap, until his back touched the wall. Surprisingly, the pressure of the chains had loosened, just enough for him to bring them down to touch her. With a smile, he put his arms lightly around her shoulders. It wasn´t much, but it was enough to ease her pain. She buried her face into his chest and sighed deeply. With the movement, all the fear and tension rushed out of him. All the pain he was in was nothing when faced with the pain of losing the woman in his arms. He would rather die a thousand deaths than be parted from her side. He tucked her under his chin and held her as close as he could. If only he could make a cocoon for her out of his arms and body, to shield her from the dangers of the world. If only he had the power to take away her tears.

"They say they are waiting to kill you… What are we going to do?"

In all honesty, he had no idea, and he feared the worst. Of course, he would never let Kagome know that. "It´ll be fine."

"How?"

"I don´t know… but it will be. We´ll figure something out."

"What can I do?" She asked, shifting so she could look up at him.

In her eyes there was that memorable determination, the need to protect him just as he had always protected her. He grimaced. He couldn´t bare it for her to try to protect him, not when she could get hurt in the process. She never understood that her strength was nothing against most youkai out there, and even her spiritual powers couldn´t keep her safe forever. He lightly fingered the back of her hair and looked into her eyes, his expression suddenly unyielding, "You have to go back."

"What?" She asked, her heart skipping a beat.

"Please, Kagome… As long as I´m here, I´m positive that Kokuei will strike. You need to get back to the well and back to your time, so you´ll be safe."

Her body shook, "How can you say that?"

"Please, Kagome! If something happens to me, I need to know that you´re safe."

She burst into tears again and he was immediately sorry for his words. He held her to his chest again. "Wench… Stop crying."

"How can you tell me to go home while they are planning to kill you? I don't care if Kokuei comes after me, I´d rather he kill me than let you die!"

Inuyasha´s whole body tightened, "Don´t say that!"

"Then stop it! Don´t tell me to just leave you," She yelled, "I won´t do it!"

His resolve weakened. This wasn´t the time to make her fearful, and certainly not to argue. They could very well kill him tomorrow… Who knew if this was the last moment he could have with her?

´No,´ he thought, ´No, I won´t let it end this way.´

"I´ll be fine," He told her calmly, "You´ll see. I´ll get out of this just like I always do, and we´ll be on our way and kicking youkai butt in no time."

She smiled a little, and he felt like at least he was worth something, so long as he could make her a little bit happy in times like these. He wasn´t all too sure of his words themselves, but he´d be damned if he saw Kagome cry again. He wanted to make her smile again, even if just a little. Then, if tomorrow was his end, he could remember how her face could light up with happiness. He could die peacefully as long as he remembered her like that.

But no… He wasn´t ready to die yet. He had finally found a place to belong. He had friends, a mate… And they had agreed just a few days ago that they would someday have pups. How could fate possibly take his life now? Of course, Inuyasha knew that fate showed mercy on no one, but he would fight it tooth and nail to stay by Kagome´s side.

He kissed her neck, her cheeks, her nose, and then her lips. She sighed against his kiss, whimpered, as though the gesture had robbed her of what little strength she had. But she held him close to her as he soothed her. It was worth anything she had had to go through just to be with him for a moment. A tender embrace, a stolen kiss, the sound of his voice… In spite of the pain in her heart, she was whole again.

Her sobs reduced to little hiccups and she settled against him, growing tired. She wanted to stay awake, but she had spent two days without rest, needing to be by his side. Now that she was, sleep was coming easy to her. She fought to stay awake, not wanting to waste any of this precious time.

Inuyasha looked at the dark circles under her eyes. "You´re tired," He said.

"I couldn´t sleep. I didn´t dare."

He shook his head. "Wench…"

There was nothing more to be said. They just looked at each other for a long while. Everything they were feeling, everything that needed to say, it was all there in their eyes. It was strange to think that Inuyasha had such a hard time expressing how he felt, but even stranger that Kagome hadn´t been able to tell just by looking at his eyes all the time. Right now, they looked just as desperate as hers. The future was frightening and unknown. Who knew when they would be torn apart again? Who knew if the separation would last?

She ran her hands lazily along his jaw line. He shut his eyes, focusing on the softness of her fingers. When he opened them again, his eyes were determined, truthful, and the words spilled out from him like air, "I love you, wench."

Kagome´s breath caught in her throat. It was so rarely that Inuyasha told her that he loved her, so whenever he did it was just like being kissed by him for the first time. Her heart seemed to explode in her chest, but only in the most pleasant way. The sensation of it ran to her fingertips and into his cheeks. He would never come to understand just how much the words meant to her, even if they were only just words, even if she had known it in her heart for so long now. Even that he called her a wench at the same time meant nothing. She was his wench… His beloved wench. If she had anything to say about it, she always would be.

She leaned forward to press her lips sweetly against his again. It was gentle and innocent, but underneath it was more passion than she knew how to express. She only had words for this feeling, words far too simple to express it in its entirety. "I love you, too."

A grin touched the corner of his lips. Maybe he did understand… Maybe he felt it too whenever she said it to him.

He pressed her against his heart and kissed her temper. "Go to sleep."

His voice was so soothing, so velvety, that already she felt her body obeying him. "No, I don't want to miss this."

"It´s enough that you´re here. Go to sleep, Kagome. I´ll watch over you."

Inuyasha would always protect her, she knew that. And she never felt safer in all her life than when she was in his arms. Forgetting about the pain and uncertainties of tomorrow, she let her eyelids droop shut. Soon after, the soft rumbling from Inuyasha´s chest filled her ears, and with a contented sigh, she succumbed.

To be continued…

**Caramba, it´s been forever! I don´t really have a truthfully valid excuse. I moved back to Spain to go to grad school and it´s definitely been the most stressful time of my life, but I never wanted to abandon this story. Hopefully I can get back on track with this story. I´ve tried so many times to write this chapter, but I never felt I could get it right. It´s shorter than I would have liked but there is a bit more fluff in the next chapter, so it isn´t over yet. **

**I hope you enjoyed it and I hope the fans out there are still looking out for this story. It´s been so long I wonder if anyone´s paying attention anymore. Assuming you are, please leave me a review. I will post the next chapter as soon as possible. Please forgive me for the massive delay.**

**Btw, massive plot twist coming your way soon, so stay tuned! ******

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo Toodles!**


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